The Source for a Bar Mitzvah Celebration

 

 

The Avnei Nezer asks an interesting question. Who gets a bigger reward, one who studies Torah and doesn’t get enjoyment from the learning or one who learns and receives tremendous pleasure from it?

 

There are people who get such a high from learning. It’s definitely a nice feeling and at times I can testify about that tremendous feeling. One might think that the one who doesn’t get the enjoyment from studying Torah gets a greater reward. The reason is because it makes the obligation more difficult; he’s not enjoying it. However, the Avnai Nazer concludes that in fact the one who gets the pleasure gets the greater reward because that’s the proper way to learn.

 

Rabbi Baruch Dopelt, quoting the MARSHAL, asks, “Who gets a greater reward, one who is obligated to do a MITZVA-commandment or one who isn’t but does it anyway?

 

An example is given from the Talmud in tractate Kedushin. There is a discussion between Rav Yehuda and the Sages about if a blind man is obligated to do Torah commandments or not. Rav Yehuda says he’s not obligated, and if he does them anyway, they should have a celebration because of the difficulty due to his deficiencies. The Sages ask on Rav Yehuda and I paraphrase, “You mean to say that a person who is not obligated has a tougher time doing Gd commandments?! We say the opposite; a person who has an obligation has a far more difficult time doing the MITZVOT. The reason is that it’s human nature to say ‘I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. I’LL DO IT WHEN I’M GOOD AND READY!!’” The evil inclination plays with us. The more the obligation, the more the resistance and the more the mental TZA’AR-anguish. Therefore they conclude that it’s a lot tougher for one to fulfill the Mitzvot when he is commanded to do so.

 

In this week’s Parsha, we speak of a GER-convert. “We should not cause anguish to the stranger (convert)”. A GER, by the way, is one that has experienced the feelings both of obligation and no obligation to do MITZVOT. As a Jew, he is obligated do all the commandment; no excuses. When he’s about to convert, he does the MITZVAH without any pressure or responsibilities.

 

The Marshal concludes that if Rav Yehuda wanted to throw a party for one who is not obligated (a blind man), how much more so to a thirteen year old who is on the threshold of taking a tremendous step and accepting the responsibility to do the MITZVOT. THEY SHOULD THROW A HUGE PARTY!!! This is the source of a Bar Mitzvah celebration.

 

This Shabbat commemorates the 9th anniversary of my father’s passing. He orchestrated and led, with the help of Teddy Pinchasi and later Aharon Tzionov, Bar Mitzvot for Russian immigrants, who either could not afford it or because of not being proficient in Torah and tradition, did not deem it important. On three separate occasions, he would collect money and throw a big party at the main Bukharian Bet Hakneset in Forest Hills in honor of the Bar Mitzvah boys. The boys would get a chance to put on for the first time their new T’filin and to make the brachot.

 

As a child, my father escaped the Soviet Union with his Mother (my grandfather was too sick to travel) to Israel. He arrived at an age close to his Bar Mitzvah. It was difficult to adjust; still, they managed to survive. He never talked about his Bar Mitzvah. He didn’t need to. The actions he took by doing this big Mitzvah spoke for itself.

 

I once had the pleasure of meeting, many years later, one of the Bar Mitzvah boys. He was observant and Orthodox and with a beard. He said to me: “I used to come home every day from school and stare at the T’filin which I received as a gift and think of that special day. It left a lasting impression. Your father once came into the office where I worked and I was debating whether to walk over to him and tell him that I was one of those boys. However, I was too shy.”

 

It’s a shame he didn’t introduce himself, my father would have been proud.

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