 There is a Torah level commandment and there is a Rabbinical level commandment, Praying is a Torah level. Generally speaking, one should be a bit more careful with a Torah level commandments. Apparently one can fulfill his duty of prayer by talking to G-d in private with no time frame attached. However, if one wants to get the maximum results, he should follow the guidelines in which the Sages have instructed.
The nucleus of the prayer is the Amida, otherwise known as the Shemoneh Esrei. Amida means to stand; it’s also said in silent, individually. The RAMBAM – Maimonides advised, one who wants to form a strong bond with G-d should recite the first bracha of the Amida with concentration. The Shemoneh Esrei, which refers to the original eighteen brachot, now nineteen, is recited three times a day (Shabbat four) .There are four levels of prayer, concentration, found in the prayers and the Amida is at the climax. In order to have good prayer, one has to have good concentration and in order to have good concentration one cannot speak during certain prayers. For example, one is allowed to say Amen before BARUCH SHE’AMAR, the first of four levels. Between BARUCH SHE’AMAR and BARUCHU, which is the second level, it is still permissible. However, in the next level, which is between BARUCHU and the AMIDA, one is only allowed to say Amen between paragraphs. The last and most intense in concentration, between GA’AL YISRAEL and the AMIDA, there should be no recitation of the Amen. While one is in the middle of the AMIDA and the Chazzan and the minyan (congregation) recites the KEDUSHA, you are prohibited to utter Amen, or for that matter, anything. One should just remain quiet and concentrate on the KEDUSHA and after they are finished, resume your AMIDA. |
Archive for August 2013
Prayer: A Chart
Og, the Giant
The greatest prophet that ever lived was none other than Moshe, the undisputed greatest leader we ever had. Moshe’s communication with G-d was the most intimate of any human. He argued with angels and was victorious. It is also said that the angel of death was confused on how to take his soul when the time came. Apparently, Moshe gave him a hard time. Therefore, it is mind boggling to read in this week’s Parsha that Moshe was scared of Og, the Giant. Og’s name is the result of when he came to visit Abraham and Sarah; she was making oogot – cookies. So by association from then on, they called him Og.
Og was unusual in a big way, no pun intended, because he was a giant. He was the king of Bashan and the Israelites went to war against them. Why was Moshe scared, out of all people, of Og?
Apparently, Og was the one who informed Abraham that his nephew Lot was kidnapped. This propelled Abraham to go to war with the king and was responsible to save his nephew. The fact that Og informed Abraham was what merited Og to live a long life. Moshe was scared because if he goes to war with Og, he will still have in his bank the remnants of that act of informing Abraham which resulted in saving Lot.
However, Og had an ulterior motive. The reason why he informed Abraham was that he anticipated Abraham will go to battle and would die. Then he will be in line to marry Abraham’s widow, Sarah. So it wasn’t the purist of intentions to say the least. However, as Rav Henoch Leibowitz zt’l points out, even with his selfish, mean ulterior motives, the fact that he was instrumental in being the messenger and saving Lot, he has tremendous merit under his belt. It therefore marks him as a dangerous foe.
We learn from here that one never knows what merit an individual has. On the surface, he can be the biggest rasha; however, if he performed one act of kindness a gazillion years ago that can translate to an answered prayer at a time of need for this person, or in this case perhaps a victory at war. This is what Moshe was afraid of; at the end Moshe was victorious and the Jews were en route to conquer the promised land.
Avoiding Another Tragedy
The new generation didn’t understand their elders; sounds familiar doesn’t it? The young were sick and tired of Rome, the occupiers, lording over them. The new blood developed a backbone; the cast of characters consisted of hotheads, Mafioso, zealots, and a few Rabbis. But in hindsight, it was very dangerous to be Mr. Macho Maccabee; it was the wrong time. Hillel, the great sage, warned the Jews to keep a low profile and let sleeping dogs lie. However, the Jews were divided into bitter rival factions and the friction between them was heard all the way in Rome. Each group portrayed the other as disloyal to the Roman Empire. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the Kamtza-Bar-Kamtza story. One of them received an invitation mistakenly meant for the other. So he came to the party thinking the host wants to reconcile their differences. When he arrived, the host was shocked to see him and ordered his butlers to kick him out. Trying to reason with the host was futile; he even offered to pay for half the party as long as he wouldn’t embarrass him so people shouldn’t see him being thrown out. The Rabbis attending, unfortunately, didn’t intervene. This was a tremendous mistake and a lesson to be learned, to save your fellow from uncomfortable situations. After being embarrassed by being kicked out, he went to the Roman authorities the next day with a vicious scream, where disloyalty was very apparent, against the Empire. The Romans had enough and the war began. Do we fight them or do we lay low? Every faction had their opinion – who was right? A bitter divide was apparent in the midst of our people.
Three wealthy Jews supplied grains to the brethren in the walled city of Jerusalem that would have lasted for twenty years. One of the bravado groups insisted that the whole nation fight even though there were sufficient numbers that were against such action. They forced their hand by destroying all the grain. “Ah ha, now you have to fight.” We, unfortunately know the disastrous result.
Not getting along and hatred was obviously the main reason of the destruction of the temple. I would like to bring out another valuable lesson from this tragic time.
A good number of years ago, a kashrut organization in collaboration with a mashgiach was certifying a restaurant kosher. The Mashgiach had various stores and restaurants under him. The Mashgiach, though, was a cocky guy; he had the “I know how to perform my job. I’m the best in the business,” attitude. The head of the kashrut organization was a no-nonsense, impatient, short-fused type. Both, though, were very sincere law-abiding religious pious Jews. The Mashgiach’s job was to report weekly to the kashrut organization. Although it’s a formal tedious procedure, however, the by-the-books kashrut chief expected it. However, the mashgiach didn’t follow the kashrut protocol and guidelines. The head of the kashrut organization would call him periodically for reports, but the Mashgiach didn’t comply. He didn’t even bother to relay the message, “I’m handling the situation, you’re in good hands. You have to assume I’m in the control booth; it’ll be okay”. The head chief was livid that the report was not on his desk or on his answering machine. “There must be something wrong. He’s either hiding something or not doing his job,” proclaimed the chief. He then removed the kashrut certificate from the restaurant claiming non-compliant; something was fishy.
Is there anything wrong with their behavior? Should he have filled out the silly report once a week? “Yes!” Should the kashrut chairman have a little bit more tolerance? “Yes.” All this is emet. However, there is another important factor and that is to realize and be aware of the ramification of their actions. The innocent store owner lost his certification, lost clientele after bouncing around from one fly by night hashgacha to another, and eventually lost his business.
Perhaps this is what the Jews in the Temple times were also guilty of. They didn’t foresee what their actions will bring; what the ramifications of their decisions would be. Was anybody thinking what would happen if they lost the war? What justification do they have to destroy the grain? This would have tired out the enemy for they would have to wait a very long time outside the fortress.
Seeing beyond the surface is vital for everyday life. When your wife or husband does or says something to hurt you, first, one should ask themselves “Did I do something to trigger her reaction?” If your kids starts to fight with each other or have a temper tantrum, the possibility exists maybe they’re hungry. One cannot react right away. If someone talks bad about you, one has to think first and ask is it a good idea to retaliate? What would be the ramifications if I do? Think of all the considerations before you react. One must think of the bigger picture of what might happen; what it would cause. We should try to see the other side. If we are able to see the consequences, we will avoid a lot of headaches in our lives and the lives of others.
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The Art of Rebuke
What is the best method to criticize and get good results in return, from loved ones, friends, employees, or subordinates? How about this; “HEY, IDIOT YOU BLEW IT, MY FIVE YEAR OLD COULD HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB!!! How do you think that will work? I know many who use that approach. Or, how about the old famous rebuke “I told you so”, That always makes a person feel good about himself. Now, which one is best suited for your style? Pick your poison.
Generally speaking, we don’t take criticism very well and truth be told only few methods are effective.
Rav Henoch Leibowitz z”tl, brings a beautiful example of an effective rebuke. Miriam and Aharon, who were the brother and sister of Moshe, the leader of the Jews, were discussing how Moshe was not spending enough time with his wife. “He’s too busy working late in the office”. This constitutes speaking Lashon Harah – speaking bad about someone. G-d then rebukes them. However, listen to the kind of language He uses when he approached them “Listen, please, to my words.” WOW, PLEASE!! What’s this “please” business? Although G-d was angry for speaking lashon harah on Moshe, however, He used nice pleasant words in rebuke. If G-d would have been tough, He would not have been heard. One can argue if it was a more harsher tone, they would have felt the severity of the sin. However, by nature, man doesn’t like to be rebuked and if it’s in an angry tone, he would shut it out even more. A person would automatically develop a defense mechanism and not comprehend the full value of the rebuke. This is especially true if the poor guy is being screamed at. He will not comprehend anything from the criticism. This goes against the goal of what was intended of the rebuke; the idea is to get the message across.
It’s also recommended to give an example.We find Natan, the prophet, giving an example to King David after David hastily and conveniently sent Batsheva’s husband, Uri Hachiti, to the front battle. Natan figured out David’s true intentions. A little while later, he was killed in battle. Natan asked David, “If a rich man stole a cow from a poor man, what would you do your majesty?” “The rich man should be punished.”, David replied. “That’s you, your highness, you’re the rich man”. Natan said it in such a way that David was able to accept fault. He didn’t realize until Natan’s example to what extent his crime was.
We have to know how sensitive a person is before we criticize. An example is Reuben and his father Yaacov. Yaacov had four wives; imagine getting rebuked not by one, but four wives. KOL HAKAVOD. After Rachel died, Yaacov transferred his primary bed to Bilah’s tent instead of his mother, Leah’s. Reuben felt his mother’s honor would be hurt so he moved the bed to his mother’s tent. It was a lack of respect on his part to play marriage counselor. Although Yaacov did not approve, he didn’t say a word until he was on his death bed. Yaacov rationalized Reuben was so sensitive that he would totally lose it and may even join his (Yaacov) wicked brother, Eisav.
Sometimes rebuke is just stating the facts. We find when Yosef revealed to his brothers, his true identity “I am you brother, Yosef”. That line, itself, was the most devastating rebuke one can give. The brothers realized at that moment their whole philosophy, their way of thinking, all these years was wrong. Yosef’s dream, for the most part, came true; they were shocked, confused, and devastated.
The Sages say the last rebuke is what we all are going to go through after 120. When we enter the Olam ha’emet, the heavens, where there is no false. The truth will be disclosed and we’ll be standing there staring at the truth and nothing but the truth, and feeling humiliated. This is considered the ultimate rebuke.
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Comfort Me
The Haftorah uses a strange language for comforting the Jewish people after the destruction of the Temple. It says nachamu nachamu – comfort; it should have said hit-nachamu – be comforted. Rabbi Baruch Dopelt, quoting his sources, says first of all it seems like it’s not just the Jewish people that the comfort is addressed to. We derive that also from the double repeat of nachamu. Who is the phantom second nachamu referring to?
The Sages teach us the phantom second comfort is referring to G-d. He promised that He will always be in our midst whether thick or thin, whether to share our joy or our pain; therefore He is with us in our time of despair and being comforted as well.
When one loses a loved one, he says the very important prayer “kaddish”. The purpose of the kaddish is to exalt the name of G-d; to bring his name out in the world, and every time we do so, our deceased loved one’s soul is raised in the heavens. It’s interesting to note that in the kaddish, there is that word again ve-nechamat – and comfort. Apparently, we are also comforting G-d in this prayer of praise of kaddish. It seems like He is also being comforted for the loss of our loved one.
Rabbi Gedalya Schorr explains that this world is like one big symphony and everyone is here to play his own unique instrument that only he can. Rabbi Dopelt says every one of us came into this world on a mission to praise G-d and no one can do our mission but ourselves. When one passes away, although his mission is complete, however his departure leaves a void in the symphony; it’s a loss of praise. Therefore, G-d is grieving with us at the loss of life.
One should always know that we are not alone whether in time of joy, and especially in a time of sorrow; G-d is always with us.
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American Classic
There are certain events in history, that if one is a part of it, he would be defined as privileged. An example would be, if one is part of a home crowd where their team is playing the seventh and deciding game of the World Series. At the last at bat where the bases are loaded with two outs and in dramatic fashion, the home team batter hits a grand slam homerun. What a dream it is to be a part of the moment in the stadium with thousands who are watching this great classic, epic event. Such is the case, last week at the twelfth Siyum Hashas, where 90,000 plus, Orthodox Jews attended to celebrate finishing the seven year cycle of the Talmud. Although, not wild like what was just described, the crowd a bit more subdued, tamed, and a lot more dignified, but you can tell that everybody there had this inner simcha – happiness that was so gratifying.
Besides the proud accomplishment of finishing the cycle, Jews and American Jews, especially, should be proud of the incredible, well-organized and well-orchestrated display of speakers, video presentations, musicians, cantors and choirs. They brought the best in the business to the grand stage of the biggest crowd, in the history of a Jewish religious sit-down, with your potato chips and $3.50 bottled water, event. This was an awesome display of modern technology and Torah, where you had four jumbo size big screens at the four corners of the stadium and the acoustics were amazing. Rabbi Yissachar Frand, who is one of the top gun American speakers in the Jewish circuit, spoke very well. It was an American style speech, getting the large crowd to clap with enthusiasm every so often similar to the classic American orators that we see so frequent on television. It reminded me of those Republican/Democratic conventions or State of the Union addresses style that the Americans have always been able to orchestrate so well. Once again, Jews have mimicked their host country. I believe it’s a very positive mimic. The American Jews made an event that was impressive with class in a breathtaking big way on a grand scale like no other. I’ve often mentioned my multi-cultural background, though ironically, I feel it’s hard to connect to any particular group. It’s sad that you cannot call anything home; however, because of my familiarity, I’m able to appreciate fully a culture very fine points, since I often bounce around from flag to flag. Those of you who were born in America or grew up here will understand where I’m coming from and realize and understand the American Jewish pride was brought out in this enormous event.
It’s a shame many of our brethren did not attend, they would have seen Orthodoxy at its best – to observe what’s in our heart and what we are proud of in a pageantry way. Sometimes words cannot do justice to what’s in the heart; however, an event like this speaks for itself. An example of what I mean, it was the sixth game of the famous 1986 Word Series where the New York Mets won in dramatic fashion. The announcer, Vince Scully, said words cannot describe what just transpired and he let the camera roll for about five minutes without a word spoken. Similarly, this event “you had to be there”; no YouTube or television would do it justice. I regret not bringing loved ones and friends. I just hope in seven and a half years from now, the next Siyum Hashas, I will have the opportunity, G-d willing, to bring those loved ones and friends and not say a word; just let the breathtaking event speak for itself. |
Tidbits on Parshat Eikev
As we discussed in the highlights section of this newsletter, the second passage in the Shema, Ve’haya im sha’moa, which is one of the most famous prayers, is found in this week’s Parsha. It is written here, that these words should be recited twice daily. It emphasizes one should take upon himself the acceptance of G-d’s commandments. Generally, this section, as opposed to the previous section, G-d promises supernatural rewards (rain and prosperity) for fulfillment of the Mitzvot, and punishment (drought and exile) for their abandonment, is written in plural form. It’s implying that the reward and punishment are conferred only in response of the majority.
Interesting to note, the Gemarah in Brachot 15:b, derives from the word ve’limaditem – and you should teach them – which implies that your studies shall be pure – that one must pause between those words that tend to be attached. My grandfather, who was a chazzan, would emphasize to me, to be clear and look up when you talk. Here the Gemarah implies that we should enunciate the words flawlessly. Indeed, we find in many of the siddurim, one of which, here, is Sharai Tsion, where there are warning signs where one could err. If one notices in the picture, some words where it could be problematic, there is an asterisk on an ending letter of a word and one at the beginning letter of the next words. Implying, one should stop and be careful in the pronunciation and not crunch them together. Many are careful in reciting the Shema.
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The Intensity of Prayer
 The great Avraham, our forefather, was extremely charismatic and one whose kindness to others was widely known. He was labeled G-d’s servant. He had a son, Yitzchak, who, like his father, had a very hard time having kids. The Torah describes Yitzchak praying in one corner and his wife Rivka praying in the other corner. We read in the Torah “G-d answered him”. Rashi, who is one of the main commentaries on the Torah, asks why was Yitzchak’s prayers answered over Rivka’s? He answers, Yitzchak is a tzadik the son of a tzadik while Rivka is a tzadaket the daughter of a rasha.
The Taz, who was one of the leading lawmakers, concludes from the above passage that if there are two people who want to go up to the bima to be a chazzan, (one who leads the prayer), one comes from a good family background, while the other fellow comes from a not-so-good family background. Even though they are both shomer mitzvot, religious (Shabbat observant), equal in good character, nevertheless because the father of one of them is non-observant, the tzadik ben tzadik is picked. This is the understanding we derive from Rashi. “However”, the Taz continues “I don’t hold that way. We know, it’s common knowledge.” A person who is a Ba’al Teshuva – a person who becomes observant (keeping Shabbat, Kosher, etc.) is on a higher level than the FFB – frum (religious) from birth. The reason is because it’s harder for him to keep Shabbat and not turn on the lights or turn on the TV and watch a ballgame because he’s accustomed to it. It’s probably difficult to give up the non-kosher food, as well. To break away from those pleasures takes a lot of courage. G-d is well aware of the challenges the BT has and is overcoming . He therefore, puts him and his prayers above the rest. For a FFB, to turn on the TV on Shabbat is not even on the radar gun. He was trained since childhood not to turn on the lights on Shabbat.
This argument is divided among the Sages throughout the generations.
Let’s examine briefly the power of prayer:
There was a study taken and published in the New York Times a number of years ago, that people who pray regularly are less likely to get depressed. They are more motivated to do everyday life activities; they’re psychologically uplifted. So it seems like prayer is a tool to increase energy. Does prayer really work? Can it change destiny?
We see from the most important part of our history that prayer had an enormous impact. We were slaves in Egypt and destined to be there for four hundred years. “G-d heard their moaning.” As a result of hearing their prayer, their anguish, G-d let them out after only 210 years.
What happens when one prays for a sick person and he dies?
The hardest thing for a human to realize is that the last word is G-d’s. It’s His world, not ours.
The Chovot Halevavot says the very act of prayer elevates and transforms us where we are no longer the same individual we were before. So if there is a heavenly decree against a person, it could very well be annulled through prayer. Since he has been transformed through prayer, he is no longer the same person against whom the original decree has been issued. This is what Moshe tried to do in this week’s Parsha; however again, the last word is G-d’s.
Rabbi Bunim was once asked, how can a person who does not wear Tefillin, desecrates the Shabbat, and eats non-kosher, be wealthy, and generally successful? He answered, this is the curse of the snake who is cursed more than all the cattle and beast. “On your stomach, you shall go and eat dust all the days of your life.” We know dust is not tasty, but plentiful; it’s always accessible. Seemingly, G-d blessed the snake and did not curse him. However, a human has to work by the sweat of his brow and have childbirth pains; now that’s punishment.
The predicament means it forces him to pray, bond, and get close to G-d. In fact, it’s a big sin when man is in a crisis and doesn’t pray to his maker. The snake, who is provided all its necessities, has no connection with G-d and does not need to communicate. This is the biggest curse anyone can receive.
After agreeing to marry Yitzchak, and as she was being escorted to the house of Avraham, the scripture says “She saw Yitzchak for the very first time and she fell off the camel.” Rashi commented he was praying Mincha. R’ Eli Mansour quotes the Netziv of Veloshin who says, “She was awed at the intensity of him praying.” From that moment on, she developed a fear of her husband, Yitzchak, that remained for the rest of her life. A fear that stemmed from the intensity of prayer; that through this prayer they got their children, Yaacov and Eisav.
So perhaps, it’s not the background of a person – but the individual – who can make a difference. |
A Simple Act of Kindness
We have finished the three weeks of national mourning concluding with Tisha B’av. We only hope during that dark period, our brethren, including yours truly, have done some soul searching and have learned from the countless and precious videos of the inspirational speakers that were shown on that fast day through out the world, how to deal with people and are ready to face (with a smile) the challenges of dealing, tolerating and helping our fellow Jew. Over the years I have encountered many, and I mean many, good people including strangers who were willing to give a helping hand to a fellow Yid. I have countless personal stories of kindness but none more heart warming then something I read by Rabbi Paysach Krohn ‘ A Dance for the Ages’, from his book ‘In the Footsteps of the Maggid’ (Mesorah Publishing). Rabbi Krohn who happens to be one of the leading inspirational speakers has compiled some of his stories in this one of many books. This story has really touched me; therefore I would love to share it with you.
‘A Dance for the Ages’
This following story is one of the most remarkable I have ever hear. It was told to me by one of the central characters in the episode, my uncle, Rabbi Yehuda Ackerman, a Stoliner chassid now living in the city of Bnei Brak, Israel. The love and concern for a fellow Jew portrayed here are so genuinely touching that the story inspires all who hear it.
A number of years ago a wealthy in individual came to Israel with his family for a few weeks’ vacation. He was just staying in the famous Central Hotel on Rechov Pines in Jerusalem, and that is where he had most of his meals.
One Friday night, after the seudas Shabbos, the gentlemen was strolling back and forth outside the hotel where he noticed two chassidic boys rushing somewhere. “Where are you boys off to?” he asked, as they sped by.
“We’re on our way to the Stoliner Rebbe’s tish.” (The word “tish,” literally translated as “table,” is a term used for a gathering of chassidim around their Rebbe’s table.) The gentleman thought that it might be interesting to observe a tish and so he asked, as he hurried to catch up with them, “Do you mind if I come along?”
“No, of course not. But you must walk quickly,” they added, “because it is starting soon.” The three of them rushed down Rechov Pines, made a right turn on Rechov Malchei Yisrael, and headed into the tiny streets of Meah Shearim toward the Stoliner shul. The shul was packed with hundreds of people who had already gathered to sing and bask in the Rebbe’s presence. The gentleman now detached himself from the two boys, shouldered his way through the crowd, found some room for himself in the back of the synagogue and stood there unobtrusively observing the scene. My uncle, a fervent Stoliner chassid for decades, had come that week to Jerusalem to be with his Rebbe. He, too, was at the tish and was sitting close to the front. As he looked around the synagogue he searched for faces that were not among the “regulars.” It was then that he noticed the wealthy man in the back. My uncle, aside from being a devout chassid of the Rebbe, is the founder and fundraiser of the Stoliner Yeshivah in Bnei Brak. Before Shabbos the Rebbe had told him that he must not leave Jerusalem before raising twenty-five thousand dollars for the benefit of the yeshivah, because themelamdim (teachers) were owed a great deal of back pay. Therefore, when my uncle saw the wealthy gentleman, he figured that he might be a good man to talk to. Throughout the evening my uncle kept an eye on the man in the back of the shul. When he realized that the tish was about to end, he made his way towards him. My uncle, a jovial and robust individual, extended his hand and, with the broadest of smiles, said, “Gut Shabbos, Reb Yid. Welcome to Stolin. I believe I recognize you.”
My uncle knew quite well that this man had a reputation of being a philanthropist who supported many Jewish causes. He was hoping he could get him involved with his own cause.
The man looked at my uncle and replied, “Gut Shabbos. I believe I recognize you too.”
The two men spoke for a while and then my uncle asked, “Where are you staying, and how long will you be here in town?”
I’m staying at the Central and I’m leaving on Tuesday,” came the reply.
“May I bring some of my friends to you tomorrow night at the central, and we will make a little Melaveh Malkah (festive meal held Saturday night)? We’ll sing a little, dance a little, tell some stories, have some good food. It will be beautiful.”
The philanthropist understood quite well what my uncle’s intention was, but still he smiled and said, “Fine. Come with your friends tomorrow night.”
The next evening, a little while after Shabbos ended, my uncle and three of his friends went to the Central Hotel and up to the gentleman’s room. They knocked on the door and waited, pacing back and forth as they worried that perhaps the gentleman had forgotten about the Melaveh Malkah or that something else had came up. After a few moments, however, the gentleman came to the door and invited them in.
For more than two hours they sang, told stories and relished the ambience of the evening. Finally the gentleman turned to my uncle and said, “Ackerman, what do you want from me? I know you didn’t just come here to sing and dance.”
My uncle smiled sheepishly and said, “You know something? You are so right. I didn’t just come to sing and dance. I came for a very important reason.” He then went on to explain the financial plight of the Stoliner Yeshivah and how, because of the economic hardships in Israel, the yeshivah was almost totally dependent on support from friends in America. “I need your help,” my uncle said seriously. “The Rebbe told me that I must raise twenty-five thousand dollars.”
Everyone in the room was quiet. The gentleman was deep in thought, his eyes closed as he reflected on the words my uncle had just spoken. “I’ll tell you what, Ackerman,” he said. “I’ll give you a donation now, and if you raise ten thousand dollars by tomorrow night, I will match it and give you another ten!”
My uncle and his friends could not believe their ears. It had never occurred to them that the gentleman would make such a gracious offer. They shook hands on the “deal” and a few moments later my uncle left the hotel to begin his efforts to raise the ten thousand dollars.
For much of the night and all of the next day my uncle ran from person to person, telling them that he had a golden opportunity to relieve Stoliner Yeshivah of a good deal of its financial burden if only they would help him. He collected cash, personal checks, money orders and traveler’s checks. He hardly rested for a moment, and by Sunday evening he was close to his goal.
Late Sunday night he made his way to the Central Hotel, went directly to the gentleman’s room and began piling all the money he raised on the table. They counted it, and sure enough – my uncle had met the goal! He had raised ten thousand dollars! The philanthropist promptly took out his checkbook and wrote a check to the Stoliner Yeshivah for ten thousand dollars. My uncle simply could not believe what was happening. For the first time in many years he was speechless.
As he began to thank the gentleman profusely for what he had just done, the gentleman said, “Aren’t you wondering why I did this?”
“Wondering?” my uncle blurted out. “To me this is a miracle. It’s like man min hashamayim (the food that fell miraculously from Heaven for the Jews in the desert.)”
“Sit down,” the gentleman said. “Let me tell you a story and then you will understand.” ********************************** “It was twenty-five years ago.” The gentleman began, “on the afternoon of my wedding day. I was so poor that my parents could not even afford to buy me a hat to wear to my chuppah. I lived in Williamsburg (an Orthdox neighborhood in Brooklyn, New York) at the time, so I walked to Broadway where there was a famous Jewish hat store. I went in and told the owner, “I’m getting married tonight, but my parents are poverty stricken and can’t afford to buy me a hat. Could you please do me a favor and give me a hat? I promise you that tomorrow morning I will come in and pay you with some of the money that I hope to get tonight as wedding presents.”
“The man behind the counter looked me over and then answered, ‘You look like an honest yeshivah bachur (student). I’ll give you the hat.’
“I was so happy and grateful to him, “continued the gentleman. “I walked outside and a few stores down was a liquor store, also owned by a Jewish man. I knew very well that my parents couldn’t afford any liquor for the wedding, so I went in and said to the man behind the counter, ‘I’m getting married tonight and my parents do not have money to buy any liquor. Would you be so kind as to give me a few bottles for the wedding? I promise that tomorrow morning I will come in and pay you from the money that I hope to get as wedding gifts.’
Here, too, the man looked me over and said the same thing the fellow in the hat store has said. ‘You look like an honest yeshivah bachur, I’ll give you the liquor.’
“He gave me the liquor and I walked out of the store with the hat in my right hand and the liquor in my left. I felt like a million dollars. I was ecstatic. I took just a few steps outside the store and there you were, Mr. Ackerman.
[My uncle, R’ Yehuda Ackerman, was known at the time as the most extraordinary dancer at Jewish weddings. Whenever he made his way into the middle of the circle where everyone was dancing, He became the focal point of frolic around which everything centered. Everyone in the hall would stop whatever they were doing just to watch him perform for the chassan and kallah. His body movements were elegant; his balancing acts; entertaining; his radiant smile ebullient, and his body’s comical coordination with the music the band was playing was incredible and legendary. Somehow he managed to become the physical embodiment of the musical notes emanating from the violin, clarinet and cordovox, which were popular at the time.]
“I saw,” the gentleman said, “that Hashem was so good to me in helping me get the hat and the liquor, so I figured that I would take my chances just one more time. I walked over to you and said, ‘Mr. Ackerman, I know you don’t know who I am, but I am getting married tonight. Would you mind coming to dance at my wedding?’
“You said that you couldn’t promise anything, but you took down my name and the name and address of the wedding hall. And that night, right in the middle of the wedding, you came running into the center of the circle where everyone was dancing and you danced so magnificently. The people loved it! You made everyone so happy and you helped make it the greatest night of my life. When it was over that evening, I swore to myself that someday I would repay you.”
Now, transversing all the years in between, the gentleman concluded. “Last night, when I saw you at the Stoliner Rebbe’s tish, I suddenly remembered what I had said to myself back then on my wedding night. I realized that now was the time to pay you back. That’s why I gave you the money.”
My uncle sat there astounded. He hasn’t remembered the wedding. He hadn’t remembered the wedding from so long ago, but he would never forget this Shabbos night in Jerusalem.
The story, however, did not end there. The next time my uncle was in the city where this generous gentleman lived, he heard that the man’s son was getting married. He waited until the middle of the wedding and then as he had done so many years earlier, he ran into the center of the circle where everyone was dancing, and he danced as he had, all those years before.
And as he did, he turned and saw the gentleman standing off on the side with a great smile across his face, and tears rolling down his cheeks. He ran over to the man and, as they embraced, the man said to my uncle, “How can I ever thank you? You’ve made me relive the greatest night of my life.”
The Gemara (Yoma 9b) teaches that the Second Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of sinas chinam, uncalled-for and unreasonable hatred. Here, though, was an instance of poignant ahavas chinam, a talented individual dancing at the wedding of a young man whom he didn’t even know and never thought he would see again only because there was love…love of one Jew for another with no motive or incentive other than that they were both Jewish. May we all learn from this incredible story and merit together to see the building of the Third Beis HaMikdash.
Reproduced from “Footsteps of the Maggid,” by Rabbi Paysach Krohn, with permission of the copyright holders, ArtScroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd. |
Laws About Birkat Hamazon
The sages asserted that one who is careful to recite birkat hamazon, will, for the rest of his life receive his sustenance with honor. In this week’s Parasha (Eikev 8:10), it states, ‘And you shall eat, and you shall be satiated, and you shall make a bracha to G-d for the good land which he gave to you’. In the commandment to say birkat hamazon, the Torah makes reference to three things; food (eat), land, and good (tov). From this we learn that this blessing must incorporate acknowledgement of food, the land of Israel and Jerusalem. Thus the obligation to recite the themes contained in the first three brachot is a Torah law (Mede’orisa). The fourth bracha was enacted by the Rabbis (please refer to the first article for an explanation of the first bracha). When the Jews entered Israel, Yehoshua, their leader, instituted the second bracha (nodeh), acknowledging G-d for giving us the land. The Israelites left Egypt and spent forty years in the desert. During that time, they received the Torah and slowly formed a nation. Although Moshe wasn’t able to enter, it was Yehoshua who led them to the Promised Land. The third blessing was instituted by King David when Jerusalem was consecrated as the Holy City. King Solomon added an acknowledgement for the temple when the construction was complete. After the destruction of the first temple, the text was modified to include a plea for the return of Jerusalem and the Temple. This became form of our third bracha, rachem. The Torah connects eating bread to making a birkat hamazon; therefore giving us the positive commandment to say the blessing after eating bread. The amount of bread in which a person eats to require the birkat hamazon is a kezayit (literally, olive size, which is equal to a volume of half an egg, A good example would be a half a slice center of rye bread). Birkat hamazon is only required if the kezayit is eaten within three minutes (but there are conditions and pre-conditions). It’s important to note, satiation is the key factor in determining whether birkat hamazon is Mede’orisa (from the Torah) or Mede’rabanan (Rabbinical) (Mede’orisa tends to be stricter). This concern arises when one doesn’t remember whether he said birkat hamazon or not. If he is full at the time of remembering, then he recites it and if not then he does not. The reason is because the pasuk says ve’savata one should be satiated which would make it Mede’orisa. Another note, since birkat hamazon is a Torah obligation, the sages instituted stringent laws with regard to its recital. One of those requirements is to that birkat hamazon should be said in the place where one ate. The Sages define ‘the place where he ate ‘ to mean any place within the room which he ate (a wedding hall is a prime example). |