Archive for August 2013

Making People Laugh is Better Than a Million Dollars

August 2, 2013 Happiness, Power of Laughter No comments

The Chozer of Lublin was one of the greatest of his generation. In fact, many people went to him for Brachot (blessings). They came to him for refuah shelemah (health), to find the right soul mate, better their financial situation and for many other reasons. It seemed he was a sure bet. Whatever the request for a blessing from G-d they asked from him, he would give a bracha and a short time latter it would be fulfilled.

         What was his method to success?
         Every night the Chozer of Lublin would recite the special midnight prayer to G-d and he would curl up, scream, yell and cry like a baby until he felt his prayers were accepted in heaven. Hey – whatever works, right?
         One night while he was waiting for his student, Rav Naftali Rupshitz to come, he felt that his prayers to G-d were not being heard. He wondered.  His routine was the same as any other night and yet now, no one seemed to be listening. So he asked the heavens “what is going on up there”?  “If you want to understand the reason, just look at your student, Rav Naftali Rupshitz” was the heavenly response. Apparently on his way to his Rebbi that night, he stopped at an inn and he noticed there was a wedding celebration. As he walks in to a room of dancing he noticed that the Kallah (bride) was sad. So he approached her and asked: “Why are you sad? This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life”!  She replied “our batchan canceled on us and we have no one to tell jokes.” A batchan -comedian was often used at the time and even today at the weddings of Chassidim to make the bring joy to the new couple.
       Rav Naftali looked at her and replied “I’ll be your batchan.”  He then stood on a table and started telling joke after joke until he got the entire inn’s attention. He had the whole place on their knees as result from his funny jokes. Rav Naftali noticed from the corner of his eye that the Chatan and Kallah were really enjoying his routine. He was indeed hilarious. It seemed like the young couple and the people at the inn were not the only ones to take notice, the angels in heaven also stopped what they were doing to hear Rav Naftali. It was such an impressive and funny performance that even G-d stopped to listen. All the angels closed up shop to hear this Jewish Rabbi make the world laugh. This is the reason your prayers were not heard, everybody was out for the evening enjoying Rav Naftali at the wedding party.
         When Rav Naftali finally arrived at his Rebbe’s house, the Chozer of Lublin said to him “what I do with screaming, wailing and yelling you accomplish with laughter!”
         We mentioned in the preceding Dvar Torah on the Parshat Korach, how comedy is can be very dangerous. In fact, it is a two edged sword. As such, it is only fitting that we also see the benefits as well. How important it is to make people laugh in a positive sense and to cheer them up when they are down and depressed. Moreover, it’s a big mitzvah (commandment) to make a bride and groom happy. The rewards are tremendous. We realize from this story, it is indeed priceless!!

The Two Sides of Laughter

August 2, 2013 Power of Laughter, Your Health No comments

 

Nursery can be a challenge for many. It is, after all, a first time experience. Once, in a nursery in Israel, two boys got into a fight. The Ganenet- nursery teacher, quickly separated the two, holding one with one hand and holding the other with her other hand. The teacher proclaimed with an authoritative shout “where do you boys think you’re at, the Knesset?!” (Israeli congress).  Apparently, the Israeli members of the Knesset are famously known for their bickering during their legislative sessions. Although it is a knock on the government, it was quite humorous. (Paraphrased from an article in the New York Times)

Knock on the government?! That sounds familiar, we do it all the time in this country. Why not?!  We’re living in a democracy. Isn’t it beautiful?! Here we have the gift of “freedom of speech”. We can use humor to practice this wonderful ability. WE LAUGH OUT LOUD. This is our freedom of expression.
   Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. Children untill age seven laugh approximately 300 times a day. Us boring grown ups laugh only, at most, 10 times a day.
Laughter is good for your health
  • Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
  • Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
  • Laughter triggers the release of endorphin, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphin promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
  • Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems
Jews historically have always used humor. It was and still is an integral part of our culture. Where ever we go there will always be our beloved comedians. Jewish humor will never die.

 Why?  Because we are the wandering Jews. It’s tough being an immigrant and the difficulty adjusting to a new life can be very challenging and many times lead to depression. Using humor makes light of one’s own plight. The immigrants make fun of their host country’s customs and way of life. Their insecurities are shared by their own countryman in a humorous way. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hope, connects you to others.

 

Humor is a tool
Ravah, a famous scholar in the times of the Talmud, would always start off a shiur -lecture with a joke. He said, and I paraphrase, “it puts people in a relaxed mode causing them to be more receptive”.
Jewish existence would not have been possible without laughter. Our sages mention the pride and joy of the Kiyor- lavorwhich the Kohanim would use to wash their hands in the Tabernacle. It was made out of the mirrors that were contributed by our righteous mothers who beautified themselves in order that our fathers, who would come home from being persecuted and overworked, they would find their wives attractive and have relations with them in order to have children.
 The Sages tell us that the wives would playfully make the husbands look in the mirror and say “who looks, worse me or you”. They would make light and find humor in a morbid situation. The humor and laughter between them would draw them closer to each other and bond them as husband and wife.

Like everything else in life, laughter, though a strong therapeutic and vital tool, can be also destructive.

 When “the barrel of the gun”, the humor, is aimed at you, it’s not so funny anymore. It belittles people who are being laughed at. A practical joke can be cruel and hurtful. The response and defense of a person initiating the practical joke is often “ah he’s too sensitive, he can’t take a joke”.
 HUMOR CAN BE A DESTRUCTIVE WEAPON. It defuses any authority. The late night talk shows grill politicians on their nightly opening stand up comedy routine.
 The only politician, in the last fifty plus  years, who not only withstood but enhanced his status through humor was John F Kennedy.  He had a sharp and clever wit which he mastered and displayed at the Presidential press conferences.
 There have been many Presidents who were left for dead by comedians. One such example was Gerald Ford. Being the butt of all the jokes cost him dearly in his bid for reelection. Ford, a high school football star who later was offered to play professional football for the Detroit Lions and the Green Bay Packers, was made fun of and was “portrayed” as a bumbling, absent-minded, clumsy fool, by comedian Chevy Chase on Saturday Night Live.  The skit made such an impression and implanted the image of Ford tripping where ever he went, that people actually believed him to be like that.
   Humor was the lethal weapon Korach used. In this week’s Parsha. Korach who felt slighted by Moshe, the leader of the Jewish people, for not being appointed a higher position, rebelled against the hierarchy. He successfully used humor to soften and minimize Moshe’s authority.
 Korach took aim at Moshe’s ruling on Tzitzit. One blue string of TECHELET is required to be included un the knots along with the other white strings.  After Moshe taught the people the laws of Tzitzit (Bamidbar 15: 38-41) Korach delightfully inquired “if the garment is entirely of Techelet (sky blue wool) is it exempt from putting a thread of techelet on the fringes or does the obligation remain?” Replied Moshe, “still one must attach techelet”.  Said Korach, “a garment that is entirely techelet is not exempt, yet 4 threads of techelet exempt the entire garment”. Then Korach asked, “if a house is filled with Torah scrolls, is it exempt from a Mezuza?” “It  nonetheless requires a Mezuza” replied Moshe. Said Korach, “the entire Torah which contains 275 weekly portions does not exempt a house, yet the one portion of the Mezuza does? Surely these highly irrational things were not commanded by G-d, but rather you must’ve invented them yourself”.
Korach cleverly presented these ideas with humor, which defused the message and law of Tzitzit, and for that matter, weakened Moshe as a leader. Korach’s delivery, an essential part of a comedians success, was masterfully on the mark.

 

  Making light of the Israeli Knesset by insinuating that they constantly fight, lowers their stature and diffuses their power. One might think that it’s a harmless remark said merely in jest. However, a statement with a little humorous jab has a more lasting and powerful effect that one would give credit for.

 

There is a famous Psalm, namely shir hama’alot, which many recite before bircat hamazon-grace after meal. In the psalm it says “AZ YEMALEH SECHOK PEENU”- then are mouths will be filled with laughter. There is a beautiful insight into the meaning of the phrase and a deeper understanding of laughter.
 “Then” is referring to when the MASHIACH will arrive. We are saving the best for last. It is referring to that great feeling, the ultimate knee slapper when one laughs till it hurts. If one notices, when one laughs really hard, he begins to tear. Ever wonder why?
 Life is not so easy, as one realizes. One has many things to accomplish and rectify in this difficult world. A world which witnessed much destruction:    the destruction of our Temple, Adam’s sin, the golden calf, the Holocaust etc. Nevertheless we are allowed to laugh. And sometimes we can laugh out loud!!. However, the laughter sensation is limited. After reaching a certain point in the height of the laughter, it automatically switches to tears. Our soul is sending us a message. It’s a reminder to us that it is not the ultimate AZ YEMALEH SECHOK laughter; we still have to accomplish and tackle life’s obstacles and there is still the destruction that we have to fix. There is still life to live.
 However one day, as we say in the psalm, we will laugh out loud with no interruption, no tears, rather a full laugh and feel the ultimate joy. Amen

This (as well as last weeks) article was written with the consultation of Dr. Robert Goldman Psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim and Rabbi Yossi Bilus. Special thanks to Esther Matmon.

Your Actions May Come Back to Haunt You

August 1, 2013 Responsibility No comments
   

           Don’t we all hate when we hear “I told you so.” It seems like before we take action, we have to think twice, for the same stick we kick tends to boomerang back and hit us in the head.

 

There is a very interesting and famous story that happened to one of the greatest kings of Israel, Shaul. The Gemara describes Shaul as a tragic figure. This was a person who didn’t want the kingdom because of his modesty. One may question his decisions during his reign; however, who are we to judge? We have to ask ourselves would anybody else have been able to handle the events and the curve balls differently.

We read in this week’s Parsha, one must exile the Ca’anites, the inhabitants of the land of Israel because they would make bad neighbors. This message is repeated constantly in the previous parshiot. The Canaanim were steeped in many heathen practices in which the Jews were commanded to destroy and to stay away. One of their practices involved Necromancy – bringing up a dead person through evil powers, whose voice seems to emulate from the necromancer’s armpits or other parts of the body. Although authentic, however, it was done through the negative forces.
King Shaul removed all Ov and Yidoni – magicians – from the land, since the Torah forbids one to consult them. In the third year of his reign, a very large army of Pelishtim gathered against the Jews. Shaul was very unsure how to proceed. Had his teacher, the Prophet, Shmuel, been alive, he would have almost certainly seeked his advice. Unable to consult the Kohanim who would have used the urim vatumim (the letters of the high priest’s breastplate that conveyed divine answers), Shaul was ashamed of having exterminated Nov, a city of Kohanim, who sheltered his nemesis, David and his army. Therefore he had to resort to other measures. “Do you know whether any medium remains in the land who can conjure up the dead with the rite of Ov?” he asked. Apparently, Shaul was desperate. He resembled a king who ordered all cocks and hens in his kingdom slaughtered and later demands, “Is there a rooster to wake me up in the morning?” Nevertheless, they revealed that such a woman exists in a place called Ain Dor. In disguise, Shaul went to her and asked her to conjure up a spirit for him; she refused. She was afraid such a deed might be reported to the king. However, Shaul assured her everything will be okay and persuaded her to do as he says. “Bring me Shmuel, the master of the prophets.” The woman practiced the usual rights. She burned incense and pronounced certain incantations and WALLA – Shmuel the Prophet appeared! However, something unusual about the apparition caused her to scream. A spirit that was raised by an Ov – sorcerer with the power of evil – would appear upside down, since the nature of its return contradicts the way of G-d’s holy creation. For a king, though, the dead would appear standing on his feet. Therefore, Shmuel appeared in his proper position in honor of Shaul. She then realized who her client was. Shaul was unable to see the apparition, although he heard its voice, it was visible to the Ov – sorcerer – alone.
Shmuel now spoke to Shaul and revealed the future to him. Although he seemed agitated as to why he roused him, where Shaul apologized. Shmuel prophesized “G-d has departed from you. The time will come when He is fulfilling his word to tear down the kingdom from you and to give it to David. He is punishing you for disobeying His commandment to eradicate Amalek.” Shmuel continues, “G-d will deliver the Jewish army into the hands of the Pelishtim and you and your sons will die. However, you’re going into battle despite the knowledge you will fall, will atone for you having destroyed Nov. You will enter a compartment of Gan Eden.”
Seized with fear of this revelation. Shaul regained his composure a bit later and told no one of the prophecy. It takes courage to go to war knowing, very well, that one will soon die.
Shmuel’s Prophecy was fulfilled; the Jews were defeated and Shaul and his three sons perished in battle.

Around the Shabbat Table- Parshat Shoftim

August 1, 2013 Kid's Section No comments

 

 

 

By Rabbi Gedalia Fogel

 

Hi! This is Rebbe speaking.

The month of Elul is designated for Teshuva, repentance. This month is the month that leads up to Rosh Hashana, the New Year. We repent and prepare for the day of Judgement.

 

A king spent his days in the grand palace. All those that wished to speak to the king had to set up an appointment. Speak to the guards. Be escorted to the kings chamber and was allowed a few minutes to say his request. One day the king went to the town of his subjects and allowed anyone to ask for what they need. There were no restrictions. It was a much simpler task to ask the king for his mercy or one’s personal request.

 

All year we pray to Hashem and daven for what we need and for Hashem’s mercy. All year round Hashem lives in his palace. We can ask but with some difficulty. The month of Elul is a special time when Hashem steps out of his palace to live near us. There are no barriers. One can ask, so to speak, face to face and ask for His mercy and forgiveness.

We blow the Shofar, (the horn of a ram) each day after Shacharit (morning prayers) in the month of Elul. The sounds of the Shofar are Tekiyah – one long blow, Shevarim – three short blows and Teruah, many small broken sounds.

The holy Shelah Hakadosh states that Tekiah, the one long blow, symbolizes a child that is newly born, one that does not have any sins. Shevarim, the three short blows, symbolize one who has done just a few sins, and Teruah, a series of little blows are symbolic to someone who has many sins. When we blow the Shofar we start with Tekiah and end with Tekiah. This shows that one can always repent. No matter how many sins he has committed, there is always room for repentance. Teruah also symbolizes a broken heart.

Anyone can do Teshuva. We must feel bad about the sin, admit that you did the sin and promise not to do it again.

Yossele, a lad of 16, was known as the wild one. He would never complete a full day at school. He would come in the morning and before noon usually was nowhere to be found. But the results of his actions would ripple through the town of Slutzk. Even the short time he did spend with his peers was full of mischief. He was bad influence on anyone who he came in contact with.

The children were frightened of Yossele and so were many adults. One never knew what tricks were up his sleeves, what new pranks he was preparing.

One Tuesday evening, Yossele passed the home of Menashe a fine learned 12-year-old. The words he heard changed his life. He overheard Menashe’s irate mother berating her son. “Menashe how could you do such a thing? Is this how I brought you up? Menashe would you like to grow up to be a good-for-nothing like that wild one, Yossele?

“Am I the epitome of the worst? Is this what the townsfolk are warning their children about? How can I have fallen so low? What will become of me? Can I ever repent?” Yossele cried and cried. He fled from the window determine to change his ways. He felt terrible about the sins he committed. He reviewed all the sins that he remembered doing. And then he begged Hashem for forgiveness.

His Teshuva was accepted and Yossele went to a famous out-of-town Yeshiva where they did not know him and he was able to start anew. Yossele grew up to be a great Rabbi.

There is another fascinating story told.

Rachamim a sinner, came to the holy Baal Shem Tov and pleaded for a way to repent. The Baal Shem Tov answered “You most definitely can repent. There is no one that cannot do Teshuva.” Rachamim said, “But you don’t realize how many graves sins I have committed.” The Baal Shem Tov said, “You must spend your days in the synagogue and return home only for Shabbat.” “Very well. But how will I knew if and when my Teshuva was accepted and I no longer have to spend my days away from home.” “When Eliyahu Hanavi will come learn with you.” answered the Baal Shem Tov.

Rachamim spent his days in the synagogue, learning Torah and praying for full forgiveness for his sins. He returned home only for Shabbat. This went on for many years.

One Friday after all the rest of the congregants finished their evening Shabbat prayers, Rachamim was still praying in his corner seat of the synagogue. He was engrossed in his prayers and did not notice that the caretaker of the synagogue had locked up. What was he to do. No one was around it was useless to scream. Rachamim sat himself back down and a took out a Tehillim. He recited page after page and exhausted fell into a deep slumber.

Eliyahu Hanavi came to Rachamim in a dream. “I have informed the caretaker and he will return shortly and reopen the doors. And one more thing, I would like to set up a learning schedule with you.”

Rachamim awoke to the sound of a key in the lock. “I’m so sorry. I came back here to since I was unsure if I locked up today. Good thing I did. Who would have thought that indeed I locked it and not only that but I locked someone in?”

Rachamim returned to his home for the remainder of Shabbat and when he returned to the synagogue he really had the merit to learn with Eliyahu Hanavi. He then knew that he reached full repentance.

One can reach great heights after one repents. Sometimes a person who has done Teshuva can be greater than a Tzaddik, a righteous person.

Hitting the Rock

August 1, 2013 The Gift of Speech No comments
 

The children of Israel screamed out, ‘We want water! We want water!’ Where thereafter, Moshe took the stick and hit the rock resulting in water streaming out. ‘Why did you hit the rock?’ G-d asked disappointingly. The Sages were unclear what exactly was G-d’s commandment to Moshe, the leader of the Jewish people. Was Moshe commanded to speak to the rock whereby instead he hit it? Or the fact that G d instructed Moshe to take his stick, presumably, indicates He may have wanted him to hit it. This is the question in which Rav Henoch Leibowitz z’l of Yeshiva Chafetz Chaim presents. Was the commandment to ‘speak’ or ‘hit’ the rock?

  We know Moshe was punished for this incident and was prohibited to enter the land of Israel – something that he desired greatly. Despite praying and pleading with G-d before he died, his quest to pilgrimage with the rest of the Jewish people to Israel was denied. The answer to this question is both. Moshe was commanded to speak to the Israelites first, in front of the rock, and to announce G-d’s great miracle in a thunderous way. It will take place through His trusted servant who will perform the task by hitting it. However, Moshe and Aharon merely said, ‘Listen up; we will now draw water from the rock by hitting it’. Moshe and Aharon had to be clearer and emphasize the wondrous hand of G-d, that this was a momentous moment. Therefore because they weren’t clear, G-d rebuked them, stating ‘you did not believe in me.’ But isn’t it clear and pretty obvious that G-d commanded Moshe. The Israelites knew Moshe was His faithful servant and every breath, every step , which was taken, was done with G-d’s signature. I mean -really – it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out G-d is pushing the controls.
Perhaps the Torah is trying to teach us an important lesson about ourselves. Man has a much higher impression and a stronger feeling when the information he receives is straightforward and clear (stating G-D DID IT!). However, if the message is trickled down by hints, it doesn’t have the same effect; it’s not impactful. Therefore, when G-d said ‘you are not believers in enhancing my ambiance in the eyes of the children of Israel’. By Moshe and Aharon not elaborating their action, they caused a decreased spiritual force in the world. The result of the ‘hint’ weakened the impression that it was G-d who made the water come out from the rock. G-d gave us the gift of speech; something animals lack, and it’s our obligation to express ourselves properly. We all heard of the expression ‘words penetrate the heart’. The sages say there is no comparison between hearing, which has a stronger effect than seeing. G-d set the stage for Moshe to infuse his awareness upon the Israelites; he had to articulate with his speech what G-d planned to do. Think of it as an announcer describing an exciting baseball game. The announcer has to be gifted in describing the game and keeping the fans, tuned in and interested. I have an aunt living in Israel who would always talk very positively about the land and the Jewish people. Every time we come across a positive experience, she would comment, ‘You see, you don’t need to go to America. You have America here.’ She would verbally describe every experience and make it seem adventurously fun. My aunt has a gifted knack to use her words to the fullest ….. Unfortunately, Moshe missed that precious opportunity. We have to learn from this incident that G-d bestowed upon man the precious gift of speech and it’s our responsibility to utilize it to the best of our ability.

Honoring Parents

August 1, 2013 Kibud Av/ Honoring Parents No comments

 

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, “I’m really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I’m worried sick!”

 The other kid says, “What have you got to worry about?  Sounds to me like you’ve got it made!”
Responds the first kid, “What if they try to escape?”
Any guy will confess (I actually took a survey) that the best years of his life when he was “still living at home”. No responsibility, being catered to and not having to worry about making a living is the way to go!! After all, it’s your own nest.
It seems like we really are dependent on our parents when we’re young. There is an old saying “one parent can take care of 10 kids however 10 kids can not take care of one parent.”
It’s very hard to fulfill the commandment of honoring one’s parents, especially when they’re old and cranky. Especially when one has the pressure of raising young children, a demanding wife and bills mounting endlessly. Many of us take pride in honoring parents, however, on occasion our patience is tested.
 Once, a son took his frustrations to an extreme.
 After his mother’s passing, the son moved the father in with him. He BaruchHashem had a growing family. The father had some medical issues, but the son with the right care took care of it. But juggling both family, work and an elderly father, who seemed like was blessed with longevity, became too challenging over the years. The loyal son became very impatient. Medical insurance was not covering all of the old man’s expenses. No matter how prosperous and modern thinking this country can be, it seems like it’s not prepared for the elderly. The son found himself behind the eight ball, in debt.
 Pressure makes a person think irrationally. He decided to take some time off. As a child, the father would always take him camping. The stressed out son decided to take his father for a ride to the mountains. Rest and relaxation is therapeutic sometimes. The road was extremely and dangerously narrow and he had to drive carefully. As he was reaching his destination, an impulsive, horrifying idea surfaced.  The son thought, “here is my opportunity” as they were camped at the edge of the mountain. Still he decided to see his father’s face one last time before he commits his act of desperation. He was taken aback seeing his father with a smile. Knowing that his father was a very smart man, he curiously asked, “Pop, why are you smiling?” The father answered back, “I did the same thing to my father”.
 The son felt a cold chill as he realized that how one treats one’s parent is how he will be treated. Quickly, he took he father out of danger.
The reward:
“You will have longevity” means your children will follow in your ways. They will be an extension of you. This is what every parent wants, for their offspring to be “a chip of the old block” . One long life translates into two generations of you.
In this week’s Parsha, Chukat, we learn a valuable lesson of how to perform the mitzvot- commandments for chukim, or, laws that have no rhyme or reason. We might think we know what the purpose of a certain commandment is, however, we cannot fully comprehend the magnitude of the action of the mitzvah; it’s not for us to understand, we just have to do it. The most famous example of a chok is the red cow. One has to approach a chok with the same enthusiasm as he does with the mitzvot that make logical sense, like mishpatim-logical laws.
However, we often think that we have a good understanding of certain basic logical mitzvot. This dangerously leads us to decisions of when and to what degree must we observe certain mitzvot in certain situations.
All commandments originate directly from Heaven, and man’s intellect cannot fathom the reasoning behind them. Yet, because he still tries to interpret the Torah through logic, the Torah is sometimes undermined. For example, if a rational reason for a mitzvah no longer applies, one will argue that it makes the commandment inapplicable.
 “Honor your father and your mother” is a classic example. It may come as a surprise, but truthfully “honor your father and your mother” in some cases doesn’t make sense.
 We learn that if one strikes his father or mother, he receives the death penalty. This law even applies to children who are estranged to their parents. Even though the parent was not active in raising the child, and in fact was detrimental to the progression of him/her, nevertheless, the child would still be liable with the strict punishment of death…… Why?!
It would make sense for such a harsh punishment to be administered if the parent raised the child, if the parent gave their heart and soul (which they are supposed to do), then the severe punishment is appropriate.
Logically, one might think an irresponsible parent would be an exception to the harsh punishment. Furthermore, Rabbi Oelbaum who quoted the Chayei Adam, strengthens the emotional aspect of the commandment saying “ONE DOESN’T FULFILL THE MITZVAH OF HONORING THEIR PARENT BY JUST CATERING TO THEIR  WISHES (LIKE BRINGING THEM TEA OR TAKING THEM TO DOCTORS. In order to fulfill the requirement, ONE HAS TO FIND IN THEM SOMETHING TO RESPECT, A POSITIVE TRAIT PERHAPS. THAT’S RIGHT, SOMETHING TO RESPECT WHICH DEFINES WHO THEY ARE…….THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL THE CHILDREN FULFILL THE COMMANDMENT OF  KABED ET AVICHA VEH ET IMECHA. In some cases, finding something good about a person is a difficult task. Nevertheless, that’s the requirement. KABED-respect- means to seek something that deserves just that.
However, fulfilling the commandment is applicable for ANY PARENT, whether deadbeat or not!! Seemingly, the commandment is wishy washy, there is seemingly no logic to the ruling!!!
G-d therefore gave us certain commandments (the red cow) which all would agree lack rational explanation. From these we may derive that the entire Torah must be treated with Divine status, even if we don’t understand the raionale.
There is a unique severity to the punishment of chok. We actually see this from last week’s parsha, Korach. Korach, who sought honor, complained “we all were at Mount Sinai, why is Aharon, your brother, the only High Priest. Let there be a monthly rotation”. This complaint was against G-d’s decree. When G-d created the sun and the moon, they were both the same size. The moon complained “how can two kings wear the same crown”. G-d punished the moon for complaining by making it smaller. The Talmud tells us a story about an Arab who once approached a Jewish sage and asked him to come with him, “I have to show you something” the Arab said. He then showed him a place in the dessert, a spot in the ground where smoke was coming out. Every 30 days one can here voices coming out proclaiming “Moshe and his Torah is the truth and we, Korach’s assembly, were wrong”. Interstingly, every 30 days, correlating with Korach’s complaint, the moon, which decreases in size, is at its smallest.Where would we be without our parents? They raised us and made us who we are. We were insensitive. We kept them up late by forgetting to call; they were worried for us. They grew a lot of gray hair worrying for their kids. BUT DON’T YOU HATE IT WHEN THEY MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY!!One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out of her brunette head. She looked at her mother and asked, “why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white”. The little girl thought about this for a while and then said, “Mommy, how come ALL of Grandma’s hairs are white?”
One can arrive at many logical conclusions as to why we perform certain mitzvot. However, at the end of the day, one has to believe and perform the mitzvot wholeheartedly,  regardless if it makes sense to him or not. This is a most difficult thing to do. Nevertheless, we have to remind ourselves that Judaism is a belief and belief comes from the heart.
Extracted from Rabbis Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt , Yossi Bilus, Yitzchak Aminov Shli”ta.

Are You a Good Host?

August 1, 2013 Hachnasat Orchim- Inviting Guests, Jewish Values No comments

 

   

 

A ritual is performed by the unlucky elders of the city, after an unidentified dead body was found on their side of the border. They measure which city is the body closest too.  They then, kill a calf; this is followed by as many as a hundred members from the city who witnessed the ritual wash their hands and proclaim, “Our hands have not shed this blood and our eyes have not seen the deed.”

 

But why are the townspeople to blame?

 

One of the mainstream commentaries, Rashi, says that perhaps the host where he stayed did not give him food to eat or was not MELAVEH – escort him – outside. Although one can argue the host was stingy, not giving him food to eat, or lazy to give kavod by escorting, nevertheless, the townspeople can argue, “We didn’t kill him. Why are we responsible?” Rabbi Baruch Dopelt says we really can answer it through just plain old logic and say, well, if he would have been fed properly, perhaps he would have had the energy to fight off his attacker; food can have a wondrous effect. That solves the food issue, however, what about the MELAVEH – escorting someone. What benefit is there, or what would the deceased have gained by the host walking him four steps?

 

One should also take note, funeral in Hebrew is LEVAYA, which is the same root as MELAVEH. We are escorting the dead to his last resting place. At the funeral, there are many important rituals. Why is LEVAYA the title that is used for the funeral and not HESPED – eulogy? We know it’s quite important to say nice words about the dead.

 

We observe something interesting from our mother Leah, who was not Yaacov’s favorite wife. She always prayed that her husband should find favor with her. When Levi was born she said, “Now my husband will escort me (ve’liva). The word LIVA means to connect, attachment. She was saying we will walk and we’ll connect. When someone walks together, each person is connected to the other and each inherit the other’s KOACH – strength. Apparently, it’s a big mitzvah to host. The owner does kindness, and when he walks the guest out four steps, the guest inherits that positive energy of the host’s merit of kindness. So the host feels good; he feels self-confident. The guest is going to leave and be protected with your strength.

 

This concept also works the other way. Pharaoh was very clever; when the Jews left Egypt, the scripture says he escorted them. Pharaoh had negative powers. He intentionally wanted to attach to the Jews to his evil, so later they will be prone to sin.

At a funeral, the reason why many people escort the dead is they want to attach as much merits to the dead, so the deceased could go up and be judged in favor.

 

If a guest leaves your house and you escort him, your merits will be attached to him and it will give him strength. He will be protected from any dangers that lies ahead. This is the host’s last act of kindness, the finishing touch that he can do to his guest.

 

Around the Shabbat Table- Parsht Ki Teitzei

August 1, 2013 Kid's Section No comments

 

 

By Rabbi Gedalia Fogel

 

 

Hi! This is Rebbe speaking.

 

Where has the summer gone? I’m sure all you children enjoyed your summer vacation and are well-rested and ready to start a fresh new school year.

 

This week’s parsha, Parshas Ki Seitzei, speaks about the laws that apply to going out to fight a war.

 

Every day, every minute, each and every one of us fights a battle. We go to war all the time.

 

Who knows what type of war? How can it be?

 

We fight against the Yetzer Hara, the Evil Inclination. The Yetzer Hara does not give up, each and every minute the Evil Inclination tries again to get us to do an Aveirah, a bad thing. He has all different ways that he uses to try to trick us into following what he says.

 

But we are strong enough to fight against the Yetzer Hara. Each of you has the power to fight against the Evil Inclination and WIN!!

 

Someone came to the great Rabbi, the Shpola Zeide and asked for advice on how to fight the Evil Inclination. The Shpola Zeide related the following:

 

The Yetzer Hara decided that he would pay a visit to the, Avot, (Patriarchs) Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov.

 

First he went to Avraham Avinu. He came well-prepared with all sorts of weapons ready to fight his battle. Knock, knock!! “Please come in. Have a seat I’ll be with you in just a moment.” Avraham Avinu quickly prepared a huge meal and started to serve the Yetzer Hara one course after the other.

 

The Yetzer Hara was so busy eating that when his time was up, he realized that he had wasted his time eating and did not accomplish what he had come for.

 

Before the Evil Inclination set out to go to Yitzchak Avinu, he made sure to eat a meal. He was quite stuffed when he showed up a Yitzchak Avinu’s home. Knock, knock!! “It’s you!! You’d better find yourself someone else to start up with. I will not allow you to enter my home.” Yitzchak Avinu came with all his weapons and might to fight against the Yetzer Hara. It did not take long for him to win over the Evil Inclination, since the Yetzer Hara did not come with his weapons. He assumed he did not need them since he did not use them when he went to Avraham Avinu.

 

Before the Yetzer Hara went to Yaakov Avinu, he made sure to have eaten a good meal and this time he was sure to come with all his weapons too.

 

Knock, knock!! Knock, knock!! KNOCK KNOCK!! “Is Yaakov Avinu home? I will look into his window… He sure is home! I see him sitting at his table reading a book.” KNOCK, KNOCK!! The Yetzer Hara kept on banging on the door, but Yaakov Avinu did not even look up from his Sefer. He was learning so diligently that he was oblivious to the knocking. Seeing that he was not getting anywhere with Yaakov Avinu he went on his way.

 

“We must always try new ways to fight the Yetzer Hara.” concluded the Shpola Zeide.

 

There is no right or wrong way to fight against the Yetzer Hara. Every one of you can come up with a plan, a strategy of your own, that you will use to fight against the Evil Inclination.

 

We must realize that often the Yetzer Hara tells us to do an Aveirah by convincing us that it’s really a Mitzvah. We must not listen to him and we must follow our Yetzer Tov, Good Inclination, and do what’s right.

 

The Yetzer Hara is compared to someone who walks around with a closed fist and announces “Guess what I have in my hand? You’ll never believe what I’m holding?” With these words he gets everyone excited and has everyone’s attention. But really he has nothing in his hand. He is just tricking everyone. The Yetzer Hara entices people to do the wrong thing but covering it up and making it good, but really it’s just one of his tricks.

 

There was a rabbi that wanted to make Baalei Teshuva, bring people back to Judaism. The Yetzer Hara tried to stop him. This time it was his turn to trick the Evil Inclination. He convinced the Yetzer Hara that he was going to do business with these people, but really his real reason was to teach them Judaism.

 

My Rebbe, The Skolya Rebbe, let us in on a secret. He said that if someone has a desire to do wrong, it’s a good idea to wait it out a few minutes. Usually the desire does not last more than two minutes. Another good idea is to keep busy. If a person is kept busy than they won’t have time to sin.

Manipulation is a Part of Life

August 1, 2013 Uncategorized No comments

 

   

 

DON’T LOOK!! At times with that look one can really pay the price. Such is the case in this week’s Parsha, where our Jewish soldier is in the battlefield against the enemy and he sees a beautiful woman, the enemy. The soldier is smitten by her and desires her. The Torah raises its hands and says, “We know we can’t stop that burning desire, sure you want her. Well, you can have her. However, a few conditions have to be met.” If after those conditions are met and he still wants to marry her then it is permissible. However, chances are great that eventually you will come to hate her. This look and desire is a recipe for disaster.

 

We find another famous incident where that look was a very costly one. Where, it was against the wishes of the Torah; against the wishes of his parents; a man so holy, a man with such power could fall and get manipulated so badly.

 

Manipulation is a weapon we all use. Wait! That’s not what I mean. I meant it in a good way. We are all born with great gifts. However, some people can’t figure out their positive attributes even if it was staring them straight in the face. In fact, it’s our duty is to draw the positive from friends, children, wives, students, employees. This can be artfully done through manipulation. However, sometimes people manipulate others’ weaknesses and use it against them, in order to selfishly gain. When they get their way, they dispose their victims rather conveniently. Such is the case with Shimshon and Delila.

 

Man is made up of a four chemical makeup: fire, water, wind, and sand. Depending on each individual, the chemical makeup differs. If fire is dominant, then a person tendency’s is toward anger or toward pursuit of honor. When fire is lit, if one notices, it tends to go up; the same with a person who desires kavod – honor – if he receives just a slight compliment, his ego goes up, up and away. If one tends to gravitate towards water, then he’s more prone to lusty bodily desires; that’s what’s on his mind. Wind is lightheadedness and sand is laziness and depression.

 

Shimshon’s parents’ prayers were answered and after many years, they had a baby boy. However, the messenger, an angel, informed Shimshon’s mother “The baby you will have cannot drink wine and cut his hair.” Shimshon had tremendous strength and the secret of his strength was his nezerut (refraining from wine and a good barber).

 

Shimshon had a tendency to gravitate towards non-Jewish women. His first wife was burned by the Jews’ bitter enemy Philishtim. His second wife, Delila, also not Jewish, was beautiful and Shimshon was smitten by her. Why did she marry him? Well, he wasn’t exactly your typical Jewish accountant. He was strong and the Philishtim were scared of him.

 

Delila was genuinely a good person; however as time went on, she got corrupted. The spies of the Philishtim came over to Delila and offered her tremendous wealth and status. Then after the first meeting went so well, the officers came up to her place. Delila was flattered; she received so much attention and kavod. They knew how to manipulate her. A good person can deteriorate. Some say she had an affair; others say she had an affair with the money, with the kavod. Delila was sold and she went to work for the Philishtim. She was to find out the secret of her husband’s power. She tortured him, refraining from sexual relations unless he reveals his secret. She nagged him and at times crying, “You don’t love me.” Apparently, she knew how to manipulate him. It’s hard for a man to be blackmailed with having physical relations. However, he can overcome and be strong. There was one important factor in this relationship; he loved her more then she loved him and she knew it!

 

Shimshon was a very holy and great man who was extremely sincere and loved G-d very much. One should never do what Shimshon did; he invited G-d to test his weakness. We tend to get all gung-ho about our religious level and sometimes we pray and say things that will haunt us later. Shimshon eventually revealed his secret and Delila quickly passed it on to the Philishtim contacts. Tragic ending to Shimshon.

 

At a banquet where all the major officers of the Philishtim army came to celebrate the capture of Shimshon who was chained to the great pillar at the banquet, Shimshon, who’s eyes were gorged out, prayed one last time to G-d to forgive him and give him strength this one last time. G-d answered his prayer and with one thrust, he brought down the pillars and the building, and killed everyone, including himself.

 

Manipulation is a way of life; it’s a tool that can be used to make people better or destroy them. Shimshon and Delila at first cared for each other, apparently, Shimshon cared for her more. It’s always beautiful in the beginning. However, Shimshon didn’t follow the Torah and its warnings; he followed his eyes and that’s what destroyed him.
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