Archive for August 2013

Got to Have Faith Especially in the Big Apple

August 23, 2013 Emunah/ Belief in G-D, Jewish Values, Pesach No comments

 

 

          Here is a story which made an impression on me and it is a perfect intro to the holiday of Pesach. A few days ago, I was on 47th street in the jewelry district, where I used to work, and I met a friend of mine, Robert. Robert related an incident that happened to him, maybe fifteen years ago. He was working and, as many of us sometimes experience, one day had to come up with $5000 to pay some bills.
          Robert left his office early to go downtown where he had a number of clients who owed him money, which he hoped to collect.  As he  walked to 48th St. and 6th avenue to take the train, he was stopped by a man who needed some help.
           Us New Yorkers are experts in reading people- we know who to stop for or who to ignore. This person, though not a bum, would definitely be considered one with major psychological issues. Sounds familiar right, everyone knows a few of those.
          Showing Robert an envelope full of coins, he told Robert in a slow weird voice “I found this in the street here and I tried to call the number and name found on the envelope and return it several times, but every time I ask for Dr. Kennedy, they hang up. Hey! all I want to do is be a good human being and return it. You look like an honest guy, can help me?”
          It was very obvious what had happened. Dr. Kennedy thought it was some weirdo calling, so he hung up.
          The man then asked Robert if he can call and try to get through to Dr. Kennedy. Robert said to himself “there is no harm in that” and proceeded to call.
          Robert did indeed get through to Dr. Kennedy who asked for Robert to describe some of the rare coins which were in the envelope. They were very expensive and Kennedy said that he was about to place an ad in the New York Times’ lost and found.
          Dr. Kennedy said “I am busy with patients, please tell the man to take a cab to the upper west side where I work, and to top it off, I’ll give him a $700 reward for the return of the coins.
          Robert, still on the phone with the Dr., relayed the message to the man, who said  “I’m not going, I’m too scared”. Kennedy then said to Robert “ok, then why don’t you come with him and I’ll give you half the reward”. Still the man was reluctant to go and maintained “I’m not going with you, I’m scared”.
          There was a long pause. Finally, Kennedy gave a suggestion to Robert – “why don’t you give $150 to the man and come here yourself and I’ll give you the reward”.
          He thought about it and rationalized, “it would seem that everybody gains, and not only that, I’m on a time clock to come up with the $5000, this would be a perfect start in the process of reaching my goal of the day.
          He gave the man $180- chai. The weird man looked to the left and then to the right, and he was gone.
          When Robert reached Kennedy’s building on the West side, he asked the doorman “can I take the short cut to the side office entrance which Kennedy described to get to his office?” The doorman laughed. He said “you’re the 5th person this month to come looking for Dr. Kennedy. There is no Dr. Kennedy. It’s all a scam”.
          Robert told me “I had been had, they tricked me. At first I laughed and said ‘wow what a performance’, then, though,  I got a little upset. I said ‘why did G-d do this to me? He knows I have to raise $5000. I not only lost $180, I also lost precious time’”. “I then started to think with my head and not with my emotions, Robert continued, and I shrugged it off as “this is what G-d wants, it is what it is.”
          Robert got an appraisal for the coins, they were worth one dollar!
Ten years after the incident, Robert was chauffeuring a famous mukubal (a Kaballist) who was going from community to community. He had plenty of time with the Mekubal and discussed various issues. He also mentioned this little incident. Later, while they were still in the car, it was quite and the Rabbi was thinking. Then the Rabbi said, “if you ever see that weird man again, give him another $180″.
          It seemed that the Rabbi was implying that if he would have taken the route downtown at that moment, he would have had devastating results. The “unfortunate” and not lucrative diversion saved him from hardship. Was the Rabbi trying to make him feel better by suggesting the alternative? It didn’t seem like it . Perhaps the Mekubal knows something we don’t know. We can all be skeptical about a kabalist. Still, one has to believe that everything is from G-d. And this is true no matter who tells it to you.
          G-d said to slaughter and eat the animals that the Egyptians called God. The Holy One said “nothing will happen to you”. Klal Yisroel did it anyways, even though it made no sense. This is belief.
          G-d said to jump into the waters when the Egyptians were chasing after the Jews. Nachshon jumped in because he believed. The waters split. Did it make sense? NO. That is belief.
          One has to have faith. Many unexplained occurrences can happen throughout the course of the day. New York is a colorful place with a lot of interesting characters. One has to believe that everything is from G-d!!

Badge of Honor

August 23, 2013 Emunah/ Belief in G-D, Jewish Values No comments

 

The following are excerpts from lectures given by Rabbis Berel Wein Shlit”a.

          Washing machines and dryers have a life span of about 20 to 30 years. We rented our basement to this women on condition that the washer and dryer would be off limits. A number of years ago, we came back earlier then expected after spending the holiday of Pesach by my mother in Forest hills. Much to our dismay, we discovered smoke coming out of the door leading to the basement…
          I rushed downstairs to find the tenant not only using but abusing the dryer!! It was overloaded and making a terrible noise. She was startled to see me, to say the least. Always overestimate your vacation time! The element of surprise allows one to discover many things. We had mentioned to her that we will be back at this and this date and that she should keep an eye on things. SHE WAS CAUGHT WITH HER HAND IN THE COOKIE JAR!! I gave her a look and couldn’t help but to think to myself “my oh my, you sure know how to arrange things, look, you set it up so carefully, still your disgrace has been discovered. You can’t hide!”
          So we called this nice Orthodox repairman by the name of Aryeh Satt, as the dryer conked out a week later. As he fixed it, I couldn’t help but to inquire about his life. I asked him about his unusual last name. “Satt” doesn’t resemble the classic Jewish names, Schwartz, Babayov, Hakimi etc. He explained that actually he is very proud of his name and proceeded to tell me about “Satt”. The name comes from a very interesting part of Jewish history.
          One of the most glorious periods of our history and the time we enjoyed prosperity and religious freedom was during the Golden Age of Spain. However, life is such that good things don’t last forever. The honeymoon ended on a very bitter note.
          Spain changed from a moderately Muslim to a highly religious Christian country. The optimal country for Jews to live in in the Diaspora is a non religious one. Once they get fanatical and move towards extremism- Jews will be persecuted. And so it was, trouble was brewing. The Church was obsessed with the idea that every Jew must convert. Many did convert, especially the affluent Jews. During the course of the Spanish Inquisition, more than 23 major Synagogues were burnt to the ground. Over 100,000 Jews died during this period and many were executed. In the late 1400s,  Ferdinand and Isabella, the king and queen of Spain, gave an ultimatum to the Jews: either convert to Christianity or face immediate expulsion. If neither is chosen, death will be the consequence.
          Tisha B’Av of the year 1492 was the expulsion date set for the Jews. The mood, as one could imagine, was a very sad one. The Rabbis allowed music to be played in order to lift their spirits. It’s very hard to leave the place one calls home. Christopher Columbus wrote in his log that he had a difficult time departing from the port because so many Jews were boarding ships that day.
          There were 250,000 people who left, while 250,000 remained since they didn’t want to leave their possessions. Those Jews reasoned that they would practice Judaism in private. These people all converted, however, they secretly practiced Judaism. These Jews were called Morronos. However, Isabella was smart and appointed Inquisitors to spearhead the Spanish Inquisition with the goal of preventing Morronos from practicing Judaism.
          Most of the 250,000 Jews were lost. They chose to stay in Spain and paid a dear price for it.
          Years later, many Jewish communities had little sympathy for and did not want to associate with the Morronos. The attitude toward them was “you mixed with the Gentiles, we are the pure Jews”.
          This gentlemen’s last name, “SATT” is an abbreviation in Hebrew of the letters SAMACH and TET which stands for Sefaradi Tahor- a pure Sefardic Jew. We didn’t mix, we didn’t assimilate.
          However, it seems like it was more then that. It wasn’t just a title; it was a badge of honor.
          We gave up our money, left our place of birth, abandoned our affluence, comfort and home for Judaism. It became Jewish pride. It’s in our genes to preserve our heritage, our future. It was a big sacrifice, but we did it; we persevered. Some of the Morronos can say “look, we survived, religion intact”. However, it was a tremendous gamble to take.
          The first test of our forefather Abraham was LECH-LECHA- go out of this land, your homeland. If you do not, you will get assimilated. It’s in our genes to get up and go when need be.
          In this week’s parsha we discuss a concept similar to Shabbat; Shmitta. Just like on Shabbat we do not work for one of the seven days of the week, here too, one does not use the land on the seventh year. Yes, that’s right, the whole year!!.  WHAT, NO WORK?  HOW DO WE PROVIDE FOR OUR FAMILY?! Still, this is what is stated in the Torah and we follow, even though it defies logic. This is what trusting G-d is all about. Although it’s difficult, one has to leave his business, his source of income.
Aryeh Satt and his ancestors have the right attitude. They look at belief, trusting and fulfilling G-d’s commandments as a badge of honor.
          In our history, we were forced to wear yellow stars and special hats. We took those degrading orders and bore them proudly. Perhaps, we should even embrace some of G-d’s positive commandments and treat them like opportunities, not requirements.
          We have to remember that the Torah, the Mitzvos etc… they’re our “badge of honor”.

Parshat Va’eira

August 23, 2013 Highlights on the Weekly Parsha No comments

First Portion: * HAVING THE RIGHT COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL TO GETTING AHEAD IN LIFE. The Sages were very clever in devising the essentials in the Siddur so that we can communicate with G-d in the optimal way and thereby get our prayers answered. Yes of course, if one fulfills the commandment and prays with intensity, with all his heart, shakes the shul with his fire, he can break through to the heavens!!  We should strive for that BE’EZRAT HASHEM!! However, that’s a difficult task. How can we increase those odds? How can we make it easier? We Jews like to take short cuts, we want instant results. There is no such a thing as a bank line in Israel, or any line for that matter! Well, if we are sensitive and meticulous enough, one can really make inroads in getting through to the Almighty. It should be noted, in some Siddurim the name of G-d differs in its spelling and punctuation. Every name of G-d has different and distinct powers. They are also unique as to how they manifest themselves in the world. For example, the Friday night Shabbat Kiddush has seventy two words which represent SHEFFA-abundance. This is the reason why we overflow the Kiddush cup- to symbolize an abundance of brachot. Kiddush on Friday night has tremendous powers and, if said correctly, can have a lasting effect throughout the week. Another example is the Amida (Shemonai Esrai) which we say three times daily. The prayer starts off with G-d’s name A–D–O–N–A–I. Why does it start with that particular name? If one notices in that name there is the word DIN-which represents harsh judgment. The first part of the word is A which is a softener to soften the judgment. In essence we say, “Please soften my DIN – judgment”, make it sweet so that I can start the most important prayer of the day and penetrate your heart.

 

In this week’s Parsha, G-d reveals himself to Moshe in a different state, a different distinct power. Most of the commentaries agree that G-d’s revelation to Moshe was on a higher level than how he appeared to our forefathers. “I am  Yud-Kay-Vuv-KAY (G-d)(6:2); to our forefathers he appeared as Kel-Shakay (6:3). He had not communicated with them face to face, rather only in an unclear fashion that the Sages refer to as “a clouded lens”. G-d wished to redeem the Jewish people in the fashion of revealing himself fully, addressing them face to face, as He in fact did latter at the splitting of the sea and at the Sinai revelation. Moshe saw concretely what others could not. Since he was destined to give over the Torah, it was necessary that his prophetic revelation be clear. Puzzles and riddles would not have enabled him to convey the Torah’s message, for the Torah must be open and clear to all. Therefore, Yud-Kay-Vuv-KAY was needed. This name has many powers; the one that is most famous is its connotation of RACHAMIM-mercy. Here we are informed that it means an intense revelation of His numerous powers. Our sages point out in the Amida that “HAKEL, HAGIBOR, VEH HANORA”, which describes G-d, in essence equals to Yud-Kay-Vuv-KAY.

 

Second Portion: * As an introduction to the start of the describing of the redemption, the genealogy of the tribe of Levi, who Moshe and Aharon are from, is listed. Everything in life is timing, as is evident in the Midrash (the Scriptures) that describes an incident with a member of the tribe of Benyamin who mistakenly calculated the redemption to come earlier than expected. They escaped Egypt only to be ambushed and killed in the desert by the Plishtim.

 

Third Portion: * Moshe, along with Aharon who accompanied Moshe because of his inability to speak properly, are instructed by G-d to go to Pharaoh and demand to let the Israelites go. G-d mentions “I will harden his heart and he will not let you out, then I will show my mighty hand”. The famous question is asked, “Where is the freedom of choice that was given to Pharaoh?” What do you mean “harden his heart?” If one ponders the ten plagues that befell Egypt, forcing them to let the Jews go, it seems that that’s not freedom of choice. That’s twisting their arms and demanding: “free them'”. It looks like excessive force to me and not freedom of choice!! We learn a fascinating insight; G-d hardened Pharaoh’s abilities to withstand the torture of the plagues so that he can make a balanced and weighed decision. Hardening the heart was projected on Pharaoh so that he can have the freedom. Pharaoh however, chose to enslave them even though he saw his own Egyptians being punished for his decision.

 

Fourth portion: * G-d punishes the Egyptians with the ten plagues. If one notices, the plagues occurred in various forms. Some came from the sky, some affected the water, the land, the animals, the air and lastly, the humans. This was to show that G-d commands all aspects of life.

 

*The Egyptians used the Nile for idolatry. Therefore, it was through and in the Nile that the first punishment took place.

 

* G-d then instructed Moshe to tell Aharon to raise his hand and bring upon the second plague, frogs.

 

Fifth Portion: * One big frog came and opened its mouth and a swarm of frogs emerged from its mouth all over Egypt. This is the original source for all those horror movies! Rashi says that the more one hit it, the more frogs come out of its mouth. The sages ask, “Wouldn’t it be wise to just stop hitting it, then nothing will come out?” The Steipler Gaon (R’ Yaakov Yisroel Kanievsky) answers, human nature is such that when we’re caught up in a frenzy, we forget to think. We tend to forget what we are trying to accomplish. So the frogs just kept on coming.

 

* G-d hardened Pharaoh’s heart and he would not let them go.

 

* G-d instructed Moshe to tell Aharon to raise his rod on the earth and bring forth the lice.

 

Sixth Portion: * Pharaoh still did not give in. Aharon, following the instructions from G-d through Moshe, brought upon wild beasts.

 

* The sixth plague was the death of the Egyptians’ livestock.

 

* The seventh plague was boils. The heat caused inflammation which erupted into blisters.

 

Seventh Portion: * Hail was number seven. It came with thunder. The thunder frightened Pharaoh more than anything else, for the Sages teach that thunder was created to purge the perversion of the heart. Throughout the narrative of the plagues, thunder was mentioned before the hail because it was the thunder that frightened the Egyptians and made them susceptible to the terror that would be inspired by the hail.

 

* Throughout these plagues, Pharaoh was pleading for Moshe to stop them, but soon after G-d hardened his heart and would not let the Israelites go.

Parshat Behar/Bechukotai

August 23, 2013 Highlights on the Weekly Parsha No comments

 

First Portion: * In most democratic countries, there is a clear distinction on many issues between church and state. However, the church (religion in general) and the business world, though don’t exactly mesh very well and often collide. Such is the case in this week’s parshiot where the belief of G-d is tested big time by the gurus of the economic world who give us sound advice.
* In this week’s parshiot, the Torah introduces the concept of shmita, where man works the land for six years and leaves it barren on the seventh. If one notices, there is a pattern that the Torah develops. G-d created the world in six days and rests on the seventh. So too, man works for six days and rests on the Sabbath. Seven is the official number representing the world. There are seven days in a week; there are seven year cycles leading to the fiftieth year Jubilee; the world is divided into seven regions. There are some opinions that the Jewish calendar starts with the month of Nissan; therefore the seventh month will come out to be Tishrei, the month that the world was created and each year is judged.
* During shmita, all private ownership of the produce of fields and vineyards are nullified. The crops become free for all. The proprietor may eat of the produce of his field like any stranger, and bring home for one day’s meal, but he cannot harvest the entire crop, for that would signify his claim to ownership. It is a year of rest from farm labor. Only a bare minimum care is permitted to prevent plants from dying. All the fruits and vegetables which grew in the shmita year possess kedusha; therefore it may not be sold commercially, and may not be exported to a country outside Israel. All of the above mentioned laws are in effect today.
* Yovel – the jubilee – having counted seven cycles of the shmita years, the Sanhedrin proclaimed the 50th year holy as a yovel year. The yovel was characterized by three obligations placed upon the Jewish nation. 1.) No farming just like shmita. Every 49th year, therefore, there were two successive years of rest for the land. 2.) Unconditional freedom for any Hebrew slave 3.) The return of all fields to their original owners, even if the fields were passed through several hands.
Second Portion: * G-d  promises that he will give blessings upon one who does not work the fields in the shmita year. He will provide for him on that year and the years following as well. Therefore, if one works his field during the shmita year, he demonstrates a lack of trust in G-d. Similarly, if a Jew works on Shabbat, he apparently lacks the conviction that G-d will provide him a livelihood.
Third Portion: * We know a Torah commandment is a lot more stringent than a rabbinical one. Here we see the importance to help a fellow Jew out in their time of need. It says “if your brother becomes improvised, you shall strengthen him.” It’s not just kindness one does to his fellow, but even more so, he has an obligation to put ‘his brother’, a more intimate term then just fellow, on his feet…..and “you shall strengthen him”. No matter how low his fellow brother sinks, it’s a requirement and an obligation to help. We often learn one should be makdim b’e mitzvah hasten – one should have zeal in conducting a commandment. We learn one should have foresight in detecting his brother’s financial situation before reaching the so-called ‘alarming level’ and acting fast in strengthening him.
Fourth Portion: * We begin the second of the two parshiot, Bechukotai, where G-d promises, if you will follow my laws, I will shower you with blessings from ‘alef ad taf.’ My blessing will be such that it will encompass the entire alphabet, from the beginning until the end. This is hinted at the beginning of the Parsha, which is the beginning of the brachot; it starts with ‘Im bechukotai’. ‘Im’ starts with the letter alef and the end of the brachot ends with ‘komemut’ (26:13). The last letter of komemut is taf which is the last letter of the alef-bet.
Fifth Portion: * G-d uses the word ‘hithalachti’ –  I will walk with you. It’s a term often used when He wants to give his bracha in abundance. Similarly, the term was used to Yeravam ben Nevad, who was a potential star gone astray. G-d approached him and urged him not to give up the tremendous potential he possessed, repent!! “Come walk with me and Ben Yishai (referring to King David) and we will take a stroll in Gan Eden.”
* If you do not listen to me…..This is one of a few parshiot that has klalot – curses.
* In many communities, either the Rabbi, chazzan, or even the gabbai, go up to the Torah for this and other undesirable aliya, because no want wants it. As compensation, they also get the prime real estate like Az Yashir, ten commandments, Yevarech Avarechecha.
Sixth Portion: * When in danger, it is considered proper for a Jew to pledge money for tzedakah for “charity rescues from death” (mishlai 10:2). After the reproof, which speaks of critical times, the Torah describes how a Jew should act if, in such critical circumstances, he promises to give money to charity. One type of charity is donating the value of someone’s life to G-d. G-d regards the donation of the monetary value of a person as if his life has been offered, saying “if you donate the value of a person, I will consider it as though you sacrificed him.”
Seventh Portion: * We conclude the sefer – book of Vayikra – with Chazak Chazak Ve’nitchazek.

Modesty

August 23, 2013 G-d and Us, Tzniut- Modesty No comments

The following are excerpts from the lectures of Rabbi Isaac Oelbaum.

          A man waltzes into synagogue one Sunday morning grinning from ear to ear, boasting that “I just came here with my brand new Lexus, it’s parked right in front”. During the course of the services while everybody was standing with their siddurs open, he was busy describing to them how he had bargained with the car dealer and how he got his price, and eventually startling the man by putting all the money down up front. “You should have seen his face when I wrote the check” he said with a snicker. One sure knows how to feel good when purchasing a fancy shmancy car!! Perhaps that is why G-d created friends, just so that one can show off in front of them!
          However, as they all walked out of synagogue, he was horrified to discover that someone had carved and scratched on to his front windshield the words MAZAL TOV!!
          In tractate Brachot, the Gemara relates an unusual story about Rav Nachman who approached a community eulogizer after he eulogized one individual as being modest. Rav Nachman asked “was he modest when he went to the bathroom?”
          Is covering up ones nakedness and being low key in the bathroom a barometer for being modest? That’s news to me! What about reading the New York Times in the bathroom for an extended period of time, is that considered violating the modesty laws in the lavatory? How about just the sports section?! Torah cannot be learned in the bathroom, so one has to read something, No?
          In order to properly understand the meaning of the Gemara’s statement, we have to explore modesty-TZNIYUT a little further.
          The commentaries say that modesty is extremely important and is actually a form of intelligence, because it resembles G-d’s traits. The Torah discusses an incident regarding Moshe after he saved Yitro’s daughters from the nasty shepherds by the well. Yitro’s daughters came to their father and informed him of what had happened and how they were saved by this unknown and mysterious man.
          Yitro’s response was AYO HAISH- where is the man. The fact that the man didn’t come to claim a reward, not bragging about how he protected the damsels in distress, means that he must be from the genealogy of Sarah. Sarah was the Jewish matriarch who modestly stayed in the tent while her husband Avraham hosted the guests, the three angels. In that incident, the Torah uses a similar word to the one Yitro used. The angels asked, “AHYEY SARAH ISHTECHA- where is Sarah your wife?”. They then blessed Avraham and Sarah that, G-d willing, by next year you shall have a boy.
          Yitro, knowing this, exclaimed, “don’t leave this man outside, bring him in quickly!!. Perhaps one of you may marry him. After all, the bracha comes from the modesty that Sarah, had shown.” As a side, this is one of the reasons Sarah merited having a son. The Sages emphasize that on Yitzchak’s behalf the whole world stands. And he only came into existence thanks to modesty. That’s the power of modesty.
          The Torah teaches us that the whole essence of a bracha is the fact that it’s hidden and modest. To prove this, one can simply observe that God himself remains not revealed. One cannot see G-d and no one ever did, at least not his face. Additionally, we know that there are no open miracles anymore. So too, bracha is best not revealed. The most holy and spiritual things are PNIMI-inward, hidden. Anything that is open and outwardly, one will not find a bracha there. Astonishingly, the Sages say that there is no bracha unless something is under the radar, in other words away from the eye, for perhaps it is the evil eye. A human, every human, has a bracha attached to it, and it is conceived in the confines of a private place. No eye sees the conception of the seed of bracha.
          But shouldn’t a bracha (on a fruit, for instance) be said out loud and not concealed?
          Yes, the bracha should be recited out loud, however it doesn’t go into affect until the fruit is swallowed, because that part is concealed and only then will the bracha kick in.
          In this week’s parsha  we read again about Kohanim. In Tractate Yoma the Gemara tells us about an extraordinarily modest woman named Kimchetuh. She was asked, “how did you merit to have seven sons and all served as High Priests? That’s quite an accomplishment!!”
          She answered, “I did not let the walls of my house see one speck of my hair uncovered”. WOW! As her reward, her boys will enter the holy of holies, where no one can enter and no one can see. Again, tzniut, modesty. It’s so important. The Kohen Gadol speaks to G-d privately, again in the most modest way. Tzniut, modesty, PNIMIUT, it’s crucial.
          The bathroom is the antithesis of PNIMI. It’s the most external act one can experience. Still, Rav Nachman was trying to emphasize that if one is modest  and private even in the most external act that a human can do, then and only then he can be labeled modest.

Nothing Wrong With Competition

August 22, 2013 Uncategorized No comments

picture idea by Boaz Davidoff 

When I was working in our family business in jewelry, our family used to bank at Merchant’s Bank of New York. There was a popular employee at the bank who was working as a teller at the same counter for twenty five years. I once asked my father if he’s Jewish. He responded, “probably not, he’s been a teller for twenty five years and it’s not “Jewish” to stay in the same position for that long a period of time”.

 

What is it about our people that we can’t stay in one place? We Jews also have a competitive edge that is second to none. If our friend buys a new car, we’ll go out and get a nicer car. Whether its moving to a better neighborhood, a higher paying job, a fancier car etc. we Jews are always on the move. It seems like we have ants in our pants…..Why?
We learn a common trait about Jews in this weeks Parsha, Bechokotai. “IM BECHUKOTAI TELECHU”- if you go in my ways, “TELECH” – go. We’re always moving. Since we are the chosen people, G-d instilled in all of us the ability to rise to spiritual heights. Therefore, we are never satisfied to stay in one position. There is that craving, a hunger, for a higher spiritual pleasure.

 

When the Torah describes an angel, it characterizes it as OMED- standing still. He has one mission and is programmed to do just that, hence he’s stationary. We, on the other hand, have a NESHAMA- a soul, and the mechanism as to how the soul is supposed to function is found in the word NESHAMA itself. The magic word is SHAM- there. Our mission is to go there. Where is there? We have one simple option, either to follow or not to follow the laws of the Torah.
The message of this week’s parsha tells us that “if you go in my ways, then I will always be with you- HITHALACHTI BEHTOCHAM. There is a certain bracha that will always follow you. The same usage of the word “go” is used. The reason again is because man was meant to constantly be moving toward the perfect state. He either moves up or down, but always he moves. The competitive edge has to be channeled correctly. Then, and only then, G-d will be with you. He will be with you in this world and the next.

 

Deception a Way of Life

August 22, 2013 Shavuot No comments

We are approaching the holiday of Shavuot. As one is familiar with the counting of the Omer, every day we refine a different character trait. So by the time we reach matan Torah – the receiving of the Torah – we will be in a perfect state, although nobody’s perfect but you know what I mean – perfect as can be.  Baruch Hashem, we are all good Jews that have worked on ourselves to a great extent. We do not lie, cheat, talk bad about other people; we do not hurt people’s feelings, lose our patience, etc. We just have to fine tune our character just a bit and we’ll be okay.

 

However, some of us have a perception that if one does not lie, they’re free and clear to pursue their goals ruthlessly. Some of their ways of getting what they want is done through deception. They are clever and are careful to follow everything according to halacha – the letter of the law – without violating one’s iota.

 
Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt, one of the Rosh Yeshiva’s of the Chofetz Chaim Yeshiva, conveyed these two stories which will bring home the point of deception.

 

The Gemara relates a story where one Jew sues another for money in which he never paid back. The defendant comes to court limping with a cane. The judge calls the two up to his chambers where he asks the defendant, “Did you return the money that you owe?” The defendant, who was grimacing and clearly in pain, asked the person standing closest to him – who happened to be the accuser – to hold his cane while he make an adjustment in his brace. Then he proceeded to tell the Judge, “Your Honor, maybe the accuser had a lapse of memory, but I swear I returned the money I owe him.” Upon hearing the defendant’s testimony, the Judge turns to the accuser and says, “He swore he returned the money. Unless, you have substantial proof, which apparently you don’t, this case is closed.” The accuser was so upset, he took the defendant’s cane, which he was still holding, and banged it against the railing in the chambers where it cracked open. Lo and behold, the money that he owed was placed in the cane. It seems like the defendant deliberately gave the cane with the owed money to the accuser when asked if he returned it. In actuality he did, for a moment. This is a clear case of deception.

 
Rabbi Grunblatt, who was at one point a high school principal in a Chofetz Chaim branch in Miami, Florida, relates a story involving construction work in the front of the building of the Yeshiva, in which they finally were able to scrape some money together. The workers placed a sign, ‘do not enter’ where they had just put the finishing touches of the wet tender cement. They assumed that by the morning, the cement will be dry and the sign will be removed. However, boys will be boys and with high school boys never-the-less, some mishap is inevitable. Apparently, there were some students who decided to carve their initials on the wet pavement. The accused students were called to the principal’s office the next day where all but one confessed to the mishap. The one student, like the others, was asked if he carved his initials on the pavement. The student paused briefly before answering, “No, I did not put my initials on the pavement.” Rabbi Grunblatt who caught the pause, realized there was a technicality issue, but played along and let him go. He figured he would let the issue simmer a bit for a few days as the other students were doing their after school punishment assignment. A few days later, the boy was called back to Rabbi Grunblatt’s office after complaints arose from the other boys as to why he didn’t get his punishment. “Apparently, the other boys seem to think you’re getting off the hook. Did you carve you initials in the pavement?” The boy answered back “No.” Rabbi Grunblatt then asked him, “Did you carve someone else’s initials?” The boy didn’t answer. “Whose initials did you carve into the pavement?” The boy answered, “Rabbi Mandel.”

 
People can go on their entire life deceiving others. In many incidents, though, they might not have transgressed any laws. However, there is a moral and higher standard that we Jews should live by. After all, the world looks at us as we are G-d’s chosen people. So we have some big shoes to fill, especially, when we have the Torah. Perhaps if we would be a little more sensitive about deception, we might clear our hearts and feel pure and not feel, “Hey man, I pulled the wool over him.” That feeling taints the heart.

From a Mother to the World

August 22, 2013 Uncategorized No comments

 

 mother holding child

A friend, Ofir Haimov, sent me an email written by his cousin, Nilly Haimov, which I thought was very touching and I’d like to share it with you.

 

 

B”H

My parents are not getting better. I haven’t found a way to stabilize their condition, they are in their 80’s and there are many like them in the world today. I am a fighter, and I can make sacrifices for everyone. Right now I am sacrificing for me, for my parents, visiting doctors, intensive care units, hospital rooms with sleepless nights. All my children are not with me, all my friends are not with me, but my parents who need me now more then ever – are with me. Remember, once your loved ones leave it is too late to pick up the phone and hear their voice, it is too late to get a hug, it is too late to get to know them a little more so you can share stories about them; it is just too late.

 

In my life there was not much room for my parents. I was a dedicated wife, businesswoman, and mother traveling the world. Now, when my parents are at their last strengths, I am back to being with them. My parents accepted my worldly life; seems like they too thought this is what the world is all about. Now I pray that they forgive me for not giving them all they deserved, for not stopping everything and making sure they are happy and well.

 

In this world, putting our self aside is very hard, profession comes first, it’s an “all about me attitude”, my plans, my classes and my look; my comfort comes first so don’t expect me to give all that up. I am sorry that our world was brought up this way; I wish we could see things differently. For now, I say thank you for whatever I get because in this crazy world, it’s best not to expect, this way you aren’t disappointed. So from a not disappointed mother to the world, thank you for giving me this plate; it is the best meal for me, especially since G-d planned it.

 

You who are reading this – make sure your plate is set well, because each one of us eats what we have prepared. Hope your meal will be healthy and tasty, nourishing and educational.

 

Respectfully,

A Mother

P.S. What can we do differently? Put the business aside, the studies aside, the TV away, shut the internet off and find your loved ones that need you. Support them just for today and see what a great feeling you get. Can’t buy that at the mall, or get it in the movies; can’t even get it in class, you have to get it yourself!

 

 

 

During the 1960’s, there were approximately twenty Bukarian families living in New York, mostly in Queens. We were all very close, attending each other’s special occasions. The kids had a tremendous bond considering the unique similarities of being born in New York, raised by Israeli parents, but having a strong mystic connection through our parents to the Bukarian culture. Little did we children realize at the time, that our lives would go in different directions as we entered into adulthood. It’s been thirty plus years since I had any contact with Nilly. I have read many articles about this period of our lives. But, I guess hearing it by one of your own; someone who shared your childhood experiences and remembers your parents being young and vibrant – penetrates the heart.

 

 

Parshat Toldot

August 22, 2013 Highlights on the Weekly Parsha No comments
First Portion
*BEWARE OF THE CYNICS! GOTTA STAY AWAY FROM THOSE PEOPLE!! We learn an important lesson in the first line of the parsha. It says (25:19)” Yitzchak was the son of Avraham”. Then it says “Avraham gave birth to Yitzchak”. G-d goes out of his way to confirm that Yitzchak was indeed the son of Avraham. People might think that he was the son of King Avimelech. For so many years Avraham and Sarah lived together and were not able to produce children. Apparently, right after the incident where Sarah was secluded for some time with the King, she became pregnant. But it was really Avraham who fathered Yitzchak. One of the biggest miracles that occurred when G-d granted Avraham and Sarah a child was that Yitzchak was a spitting image of Avraham, in order to shut down any minuscule possibility that Yitzchak was not his son. G-d went out of his way not to diminish the miracle. The importance of maintaining KIDDUSH HASHEM exalting G-d name and what Judaism stands for is of the utmost importance. Perhaps, we have to maintain the decorum required for that high slandered of spirituality. However one idiotic sarcastic comment by some clown can ruin and compromise the biggest miracle. Unfortunately we are susceptible to believing the cynics. This kind of stuff sticks. Therefore we have to do whatever we can to preserve our religion.
* The Sages say, Yitzchak and Rivka prayed to have children. However, it was Yitzchak’s prayers that G-d heard resulting in Rivka’s pregnancy. Rashi explains, the reason is that Yitzchak was a tzadik ben tzadik, righteous the son of righteous, while Rivka was tzadeket bat rasha, righteous the daughter of wicked. The Taz asks, wait just one minute fellow!! Haven’t we learned that if someone comes from a secular background and becomes observant, G-d listens to their prayers wholeheartedly, more so then one who has been religious all his life? Apparently, Yitzchak’s biggest virtue was the intensity of his prayer. For this reason Rivka, when she first laid her eyes on Yitzchak, (he was in the middle of prayer) she fell off her camel out of awe and fear. She had never experienced someone pray like that.
* From the first moment of contact with Yitzchak, the tone of the relationship was set. It was much different then the open heart dialogue relationship of his parents Avraham and Sarah. In fact when Rivka inquired why she was in such great pain, because of the pregnancy, she did not go to her husband. She went to an outside kabalist whose name was Malki Tzedek, even though her husband was considered just as holy. Malki Tzedek informed her there are two great nations in her stomach. She never informed her husband of her consulting with the great Rabbi nor did she inform Yitzchak of what he said.
* Since Rivka complained of her pain from her pregnancy, she did not merit to be the mother of the twelve tribes in which she was destined to have.
*Yaakov and Eisav are the definition of good and evil. According to the Zohar, they were both born in order to bring the world to the level of the messianic time. Yaakov was to take the good in this world and elevate it to the highest level. Eisav was an ISH TZAYID, a hunter, who used trickery, to capture its prey. He was to influence people through being a fine actor and capture their heart back to G-d. But Eisav did not reach the standard that was set up for him, so Yaakov was assigned both tasks.
Second Portion
*There was a famine in the land resulting in Yitzchak and Rivka moving to Grar, the land of the Pilishtim. Yitzchak actually wanted to go down to Egypt, however G-d refused saying: “you will not leave the land of Israel”.
* It seems like our forefathers had great taste in picking good wives because this is the third time the narratives tells us that our fathers and mothers traveled out because of the famine and our mothers were forced to see the king. They were saved by G-d, unharmed. Personally I have this lingering question for years on the three peat of the similar occurrence. An email response with an answer would be greatly appreciated.
Third Portion & Fourth Portion
* The Pelishtim wanted to kill Yitzchak because he was penniless and poor when he arrived to their land. Then after he became financially successful, they still wanted to kill him. Many commentaries say this was an indication of anti-Semitism. When King Avimelech comes to him and asks that they sign a new treaty, or to re-affirm the one made with his father Avraham, Yitzchak rebukes him and says “You hate me why do you come to me? Avimelech response is one that we have heard through the course of history: “We have done you nothing but good, and we sent you away in peace”. He wants Yitzchak to appreciate the fact that he was not sent to a concentration camp, but was allowed to leave the country after his wells and his land was confiscated (Nachshoni).
Fifth Portion
* The fact that Avimelech came to Yitzchak after all he had done to him and requested a treaty, is somewhat surprising According to the Ramban, his conscience bothered him because he had violated the treaty he made with Avraham and he was afraid Yitzchak’s descendants will expel his descendants in the future.
* We see another incident where there is a difference between husband and wife. Rivka secretly intervenes in giving the bracha to the Yaakov, who was deserving of it.
* We see that in order for a blessing to take place, the person giving the bracha has to be satisfied both emotionally and physically. Yitzchak asks Eisav, “hunt and prepare me a meal that I like, then I will bless you. Then and only then will the bracha take effect.
* Eisav was delayed in capturing an animal for his father because he did not go with his coat. He has this coat from wining a battle against Nimrod. This was Adam’s coat (first man). It had a special devise were animals would gravitate to and then they would be easy prey. Rivka gave this coat to Yaakov to wear so that Yitzchak would not know the difference.
* HAKOL KOL YAACOV the voice sounds like Yaakov. Many commentaries say that a Jew’s power is in his mouth, while the gentile nation have physical power. Perhaps this is the reason Jewish accountants and lawyers are not known for their physical beauty.
* When Yitzchak smelled Yaakov, Rashi comments that he smelled an apple tree from Gan Eden and he Knew he’s giving the bracha to the right son. This kindness that G-d did with Yaakov is reiterated on Rosh Hashana by dipping Apples in honey.
Sixth Portion
* As long as Yaakov’s descendants follow the ways of G-d they will prevail over Eisav descendants. However if they do not follow in that path then Eisav will prevail and inflict pain onto Yaakov.
*”Yitzchak trembled” when he realized that he could have given the bracha to the wrong son. Another opinion says that after Yaakov leaves, Eisav comes in and lets out a shout, letting Yitzchak realize that he really gave the bracha to Yaakov. He realizes that Hashem has a master plan and that it was done for the best. “Yitzchak trembles” because of the thought that he might have accidentally ruined that plan by giving the bracha to Eisav. That is why Yitzchak says shortly after that Yaakov should keep the bracha and be blessed.
Seventh Portion
*The stage is set for Yaakov to find a wife.

Did Avraham Know How to Make Sweet and Sour Meatballs

August 22, 2013 Hachnasat Orchim- Inviting Guests No comments

 

Our forefather, Avraham, who was famous for his signature hospitality, once asked Shem (Malki Tzedek), the son of Noach, who was in the Ark with his father and brothers, “in what merit did you go out of the ark?” Shem replied, “In the merit of the kindness that we did there.” What kindness?” Avraham asked, “Was there for you to do in the ark” Were there poor people there? Only Noach and his sons were there, so for whom did you do kindness? “For the animals and birds” answered Shem “We did not sleep. We just served one after the other all night.” Thereupon Avraham said “Had they not done kindness for the animals and birds, they would have not have left the ark. Only because they did CHESSED did they go out. If I do it for people, how much more so!!

It said, soon after his meeting with Shem, Avraham went and planted an ESHEL. ESHEL in Hebrew is spelled ALEF, SHIN, LAMED. And the acronym for those three letters ACHILA – food, SHTIYA – drink, LEVAYA – escort. So a good host has to feed the guest with food, drinks, and escort them four steps when they leave.

I, Rabbi Avi Matmon, have a signature dish which has become rather popular around here; it is ABBA’S FAMOUS MEATBALLS. What better time to disclose this recipe then Parshat Lech Lecha, which happens to be the first Parsha I’ve learned back in the first grade and also brings out one of Avraham’s, our forefathers, virtue. First, a little background; I discovered it when I was in the Jewelry business. Once I was in the booth of a good friend of mine, Yale Zoland of Zoland and Sons Jewelers, when I happened to ask “hey does anybody know a good recipe for meatballs” Just then a lady who happened to be at the counter of his booth, said “I have an amazing recipe”. So here it goes:

 

1 spoon of Heinz chili sauce

1 and half spoons of grape jelly

1 spoon of brown sugar

1 15oz can of tomato sauce

1 lemon

half spoon cornstarch for texture

 

Mix all in a pot, stir on low flame for 1 hour and 15 mins; pour on uncooked meatballs (standard meatballs recipe); cover and put in oven 20 min; uncover for another 20 mins 350 degrees. WALLA!!!

 

If you want to be a good host and help your wife. These are delicious meatballs for people who love to eat. They’ll say “NOW, THAT’S A HOST.”

 

P.S.- The giant, Og, is named because he went to Avraham’s house unexpectedly and found Sarah baking cakes. OOGA means cakes. He was so impressed with the hospitality and the cakes, that the impression stayed with him for the rest of his evil life.
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