Spark of Jewish Experience

Woke up, fell out of bed

Dragged a comb across my head

Found my way downstairs and drank a cup and looking up I noticed I was late I thought for a second, held my breath ready to embrace an action pact day. I have to figure out what’s on the agenda and what to tackle first.  I have to priorities. There is an important business deal that could land some nice money and pay for back tut ions. There is also my daughter’s play which could overlap the business appointment. Oh yes, I forgot there is this and there is that.

There’s a compelling phrase in Job (5:7): “A person was born to work.” In other words, this world is a place where we get things done. However, as anyone who has stayed up all night working will tell you, we can’t do it all. The Misilat Yesharim, one of the classics in Jewish literature character improvements books, writes that ninety eight percent of people before dying admitted they have not accomplished half of what the set out in life. That would be considered a major disappointment, So it seems like, we have to prioritize, as best as possible, what is needed to do and what it is we are trying to accomplish.

However, poor judgment and bad values are common. Some more apparent than others:

How many remember this classic tale?

A Londoner parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.

As he’s getting out of the car, a huge truck comes speeding along too close to the curb and takes off the door before zooming off. More than a little Distraught, the Londoner grabs his hand phone and calls the police. Five Minutes later, the police arrive.

Before the police man has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts

Screaming hysterically: “My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it’s at the mechanic it’ll simply never be the same again!”

After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head In disgust. “I can’t believe how materialistic you bloody Londoners are,” He says. “You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else in your life.”

“How can you say such a thing at a time like this?” sobs the Porsche

Owner.

The policeman replies, “Didn’t you realize that your right arm was torn Off when the truck hit you.”

The Londoner looks down in horror.  He screams…….

My Rolex!!!

The message is clear and with humor nonetheless. We know where this guy’s priorities are; hope it’s not yours. Interestingly, though, this next classic very common story, although an important lesson no doubt is followed by an interesting Torah incident make us more aware that to priorities is not a simple matter.

Naomi is married to a very busy, goal-oriented individual. She often laments how due to his overloaded schedule, they rarely spend quality time with each other.

One day, Naomi phoned her husband to tell him that a very important client, who had been trying to meet with him for a long time, had called. She had taken the initiative and scheduled a meeting for 8:00PM that evening at an elegant restaurant in a downtown hotel.

Naomi’s husband thanked her for her efforts and assured her that he’d rearrange his schedule to make the meeting.

At 7:45PM, Naomi’s husband drives up to the hotel; by 7:55, he’s seated in a quiet corner of the restaurant, at a discreet table conducive for discussion. By 7:57PM, he has smoothed his tie and ordered drinks for himself and his client. At a minute to 8:00, he clicks off his cell phone and clears his mind from all the day’s issues, so nothing would distract him.

A few moments later, to his utter astonishment, Naomi enters the restaurant dressed in an exquisite outfit. He watches as she purposefully makes her way to his table and gracefully sits down opposite him.

His perplexed expression briefly turns to annoyance then to anger, but finally settles on admiration as it dawns on him that his wife is the “important client who had been trying to meet him for a long time.” She has gone through this elaborate scheme just to make him appreciate that she was no less worthy of his time and attention than any lucrative client.

Their hour together in the quiet corner of that elegant hotel, with his cell phone turned off and all other appointments cancelled, was productive and enjoyable for both of them. So much so, that hopefully, Naomi won’t have to rely on such ruses to make it happen again–more regularly…

The priority to have shalom between a husband and wife is so great, it is so dear to G-d that HE says: Let my name be erased in the water, if only to bring peace between man and wife. This is referring to the sotah a wife whose husband suspects her of adultery where then she has to go through a ritual. This consist of the wife, who denies the charges, having to drink a specific potion administered by the priest where this mixture consists of a parchment with G-d’s name being erased with water mixed with the ashes of a red cow. If she’s telling the truth, she will incur abundance of blessings. However if she’s lying she and her partner in sin will die a gruesome spectacular death

Family is very important. There is an incident though involving our great leader Moshe that has to be addressed.  Moshe on his return to Egypt as the Redeemer of Israel stopped with his wife and two sons to take up lodging for the night. The Torah tells us that Moshe “…was encountered by G-d who sought to kill him”. Rashi in his commentary cites the Midrash that tells us that when Moshe embarked on his journey to Egypt, Eliezer (his second son) had already been born but was not yet circumcised. Moshe believed that circumcising him prior to embarking on the journey would endanger the life of his newborn (Eliezer). On the other hand, to delay the journey would be unacceptable because G-d told him to go to Egypt.

Moshe’s obligation to circumcise his son would have been at the first available moment. When Moshe stopped for his night’s lodging, he first attended to unloading his pack animal rather than circumcising his son. Because of this delay an angel came and tried to kill him.

We see life is full of important decisions and one has to priorities and categories what’s deemed most important. Was unloading his pack of animals and settling in or circumcising his son more important? Where does the priority lie?

Rashi, in commenting on the first word of this week’s parsha, based on Midrash, expands the meaning of the word eikev implying the word, means “foot” or “heel.”  He comments that there are commandments and values in Jewish Torah life that the Jews somehow take lightly. Keeping Shabbat is cool however saying the prayer for the moon can be ignored. They grind them into the dust of everyday life by stepping upon them with their foot and/or heel. It is these, so to speak, neglected commandments and values that are the true key for spiritual success and a good life. Rashi emphasizes to us that the choice of the word eikev,Torah is teaching us the valuable lesson of life that there really are no small things or inconsequential acts.

The rabbis in Avot taught us to be careful with “light” commandments just as we are justly careful with more stringent and weighty commandments. The rabbis emphasize that one does not know the true effect of the observance of these “light” commandments in the reward and punishment scheme of the judgment of Heaven. So the Torah in effect teaches us to watch our step and actions lest our heel unintentionally treads upon a holy commandment and/or value.

It is difficult for us to measure differing values and the weight and worth of any of the commandments of the Torah. Whenever we need some sort of clarification,, the halachic process, Jewish law, resolves for us what our behavior and action should be. They priorities for us or they protect and prevent us from stomping on commandment that we might deem as secondary.

Yet, on an intellectual and spiritual plane, we are always faced with decisions regarding our priorities of behavior and action. In essence we are on our own. There are no specifics on how to behave and feel. We are, at times, in the midst of a heart felt prayer to our creator,  when a poor man shoves his hands in front of us  demanding that he be given give some money. What should we do? Shall we ignore the poor man and attempt somehow regains the devotional intent in prayer or shall we abandon the prayer and grant a coin to the beggar? Which value shall we tread upon with our heel?  The Torah doesn’t instruct us.  There is no precise law on those situations, Furthermore there is no particular law or Shulchan Aruch (book of laws) details on emotions.  Although we know G-d doesn’t approve us displaying feelings of anger or other negative emotions. Moshe displayed anger when he hit the rock. That action prevented him from entering the Promised Land. However there is no specific punishment for anger, or for that matter, other negative feelings. Our Sages try to coach us on how to behave. In fact the Torah presents us many stories of our Patriarch and Matriarch and their encounters and experiences. How they dealt with a Lavan an Eisav. Moshe dialogues with Pharaoh, and so on, are all a lesson to be learned. However the Torah does not present it as an instructional set of laws, the ABC of how to behave. We have to come to our own logical moral decision. Our Rabbi today has special classes or sermons to emphasize those lessons however nothing is officially from the written Torah.

Perhaps rightfully so that the Torah doesn’t govern our emotions. After all we are not robots. We are not Mr. Spock. It might be argued that the Rabbis have enough say in our lives. Hey! stop budding in. The buck stops here. No emotional control necessary.

Its interesting, why did they indeed stop there?  Why didn’t our Sages regulate all aspect of our lives? Why not? If they have enough chutzpah to tell us which shoe to tie first why not instruct us how to display our feelings?

One must realize that prioritizing will define who we are. How big is that? We learn from Noach.

Noach – the man of the land – planted a vineyard” [Bereshis 9:20]. Rashi comments on the words “the man of the land” (ish ha’adama) that this connotes that Noach was defined by the land.. Noach was the “master of the land”.

Ramban notes that this usage sets a precedent (zeh bana av) for such constructs elsewhere in Tanach. The person — “ish” — is defined by what comes after it. The Ramban cites the additional example of “ish haElokim” [Devorim 33:1] by Moshe – the man of G-d, meaning a person who defined himself by G-d. Noach, on the other hand, became a person who was defined by the land

Rav Yeruchum Levovitz explains that this teaches a lesson regarding the importance of proper priorities. There are many things which we must do in this world. We have many obligations. But priorities DEFINE what a person will become. The pasuk says “vaYachel Noach ish haAdamah”. Our Sages note that earlier Noach was referred to as a pure and noble spirit (Noach ish Tzadik tamim). Look what happened to him! Suddenly he is called a “man of the earth.” Where did he go wrong? Chazal explain that his spiritual descent was extremely subtle. It was not a dramatic rebellion or change of life style. Heaven Forbid! Noach merely misplaced his priorities and planted what should have been a later crop ahead of what should have been earlier plantings.

Noach’s inappropriate first priority became his defining essence as mentioned in the previously quoted Rashi. [Ish haAdama <-> Ish haElokim] The vineyard defined him because that became the number one priority in his life. It is crucial to maintain appropriate priorities.

The Sages write that not one human being is the same.  and therefore character traits are very hard to gage. Every individual has their own sensitivities and what might be easy character trait to overcome for one can be a tremendous struggle for another. This is clearly evident by the Torah. Avraham and Yitzchak, father and son were two very different individuals. They had the same goals however they approached their challenges in their own unique way. So one set of rule will not be applicable for all. High expectancy of character traits cannot spell out every situation. One has to use judgement in the right way. As a matter of fact Jewish education has flirted with the idea to approach each child with a different teaching method. This is the proper approach. It’s an injustice to teach and to grade children, students the same. Obviously because of the cost involved that approach is highly unlikely. Jewish mystical tradition reveals the tremendous power that each human being has to affect the world through the unique gift of freewill. The idea that G-d created a world where humans were given a freewill is a gift of tremendous magnitude and responsibility in itself. That is the responsibility where the Torah gives us the ability to show who we are, what we will define. Will we get are priorities straight like Moshe-the man of G-d or not like Noach-the man of the land?

So we see what define a person’s essence is how he deals with his personal agenda