Making Limitations is Essential

Excerpts from the shiurim of Rabbi’s Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt and Dr. Robert Goldman
also excerpts taken from the book by Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler “Michtav Eliyahu”

          I was invited to a yartzheit dinner the other night and, Baruch Hashem, they had a lot of food. America is beautifull!! However, those days of feasting without thinking are unfortunately behind me. Today there are limitations on what yours truly can eat. Yes, yes. We don’t have to indulge. There is something called will power. We have to be strong and not give in to temptation. WE CAN DO IT!! Nevertheless, even with all the RA RA RA pep talk and the encouraging pat on the back, it felt like a war zone at the yartzheit dinner table. It seems, at times one is walking on the mine field; the chicken dish is mixed with french fries. If one is on a low carb diet, he has to separate the two. Besides the fact that its fried food. BUT WAIT!! HOW CAN YOU EAT THE CHICKEN WITHOUT THE FRIES (CHIPS! KARTOSHKA)?! That’s like separating Abbot and Costello. However, ya gotta do it. But wait, there’s more. There is the sour-salted tomatoes….which is bad for high blood pressure. And when we finally reach the end, at about 10:00 o’clock, the crowning devil-in-disguise, the famous rice-meat-carrot dish, makes an appearence. Nutritionist will tell you ” can’t eat carbs after 8-9:00 o’clock”. It’s terribly tempting for someone who is diabetic. One can only eat fruit. With all those distractions, who can concentrate on the speeches…let alone ask, “did someone die?”. Its apparent, one has to draw the line and set limitations or else he’ll be the star of the next yartzheit dinner.
          In this week’s Torah portion, we read about, arguably, the most famous man that ever lived, Abraham. The Sages describe our forefather as a charismatic, towering figure who was always ready to lend a helping hand. The hospitality he provided was second to none. His Shabbat table was always filled with guests. Although he was a loner in his monotheistic beliefs, he had backbone and was not afraid to share and spread the word of G-d. By the end of his life he had everything – children, wealth and a good name. Smart, intelligent, cynical individuals like ourselves know reward doesn’t come easy….So how did he do it?
          G-d says, in verse 29 chapter 28 in parshat Vayeira, that He loves Abraham. One has to ask what did He love about him? Perhaps His love was the result that Avraham passed all the tests, including the biggy of attempting to sacrifice his son Yitzchak as commanded by G-d. Maybe it was his chessed (kindness) to other people.
          We, as diligent followers of the Torah as well as opportunists, have to be sensitive enough to discover clues in the Torah that will help us in life. In this case when G-d says that He loves Abraham, we have to emulate those deeds that led G-d to proclaim this strong positive feeling. Perhaps He will love us as well and shower us with goodness both in this world and the next, AMEN!! Hey! Let’s spread the wealth. We have to sieze the opportunity!!
         Rashi (one of the major commentaries of the Torah) explaining the verse above, says that Avraham was able to pass down to his children, especially his son and heir-apparent Yitchak, and many of his students, the message of G-d. This is something that Noach was unable to accomplish to the full extent.
        How was Avraham able to spread the word?
        Rashi expands on the word “Veh-Shamru”-if you watch. Avraham was able to master that. He was able to set limits. This was an important virtue in Avraham and an important principle to apply in life.
        Let’s give a number of examples throughout Avrahams life on how he was able to skillfully use this power of setting limits and drawing the line, (AD KAN).
        Avraham had a nephew Lot, who needed guidance. Of course Abraham was there to give a helping hand. Mr. kindness. The helping hand, though, was serviced for many years. In fact, Lot was the third wheel behind Avraham and his wife Sarah. Avraham was faced with a dilemma. Should he break off ties with Lot? Rav dessler indicates that G-d didn’t speak to Avraham until he pried himself away from his nephew. Apparently his association with Lot was the reason for G-d’s disassociation. Lot was preventing Avraham from reaching a higher spiritual level.
          However Abraham had, without a doubt, a tremendous positive influence on Lot as we will see in parshat Vayeira.
          Therefore he was faced with a difficult decision:
1) to keep his association with Lot at the expense of his own growth…. or 2) leave him cold turkey and live up to his potential.
        Avraham made the decision to leave.
CIRCUMCISION-BRIT MILAH.
        Another example is at the end of this weeks parsha which introduces us to the concept of brit milah – circumcision. One may ask why was it introduced to Avraham? Why not introduce it at Mount Sinai, many years later, like all the other commandments? Why wasn’t introduced to his son Yitzchak? We can start fresh when he reached eight days old.
To get a clearer picture of why Avraham was chosen to be the representative of this commandment we have to explore deeper into the trait of kindness, the trait that Avraham embodied. The Zohar says the “giving” trait found in cheesed-kindness, if taken to an extreme, would inevitably cause one to succumb to illicit relations. Anyone with that super kindness trait is susceptible. As of matter of fact, Yishmael, Avrahams other son, inherited that trait from his father but was not able to control it.
The Sages say Avraham was shalom (perfect/full/complete.) He perfected all his traits except this one. As one naturally realizes, concentration can be most difficult. By commanding Avraham to perform Brit Milah it now made him perfect. Limitation was set on this organ. There is a certain segula, or spiritual merit, found with the ceremony of brit milan, where one’s understanding of Jewish wisdom is increased. Everytime Avraham looked at his circumcision he would realize the limitation on the trait of chessed. It was not only a sign, a covenant with G-d, but a deterent. This courageous act led to having his one true heir, Yitzchak.

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