Spark of Jewish Experience

Receiving the Torah is no simple matter. You have to be ready. You have to believe that he can take the responsibility, you have to believe that you can take on the task of the 613 commandments; it’s important to believe in yourself that you can do it no matter what!! Otherwise, without that “vote of confidence” within you, your resolve will just wither away. You have to say: I was born a Jew and therefore it is ingrained in me to perform what is required, to receive and pass the tradition of our ancestors.

In this week’s parsha we see how G-d injects that vote of confidence to his people. Just fifty days prior to the giving of the Torah, they were slaves. They had no self-worth. It is a tremendous psychologically hurdle to ‘jump’ from the lowest part of society to the highest, to be the “king of the hill”, to reach the point where every nation is looking at you in awe and fear. Yet, G-d does it. How did G-d bolster their vote of confidence?

(Shemot 19, 6) “You shall be to me a kingdom of ministers and a holy nation.” G-d is elevating them from slaves to kings. When a person see’s himself as “significant”, then he will be more confident and thus accept the Torah. This past week our family celebrated the bar mitzvah of our oldest son Yaacov. Similarly, just like our ancestors made the significant jump in accepting the Torah and all the trimmings of being a Jew, a bar mitzvah boy also accepts responsibility in accepting the Torah, mitzvot and all the trimmings of being a Jew.

But there is a looming question. Why is 13 the age where one crosses the threshold of taking on such responsibilities? Does a bar mitzvah boy have the self-confidence to take upon himself the commandments?

Let us explore this concept. The age 13 is around the time when most young adults typically begin to physically mature and reach puberty. Additionally, when a boy turns 13, they are considered to have reached the “age of maturity,” a time when they have developed enough understanding to be responsible for their actions. Therefore, he is called bar mitzvah, which literally means a “son of the commandment,” or a “man obligated to do mitzvahs,” since he is now responsible for keeping the Torah and its mitzvoth. Some explain that, like most other halachic measurements (Jewish law), the fact that the age of maturity is 13 is simply an oral tradition that G d imparted to Moses on Mount Sinai (commonly called Halachah L’Moshe MiSinai).2

There is, in fact, another source from where we know the origin of when maturity, and self-confidence with it, kicks in. The age of da’at-the ability to make decisions is derived from Genesis 34:25, in the Torah’s account of the destruction of the city of Shechem by Shimon and Levi, two of the twelve tribes, in retaliation for the rape of their sister, Dinah. The verse reads: “On the third day… Jacob’s two sons, Shimon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each man took his sword, and confidently attacked the city…” The term “man” (ish) is used to refer to both brothers, the younger of whom, Levi, was exactly thirteen years old at the time.1 Thus we derive that the Torah considers a male of thirteen years to be a “man.”2

However this is a strange way to derive the laws of maturity, patience, and knowledge. Shimon and Levi’s act seems hardly the best example of da’at; Yaacov denounced their actions.3 4 Yaacov’s disproval was amplified when at his deathbed he proclaimed. “Let my soul not enter their council….Their anger is mighty….I will separate them”. This was a harsh statement which Yaccov conveyed to his sons. Yet this is the event that the Torah chooses to teach us the age of reason, maturity, responsibility and commitment to the fulfillment of the mitzvot! Does that make sense?!

We know from life’s experiences that nothing is what it seems. Their actions, although brutal for Jewish standards, while not outwardly approved, received much support among the commentaries and, for that matter, the Torah itself. Yaacov himself did not actually denounce their act, he merely disapproved at the way they did it. Remarkably if we read the verses carefully, the Torah describes a positive reason for their action when we are told “they were distressed” the Torah adds “because an abomination had been done in Israel”. In regard to the trickery, the Torah adds “because he had defiled their sister”. And it notes the same thing in regard to their looting. And as to Yaacov, who complained that they were too hasty, the Torah ends with Levi and Shimon’s reply to Yaacov being “Shall our sister then be made a harlot!”. These statements all come to stress that where there is chillul Hashem – disgrace of G-d, one does not take into account one ‘s subjective matters.

Rabbi Samson Rafael Hirsh strengthens this idea further “Had we not been Jews, the inhabitants of the land would have never permitted themselves to act this way! Only to respect to the Jews do they think everything is permissible and that they can do whatever they want without fear and punishment”

Or Hachaim adds “On the contrary, we will be in greater danger among the nations if they see a single despicable person rule over the daughter of Yaacov and did as he wishes and desired. Now that we responded, the nations will be petrified and will fear us” The Lubavitcher Rebbi answers: As Shimon and Levi replied to Jacob5, the situation that prompted their action did not allow them the luxury of rational consideration, or of its consequences. The integrity of Israel was at stake, and the brothers of Dinah could give no thought to their own person–not to the jeopardy of their physical lives, or to the jeopardy of their spiritual selves by the violence and impropriety of their deed. In the end, their instinctive reaction, coming from the deepest place in their souls–deeper than reason, deeper than all self-consideration–was validated; G d approved their deed and came to their assistance”.6

Now that we have validated the brothers’ actions, let us attempt to understand the nature of Shechem. In so doing we will understand why 13 is the age of self-confidence.

Every word in the Hebrew language is not just a label, but describes the essence of its subject. The word shechem means “segment” or “portion” describes both the person shechem and the place. Each person in Shechem wanted his own portion in life to be significant and not just part of a larger entity. Shechem was a place that influenced its dwellers and those who came traveled to and through it its perimeters would feel that heighten importance and worthiness.

This trait heralds tremendous power. It could be the greatest and worst of all attributes. On the good side the individual is exhorted by Chazzal “the whole world was created just for him”. The feeling of personal worth in this content is extremely valuable in the mitzvah system especially one entering Torah and mitzvoth!! The down side is, however, one can be very destructive. A person who misuses this characteristic becomes completely self-oriented; he feels he must stand up for his principles whatever cost. Arrogance is his game he becomes completely beyond any rebuke or correction. This is the age, bar mitzvah, when one enters da’at-knowledge where it’s vital for a boy to develop a strong sense of personal worth. It’s an age where one leaves the toys behind and starts to appreciate adult topics. For the most part, it’s a very vulnerable time and a jolt of confidence, a jolt of Shechem is needed to build self-confidence, self-esteem to formulate a healthy adult mind. These are the tools that a young adult needs to go out in this world, to do mitzvoth, to be a someone, and to make for himself a portion.