The following are excerpts from the lectures of Rabbi Isaac Oelbaum.
A man waltzes into synagogue one Sunday morning grinning from ear to ear, boasting that “I just came here with my brand new Lexus, it’s parked right in front”. During the course of the services while everybody was standing with their siddurs open, he was busy describing to them how he had bargained with the car dealer and how he got his price, and eventually startling the man by putting all the money down up front. “You should have seen his face when I wrote the check” he said with a snicker. One sure knows how to feel good when purchasing a fancy shmancy car!! Perhaps that is why G-d created friends, just so that one can show off in front of them!
However, as they all walked out of synagogue, he was horrified to discover that someone had carved and scratched on to his front windshield the words MAZAL TOV!!
In tractate Brachot, the Gemara relates an unusual story about Rav Nachman who approached a community eulogizer after he eulogized one individual as being modest. Rav Nachman asked “was he modest when he went to the bathroom?”
Is covering up ones nakedness and being low key in the bathroom a barometer for being modest? That’s news to me! What about reading the New York Times in the bathroom for an extended period of time, is that considered violating the modesty laws in the lavatory? How about just the sports section?! Torah cannot be learned in the bathroom, so one has to read something, No?
In order to properly understand the meaning of the Gemara’s statement, we have to explore modesty-TZNIYUT a little further.
The commentaries say that modesty is extremely important and is actually a form of intelligence, because it resembles G-d’s traits. The Torah discusses an incident regarding Moshe after he saved Yitro’s daughters from the nasty shepherds by the well. Yitro’s daughters came to their father and informed him of what had happened and how they were saved by this unknown and mysterious man.
Yitro’s response was AYO HAISH- where is the man. The fact that the man didn’t come to claim a reward, not bragging about how he protected the damsels in distress, means that he must be from the genealogy of Sarah. Sarah was the Jewish matriarch who modestly stayed in the tent while her husband Avraham hosted the guests, the three angels. In that incident, the Torah uses a similar word to the one Yitro used. The angels asked, “AHYEY SARAH ISHTECHA- where is Sarah your wife?”. They then blessed Avraham and Sarah that, G-d willing, by next year you shall have a boy.
Yitro, knowing this, exclaimed, “don’t leave this man outside, bring him in quickly!!. Perhaps one of you may marry him. After all, the bracha comes from the modesty that Sarah, had shown.” As a side, this is one of the reasons Sarah merited having a son. The Sages emphasize that on Yitzchak’s behalf the whole world stands. And he only came into existence thanks to modesty. That’s the power of modesty.
The Torah teaches us that the whole essence of a bracha is the fact that it’s hidden and modest. To prove this, one can simply observe that God himself remains not revealed. One cannot see G-d and no one ever did, at least not his face. Additionally, we know that there are no open miracles anymore. So too, bracha is best not revealed. The most holy and spiritual things are PNIMI-inward, hidden. Anything that is open and outwardly, one will not find a bracha there. Astonishingly, the Sages say that there is no bracha unless something is under the radar, in other words away from the eye, for perhaps it is the evil eye. A human, every human, has a bracha attached to it, and it is conceived in the confines of a private place. No eye sees the conception of the seed of bracha.
But shouldn’t a bracha (on a fruit, for instance) be said out loud and not concealed?
Yes, the bracha should be recited out loud, however it doesn’t go into affect until the fruit is swallowed, because that part is concealed and only then will the bracha kick in.
In this week’s parsha we read again about Kohanim. In Tractate Yoma the Gemara tells us about an extraordinarily modest woman named Kimchetuh. She was asked, “how did you merit to have seven sons and all served as High Priests? That’s quite an accomplishment!!”
She answered, “I did not let the walls of my house see one speck of my hair uncovered”. WOW! As her reward, her boys will enter the holy of holies, where no one can enter and no one can see. Again, tzniut, modesty. It’s so important. The Kohen Gadol speaks to G-d privately, again in the most modest way. Tzniut, modesty, PNIMIUT, it’s crucial.
The bathroom is the antithesis of PNIMI. It’s the most external act one can experience. Still, Rav Nachman was trying to emphasize that if one is modest and private even in the most external act that a human can do, then and only then he can be labeled modest.
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