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Relationship between parents and children

December 29, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Yissachar Frand , Yossi Bilus,  Yitzchak Aminov and Dr. Abba Goldman

 

 

There are two powerful questions that must be addressed to kick off this article. We all know, or should know, the first. It’s probably the most asked about question pertaining to one of the most famous memorable lines in the Torah. As a matter of fact: when one defines a “dramatic pause” in the Webster’s Dictionary this is it! It’s as dramatic as you can get. However, before we begin, let’s first start with a little background:

 

BACKGROUND

Yosef has become the second in command of the most powerful nation in the world, Egypt. The world is in the midst of a famine and Egypt is the epics-center to purchase food. Egypt has been placed in a very good position of “provider” thanks to Yosef, whose advice, through interpreting Pharaoh’s dream, was dead on target.

As a matter of fact, even Yosef’s brothers traveled to Egypt to purchase food due to the desperate state they were facing.

The brothers, out of jealousy, sold Yosef into slavery against his will, obviously, and have not seen him for twenty two years. As they’re introduced to their long lost brother, the Viceroy, the high in command, who is in charge of distributing food, whom they didn’t recognize, Yosef acts cold to them. They haven’t a clue that it’s him.  As the story develops Yosef congers up a plan placing their youngest brother, Benyamin, in which Yosef shared the same mother, Rachel, and was very close to, in jail. Yosef orchestrated the alleged theft framing his younger brother in order to test the brothers’ loyalty towards Benyamin, hoping they’ve learned their lesson.

 

QUESTIONS

1) After Yosef’s dialogue with his brothers reached its climax, he finally breaks down and says “I am Yosef — Is my father still alive?” [Bereshit 45:3] All the commentaries ask an obvious question: the entire dialogue between Yosef and his brothers was centered on their father. Yaakov had been the constant focus of Yosef’s questions and the brothers’ responses. So why does Yosef ask again if his father is still alive?

2) Once one examines the back and forth tense talk, between Yosef and Yehuda they’ll realize something odd on Yehuda’s defensive attack, the leader of the brothers and personal guarantor that Benyamin will return unscathed back to his father.

As Yehudah is making his impassioned plea to the Viceroy in Egypt (who he did not yet realize was his brother Yosef) to release Binyamin, he made the argument — “How can you not let him go? If his father finds out that he did not return, he will not be able to survive!” The Chiddushei HaRim points out that at that time, Binyamin had 10 children. Why did Yehudah not use the argument — how can you not let Binyamin go, you will leave 10 orphans!! They will not be able to survive without their father?

 

Rabbi Yissachar Frand brings out an unfortunate problem in today’s society.   Many of us can be seduced by the mighty Dollar. As a result some of our children do not receive the love which they need. One may ask. What does making money have to do with loving your children? Their parents are too busy making money by working 12, 14, or 16 hours a day to have time for their children. The parents are using the “land of opportunity” to the maximum at the expense of alienating their children. My mother, an immigrant of this country, would always say their family of five was much happier living in a two room apartment than today’s America where the privileged, each child has a separate wing with their own private bathrooms, but minimum contact with parents. Where is the love? Giving individual attention to each child is vital in their growth. We often hear this from parents when children go in the wrong path. “I don’t understand I provided him with everything”. Yeah, everything but attention!

Rabbi Frand brings an interesting true story, which explains Yosef’s question.

There was once a student whose father had deserted his family. This sort of student often causes a lot of problems for a teacher. He was totally “turned off” to everything. The teacher tried to become close to the child. He invited the child over to his house. Nothing helped. The child just sat there in class and did not participate.

As is unfortunately the case with teachers sometimes, the teacher was prepared to write this child off. “Put him in the back of the class; let him just sit there. Hopefully he will absorb some of what is being taught. I gave it my best shot; there is nothing more I can do.” And so that is what the teacher did.

For about half a year, the child just sat and ‘vegetated’. Finally, the class started Parshat VaYigash. They learned the dialogue between Yosef and the brothers. Then they learned the verse “I am Yosef — is my father still alive?” The Rebbe asked our question to the students — what does Yosef mean by this question?

This child from the back of the classroom, the one who had not participated for half the year, raised his hand and gave this incredibly poignant interpretation: “Yosef is saying, ‘I know that YOUR father is still alive, but is MY father still alive? Has my father given up on me? I have been away from home; I have been in a strange land for 22 years; is MY father still alive? Do I still have a father who cares about ME?'”

That child was not only asking Yosef’s question. He was asking his own question. Sometimes we have children who in different ways and in different forms are asking “Is my father still alive?” “Does my father still care about me?”

Children are very sensitive; they want to be loved by their parents to the highest degree. They are dependent on their mother and father. I would like to share an astonishing feeling I had when my father past away. When he left this world I felt abandoned. Surprisingly, I was forty one and leading my own family!! Even though, I was taking care of him the last ten years of his life I still felt he was taking care of me. My feelings of abandonment, is shared by many.

 We see how super-sensitive one is at forty one; can one imagine a child, a teen?

Rabbi Yossi Bilus brings a story where a friend of the family asked three brothers what was their best part of the trip to Israel. Interestingly, each one had a different answer, even though they are similar in age. One brother said “a trip to the Western Wall”; one said “a trip to Kever Rachel” and the last, sheepishly said “a trip to the mall”.

After carefully examining each trip, the friend of the family discovered on each occasion where the sons had the best time, seemingly the father happened to take each individually on that particular outing and had their own “father and son” time alone. They each received their undivided attention from their father. That is what made it a special moment.

Many children emulate their parents, whether it is at the present time or at a latter age. Perhaps, this is the best sign of endearment; perhaps, this is the optimal sign of respect. Perhaps, this is the highest sign of love.

However there is a major contradiction to what is said above. The Shalo”h Hakodesh writes a concept (which is also found in secular circles): One parent can take care of ten children but ten children cannot take care of one parent. The Chiddushei HaRim finds a source for this idea in this week’s parsha. When Yehudah made his impassioned plea to the Viceroy in Egypt (who he did not yet realize was his brother Yosef) to release Binyamin, he made the argument — “How can you not let him go? If his father finds out that he did not return, he will not be able to survive!” The Chiddushei HaRim points out that at that time, Binyamin had 10 children. Why did Yehudah not use the argument — how can you not let Binyamin go, you will leave 10 orphans!!!  They will not be able to survive without their father? Apparently, says Chiddushei HaRim, 10 children can somehow manage without a father, but a father cannot manage without one of 10 remaining sons.

This concept that a father’s attachment to his children is stronger than the children’s attachment to their father is the source for the Shaloh’s comment and for the similar concept that circulates in the world at large.

Our children love us and respect us, etc., but it is not the same as our love for them. Rabbi Frand once saw a very interesting explanation for this phenomenon. Every single human emotion that exists is something we received from Adam, the first human being. Adam had children and therefore he had in him the emotion of a parent’s love for his children. However, Adam did not have a father. He is the only person in the history of the world who did not have parents. Consequently, the emotion of love of child for parent was something he did not possess. It was an acquired skill developed in later generations, but it never had the strong genetically passed down roots that existed in the emotion of love towards children, which is innate in our personalities.

For this reason, Yehudah recognized that the stronger argument for the release of Binyamin would be “his father can’t survive his loss” rather than “his children will not be able to survive his loss.”

 Dr. Abba Goldman – psychologist from Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim adds, although Yaacov received reassurance from G-d that the genealogy of Yaacov will continue and not assimilate what was a strong incentive to go down to Egypt was reuniting with Yosef. This is the main reason Yaacov was lured to Egypt. Yaacov needed to see his beloved son.

The good Doctor continues; “It’s a natural instinct that kids gravitate towards independence.  Unfortunately, as they build their own lives, the role of dependency tend to reverse. Dr. Goldman says the commandment “Honoring your father and your mother” is not so simple. Many have a misconception about this commandment; it’s the least understood; they think – it primary pertains to children. On the contrary, dealing with old and cranky parents is the big test of “honoring”. However, one must prioritize and not let their “Honoring” impinge, to a large extent, on their relationship with their spouse and children”.

The question is who loves whom more: the parents or the children.

Rav Eliyahu Dessler writes in Michtav Eliyahu – it’s obviously the parents. The parents have given to the children most of their lives and there is a concept “the more you give – the more you love”. Even though there might be a degree of dependency at an old age, however, the parents, by and large have been the caretakers since the inception.

It’s very hard to fulfill the commandment of honoring one’s parents, especially when they’re old and cranky. Especially, when one has the pressure of raising young children, a demanding wife and bills mounting endlessly. Many of us take pride in honoring parents; however, on occasion our patience is tested.

Once, a son took his frustrations to an extreme.

 After his mother’s passing, the son moved the father in with him. He, Baruch Hashem, had a growing family. The father had some medical issues, but the son with the right care took care of it. But juggling family, work and an elderly father, who seemed like was blessed with longevity, became too challenging over the years. The loyal son became very impatient. Medical insurance was not covering all of the old man’s expenses. No matter how prosperous and modern thinking this country can be, it seems like it’s not prepared for the elderly. The son found himself behind the eight ball, in debt.

Pressure makes a person think irrationally. He decided to take some time off. As a child, the father would always take him camping. The stressed out son decided to take his father for a ride to the mountains. Rest and relaxation is therapeutic sometimes. The road was extremely and dangerously narrow and he had to drive carefully. As he was reaching his destination, an impulsive, horrifying idea surfaced.  The son thought, “here is my opportunity” as they were camped at the edge of the mountain. Still he decided to see his father’s face one last time before he commits his act of desperation. He was taken aback seeing his father with a smile. Knowing that his father was a very smart man, he curiously asked, “Pop, why are you smiling?” The father answered back, “I did the same thing to my father”.

The son felt a cold chill as he realized that how one treats one’s parent is how he will be treated. Quickly, he took he father out of danger.

The relationship between parents and children is a very important one. One often mimics their exchanges that they experienced with parents with their own kids therefore it’s very important that one gets it right the first time or we can  see a repeat flaw for generations.

You delivered the mighty into the hands of the weak

December 18, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Berril Wein, Yissachar Frand Noach, Yossi Bilus,  Baruch Dopelt

Chanukah is wonderful! Chanukah is  fun! Lighting the menorah and spinning the dreidel is always enjoyable! As a matter of fact, it has been pointed out that this is in keeping with Jewish practice. For some mystical reason, Jews keep this “Rabbinic” holiday with a tenacious loyalty. The 1991 JNF Jewish Population Survey found that of 5.5 million Jews in America more than 3.5 million have no synagogue affiliation. Yet, more than 74% celebrate Chanukah. Only later they may ask, “What’s Chanukah?”
One reason for this phenomenon may be that the Mitzvah of Chanukah is for “each person and his household”. There are no grand social production or central authority, no dues, fees, or bureaucracies to outdo. One only needs to have lived in a Jewish home and there is likely a happy Chanukah memory planted there.

 However, there perhaps might be something more deeper than that. Lets explore why Chanukah is so popular. There is an obvious question that comes up every year about how the holiday always falls on the Shabbat when the parsha we read is Miketz. Conceivably, if we find the common denominator – Chanukah’s popularity will become more clear.
  The Torah reveals to us as we open the parsha that Paroah has a dream. He is very disturbed by this dream wherein seven lean cows eat seven fat cows. None of the chachamim – intelegencia of Egypt can interpret the dream for him, and this troubles him even more.
  Even if we assume that the Egyptian Pharoahs were much more superstitious than modern man, it seems rather odd that a head of state should get so upset about a crazy dream. What is so upsetting about seven lean cows swallowing seven fat cows?
 Can one imagine what would the Press do if they got hold of the story that Obama had a bad dream and is very troubled by it.
The late night talk show hosts would have a field day!! Imagine!! ” Yeah, seven skinny congressmen swallowing seven fat congressmen- there goes Obama-care”.
 Please no garlic before you go to sleep; that is the cause of bad dreams. This opens up flood gate of nighttime medications usage. One can just imagine Nightquil stock rise to an all time high.
 In order to understand the great concern Pharoah had for his bad dream, a little piece of history has to be presented for us to realize the pulse of society and how it changed due to the Jewish influence.
   In the late 1800s there arose to prominence a highly influential German philosopher by the name of Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900). No serious thinker has done more harm to the Jewish people than Friedrich Nietzsche, whose writings were an important inspiration for Adolph Hitler and Nazism. Yet far from being an antisemitic, Nietzsche was one of the most pro-Jewish German writers of his time. Though debatable if Friedrich Nietzsche was anti-Semitic, no one debates that the Nazis used his writings to create the most lethal ideological brew in history – one leading to world war and the annihilation of 6 million Jews.
 What we will take out of his philosophy, for our purposes, is what he wrote pertaining to Christianity. He begins by painting Judaism as the root of all evil.   Nietzsche pointed out that the despised Christian religion had its roots in Judaism. Ideas such as “Love thy neighbor,” “turn the other cheek,” “be charitable” contradicted the idea of the Survival of the Fittest and the Übermensch. It was for the weak.
 “All that has been done on earth against ‘the nobles,’ the ‘mighty, the ‘overlords,’…is as nothing compared to what the Jews did against them: the Jews, that priestly people who were only able to obtain satisfaction against their enemies and conquerors through a radical revaluation of the latter’s values, that is, by an act of the most spiritual revenge….It was the Jews who…dared to invert the aristocratic value-equation…saying ‘the wretched alone are the good ones, the poor, the helpless, the lowly….”
 Nietzsche’s Philosophy was nothing new; he didn’t re-invent the wheel. Ancient world believed ” the strong survives and the week dies”. This belief was the way of the world.
   Rabbi Yissachar Frand  enlightens us through the teachings of Rav Shimon Schwab (1908-1995) that  Pharaoh’s whole dominion, like that of any dictator, was based on the premise that the mighty will dominate the weak. “I have the troops. I have the force. Therefore I can impose my will, because no one can do anything against me.” No one can utter a word.
Pharaoh was so bothered by this dream because it portrayed a situation wherein the weak dominated the powerful. It was the seven lean cows that swallowed the seven fat cows. He understood that as not just a silly dream, but as a terrible omen from heaven. He saw this as a Divine message that his dominion was not secure despite his power. This message shook him to the core, for it undermined the premise of his whole monarchy.
Rab Schwab further points out that Parshas Miketz always coincides with Chanukah. This is a constant of the Jewish calendar. It is not just a coincidence. One of the major themes of Chanukah is the idea that “the mighty fell into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few”, as we say in the Al HaNissim prayer.
  This is what we taught the world. It’s an appealing concept that perhaps the underdogs can prevail. The Miracle Mets that rocked the Baseball world in 1969,  Israel, a tiny country winning the ’67 War against the compiling Arab nations. There was no logic in their victories.
 The Macabees proved that the underdog can win. They proved that the laws of nature is not the prevailing last word. That there is a G-d and He can, at will, say” hey Mack, not so fast. I run the show. It’s my world”. He can proclaim “the fly will crush the elephant”; the Jewish people will win over the strongest army in the world and that oil can burn eight days rather than one.
 The Macabees didn’t put their lives in danger for land or for a better materialistic lifestyle. They endangered themselves because the Jews’ primary essence “the Torah” was at stake. This is what they fought for; this is what they deemed important that they would risk their lives. The Torah is what makes us – Jews! And the fact that we defended it, G-d made us victorious!
 We see the concept “G-d’s will prevails throughout the Torah” whether it be David over Goliath or even in our subject matter of Yossef and his brothers. Yossef survives against all odds and rises all the way to the top of the world. As he climbs the latter of success he even saves his brothers from the famine.
 This is what is so appealing about Chanukah. Perhaps we feel for the underdog  because we are underdogs ourselves!!! Perhaps deep down in every Jewish soul they believe that against all of nature – G-d will change their fortune. Perhaps….perhaps, they believe in G-d.

 

introduction to Chanukah

December 9, 2014 Holidays No comments

Introduction to Chanukah
Once one lets the Jeanie is out of the bottle and one knows once its out it’s pretty hard to put it back in. There was one incident which demonstrated this which broke the armor of the Jewish way of life. This happened when Alexander the great came to inspect his new conquest. The Jews were naturally scared; after all we Jews don’t have the best track record of being liked by the rest of the world.

Upon entering the gate of the city Alexander did something very unusual and down right shocking, he got off his horse and prostrated to one of the Jewish members of the welcoming community, Yochanan the High Priest. Asked by his advisers why he bowed down to the Jew. He answered “I always saw an angel before I went to battle that led me to victory and that’s the face”.

Alexander was kind to the Jews. He eased the restrictions and hardship imposed on them. However one of the conditions is to name for one year all new born boys Alexander. This opened the door for other Greek names, language and culture.

After Alexander’s death the world was left in a state of chaos. The Greek Empire was split. The south, led by Tol’me, always tried to persuade Greek culture on the Jews. The North was led by Salacious who attempted to persuade by force of arms. The North and the South agreed on everything except where to draw the line and that line happened to be Israel.

Greek the choice culture

The Greek culture slowly started to seep into Jewish society. When Jews embrace a society it becomes dangerous. Here the Jews became more Greek then the Greeks, which always happens in our history. The reason is we have to prove ourselves, “super Germans”, “super American”, or “super Russians”, as an example of just a few ways that Jews try to fit in to the society around them.

Mityavnim- Jews that adopted Greek live, other wise known as Hellenism. Hellenism adopted Greek culture as a way of life. These Jew were ready to give up Judaism. Forty percent of Jews, most of the affluent class were affected. Correspondence among these Jews was in Greek. The Mityavnim men even had cosmetic surgery to put back the piece of foreskin because everything in the culture was nude, bathhouses sports. So these Jews were embarrassed. WE WANT TO BE GREEKS!!

Greeks would have won the battle by default but they over stepped themselves. In 190 B.C. the North gained the upper hand. Their tactics were always “by force”. Jews are a stubborn people, the most secular Jew if forced not to follow the Torah will turn around and say “I’m going to show you I can be a Jew”.

The Greeks passed very oppressive laws; they banned Shabbat; a Jewish bride on her wedding night had to live first with a Greek officer; they banned circumcision etc.

The Battle

In 165 B.C. a group stood up to the Greeks. Matistyahu the high priest lived in the town of Molbene began the uprising. The Greeks came to town and placed a pig on the Alter. They asked for a Jewish volunteer to proceed with this humiliating ceremony. One unfortunate Jew volunteered where Matisyahu proceeded to killed him. This dare by a Jew triggered a battle which escalated into a war between the mighty Greek army and the Macabees. An army which never exceeded more than 12,000 men.

Why is lighting the Menorah the symbol of Chanukah? How does it relate to the Jews winning the war?

The minority won over the majority; that’s what we read about the victory. In essence this is what lighting the menorah’s all about. A little light can light up a whole room and more. The few Jews were able to beat the most powerful nation in the world. The Greeks represent darkness while the Jews, the righteous Jews, represent the light. The Hellenist who supported the Greek army soon after the war were executed. One cannot see the light if there is no darkness. A bulb lit in the day is irrelevant. This is the reason we must only light at night. The darker it is the more intense the light. Darkness, many times, is confusion. We have to feel with all our heart the miracle and to show the world through lighting it in public the clear light; the power of G-d

The Macabees fought guerrilla warfare in caves. The tactics was orchestrated brilliantly by the Jews. The Greek army was worn out, deflated. The Jews destroyed three armies. Eliezer, one of Matisyahu’s sons fought a battle using elephants. The Fortress of Antiyachous, the last great battle led by brother Shimon starved the Greeks out. Shimon’s memorable moment was destroying the Greek Idol Zeus into million pieces. The victory was the spirit of the Jewish people

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

December 9, 2014 Uncategorized No comments

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

this article was constructed from the insights of Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt, Rosh Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim, Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus

Each one of us had a favorite teacher who had a great deal of influence on us. Some actually had more than a few teachers over the years that fall under that “favorite” category. When we look back, with a certain fondness about them, a memorable smile breaks out.
However, one has to ask himself, has this person actually made a difference when a crucial decision came into play? Were they there, in our conscience, when the game was on the line? Was their teaching tested and we were able to take their words of wisdom to the finish line and declare “I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”?

YOSEF THE DREAMER

In this week’s parsha, we find Yosef telling over to his brothers the dreams he had. The Torah’s description of the dreams and the reaction of Yosef’s brothers are quite puzzling.
First and foremost, to say his brothers weren’t exactly thrilled about him and his dreams would be considered a huge understatement. They were contemplating killing him as a result.
But there is a substantial lesson that can be learned from this story that is applicable in our everyday life. Let’s examine the verses more carefully and get a deeper understanding.
The first dream that Yosef had involves sheaves. Yosef tells his brothers that their sheaves gathered around and bowed down to his sheaves.
The second dream was basically the same theme; Yosef revealed to them that the sun and the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.
The brothers were angry and responded to the first dream by saying “Do you want to rule over us?” while there was no response from them after the second one.
The Torah states that the brothers hated him after the first dream was revealed while the scripture says the brothers were jealous after the second one.
Why was the reaction to each dream any different from the other?
What’s the difference between the two dreams?
Referring to the second dream it says “His father took it to heart”.
Why did his father take the second dream more serious?
In the first sequence about sheaves or stalks as its focal point, the scripture is hinting to a materialistic dominance. Its message, for the future, is that the brothers will depend on Yosef for their sustenance.
When someone sees his friend that’s financially more stable then he, he often questions why this is so. “He’s not better than me. We’re the same in many ways. Perhaps that’s just plain old mazal.” However, human nature is for hatred to develop as a result
The brothers knew that dreams for the most part are a reflection of the sub-conscience. They concluded, “This is what he’s thinking of us. He wants to be our boss”.
The brothers, though, took the second dream a bit more serious. The scenario of the sun, moon and the stars is a spiritual concept. Here, they realized that it’s not a reflection of the sub-conscience but a spiritual revelation. Therefore they were jealous of Yosef’s motivational and spiritual abilities. There is a Talmudic concept of SHTIKA KEH HODA’A – silence is a form of admittance.
Yaakov, their father, although he did not admit it, was startled by the second dream. The reason is that only Yaakov knew that in the heavens they referred to him as the sun.

It seams like the Torah is hinting that Yosef possessed certain abilities, which perhaps came through personal teachings from his father, as a gift from the heavens, or a combination of both. Apparently, life is such that the narrative will soon reveal that this gifted person will soon be tested.

In order to fully understand the magnitude of Yosef’s test, we have to examine a very interesting part of our Jewish history.
Yeush was born in the midst of troublesome days in the land of Judea, in the year 3055 (after Creation). He became king at the age of six!! (3061). The Jewish nation was divided into two kingdoms. On the throne, which once belonged to King David and King Solomon, sat a ruthless and cruel queen. Her name was Athalya, the daughter of Queen Jezebel, the Phoenician princess whom the wicked King Ahab of the Northern Jewish Kingdom of the Ten Tribes had married. In an effort to bring the two Jewish kingdoms into friendlier relations, the two royal houses intermarried. The crown prince Joram, the son of King Jehoshaphat of Judea, married Athalyah the daughter of Ahab and Jezebel.
After many heavy, underhanded, dirty and deadly maneuvering, Athalyah took control of the Monarch. One of her decree’s to assure she will rule undisputedly was that she resolved that there should be no heir to the throne of Judea from the House of David. She ordered the death of all the members of the royal house of King David, and established herself as the supreme ruler of the land of Judea. She surrounded herself with friends from Phoenicia and ruled with an iron hand, spreading a reign of terror in the land.
Athalyah felt secure in her position, believing that the royal house of David was extinct. But she was wrong, for G-d had promised that the line of King David would never be broken. Ahaziah’s youngest son, whom Athalyah had believed had been murdered with the other male members of the royal family, had been saved from his bloodthirsty grandmother. He was still a baby, and his name was Yeush. He was saved by Jehosheba, a sister of King Ahaziah and the wife of the High Priest Yehoyada. Astonishingly, the one year old prince was hidden in the Bet Hamikdash, above a room by the “Kodash Hakadoshim” and brought up, secretly, by his pious and G-d fearing uncle and aunt.
For six years Athalyah ruled uncontrolled, dealing harshly with the believers in G-d. During all this time, Yehoyada, the wise and pious High Priest, nursed in his heart the secret hope for the future of his people that was centered around the last member of David’s dynasty. Yehoyada had many friends and followers, who, like himself, had remained faithful to the pure worship of G-d, and who longed for the day when the hateful Athalyah could be overthrown, and the House of David reinstated on the throne of the Holy Land.
When little Yeush was seven years old, Yehoyada decided that the time had come to liberate Judea from the unpopular foreign woman who had desecrated the throne of David.
The coup attempt was successful with no resistance whatsoever. Athalya was executed and Yeush became king. He reigned for forty years, and was one of the outstanding kings of Judea.
However, after Yehoyada died, Yeush fell under the influence of the wrong people and was led astray into a life of ease and luxury. He abandoned the pure worship of One G-d, and began to indulge in the service of the Baal. Yeush fell so low that shockingly he killed the great Prophet Zacharia, who happened to be the son of Yehoyada, the same person who saved his life, the one who had nurtured, taught and cared for him through the years!!
How can you bite the hand that feeds you?
How can Yeush fall so low after the death of his teacher?
We see a similar situation after the death of Shimi ben Gaira the teacher and mentor of the wisest man who ever lived, King Shlomo. Shlomo began to slip and make errors in judgment after his death.
We learn a valuable lesson about communication and teaching. There are basically two ways one can convey the valuable message:
LEHOROT- giving instructions
LILMOD- teaching until one stands on his/her own two feet
It’s not ideal to memorize the manual one has to understand the content.
Yosef was tested with one of the most difficult situations in the history of physical temptations. He was being seduced, unsuccessfully though, with the beautiful wife of his employer on a daily basis.
The boss’s wife, eshet Potifar, would up the ante at every occasion until it reached a boiling point where she forcefully tried to have relations with him. Yosef at the moment of truth envisioned his father, his teacher. This motivated, or I should say distracted, him from pursuing sinning with a married woman.

Yaakov successfully taught Yosef the valuable lesson of standing on his own feet. It’s not enough to be gifted. One has to use these skills properly. This is the spiritual greatness of Yosef.
There was a huge epidemic where many Jews were killed at the time of King David because he counted the people. For this reason we have a tradition to never count individual Jews. The Sages teach us that the reason there was death and suffering was because the Temple wasn’t built during David’s time.
Why is it the people’s fault? It was David that had blood on his hands and G-d wouldn’t allow him to build it. Why blame the people?
The Sages say, “Granted. David wasn’t worthy. However the people were. The nation of Israel delayed the building. They should have voiced their opinion ” Why don’t we have a temple?”.and “Let’s start a petition!!” ” They should have began some grass roots. One friend persuading another and perhaps one farmer from the Galil would be responsible in starting the building process.
Rav Henoch always would say “There is permission in one not using his brains”. It’s imperative that a Jew internalizes what he learns and who knows? Perhaps one may discover a way to bring the Mashiach quicker.
There was a college Professor who relayed a story that many years ago there was a psychological case study of inner-city ghetto schools where they would interview 200 students. The motive of the test was to predict, through mathematical analysis, the outcome of these students. As one can expect, many of the student came from broken, one-parent homes.
The result wasn’t very promising that these students would amount to anything.
Twenty years later, this Professor, who happened to be one of those students, was curious to know how these students turned out.
After an extensive research of tracking them down He was astonished to discover how off the mark the study was. 80% of the students were living a productive life.
The professor decided to probe deeper into how these students beat the odds. He interviewed each one and found a common denominator, which was one particular teacher that they all liked.
He was curious to meet this teacher, although twenty years latter he didn’t think she was still alive. Nevertheless after researching further he tracked her down at a particular nursing home. She was in her eighties. The professor went to visit the teacher. He asked her “What was your key to success?” She said “I tried to instill in them a sense of self. I had a motivating slogan “No matter what, you can do it”. These students and Yosef had this in common. They can honestly say that the influence their teachers had on them made a difference, especially when it counted. They can say with full assurance “”I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”

What does dignity have to do with me being a good tipper?

December 7, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Yochanan Zweig, Yossi Bilus, Chaim Shmuelevitz z’l, Yitzchak Aminov, Dr. Aba Goldman
Rabbi Yitzhak Aminov is, currently, a prominent Rabbi in a Jewish community in Israel. In the late 1960’s he began to travel to New York to fundraise for his Yeshiva. Considering the time constraints, fundraising requires one to frequently leapfrog from one appointment to another. Occasionally, one gets lucky and receives a ride from the donors themselves, yet at times one would need to travel by taxi to their next appointment.
 Rabbi Aminov,  a reserved and well mannered man was puzzled when he was frequently received with anger at the end of the rides by the cab driver. ” I don’t understand it; I would pay the required amount; I would always remain quiet and not ask the driver any questions of why he took this route as opposed to another. Perhaps I didn’t take the money fast enough out of my wallet? Can it be that  New Yorkers flare up quicker then others over trivial things?
One day, it all made sense to me, I was sitting at the counter space at Diamond Dairy, a restaurant in the  diamond district, when I noticed a friend, who was sitting by my side,  leaving some money on the table where then the waitress quickly shuffled it in her patch by her waist side. I asked him why  are you paying the  waitress as well as the cashier? He answered back “that’s a tip”.
 Now I realized why the taxi drivers were so upset, I left them with no tip”

When wealthy Americans brought home the practice of tipping from their European vacations in the late 19th century, their countrymen considered it bribery. State legislatures quickly banned the practice. But restaurateurs, giddy at the prospect of passing labor costs directly to customers, eventually convinced Americans to accept tipping. However, the concept of tipping was not accustomed in the Israeli society, apparently, till much later.
  It’s funny but some societies tip before they get their food or for that matter before their even seated. Unfortunately, that is the only way they would receive any   service. However that practice is more considered a bribe then a tip.

“…you shall not send him empty-handed; you shall adorn him with gifts…”(15:13,14)After six years of slavery, the Torah requires that the Jewish slave be set free. Additionally, he should not go out empty-handed. Rather, his master should furnish him with gifts of significant value. What is the rationale behind obligating a person to give a gift? Clearly, this is not his compensation, for the Torah requires that the slave be paid in full up front.

Why is it the accepted practice to tip for certain services, while for others it is not? For example, if a person checks in his luggage curbside, he leaves a tip with the porter. However, if he checks his luggage in at the counter, he does not tip the attendant. Similarly, one tips a barber, but not a cashier. The reason is as follows: When someone does a personal service for us, to a certain extent, he has been demeaned. It is for personal service, therefore, that we tip. The tip is the means by which we restore dignity to the person serving us; it shows our appreciation for what he has done for us.  After all, the porter humiliated himself by picking up our heavy suitcases and shlepping them all over the place. The waiter removed our dirty plates after we ate so nicely.

Why is dignity so important?

 We learn how important dignity is from G-d’s  sensitivity to one of the most wicked individuals that ever lived, Bilam.
Balak, the king of Moav, sends a delegation to persuade Bilam to go and curse the Jews. Excited at the opportunity, Bilam, however, consults with G-d, Who tells him not to go. Bilam, though, makes it seem to the delegation that he wasn’t going because it’s beneath his dignity to go with such representation. He wants a  more important and prominent delegation to pry him out of his comfortable settings. Bilam didn’t let anyone know that G-d disapproves of cursing the Jews. Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz says: “A carefull reading of the verse shows G-d gave two reasons disassociating himself with Balak’s emissaries .The first, astonishingly, was indeed to protect Bilam’s dignity, while only the second was… not to curse the Jews.
But who is Bilam that G-d has to protect his dignity ? Why protect the dignity of a low-life ? Reb Chaim points out that even the most low and despicable individual is not to be humiliated more than is absolutely nessesary. The stature and importance of Man -created in G-d’s image-is so great that sensitivity has to be applied even to the wicked Bilam . G-d set aside his own honor in order to preserve the dignity of Bilam. The Sages say that Bilam’s donkey was killed so that people shouldn’t say this is the animal that humiliated Bilam. “I CAN’T MOVE BECAUSE THE ANGEL IS IN FRONT OF ME, HELLO !!! EVEN THIS ANIMAL CAN SEE, GET WITH THE PROGRAM, BOSS” the donkey opened his mouth and spoke out to Bilam. What a miracle…A talking donkey!!! Doesn’t it remind you of the talking horse, Mr. Ed? WILBUR !! Hey, talking animals are hard to find. Even if the animal would have remained alive it would have brought a tremendous  sanctification of G-d’s name. People would have pointed to the donkey and proclaimed “G-d wonders and justice”. It would have been living testimony of G-d’s creation and control of the world. However the dignity of man would have suffered severely and therefore the animal had to be put to death. The same principle applies for any person killed for having relations with animals. The Torah says the animal should be put to death as well. What did the poor animal do besides being an uncooperative participant?  People would point out ” this animal and so and so…..”

We had discussed many times the importance of offering guests chibud kal-light refreshment.  There is a fascinating Rashi in parshat “Va’Yechi” which discusses the importance of greeting a guest with a smile. Seeing the white teeth from a smile is better than offering a tall glass of milk, which is also white. The tip will not be appreciated if it’s given grudgingly and with a frown. Here we see even if no money and refreshment were  presented, just a smile… the soul of the guest is satisfied and dignity is restored..
 I recently asked a neighbor how his son, who became a junior counselor for the first time this past summer faired with tips. Counselors similar to waiters, for the most part, only get compensated for their work through tips. The father took the concept of dignity even to a higher sensitive level. He said, with a disappointed voice, “my son received the full amount of money that was projected, however, no note was put into the envelope stating thank you. It seemed like they just put the money in the envelope because they were obligated”.
  Dr. Goldman brings up a very crucial observation. The most abused people, in terms of dignity, are children. Parents often humiliate kids in front of other parents or their children’s friends.  One should know the humiliation has an everlasting affect on the child. If a parent thinks that a child is just a child and doesn’t have the capability to get truly offended…think again! A parent cannot even receive forgiveness from the child for reason that he is not of age, doesn’t have the power, according to Jewish law to forgive.  The good Doctor gives a common example. After services in Beit Haknesset (shul) on Shabbat, we often speak to our friends, sometimes at length, where our child is pulling us out of boredom. We, then react in a negative way towards the child. If we were with an adult guest, instead of the child, would we still have a lengthy conversation with our friend?  Here too… the child’s dignity has been marked.
 We even offer dignity to the sotah, the unfaithful wife, who would deserve death, had there been witnesses to her sin. Yet, when there are no witnesses, every attempt is made to have her confess and be saved. She is harassed continuously and moved from place to place in the Temple courtyard, all for the purpose of causing her to confess and be saved from a horrible death.

 One of the major aspects of interpersonal communication according to the Torah is to make people feel good. Whether it be by tipping or just a smile and a good morning, the action restores dignity which is sorely needed by each individual.
 The Torah requires that we give parting gifts to the Jewish slave, since, for six years he has been at our beck and call, giving us the highest level of personal service that one Jew can give another. We are obligated, therefore, to restore his dignity… We hope that dignity is restored within him and the family structure will return when he’s back to the level of equality status

What method is best in dealing with the goyim?

December 5, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilus, Samson Rafael Hirsch z’l,  Berril Wein, Gedalia Shorr z’l, Noach Isaac Oelbaum and Dr. Abba Goldman

An Israeli Iron Dome operator is claiming that he witnessed ‘the hand of G-d’ diverting an incoming Hamas rocket into the sea.

The commander claims that the Divine intervention stopped the death of hundreds of Israeli citizens.

 

Israel’s Iron Dome system allows it to shoot down incoming rockets or mortars headed toward major population centers in Israel.

“Israel Today”-translated a report from a Hebrew-language news site, which carried the man’s report after about an incoming rocket headed toward Tel Aviv.

The commander recalled: ‘A missile was fired from Gaza. Iron Dome precisely calculated [its trajectory].

 

‘We fired the first [interceptor]. It missed. Second [interceptor]. It missed. This is very rare. I was in shock.

The defense system has been highly effective in the current round of violence between Israel and Hamas militants in the Gaza Strip – Israeli officials say it has a success rate as high as 90 percent.

 

The commander explains that with ‘just four seconds’ until the missile landed the military warned emergency services to be on standby.

‘Suddenly, Iron Dome (which calculates wind speeds, among other things) shows a major wind coming from the east, a strong wind that … sends the missile into the sea. We were all stunned. I stood up and shouted, ‘There is a G-d!,’ he said.

‘I witnessed this miracle with my own eyes. It was not told or reported to me. I saw the hand of G-d send that missile into the sea.’

Iron Dome uses radar, advanced tracking technology and anti-missile batteries to follow the trajectory of an incoming rocket or mortar and determine if it is headed for a major population center.

 

If an urban area is threatened, interceptors are fired to detonate in the air in close proximity to the missile.

 

Projectiles not posing a threat are allowed to fall in empty fields.

The system targets short-range rockets with a range between two miles and 45 miles; interceptors cost as much $100,000 a piece.

Created by Israel’s Rafael Advanced Defense Systems, Iron Dome has enjoyed strong U.S. technological and financial support.

President Barack Obama signed a bill granting an additional $225 million in U.S. taxpayer dollars for Israel’s Iron Dome missile defense system.

The U.S. has provided hundreds of millions of dollars for Iron Dome in the past.

The new package is intended to replenish Israel’s capabilities.

Congress approved the money before lawmakers left for their annual summer break. Obama signed the bill in the late afternoon in the Oval Office with a handful of photographers present.

 

Throughout history we Jews had to endure, on occasion, a great deal of persecution from the nations of the world. At times the goyim are peaceful, however, at times, with no apparent reason, they can show their vicious hatred, unexpectedly.

In this week’s parsha we discover methods in how our forefather, Yaakov, dealt with such adversity.

 

The Odd Couple – Oscar and Felix, Abbot and Costello, and Laurel and Hardy, had contrasting personalities which resulted in tremendous amount of unproductive mishap. Apparently, contrary to those guys, it was designed in the heavens that our forefather – Yitzchak’s sons, Yaakov and his brother – Eisav, two opposites, with their individual tremendous talents, were destined to enhance the spiritual level of the world to such an extent that the Mashiach was to arrive in their time. Eisav was supposed to be the fourth father to complement the four mothers. He was an “Ish Tzayid” – a hunter, meaning his method was to attract the average Joe with his charisma and trap him, to bait and entice him to pursuit G-d. Yaakov’s task, on the other hand, was to elevate the high level of goodness, the tzadikim of the generation, even higher.

 

Eisav failed to accomplish his task leaving Yaakov the one to perform his job of pursuit of excellence as well as Eisav’s job of accomplishing by deception.

 

The Zohar comments on the verse “And afterwards his brother came out and his hand was holding on to the heel of Eisav; and his name was called Yaakov” [Bereshis 25:26]. The Zohar states that Eisav is compared to the Original Snake (nachash kadmoni). The force in this world that represents the Original Snake that tricked Adam and Chava into eating from the Tree of Knowledge, the personification of that Snake in this world, is Eisav.

How does the Torah tell us to deal with that Original Snake? “And you will strike him in the heel” [3:15]. Against the powers of that Snake, you will not be able to make a frontal attack. To be successful against him, you must grab him by the heel, from behind. This is the only way to deal with the Snake and with Eisav.

 

The Zohar says that when the verse, which we read in last week’s parsha, tells us here that Yaakov’s hand was holding Eisav’s heel, the Torah is setting the stage and is telling us how Yaakov — in the future — will have to deal with Eisav. He is going to have to deal with him by attacking at the heel; he is going to have to deal with him, sometimes, deceitfully and secretly. That is the only way one can deal with that Snake.

 

This is what our Sages mean when they say (on the verse [Samuel II 22:27] “With a pure one, You show Yourself pure; but with a perverse one, You deal crookedly.”) that you cannot always be upfront and straightforward with a person who is a liar. Even Yaakov, the man of Truth, has a mandate from the Torah, that the way to deal with Eisav is by ‘heel,’ which is connoted in Yaakov’s name.

 

But, points out Rav Elie Munk, Yaakov undergoes two name changes in the Torah. First, Yaakov is changed to Yisrael. Rash”i, over there, says that ‘Yaakov’ refers to a person who waits in ambush, but there will come a time when you will be called ‘Yisrael’ — connoting an officer and a prince. You will then be able to deal with Eisav, no longer deceitfully, but as an equal.

 

However, we find, that even after Yaakov was called Yisrael, the Torah still, sometimes refers to him as ‘Yaakov’ and sometimes refers to him as ‘Yisrael.’ Why? Because Yaakov can not yet totally abandon the practices of ‘Yaakov’. Throughout Jewish history, there were times when we as a people had to fall back on the tactics of ‘Yaakov’ and could not go with the name ‘Yisrael.’ When we are surrounded by 140 million people wishing to destroy us, we cannot always go with the ‘high-road’ behavior. We have to come back to the practices of ‘Yaakov.’

 

In the End of Days, however, our Sages tell us that Yaakov will go from the name of Yaakov and Yisrael to the name of Yeshurun, meaning straight (from the word ‘yashar’). When the nations of the world will finally come to recognize the greatness of Israel, then Yaakov can be transformed into the name of Yeshurun and will no longer have to deal with Eisav with deceit and tricks.

 

This is what Yeshaya HaNavi means [Isaiah 40:4] when he says “… and the crooked will be made straight…” [v’haya ha’akov l’mishor]. Rav Munk says this refers to the name Yaakov becoming the name Yeshurun. We will abandon the practices which were forced upon us, those of ‘Yaakov’ and will strictly conduct ourselves according to the practices of ‘Yeshurun’ (straightness).

 

In this week’s parsha we find the guidelines of how to deal with the enemy when they are knocking on your door potentially in a hostile manner.

After escaping from the wicked Lavan, Yaakov and his family face another challenge.

To get home, they must first pass through the land of Eisav, Yaakov’s violent brother. As Yaakov well knows, Eisav has been plotting to kill him for many years.

So Yaakov prepares a brilliant three-part plan that teaches us how to deal with bullies like Eisav.

 

First, Yaakov prays to G-d to protect him and his family.

Second, Yaakov sends messengers to Eisav with pleasant words and valuable gifts, to let Eisav know that he wants peace.

Third, in case all else fails, Yaakov prepares to fight his brother if he has to.

 

DIPLOMACY OR IMMEDIATE TOUGH ACTIONS

When the Romans colonized the land of Israel over 2000 years ago, there was a heated debate what method to use in dealing with the occupiers. Caligula, the Emperor of Rome at the time, in an act of egotistical lunacy, placed statues of himself throughout Jerusalem. Shamai’s followers, one of two philosophies being observed by the Jews, at the time, defamed the statues at every opportunity causing an uproar among the Roman authorities.

Hillel, the other philosophy being observed, believed that Jews should not make such a raucous of all these offensive situations and play a more diplomacy game. Hillel’s approach was predominantly practiced, for the most part, throughout Jewish history. However though, we have seen, in our time especially, a approach similar to Shamai.

Interestingly, I came across a fellow brother who works for AIPAC which practices the Hillel approach perfectly and effectively.

 

American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) ) is a lobbying group that advocates pro-Israel policies to the Congress and Executive Branch of the United States. Describing itself as “America’s Pro-Israel Lobby”, AIPAC has more than 100,000 members, seventeen regional offices, and “a vast pool of donors.” It has been called “the most important organization affecting America’s relationship with Israel,” and

one of the most powerful lobbying groups in the United States. The group does not raise funds for political candidates itself, but helps organize to channel money to candidates, AIPAC describes itself as a bipartisan organization, and bills it lobbies for in Congress are always jointly sponsored by both a Democrat and Republican.

AIPAC’s stated purpose is to lobby the Congress of the United States on issues and legislation related to Israel. AIPAC regularly meets with members of Congress and holds events where it can share its view.

Most members of congress are not very proficient in foreign affairs. They basically cater to the needs of their district which consists of local matters. AIPAC educates these congressmen providing the real truth about Israel.

 

AIPAC influences lawmakers:

* matching an AIPAC member with shared interests to a congressperson/senator to serve as a contact to them;

* “carefully curated”, “lavish” trips to Israel for legislators and other opinion-makers, all expenses paid for by AIPAC’s charitable arm. In 2005 alone, more than 100 members of Congress visited Israel, some multiple times.

* cultivating potential politicians such as student council presidents. At colleges it provides “political leadership training” to undergraduate student groups. This is an effort to “build a stronger pro-Israel movement among students on and off campuses nationwide”.

* sympathy for Israel among the general public.

 

AIPAC executive director – Howard Kohr appeared before the House Committee on Appropriations’ Foreign Operations subcommittee and requested that Israel receive $2.775 billion in military aid in fiscal year 2010, as called for in the 2007 Memorandum of Understanding between the US and Israel that allocates $30 billion in aid for the Jewish state over 10 years.

 

During the Gaza conflict, AIPAC has made a priority of sending a message of bipartisan congressional support for all of Israel’s actions. Pro-Israel resolutions passed by unanimous consent carry weight, but not nearly so much as military funding. During the fighting, Israel has relied on the Iron Dome system, a U.S.-funded missile defense that has largely neutralized Hamas’s rockets. Although the U.S. was scheduled to deliver $351 million for the system starting in October, AIPAC wanted more money right away. On July 22nd, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel had sent a letter to Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader, seeking an immediate payment of $225 million. The project Iron Dome is to be continued uninterrupted!!

 

AIPAC is influential; AIPAC has helped their brothers in Israel; AIPAC is greatly responsible for the Iron Dome project; AIPAC has done it all by diplomacy…….THE HILLEL WAY!! This is diplomacy at its best; the Jewish way at its finest.

However, diplomacy, at times, has not always been the Jewish way. We see, further, in this week’,s parsha, Yaakov’s daughter, Dina, is raped by Shechem, leader of the town. The town’s people cover up the crime and protect it’s leader.

After Shechem reaches out to Yaakov’s children to make peace, and propose intermarriage between each other, Levi and Shimon respond by telling them the bond between us can only be united only if the men in the town will be circumcised. On the third day, though, after all the men in the town were circumcised, Shimon and Levi destroyed and massacred the men in the town.

 

Although it seems like through the scripture in the Chumash that the Torah defends and justifies their killing of the town, Yaakov , however did not approve.

On Yaakov’s deathbed, later on – in Parshat Vayechi – “At this critical juncture, when Yehudah is assigned the crown of royalty, Yisachar – the role of scholar, Zevulun – the role of philanthropist and so on, what does Yaakov say to Shimon and Levi? He reminds them of the outburst of bloody rage in which they destroyed the city of Shechem. “Their weaponry is a stolen craft,” he declares, behavior unfit for the exalted family of Yaakov, a page stolen from the book of Eisav.”

 

When the Jews were under the British rule in the 40’s, the Brits favored the Arabs because of their oil. The Jews would constantly be harassed by both the British soldiers and the Arabs.. They had no choice and developed an underground that terrorized their enemy.

 

Diplomacy is the Jewish way. As a matter of fact, we see from this week’s parsha that Yaakov’s concern of the wholeness and wellbeing of his family while Eisav is establishing himself as a leader and a warlord. This is the way it’s been defined for thousands of years. We’ve always been behind the scenes, whether writing the president’s speech, making the calculating decisions as opposed to being the president himself. Although, being in the front line is the glorious and glamorous choice, it might not be the optimal Jewish choice.

 

Burning love aimed at you

December 1, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilus, Baruch Dopelt, Akiva Grunblatt
It disturbs and burns  me up when our fellow brethren are killed or maimed as a result of terrorism. Our heart bleeds seeing the widows of men who attended synagogue that awful day, seeing the mothers of the three boys kidnapped and murdered or any victims and their families of these barbaric acts. Having bad fortune can be a scary thing. My cousins in Israel are mortified in the thought of getting a knock on the door from the Israeli army informing them of tragedy of their sons status in the army. Unfortunately, my grandparents had such a knock sixty years ago, in Israel, informing them of the death of my uncle; it changed their lives forever. Adversity, in general, is something  that can rattle our lives if one lets it.
 One wonders how can this happen to us, we are G-d’s chosen people?  Doesn’t G-d love us?
There are people who preach “G-d loves his Jewish people”. They walk around constantly reaffirming “G-d loves me, G-d loves me”. It seems to me their reaction is slightly corny. I’m sorry to offend some people, however I was always one to passionately voice an opinion. There is a different way of looking at it. We are players in this world  and G-d dealt us our own tailor made deck and we have to know how to play the game; we have to do the commandments as best as possible….period. G-d loves everybody, but that’s irrelevant. Perhaps people need that extra boost of knowing G-d loves them. Hey, whatever motivates!
 However, after being made aware of a verse by Rabbi Yissachar Frand in this week’s parsha and numerous places in our holy Torah I’m retracting my approach that the existence of chocolate and coffee isn’t the predominant proof that G-d loves us.
Now lets ask the reader:
Who is the biggest nation in the world today? It’s the Chinese. There are more Chinese in the world than any other people. The second largest nationality is the Indians.
 It seems like it’s a pretty sure bet that it’s not the Jews. As of matter of fact, in the course of history, it never was. Apparently, this is in contrast to many verses that in our Torah. When G-d told Avraham “I will make you into a great nation” [Bereshis 12:2] Avraham asked Him (according to the Medrash) “but You already have 70 nations who are descended from Noach, what will be so special about another nation?” The Almighty answered Avraham — “The nation that will descend from you is the nation about whom it will be said “For which is such a great nation?” (ki mi goy gadol) [Devorim 4:7] – that is the nation that will emerge from you.”
What is the meaning of “goy gadol” (literally, big nation)? There are approximately 12 million Jews in the world. Never have we ever been the “goy gadol”. So what is the interpretation of the aforementioned Medrash? What is the nature of this peculiar dialog between Avraham and the Almighty? We are no ware near the Chinese nor are we #2, the Indians.
  Similarly, at the beginning of our Parsha, G-d blesses Yaakov with the words “I am G-d, G-d of Avraham your father and G-d of Yitzchak; the ground upon which you are lying, to you will I give it and to your descendants. Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth, and you shall spread out powerfully westward, eastward, northward, and southward…” [Bereshis 28:13-14].
The simple understanding of the blessing “Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth” is that Yaakov’s descendants should be so plentiful that their numbers will be comparable to the dust of the earth.
       There are a number of other such similar  phrases  “Like the stars in Heaven” [Bereshis 22:17] and  that we should be “like the sand of the sea” (k’chol haYam) [Breishis 32:13]. All this connotes plentiful. It gives the notion of positive aura from G-d.
It seems like there is a deeper meaning to the references of G-d making us plentiful.
 There is a famouse Rashi in the begining of the book of Shemot referring to the consensus that was taken of children of  Yisrael. There have been many counts and Rashi gives a parable. Just like one who counts something precious over and over again, so too G-d counts his Jewish people over and over again. To further develop this idea, the verse in Bamidbar 1:2 says that G-d commanded Moshe to count the Jews according to the “number of names.” The Sforno says that this count was unlike any other national census. It’s true that the count kept track of how many Jews there were. However, as each Jew was counted, his name was given special consideration by G-d as well. The Sforno says that a person’s name reveals something deep about his essence. The fact that the counting involved considering each individual as a personality as well as a number shows us that G-d doesn’t only take great pleasure in counting us as a member of the Jewish people; He also loves just to see us and appreciate each of us as we are. Our personal strengths and even our struggles are very valuable to G-d and the count teaches us this concept.
The Torah uses interesting terminology when referring to the census. When Hashem commands Moshe to take the tally of the people He says “שאו את ראש בני ישראל” which literally means “raise the heads of the Bnei Yisrael.” However, the Midrash in Bamidbar Rabba 1:11 says that it can also mean “take off the heads of the Bnei Yisrael.” The Midrash explains that Hashem was hinting that if the Jews are worthy their heads will “be raised,” meaning that they will become successful and great. However, if the Jewish people do not merit, they will perish instead. A question to ponder on this Midrash is why did G-d choose to hint to this idea here? What does the census have to do with personal accountability?
The Sfat Emet, in the name of the Chiddushei HaRim, says that every person has a job in this world that only he can do. No one can do that job for him and he can’t do anyone else’s job. Every challenge and opportunity that one has in life is uniquely suited for him according to his strengths and weaknesses. The service G-d requires of each person is unique, and if a Jew fails to complete his mission in life he has deprived the entire world of all the things he had to offer. G-d specifically hints to this when commanding Moshe  to take the census. Every Jew should know that he matters a lot and his actions have a profound impact on the world. Therefore, the responsibility that being a Jew entails is enormous and ignoring one’s obligation deserves severe punishment.
 Furthermore being the descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov means we inherited their genes. The mold of leadership, ambassadors of the Almighty, their ability to overcome adversity and introduce G-d’s qualities to the world.
 Now, perhaps, we can understand what Gadol means. It’s a special connotation to the word “gadol”. “Gadol” does not mean “big” as in “numerically large”. Rav Dessler points out that the interpretation of “gadol” is revealed to us by its first appearance in the Torah [Bereshis 1:16] “et haMaor haGadol” (the great light, referring to the sun). “Gadol” means the ability to give to others. The sun is not called “gadol” because it is so big. The sun is called “gadol” because it provides light and heat for the entire universe.
Likewise, when Moshe  tells G-d “You have begun to show “Gadlecha” to your servant” [Devorim 3:24] what does “Gadlecha” mean? Rashi explains in Parshas V’Etchanan “this refers to the Attribute of your Goodness” (zu midat Tuvecha). The Almighty is the ultimate Giver. We give our uniqueness to the world.
Similarly, when we praise G-d in Shmoneh Esrei in the expression “haKel haGadol” the word Gadol does not mean “big”, it means He is the Master of Kindness and Goodness”. Another similarity is the meaning of “and Moshe became a Gadol and went out to see his brethren’s suffering” [Shmos 2:11]. Since Moshe was a “gadol” he wanted to become aware first hand of how his brethren were suffering and see how he might be able to help them.
The technical definition of “gadol” is “the capacity to do for others, to help others, to be concerned about others”.  When we talk about an “Adam Gadol” (a person who is a gadol), we are not speaking merely about erudition. It is not merely defining someone who knows the entire Torah. Every Gadol who we can think of was a person that was always concerned about the community. That is the definition of a Gadol.
Now we understand the dialogue between Avraham and G-d. There are plenty of nations in the world. There are 2 billion Chinese and a billion Indians. However, G-d promised Avraham that he would make him into a nation that is “gadol”, meaning a nation of people that care about others and have the capacity to give.
THE STARS
Rav Mordechai Kamenetsky gives an interesting interpretation of “Like the stars in Heaven”. The Almighty was not interested in having Avraham count the stars. He was showing him something symbolic. He wanted him to just look up at the heavens. Looking up at the heavens is looking at one of the great mysteries of the world. To this very day the stars, the heavens, the galaxies, the Milky Way fascinate man. They are one great mystery. The greatest scientists of our own generation are still baffled about what goes on in the deep recesses of outer space. Scientists will be studying the stars from now until the end of time.
The Almighty takes Avraham outside his tent and tells him “You don’t understand, Avraham, how your legacy will be preserved. After all, you have no children yet and you are an old man. I say that you will become a great nation, but you don’t understand. Go outside and try to understand the stars. If stars are one of the mysteries of this world that defy explanation — so too will your descendants defy explanation. Jews also are one of the great mysteries of the world.
Logically speaking, we should have been wiped off the face of the earth centuries ago. We are still around! This is a great mystery! Just like the stars and the heavens and the galaxies are a great mystery “so too shall be your descendants”.
DUST OF THE EARTH
The Medrash explains the very powerful significance of the choice of words “dust of the earth”. The blessing of “k’afar ha’Aretz” represents the history of the Jews. Everybody tramples over the dust of the earth, but in the end the dust of the earth always remains on top. That same dust ultimately covers those who trample it.
“From dust you are taken and to dust you will return” [Bereshis 3:19]. In the final analysis, the dust of the earth is always on top. This is the analogy and the blessing of “Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth.” Yaakov is told that his children will be trampled upon and spat upon, like the dust. But in the end, like the dust, they will remain on top.
G-d loves us and it shows from all the warm references throughout the Torah. However, we live by a higher standard then the other nations due to being the ambassadors of His Majesty. Therefore, our actions are scrutinized immeasurably by G-d as well as by other nations. We set the standards of humanity!
 Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt conveys to us an astonishing insight into Achashverosh searching for the next queen. Apparently, it wasn’t just Ester who was hiding from being selected for this contest. Most if not all of the nations of the world’ maidens were appalled by being selected. Apparently, once you are selected as a contestant, and they were tens of thousands, one is forbidden to be with another man for the rest of their lives.
This was a travesty, an enormous disaster decreed by a lunatic dictator…….and so it happened.
 Why!! It’s a major catastrophe of the time!!
 G-d runs the world and the Sages say the reason G-d allowed Achoshverosh to go forth with his plan is because when the Jews were expelled from Babylonia after the destruction of the first Temple, the nations of the world were making fun of the Jewish girls that they were tanned and ugly (today tan is preferred).. Here were the Jews devastated, destroyed and demoralized losing there spiritual essence, their temple and add insult to injury the non-Jews were ridiculing  them. Although the Jewish nation deserved being expelled nevertheless G-d protects the image of his chosen people.  As a result, many years later it was payback.
 There are many bumps in the road which delays our mission in this world or perhaps that is the mission and that is dealing with those bumps. But what we learn through the many references about G-d’ affection towards us, in the Torah, is that we are special! G-d has an insatiable love for us and He is there to help us with our mission. We have a special and responsible  mission, one that only we can uniquely accomplish!
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