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THE CENTER OF THE WORLD

June 2, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Berel Wein, Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Asher Hurzberg, Yossi Bilus, Chabad.org Shlomo Katz, Dina Yellen

TBack in the mid-nineties, a Jewish advertising executive in New York
came up with an idea. What if the New York Times – considered the
world’s most prestigious newspaper – listed the weekly Shabbat candle
lighting time each week? Someone would have to pay for the space of
course, but imagine the Jewish awareness and pride that might result
from such a prominent mention of the Jewish Shabbat each week.

He got in touch with a Jewish philanthropist and sold him the idea. It
would cost almost two thousand dollars a week, but the philanthropist
did it. Each Friday for the next five years, Jews around the world
would open the New York Times to see: “Jewish Women: Shabbat candle
lighting time this Friday is…”

Eventually the philanthropist had to cut back on a number of his
projects and, in June 1999, the little Shabbat notice stopped
appearing in the Friday Times. From that week on, it never appeared
again. However, there was one notable exception.

On January 1, 2000, the NY Times ran a Millennium edition. It was a
special issue that featured three front pages.

1. One had the news from January 1, 1900.

2. The second was the actual news of the day, January 1, 2000.

3. A third front page was projecting future events of January 1, 2100.

This fictional page included things like a welcome to the fifty-first
state: Cuba. As well, a discussion as to whether robots should be
allowed to vote, and so on. In addition to the fascinating articles,
there was one more thing. Down on the bottom of the Year 2100 front
page, was the candle lighting time in New York for January 1, 2100.
Nobody paid for it. It was just put in by the Times.

The production manager of the New York Times – an Irish Catholic – was
asked about it. His answer was right on the mark, it speaks to the
eternity of our people and to the power of Jewish ritual. “We don’t
know what will happen in the year 2100. It is impossible to predict
the future, but of one thing you can be certain, that in the year
2100, Jewish women will be lighting Shabbos candles”.

Interesting isn’t it, how non-Jews view our association with Shabbat
as an eternal inseparable bond? Do they make it more than it is?
Perhaps they feel that for us, or for that matter for all, that
Shabbat is the center of the world. There is certainly a respect they
feel about us and our bonding with Shabbat. Maybe they feel Shabbat is
a powerful force. They’re right!

Parshat Behar / Bechukotai happens to be my bar mitzvah parsha. When
late spring arrives and parshat Behar creeps up, it marks another
year, another quick year, that has whisked by. That’s a frightening
notion. My bar mitzvah video has more people on the other side of the
hill then here with us. When reflecting at the rather quick life we
are all experiencing it’s a sporty idea, an entertaining one no less,
to guess what purpose each one of us were brought in to the world.
What did a particular individual come here to fix? I try to guess
which one of my possible negative traits is the ‘jackpot’, the one I
was sent here to fic. Although if you ask my wife she’ll write up a
whole chaptered booklet of my deficiencies. “And yes, when you fixed
those look out for volume 2” my eshet chail would say.

Regardless of our personal “monkey on our shoulder” dilemmas, there is
another general major test that every Jew is confronted with. It
identifies and categorizes where we stand as Jews, whether in this
world or after we pass on. “Are you Shomer Shabbat?” Is a question
often asked? Shabbat is at the very center of Jewish consciousness. It
is repeated more times than any other mitzvah in the Torah, and it is
the only ritual observance which is part of the Ten Commandments.

Let’s not fool ourselves, one can be super kind and honest that’s
great! Brownie points reward is right at the doorstep however there is
no escaping the fact that “Did you keep Shabbat and to what degree of
honor did you give it?” will be one of the top questions we will be
asked after 120. It’s one of those majors and it is spelled out, black
and white in the Torah text.

What is so special about Shabbat and what powers does it have?

SHABBAT IS THE SEVENTH DAY

Seven is the official number representing the world. There are seven
days in a week; there are seven year cycles leading to the fiftieth
year Jubilee; the world is divided into seven regions. There are some
opinions that the Jewish calendar starts with the month of Nissan;
therefore the seventh month will come out to be Tishrei, the month
that the world was created and each year is judged.

The midrash (Vayikra Rabbah 29:9) states: All the seventh ones are
beloved always. Above, there are seven worlds, and the seventh is the
most favored. These worlds are: shamayim, shmei ha’shamayim, rakia,
shechakim, zevul, maon and aravot. We read (Tehilim 68:5), “Extol He
Who rides upon the highest heavens / aravot with His Name, `Kah’.”

There are seven terms for “land,” and the seventh is the most favored.
These terms are: eretz, adamah, arka, geh, tziyah, neshiyah and tevel.
We read (Tehilim 9:9), “And He will judge tevel in righteousness; He
will judge the regimes with fairness.”

Among generations, the seventh was favored. They were: Adam, Shet,
Enosh, Keinan, Mahalalel, Yered and Chanoch. We read (Bereishit 5:24),
“Chanoch walked with the Elokim”

Among sons, the seventh was favored, as we read (Divrei Hayamim I
2:15), “David, the seventh [son].”

SOURCE OF POWER

G-d designed the world in such a way that the source of power is
rooted on the seventh day.

“Ki sheshet yamim asa hashem et ha shamaim ve’et ha’aretz, u’vayom
ha’shvi’i shabbat va’yinafash.” that in six days the Lord made the
heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day he rested, and ceased
from his work.

This famous verse is said a number of times, including the morning
Shabbat Kiddush. Rabbi Noach Isaac Oelbaum sites many Sages asking an
obvious question. It should say B’SHESHET-in six days…..G-d created
the world. Why SHESHET? The fact that it says SHESHET implies that G-d
created the world for ONLY six days and the seventh, Shabbat has a
mission is to rejuvenate and give power to the next six days.

Those of you who have a custom to recite the Zohar for the Friday
night are reading this concept. The Sage imply how one acts and treats
the Shabbat would determine the bracha one gets the following week.

The opening commandment in this week’s parsha deals with shemitta –
the sabbatical year for the Land of Israel when the ground was to be
allowed to lie fallow and the farmer abstained from his regular
routine of work. As soon as the Jews settled in the Holy Land, they
began to count and observe seven-year cycles. Every cycle would
culminate in a Sabbatical year, known as Shemittah, literally: “to
release.”

The traditional commentators to the Torah emphasized that even though
the ground and farmer would benefit in the long run from the year’s
inactivity this was not the reason for the commandment. There are
always side benefits from obeying the commandments of the Torah but
these are never the reason or the basis for the commandment itself.

The underlying lesson of the sabbatical year is its obvious kinship to
the weekly Sabbath. Just as every seven days brings with it a holy day
of rest, so too does a holy sabbatical year bring with it a rest for
the earth itself. And, to continue this obvious comparison between
these two Sabbaths, just as the weekly Sabbath is meant to remind us
of God’s creation of the universe so too does the seven year Sabbath
testify to God’s omnipotence and presence in all of our human affairs.

OUR OBLIGATION

There is a story I read by Dina Yellen which I found touching and
worthwhile to retell. It’s one that many of us can relate to and it
defines our pride and resiliency towards our commitment to Judaism and
our love for G-d.

“As I settled into my seat on Flight 1272 bound for Chicago, I glanced
at the passengers filing down the aisle. My Jew-radar immediately went
off; in addition to the business travelers toting their laptops and
briefcases, and the pleasure travelers wearing shorts and Walkmans, I
spied several suede kippot, a striemel and ankle-length skirts.

Despite our shared heritage, I didn’t bother acknowledging them. They
were strangers. And I live in New York, where strangers seldom
exchange greetings, even if they recite the same prayers”

Many observant Jews raise the red flag when it comes to travel and
Friday. Everyone who is a Shabbat observer has this fear of something
going wrong and then having to break camp in some strange place.

“Well, the inevitable happened, the plane rolled toward the runway and
I waited for takeoff. No such luck. The pilot announced the flight was
being delayed three hours due to stormy weather conditions in Chicago.
I glanced at my watch nervously. Usually, I avoid flying Friday
afternoons for fear I won’t arrive in time, but on summer weekends
when Shabbat doesn’t begin until 8 p.m., I figured I’d be safe. I
figured wrong.

After we finally took off, a half-hour before arrival, the pilot
announced O’Hare Airport was shut down and we were landing in
Milwaukee until we could continue on. My stomach sunk. Candle-lighting
was an hour away. I’d never make it on time. Like most religious Jews
who work in the secular world, I’d experienced my share of close
calls. But I never knowingly violated the Sabbath. Now, I was stuck.

By now, the kippot and long skirts were huddled in the back of the
plane. They had been joined by others. Shabbat was bringing strangers
together.

It was time to introduce myself. We’re going to get off in Milwaukee,
a young man told me. The Chasid had called Milwaukee’s Chabad rabbi,
who offered to host any stranded passengers for Shabbat. Come with us,
he urged. I nodded with relief but returned to my seat crestfallen
since I had planned this weekend with my family for months.

My non-Jewish seatmate, noticing my despair, inquired what was wrong.
When I told him the story, his jaw dropped. “Let me get this
straight,” he said, “You’re getting off the plane in a town where
you’ve never been with people you don’t know to stay overnight with
complete strangers?”

I quickly realized I was among friends. As I attempted to carry my
bags off the plane, a woman insisted on helping me. When we crowded
into cabs to take us to the rabbi’s house, the Chasid insisted on
paying for me. And when the cabs pulled up at the home of the Rabbi
and Rebbetzin, they ran outside to greet us as if we were long lost
relatives.

The sun set on Milwaukee as they ushered us into their home, where a
long table was set for Shabbat with a white tablecloth, china and
gleaming kiddush cups. When I lit the Shabbat candles, a wave of peace
washed over me. With all that had transpired, I was warmed by the
notion that the world stops with the first flicker of Sabbath light.

Over a traditional Shabbat feast, the rabbi enchanted us with tales of
the Baal Shem Tov and informed us that our re-route to Milwaukee was
due not to the world of weather but of Divine providence.

We lingered over our meal, enjoying our spiritual sanctuary in time
after the stressful day. Zemirot (Shabbat songs) filled the room. We
shared disappointments about our unexpected stopover. Most of the
group was traveling to Chicago for their friend’s aufruf (“calling up”
the groom to the Torah on the Shabbat before a wedding) and wedding
and were missing the aufruf. The Chasid and his wife were missing a
bar mitzvah.

We pondered the meaning of the departure from our journey and marveled
at the coincidences. I had attended camp with my roommate, a couple
had conducted business with my father, a man had studied in yeshiva
with my cousin, the chasid used to work in my hometown of Aurora,
Ill., and I had once spent Purim in Crown Heights with my hosts’ son.
Exhausted as we were, everyone was hesitant to leave the table to go
to sleep.

The next morning, a lively tefillah was followed by a leisurely meal
where we exchanged stories about our lives, careers and dreams. We
nicknamed ourselves the Milwaukee 15 and wondered if future
generations would retell the story of the flight that didn’t make it
in time for candlelighting.

The story does not end with a bang. No, the airplane that was delayed
and left without the fifteen observant Jews did not crash. There is no
proclamation “You see, if we would have violated Shabbat and taken the
flight we would have been doomed.” The story end quite ordinary, but
it bring some important points about our obligations to G-d and how we
observe and obey as a nation, a chosen nation.

“Saturday night, we made a regretful journey to the everyday world.
But before we began the final leg of our journey, I called my husband
to tell him all that had transpired.

“Who did you spend Shabbat with?” he asked worriedly. I pondered how
to explain who these former strangers were who had given me object
lessons in Shabbat hospitality and in the power of Shabbat in bringing
Jews together.

And, then as swiftly as a 747 can leave the tarmac on a clear day, I
realized the truth: miles away from my parents, husband and home, I
had accomplished what I set out to do when I booked my ticket: I had
spent Shabbat with family.

YOVEL

The Jubilee year is the year at the end of seven
cycles of shmita (Sabbatical years), and according to Biblical
regulations had a special impact on the ownership and management of
land in the Land of Israel; there is some debate whether it was the
49th year (the last year of seven sabbatical cycles, referred to as
the Sabbath’s Sabbath), or whether it was the following (50th) year.
Jubilee deals largely with land, property, and property rights.
According to Vayikra, slaves and prisoners would be freed, debts would
be forgiven, and the mercies of God would be particularly manifest.
Therefore the standard six year term of slavery would be prematurely
terminated with the advent of Yovel. Even those who had voluntarily
committed themselves to continued slavery upon the conclusion of their
six year term were slaves no longer once Yovel arrived. Over the
course of time, many family fields would be sold. Yovel would
automatically return the land to the original owners.

Business, Wall street, the Diamond district, Real Estate, money, our
lines get blurred when it comes to ownership. That’s mine. I’ve earned
it. I’ve got to earn more. Life gets so busy; we find that we never
have a free moment. Time is money.

We see that Yovel was certainly a proclamation of freedom for many but
why is it described as a proclamation of freedom for all of its
inhabitants? How do all Jews benefit from Yovel?

WE HAVE TO EARN IT. TO GET CLOSE TO G-D THROUGH THE SHABBAT

Shabbat is the Jewish tool to make sure we don’t misunderstand our
place in the universe. Refraining from work is the first step toward
accomplishing this goal. God gave mankind the power to manipulate and
change the world. Because of this, we are easily lulled into thinking
that we are in control of the world.

Then comes Shabbat. Once every seven days, we step back from the world
and make a statement to ourselves and humanity that we are not in
charge of this world. We stop all creative work and acknowledge that
it is God’s world, not ours. We can manipulate the world, but we don’t
own it. God gives us clear guidelines for how we may shape the world,
but it’s not ours to do with as we see fit all the time.

When we refrain from work on Shabbat, we regain clarity and
understanding as to Who is the true Creator.

According to Rav Moshe Shternbuch, Yovel grants a person a clear
perspective. I’m the master over no one and no thing. Hashem appoints
me for a stint and then it passes on to someone else. I got a great
deal on that field, now it goes back to its owner. This servant really
had my home running smoothly, he now returns to his home. The soul had
become subservient to the physical needs being over-filled – it is now
freed.

On the fiftieth year, freedom is proclaimed in the land for all of its
inhabitants. Each and every individual prioritizes. There’s a sense of
freedom

The foundation and basis of all of Jewish faith and belief in its
Torah is the necessity of human acknowledgment of God’s role in our
lives and in His ability to instruct us how to live. Since the weekly
Sabbath sometimes is taken for granted for it becomes such an
accustomed and regular part of our existence, the seven year Sabbath
comes to jolt us out of our complacency and to have us recognize
clearly, once again God’s rule over us.

The only way to get close to G-d is if we take the first step.
Interestingly ever notice why on Shabbat we learn Torah better, the
food is more delicious. The reason is there is no intermediary, no
angels between us and the Master of the Universe. For this reason we
recite Shalom Alechem in the beginning of the Shabbat. We say
BTZETCHEM L’SHALOM we escort the week day angels out of our house for
now it’s us and him just the two of us.

Regarding that according to the Torah Shabbat is an OT – a sign, the
Chofetz Chaim tells over a parable:

When one passes by a store front and the doors are locked, he assumes
they are closed. When he passes by the next day and sees the fixtures
missing, he does not jump to conclusions that perhaps they’re out of
business, maybe they’re are doing renovations. But, when he sees that
the sign is no longer there then he comes to the conclusion they are
out of business.

When the world sees that the Jews are keeping the Shabbat they know
the sign is up and they’re still in business.

The closer you are to G-d

Walk the Walk Talk the Talk – Thats Life

June 2, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Yossi Bilus, Asher Hurzberg,

Baruch Dopelt, Dovid Hoffman- Queens Jewish Link

The story is told of a Jerusalem Torah scholar (Yerushalmi) from Meah Shearim, who was studying a certain topic and realized that he needed a rare sefer-book that was not commonly found in most yeshivot and shuls. He knew that in the large central library in Jerusalem there was an extensive collection of rare holy books, and decided to go there in the hopes of locating the sefer. As this was to be an all-day outing for him, he packed himself a lunch – an egg sandwich – and headed off to the library.

In the early afternoon, he began to feel faint; that was his hunger sign. It was time for lunch and he performed the customary of washing of the hands and ate his sandwich. Afterward, he donned his hat and recited birkat hamazon in a loud voice and with great fervor. This raised a few eyebrows, but this was how he prayed and it didn’t faze him a bit. When he finished the Grace after Meal, however, the librarian, a non-religious young woman, came over to him and pointed out that he had made a mistake in his recitation. In shocked silence he listened as she explained that in the third blessing of birkat hamazon, the text reads, “That we may not be shamed nor humiliated.” However, as he recited quite loudly for all to hear, she distinctly heard him say, “We may not be shamed nor shall we stumble,” which is not found in any siddur.

The Yerushalmi gentleman, who was used to saying this version from when he was a child, wrapped his payos around his ears and got to work searching through every prayer book he could find in the library. None of them had his version. He was shocked and dismayed, but he would not give in to this non-religious young woman so easily. He promised the librarian that he would find his version in a siddur somewhere and when he does, he will send her a copy of the page. Then, he beat a hasty and embarrassed retreat from the library – but he didn’t go home! He went from place to place searching …

It took many days of searching in many different synagogues, but he finally found an old sefer where, in the Haggadah shel Pesach, it had his version. Triumphantly, he copied the page and highlighted the relevant words, adding red arrows around the words so that she wouldn’t miss it. Then, he mailed it to the library, but since he didn’t know the woman’s name, he requested that the library give it over to the librarian who was working in this certain room on this particular day and time. After he accomplished his mission, he forgot about the whole episode, and put it out of his mind.

Quite some time later, the Yerushalmi gentleman received a wedding invitation, but to his puzzlement he realized that he didn’t know the groom nor the bride. His curiosity got the better of him and, on the day of the wedding, he stopped in to the hall, where he looked around and confirmed that he didn’t know anybody there. He assumed it was a mistake and was on his way out.

At that very moment, he heard someone scream, “Wait!” and he turned around to see none other than the bride herself running toward him. “Don’t you recognize me?” said the bride to the baffled Yerushalmi, who responded in the negative.

“I am the librarian who had the discussion with you about Grace after Meal,” she said with great feeling. “You should know that it is only in your merit and the letter that you sent me that I repented and am marrying an observant Jew who learns Torah.” She then went on to describe the amazing chain of events that brought about such an upheaval in her life.

“At the time you came to the library, I was dating an Arab man. We were thinking of marriage, but despite the fact that I wasn’t religious, I was still very wary about marrying out of my Jewish faith. He finally sent me a letter with an ultimatum. If I did not give him a final response by a certain day and hour, then there would be nothing more to talk about.

“When that day came, I was going insane with my dilemma, not knowing what to do. I arrived at the library in a daze and entered my room, and saw your letter on the table. I opened it up and saw two words surrounded by red arrows highlighted in red: ‘we shall not stumble.’ I almost fainted! At that very moment, all my doubts were resolved. I knew that it was forbidden for me to marry him, to stumble so sharply. I notified the Arab – and promptly severed our relationship!” The bride’s face glowed with an inner shine. “Not too long afterward, I repented completely and here I am – marrying a repentant Jew!”

Why was the girl so hesitant to marry the Arab? If she cared so much about marrying outside the faith why did she permit herself to date him in the first place? Perhaps, she didn’t perceive the relationship would progress to such an extent. Nevertheless, she wasn’t religious and it wasn’t important to her. Why then did guilt enter the picture? Could it be that she really didn’t love him and subconsciously was finding an excuse to break off the relationship. Did she really feel it was a sign from heaven or just fishing for an excuse? However, one can deduce that her feelings were genuine for she became and married a ba’al teshuva. So what then propelled her to react that way when she received “THE SIGN FROM G-D?” Perhaps, if we look in this week’s Torah reading, the story will be more clear.

The parsha begins: “If you follow My laws and faithfully observe My commandments, I will grant you rains in their season…”

That is the standard translation of this opening verse. But a more literal translation would begin not, “If you follow My laws,” but rather, “If you walk in My laws.” Most translators understandably choose the word “follow” over the literal “walk” in this context.

But the Midrash takes a different approach. It retains the literal “walk,” and links it to the phrase in Psalms 119:59 which reads, “I have considered my ways, and have turned my steps to Your decrees”. After linking the verse in our Torah portion with this verse from Psalms, the Midrash continues, putting these words into the mouth of King David: “Master of the universe, each and every day I would decide to go to such and such a place, or to such and such a dwelling, but my feet would bring me to synagogues and study halls, as it is written: ‘I have turned my steps to Your decrees.'”

What essentially King David is saying is an integral part of our relationship with G-d and a valuable lesson in life. For we were designed “to walk the walk and talk the talk”. It’s our nature to be constantly “on the GO”. Remember those lyrics from a famous song:

Woke up, fell out of bed

Dragged a comb across my head

Found my way downstairs and drank a cup

And looking up I noticed I was late

Found my coat and grabbed my hat

Made the bus in seconds flat

That is our mission in life. We are not Angels who are described and labeled “OMDIM” -“standing”. Their essence is a non-growth role. On the other hand: our essence is “HOLCHIM”- “to go” as hinted in numerous places in the Torah.

Interestingly, we follow a book of laws, the Shulchan Aruch and we’re always commenting “that is the HALACHA”. It comes from the same root as our subject; it means “the walk”. That is a strange phrase to describe our holy book of laws, don’t you think? “What is the halacha?-what is the walk?” It seems a little odd. What can we deduce from the various times the expression “walk” is presented in the Torah? The lesson is through our walking and performing the laws, for it is HALACHA to do so. This is the essence of our function in life. Quality walking is essential.

It’s also no coincidence that one of the first commandments given to the first Jew, Avraham was LECH LECHA- go to you”. In other words – “go, discover you essence”. G-d is instructing him to understand the reason why he was put on this universe. So he instructs him to go. Where should he go? G-d led him to land of Israel. The Kli Yakar writes in his commentary, “G-d was referring to the Temple Mount for that is the root, for that is where the souls are constructed”. This is where he and his offspring will receive the proper frequency and spirituality for the Temple Mount is the factory of which the whole world is formed. No wonder everyone is fighting over it.

Now, how will Avraham achieve such growth? How will he reach such a lofty level? Seemingly, he will reach it through life’s journey and discovering the world. He will go where no man has gone before; he will travel and explore through his experiences.

Rashi informs us in the beginning of the parsha that the achievement – the walk has to be chaperoned with the guidance of the Torah. This is what we should be guided with in our journey. As it says in the famous SHEMA which we are commanded to read twice daily-UVELECHTECHA BADERECH – when you walk on the road.

However, what is inevitable is that life is not always smooth sailing. We all have our ups and downs. One should know what the psalm referring to King David is saying that there is a homing device in each one of us which sets off an alarm. There is a text alert to go back and grab your heritage. There is a satiating desire to join a shiur and drink a nice cup of tea. There is a longing in all of us to explore our heritage. The homing device made sounds where the librarian screamed in her heart “wait, I’m confused”. In her situation there was a spark from G-d’s messenger “Do not stumble”. The message was to follow G-d’s ways. There are many times when one doesn’t feel worthy to touch base with his Jewishness, therefore the message that the librarian saw “do not stumble” applies to all of us. One should not despair; one has to pick up the pieces and continue his walk.

There is a touching story about the Imri Emet- Rabbi Avraham Mordechai Alter (December 25, 1866 – June 3, 1948). Rabbi Avraham would take the long route to get home from Yeshiva every day. His students asked him why you don’t take the known and popular shorter cut. He answered, “In the route that I walk I pass by an outdoor workplace where many Bolsheviks work. Many of them are Jews. Although we wish all Jews to return to their heritage, it seems like they’re committed to their cause. “

Rabbi Avraham was a Rabbi who looked the part and when he walked into a room everyone felt his presence. “I walked past the Jewish Bolshevik’s workplace and they tip their hat out of respect. Perhaps that is the only good deed, the only merit they will have when they eventually depart this world. Or, perhaps, they might be curious about something and approach me. Therefore, I have to do my part. I have to do my walk for one never knows where it may lead”, he said.

Interestingly, the Yerushalmi Gentleman that infamous day went on a mission. He did his walk, walking with the Torah banner, lunch and all. The rest G-d arranged…………We have to do our part and the rest is up to G-d!

Does one know his real potential in life?

May 19, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Akiva Grunblatt, Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilus, Asher Hurtzberg, Dr. Abba Goldman

We all have dreams that for the most part never materialize. I always wanted to be a chazzan, however I can never hit the high note without scaring the cat. But what is incredibly frustrating is that many times, forgetting the crazy unreachable dreams, there are very realistic, albeit hard to earn, dreams which require capabilities we possess! We just aren’t recognized for them, or they never truly come out to fruition.

For example, when I was growing up there was a Rabbi who lived not far who happened to be a man of tremendous talent. He was a great orator, charismatic and very personable. Both he and his wife were considered good looking and good qualities didn’t drop one iota with his children either. They were all successful and all married into good families. The Rabbi and his wife had seen their fabulous grandchildren. A “picture perfect” Rabbi along with a “package deal” that any congregation would want. However he was a Rabbi of a very small shul, on the outskirts of the neighborhood, where there were scarce Jews. There were approximately ten to fifteen old men on a Shabbat morning; the shul was dying out. I never understood why he wasn’t grabbed and showcased on the big stage. He was certainly respected in the community. Why didn’t he command a big pulpit position?

In fact, years later when there was an opening in one of the big major shuls in the neighborhood he wasn’t even given a chance to interview! When asked by many why he wasn’t considered, the choosing committee responded that “He was too old for the position.” WHAT!! How can they pass up on this all-around talent? Do you know what kind of respect he would bring to the Judaism? What kind of great potential was wasted? It could have been glorious!!

This week we read about the aftermath of the most tragic event in the Torah: the death of the two eldest sons of Aharon, Nadav and Avihu. They offered a sacrifice with ‘strange fire’ before G-d, disobeying his instructions, and were immediately consumed by G-d’s fire. Two rising stars cut down in their prime, at the height of one of history’s greatest celebrations. The fall from glory, for Nadav and Avihu and the entire Jewish nation was swift, stunning, and it could be said that Klal Yisroel never recovered fully recovered from it. They were the heirs to Moshe and Aharon, the two leaders of the Israelites.

It seems like their story is a reoccurring frustrating nightmare of unrecognized gift like “our neighborhood Rabbi”. In this week’s parsha, it is unanimously agreed that Nadav and Avihu had high potential and talent and their gifts were not yet not achieved, buried in the “what if” and “if only”.

Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt relates a story of Frank Lautenberg who became a Senator later in his life after striking it millions working in sales building the payroll company “ADP”. Lautenberg developed a computerized system making payrolls for other companies. Interestingly, a few years earlier someone else developed the same idea, however it just never took off. It basically was ignored. Two people develop the same idea, one ends up taking out the garbage after a long hard day at the office, and the other is a millionaire. One’s potential is recognized, one’s is not.

Why does life seem so unfair?

In order to have a better idea of why such talented people are not recognized or their potential is cut short for whatever reason, we have to first define potential and categorize what it really is, and why it exists. To do so, we must see how the Torah approaches potential.

We can shed some light from the Torah when it introduces Moshe for the first time in parshat Shemot. There, when discussing the birth of Moshe, the pasuk [Shemos 2:1] ambiguously says: “A man went from the House of Levi and took Levi’s daughter.” Surely it would have been more logical to tell us about Moshe Rabbeinu’s father when initially mentioning his birth? Why does the Torah omit the full identity of the parents when first narrating Moshe’s birth, and wait until the next parsha of Vaera to mention it then?

Rav Moshe Feinstein explains that when two people bring a child into the world – at that early stage in the child’s life – the parents really have no great “claim to fame.” At that stage, we do not know who the baby is or what the baby will become. At that point, the baby is only “a bundle of raw potential” (b’koach, not b’po-al). Therefore, giving accolades and honors to the parents of Moshe Rabbeinu at the stage of his birth would be premature. He was only a baby!

However, later on in Parshat Vaera, we already know who Moshe Rabbeinu is. This is a person who could have remained comfortably in the house of Pharaoh, but he grew up and went out amongst his brethren and saw their suffering. Moshe Rabbeinu stuck up for the oppressed Jew. Moshe Rabbeinu had to flee for his life and go to Midian. Moshe Rabbeinu stood up for the oppressed daughters of Yisro at the well. This is only a fraction of what he will yet accomplish. But he is now 80 years old; he has already demonstrated his character.

Now the pasuk can inform us that he is the product of Amram and Yocheved. Here the parents can now proclaim: “See the child that we have raised.” They can now stand up and take credit. Let the world know who Moshe Rabbeinu’s father was. Let the world know who is mother was. Moshe Rabbeinu is more than just raw potential. The potential has been realized.

Even at birth, though Moshe’s potential is not realized, we see that the Torah still is careful and goes to many different steps for it to be nurtured and protected. Jewish law states that a Jewish baby cannot be breast fed by a non-Jewish woman. The question is asked why?

We have learned in the famous Midrash: this little boy Moshe one day, will talk to G-d. It’s deemed inappropriate for him to drink milk from a non-Jew. The answer makes sense for Moshe who saw the back of G-d, the only human to ever witness G-d in any form and survive; however that law applies to all Jewish babies. Why does this law apply to all?

The answer is that we all have the potential to talk to G-d, we all have the potential to see G-d, to make a tremendous spiritual impact and therefore we are just as obligated not to drink only from a Jewish mother.

Therefore, there seems to be a clear distinction between potential achieved and potential not achieved. However, caution has to be maintained for we all have the ability to reach the levels of the highest regard. It seems like we leave the door open for potential.

Nevertheless, if it doesn’t happen, then it wasn’t meant to be. People have to take into account that the potential that you have is not the potential that you see. Everyone is sent down to this world with a purpose, and that purpose is your real potential. This can be better illustrated by the following true story.

There was a student who was valedictorian, the highest honor one can receive graduating, at his high school commencement ceremony. He gave a speech, thanking one classmate, in particular, who he credited for himself standing at the podium.

He began to describe the ninth grade and how terrorized he was. He was the butt of all jokes and the class, grade, school were relentless in trying to make his life miserable. They succeeded in abandoning any self-esteem left in this poor boy’s body … One day, he decided “That’s it”. He was going to take his life.

On the very day which he designated for his desperate act, he wanted to ease the anguish that his parent will feel. He decided that he will unload his locker, saving the added burden so they won’t have to do it. As he was leaving school, with piled books on his shoulder, a boy approached him and asked “Can I help you?” They struck a conversation which led to friendship as the boy talked him out of doing the desperate act. “I am at this podium alive today because of this boy and the words “Can I help you?”

Aside from the tremendous lesson that this story teaches us about the innate potential that everyone has, there is something else to consider. The valedictorian almost didn’t live up to his potential, but in the end, he did. Why? Because of the boy who said “Can I help you?” Perhaps that boy’s task in life was to say those magic words “Can I help you?” and save him from suicide. It didn’t matter what he grew up to be or what his talents are. That was his purpose. While you have to take an active seat in life, and try the bet you can, you must keep everything in the proper perspective, which is the knowledge that you never knows the reason you came to this world.

Doctor Goldman Psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim asks “How does one know what his true calling in this world is? Take a situation that a neighborhood’s Rabbi’s wife is ill and he has to spend more time at home and therefore would not be able to devote the time required for a large congregation. Maybe taking care of his wife is his true calling in life. This is what he came to this world for. This is the test he has to pass. The talent as a Rabbi is perhaps an obstacle, a challenge, a temptation not to achieve his true task in life. Seeing his wife’s well-being is the primary goal. It’s a kindness that he may not have achieved in the previous life.” Though this seems counter-intuitive, the good Doctor is following our holy mystical Torah. We are here in this world to fix our previous mistakes from a different reincarnation. Although one doesn’t know what he has to fix, it could be something as insignificant as saying “Can I help you?”

The good Doctor continues and gives an example “We are like soldiers taking orders from the General. The General has an overview on how to win the war. If one is placed in reserves then he has to stand idle until he is called upon. The General is the one who calls the shots. He may or may not be called to battle. One can be a lawyer with no work or a chazzan without an opportunity. However it doesn’t matter he is still a soldier and doing his duty in reserves, talent and all. G-d runs the world. It doesn’t matter how much talent you have. You do your best and the rest is up to Him. We each have our assignment weather it’s the Rabbi or the one that payroll computer invention was passed up.”

Dr. Goldman mention that Rav Henoch Leibowitz zt”l use to like poetry and would always be moved by the poet, John Milton. Milton lost his sight at his later age and could not continue his work. He would be quoted as saying “G-d put me in the reserves, and that is how I am supposed to live”. One just has to look at history, whether it’s the Holocaust, pogroms or any terrorist act against us and see how much potential has perished. I know someone who is still single and he’s not a spring chicken. He lost his mother at a young age. I have often said if his mother was alive she would have made sure her son would marry. With his mother alive there is more of a chance; there is more of a potential for marriage.

However, this is not what the General laid out on the battle field. Our job is to be a soldier. We have to live up to the potential we were given, but always retain the knowledge that there is a specific task we were meant to fulfill, which may not be what we want. We, as Jews, have an obligation to be G-d’s soldiers.

A Tribute to Rabbi Yitzchak Aminoff

May 19, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

A Tribute to Rabbi Yitzchak Aminoff

Right before Pesach, my hero, my inspiration, suddenly past away. Rabbi Yitzchak Aminoff, an important Rabbinical figure had a heart attack while he was sleeping and just like that, the angels escorted him to heaven.

The good Rabbi entered my life, at a time when I was stunned, numbed by the death of my father. His presence and guidance at the time was immeasurable.

It’s difficult to remember such a painful time of my life, but out of tribute to Rabbi Aminoff, it’s important to express some thoughts in order to bring out some of the positive attributes of this great man.

How true and full of wisdom is our Torah that, by law, one cannot do any of the mitzvot-commandments when one is an ONEN – someone who just lost a loved one. An ONEN cannot perform the Torah’s commandment from the time of the loved one’s death until the deceased is buried. The reason, and I can truly attest to this, is that the mourners are in such a confused state they would have difficulty adding two plus two. That is exactly what occurred to my mother and me when we arrived at the airport in Israel for burial of my father. We were like two lost puppies; we couldn’t even locate my father’s remains from cargo!

There are some people who enter one’s life briefly; for G-d sends them to help. An Orthodox Rabbi with a beard approached us and asked “Can I help you?” and proceeded to guide us to the right cargo. He helped us find our relatives, then he disappeared into the sunset. It is funny that such stories happens to many people; that a mysterious messenger comes to help out and then vanishes. How great are our brethren! Give Jews as a whole all the credit they deserve.

When I buried my father I felt relieved. The duty, the responsibility, the dignity of providing the last honor was a huge load off my back. However, even after the burial, I was still rattled with disbelief and anguish beyond comprehension. Enter Rabbi Yitzchak Aminoff, who we called to help us conduct the shiva ceremony. During those moments that I was looking for guidance and comfort, Rabbi Aminoff did just that in a tremendous way.

The first thing he said, which was comforting, was “I remember your father well. Your father in the mid 1960’s spotted me once on 47th street (the heart of the diamond district where my father worked). I came with a senior Rabbi whom he knew, to collect money for our Yeshiva. He insisted that we come to his house that evening for Palov (a famous Bukharian dish). He then proceeded to call his wife (my mother) to place the order. I’ll never forget it” he said.

Rabbi Aminov led the ceremonies throughout the week of shiva, he brought 10 students to the gravesite traveling from Tel Aviv to Yerushalayim so I could say the required Kaddish and he even helped me with the wording on my father’s tombstone.

Ever since then, approximately fourteen years ago, we kept in touch speaking once a week via telephone. He was one of the cartels of Rabbi that provided me insights, first with my lectures, then with the Cup of Coffee material.

What fascinated me about Rabbi Aminoff, which made me gravitate towards him weekly, and I look forward to speak to him was that we shared something very special in common. All of us, we all have our personalities and we are all a bunch of characters. I have been criticized that I am nostalgic and there many who are close to yours truly that have complained “you’re living in the past” and “get with the times”. I argued, trying to defend myself, that looking back gives me energy. It gives me an identity, one that I am very proud of. It connects the past with the present. The past gives the present an identity.

Rabbi Yitzchak Aminoff was the same. He was nostalgic and we would speak at great length about the past. He knew my parents, grandparents and that wonderful golden period of yesteryear. He echoed my sentiments and was living proof that the nostalgic method worked. Just look at his accomplishments! Whether it be family (he saw great-grandchildren), whether it was the Yeshiva he headed, whether it was the kindness he radiated, he led a productive life. We, the nostalgic people that we are, practice what is one of the most fundamental aspects of Judaism, appreciation. Not just to appreciate what one has today but also what one had then, the people, the moments and the period of the past. When given the opportunity, we would often talk about our historic past and give each other that high, the high of the privilege to be part of those years.

Rabbi Aminoff himself lost his father at a young age and told me there was not a day that goes by where he feels the tzar- anguish of not having him there, sharing his joy. We would speak about the people who passed on with tremendous respect. It is as if we categorized life as us, the living and them, the deceased. I guess that is part of what makes it so difficult to comprehend that now he’s on the other side.

Do you ever wonder why we never get used people passing away? Even people who perished that we are not so familiar with we are startled. The answer lies with the famous concept that we are built in G-d’s image. For this reason we put on tefilin and keep Shabbat and do kindness, because He did it. G-d will never die. Since we are built in G-d’s image, it’s instilled in our psyche that we to will never die. Perhaps now we can realize how devastating Adam and Eve’s sin was. They brought death to the world, an unpleasant surprise to all of mankind every time it strikes.

When my father past away, it opened the door for me between the world of the living and the world of the no longer. Rabbi Aminoff opened the door even wider. I only hope that his tzar- anguish is no longer, for he has re-united with his father and for that matter, mine as well.

GUILT TRIP-A WAY OF LIFE FOR SOME BUT NOT FOR OTHERS

May 19, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

his article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Akiva Grunblatt, Yossi Bilus, Asher Hertzberg, Label Lam, Dovid Green

Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt poses a very interesting scenario that we as humans are often susceptible to in our relationships. As a matter of fact, as soon as he made yours truly aware of this fascinating discovery, I realized that it happened to me in my relationship with a loved one.

First things first, though. Here is the scenario Rabbi Grunblatt conveyed:

Suppose a father is approached by his daughter as he is getting comfortable on the couch, fifteen minutes before an important televised football game. She requests that he take her to a friend’s house. The father, puzzled, answers, “Honey why didn’t you tell me an hour ago? It’ll take me a half hour to go there and a half hour to come back. I’ll miss half the game.”

The daughter irately responds, “What’s more important: taking me to a friend or your silly game?” The father gave it a momentary thought, and responds reluctantly, “OK, I’ll take you.”

But then the daughter shakes her head and retorts, “No, thank you.”

Rabbi Grunblatt observes; initially the daughter wanted her father to take her to her friend and the father was reluctant to do so. Now it seems they switched roles. The father said “I’ll go” while the daughter says “Don’t bother.” Why are they reacting the opposite of what they originally requested?

It’s an interesting lesson in human nature. People would rather feel angry then guilty!! It’s a much more comfortable role. This is what many of us subconsciously do. The father would rather take his daughter than feel guilty about no taking her, and the daughter would rather stay home rather than feel guilty about forcing her father to take her. Perhaps there are even those that cleverly play this game consciously and manipulate others whether they are loved ones, friends, or coworkers.

This week’s parsha is one of the thirteen times that Shabbat is mentioned in the Torah. “My Shabbat you shall observe and My sanctuary shall you revere-I am G-d” (19:30)

We all know that Shabbat is a major part of Judaism and we for the most part observe it as best as possible. Every Jew is required to keep it. Here is an interesting story told over by Rabbi Label Lam that can only occur in Israel.

One Shabbos, a zealous young man was standing by the side of busy road in Israel shouting, “Shabbos!” as cars raced by. (Editor’s Note – I don’t believe this is the way to go about educating and I am not endorsing this approach.) A car came to a screeching halt and a big tough guy stepped out holding a tire iron in his hand.

He approached the fellow threateningly, advising him to say his last prayers because he’s about to meet his Maker. The young man asked him why he was so violent and angry. The man growled back at him, “Because you’re out here shouting ‘Shabbos’!”

The young fellow answered him softly, “But you didn’t stop your car because I shouted ‘Shabbos’.”

Angrier than ever, the tough fellow shouted, “What do you mean?!”

The young man tried again, “I can prove it to you! If I was out here on Tuesday yelling, “Yom Shlishi!” would you have stopped your car?” “No!” the fellow admitted, “I would just think you’re crazy.”

The young man concluded, “When I shouted “Shabbos” it wasn’t me you stopped for. Something inside of you shouted “Shabbos” along with me. That’s why you stopped your car!”

What’s the lesson? The one who stopped his car and acted with anger, for it was far better than facing the guilt of hearing the word ‘”Shabbos”.

Jewish guilt is a popular topic. It seems that Jews are always finding something to feel guilty about. Those who talk about Jewish guilt like to blame Jewish mothers for its continuity. But let’s be fair, guilt has gotten a bad rap in our generation. Perhaps even one which is undeserved. It is so powerful, we do almost anything to avoid it. Guilt is the driver of our internal system of checks and balances, the stubborn little inner voice that stops us from eating 5 glatt kosher hotdogs at the Met game in a row even though ballgame and franks are a marriage made in heaven.

IS GUILT GOOD OR BAD

We need guilt, that dreary engine of morality, in order for society to function. Without its looming prospect, we would turn into sociopaths. Or politicians. Guilt is our inner police force, but if we give it too much emotional power, we risk turning into a police state.

Guilt plays tricks on you. When I was working in the Jewelry business on “The Street”, 47th street that is, there was a mandatory vacation time, the first two weeks of July. I decided to go and learn in Yeshiva for those two weeks. However, as I was learning in the study hall I felt guilty I wasn’t in the office, even though the street was closed! Then, when I returned to the diamond district after two weeks, I felt guilty I didn’t spend more time in the study hall!

Interestingly, I once read a New York Time article and there was a Jewish female writer had a funny take on guilt: “My mother makes me feel guilty because her mother made her feel guilty. We will probably continue to transmit our guilt down the generations until our great-great-great-grandchildren jump in their spaceships and flee the planet. When they do, they’ll almost certainly be made to feel guilty about it.”

Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twersky writes in “Let Us Make Man” that guilt is to the emotions what pain is to the physical body. Physical pain is very useful and beneficial. Without pain we would not know that we have touched a flame, or dropped something heavy on our foot, etc. Pain alerts us to stop whatever it is that we are doing which is inflicting damage on us. When a person is whole emotionally, doing things which we know are wrong causes us guilt. The pain we call guilt lets us know that there is something we ought to stop doing. There is guilt which is founded in morals and conscience. That is healthy guilt. Guilt which lacks a foundation is not healthy and needs to be dealt with.

But be careful! There are many situations when guilt is not beneficial. One such one is that if one does not know clearly what their true obligations are there is room to be manipulated and made to feel arbitrarily guilty. As well, transforming guilt to anger to relinquish one’s responsibility is not good either. It’s the easy way out. It’s the cool thing to do. Perhaps one will win the argument, but it’s certainly not the ethical road.

Let’s get back to this week’s parsha and Shabbat. There is an important observation told over by Rabbi Yossi Bilus said by Rabbi Moshe Feinstein.

In the early 1900 in New York it was very difficult for a Jew to keep Shabbat. If one doesn’t show up for work on Saturday he might as well not come on Monday, for he most likely lost his job. Unfortunately for those that did keep Shabbat, their children, for the most part, astonishingly did not remain Shabbat observers. The question is asked why, they sacrificed so much to do so?

Rabbi Moshe observes the children sensed the uneasiness; they sensed the sacrifice; they sensed the guilt, the anguish of not being at work. It was a miserable guilt ridden atmosphere. Children are smart, they pick up on the feeling of parents. The parent brought the pain home with them.

At the beginning, I mentioned how this concept personally affected me. One Friday, when I was a teenager, my father came from work uncharacteristically very late. He had some bruises on his face and arms. He told my mother and I that, as he was very rushed coming home, he fell in the subway trying to catch the train. That Shabbat was as fun and wonderful as any other usual Shabbos orchestrated by Pop. After, Shabbat, though, he disclosed to us that two men who tried to rob him in his office and there was a struggle where then they ran away.

That is a powerful lesson. My father loved Shabbat and he was able to leave behind every day, business and all its anxieties, guilt and worries and enjoy Shabbat the way it’s supposed to.

THE PERSONAL LIVES OF GREAT LEADERS

May 19, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

his article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Berrel Wien , Yossi Bilus, Asher Hertzberg, Jay Shapiro, Yitzchak Frankfuter, Abba Goldman

The first lady Jacqueline Kennedy was very much a private person. When she went on mini vacation her husband, the President, decided to have a public photo shoot with the kids….opposite attract

One advocate of a dethroned leader complained “How can you disclose embarrassing information about our great leader?” The reply was, “Why not? He has committed himself to the public, therefore he has exposed everything about himself to the world. Nothing is private anymore for him. He’s fair game! A public figure has no right privacy.”

However that is insane!! It’s a recipe for disaster for any leader or public figure, or really anyone for that matter, as we all have skeletons in our closet. No one is ‘squeaky clean perfect’ and if someone happens to actually be the “white puritan”, frankly my dear, that would constitute abnormality and would be considered a freak of nature.

Does the reader agree?
Perhaps the reply of “a public figure has no privacy” is rooted in this week’s parsha. In parshat Emor, it teaches us special laws and obligations that the Torah places upon the High Priest, he Kohen Gadol. He is limited in his marriage choices, his bereavement behavior and in other matters of seemingly personal life. Is it not sufficient that he perform his duties – especially his detailed Yom Kippur duties – in a competent and efficient manner? After all, is not one entitled to a private and personal life, even if one holds high public office? Apparently the Torah does not feel so. Being the High Priest is not a job. It is not even what our non-Jewish friends refer to as “a calling.” It is rather a position of moral leadership and a role model stature in Jewish life. What is the lesson involved in these restrictions and guidance of the High Priest?

The scrutinizing of the High Priest has may have been a springboard for all leaders thought history to be hounded and examined with a magnified glass, but in truth there is no comparison between the High Priest and other leaders. That is because the High Priest’s chief scrutinizer is none other than G-d. Evidence of this is that if he has skeletons in his closet, G-d will smite him on Yom Kippur.

As explained by the historian Rabbi Berel Wein: One of the signs of corruption that doomed the Second Temple Commonwealth of Judea (Bais Sheni) was the unethical behavior of many of the High Priests who served in the Temple during that period of Jewish history. The Talmud teaches us that many of them died when entering the Holy of Holiness because of their unworthy private behavior. There where Kohanim that seemingly had the confidence of the people however “G-d examines the hearts.” He determines which Kohen Gadol is worthy and moral. For this reason a rope was attached to their leg so they can be pulled out in case they perish. Nobody but the Kohen Gadol is allowed in the Holies of Holies.

The public figure, the leader has been the object of the paparazzi and the National Enquirer ever since.

A question is posed: With the exception of Kohen Gadol, is it fair to judge personal behavior of a leader, such as Rabbi, head of State, or congressmen to determine if they are suitable for such a lofty position? Shouldn’t we look at other factors – economic issues, issues concerning our rights to live as Orthodox Jews, religious freedom, and liberty issues? There are issues that relate to bringing resources into our communities. There are other issues, too. Who services the constituency best? Who is most likely to be responsive to individual phone calls for assistance on individual matters? Aren’t these issues just as important as morality?

We need to look where the leader stands on other issues, such as the resource issues, the economic issues, the religious liberty issues, and accessibility. You have to judge a candidate based on the totality of the situation. Though moral issues are certainly a relevant factor, they are not the only factor.

THE MORAL ISSUE
Reflecting what we discussed earlier, morality is the classic Jewish tradition of picking a leader. Interestingly, there was clever message conveyed by a Politian (scholar) who felt the importance, or for that matter non-importance, of the moral issue: “The Jewish children in exile were always dependent on intermediaries to represent their interests in the countries where they sojourned…. Such an intermediary is nothing more than a messenger. No one ever checked the morality of a messenger, or was interested in his private life, as long as he gave the desired results-i.e., the proper representation of Jewish interests.”

That was the language of an ad that ran in Der Yid, a Satmar paper based in Williamsburg, during a re-election campaign for Fred Richmond, the congressional representative for Williamsburg during the late ’70s and early ’80s. Richmond had a depraved personal life; the ad was promoting the idea that the chassidic readers of the paper, who were so careful in their own lives about any hint of immorality, should overlook Richmond’s immorality because he was helping the community with its needs. The ad was obviously countering those who had objected to Richmond on those grounds.

RESPECT
Dr. Abba Goldman mentions the number one factor is that the leader has to earn the respect of the people. Perhaps, he says it might override in some instances the morality importance.

King David didn’t care about his honor by dancing with the Torah; he did it for the sake of G-d. Michal, his wife, who witnessed this, didn’t think it was dignified to do so. She thought it was unbecoming that the king dance and show a glimpse of his legs. The act shows a disregard for modesty and would hamper the respect and dignity of the King. Nevertheless, G-d was honored by David’s devotion and Michal was punished for criticizing. It’s not an easy understanding for Michal’s train of thought was in line with her father, Shaul’s, philosophy of modesty and respect.

Not with standing, one sees at what degree our ancestors value modesty and respect of a leader. Here is another example pertaining do King David again: When Shimi ben Gerah insulted King David the incident was not forgotten. On his death bed the King instructs his son Shlomo to “do what is right”. At the end Shimi ben Gerah was executed and the King’s honor had been defended.

Dr. Goldman and many relates that the blame and failure of 9/11 should be pointed to the Clinton administration. A year before, there was a terrorist attack against the United States Navy guided-missile destroyer USS Cole (DDG-67) on 12 October 2000, while it was harbored and being refueled in the Yemeni port of Aden. 17 American sailors were killed, and 39 were injured. This event was the deadliest attack against a United States Naval vessel since 1987. The terrorist organization al-Qaeda claimed responsibility for the attack. Clinton had such a poor relationship with congress following the Lewinsky debacle that any proposal including how to deal with Al Quade would and did go on deaf ears. Congress had no respect for the President and in turn he was ineffective.

Part of the blame has to be directed to the press for reporting and making a mockery of the Clinton/Lewinsky incident. Interestingly, John F Kennedy was just as immoral as Clinton, however he was an effective President. The press never reported his indecency even though it was occurring regularly in the White House.

Can one imagine if they did report the indecency and made light of the President? Does one think Cuba, neighboring communist country at the time, would have backed down and pulled their missiles?

As an example, in Syria, before the civil war there, it was a crime to make fun of the president of the country. No comedian was immune. This concept was taken to an extreme where no one was permitted to laugh in Nevuchadnetzar’s Babylonia, for the king had an inferiority complex and thought they were laughing at him for being short. It was ‘respect through fear’ that these leaders tried to force on their people. Seemingly respect is needed to have an effective leader. Astonishingly, respect is what Ronald Reagan received without the use of force and with the late night comedians whose job it was to ridicule politicians and the establishment.

One of our beloved leaders who had to admit an embarrassing moment in his private life was Yehuda, Yaakov’s son. Even though his act was considered lowly, Yehuda admitted and faced up to his guilt and was hailed in high regards for doing so by his brothers and by G-d. He took responsibility for his action. Yehuda is a prime example of “nobody’s an angel, but be a man and pick up the pieces”. For reward for his admission he and his genealogy were appointed royalty, leaders of the Jewish people forever

ABILITY TO GET ALONG
Some say there are more crucial character traits we should look for then to poke into the private life of a candidate. One of the aspects of a good leader is the ability to get along with others. This character trait is a must when dealing with subordinates, heads of state and so forth. In the up and coming election, there happens to be such a person. One has to ask can he make rational decisions if he has constantly dismissing and berating everyone. Can his subordinates do the optimal best in their field dealing with such mental abuse?

NIXON AND RABBI AVIGDOR MILLER

In the late 60’s many religious Jew broke from the mold and voted Republican. Although, the Democrats supported Jewish cause and education the Jewish Rabbinical leaders including Rabbi Avigdor Miller were vocal in voting for Nixon. “Don’t make calculations concerning the yeshivas – it’s not a concern because the Ribbono Shel Olam feeds and gives sustenance to all. Don’t rely on princes. They are not a source of parnassah. G-d has many messengers. The reason to vote” – this was even with Nixon – “is because Nixon is against Russia, and Russia was the enemy of Hashem. It says, ‘Ohavei Hashem sinu ra.’ Comunist were atheist. [Those who love Hashem hate evil.]’ He said, ‘I have no love lost for Nixon or for any of them, but when I come to shamayim, they’ll ask, “Did you stand on my side?”

Rabbi Avigdor Miller said that when we vote, we vote the same way. He said, ‘I’m not afraid of Russia personally. The President, who is against Russia, is against them for his own reasons, because they are the Big Bad Wolf and they are having an arms race with nuclear ballistic missiles. Our interest has nothing to do with that. We’re not afraid of them; we just have to stand against them because they are kofrim [deniers] in Hakadosh Baruch Hu.’ That was his position.

It is important to note many clarify the moral issue: not so much the moral personal life of the candidate but what does he/she morally stand for. Perhaps that is the moral issue!! This brings us to the other prime candidate of this election. Perhaps it’s commendable that she had taken the abuse and humiliation of her husband and stuck with the marriage, however does she approve of same sex marriage and abortion, which is directly against the Torah?

Traditionally Jews in this country have always voted Democrat for they help financially to our Yeshivas. We value a Torah education which is our prime directive. However the Democrats of today are in favor of same sex marriage and abortion, someplace they weren’t 20 years ago. It seems like though todays Republicans are yesterday’s Democrats.

We can learn much from the two king that Avraham and Sarah visited. Both were immoral. Avimelech did everything in secret while Pharoah was not discreet and shameful, he did everything in the open.

On the last meeting between Avraham and Pharaoh, Pharaoh suggested something to Avraham which the latter acknowledged “This place is not for you.” In other words, we have different moral values. Perhaps, we should take some of the suggestions of some of the prominent Rabbis who denounced President Clinton. If he can do what he did and not feel remorse, it’s time we should depart this country. However there are those that say “Let’s remember we are in a non-Jewish state, what do you expect?

We see that although traditionally the primary decision on a leader was the moral issue many Rabbi’s or heads of communities look for other factors in picking a leader. Perhaps yes or perhaps not the private lives of leaders is best be left alone and not disclosed there are other important issues? That is a hot debate in today’s times.

WE WANT ELIYAHU HANAVI

April 18, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

There is a Hassidic tale which relates beautifully to our topic. It was told by our newest of consultants to the “Cup of Coffee” team, Rabbi Asher Hurtzberg

There was a young Chassid who was enamored by the rituals of Pesach. He would be anticipating its arrival for months. He was fascinated by the participation of all present at the Seder night, especially his father at the head of the table who was orchestrating the evening. Everybody dressed in their best. But what struck the Chassid most was Eliyahu Hanavi. His arrival was quite a dramatic event. The arrival of the great Eliyahu to his home was mesmerizing. What can we offer him? What does he like? When he departs what kind of bracha will he bless us with? What message did he bring with him and how can we become better Jews from his visit? Those were all questions that raced through his mind.

This Chassid was in his early twenties, not yet married. The young man was intense in his learning and was able to grasp spiritual concepts, drawing them to him like a vacuum. He was starving for more spirituality and he asked his Rebbi a question which he wanted to ask for quite some time. “Rebbi” the Chassid said approaching his Rebbi in private, “I would like to see Eliyahu when he comes in at the Seder. Please tell me, how can I meet him?” Now this was not a child asking to see Eliyahu and anticipating a chocolate bar from the great prophet, this was an adult who wanted to explore the essence of the being, of the spirit.

The young man pressed the Rebbi more. “Perhaps I can come to the house of the Rebbi, I’m sure there’s a better chance to meet him there.”

The Rebbi stroked his beard and answered the young student. “Well, if you really want to meet Eliyahu, then perhaps I can arrange it. There is a town not far away and in that town lives this very pious Jew. Eliyahu most likely will come to see him.”

The young man was very exited at the potential meeting, however he had some concerns. Pesach is a very stringent holiday in terms of kashrus – dietary laws, especially since various groups had their own chumras – stringencies. No one ate outside their own home in those days. Boy, times have changed. These days Eliyahu has to book a flight to Miami and be directed to Collins Ave.

The Rebbi responded “Don’t be so concerned. Why don’t you bring your own food?” The young Chassid was thrilled at the opportunity to meet Eliyahu Hanavi face to face, perhaps maybe just in the spiritual realm. This was his childhood dream with a grown up sophisticated attachment; “Wonderful!” he proclaimed as he left the Rebbi’s quarters.

The young man arrived at the address which the Rebbi had instructed. He knocked on the door whereupon he was greeted by the owner. The owner was taken a back at the sudden guest. “I would be honored to spend the Seder by your home” the young man said. The owner was dirt poor and was wondering for months how he was going to make Pesach now this unexpected person arrived. The host was horrified “What am I going to feed him, I can barely feed my own family?” he thought.

The young Chassid realized the poor condition of his host. Not only did the Chassid assure him that he will eat his own food, he also offered food for the host and his family, since he brought extra.

However, the Chassid was disappointed with his trip, for both nights of the Seder, Eliyahu Hanavi did not show up. There was no vibe; there was no spiritual awakening; there was just a long journey back.

Upon arriving at his Rebbi’s house, he said in disappointment, “K’vod HaRav, Eliyahu did not come.”

The Rebbi was surprised. “Are you sure?” the Rebbi responded. The Rebbi suggested that they both go back to the poor man’s house and get to the bottom of this.

The two men set out and journeyed back to the nearby town. As the approached the man’s house they over hear the man telling his neighbor. “I did not know how I would make Pesach; I didn’t know how I was going to feed my family. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Eliyahu Hanavi showed up with food for us!”

It’s a beautiful story and I especially was taken aback for it also touches a personal cord, my family also experienced a similar “act of Eliyahu”.

One example is a story I’ve been told countless times since I was a kid. A month after my parents immigrated to this country, my mother quickly got a job in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Kol haKavod to many New Yorkers who have these daily rigorous commutes to and from work. My mother had to quickly learn this new system, which was obviously most difficult since she did not speak a word of English. For this job route, she needed to switch numerous trains to get to this location. During the first week of this new experience, instead of taking the local train, she mistakenly took the express and ended up north of the City. It was a culture shock to be in a train station and not seeing one familiar face. Imagine yourself in this woman’s shoes – a month ago, she was in a familiar setting of the comfortable confines of her own people, her own language, and her own country. And now, she is getting a guided tour by the New York City transit system of one of the worst neighborhoods in the country. Welcome to New York! Then, out of nowhere, comes this Chassidic old man who just happens to speak Hebrew. He calmed my mother down and guided her to the right train en-route back to her life.

It’s a powerful message that the Rebbi taught the Chassid. We must not look for Eliyahu for we ourselves have the capability to be that savior. It’s our jobs as Jews to look after our fellow perhaps then that will bring the redemption

CEO of Starbucks Howard Shultz and the Rabbi

April 18, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

The following story was told over at an awards ceremony for Howard Schultz, chairman and chief global strategist of the famed coffee company, Starbucks Corp. Schultz received the Botwinick Prize in Business Ethics from Columbia Business School in 2000, and during his acceptance speech, he related a fascinating insight into how he became a better person.

“When I was in Israel,” Schultz related, “I went to Meah Shearim, the ultra-Orthodox enclave within Jerusalem. Along with a group of businessmen I was with, I had the opportunity to meet with the head of the Mir Yeshiva, Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel. I had never heard of him before and didn’t know anything about him. We were ushered into his study and waited for close to fifteen minutes before the Rabbi came in. What we did not know was that Rabbi Finkel was severely afflicted with Parkinson’s disease. He sat down at the head of the table, and immediately we looked away. We didn’t want to embarrass him. Suddenly, the Rabbi banged on the table and said, ‘Gentlemen, look at me, and look at me right now!’

“His speech affliction was worse than his shaking. It was really hard to listen and look at him at the same time. He said, ‘I have only a few minutes for you because I know you’re all busy American businessmen!’ You know, just a little dig there.

“Then he asked, ‘Can anyone tell me what the lesson of the Holocaust is?’ He called on one guy – it was like being called on in the fifth grade – and not knowing the answer. The guy said something benign like, ‘We will never forget?’ “The Rabbi completely dismissed him. Rabbi Finkel was looking around the table to call on someone else. We were all sort of under the table, looking away, hoping he would not call on any one of us. Personally, I was sweating. He called on another guy, who I thought had such a fantastic answer. ‘We will never, ever again be a victim or bystander.’ “But the Rabbi said, ‘You guys just don’t get it. Okay, let me tell you the essence of the human spirit. As you know, during the Holocaust, the people were transported in the worst most inhumane ways imaginable. The people thought they were going to a work camp but we know they were sent to concentration camps. After hours and days in this horrific corral with no light, no bathroom and extreme cold, they arrived at the camps. The doors were swung wide open, and they were blinded by the light. Men and women were separated, mothers from daughters, fathers from sons. Eventually, they were sent to the barracks. “As they went into the sleeping area, only one person was given a blanket for every six. The person who received the blanket had to decide before going to sleep, ‘Am I going to push the blanket to the five other people who did not get one, or am I going to pull it towards myself to stay warm?’ These are the types of questions they asked themselves. “Rabbi Finkel paused for a moment. Then he said, ‘Gentlemen, it was during this defining moment that we learned the power of the human spirit, because we pushed the blanket to five others. That is the lesson of the Holocaust!’ “With that, he stood up and said, ‘Take your blanket. Take it back to America – and push it to five other people!'”

There is a follow-up to this story. Apparently Mr. Schultz later returned to Israel and visited Rabbi Nosson Tzvi again. This time, he pulled out a blank check, signed it and told Rabbi Finkel to fill it out for whatever he wants. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi asked him, “I can fill out this check for whatever I want?” Mr. Schultz answered in the affirmative. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi picked up his pen and wrote out the check for $1400. Then, he handed the check to Howard Schultz, and told him to take it across the street to the scribe (Sofer), use it to buy a pair of Tefillin, and promise to put it on every day. His Yeshiva was millions of dollars in debt, and Rabbi Nosson Tzvi worked very hard to raise money for the Yeshiva, but he thought about his fellow Jew first

WHAT DOES THE MESSAGE OF PESACH HAVE TO DO WITH MY LIFE TODAY?

April 18, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s, Yonossan Zweig, Berrel Wein, Yossi bilus, Akiva Tatz, Asher Hurzberg, Ilan Feder

Does the message of Pesach have any relevance in today’s day and age?

Why is the Halach Ma’anya written in Aramaic?

When is the best time to say Halach Ma’anya?

How do we answer the question that the four sons ask?

The much anticipated, much glorified, and if you’re a housewife (or for that matter in today’s day and age houseman) somewhat scary holiday is at our threshold. Pesach! Such wonderful childhood memories invoke yours truly of this glorious holiday. I must say my parent did a fine job; the singing, the rituals, the education, the entertainment, the tradition, the food! A package deal is what my parents so artfully delivered to us every Pesach. We didn’t go away like most families. The home always had a very intimate flavor that naturally glorified the holiday so much more than any vacation package in Florida could offer.

Pesach marks the uniqueness of the Jewish people – a people delivered from centuries of bondage through miraculous Heavenly intervention. One of the main functions of Pesach is to connect us to an event that occurred millennia ago in a distant land.

However, if one doesn’t have the fond child memories, the natural inclination of people is to feel disconnected to that event. Even if there were memories, they may be “lukewarm”, so to speak, so how can one muster the stamina to sit through an entire Seder? How much juice is left in the clown outfit that the father wears, the Uncle Moishe type Seders with lots of singing, or as what my son’s past Pre-1A Rebbi who suggested, having little plastic frogs and use small super balls for the plagues to stimulate the interest in the kids? Even the classic traditions like hitting each other with scallions during the recitation of “Dayenu” can grow “stale” over time. There are some who even march around the table carrying a sack of cloths as if they left Egypt. All these props are childish but loads of fun and carry much great memories. Nevertheless, is it enough to keep the interest? Life is such that kids grow up, Teens grow up and need more sophisticated stimulation. They start asking serious question. What do we do then? This is implicit in the questions raised in the section of the Hagadah devoted to the four sons. Their basic question is: “What is the relevance of this long-ago event to me?” And this has remained the basic question in all of Jewish life throughout the ages.z

The enormous number of Jews who are completely disconnected from their faith and their people, from their homeland of Israel and from the values and observances of Torah, testifies to the intensity of the difficulty posed by this question. They say “If the Exodus from Egypt does not speak to me, then the rest of Judaism is pretty immaterial to me as well.”

Perhaps, one can take a look at some cues in the Hagadah where one can seek a valuable lesson and the answer to that age old question of “What’s the relevance!?”

As we begin the Maggid – the telling over of the story of our history section of the Seder, we recite the very peculiar paragraph of Halach Ma’anya. Although it is a unique moment for every individual sitting at the Seder who each actually have their own turn to simultaneously say the proclamation and to physically hold the Matzahs, surprisingly enough, the recitation is not in Hebrew. Why do we recite it in Aramaic? It is a language no one understands!!

Secondly, one of the messages in the short paragraph is that we invite whoever is hungry to come and eat – “kol dichfin yesei v’yeichol”, and whoever requires a place to eat Korban Pesach to come and partake – “kol ditzrich yesei v’yifsach”. So, aside from the language issue, this invitation is not only presented at the wrong time, for Kiddush has already been recited and the meal has already begun, but it’s in the wrong place as well, for it is issued in the privacy of our own homes. If we want to invite people, perhaps we should recite the proclamation out on the street and catch some of the passersby where then we’ll invite them in. Furthermore, to partake in the Korban Pesach one had to be a member of the group from the time the Korban was slaughtered earlier in the day. What purpose do this invitation serve?

WHY LAVAN?

One of the conversations which we discuss at the start is about the individual “Lavan HaArami” the brother and no-goodnik of our sacred matriarch Rivka. Why start with him, out of all people, when we have some of the most colorful characters in history in our past? Purim was just a few weeks ago. Let’s use Haman instead!

The Torah describes Lavan as a “ramai” – trickster.” The entire region was known for this quality; the Hebrew letters of the word “Aram” when rearranged spell the Hebrew word “ramai”. A ramai is not the same as a “ganav” – “thief”. A thief maintains no pretenses that his actions are in the victim’s best interest. A ramai is a confidence man, possessing the ability to deceive the victim into believing that he is gaining from the actions of the ramai. It is only later that the victim realizes that he has been victimized. The ability to perpetrate such a crime requires the ramai to know exactly what the victim is thinking, to see the victim’s perspective. He has to be an expert on human psychology. It’s a sensitivity issue that the ramai has to proficient in. This quality of sensitivity can be utilized in a positive manner. The greatest “chesed” – “acts of kindness” are performed by an individual who is sensitive to the needs of the recipient.

One of our forefather Avraham, the first Jew, greatest achievements is when he hosted the three angels. It was tremendous feat of kindness. It just so happens that the pinnacle of chesed incident, the “hosting the three angels” occurred on Pesach. Interestingly, a year later on the very day of Pesach G-d destroyed the city of S’dom and Amora (Sodom and Gomorra to use the English names for them). These two cities represented the antithesis of chesed.

A Jew essence is built on the philosophy of chesed this was passed down from Avraham. The importance of the virtue of kindness is immeasurable. We find that our Patriarch Avraham made it his number one priority by sending his trusted servant Eliezer to find his beloved son a wife. The prime directive is that she should possess is the quality of chesed.

Incredibly, with the negative environment surrounding her it seemed miraculous that Rivka emerged as quintessence fit for Avraham’s family of chesed and for his heir apparent, his son Yitzchak.

How can that happen? How did Avraham know that a treasure lies among the swamps? The mainstream commentary, Rashi, sites that the Torah in its repetition of where Rivka came from praises her by noting that although she had been brought up in such adverse surroundings, she was not influenced by the actions of the wicked. Generally, Rashi’s comment is understood to mean that in spite of her environment she was able to maintain her righteousness. Analyzing the Midrash we see however that this cannot be the entire meaning of the message, for the Midrash from which Rashi derives his comment cites the verse in King Shlomo’s Shir Hashirim to describe Rivka’s qualities “kashoshana bein hachochim” – “like a rose among the thorns.” If the intent of the Midrash is to point out that Rivka retained her righteousness in the face of adversity, then the thorns would represent the adversity. This analogy is difficult for the rose does not thrive in spite of the thorns, rather because of the thorns that protect it and allow it to thrive. What then is the message of the verse?

Sensitivity is an important trait in elevating ourselves in developing relations with G-d and our fellow man. The greatest “chesed” – “acts of kindness” are performed by an individual who is sensitive to the needs of the recipient. Although Aram was notorious for their trickery, Avraham wanted a wife for Yitzchak who would possess this same sensitivity that a Lavan uses for his trickery, when performing kindness. It was this genetic quality that Avraham wanted to infuse into Klal Yisroel, and it was this quality that Eliezer was looking for when testing Rivka. This is the message of the Midrash; the thorns reflect the quality of the “ramai” by which Rivka was surrounded, but which enabled her to achieve the great levels of chesed of which only she was able. She had the gift of sensitivity as did her brother. However she used it for kindness and good while her brother used it for trickery and evil.

Many of us are proud to host guest on Shabbat and Holidays. We have to understand that a guest or for that matter a family member is very special on Pesach, for the objective is to perform for them a mitzvah of the highest level, which is the section in the Seder called “Maggid”. The Pesach Seder is a celebration of our redemption and we are all guests of honor. To prevent the guests from feeling beholden to the “Baal Habayit” (host) which would hinder, and repress their involvement and participation in the evening, we begin the Seder by allowing the guests to invite others. The Talmud states “ein oreyach machnis oreyach” – “a guest is not permitted to invite other guests.” However, a guest of honor has the right to invite whomever he chooses. The message we are relaying to all the participants is they are not merely guests obligated to the homeowner. Rather, they are all guests of honor, celebrating their own redemption. It is imperative that all the guests feel comfortable, for they have to speak freely and engage in the conversations of the evening to fulfill the mitzvah of “Tzipur Yetzias Mitzrayim” – Maggid. In the same vein, the Tosafot Yom Tov had a custom to spill wine on the clean tablecloth so that the guests would feel at ease. The purpose of the invitation is for the guests already assembled, not for those who are absent.

Rashi explains the term “chesed” as an Aramaic word meaning “shame”. However, in Hebrew “chesed” means “kindness”, a term with positive connotations. When a person does chesed he receives fulfillment from the act, while the recipient feels shame. The Hebrew and Aramaic meanings are therefore not contrary, but, in fact, complementary. The Hebrew translation focuses on the perspective of the giver while the Aramaic translation focuses on the perspective of the recipient. By using the Aramaic word “chesed”, the Torah is teaching us that when we do chesed, we should be SENSITIVE to the recipient’s shame. This way, we will do chesed in a manner which will diminish the recipient’s shame. It is therefore appropriate to begin the Seder in Aramaic for this is the language that symbolizes the sensitivity of seeing the perspective of another.

The prime directive is to make the guest or family member feel as comfortable as possible so he’ll have the inner strength to “ask”. Much of the Seder is designed to sprout those feelings. One of the reasons we drink the four cups of wine is for that very reason. Everyone is born with a certain defense mechanism where he or she has to a certain degree a feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way. We just don’t disclose our deepest and darkest secrets to the world. It’s unbecoming. Wine, though, has the some element within to relieve ones inhibitions. We, depending how much is consumed, let our guard down when we drink wine. This is the optimal scenario at the Seder night for we are not afraid to ask questions; its designed that way. We have to be pro-active in conversation, speaking of course about Jewish or Torah topics. All of a sudden, everyone at the Seder is your friend. Wine brings unity. We just have to be careful not to drink a little too much, not to spill the beans. For this reason we are forbidden to drink with non-Jews. We have to realize our place and our commitment to G-d.

Aside from the sensitivity required of the host to give the participants the feeling that they are guests of honor, the very nature of Tzipur Yetzias Mitzrayim – the telling of the story requires seeing the perspective of another. The mitzvah must be performed “derech she’eilah uteshuvah” – “by question and answer”, i.e. the Socratic Method. The only way for such an approach to be effective is if the listener is sensitive to the questions being posed. Very often a person’s only interest is to make heard what he is thinking, and he does not address the question at all. The most important Jewish literary work after the Torah is the Talmud. The Talmud is also presented in the Socratic Method, question and answer. It is therefore most appropriate that the Talmud is written in Aramaic and in the region of Aram for this is the language and region that lends itself to seeing the perspective of others, crucial when attempting to respond to the queries and difficulties which are the basis of the Talmud. In other words, the Seder is all about questions. This is represented by the Four Sons.

So, what do we answer the Four Sons?

Incredibly the Hagadah is out of character answering the Rasha, Wicked Son. It is very negative to him. What happened to super-duper outreach? The Rasha is treated that way because he is negative. He asks a question but he doesn’t seem to seek an answer. Therefore his question is not a question, it’s a statement. Seemingly, he doesn’t want to listen. Even more so, the Rasha is making fun of it all. The Torah does not want have anything to do with scoffers and distractors. However the other sons are sincere about seeking an answer and should be approached differently.

Our fun ancient traditions, such as the scallions at the recitation of “Dayenu”, the sack on the shoulder, as well as our creative razzle dazzle new props of today, plastic frogs and so forth are right on the money in answering the question. Granted the Hagadah has the answers describing our illustrious past and describing some of our ancestor’s pain and triumph, however, frankly I’ve been in this business many years and pardon me if I’m a little bold when I say there are more Jews returning to Judaism after spending a Shabbat meal and experiencing the warmth of a family then an intellectual debate whether G-d exist.

We are human and not perfect. You, the host, may not have all the all answers to the questions but it’s irrelevant for the true answer lies with the kindness, warmth and sensitivity. That’s the answer they want to hear. Then they will hear the Exodus, the Matzah speak to them with all the traditions and all its glory.

Judaism and Loyalty

April 18, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s, Yissachar Frand, Yossi bilus, Asher Hurzberg and Mrs. Leah Kohn

L o y a l t y

We’re loyal to our jobs; we’re loyal to our country; we’re loyal to our spouse; we’re even loyal to our sports teams (Go, Mets)!! Loyalty is something we do. There are even loyalty programs that reward buyers for sticking with company brands. Perhaps we should even start a loyalty program with our “Cup of Coffee” newsletter. This notion of loyalty programs proposed by major US companies has steadily grown in popularity. Between 2008 and 2012, U.S. loyalty memberships increased by 10 percent per year – reaching on average over 23 memberships per household.

However, a McKinsey study showed that those that spend more on loyalty, or have more visible loyalty programs, grow at about the same rate – or slightly slower – than those that do not. Oops! Never mind about that proposal for our “Coffee”. Despite relative underperformance in terms of revenue growth and profitability, over the past five years, market capitalization for companies that greatly emphasize loyalty programs has outpaced that of companies that don’t. In other words, companies are still hoping and yearning that they will be rewarded with customer loyalty in due time. Nevertheless consumers, for the most part, are not loyal. Perhaps, human nature is such that, people want to believe that loyalty is important to all and therefore companies are banking on that premise.

The beginning of Parshas Tazria deals with the laws of purity and impurity associated with childbirth. At the end of the 40 day period of impurity and purity following the birth of a male, or at the end of the 80 day period of impurity and purity following the birth of a female, the mother is required to bring “a sheep within its first year for an olah-offering and a young dove or a turtle dove for a sin-offering” to complete her purification process [Vayikra 12:6].

WHY SPECIFICALLY THE YOUNG DOVE OR TURTLE DOVE?

Even though there are many kinds of kosher birds, the only kinds of birds that may be brought as sacrifices on the Altar are the young dove [ben-yonah] and the turtle dove [tor].

The Ramban writes that the Torah singled out torim as an appropriate species for karbanot-sacrifices, precisely because of their loyalty to each other. The tor [turtle dove] has a unique quality in the fact that it mates for life. If its partner is taken away from it or killed, it will not seek out another mate, but will seemingly mourn – as it were – for the first mate for the rest of its life. This unique quality makes them the optimum choice for spiritual elevation sought by the one bringing a bird sacrifice. The Ramban adds that even though bnei-yonah do not share this quality, they have an alternate characteristic which makes them appropriate. The young dove (the only kind of “ben yonah” which may be brought) has the trait that they always return to their nest. Most birds will never return to their nest once a human being touches it. The bnei yonah are an exception. They have such loyalty to their nests that they will return despite the fact that human hands may have tampered with the nest. The Ramban writes “So too Israel will not switch from loyalty to their Creator and His Torah forever.” Therefore, according to the Ramban, torim and bnei Yonah are the bird species used in the Bait HaMikdash because they share the quality of loyalty with the Jewish people

Of course, how is it possible to talk about loyalty and not discuss the most sacred union built on loyalty, namely the one between husband and wife?

Our beloved and popular king, whom we often associate with royalty, David had a wife who was the daughter of the previous king, Shaul. When David beat Goliath he was rewarded, as promised, the king’s daughter Michal. Now, Shaul was under much pressure from having to deal with the popularity of David, as David killed the heavily favored Goliath, and Shmuel’s prophecy which said that it was David who will reign after Shaul.

We learn in the Navi that Shaul was jealous of David and wanted to kill him. Interestingly, both David and Shaul were hailed righteous and have their sacred place in heaven. Hence the reader has to realize the difficult situation the two are in for, as there is no good guy or bad guy in this historic chain of events. Saul knows this prophecy to be already in motion, given that he has already experienced a loss of the special divine connection granted by God to leaders of the Jewish people. Even so…..

“…Saul sought to smite David even to the wall with a spear; but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, and he smote the spear into the wall; and David fled, and escaped that night. And Saul sent messengers unto David’s house, to watch him and to slay him in the morning; and Michal David’s wife told him, saying: ‘If thou save not thy life tonight, to-morrow thou shalt be slain.’ So Michal let David down through the window; and he went, and fled, and escaped. And Michal took the teraphim, and laid it on the bed, and put a quilt of goats’ hair at the head thereof, and covered it with a cloth. And when Saul sent messengers to take David, she said: ‘He is sick’. And Saul sent the messengers to see David, saying: ‘Bring him up to me in the bed, that I may slay him.’ And when the messengers came in, behold, the teraphim was in the bed, with the quilt of goats’ hair at the head thereof. And Saul said unto Michal: ‘Why hast thou deceived me thus, and let mine enemy go, that he is escaped?’ And Michal answered Saul: ‘He said unto me: Let me go; why should I kill thee?'” (I Samuel, 19: 10 – 17)

The above passage relates one incident in the ongoing conflict between David and Saul. In this instance Michal (who is both David’s wife and Saul’s daughter) is directly involved in the sequence of events. She finds herself in the middle of the struggle between the two men and is forced to choose between two family members whom she loves and admires and who are important pillars of the Jewish nation. Because of her equally deep connection to Saul and David, Michal will most likely cause great pain to whomever she does not ultimately assist.

Michal’s decision is a difficult one, but her responsibilities under the circumstances in which she finds herself are outlined by Jewish law. The Torah obligates a married woman to act first and foremost in support of her husband, if he is in need. As the text relates, Michal does so by helping David to escape from their home, and then creating a “stand-in” so to speak for her husband, by disguising a life size statue with a wig of goat’s hair and placing it in bed under the covers. She next tells Saul’s men who have come for David that her husband is sick and cannot be extradited to the palace. This ruse buys time enough for David to escape to safety.

Michal’s obligation to her father, Saul, runs diametrically opposite her responsibilities to David. Specifically, the Torah prohibits a child from causing pain to a parent – and Michal knows her father will suffer, once he finds out she has orchestrated David’s escape. Thus, under the inordinate pressure of a life or death situation, Michal must quickly make her decision and act. She does so, with great loyalty to Torah, by saving David, as Torah dictates she must. And having acted within the parameters of Jewish law, Michal might have stopped at this point and found consolation for her own distress as well as for the inevitable pain of her father. She might have admitted to herself that – like many difficult decisions in life – this one involved human suffering.

While others in her position may have chosen this route to resolution, Michal pushes onward, and this is where she distinguishes herself as a great Jewish heroine. She insists upon re-evaluating the situation and in doing so, she comes up with a plan to spare her father any pain, by relating to her father a second version of what has transpired with David. When Saul realizes that Michal has enabled David’s departure, he asks her, “Why hast thou deceived me thus, and let mine enemy go, that he is escaped?” The answer Michal contrives – “He said unto me: Let me go; why should I kill thee?” – implies for Saul’s benefit that David did not want to harm his wife in order to prevent her from informing Saul of his escape. In addition, her response conveys the message that, even when his own life is in danger, David is careful not to inflict harm on another. Michal suggests to her father that, for the sake of their marriage and because of his true love for his wife, David had virtually begged Michal to assist him and to gain for him the extra time necessary for his escape to safety.

Michal suggests to her father – hoping he will conclude on his own – that David is a person of high caliber, who has a high regard for the life of each and every individual, who cherishes his marriage, and whose character Saul might well reassess. From this point of view, Saul may reconsider his own decision to kill David. Seeing how David cares so deeply for the life of others, Saul may ultimately conclude that David wants neither to harm him nor rebel against him. Michal’s subtle appeal to Saul takes place on an emotional level, as a daughter’s request that her father reconsider his opinion of the husband she so loves and esteems.

Michal’s plan works. For the moment she convinces Saul to cease his pursuit of David.

There is an amazing story pertaining to the great Rabbi Chaim Berlin. He would often read the Shir Hasirim to the congregation on Shavuot, as per the Ashkenazi custom, and would get choked up when reading the passage “Your eyes are beautiful like a dove”. The Sages suggest that King Shlomo was referring G-d talking his children, bnei Yisrael. When asked, why he would react that way, he respond that as a mohel he was once approached, discreetly, by someone who wanted him to perform circumcision on his son. However the father emphasized “there will not be a minyan (quorum of ten men) present” for he did not want anyone to discover that he was Jewish. The Rabbi complied and the circumcision was performed with only the Mohel the father and a close friend present.

Sometime later, the Rabbi reached out to the father and asked “I don’t understand. It seems like you’re completely removed from Judaism where you don’t even resemble in any way, being a Jew, why would you care then if your son is circumcised?

The father answered, “I made my choice not to practice Judaism however if my son ever decides to pursuit the idea of being Jewish I don’t want the brit Milah to be an obstacle, to stand in his way, if he wants to return.”

Rabbi Chaim Berlin would cry when reading this particular passage, for a dove never strays too far from the nest for he knows that no matter what, he’ll always return. The same thing applies to us Jews. Even though we stray a bit far in our hearts we always know we can return. That is loyalty!

Michal offers today’s couple an example of exemplary conduct, even under duress. Given that we spend a great deal of time under the duress of day to day life in our fast paced world, Michal remains a role model who performed loyalty to her husband, a trait that G-d seeks in all of us.

A final story. When Rabbi Pinchas Sheinberg’s wife was very ill laying in a coma at the hospital, the old and frail Rabbi would make it his business to visit her every day. One of the nurses asked the Rav Sheinberg, “Rabbi why do you come here every day? She doesn’t see you”. He replied “I’m not here so my wife to see me; I’m here to see my wife”..

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