Archive for MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson

Why does the Tamar Incident Stand Out for Yehuda?

September 1, 2013 MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

          Why is Yehuda’s reward so great? As a reward for his handling of the incident of Tamar, he received tremendous “brawny” points in this world and the next. Yaacov, his father, blessed him that he would be the king. His descendants–and only his descendants– are to be the monarchs. However, if one carefully thinks of what happened, would anybody in their right mind give the green light to burn three innocent people in Tamar and the twins that she is carrying?

          Before we answer this question let’s present a little background. Tamar, Yehuda’s widowed daughter-in-law, was tossed aside and not offered the opportunity to remarry and have children in this family. Yehuda was concerned for the safety of his last son. When bad luck strikes, one cuts their losses and severs contacts. Perhaps this was Yehuda’s intentions. Tamar took action. Showing tenacity and cleverness, she disguised herself as a prostitute and lured Yehuda into having relations with her and he had no idea it was his daughter-in-law. Months later, it was discovered that she’s pregnant. Yehuda, figuring she had relationship with someone outside his family, demanded a trial where, if found guilty, she would be punished with death. At the trial where basically everyone was present, Tamar produced Yehuda’s stick. She told Yehuda and all the other people “whoever this stick belongs to is the one responsible for my pregnancy”. Yehuda then realized it was he who had impregnated her.
          Tamar put the ball in his court. No one knew whose stick it was except for Yehuda and Tamar. For Yehuda, who was considered a man of prominence, to go to a prostitute, was considered very demeaning. If it were disclosed at the trial that it was indeed Yehuda, he would have been the laughingstock of the town. Yehuda then acknowledged in public that indeed it was he who was responsible for his daughter-in-law’s pregnancy. Now any person with integrity would have saved these people (Tamar and unborn twins) from death. So why was Yehuda’s action singled out?
          Many people, especially leaders, welcome self-improvement. They want to be the best they can be. However, they will improve in a more private setting. No one wants to show their vulnerability. Many of us will rationalize that if I get embarrassed, it will be a strike against G-d as well, since I’m in a highly esteemed position and I’m Jewish. Our Jewishness will be slighted and embarrassed. It’s not me that I’m concerned about, it’s the company, the cause, the system etc. It will not benefit anybody if we disclose our mishaps. Once one’s reputation is on the line, they can rationalize that perhaps I’m not so guilty. Subconsciously, they want to justify their actions because their integrity and ego is in question.
          Yehuda, as a judge, had numerous ways to re-direct the situation and everybody will come out looking clean. One should know that the essence of repentance is the acknowledgement of wrong-doing. He was one of the first individuals in the history of the world to publicly do repentance. Yehuda didn’t hesitate; he blurted out TZADKA MIMENI- SHE WAS RIGHT. I take responsibility for my mistake. It was not just to keep her alive, but also to emphasize that she was right in her actions. He wasn’t afraid to disclose the truth. He did not find a way to hide or cover the truth. This is the essence of his name, “acknowledgement”. Yehuda personifies what truth is all about. He is not afraid to show the world that he erred. In fact, he stepped forth in order to show that one has to correct himself. This is a true sign of leadership.

Decisions That Impact Many

August 30, 2013 MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

This week’s portion of the Torah we read about “If a Cohen’s (Priest’s) daughter has an adulterous affair, she defamed her father’s name, she should be put to death by burning”(21;9). We learn from Rav Henoch Leibowitz z”l who quotes the mainstream commentary Rashi, as he explains the verse above, she defamed and embarrassed her father’s honor, people would say on him ‘curse is the person who gave birth and curse is the person who raised such an individual’.

 

As we know, it was King David who laid the blueprints for the Bet Hamikdash (Temple). However, it was under King Solomon’s leadership that it was built. When King Solomon was married to the daughter of Pharaoh, one of his many wives, on the day of the inauguration of the long-awaited Temple, she caused him to oversleep. The entire nation was waiting for their King on this momentous occasion to lead the ceremony, not knowing that he was out of commission. Apparently, his mother, Batsheva, had a grasp on what was taking place. She had a sixth sense that mothers possess which led to her uneasy feeling. Mothers have a certain intuition about their children. (If I sneeze, my mother, who happened to be on the other side of town, will call me up and demand that I should put on my sweater.)

 

So Batsheva storms the King’s bedroom with the heel of her shoe in hand. She hits her son, King Solomon, scolding him ‘What are you doing? People would say I’m at fault for not raising you properly. They wouldn’t blame your father because he was a tzaddik. If you’re a rasha, they’ll blame me that I was the cause of your actions’. Perhaps we can deduce from the words of Batsheva. If the people did not believe David was a tzaddik, they would blame him for Solomon’s actions, even though David had been dead many years before the inauguration took place. Regardless, apparently the people would say that David did not give Solomon the proper education and this is the cause of his misstep. But the fact that David was a tzaddik, the blame would fall on his mother. The Gemarah deduces from what happens next during the inauguration ceremony; that whatever wrong King David did, G-d forgave him. This is evident from the mysteriously locked Temple doors, which would not open. Every effort was made by Shlomo and the sages to open the Temple, but it was to no avail, until Shlomo cried out to G-d ‘do it for the sake of my father, King David.’ With this cry, the doors opened.

 

Rav Leibowitz asks, why would anybody blame David or Batsheva for their son’s wrongdoings? At what point does an individual take responsibility for his own actions? Don’t you think at this stage of his life, he can make his own decisions? After all, he runs a kingdom; the Israelites at this juncture were considered a super power. We have to say this is human nature. People always link an individual’s negative and positive attributes to one’s parents. Even though one can argue that Shlomo didn’t do anything maliciously, David and Batsheva still would have felt slighted by their son’s actions, which would have been magnified in peoples’ eyes and would cause them embarrassment.

 

I know of an individual who was seeing a girl whom he was interested in marrying. Apparently, as the relationship got closer to the very serious state, it was disclosed that she had a relationship with a non-Jew. This was an issue; considering this person was a Cohen who cannot marry anyone who had such a relationship, he ended the relationship rationalizing, what would my ancestors say ‘you broke the family chain of Cohanim that goes back three thousand years because you’re in love’. This individual took tremendous pride of his Cohen status and of his family tradition. Today, he is performing his Cohen duties in synagogue along with his sons right by him.

 

Rav Leibowitz points out that Batsheva was more concerned in adding a sense of responsibility to Shlomo, than to her own personal pride. If one feels he is alone in sinning, he should think again. Many of his ancestors will be affected.

 

We conclude that any of our wrongdoings could be a violation of ‘honoring your father and your mother’ because it causes people to look negatively at our parents. Perhaps, if we are tempted to violate any laws, we should think twice because our parents’ honor is at stake.

The Most Important Moment in Your Life

August 26, 2013 MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

 

    

 

One of the first and foremost topics we read about in the parsha is about slaves. It happens to be that it’s also one of the first commandments that G-d instructed the Israelites, as they were packing to leave Egypt. The exact command involves setting free one’s slave. Why was it necessary to instruct them at that awkward time? This commandment won’t be applicable for at least a half a century later.

 

 

The Talmud relates a story of Rebbi Eliezer ben Dordia who was a womanizer to say the least. He was under the impression that every woman was permissible to him. One of his conquests made a chance remark one time, with a snickering expression, alluding to the fact that his actions in his lifetime will never enable any repentance to be accepted and he’ll never see the gates in heaven. In one’s lifetime there are few, very few times, where words pierce the heart. Her words had such a powerful affect on him that he sat down on a mountain and cried until he died. A heavenly voice proclaimed, “R Eliezer did repentance and has entered the World to Come”.

 

The Talmud continues describing how Rebbi cried after hearing the story. Everybody in the study hall wondered why was he crying? He should have been joyous towards R’ Eliezer. R’ Eliezer ben Dordia had raised himself from the degrading cesspool in life, to a place in heaven in an instant, wow!! R’ Eliezer ben Dordia was able to capitalize on the feeling in which he was so overwhelmed by the words of his companion in sin.

 

Similarly with the Israelites, the feeling of compassion towards slaves was to penetrate their heart as they themselves were being ushered over the threshold of slavery to freedom. What better time of strong emotional feelings to learn about the very law, of strong temptation not to release slaves whom have been with you for a lengthy period of time. That momentary feeling would stay with them for the rest of their lives and it would be taught to their children with tremendous emotion.

 

So why was Rebbi crying when he heard the story of R’ Eliezer? Rebbi didn’t cry for R’ Eliezer’s sake, but rather for all of humanity. Each one of us experiences a moment of awakening that is capable of impacting one’s entire life. Yet only one in a thousand, in fact, utilizes the moment. Most of us miss a chance; that is the very reason why we were put on this earth. This is why Rebbi cried.

 

 

“The Most Important Moment of Your Life” is from the writings of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, Sichot Mussar.

Crime of Humanity

August 14, 2013 MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson, Sensitivity To Others No comments

 

   

 

 

We are now, unfortunately, in the midst of the three weeks. During this period, we mourn the loss of our Temples approximately two thousand years ago. Rabbi Jay Shapiro of WITS Institute in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, says in this time we mourn humanity. He quotes a Ramban on the topic of Yosef and his brothers. The brothers were jealous of Yosef; when they were finally alone with him in the field, the idea sprouted in their heads to kill him. This suggestion was shot down by the older brother Reuben as it was too extreme of an act. So instead, one of the brothers suggested to throw him into a pit leaving him for dead. Apparently, they realized it might not be a good idea, where then it was decided to sell him instead. “Why should we have the blood of our brother on our hands?”
After many years, G-d created a famine which led them down to Egypt. The brothers faced the viceroy of Egypt, not knowing it was their long lost brother, and requested food for their families. The brothers were bothered at the trouble they were encountering. They spoke among themselves concluding that the reason G-d was punishing them was because they ignored Yosef’s pleas and cries as they threw him into the pit. He was begging them to get him out; however they disregarded him and enjoyed a meal among themselves.
So the Ramban asks, this is the one action they’re worried about? This is what you regret? What about wanting to kill him? What about selling him as a slave and ruining his life? What about the devastation they caused to their father? Why was it this particular incident that they felt they were in the wrong?
The brothers were intelligent, so the fact they picked this incident perhaps bring to light a concern of this action. They viewed it as cruel. The other incidences, though it was wrong, could be construed as impulsive, a crime of passion. Perhaps they might have had less control of the situation. However, cruelty, which they believed they displayed while they were eating and drinking, while their brother was pleading for his life, was inexcusable.

 

The first Temple was destroyed because of idol worshiping, murder, and sexual misconduct. These are considered serious stuff. However, it seems like after a number of years, G-d permitted the Temple to be rebuilt. Although horrible and hideous, nevertheless, it was the influence of the surroundings that propelled them to stoop that low. The second Temple, though, was destroyed for baseless hatred. It has been a very long time since, and G-d has not forgiven us.

 

Cruelty is an advanced state of hatred. It’s found in our inner personality. We have to address and curb this flaw in us because it could lead to devastating results. Some of which may not be forgiven by G-d.

 

The Power of Music

August 4, 2013 G-d and Us, Music, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
       I am going to quote, out of all things, a Bugs Bunny episode. “How crude” you probably think, “this is some sophisticated publication with the cup of coffee picture and all that!!” Well, sorry to disappoint you….so bring out the loony tunes!!
       For many years I thought Bugs Bunny contained some MUSSAR HASKEL -great wisdom, however, I was misled. Although there is some truth to it, by no means is it foolproof. As a matter of fact, what I am going to reveal here in this newsletter is quite the opposite of what the popular belief is.
       Our hero, Bugs Bunny, is being chased by a ferocious gorilla. But the smart bunny gets his way, as usual, and out wits the gorilla by calming him down playing soothing music in front of him. He even, by the end of the episode, enlists the big great ape to work for him. This is all done by playing the soothing music. The moral of the story: “music calms the savage beast” Well, sorry, but not exactly.
       Over the years there were a great many debate in Israel (aren’t there always great debates in Israel!) about whether the music of the classical composer Richard Wagner should be played or not. Wagner was a well known anti-Semite. His music and philosophy fueled and motivated Hitler, the German dictator, who attempted to annihilate the Jewish nation.
       On May 10 2013, a disturbing article was published in the New York Times. The article pertains to Wagner as the Wagner followers are commemorating 200 year anniversary of his death. Here are excerpts of the article:
       “This year the news magazine, Der Spiegel, featured a picture on its front cover of the composer [Wagner] holding a fire-breathing dragon on his lap with the words “200 Years of Richard Wagner: The Mad Genius”. For many, Wagner has come to symbolize the seeds of anti-Semitic sentiment in German culture that would grow into the Nazi terror.”

 

       “A cascade of boos during Saturday’s opening night performance turned into a flood of complaints about scenes of shootings and gassing.
It is not uncommon for stage productions in Germany to incorporate totalitarian themes, as the country continues to examine its troubled 20th-century past. According to news media reports, the opera showed the title character dressed as a concentration camp guard shooting Jewish prisoners. The opera’s statement said that distraught audience members even sought medical attention after watching the depictions of executions” the article continued.

 

       “The director, Burkhard C. Kosminski, declined to make changes to soften the impact of the violence. He told the newspaper Westdeutsche Zeitung that he had been completely transparent with the opera house about his intent for the production and that he was not a “scandal director.”‘

       Some very interesting lessons can be derived from the actual article quoted by the New York Times, published in Der Spiegel, which was written by Dirk Kurbjuweit. Here is a translation of an excerpt:

 

       “The composer still casts a dark shadow today. Music and the Holocaust come together in that shadow: one of the most beautiful things created by man, and one of the worst things human beings have done. Wagner, the mad genius, was more than a composer. He also influenced Adolf Hitler and the Third Reich, even though he was already dead when the 12-year-old Hitler heard his music live for the first time when he attended a production of “Lohengrin” in the Austrian city of Linz in 1901. Describing the experience, during which he stood in a standing-room only section of the theater, Hitler wrote: “I was captivated immediately”.
       Many feel the same way as well. They listen to Wagner and are captivated, overwhelmed, smitten and delighted. Wagner’s hateful essay “Judaism in Music” offered Hitler an idea of how far one could go with anti-Semitism. The composer invoked the downfall of the Jews. To quote Nazi propaganda minister, Joseph Goebbels, “Richard Wagner taught us what the Jew is.”

 

       Our Sages teach us to never underestimate the power of music.
Is it possible that Wagner’s anti- Semitic feeling penetrated the souls of the Third Reich through his music?
If that’s true, then music doesn’t really calm the savage beast
       Let us examine the one person who embodied the concept of music and wrote the masterpiece work, Tehilim -Psalms, which is the root of many songs, King David.
Why is Tehilim so important?
Why do we read Tehilim in times of trouble or when people are sick?
Why do some psalms start with LEDAVID MIZMORE -for David a song, while others start off with MIZMORE LEDAVID – a song for David?
       There are four ways one can connect to G-d. One way is through “thought”. Meditation, which if one does intensely through thought, is a prime means of reaching a high level of spirituality. By the way, concentrating on breathing is a big part of meditation. “G-d blew into mans nostrils” ( Bereshit 2:8). One can achieve superior feeling with breathing exercises.
       Another way to connect to G-d is through speech. Speech is a very powerful tool that each man possesses. The optimal way of prayer is through using words. By constructing the 22 Hebrew letters forming words and pronouncing them properly and correctly, one then is able to pave a direct link  to the Heavens. The Sages have cleverly constructed the prayers in the most optimal way. It is vital that one say every word clearly, thereby preserving the formula, structure and sequence.
       The third way is through raising your voice, which is screaming or sighing. We know that G-d heard the screams of the Jews in Egypt and after 210 years, opened the door to freedom for them. Because of their suffering, they were not able to express themselves verbally, merely sighing and crying. This was deliberately orchestrated by the enemy, working them to an exhaustive level until the point that words couldn’t come out, because they knew the power of the Jew is in his speech. Words have power. However, through an emotional sigh one can communicate with G-d as well.
The last is through music.
       In this week Parsha we discuss the Levites and their task in the Temple. One of their tasks was to sing. The sages ask, was the commandment to sing verbally or perhaps they hummed a tune? ( playing an instrument would fall in that category) Arguments can be made for both approaches.
       Speech is a gift and when the words are mixed with music, it becomes a potent weapon. As a mater of fact, this is why we sing in Synagogue.  The Chazzan is there to lead the congregation and entice them to sing along. SHIR is song and the root of SHIR is YASHAR -straight. In other words, if one sings his prayers properly, they will go straight to Heaven. The words give the prayers direction.
        However, some argue that a NIGUN -tune without word, is a higher level. Words constrict and limit the concept. It doesn’t fully express what’s in the heart. A NIGUN’s -tune’s capability is unlimited; only the sky is the limit.
        At some of the  Chassidim’s  happy occasions, one leads the crowd in a tune with no words. It’s an uplifting and amazing experience. A NIGGUN  is special in that every person in this universe is different. There are no words for our mixed emotions, and so when we sing a song together, our individual experiences get expressed in a unified way. We understand that the song connects us even when our individual stories may be somewhat different. Music transcends language. Perhaps that is why mothers sing to their babies and babies respond and connect positively to their mothers.
       Music uplifts the soul. The Mystics say that the reason music is so heavenly is because it actually does come from Heaven. It comes from the highest level of heaven “seventh heaven”. There, the Angels sing to G-d and one has to be privileged to be invited to the concert.
       Music can either come from a holy source or from evil. It trickles down to us and we feel good and react accordingly depending on the source.
 Since music is an expression of the heart, one has to be careful what he hears, as music easily transcends from soul to soul. An evil person transfers his negativity through his music.
The purpose of music
 
       King David was tested many, many times. He had a very difficult life. However, David persevered and was able to connect to G-d through music.Every time David went through an experience, whether good or bad, he wrote TEHILIM -Psalms. Here, David showed his love, appreciation and confidence in G-d. Tehilim screams out to G-d and proclaims that what ever happens, I believe in you. This is the reason why David was a favorite of G-d. When we read Tehilim, we connect with G-d just like David did.
       A person has many moods which are triggered by the occurrences in his life. David is no different. However, if one wants to reachRUACH HAKODESH- Divine spirituality, one has to be happy. Music makes a person happy.
        In Tractate Pesachim 117a, the Gemarah teaches us that when it says in Tehilim MIZMOR LEH DAVID, it means David had to first listen to music in order to get his spirits up and be happy. He then was able to reach Divine spirituality. When it says LEH DAVID MIZMOR,  it means that the Divine inspiration came to David first before he sang.
MUSIC IS A VEHICLE TO REACH SPIRITUALITY. MUSIC IS A WAY TO MAKE A PERSON HAPPY.
       This was the Levites task. Their job was to lift the spirits of the Kohanim doing their important work and lift the spirits of the people through singing. Then they can reach greater spirituality. We sing in Synagogue just like the Levites did to raise the level of happiness so our prayers will be accepted.
Does music calm the savage beast?
It only calms the beast when the composer of the music is a good person.

The Danger of Hope and its Desires

August 4, 2013 MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

 

   “YOU WILL EAT THE MANN WHICH YOU AND YOUR FATHERS NEVER TASTED” (Devarim8:3).  Many things have been revealed to Avraham, our forefather, about the future. “I will make you into a great nation”, G-d proclaimed. Indeed, from his genealogy sprouted out the chosen people, the Jews. Avraham was the first Jew and G-d mapped out the blueprint for the future generations. However, there is one bit of information that was not revealed to our great forefather, Avraham. If Avraham googled MANN, the heavenly food, nothing would come up but a Jamaican calling his fellow. MANN was given to the Jews while they were in the desert. Whatever one desired, the MANN would taste like that food. Steak, spaghetti, pastrami on rye and even osh palow, the Jews would enjoy through tasting the MANN. So, if it was so special, why wasn’t it revealed to Avraham?

Rav Henoch Leibowitz z’l answers, if it was revealed to Avraham, then, when G-d would offer it to the Israelites in the desert years later, the Jews would have replied “Nah, we ate this already in Egypt and rejected it. We shared this MANN with the Egyptians”. Just like the Jews were mistaken, where their recollection of events were not very accurate, when they complained to Moshe “you brought us here to the desert to die with no food. We ate fish in Egypt and it was so good..bla bla bla.” They never ate fish in Egypt. The Egyptians didn’t give them straw for work, why would they give them fish?” Rashi, the mainstream commentary in the Torah, was in wonderment; he couldn’t believe the audacity of their complaint. If G-d would have revealed to Avraham about the MANN, then years later, the Jews in the desert would have been familiar with the concept and passed it over as nothing special, “We ate it already in Egypt”. Why would they say they ate MANN in Egypt when they didn’t?  Were they lying because they didn’t want to accept G-d’s kindness?

Apparently, they really thought they ate MANN in Egypt. How could they make such a mistake? They were considered one of the smartest generations in the history of the world. Rav Henoch teaches us a startling concept in human nature. If the Israelites, who were still in Egypt, would have heard that they would be eating MANN in the future, in the desert, they would have experienced such pleasure from imagining and dreaming of what it would be like, because the nature of man is to have pleasure now for something he knows he will get later. Therefore since they were getting the MANN – imaginary pleasure – through their longing desires and hope, there was that mistaken strong possibility after many years that they would believe they actually really did eat it in Egypt.

We learn that when the mind projects strong hope, many years later, the memory of hope which one projected might translate as something that actually happened. How scary is that? This is the reason the MANN wasn’t disclosed to Avraham because his descendants would have rejected something really special.

The mind is a very tricky component and one has to differentiate between strong hope, desire, and accuracy of what actually happened.
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