Archive for Jewish Values

The Power of Music

August 4, 2013 G-d and Us, Music, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
       I am going to quote, out of all things, a Bugs Bunny episode. “How crude” you probably think, “this is some sophisticated publication with the cup of coffee picture and all that!!” Well, sorry to disappoint you….so bring out the loony tunes!!
       For many years I thought Bugs Bunny contained some MUSSAR HASKEL -great wisdom, however, I was misled. Although there is some truth to it, by no means is it foolproof. As a matter of fact, what I am going to reveal here in this newsletter is quite the opposite of what the popular belief is.
       Our hero, Bugs Bunny, is being chased by a ferocious gorilla. But the smart bunny gets his way, as usual, and out wits the gorilla by calming him down playing soothing music in front of him. He even, by the end of the episode, enlists the big great ape to work for him. This is all done by playing the soothing music. The moral of the story: “music calms the savage beast” Well, sorry, but not exactly.
       Over the years there were a great many debate in Israel (aren’t there always great debates in Israel!) about whether the music of the classical composer Richard Wagner should be played or not. Wagner was a well known anti-Semite. His music and philosophy fueled and motivated Hitler, the German dictator, who attempted to annihilate the Jewish nation.
       On May 10 2013, a disturbing article was published in the New York Times. The article pertains to Wagner as the Wagner followers are commemorating 200 year anniversary of his death. Here are excerpts of the article:
       “This year the news magazine, Der Spiegel, featured a picture on its front cover of the composer [Wagner] holding a fire-breathing dragon on his lap with the words “200 Years of Richard Wagner: The Mad Genius”. For many, Wagner has come to symbolize the seeds of anti-Semitic sentiment in German culture that would grow into the Nazi terror.”

 

       “A cascade of boos during Saturday’s opening night performance turned into a flood of complaints about scenes of shootings and gassing.
It is not uncommon for stage productions in Germany to incorporate totalitarian themes, as the country continues to examine its troubled 20th-century past. According to news media reports, the opera showed the title character dressed as a concentration camp guard shooting Jewish prisoners. The opera’s statement said that distraught audience members even sought medical attention after watching the depictions of executions” the article continued.

 

       “The director, Burkhard C. Kosminski, declined to make changes to soften the impact of the violence. He told the newspaper Westdeutsche Zeitung that he had been completely transparent with the opera house about his intent for the production and that he was not a “scandal director.”‘

       Some very interesting lessons can be derived from the actual article quoted by the New York Times, published in Der Spiegel, which was written by Dirk Kurbjuweit. Here is a translation of an excerpt:

 

       “The composer still casts a dark shadow today. Music and the Holocaust come together in that shadow: one of the most beautiful things created by man, and one of the worst things human beings have done. Wagner, the mad genius, was more than a composer. He also influenced Adolf Hitler and the Third Reich, even though he was already dead when the 12-year-old Hitler heard his music live for the first time when he attended a production of “Lohengrin” in the Austrian city of Linz in 1901. Describing the experience, during which he stood in a standing-room only section of the theater, Hitler wrote: “I was captivated immediately”.
       Many feel the same way as well. They listen to Wagner and are captivated, overwhelmed, smitten and delighted. Wagner’s hateful essay “Judaism in Music” offered Hitler an idea of how far one could go with anti-Semitism. The composer invoked the downfall of the Jews. To quote Nazi propaganda minister, Joseph Goebbels, “Richard Wagner taught us what the Jew is.”

 

       Our Sages teach us to never underestimate the power of music.
Is it possible that Wagner’s anti- Semitic feeling penetrated the souls of the Third Reich through his music?
If that’s true, then music doesn’t really calm the savage beast
       Let us examine the one person who embodied the concept of music and wrote the masterpiece work, Tehilim -Psalms, which is the root of many songs, King David.
Why is Tehilim so important?
Why do we read Tehilim in times of trouble or when people are sick?
Why do some psalms start with LEDAVID MIZMORE -for David a song, while others start off with MIZMORE LEDAVID – a song for David?
       There are four ways one can connect to G-d. One way is through “thought”. Meditation, which if one does intensely through thought, is a prime means of reaching a high level of spirituality. By the way, concentrating on breathing is a big part of meditation. “G-d blew into mans nostrils” ( Bereshit 2:8). One can achieve superior feeling with breathing exercises.
       Another way to connect to G-d is through speech. Speech is a very powerful tool that each man possesses. The optimal way of prayer is through using words. By constructing the 22 Hebrew letters forming words and pronouncing them properly and correctly, one then is able to pave a direct link  to the Heavens. The Sages have cleverly constructed the prayers in the most optimal way. It is vital that one say every word clearly, thereby preserving the formula, structure and sequence.
       The third way is through raising your voice, which is screaming or sighing. We know that G-d heard the screams of the Jews in Egypt and after 210 years, opened the door to freedom for them. Because of their suffering, they were not able to express themselves verbally, merely sighing and crying. This was deliberately orchestrated by the enemy, working them to an exhaustive level until the point that words couldn’t come out, because they knew the power of the Jew is in his speech. Words have power. However, through an emotional sigh one can communicate with G-d as well.
The last is through music.
       In this week Parsha we discuss the Levites and their task in the Temple. One of their tasks was to sing. The sages ask, was the commandment to sing verbally or perhaps they hummed a tune? ( playing an instrument would fall in that category) Arguments can be made for both approaches.
       Speech is a gift and when the words are mixed with music, it becomes a potent weapon. As a mater of fact, this is why we sing in Synagogue.  The Chazzan is there to lead the congregation and entice them to sing along. SHIR is song and the root of SHIR is YASHAR -straight. In other words, if one sings his prayers properly, they will go straight to Heaven. The words give the prayers direction.
        However, some argue that a NIGUN -tune without word, is a higher level. Words constrict and limit the concept. It doesn’t fully express what’s in the heart. A NIGUN’s -tune’s capability is unlimited; only the sky is the limit.
        At some of the  Chassidim’s  happy occasions, one leads the crowd in a tune with no words. It’s an uplifting and amazing experience. A NIGGUN  is special in that every person in this universe is different. There are no words for our mixed emotions, and so when we sing a song together, our individual experiences get expressed in a unified way. We understand that the song connects us even when our individual stories may be somewhat different. Music transcends language. Perhaps that is why mothers sing to their babies and babies respond and connect positively to their mothers.
       Music uplifts the soul. The Mystics say that the reason music is so heavenly is because it actually does come from Heaven. It comes from the highest level of heaven “seventh heaven”. There, the Angels sing to G-d and one has to be privileged to be invited to the concert.
       Music can either come from a holy source or from evil. It trickles down to us and we feel good and react accordingly depending on the source.
 Since music is an expression of the heart, one has to be careful what he hears, as music easily transcends from soul to soul. An evil person transfers his negativity through his music.
The purpose of music
 
       King David was tested many, many times. He had a very difficult life. However, David persevered and was able to connect to G-d through music.Every time David went through an experience, whether good or bad, he wrote TEHILIM -Psalms. Here, David showed his love, appreciation and confidence in G-d. Tehilim screams out to G-d and proclaims that what ever happens, I believe in you. This is the reason why David was a favorite of G-d. When we read Tehilim, we connect with G-d just like David did.
       A person has many moods which are triggered by the occurrences in his life. David is no different. However, if one wants to reachRUACH HAKODESH- Divine spirituality, one has to be happy. Music makes a person happy.
        In Tractate Pesachim 117a, the Gemarah teaches us that when it says in Tehilim MIZMOR LEH DAVID, it means David had to first listen to music in order to get his spirits up and be happy. He then was able to reach Divine spirituality. When it says LEH DAVID MIZMOR,  it means that the Divine inspiration came to David first before he sang.
MUSIC IS A VEHICLE TO REACH SPIRITUALITY. MUSIC IS A WAY TO MAKE A PERSON HAPPY.
       This was the Levites task. Their job was to lift the spirits of the Kohanim doing their important work and lift the spirits of the people through singing. Then they can reach greater spirituality. We sing in Synagogue just like the Levites did to raise the level of happiness so our prayers will be accepted.
Does music calm the savage beast?
It only calms the beast when the composer of the music is a good person.

Around the Shabbat Table- Parshat Shelach

August 4, 2013 Kid's Section, Sensitivity To Others, Trust No comments

 by Rabbi Gedalia Fogel – Pre 1A – Yeshiva Ketana of Queens

  

Hi! This is Rebbe speaking:

In this week’s parsha, Parshas Shelach, Moshe Rabbeinu sent 12 spies to check out the land of Eretz Yisrael. They saw giants and came back to the Jewish nation with the following report. “We were like grasshoppers and they saw us like that too.” The Medrash asks, “How did they know what the giants thought of them? Maybe Hashem made them see the spies as angels? Moshe Rabbeinu had told the spies to be strong and not to be scared. There sin was that they did not trust in Hashem. They were only worried about what others thought of them.

Many of us, at times, are worried about what others think of us; sometimes to the extent that we refrain from doing the right thing. We must always remember that when we do the right thing Hashem is on our side.

One should not do things only to impress others. We learn this from Yaakov Avinu. Yaakov told his sons to go down to Mitzrayim and purchase wheat. But they still had wheat. Why did they have to go to buy more? There was a hunger and Yaakov did not want to show off what he had while others did not. Yaakov did not want the Goyim to be jealous of his food supply, so he did not show that he had any.

Another place that we learn this is in Parshat Devarim. It says that Hashem told the Jews to go “Tzafon” literally meaning “North”. But the Kli Yakar says in his commentary that the word “Tzafon” can also mean “Hidden”. One must hide their wealth. They should not flaunt their riches. A Jew must always be aware not to incite the Goyim. Eisav is still upset with Yaakov that he took away his blessing from Yitzchak their father. Eisav’s descendants get angered and jealous when they see the Jews flaunt their wealth.

The Gerrer Rebbe was walking by a beautiful, palatial house under construction. They were building new front steps. The Rebbe started giving the owner instructions on how the bricks should go, what color they should be, how wide, etc. To which the man answered, “These are my steps. I will do it the way I want.” The Rebbe responded jokingly, “You are making fancy steps for those that pass your house. So in essence you are building them to impress me. Therefore I would like to tell you just how I like it so that I will enjoy it each time I pass.”  The Rebbe was trying to teach a lesson. One should not do things just to impress others.

Yeravam Ben Nevat did Avodat Zorah, worshiped idols and he incited others to do Avodat Zorah. It is a grave sin to worship idols, but is much worse to encourage others to sin too. Hashem told Yeravam, “Do Teshuva and your terrible sin will be erased. Then you will merit walking with Me and David Hamelech in Gan Eden.” Yeravam then asked, “Who will walk first David Hamelech or me?” To which Hashem responded “David Hamelech”. Yeravam’s pride did not allow him to do Teshuva, for he knew that in the end David Hamelech would still walk ahead of him.

There are amazing stories about those that went out of their way to stay low key and not to show off to others.

Some have a custom to say a D’var Torah when they are the Baal Simcha. This particular week, both Raphael and Pinchas were making a wedding. It was Shabbat and they gave a Kiddush in Shul. Raphael stood up and said a nice D’var Torah. Pinchas did not say anything, although he had prepared a speech. Only at the meal did Pinchas say the speech he had prepared. His family asked him, “Why didn’t you say your D’var Torah at the Kiddush as is your custom? You prepared an outstanding commentary.” Pinchas answered, “Raphael spoke before me. His D’var Torah was nice. But I was afraid that my D’var Torah was better than his and if I speak after him, no one would be appreciate his D’var Torah.

Shlomo was an extremely wealthy man. He was marrying off his daughter. All anticipated a glamorous wedding. But Shlomo took a smaller hall. It was a beautiful wedding but not the biggest talk of the town. Shlomo did not want to show off his wealth, so he took the money that he saved by lowering the cost of his daughter’s wedding and quietly, without fanfare, paid for a wedding of an orphan that got married that same night.

 

Everyone gathered into the synagogue to hear the speeches of two Torah scholars. The first, Reb Yankel got up to speak. He took out his notes and delivered a beautiful, insightful speech. Then the second, Reb Naftali stepped up to the podium. He too took out a paper and delivered a remarkable speech. Mordechai had heard Reb Naftali speak many times before and he never had any papers in front of him. When Reb Naftali went to rest, Mordechai checked Reb Naftali’s jacket pocket. Sure enough the paper he took out was empty. Reb Naftali did not want others to comment on the fact that he could say a speech by heart, while Reb Yankel needed to look into his notes.

One should make an effort to do what’s right and not to care about what others think. We must not look to impress those around us.

What have we learned today?

 

What was the sin of the spies?

They did not trust in Hashem. They were worried and scared about what the giants thought of them.

 

What lesson can we learn? 

One should make sure to do what’s right and trust that Hashem will be on his side. One need not go out of his way to impress others. One should not flaunt his wealth and his capabilities.

 

The Danger of Hope and its Desires

August 4, 2013 MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

 

   “YOU WILL EAT THE MANN WHICH YOU AND YOUR FATHERS NEVER TASTED” (Devarim8:3).  Many things have been revealed to Avraham, our forefather, about the future. “I will make you into a great nation”, G-d proclaimed. Indeed, from his genealogy sprouted out the chosen people, the Jews. Avraham was the first Jew and G-d mapped out the blueprint for the future generations. However, there is one bit of information that was not revealed to our great forefather, Avraham. If Avraham googled MANN, the heavenly food, nothing would come up but a Jamaican calling his fellow. MANN was given to the Jews while they were in the desert. Whatever one desired, the MANN would taste like that food. Steak, spaghetti, pastrami on rye and even osh palow, the Jews would enjoy through tasting the MANN. So, if it was so special, why wasn’t it revealed to Avraham?

Rav Henoch Leibowitz z’l answers, if it was revealed to Avraham, then, when G-d would offer it to the Israelites in the desert years later, the Jews would have replied “Nah, we ate this already in Egypt and rejected it. We shared this MANN with the Egyptians”. Just like the Jews were mistaken, where their recollection of events were not very accurate, when they complained to Moshe “you brought us here to the desert to die with no food. We ate fish in Egypt and it was so good..bla bla bla.” They never ate fish in Egypt. The Egyptians didn’t give them straw for work, why would they give them fish?” Rashi, the mainstream commentary in the Torah, was in wonderment; he couldn’t believe the audacity of their complaint. If G-d would have revealed to Avraham about the MANN, then years later, the Jews in the desert would have been familiar with the concept and passed it over as nothing special, “We ate it already in Egypt”. Why would they say they ate MANN in Egypt when they didn’t?  Were they lying because they didn’t want to accept G-d’s kindness?

Apparently, they really thought they ate MANN in Egypt. How could they make such a mistake? They were considered one of the smartest generations in the history of the world. Rav Henoch teaches us a startling concept in human nature. If the Israelites, who were still in Egypt, would have heard that they would be eating MANN in the future, in the desert, they would have experienced such pleasure from imagining and dreaming of what it would be like, because the nature of man is to have pleasure now for something he knows he will get later. Therefore since they were getting the MANN – imaginary pleasure – through their longing desires and hope, there was that mistaken strong possibility after many years that they would believe they actually really did eat it in Egypt.

We learn that when the mind projects strong hope, many years later, the memory of hope which one projected might translate as something that actually happened. How scary is that? This is the reason the MANN wasn’t disclosed to Avraham because his descendants would have rejected something really special.

The mind is a very tricky component and one has to differentiate between strong hope, desire, and accuracy of what actually happened.

I can’t go. There’s a Giant “You Know What” in my Car

August 2, 2013 Responsibility No comments

 

 

           The way the lazy mind works is that it finds all kind of excuses not to do what’s supposed to be done. The prime example is minyan in the morning. It’s too cold; it’s too hot; the air conditioner is probably not working; someone is probably sitting in my seat in shul anyway, etc. This test is especially strong this time of year which is Elul-zman, the month of Elul which is a month before Rosh Hashanah. For Sephardic background Jews, it’s especially tough because we have to get up extra early for slichot. When I saw this joke, I realized we’re really not that far from making an excuse as ludicrous as this one.
On the morning of Rosh Hashanah, Rivka [Rebecca] went into the bedroom to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready to go to the synagogue [Shul], to which he replied in a dull voice, “I’m not going.”
“Why not?” Rivka demanded. “I’ll give you two good reasons, Mother.” he said. “One, they don’t like me, and two, I don’t like them.”  Rivka replied in an exasperated voice, “I’ll give you two good reasons why you must go to the synagogue. One, you’re 54 years old, and two, you’re the Rabbi.”
What tends to happen is we believe what we want to believe. “The gorilla in the bathroom is preventing me to wash up and brush my teeth.” We have to dig deep and ask ourselves what’s our true motive. Maybe then, we can come to the realization of the truth and finally get up from our comfortable bed and pillow to start our day.

Making People Laugh is Better Than a Million Dollars

August 2, 2013 Happiness, Power of Laughter No comments

The Chozer of Lublin was one of the greatest of his generation. In fact, many people went to him for Brachot (blessings). They came to him for refuah shelemah (health), to find the right soul mate, better their financial situation and for many other reasons. It seemed he was a sure bet. Whatever the request for a blessing from G-d they asked from him, he would give a bracha and a short time latter it would be fulfilled.

         What was his method to success?
         Every night the Chozer of Lublin would recite the special midnight prayer to G-d and he would curl up, scream, yell and cry like a baby until he felt his prayers were accepted in heaven. Hey – whatever works, right?
         One night while he was waiting for his student, Rav Naftali Rupshitz to come, he felt that his prayers to G-d were not being heard. He wondered.  His routine was the same as any other night and yet now, no one seemed to be listening. So he asked the heavens “what is going on up there”?  “If you want to understand the reason, just look at your student, Rav Naftali Rupshitz” was the heavenly response. Apparently on his way to his Rebbi that night, he stopped at an inn and he noticed there was a wedding celebration. As he walks in to a room of dancing he noticed that the Kallah (bride) was sad. So he approached her and asked: “Why are you sad? This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life”!  She replied “our batchan canceled on us and we have no one to tell jokes.” A batchan -comedian was often used at the time and even today at the weddings of Chassidim to make the bring joy to the new couple.
       Rav Naftali looked at her and replied “I’ll be your batchan.”  He then stood on a table and started telling joke after joke until he got the entire inn’s attention. He had the whole place on their knees as result from his funny jokes. Rav Naftali noticed from the corner of his eye that the Chatan and Kallah were really enjoying his routine. He was indeed hilarious. It seemed like the young couple and the people at the inn were not the only ones to take notice, the angels in heaven also stopped what they were doing to hear Rav Naftali. It was such an impressive and funny performance that even G-d stopped to listen. All the angels closed up shop to hear this Jewish Rabbi make the world laugh. This is the reason your prayers were not heard, everybody was out for the evening enjoying Rav Naftali at the wedding party.
         When Rav Naftali finally arrived at his Rebbe’s house, the Chozer of Lublin said to him “what I do with screaming, wailing and yelling you accomplish with laughter!”
         We mentioned in the preceding Dvar Torah on the Parshat Korach, how comedy is can be very dangerous. In fact, it is a two edged sword. As such, it is only fitting that we also see the benefits as well. How important it is to make people laugh in a positive sense and to cheer them up when they are down and depressed. Moreover, it’s a big mitzvah (commandment) to make a bride and groom happy. The rewards are tremendous. We realize from this story, it is indeed priceless!!

Your Actions May Come Back to Haunt You

August 1, 2013 Responsibility No comments
   

           Don’t we all hate when we hear “I told you so.” It seems like before we take action, we have to think twice, for the same stick we kick tends to boomerang back and hit us in the head.

 

There is a very interesting and famous story that happened to one of the greatest kings of Israel, Shaul. The Gemara describes Shaul as a tragic figure. This was a person who didn’t want the kingdom because of his modesty. One may question his decisions during his reign; however, who are we to judge? We have to ask ourselves would anybody else have been able to handle the events and the curve balls differently.

We read in this week’s Parsha, one must exile the Ca’anites, the inhabitants of the land of Israel because they would make bad neighbors. This message is repeated constantly in the previous parshiot. The Canaanim were steeped in many heathen practices in which the Jews were commanded to destroy and to stay away. One of their practices involved Necromancy – bringing up a dead person through evil powers, whose voice seems to emulate from the necromancer’s armpits or other parts of the body. Although authentic, however, it was done through the negative forces.
King Shaul removed all Ov and Yidoni – magicians – from the land, since the Torah forbids one to consult them. In the third year of his reign, a very large army of Pelishtim gathered against the Jews. Shaul was very unsure how to proceed. Had his teacher, the Prophet, Shmuel, been alive, he would have almost certainly seeked his advice. Unable to consult the Kohanim who would have used the urim vatumim (the letters of the high priest’s breastplate that conveyed divine answers), Shaul was ashamed of having exterminated Nov, a city of Kohanim, who sheltered his nemesis, David and his army. Therefore he had to resort to other measures. “Do you know whether any medium remains in the land who can conjure up the dead with the rite of Ov?” he asked. Apparently, Shaul was desperate. He resembled a king who ordered all cocks and hens in his kingdom slaughtered and later demands, “Is there a rooster to wake me up in the morning?” Nevertheless, they revealed that such a woman exists in a place called Ain Dor. In disguise, Shaul went to her and asked her to conjure up a spirit for him; she refused. She was afraid such a deed might be reported to the king. However, Shaul assured her everything will be okay and persuaded her to do as he says. “Bring me Shmuel, the master of the prophets.” The woman practiced the usual rights. She burned incense and pronounced certain incantations and WALLA – Shmuel the Prophet appeared! However, something unusual about the apparition caused her to scream. A spirit that was raised by an Ov – sorcerer with the power of evil – would appear upside down, since the nature of its return contradicts the way of G-d’s holy creation. For a king, though, the dead would appear standing on his feet. Therefore, Shmuel appeared in his proper position in honor of Shaul. She then realized who her client was. Shaul was unable to see the apparition, although he heard its voice, it was visible to the Ov – sorcerer – alone.
Shmuel now spoke to Shaul and revealed the future to him. Although he seemed agitated as to why he roused him, where Shaul apologized. Shmuel prophesized “G-d has departed from you. The time will come when He is fulfilling his word to tear down the kingdom from you and to give it to David. He is punishing you for disobeying His commandment to eradicate Amalek.” Shmuel continues, “G-d will deliver the Jewish army into the hands of the Pelishtim and you and your sons will die. However, you’re going into battle despite the knowledge you will fall, will atone for you having destroyed Nov. You will enter a compartment of Gan Eden.”
Seized with fear of this revelation. Shaul regained his composure a bit later and told no one of the prophecy. It takes courage to go to war knowing, very well, that one will soon die.
Shmuel’s Prophecy was fulfilled; the Jews were defeated and Shaul and his three sons perished in battle.

Are You a Good Host?

August 1, 2013 Hachnasat Orchim- Inviting Guests, Jewish Values No comments

 

   

 

A ritual is performed by the unlucky elders of the city, after an unidentified dead body was found on their side of the border. They measure which city is the body closest too.  They then, kill a calf; this is followed by as many as a hundred members from the city who witnessed the ritual wash their hands and proclaim, “Our hands have not shed this blood and our eyes have not seen the deed.”

 

But why are the townspeople to blame?

 

One of the mainstream commentaries, Rashi, says that perhaps the host where he stayed did not give him food to eat or was not MELAVEH – escort him – outside. Although one can argue the host was stingy, not giving him food to eat, or lazy to give kavod by escorting, nevertheless, the townspeople can argue, “We didn’t kill him. Why are we responsible?” Rabbi Baruch Dopelt says we really can answer it through just plain old logic and say, well, if he would have been fed properly, perhaps he would have had the energy to fight off his attacker; food can have a wondrous effect. That solves the food issue, however, what about the MELAVEH – escorting someone. What benefit is there, or what would the deceased have gained by the host walking him four steps?

 

One should also take note, funeral in Hebrew is LEVAYA, which is the same root as MELAVEH. We are escorting the dead to his last resting place. At the funeral, there are many important rituals. Why is LEVAYA the title that is used for the funeral and not HESPED – eulogy? We know it’s quite important to say nice words about the dead.

 

We observe something interesting from our mother Leah, who was not Yaacov’s favorite wife. She always prayed that her husband should find favor with her. When Levi was born she said, “Now my husband will escort me (ve’liva). The word LIVA means to connect, attachment. She was saying we will walk and we’ll connect. When someone walks together, each person is connected to the other and each inherit the other’s KOACH – strength. Apparently, it’s a big mitzvah to host. The owner does kindness, and when he walks the guest out four steps, the guest inherits that positive energy of the host’s merit of kindness. So the host feels good; he feels self-confident. The guest is going to leave and be protected with your strength.

 

This concept also works the other way. Pharaoh was very clever; when the Jews left Egypt, the scripture says he escorted them. Pharaoh had negative powers. He intentionally wanted to attach to the Jews to his evil, so later they will be prone to sin.

At a funeral, the reason why many people escort the dead is they want to attach as much merits to the dead, so the deceased could go up and be judged in favor.

 

If a guest leaves your house and you escort him, your merits will be attached to him and it will give him strength. He will be protected from any dangers that lies ahead. This is the host’s last act of kindness, the finishing touch that he can do to his guest.

 

Privacy Between Friends

July 31, 2013 Jewish Values, Trust No comments
In any Jewish community there are individuals who are blessed with great mazal and make a lot of money.
 For the most part, we Jews look after our fellow Jews. The rich look after the poor. In many communities there is even a system of distribution and it’s done discreetly.
  Once an individual needed $5000. He asked the Rabbi if he can help him obtain the loan. Understandably, he asked the rabbi not to disclose his name.
 The Rabbi came to a wealthy man, presented his case and asked the wealthy man if he could possibly help out this struggling Jew.
 The wealthy man said, “I will give you $3000, however, in order for me to give the money, Rabbi, you have to disclose his name”.
 “I’m sorry sir but that is confidential” replied the Rabbi. “Then I cannot give you the money” the wealthy man said. The Rabbi got up to leave. As the Rabbi was exiting, the rich man said once more, “Rabbi I’ll give you the whole $5000, but you have to disclose the name. The Rabbi again refused and again turned to leave. “I’ll give you more than he asked for, I’ll give you $10,000!! just tell me this poor man’s identity”.
The Rabbi unequivocally said “I’m sorry, I simply cannot and will not disclose his name”.
 “Wait Rabbi”, the wealthy man called to the Rabbi as he had already crossed the threshold on the way out. “I have to discuss another important and highly sensitive matter with you, and I’m only sharing this with you because it seems like you can keep a secret”. The Rabbi took off his coat and sat down once again. “Rabbi”, the wealthy man said, ” I’m on the verge of bankruptcy and I need you to raise money for me as well”, and with that he broke down crying.
One cannot, under any circumstances violate what someone tells you in confidence. This is an invasion of privacy.
Story told over by Rabbi Baruch Dopelt

Invasion and the benefits of Privacy

July 30, 2013 Jewish Values, Tzniut- Modesty No comments
Article found on the internet

 

 
So then…I answer the phone and a voice says, “Do you have a trampoline in your backyard?”
Actually, I do. But now that someone’s asking, I’m suddenly, inexplicably nervous about admitting it. “Who is this?” I ask. “This is Jean at Harry’s office. You asked us to re-quote your car and home insurance.” “Oh, right, right.” I recall now that I asked our insurance broker to check for lower premiums. “It’s still out to bid,” she says. “But one of the insurance companies asked me if that’s a trampoline in your backyard.” “Um, why are they asking?” I ask suspiciously. “Some insurance companies charge higher premiums for that – and some won’t even write policies for homes with trampolines because they’re so dangerous,” she explains. Suddenly I feel guilty that I’ve allowed my kids to gleefully jump, flip, roll, and twirl on that trampoline for years. It has a huge netting enclosure so I think it’s pretty safe – and so far, no injuries. Plus they’ve enjoyed lots of bouncing, laughing, exercise-filled fun in the great outdoors, so that assuages my guilt a bit. But the mildly accusatory tone of the question makes me uneasy about admitting it, especially now that I’ve learned it may affect my premiums. I ask a bit defensively, “Why do they suspect I have a trampoline anyway?” She says, “Oh, they Google-mapped your house. On the computer, they looked at an aerial view of your backyard, front yard, the house, driveway, everything.” “What? Are you kidding me? They’re looking at aerial photos of my home? That’s an invasion of privacy!” I object. “Oh, all the insurance companies do that now. Aerial photos make it easy for them to spot any trouble before they write policies. They typically do a drive-by in person too, but the aerial photos save a lot of time to eliminate bad prospects right away.” I’m outraged! This is sounding very Big Brother-y to me. Now I have to worry about what we happen to be doing outside when the satellite cameras pass overhead? What’s next? Will the insurance companies ask me: Hey, are those your kids playing with matches on the front steps? Fire Insurance: denied. Are you chasing a bee swarm with a blowtorch? Insurance denied. Is that you relaxing by the pool? Insurance denied. Are those beer bottles strewn around your backyard while you and your friends try to build a tree house in a palm tree? Insurance denied. Why is there a motorcycle in the pool? Insurance denied. I’m not saying these things happened – but if they did happen, that’s MY business! I’m just totally freaked out by the idea that someone can be sitting miles away in a little office watching what’s going on in my backyard on their computer screen. And how can they not be super judgy? Are they sitting there saying things like: Is that your third glass of wine? That honeysuckle bush needs watering. And what if they perfect thermal imaging so insurance companies can see what we’re doing INSIDE the house? Is that you sneaking Ben & Jerry’s ice cream at midnight when we specifically heard on our listening device that you swore to your family there was no ice cream left? Insurance denied. “So,” Jean says, bringing me back to the present. “DO you have a trampoline?” “That’s what they think, huh?” I hedge. “Yeah, they said they saw a big dark circle on the aerial photo of the backyard, so they figured it was a trampoline,” she says. “Maybe it’s a moon crater.” “Huh?” she says. “Or like a really big black round blanket I’m knitting for an orphanage.” “Yeah, OK, it’s a trampoline, so what. And yes, I will get rid of the trampoline. If that will make them happy! It won’t make my kids happy, I’ll tell you that. And I’m totally blaming it on the insurance company!” So I break the news to the kids, but they’re not too upset since they’ve had several good years on the trampoline and have started to outgrow it anyway. I then explain to them in elaborate detail how insurance companies can basically see anything that’s happening in our yard and driveway and possibly home – and that they will report back to me any suspicious behavior perpetrated by my children. They don’t believe me. Rubes. Meanwhile I consider thwarting the thermal imaging sensors by wearing a tinfoil suit whenever I dip into my secret stash of Ben & Jerry’s.
When a parent passes away, there is a tremendous pressure on the siblings as they try to make the necessary burial arrangements. There are many details and it’s difficult to focus on simple tasks.  There is emotional confusion as the heart does not except or comprehend  the tragic occurrence that just transpired. It’s not for naught that the Jewish Law is such that one is exempt from prayer until the deceased is buried. It’s impossible to concentrate. One seems to be living in a cloud.
 I had the entire Shabbat to think of what to say at the funeral which would be held right after Shabbat. Then plan was that afterward the family would all travel to Israel for the burial. I remember that, as I was in a helpless and confused state, the only quality I can think of in my father was that he always knocked on my door to my room and waited for me to say come in. He respected my privacy and I always appreciated that. Although many said I spoke well, I was surprised that I chose to speak about privacy.
 For many years I always wondered to why that particular attribute of my father stood out in such a situation?  After all, I had tremendous respect for him and he had so many qualities that stood out. In fact, it was my parents’ Shabbat table that has enhanced my love for life. Why the respect for my privacy was what I thought about at that moment?
Dr. Robert Goldman, Psychologist of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, suggests that there is a broader concept that’s actually in the forefront, that being Tzniut-modesty. “The concept of modest doesn’t exist at a infant or toddler stage” he says. Rather, only later does a child begin to understand that showing modesty and privacy is an essential part in his/her development of personal dignity. There are those who embarrass their children in public. This is a major violation. Children are people too and need to strengthen their personal dignity at a young age.
  There was a grade school Rebbi who would always knock on the classroom door before entering. Once, his students asked him “why do you knock before entering?” Many teachers make it their business to barge in and surprise the students, catching them in an uncompromising act. The Rebbi believed that it’s important to develop trust and that’s how, by the way, one develops a sense of self value.
    
We read in this week’s haftora ..VEH HATZNAI LECHET-walk humbly with your G-d. This walk should be in private, meaning, one develops a relationship with G-d privately. This is the reason why we read the first part of the AMIDA, a very important prayer, quietly . It’s the main form of developing a relationship with G-d. Sometimes, one can display his love for G-d in public. But, for the most part, man needs the intimate relationship with his Creator.
  Astonishingly, we recite in our prayers MAH TOVU OHALECHA YAACOV MISHKANOTECHA YISRAEL. Does anybody know who uttered the phrase?  It’s found in this week’s parsha. The wicked Bilam, out of all people, an evil  man who reached the ultimate lowest level man can reach,  uttered this very high praise when he saw the Israelite camp from above on the mountain. Thinking to himself, he was impressed that all the entrances  of their tents were systematically pitched in the opposite direction of their neighbor’s entrances so that privacy can be preserved. Even though Bilam’s words of praise were forced out of his mouth by G-d, as he intended to curse the Jews, nevertheless, this impressive praise of modesty is a staple of our character. Modesty is a vehicle in which we can ride to the Gates of Heaven.
One of the more important lessons of “MAH TOVU OHALECHA YAAKOV ”  can be applied to the privacy of a married couple. It’s inevitable that couples will fight, however, for the most part, they will also usually make up. However, when the in-laws, neighbors or friends barge in unannounced during one of those heated moments, they can fan the fire and cause irreparable damage.
   Jewish law has great respect for privacy. If you want to build a home overlooking another home, you cannot do it in such a way that you would be able to see into your neighbor’s courtyard from your window. It would be an invasion of privacy. Gossiping about others or making judgments about their behavior is also prohibited because it means you are looking into an aspect of their existence that is not open to your scrutiny. It’s private, between them and G-d, and if you judge them, you’re trespassing.
  Ever wonder why we received the Torah in the desert. The desert is a secluded place, it’s nice and private. G-d bonded with us there by giving us the Torah and we accepted it. Similar to a couple who gets married; the bride accepts the ketubah. The Jews needed some “chill time” alone with G-d. The honeymoon lasted 40 years. A couple needs their chill time, their intimacy, their privacy. We learn an important lesson from our accepting of the Torah. It’s vital for the couple to have their time alone in order for the marriage to sustain itself.
 When a parent passes away, there is a sense of abandonment; “they left too soon” is the consensus of many children, even though they lived to a ripe old age. Many feel that the value of life is diminished by their passing. These are the people who instilled within us a sense of worth. A parents’ job is to teach children the lessons of life. However, now that these teachers of humanity, of Torah values, have abruptly left us, our personal dignity, at least momentarily, is diminished as well. Therefore, on a subconscious level, one can feel a loss of this personal dignity, self worth and self value.
 We stayed at my parent house that Shabbat before the funeral and before traveling to Israel for the burial.  We actually slept in my old room. I couldn’t help imagining hearing the knock on the door of my room and envisioning my father anticipating to come in.  He built in me human dignity by preserving my privacy. The words from the heart, from the subconscious, came out at the eulogy that I gave as a result.

Around the Shabbat Table- Parshat Ki Tavo

July 30, 2013 G-d and Us, Hakarat Hatov, Kid's Section No comments
        By Rabbi Gedalia Fogel 

 

Hi! This is Rebbe speaking:

 

   Back to school? Now you’ll surely be able to answer all the questions. You’re already in the thinking mode!

   This week’s parsha, Parshat Ki Tavo, speaks about one who will own a field in the land of Israel. When his fruit will be ripe, he will bring some of his fruit to the Kohen (priest) in the Beit Hamikdash (the Holy Temple) to give thanks to Hashem for providing him with such delicious produce.

We must thank Hashem for all that he does for us. We say blessings before we eat, so that we can properly show gratitude to Hashem for giving us sustenance. We pray each day and thank Hashem for all he has done and continues to do.

   We learn from here that we must show Hakorat Hatov, gratitude, to one that does us a favor. We see examples where one even thanks inanimate objects.

Moshe Rabbeinu was careful to thank the water for saving his life. When Moshe Rabbeinu was a baby, his mother put him in a basket in the river since Pharaoh commanded that all Jewish baby boys be killed. Moshe Rabbeinu had Hakorat Hatov to the water for this and did not hit the water when performing the first three Makot, plagues, on the Egyptians. He had his brother Aharon perform them, since it warranted hitting the water.

   Reb Moshe Feinstein was known to thank everyone that did even the slightest favor for him. Even when he was the passenger in a car, he made sure to lean over and call out to the man at the toll booth to thank him for his service.

   Reb Eliyahu Lopian was meticulous in this virtue. He stated that one must have Hakorat Hatov and thank someone even if you paid for their service. Such as: a grocer, bus driver, shoemaker etc. Even if you paid him money you must make sure to thank him properly.

   Reb Eliyahu Lopian was seen cleaning the bench in his Yeshiva. Many disciples ran over and offered to clean it for him. “No thank you. I want to clean this bench myself, since I owe the bench Hakorat Hatov. Each morning this bench helps me fold my Talit. It makes sure that my Talit does not drag on the floor while I am folding it.”

Two nations, Amon and Moav, are not allowed to convert to Judaism. Avraham Avinu saved the life of their grandfather, Lot and they did not show Hakorat Hatov. When the Jews were traveling through the desert on their way to Israel, Amon and Moav did not allow them to pass through their land. They should have given the Jews bread and water but instead they came out to fight against them. One that does not have the midah of Hakorat Hatov cannot be part of the Jewish nation.

Sometimes we don’t notice the good that we have until we are missing it. When one breaks his leg, it is only then that he realizes the greatness of being able to walk each day with ease.

Reb Avigdor Miller waited under water for an extra few seconds so that he can be grateful for every breath. We take these things for granted.

Miss Braun, a 6th grade teacher came in one day. “Girls today we will begin a special contest. I will hand out notebooks to each girl and I want you to write at least one thing each day that you are thankful for.”

Sara immediately started jotting down a list of four things that she was thankful for. Linda on the other hand was stumped. “What are you writing? I can’t think of a thing.” “There’s tons! I am thankful for having great friends. I am thankful for being able to see. I am thankful for walking and of course for the best teacher, Miss Braun. I could go on and on, but I’ll save some for other days.”

Now even Linda got the hang of it. The girls jotted down a few examples every day for months and slowly filled up their notebooks. The girls were surprised that up on till then they had not realized how much they had to appreciate.

At the end of the school year each girl had a treasured book, filled with Hakorat Hatov.

 

In the middle of 7th grade Linda came down with a dreadful disease that left her hospitalized. All those that came to visit her were surprised with her upbeat attitude. “I’ll let you in on a secret. Last year Miss Braun taught us to have Hakorat Hatov. She requested that we write down things that we are thankful for. Each morning, here in the hospital, I read through my notebook and see how many things I still have to be grateful for. It gives me strength and a good mind-set to conquer the day.”

Thank G-d, Linda overcame her illness and is married with a family today. She makes sure to cherish this notebook and is certain to publicize what she calls a miracle. “This is what kept me going!”

What have we learned today?

 

What is Hakorat Hatov?

A Jew must always be thankful to Hashem. He must be sure to thank anyone that does an act of kindness even if he paid him for his service.

 

What are some examples that we can thank Hashem for?

We can say thanks to Hashem throughout the day even when we are not praying. We can thank Hashem for giving us good friends. We must be grateful for our functional limbs, our feet that walk, our hands that move and write. We can thank Hashem that we can speak and hear and for the brain that allows us to think. We should be thankful for our wonderful parents who provide us with what we need.

Boys and girls, who can come up with a notebook-full of Hakorat Hatov? Try it. I’m sure you’ll fill it up in no time.

 

I’d like to take this opportunity to show my Hakorat Hatov to Rabbi Matmon for allowing me to share some thoughts and ideas with all my fantastic readers. I would also like to show gratitude to all my readers who have sent in words of encouragement and suggestions. I am looking forward to hearing more comments and suggestions.
« Older Entries   Recent Entries »