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This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Berril Wein, Yissachar Frand Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Yossi Bilus, and Dr. Abba Goldman

Boro Park 1963 and Alexanders on Queens Blvd where many of our mothers shoped

My parents immigrated, from Israel, to this great big country in 1960. They had hopes and dreams like many settlers who stepped on American soil. My father, whose dream of coming to the United States ever since he was a teenager, was so disappointed after the first three months of arriving, he wanted to go back. However, my mother firmly objected, stating “we are here and we’ll make the best of it”. Their sleeping arrangement was quite difficult back then; they used the living room drapes to cover themselves in the Boro Park apartment shared by relatives; my father slept on the floor while my mother slept on the couch. Money did not grow on the trees as it was thought and they struggled mightily in the early years.

There is a photo, which I recall, in my parents pictures archives, where they were sitting in the living room with our basement tenant, a single guy from Israel, a very recent immigrant, in our Rego Park home in the early 60’s. It seamed they were all excited, full of energy; they were hungry, eager, full of hope, to sink their teeth into the American workforce. My parents and their friends, who came around the same time, like many wanted to express to their loved ones, back home, that they made it!!; they were successful in the land of opportunity.

In this week’s parsha we learn a very valuable lesson about life. It becomes evident from the beginning that there is a clear difference between Yosef and his brothers. Yosef is the classic dreamer, his head in the stars and his youthful high spirits and certainty in the truthful outcome of his dreams becomes very irritating to his siblings. The brothers, on the other hand, have their feet firmly implanted on the ground, in the reality of the world in which they exist.

Yosef feels the brothers have been unjust for rejecting his dreams immediately and they in turn are convinced that he and his dreaming constitute a veritable danger to the unity and survival of Yaakov’s family.

By carefully analyzing the conflict between Yosef and his brothers, and for the most part, Yehuda, since he’s the leader, the underlying message is the difference of inspirational theory of Judaism and it’s sometimes day to day practice of practical reality – of what can be achieved even though it is not exactly what one dreamt of achieving. Although it presents itself as two separate entities, Yosef and his brothers, it is our utmost responsibility to combine both.

The Jewish people in its long and difficult history have somehow been able to fuse together the spirit and dreams of Yosef with the hardheaded realism of his brothers. Both traits are necessary for our survival and accomplishments, both as individuals and as a nation. Someone without dreams and ambition, who refuses to reach heavenward and conquer the stars, will never be a truly creative or original person. However, if this drive is not tempered by a realistic sense of the situation and the society that surrounds us, then all dreams are doomed to eventually disappoint.

Our celebration this week of the holiday of Chanukah is based on the kindness of G-d for performing the great miracles on his chosen people. However, it’s vital that we should not rely on miracles; one cannot sit back expect G-d to deliver; one has to put effort; it’s quite important that one has to use brains; he has to be clever to handle any situations that’s presented. If after all the efforts are exhausted then and only then may he turn to G-d.

The Macabees were a small band of untrained individuals, clearly the underdogs, with the dream of beating the most powerful nation in the world. They had the hope, the dream, the drive of Yosef combining the ingenuity and practicality of Yehuda and the brothers. The Macabees found a method where they were able to inflict a wound under the elephant, the Greeks most powerful and deadly weapon. There is a soft spot in the location of the elephant, where the Jewish warriors were able to inflict a devastating knife wound. Although, one of Matityahu’s (the Jewish leader) sons was killed in an attempt, the huge animal trampled him. The experience, although at a terrible price, had enabled them to refine the method of attack. The motivation and dream of regaining the holy Temple with the ingenuity of finding the right clever warfare approach led to the Jewish victory. It’s incredible!! The Macabees subdued the greatest empire in the world. This band of Kohanim organized an effective military.

A VISION OF YOSEF IS IMPLANTED

In the Shabbat morning Amida (Shemoneh Esrei) we read “YISMACH MOSHE BEH MATANAT CHELKO”, Moshe was happy. What exactly Moshe was happy about?

It says in tractate Baba Kama(10:2) that G-d was speaking to Moshe and said ” I have a present in my secret chamber and it is Shabbat, and I want to give it to the Jewish people. So please, Moshe, go and bring the good news to them”. It was for this reason that “Yismach Moshe”, that Moshe was ecstatic to be the one to deliver the news.

When the Jews were in Egypt, Moshe saw how torturously overworked they were, so he convinced Pharaoh to give them one day off to rest. He reasoned that ” if one wants to maximize the production of his workers, one has to give them a day of rest. That day was the seventh day, Shabbat. Therefore, Moshe was happy.

This day, Shabbat, which Pharaoh gave them to rest, was a very significant day for them in the spiritual growth and hope for the redemption. They would congregate and read from Megilot (scripts) about how G-d was going to redeem them; it was a very inspirational day. It gave them a vision for the future. However, when Pharaoh discovered what was being conducted on these Shabbat gatherings (not sure if Cholent was served!!) he discontinued them. After this disclosure, he made them work double on Shabbat with no straw to work with.

But it was too late; the seed was planted. The Jews in Egypt now saw beyond the bricks and straws. They saw the future, a bright one. This was due to the ability to hope. The Yosef in each Jew began to flourish.

YOSEF AND YEHUDA

This story of Yosef and his brothers, particularly the roles of Yosef and Yehuda, does not end with the narrative of the Torah here in Bereshit. In later Jewish history, after the death of King Shlomo, the Jewish nation is split into two sections – the kingdom of Israel (Yosef) and the kingdom of Yehuda (the house of David.) Thus the competition between the two leading sons of Yakov’s family, Yehuda and Yosef, survived centuries of attempted unity. And the eventual result of this split within the Jewish nation was disaster for both sections of that nation. Both sections of the nation were weakened.

The Rabbis of the Talmud divided the Messiah himself into two personages – Moshiach ben Yosef and Moshiach ben Dovid (a descendant of the tribe of Yehuda.) The former was to pave the way for the latter, but both were part of the envisioned messianic process. Apparently, Jewish redemption and fulfillment is dependent on both Yosef and Yehuda and is destined to realization only if both are full participants in the process.

Yosef remains a holy Jew, in spite of his being exposed to the decadence of the prevailing Egyptian culture. He is an integral part of the Egyptian court and world, but he really is only an outsider looking in and not really desirous of “belonging” to the culture that surrounds him. Yosef is the model for the Jew who is successful in the general world but doggedly determined to remain faithful to his own soul, tradition and destiny as a son of Yakov. Yehuda is much more cautious and conservative. He has seen the outside world, the general society and is frightened to become part of it. Yehuda has lost sons, has suffered tragedy and disappointment, has made errors and risen from sin, and is willing to sacrifice all to remain Jewish and save other Jews. Yehuda does not wish to be Yosef. He sees Yosef’s way as being too dangerous, too risky – certainly for the masses of Israel. Yosef, on the other hand, cannot see a future for Israel if it is completely isolated from the general society, of which it is a part, no matter what Israel’s preference in the matter may be.
Yosef takes the risks and is successful in maintaining his Jewishness and in raising holy children and grandchildren, in the midst of the squalor of Egyptian culture. But Yehuda is also successful in his way and Yosef and Yehuda therefore march in lock step throughout Jewish history. They remain competitors and sometimes they have harsh things to say to and about each other and their different paths. But in the end, they are both the pillars of Jewish survival and society. They complement each other even if many times they do not utter compliments about each other. They are partners in the messianic and redemptive historical process of Jewish history. They are both still here with us today in our own personal and national struggle to build a Torah nation and a good world. We should appreciate their presence and influence upon us.

That generation of builders, our parents, are now the great grandparents of today’s young. What were the results of their dreams?

If the achievements of the dreams and hope of Yosef were planted with the skillful practicality of Yehuda, there is a good chance that success was imminent. As Theodore Roosevelt said “I want men to fix their eyes on the stars, but they must not forget to feel the ground on which they walk”

After World War II, the future Rosh Yeshiva (headmaster) of the Ponevezh Yeshiva, one of the largest Yeshiva in the world today, Rabbi Yosef Kahaneman, was quoted as saying , as he stood on a hill where the future yeshiva stands overlooking Bnai Brak Israel, “I am going to build B’H a tremendous Yeshiva”. He was told “you must be dreaming”. He answered back “I’m dreaming, however I’m not sleeping”.” One has to work on his dreams in order to be successful!!!”

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

December 9, 2014 avimatmon Uncategorized No comments

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

this article was constructed from the insights of Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt, Rosh Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim, Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus

Each one of us had a favorite teacher who had a great deal of influence on us. Some actually had more than a few teachers over the years that fall under that “favorite” category. When we look back, with a certain fondness about them, a memorable smile breaks out.
However, one has to ask himself, has this person actually made a difference when a crucial decision came into play? Were they there, in our conscience, when the game was on the line? Was their teaching tested and we were able to take their words of wisdom to the finish line and declare “I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”?

YOSEF THE DREAMER

In this week’s parsha, we find Yosef telling over to his brothers the dreams he had. The Torah’s description of the dreams and the reaction of Yosef’s brothers are quite puzzling.
First and foremost, to say his brothers weren’t exactly thrilled about him and his dreams would be considered a huge understatement. They were contemplating killing him as a result.
But there is a substantial lesson that can be learned from this story that is applicable in our everyday life. Let’s examine the verses more carefully and get a deeper understanding.
The first dream that Yosef had involves sheaves. Yosef tells his brothers that their sheaves gathered around and bowed down to his sheaves.
The second dream was basically the same theme; Yosef revealed to them that the sun and the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.
The brothers were angry and responded to the first dream by saying “Do you want to rule over us?” while there was no response from them after the second one.
The Torah states that the brothers hated him after the first dream was revealed while the scripture says the brothers were jealous after the second one.
Why was the reaction to each dream any different from the other?
What’s the difference between the two dreams?
Referring to the second dream it says “His father took it to heart”.
Why did his father take the second dream more serious?
In the first sequence about sheaves or stalks as its focal point, the scripture is hinting to a materialistic dominance. Its message, for the future, is that the brothers will depend on Yosef for their sustenance.
When someone sees his friend that’s financially more stable then he, he often questions why this is so. “He’s not better than me. We’re the same in many ways. Perhaps that’s just plain old mazal.” However, human nature is for hatred to develop as a result
The brothers knew that dreams for the most part are a reflection of the sub-conscience. They concluded, “This is what he’s thinking of us. He wants to be our boss”.
The brothers, though, took the second dream a bit more serious. The scenario of the sun, moon and the stars is a spiritual concept. Here, they realized that it’s not a reflection of the sub-conscience but a spiritual revelation. Therefore they were jealous of Yosef’s motivational and spiritual abilities. There is a Talmudic concept of SHTIKA KEH HODA’A – silence is a form of admittance.
Yaakov, their father, although he did not admit it, was startled by the second dream. The reason is that only Yaakov knew that in the heavens they referred to him as the sun.

It seams like the Torah is hinting that Yosef possessed certain abilities, which perhaps came through personal teachings from his father, as a gift from the heavens, or a combination of both. Apparently, life is such that the narrative will soon reveal that this gifted person will soon be tested.

In order to fully understand the magnitude of Yosef’s test, we have to examine a very interesting part of our Jewish history.
Yeush was born in the midst of troublesome days in the land of Judea, in the year 3055 (after Creation). He became king at the age of six!! (3061). The Jewish nation was divided into two kingdoms. On the throne, which once belonged to King David and King Solomon, sat a ruthless and cruel queen. Her name was Athalya, the daughter of Queen Jezebel, the Phoenician princess whom the wicked King Ahab of the Northern Jewish Kingdom of the Ten Tribes had married. In an effort to bring the two Jewish kingdoms into friendlier relations, the two royal houses intermarried. The crown prince Joram, the son of King Jehoshaphat of Judea, married Athalyah the daughter of Ahab and Jezebel.
After many heavy, underhanded, dirty and deadly maneuvering, Athalyah took control of the Monarch. One of her decree’s to assure she will rule undisputedly was that she resolved that there should be no heir to the throne of Judea from the House of David. She ordered the death of all the members of the royal house of King David, and established herself as the supreme ruler of the land of Judea. She surrounded herself with friends from Phoenicia and ruled with an iron hand, spreading a reign of terror in the land.
Athalyah felt secure in her position, believing that the royal house of David was extinct. But she was wrong, for G-d had promised that the line of King David would never be broken. Ahaziah’s youngest son, whom Athalyah had believed had been murdered with the other male members of the royal family, had been saved from his bloodthirsty grandmother. He was still a baby, and his name was Yeush. He was saved by Jehosheba, a sister of King Ahaziah and the wife of the High Priest Yehoyada. Astonishingly, the one year old prince was hidden in the Bet Hamikdash, above a room by the “Kodash Hakadoshim” and brought up, secretly, by his pious and G-d fearing uncle and aunt.
For six years Athalyah ruled uncontrolled, dealing harshly with the believers in G-d. During all this time, Yehoyada, the wise and pious High Priest, nursed in his heart the secret hope for the future of his people that was centered around the last member of David’s dynasty. Yehoyada had many friends and followers, who, like himself, had remained faithful to the pure worship of G-d, and who longed for the day when the hateful Athalyah could be overthrown, and the House of David reinstated on the throne of the Holy Land.
When little Yeush was seven years old, Yehoyada decided that the time had come to liberate Judea from the unpopular foreign woman who had desecrated the throne of David.
The coup attempt was successful with no resistance whatsoever. Athalya was executed and Yeush became king. He reigned for forty years, and was one of the outstanding kings of Judea.
However, after Yehoyada died, Yeush fell under the influence of the wrong people and was led astray into a life of ease and luxury. He abandoned the pure worship of One G-d, and began to indulge in the service of the Baal. Yeush fell so low that shockingly he killed the great Prophet Zacharia, who happened to be the son of Yehoyada, the same person who saved his life, the one who had nurtured, taught and cared for him through the years!!
How can you bite the hand that feeds you?
How can Yeush fall so low after the death of his teacher?
We see a similar situation after the death of Shimi ben Gaira the teacher and mentor of the wisest man who ever lived, King Shlomo. Shlomo began to slip and make errors in judgment after his death.
We learn a valuable lesson about communication and teaching. There are basically two ways one can convey the valuable message:
LEHOROT- giving instructions
LILMOD- teaching until one stands on his/her own two feet
It’s not ideal to memorize the manual one has to understand the content.
Yosef was tested with one of the most difficult situations in the history of physical temptations. He was being seduced, unsuccessfully though, with the beautiful wife of his employer on a daily basis.
The boss’s wife, eshet Potifar, would up the ante at every occasion until it reached a boiling point where she forcefully tried to have relations with him. Yosef at the moment of truth envisioned his father, his teacher. This motivated, or I should say distracted, him from pursuing sinning with a married woman.

Yaakov successfully taught Yosef the valuable lesson of standing on his own feet. It’s not enough to be gifted. One has to use these skills properly. This is the spiritual greatness of Yosef.
There was a huge epidemic where many Jews were killed at the time of King David because he counted the people. For this reason we have a tradition to never count individual Jews. The Sages teach us that the reason there was death and suffering was because the Temple wasn’t built during David’s time.
Why is it the people’s fault? It was David that had blood on his hands and G-d wouldn’t allow him to build it. Why blame the people?
The Sages say, “Granted. David wasn’t worthy. However the people were. The nation of Israel delayed the building. They should have voiced their opinion ” Why don’t we have a temple?”.and “Let’s start a petition!!” ” They should have began some grass roots. One friend persuading another and perhaps one farmer from the Galil would be responsible in starting the building process.
Rav Henoch always would say “There is permission in one not using his brains”. It’s imperative that a Jew internalizes what he learns and who knows? Perhaps one may discover a way to bring the Mashiach quicker.
There was a college Professor who relayed a story that many years ago there was a psychological case study of inner-city ghetto schools where they would interview 200 students. The motive of the test was to predict, through mathematical analysis, the outcome of these students. As one can expect, many of the student came from broken, one-parent homes.
The result wasn’t very promising that these students would amount to anything.
Twenty years later, this Professor, who happened to be one of those students, was curious to know how these students turned out.
After an extensive research of tracking them down He was astonished to discover how off the mark the study was. 80% of the students were living a productive life.
The professor decided to probe deeper into how these students beat the odds. He interviewed each one and found a common denominator, which was one particular teacher that they all liked.
He was curious to meet this teacher, although twenty years latter he didn’t think she was still alive. Nevertheless after researching further he tracked her down at a particular nursing home. She was in her eighties. The professor went to visit the teacher. He asked her “What was your key to success?” She said “I tried to instill in them a sense of self. I had a motivating slogan “No matter what, you can do it”. These students and Yosef had this in common. They can honestly say that the influence their teachers had on them made a difference, especially when it counted. They can say with full assurance “”I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”

What does dignity have to do with me being a good tipper?

December 7, 2014 avimatmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Yochanan Zweig, Yossi Bilus, Chaim Shmuelevitz z’l, Yitzchak Aminov, Dr. Aba Goldman

Rabbi Yitzhak Aminov is, currently, a prominent Rabbi in a Jewish community in Israel. In the late 1960’s he began to travel to New York to fundraise for his Yeshiva. Considering the time constraints, fundraising requires one to frequently leapfrog from one appointment to another. Occasionally, one gets lucky and receives a ride from the donors themselves, yet at times one would need to travel by taxi to their next appointment.

Rabbi Aminov, a reserved and well mannered man was puzzled when he was frequently received with anger at the end of the rides by the cab driver. ” I don’t understand it; I would pay the required amount; I would always remain quiet and not ask the driver any questions of why he took this route as opposed to another. Perhaps I didn’t take the money fast enough out of my wallet? Can it be that New Yorkers flare up quicker then others over trivial things?

One day, it all made sense to me, I was sitting at the counter space at Diamond Dairy, a restaurant in the diamond district, when I noticed a friend, who was sitting by my side, leaving some money on the table where then the waitress quickly shuffled it in her patch by her waist side. I asked him why are you paying the waitress as well as the cashier? He answered back “that’s a tip”.

Now I realized why the taxi drivers were so upset, I left them with no tip”

When wealthy Americans brought home the practice of tipping from their European vacations in the late 19th century, their countrymen considered it bribery. State legislatures quickly banned the practice. But restaurateurs, giddy at the prospect of passing labor costs directly to customers, eventually convinced Americans to accept tipping. However, the concept of tipping was not accustomed in the Israeli society, apparently, till much later.

It’s funny but some societies tip before they get their food or for that matter before their even seated. Unfortunately, that is the only way they would receive any service. However that practice is more considered a bribe then a tip.

“…you shall not send him empty-handed; you shall adorn him with gifts…”(15:13,14)After six years of slavery, the Torah requires that the Jewish slave be set free. Additionally, he should not go out empty-handed. Rather, his master should furnish him with gifts of significant value. What is the rationale behind obligating a person to give a gift? Clearly, this is not his compensation, for the Torah requires that the slave be paid in full up front.

Why is it the accepted practice to tip for certain services, while for others it is not? For example, if a person checks in his luggage curbside, he leaves a tip with the porter. However, if he checks his luggage in at the counter, he does not tip the attendant. Similarly, one tips a barber, but not a cashier. The reason is as follows: When someone does a personal service for us, to a certain extent, he has been demeaned. It is for personal service, therefore, that we tip. The tip is the means by which we restore dignity to the person serving us; it shows our appreciation for what he has done for us. After all, the porter humiliated himself by picking up our heavy suitcases and shlepping them all over the place. The waiter removed our dirty plates after we ate so nicely.

Why is dignity so important?

We learn how important dignity is from G-d’s sensitivity to one of the most wicked individuals that ever lived, Bilam.

Balak, the king of Moav, sends a delegation to persuade Bilam to go and curse the Jews. Excited at the opportunity, Bilam, however, consults with G-d, Who tells him not to go. Bilam, though, makes it seem to the delegation that he wasn’t going because it’s beneath his dignity to go with such representation. He wants a more important and prominent delegation to pry him out of his comfortable settings. Bilam didn’t let anyone know that G-d disapproves of cursing the Jews. Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz says: “A carefull reading of the verse shows G-d gave two reasons disassociating himself with Balak’s emissaries .The first, astonishingly, was indeed to protect Bilam’s dignity, while only the second was… not to curse the Jews.

But who is Bilam that G-d has to protect his dignity ? Why protect the dignity of a low-life ? Reb Chaim points out that even the most low and despicable individual is not to be humiliated more than is absolutely nessesary. The stature and importance of Man -created in G-d’s image-is so great that sensitivity has to be applied even to the wicked Bilam . G-d set aside his own honor in order to preserve the dignity of Bilam. The Sages say that Bilam’s donkey was killed so that people shouldn’t say this is the animal that humiliated Bilam. “I CAN’T MOVE BECAUSE THE ANGEL IS IN FRONT OF ME, HELLO !!! EVEN THIS ANIMAL CAN SEE, GET WITH THE PROGRAM, BOSS” the donkey opened his mouth and spoke out to Bilam. What a miracle…A talking donkey!!! Doesn’t it remind you of the talking horse, Mr. Ed? WILBUR !! Hey, talking animals are hard to find. Even if the animal would have remained alive it would have brought a tremendous sanctification of G-d’s name. People would have pointed to the donkey and proclaimed “G-d wonders and justice”. It would have been living testimony of G-d’s creation and control of the world. However the dignity of man would have suffered severely and therefore the animal had to be put to death. The same principle applies for any person killed for having relations with animals. The Torah says the animal should be put to death as well. What did the poor animal do besides being an uncooperative participant? People would point out ” this animal and so and so…..”

We had discussed many times the importance of offering guests chibud kal-light refreshment. There is a fascinating Rashi in parshat “Va’Yechi” which discusses the importance of greeting a guest with a smile. Seeing the white teeth from a smile is better than offering a tall glass of milk, which is also white. The tip will not be appreciated if it’s given grudgingly and with a frown. Here we see even if no money and refreshment were presented, just a smile… the soul of the guest is satisfied and dignity is restored..

I recently asked a neighbor how his son, who became a junior counselor for the first time this past summer faired with tips. Counselors similar to waiters, for the most part, only get compensated for their work through tips. The father took the concept of dignity even to a higher sensitive level. He said, with a disappointed voice, “my son received the full amount of money that was projected, however, no note was put into the envelope stating thank you. It seemed like they just put the money in the envelope because they were obligated”.

Dr. Goldman brings up a very crucial observation. The most abused people, in terms of dignity, are children. Parents often humiliate kids in front of other parents or their children’s friends. One should know the humiliation has an everlasting affect on the child. If a parent thinks that a child is just a child and doesn’t have the capability to get truly offended…think again! A parent cannot even receive forgiveness from the child for reason that he is not of age, doesn’t have the power, according to Jewish law to forgive. The good Doctor gives a common example. After services in Beit Haknesset (shul) on Shabbat, we often speak to our friends, sometimes at length, where our child is pulling us out of boredom. We, then react in a negative way towards the child. If we were with an adult guest, instead of the child, would we still have a lengthy conversation with our friend? Here too… the child’s dignity has been marked.

We even offer dignity to the sotah, the unfaithful wife, who would deserve death, had there been witnesses to her sin. Yet, when there are no witnesses, every attempt is made to have her confess and be saved. She is harassed continuously and moved from place to place in the Temple courtyard, all for the purpose of causing her to confess and be saved from a horrible death.

One of the major aspects of interpersonal communication according to the Torah is to make people feel good. Whether it be by tipping or just a smile and a good morning, the action restores dignity which is sorely needed by each individual.

The Torah requires that we give parting gifts to the Jewish slave, since, for six years he has been at our beck and call, giving us the highest level of personal service that one Jew can give another. We are obligated, therefore, to restore his dignity… We hope that dignity is restored within him and the family structure will return when he’s back to the level of equality status

What method is best in dealing with the goyim?

December 5, 2014 avimatmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilus, Samson Rafael Hirsch z’l, Berril Wein, Gedalia Shorr z’l, Noach Isaac Oelbaum and Dr. Abba Goldman

An Israeli Iron Dome operator is claiming that he witnessed ‘the hand of G-d’ diverting an incoming Hamas rocket into the sea.

The commander claims that the Divine intervention stopped the death of hundreds of Israeli citizens.

Israel’s Iron Dome system allows it to shoot down incoming rockets or mortars headed toward major population centers in Israel.

“Israel Today”-translated a report from a Hebrew-language news site, which carried the man’s report after about an incoming rocket headed toward Tel Aviv.

The commander recalled: ‘A missile was fired from Gaza. Iron Dome precisely calculated [its trajectory].

‘We fired the first [interceptor]. It missed. Second [interceptor]. It missed. This is very rare. I was in shock.

The defense system has been highly effective in the current round of violence between Israel and Hamas militants in the Gaza Strip – Israeli officials say it has a success rate as high as 90 percent.

The commander explains that with ‘just four seconds’ until the missile landed the military warned emergency services to be on standby.

‘Suddenly, Iron Dome (which calculates wind speeds, among other things) shows a major wind coming from the east, a strong wind that … sends the missile into the sea. We were all stunned. I stood up and shouted, ‘There is a G-d!,’ he said.

‘I witnessed this miracle with my own eyes. It was not told or reported to me. I saw the hand of G-d send that missile into the sea.’

Iron Dome uses radar, advanced tracking technology and anti-missile batteries to follow the trajectory of an incoming rocket or mortar and determine if it is headed for a major population center.

If an urban area is threatened, interceptors are fired to detonate in the air in close proximity to the missile.

Projectiles not posing a threat are allowed to fall in empty fields.

The system targets short-range rockets with a range between two miles and 45 miles; interceptors cost as much $100,000 a piece.

Created by Israel’s Rafael Advanced Defense Systems, Iron Dome has enjoyed strong U.S. technological and financial support.

President Barack Obama signed a bill granting an additional $225 million in U.S. taxpayer dollars for Israel’s Iron Dome missile defense system.

The U.S. has provided hundreds of millions of dollars for Iron Dome in the past.

The new package is intended to replenish Israel’s capabilities.

Congress approved the money before lawmakers left for their annual summer break. Obama signed the bill in the late afternoon in the Oval Office with a handful of photographers present.

Throughout history we Jews had to endure, on occasion, a great deal of persecution from the nations of the world. At times the goyim are peaceful, however, at times, with no apparent reason, they can show their vicious hatred, unexpectedly.

In this week’s parsha we discover methods in how our forefather, Yaakov, dealt with such adversity.

The Odd Couple – Oscar and Felix, Abbot and Costello, and Laurel and Hardy, had contrasting personalities which resulted in tremendous amount of unproductive mishap. Apparently, contrary to those guys, it was designed in the heavens that our forefather – Yitzchak’s sons, Yaakov and his brother – Eisav, two opposites, with their individual tremendous talents, were destined to enhance the spiritual level of the world to such an extent that the Mashiach was to arrive in their time. Eisav was supposed to be the fourth father to complement the four mothers. He was an “Ish Tzayid” – a hunter, meaning his method was to attract the average Joe with his charisma and trap him, to bait and entice him to pursuit G-d. Yaakov’s task, on the other hand, was to elevate the high level of goodness, the tzadikim of the generation, even higher.

Eisav failed to accomplish his task leaving Yaakov the one to perform his job of pursuit of excellence as well as Eisav’s job of accomplishing by deception.

The Zohar comments on the verse “And afterwards his brother came out and his hand was holding on to the heel of Eisav; and his name was called Yaakov” [Bereshis 25:26]. The Zohar states that Eisav is compared to the Original Snake (nachash kadmoni). The force in this world that represents the Original Snake that tricked Adam and Chava into eating from the Tree of Knowledge, the personification of that Snake in this world, is Eisav.

How does the Torah tell us to deal with that Original Snake? “And you will strike him in the heel” [3:15]. Against the powers of that Snake, you will not be able to make a frontal attack. To be successful against him, you must grab him by the heel, from behind. This is the only way to deal with the Snake and with Eisav.

The Zohar says that when the verse, which we read in last week’s parsha, tells us here that Yaakov’s hand was holding Eisav’s heel, the Torah is setting the stage and is telling us how Yaakov — in the future — will have to deal with Eisav. He is going to have to deal with him by attacking at the heel; he is going to have to deal with him, sometimes, deceitfully and secretly. That is the only way one can deal with that Snake.

This is what our Sages mean when they say (on the verse [Samuel II 22:27] “With a pure one, You show Yourself pure; but with a perverse one, You deal crookedly.”) that you cannot always be upfront and straightforward with a person who is a liar. Even Yaakov, the man of Truth, has a mandate from the Torah, that the way to deal with Eisav is by ‘heel,’ which is connoted in Yaakov’s name.

But, points out Rav Elie Munk, Yaakov undergoes two name changes in the Torah. First, Yaakov is changed to Yisrael. Rash”i, over there, says that ‘Yaakov’ refers to a person who waits in ambush, but there will come a time when you will be called ‘Yisrael’ — connoting an officer and a prince. You will then be able to deal with Eisav, no longer deceitfully, but as an equal.

However, we find, that even after Yaakov was called Yisrael, the Torah still, sometimes refers to him as ‘Yaakov’ and sometimes refers to him as ‘Yisrael.’ Why? Because Yaakov can not yet totally abandon the practices of ‘Yaakov’. Throughout Jewish history, there were times when we as a people had to fall back on the tactics of ‘Yaakov’ and could not go with the name ‘Yisrael.’ When we are surrounded by 140 million people wishing to destroy us, we cannot always go with the ‘high-road’ behavior. We have to come back to the practices of ‘Yaakov.’

In the End of Days, however, our Sages tell us that Yaakov will go from the name of Yaakov and Yisrael to the name of Yeshurun, meaning straight (from the word ‘yashar’). When the nations of the world will finally come to recognize the greatness of Israel, then Yaakov can be transformed into the name of Yeshurun and will no longer have to deal with Eisav with deceit and tricks.

This is what Yeshaya HaNavi means [Isaiah 40:4] when he says “… and the crooked will be made straight…” [v’haya ha’akov l’mishor]. Rav Munk says this refers to the name Yaakov becoming the name Yeshurun. We will abandon the practices which were forced upon us, those of ‘Yaakov’ and will strictly conduct ourselves according to the practices of ‘Yeshurun’ (straightness).

In this week’s parsha we find the guidelines of how to deal with the enemy when they are knocking on your door potentially in a hostile manner.

After escaping from the wicked Lavan, Yaakov and his family face another challenge.

To get home, they must first pass through the land of Eisav, Yaakov’s violent brother. As Yaakov well knows, Eisav has been plotting to kill him for many years.

So Yaakov prepares a brilliant three-part plan that teaches us how to deal with bullies like Eisav.

First, Yaakov prays to G-d to protect him and his family.

Second, Yaakov sends messengers to Eisav with pleasant words and valuable gifts, to let Eisav know that he wants peace.

Third, in case all else fails, Yaakov prepares to fight his brother if he has to.

DIPLOMACY OR IMMEDIATE TOUGH ACTIONS

When the Romans colonized the land of Israel over 2000 years ago, there was a heated debate what method to use in dealing with the occupiers. Caligula, the Emperor of Rome at the time, in an act of egotistical lunacy, placed statues of himself throughout Jerusalem. Shamai’s followers, one of two philosophies being observed by the Jews, at the time, defamed the statues at every opportunity causing an uproar among the Roman authorities.

Hillel, the other philosophy being observed, believed that Jews should not make such a raucous of all these offensive situations and play a more diplomacy game. Hillel’s approach was predominantly practiced, for the most part, throughout Jewish history. However though, we have seen, in our time especially, a approach similar to Shamai.

Interestingly, I came across a fellow brother who works for AIPAC which practices the Hillel approach perfectly and effectively.

American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) ) is a lobbying group that advocates pro-Israel policies to the Congress and Executive Branch of the United States. Describing itself as “America’s Pro-Israel Lobby”, AIPAC has more than 100,000 members, seventeen regional offices, and “a vast pool of donors.” It has been called “the most important organization affecting America’s relationship with Israel,” and

one of the most powerful lobbying groups in the United States. The group does not raise funds for political candidates itself, but helps organize to channel money to candidates, AIPAC describes itself as a bipartisan organization, and bills it lobbies for in Congress are always jointly sponsored by both a Democrat and Republican.

AIPAC’s stated purpose is to lobby the Congress of the United States on issues and legislation related to Israel. AIPAC regularly meets with members of Congress and holds events where it can share its view.

Most members of congress are not very proficient in foreign affairs. They basically cater to the needs of their district which consists of local matters. AIPAC educates these congressmen providing the real truth about Israel.

AIPAC influences lawmakers:

* matching an AIPAC member with shared interests to a congressperson/senator to serve as a contact to them;

* “carefully curated”, “lavish” trips to Israel for legislators and other opinion-makers, all expenses paid for by AIPAC’s charitable arm. In 2005 alone, more than 100 members of Congress visited Israel, some multiple times.

* cultivating potential politicians such as student council presidents. At colleges it provides “political leadership training” to undergraduate student groups. This is an effort to “build a stronger pro-Israel movement among students on and off campuses nationwide”.

* sympathy for Israel among the general public.

AIPAC executive director – Howard Kohr appeared before the House Committee on Appropriations’ Foreign Operations subcommittee and requested that Israel receive $2.775 billion in military aid in fiscal year 2010, as called for in the 2007 Memorandum of Understanding between the US and Israel that allocates $30 billion in aid for the Jewish state over 10 years.

During the Gaza conflict, AIPAC has made a priority of sending a message of bipartisan congressional support for all of Israel’s actions. Pro-Israel resolutions passed by unanimous consent carry weight, but not nearly so much as military funding. During the fighting, Israel has relied on the Iron Dome system, a U.S.-funded missile defense that has largely neutralized Hamas’s rockets. Although the U.S. was scheduled to deliver $351 million for the system starting in October, AIPAC wanted more money right away. On July 22nd, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel had sent a letter to Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader, seeking an immediate payment of $225 million. The project Iron Dome is to be continued uninterrupted!!

AIPAC is influential; AIPAC has helped their brothers in Israel; AIPAC is greatly responsible for the Iron Dome project; AIPAC has done it all by diplomacy…….THE HILLEL WAY!! This is diplomacy at its best; the Jewish way at its finest.

However, diplomacy, at times, has not always been the Jewish way. We see, further, in this week’,s parsha, Yaakov’s daughter, Dina, is raped by Shechem, leader of the town. The town’s people cover up the crime and protect it’s leader.

After Shechem reaches out to Yaakov’s children to make peace, and propose intermarriage between each other, Levi and Shimon respond by telling them the bond between us can only be united only if the men in the town will be circumcised. On the third day, though, after all the men in the town were circumcised, Shimon and Levi destroyed and massacred the men in the town.

Although it seems like through the scripture in the Chumash that the Torah defends and justifies their killing of the town, Yaakov , however did not approve.

On Yaakov’s deathbed, later on – in Parshat Vayechi – “At this critical juncture, when Yehudah is assigned the crown of royalty, Yisachar – the role of scholar, Zevulun – the role of philanthropist and so on, what does Yaakov say to Shimon and Levi? He reminds them of the outburst of bloody rage in which they destroyed the city of Shechem. “Their weaponry is a stolen craft,” he declares, behavior unfit for the exalted family of Yaakov, a page stolen from the book of Eisav.”

When the Jews were under the British rule in the 40’s, the Brits favored the Arabs because of their oil. The Jews would constantly be harassed by both the British soldiers and the Arabs.. They had no choice and developed an underground that terrorized their enemy.

Diplomacy is the Jewish way. As a matter of fact, we see from this week’s parsha that Yaakov’s concern of the wholeness and wellbeing of his family while Eisav is establishing himself as a leader and a warlord. This is the way it’s been defined for thousands of years. We’ve always been behind the scenes, whether writing the president’s speech, making the calculating decisions as opposed to being the president himself. Although, being in the front line is the glorious and glamorous choice, it might not be the optimal Jewish choice.

Burning love aimed at you

December 1, 2014 avimatmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilus, Baruch Dopelt, Akiva Grunblatt

It disturbs and burns me up when our fellow brethren are killed or maimed as a result of terrorism. Our heart bleeds seeing the widows of men who attended synagogue that awful day, seeing the mothers of the three boys kidnapped and murdered or any victims and their families of these barbaric acts. Having bad fortune can be a scary thing. My cousins in Israel are mortified in the thought of getting a knock on the door from the Israeli army informing them of tragedy of their sons status in the army. Unfortunately, my grandparents had such a knock sixty years ago, in Israel, informing them of the death of my uncle; it changed their lives forever. Adversity, in general, is something that can rattle our lives if one lets it.

One wonders how can this happen to us, we are G-d’s chosen people? Doesn’t G-d love us?

There are people who preach “G-d loves his Jewish people”. They walk around constantly reaffirming “G-d loves me, G-d loves me”. It seems to me their reaction is slightly corny. I’m sorry to offend some people, however I was always one to passionately voice an opinion. There is a different way of looking at it. We are players in this world and G-d dealt us our own tailor made deck and we have to know how to play the game; we have to do the commandments as best as possible….period. G-d loves everybody, but that’s irrelevant. Perhaps people need that extra boost of knowing G-d loves them. Hey, whatever motivates!

However, after being made aware of a verse by Rabbi Yissachar Frand in this week’s parsha and numerous places in our holy Torah I’m retracting my approach that the existence of chocolate and coffee isn’t the predominant proof that G-d loves us.

Now lets ask the reader:

Who is the biggest nation in the world today? It’s the Chinese. There are more Chinese in the world than any other people. The second largest nationality is the Indians.

It seems like it’s a pretty sure bet that it’s not the Jews. As of matter of fact, in the course of history, it never was. Apparently, this is in contrast to many verses that in our Torah. When G-d told Avraham “I will make you into a great nation” [Bereshis 12:2] Avraham asked Him (according to the Medrash) “but You already have 70 nations who are descended from Noach, what will be so special about another nation?” The Almighty answered Avraham — “The nation that will descend from you is the nation about whom it will be said “For which is such a great nation?” (ki mi goy gadol) [Devorim 4:7] – that is the nation that will emerge from you.”

What is the meaning of “goy gadol” (literally, big nation)? There are approximately 12 million Jews in the world. Never have we ever been the “goy gadol”. So what is the interpretation of the aforementioned Medrash? What is the nature of this peculiar dialog between Avraham and the Almighty? We are no ware near the Chinese nor are we #2, the Indians.

Similarly, at the beginning of our Parsha, G-d blesses Yaakov with the words “I am G-d, G-d of Avraham your father and G-d of Yitzchak; the ground upon which you are lying, to you will I give it and to your descendants. Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth, and you shall spread out powerfully westward, eastward, northward, and southward…” [Bereshis 28:13-14].

The simple understanding of the blessing “Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth” is that Yaakov’s descendants should be so plentiful that their numbers will be comparable to the dust of the earth.

There are a number of other such similar phrases “Like the stars in Heaven” [Bereshis 22:17] and that we should be “like the sand of the sea” (k’chol haYam) [Breishis 32:13]. All this connotes plentiful. It gives the notion of positive aura from G-d.

It seems like there is a deeper meaning to the references of G-d making us plentiful.

There is a famouse Rashi in the begining of the book of Shemot referring to the consensus that was taken of children of Yisrael. There have been many counts and Rashi gives a parable. Just like one who counts something precious over and over again, so too G-d counts his Jewish people over and over again. To further develop this idea, the verse in Bamidbar 1:2 says that G-d commanded Moshe to count the Jews according to the “number of names.” The Sforno says that this count was unlike any other national census. It’s true that the count kept track of how many Jews there were. However, as each Jew was counted, his name was given special consideration by G-d as well. The Sforno says that a person’s name reveals something deep about his essence. The fact that the counting involved considering each individual as a personality as well as a number shows us that G-d doesn’t only take great pleasure in counting us as a member of the Jewish people; He also loves just to see us and appreciate each of us as we are. Our personal strengths and even our struggles are very valuable to G-d and the count teaches us this concept.

The Torah uses interesting terminology when referring to the census. When Hashem commands Moshe to take the tally of the people He says “שאו את ראש בני ישראל” which literally means “raise the heads of the Bnei Yisrael.” However, the Midrash in Bamidbar Rabba 1:11 says that it can also mean “take off the heads of the Bnei Yisrael.” The Midrash explains that Hashem was hinting that if the Jews are worthy their heads will “be raised,” meaning that they will become successful and great. However, if the Jewish people do not merit, they will perish instead. A question to ponder on this Midrash is why did G-d choose to hint to this idea here? What does the census have to do with personal accountability?

The Sfat Emet, in the name of the Chiddushei HaRim, says that every person has a job in this world that only he can do. No one can do that job for him and he can’t do anyone else’s job. Every challenge and opportunity that one has in life is uniquely suited for him according to his strengths and weaknesses. The service G-d requires of each person is unique, and if a Jew fails to complete his mission in life he has deprived the entire world of all the things he had to offer. G-d specifically hints to this when commanding Moshe to take the census. Every Jew should know that he matters a lot and his actions have a profound impact on the world. Therefore, the responsibility that being a Jew entails is enormous and ignoring one’s obligation deserves severe punishment.

Furthermore being the descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov means we inherited their genes. The mold of leadership, ambassadors of the Almighty, their ability to overcome adversity and introduce G-d’s qualities to the world.

Now, perhaps, we can understand what Gadol means. It’s a special connotation to the word “gadol”. “Gadol” does not mean “big” as in “numerically large”. Rav Dessler points out that the interpretation of “gadol” is revealed to us by its first appearance in the Torah [Bereshis 1:16] “et haMaor haGadol” (the great light, referring to the sun). “Gadol” means the ability to give to others. The sun is not called “gadol” because it is so big. The sun is called “gadol” because it provides light and heat for the entire universe.

Likewise, when Moshe tells G-d “You have begun to show “Gadlecha” to your servant” [Devorim 3:24] what does “Gadlecha” mean? Rashi explains in Parshas V’Etchanan “this refers to the Attribute of your Goodness” (zu midat Tuvecha). The Almighty is the ultimate Giver. We give our uniqueness to the world.

Similarly, when we praise G-d in Shmoneh Esrei in the expression “haKel haGadol” the word Gadol does not mean “big”, it means He is the Master of Kindness and Goodness”. Another similarity is the meaning of “and Moshe became a Gadol and went out to see his brethren’s suffering” [Shmos 2:11]. Since Moshe was a “gadol” he wanted to become aware first hand of how his brethren were suffering and see how he might be able to help them.

The technical definition of “gadol” is “the capacity to do for others, to help others, to be concerned about others”. When we talk about an “Adam Gadol” (a person who is a gadol), we are not speaking merely about erudition. It is not merely defining someone who knows the entire Torah. Every Gadol who we can think of was a person that was always concerned about the community. That is the definition of a Gadol.

Now we understand the dialogue between Avraham and G-d. There are plenty of nations in the world. There are 2 billion Chinese and a billion Indians. However, G-d promised Avraham that he would make him into a nation that is “gadol”, meaning a nation of people that care about others and have the capacity to give.

THE STARS

Rav Mordechai Kamenetsky gives an interesting interpretation of “Like the stars in Heaven”. The Almighty was not interested in having Avraham count the stars. He was showing him something symbolic. He wanted him to just look up at the heavens. Looking up at the heavens is looking at one of the great mysteries of the world. To this very day the stars, the heavens, the galaxies, the Milky Way fascinate man. They are one great mystery. The greatest scientists of our own generation are still baffled about what goes on in the deep recesses of outer space. Scientists will be studying the stars from now until the end of time.

The Almighty takes Avraham outside his tent and tells him “You don’t understand, Avraham, how your legacy will be preserved. After all, you have no children yet and you are an old man. I say that you will become a great nation, but you don’t understand. Go outside and try to understand the stars. If stars are one of the mysteries of this world that defy explanation — so too will your descendants defy explanation. Jews also are one of the great mysteries of the world.

Logically speaking, we should have been wiped off the face of the earth centuries ago. We are still around! This is a great mystery! Just like the stars and the heavens and the galaxies are a great mystery “so too shall be your descendants”.

DUST OF THE EARTH

The Medrash explains the very powerful significance of the choice of words “dust of the earth”. The blessing of “k’afar ha’Aretz” represents the history of the Jews. Everybody tramples over the dust of the earth, but in the end the dust of the earth always remains on top. That same dust ultimately covers those who trample it.

“From dust you are taken and to dust you will return” [Bereshis 3:19]. In the final analysis, the dust of the earth is always on top. This is the analogy and the blessing of “Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth.” Yaakov is told that his children will be trampled upon and spat upon, like the dust. But in the end, like the dust, they will remain on top.

G-d loves us and it shows from all the warm references throughout the Torah. However, we live by a higher standard then the other nations due to being the ambassadors of His Majesty. Therefore, our actions are scrutinized immeasurably by G-d as well as by other nations. We set the standards of humanity!

Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt conveys to us an astonishing insight into Achashverosh searching for the next queen. Apparently, it wasn’t just Ester who was hiding from being selected for this contest. Most if not all of the nations of the world’ maidens were appalled by being selected. Apparently, once you are selected as a contestant, and they were tens of thousands, one is forbidden to be with another man for the rest of their lives.

This was a travesty, an enormous disaster decreed by a lunatic dictator…….and so it happened.

Why!! It’s a major catastrophe of the time!!

G-d runs the world and the Sages say the reason G-d allowed Achoshverosh to go forth with his plan is because when the Jews were expelled from Babylonia after the destruction of the first Temple, the nations of the world were making fun of the Jewish girls that they were tanned and ugly (today tan is preferred).. Here were the Jews devastated, destroyed and demoralized losing there spiritual essence, their temple and add insult to injury the non-Jews were ridiculing them. Although the Jewish nation deserved being expelled nevertheless G-d protects the image of his chosen people. As a result, many years later it was payback.

There are many bumps in the road which delays our mission in this world or perhaps that is the mission and that is dealing with those bumps. But what we learn through the many references about G-d’ affection towards us, in the Torah, is that we are special! G-d has an insatiable love for us and He is there to help us with our mission. We have a special and responsible mission, one that only we can uniquely accomplish!

Important tips before marriage

November 13, 2014 admin Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s ,Baruch Doppelt, Yossi Bilus, Noach Isaac Oelbaum and Dr. Abba Goldman

Who doesn’t like going to a wedding? We all do, but why? For one, we are supporting the union of two people; it’s a start of a new family. That’s exciting!! Secondly, we have a chance, if we come early enough, to enjoy the delicacies at the smorgasbord. Some of us have it planned, by knowing the caterer before hand, what food station to go to first when arriving at the hall (Meisner’s meatballs, Letterman’s shishkabob). Furthermore, in our hectic habitual lifestyle we have a chance to see our friends and have a good time.

Let me ask you a personal question, have you ever gotten emotional at the wedding ceremony – the chuppah. When I was younger I would always try to hide my emotions even though, I must say, some chuppahs were touching. However, I could not let my guard down, I felt it would ruin my manly image. As time passed on, the manly image didn’t seem very important anymore. Today, I look at that as sheer nonsense. Seeing the chattan and kallah brings to light a certain thrill of humanity. As time moves forward, it’s inevitable that one has seen his measure of pain and anguish in the course of his existence and watching a beautiful moment of life brings out an abundance of joy in us through tears.

We recite seven brachot in honor of the chattan and kallah at the chuppah. It seems like our Sages devised these blessings in a way that it is just that, blessings. We have to understand what they mean and be aware of its strong implications. For example, an obvious question is found in bracha 5 and 6:. שַׂמַּח תְּשַׂמַּח רֵעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵֽדֶן מִקֶּֽדֶם: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּֽחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה רִנָּה דִּיצָה וְחֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחֲוָה שָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת, מְהֵרָה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָיִם, קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחֻפָּתָם, וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלּ

6)Grant abundant joy to these loving friends, as You bestowed gladness upon Your created being in the Garden of Eden of old. Blessed are You L-rd, who gladdens the groom and bride

7)Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who created joy and happiness, groom and bride, gladness, jubilation, cheer and delight, love, friendship, harmony and fellowship. L-rd our G-d, let there speedily be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of happiness, the sound of a groom and the sound of a bride, the sound of exultation of grooms from under their chupah, and youths from their joyous banquets. Blessed are You L-rd, who gladdens the groom with the bride.

There is a question – what’s the difference or the meaning behind blessing #6 which ends with “who gladdens the groom and -(VEH) the bride” as appose to in blessing #7 “gladdens the groom with-(IM) the bride”. If the Sages make a distinction between the two, “the VEH” in blessing #6 -and ….”with-IM” in blessing #7. Our Sages are very meticulous and thought conscience in what they write. One could rest and be sure that any scripture that is produced for prayers and blessings is cleverly devised..

The Sages are teaching us a very important insight in marriage. In order to make your
bride – Kallah happy, one must first be happy himself. Only when he has shalom and tranquility with his state of mind, can he make another content.

It is noteworthy, too, that the Torah sets the standard of loving others using the self as the yardstick. Where do we find, asks the Sefat Emet, that there is a mitzvah to love oneself, that we are then commanded to love others to the same degree? And if indeed loving oneself is not a “mitzvah,” only an instinctive part of human nature, then how can the Torah use self-love as a benchmark by which to measure our love for our fellow man?

Perhaps the Torah is affirming one of the very basic tenets of psychology and human nature: The self-hater is not capable of feeling true love for others. In other words, it is not so much that self-love is a benchmark for loving others; it’s a prerequisite. In this context, when we speak of self-love, what we really mean is having a positive self-image, or what is today known as self-esteem.

So if the prerequisite for a happy marriage is being happy, one of the key elements having a happy marriage is found in this weeks parsha.

Finding a life partner is always a difficult task. I can be a witness to that being a frequent and reluctant participant in the New York Jewish frum singles scene. Often it felt grueling and humiliating attending those events. It was a tremendous pleasure to tell the matchmaker when they called to ask me if I want to date a certain girl, to take me off your list because I’m engaged!!!. But imagine how much more difficult it must have been for Abraham to find a wife for his son – Isaac in ancient Canaan. The entire world was pagan except for Abraham, his family and a small group of his followers. Where was he to find a girl who would readily abandon her culture and embrace the Jewish way of life?

As we read in this week’s portion, Abraham sends his retainer Eliezer to Syria to seek out a wife among the other branches of his family. Eliezer arrives at his destination bearing gifts for the prospective bride and somewhat daunted by his mission. Standing beside the well in the town square, he prays to G-d that he be allowed to find a proper mate for Isaac.

Eliezer seems prepared for a grueling search, but lo and behold, no sooner does he finish praying that Rebecca instantly appears. She meets all the criteria for character and background.

There are certain parshiot in the Torah that are benchmarks for particular important topics. Parshat Vayera is for harmony of marriage. Vayeshev, Miketz and Vayigash prone to envoke discussions of leadership. When parshat Chayeh Sarah came, many singles would flock to Rav Pam Shabbat afternoons lecture because they knew he, like many Rabbis would, talk about how to find the right mate.

We know that Yitzchak had the characteristic of gevura-judgement. He had a tremendous fear of G-d. That was his claim to fame. He was also quite personality, quite the opposite of his charismatic outgoing father. It’s funny how he was named Yitzchak-laughter. This is someone who was apparently “very serious” about life. His character certainly did not agree with his name. However, Rabbi Dopelt says “when one has the proper fear of G-d and is channeled correctly, he is so confident that everything comes from G-d, where any annoyance, bad omen that is presented in the course of ones life and marriage, for sure, is part and parcel of ones experiences, will not bother him. He will be in complete control knowing that it is G-d that is in control. When we say “fear of G-d”, the benchmark is Yitzchak. For this reason, the Akeda, was Avraham, his father’s test and not his. One who’s characteristic is Gevura-judgment will not flinch at the prospect of sacrificing something so dear for G-d. Avraham’s character, on the other hand, was kindness, the antithesis of the Akeda. The frame of mind that Yitzchak had as a result of having the highest level of fear produced serenity and calmness which automatically spilled over to his marriage. The reason is, again, whatever happens in life is G-d sent.

Rivka, as we study in the parsha, was crowned “wife of Yitzchak” because of the kindness she did with Eliezer. She passed his test, earned her stripes as kindness worthy to be in the house of Avraham.

Doctor Goldman says, if one has gone through psychological pain and is absorbed in agony, discomfort and depression they, for the most part, will not be able to be reaching out to others. A giving person on the caliber of Rivka had to have a makeup of well put together person.

There are 2 parts to the famous statement that the great scholar, Hillel, said ” If I don’t take care of myself – no one will”, the second part “if the focus is myself – then what am I?”. The two statements go hand in hand, one has to be in peace with himself because, then, his task will be to take care of others.

Rabbi Yossi Bilus attended a while back a lecture by Rav Pam on Chayeh Sarah. He tells over a powerful lesson that made an imprint on his life.

Many times people date with hopes to find their partner in life. Many times people think they’ve graduated from “hoping to find” to “it’s happening”; “I’ve found my match”. They’re thinking – how many kids they are going to have and where to live. However, a short time later, the other party walks away not interested, leaving the person devastated and doomed. There are those that never get over the hurt.

Eliezer is sure that he found Yitzchak’s mate to such an extent that the minute he sees

Rivka, he showers her with jewelry. But then he says something peculiar as later he meets Rivka’s family to discuss terms. In chapter 24 pasuk 49 he says ” And now if you want to do kindness and are interested – tell me if not I will turn to the right or left”. In other words, if you’re interested, great, if not I will look elsewhere. Wait!!! isn’t she the one!!! You put on her all that jewelry!! You anointed her “a wife for Yitzchak”!! All that kindness, WOW!!! However, we see if it’s not working out, it seems like it’s not what G-d wants and we, no matter how sure we were, no matter how perfect it seemed, have to move on!!

My mother would always say to me when I was dating, “every pot has a cover”. It was reassuring words. However, in order for that to happen, we have to be in peace with ourselves. We have to have the right frame of mind to make the great big step. We also have to let go of the ghosts in our heads of what it would have been like if the other party would have stayed. That was the past; we must look forward.

If one wants to succeed in life its important to have….

November 6, 2014 admin Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Akiva Grunblatt, Yissachar Frand,Baruch Doppelt, Yossi Bilus, Eliyahu Hoffman, Naftali Reich and Dr. Abba Goldman

It’s always uneasy and difficult when children don’t see eye to eye with their father and mother. It’s even more horrific and crazy when the children actually rebel against them and try to kill their parents; that’s a pretty nightmarish thought!!. Unfortunately, in our illustrious rich Jewish history a regrettable incident of that nature occurred. Avshalom wanted to overthrow his father, King David, and take over the kingdom. Avshalom meant business and drove his father out of Jerusalem. King David took refuge from Avshalom’s forces beyond the Jordan River having being put in a disadvantage position.

War is war and spies are a part of war as weapons are. In fact one can say spies are a vital weapon as any. David took the precaution of instructing a servant, Hushai, to infiltrate Avshalom’s court and subvert it. Hushai convinced Avshalom to ignore Ahithophel’s advice to attack his father while he was on the run, and instead prepare his forces for a major attack. This gave David critical time to prepare his own troops for the coming battle.

It’s pretty apparent G-d was on David’s side because Ahithophel, who was considered one of the smartest men that ever live, was a sure bet when he advised. One can take his advice to the bank.

So the question is asked, how did Hushai do it? How did he convince Avshalom over the logic and reputation of Achitofel?

There is an old expression: When you have truth on your side – pound on the truth! When you have the law on your side – pound on the law! When you have neither….. POUND ON THE TABLE!

Hushai screamed out!! He was temperamental, passionate and emotional. There was no logic and substance to his argument; he was just enthusiastically charged. His apparent display convinced Avshalom to follow his advice which eventually led to his downfall.

After Avshalom made a decision to take Hushai advice, Ahithofel knew he was doomed; he knew Avshalom would lose. Ahithofel committed suicide.

What was so appealing to Hushai’s approach?

Let’s examine an important aspect of human nature by looking into this weeks parsha.

An important and puzzling observation is brought out about Avraham, our forefather. G-d reveals why he loved Avraham so much. We learn, it’s because Avraham possessed the uncanny ability to pass down the word of G-d quite successfully to the next generation. This is quite a revelation considering Avraham’s famous reputation in performing kindness. Furhtermore Avraham was the first one to discover G-d and he did it all by himself. Those are heavy duty credentials; those are big time browny points on the resume. However, it was the passing down the good word to his children and students that was the convincing soft spot in G-d’s heart.

What was the method he used? How was he so convincing?

I think, we would be able to understand a bit more of Avraham’s success by looking at a thought from Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, one of the leading Rabbis in America in the early part of 1900’s. He said ” one may be dismayed why so many of the generations that followed the migration from Eastern Europe to America did not keep Shabbat. Why were so many of American Jewish youth not Shabbat observers? Times were tough and it was mandatory to work on Saturday, in the early part of the century; however, many refused. That decision begot devastating results, for most lost their jobs and the rest were at the mercy of their bosses. One would think that since these precious Jews made such sacrifices their children would notice the value of the Shabbat. Wouldn’t they realize how important it meant to their parents and therefore consider it vital to keep? ….Apparently, that wasn’t so.

Rabbi Moshe says, the answer can be found in the Torah and we say the phrase in the kiddush and various times during the Shabbat. V’SHAMRU B’NAI YISRAEL ET HASHABBAT, LA’ASOT ET HASHABBAT L’DOROTAM-and the children of Israel observed the Shabbat, they did-observed the Shabbat for generations. Rabbi Moshe relates “It’s HOW they observed. Let me rephrase that, it’s what their attitude was when they observed. If they observed with the mindset “we sacrificed a lot and are devastated”. Then the children would look at their parents’ negative disposition towards Shabbat and always remember being observant as agonizing! However, if one feels enthusiastic and makes the Shabbat experience happy, then the kids would feed off the warmth and positive attitude!

There was a famous Rabbi who was asked “how is it that your children are not as observant as you?”. He answered ” because I didn’t sing Shabbat songs at the Shabbat table”. There is a certain joy and enthusiasm associated with singing and it’s a tremendous weapon to enhance the Shabbat and that was lacking at my Shabbat table, he said. It’s not just the intellectual aspect of Judaism. We need an emotional injection as well.

Let’s examine how the Torah describes Avraham’s actions and attitude. If one notices the word V’YEMAHER – “and he hurried” is used a number of times. Furthermore the scripture says ” and Avraham got up early in the morning. All this denotes Avraham had a tremendous energy and zeal. However, it also says that he saddled his own donkey. Why would a man of his age and affluence saddle his own donkey? Rashi says “this is sign that Avraham did many of his tasks with enthusiasm”.

Perhaps Avraham was a man of haste; maybe he was a spur of the moment type of guy. A verse regarding the Akeida [the sacrifice of Isaac] says, “On the third day Avraham lifted his eyes and saw the place from a distance” [22:4]. The Medrash Tanchuma asks “why G-d waited until the third day, and did not show the place to Avraham on the first or second day”. The Medrash answers: “The purpose of waiting three days was so that the nations should not think that Avraham was seized by a momentary frenzy, in which he was overcome by emotion and did not have time to reflect on what he was doing. Avraham Avinu had plenty of time to think about the Akeida. For three days he walked and thought it over. But that was Avraham. He was not a flighty man of emotion whose spirit grabbed him for the moment.

This was not the case with our Patriarch Avraham. The pasuk is telling us that Avraham was not merely the type of person who rushed into something on the spur of the moment. His enthusiasm maintained itself beyond the stage of the knee-jerk reaction. Even upon reevaluation — giving the situation a second look, so to speak — he remained determined to offer kindness and hospitality. His attribute of kindness emerged not only from emotion (the first sighting) but from rational consideration, as well (the second sighting).

How many of us remember getting really excited and enthusiastic about something. That’s a childhood frequent occurrence and, frankly, I truly miss that feeling. I remember when my son was about three years old, how he would get excited for the littlest thing.

I read this beautiful poem I would like to share:

A child’s enthusiasm comes in a storm,
taking over the child’s entire world.
That is why, when a child embraces a new, good trait,
it enters forever.

Interestingly there was a meeting between Malchi Tzedek, the elder statesman and one well respected in his generation, with Avraham where bread and wine was emphasized at their meal.

Bread, is only good when it’s fresh. But go to your local vintner, and ask him for a “good fresh bottle of wine,” and watch him cringe in utter distaste. Ask any Frenchman worth his baguette: A fresh-baked loaf of bread, and a chilled bottle of aged wine, these are the components of any gourmet meal. The fresher the bread, and the older the wine, the more the palate takes delight. The Torah describes Avraham in his older years: “And Avraham was old – he had come with his days. (Bereishis 24:1)” This means, that Avraham brought the days of his youth with him into his elder. Normally, youth carries with it the advantage of energy and enthusiasm. As one gets on in his years, he loses the vigour of his youth, but is graced with the wisdom and maturity that come with age. Rare is the individual who can retain the vitality of his youth even as the candles on his proverbial birthday cake fruitfully multiply. Yet, this was exactly what Avraham achieved. While by no means a youngster, he served G-d with the freshness and enthusiasm usually reserved for those still wet behind the ears. As a tribute to this unique combination of youth and age, Malchi-Tzedek served bread and wine, two foods that possess the opposite qualities of freshness and maturity, yet together form a meal pleasing to even the most refined tastebuds.

The story is told of a carpenter who was a master of his craft. He worked diligently for his company throughout his life, earning a wonderful reputation for his skill. Upon reaching retirement age, he informed his boss that he was ready to retire and draw upon his pension for his future salary. His boss implored him to carry out just one more project for him; to build an elegant mansion and to spare no expense in furnishing it. The boss then presented him with a vast sum of money with which to create a dream home.

The carpenter reluctantly acquiesced to his boss’s request but his heart was not really in his work. He would have preferred to start retirement as he had planned. His mind was constantly preoccupied with his vacation plans that he and his wife had carefully worked on. His usual expert work was below standard and in no way reflected his skills.

The wood he selected was of poor grade and the moldings were cheap and commonplace, not cut to perfection. At the conclusion of his work his boss appeared at the worksite for a tour of the home. As they began to tour the finished building together, the boss noted in disappointment the sloppy workmanship and the places where the builder had cut corners by substituting cheap inferior materials for those of better quality.

As they finished the tour, the boss turned to his worker and presented him with the keys to the house. “This home that you have built is a gift to you from the company,” he said, ” in recognition of all your years of devoted service.”

The carpenter was flabbergasted. Regret flooded through him as he realized the opportunity he had squandered. Had I only known that his house was meant for me, I would have done everything so differently, he thought. How could I have shortchanged myself so?

All too often we give to various charities and engage in worthy causes out of a sense of obligation. This may be praiseworthy but it will not secure us the ultimate blessing when we give of ourselves with genuine love and go beyond the call of duty.

Only then can we be assured that we are gracing our eternal home with accouterments and furnishings that reflect our true ability and worth and that we will enjoy for eternity.

One practical lesson we can use to spur our personal growth is to realize that in applying our energies to our life mission and our most important relationships, we must reach as high as we can. Like our forefather Avraham, we should not be satisfied with carrying out our minimum obligations.

Only when we invest true love and genuine dedication in a relationship will we attain a lasting, genuine bond. In order to succeed in life its important to have enthusiasm.

Would you be able to withstand the influence of others?

October 29, 2014 admin Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Yonnasan Zweig, Yissachar Frand,Baruch Doppelt, Yossi Bilus and Dr. Abba Goldman

How true are you to yourself? When a decision is made, is it decided fairly? Would it be possible that outside forces influence the choices that one makes? An important question has to be asked: How reliable are these outside forces? Do we have the power, the choice to avoid them, to block them out if we determine a no good decision will result if these outside sources are factored in?

There was a motion picture, many years ago, based on a true story called “Donny Brosko.” The film depicts an undercover police officer who infiltrates the mob. In the beginning of his assignment, the officer wore his badge while not undercover with pride; “I’m doing the right thing” was the impression he conveyed. There was a clear distinction between Right and Wrong – Good Guy versus Bad Guy. Dr. Goldman, the psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, says that even when there is a clear cut Right and Wrong, people are very sensitive and are affected by the social influences surrounding them! The spy is a lone believer in his values surrounded by those with diametrically opposed views. His only venue of expression is internal, given his hostile surroundings. This presents a major problem according to Dr. Goldman. While pretending to be somebody else with polar opposite values, often times the spy himself can wind up inevitably questioning his original set of values and ideologies. It takes a very high level of conviction and devotion to one’s own values to maintain such pretence over a period of time. “Frankly,” Dr. Goldman says, “it is almost impossible.” On a subconscious level, intellectual dishonesty does not sit well with human nature.

The police officer in the film did in fact begin to sympathize with some of the mob members. At a startling moment in the film, he smacks his wife which was tremendously out of character for his regular self. Was it possible that his true self was being sucked into his fictitious persona? Perhaps his intellectual armor was cracking and as with many, he begins to think and act like those around him. Perhaps he, like others, begins to actually embrace his new identity. After all, that’s the reason his superiors selected him in the first place, because they felt he would be “perfect” for the part.

At the conclusion of the film when the officer received his medal of citation for a successful mission by sending those mob members to prison, he conveyed an expression of uneasiness and a sense of guilt. What happened to his strong ideology? One has to realize the enormous difficulty of a spy’s mission. How difficult it is to maintain one’s beliefs and ideology in such an atmosphere!

It’s a scary thought to see one degenerate and act like the low life criminal which is quite contrary to one’s ideology. We often take pride in the hard work we have done to maintain a sophisticated, well mannered, educated and emphasizing strong Torah values. We like to label ourselves as Glatt-kosher because this is a value system we inherited from our parents or were taught by our Rabbis, teachers, society leaders. Can those ideologies change? Hey, we’re grown ups; we’re able to make our own rational decisions. Perhaps, that’s not so simple as it seams.

This is a testimony to that which the Rambam says [Hilchot Deos 6:1] (and that which is a sociological fact), namely “a person’s nature is to be drawn in his opinions and his actions after his friends and companions.” Man is the only creature who speaks. Man is a social animal who must interact, and in order to interact it is necessary for him to communicate. In order to communicate, man was given a form of intelligent speech. The downside of this trait is that man is greatly influenced by the speech and communication he receives from others. “Therefore,” the Rambam continues, “man must dwell amongst righteous and wise individuals so that he may learn from their actions and distance himself from the wicked who walk in the ways of darkness so that he not learn from their ways…” In short, the Rambam teaches that a person must be exceedingly careful regarding the company he keeps. Ultimately, a person will become who his neighbors and friends are. If the friends and neighbors are looking out for spiritual growth, then he too will grow spiritually. If the reverse is true, then the outcome will be reversed as well.

Sociological studies have been done where 20 people are in a room and 19 of the participants are “in” on the study and they are told to answer a question in a patently false way (e.g. – the orange is blue). Invariably, the 20th person, who is the actual subject of the study, when asked to answer the same question, answers it in a way that is absurd, just to make his answer correspond with that of everyone else in the room. So profound is the influence of society that something can be black and white and a person will change his response just to conform to everyone else!

Avery difficult to understand dialogue occurred between Avraham and Sarah in this week’s parsha.

“And it occurred, as he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai…”(12:11) As they approached Mitzrayim, Avraham asked Sarah to claim that she was his sister. This was to protect him from the Egyptians who might lust after Sarah, and kill him if they were to know that he was her husband. Why is it necessary for us to know that this discussion transpired as Avraham and Sarah drew close to their destination? Why, in fact, was an issue of such gravity not discussed prior to their departure from Eretz Canaan? The Midrash explains that as they neared their destination, Avraham became aware of Sarah’s exceptional beauty. Why is this the juncture where Avraham becomes aware of his wife’s beauty? Mitzrayim was a country notorious for the immoral and lascivious behavior of its inhabitants.3 Generally, an individual living in such a society would be affected, even if he himself would not indulge in any perverse behavior. Perhaps the Torah is teaching us that although a tzaddik of Avraham’s caliber would not be dragged down by the immorality of the society where he lives, the influence of the society does have a subtle effect on him. In Avraham’s case, this manifested itself in his becoming aware of his wife’s beauty.

1.12:11 2.Tanchuma 5 3.20:15

What is mindboggling; what is the nuance is Avraham and Sarah have not entered Egypt yet!!! They have not set foot on the degenerate soil. How then can the environment have influenced them? We can understand, perhaps, if they stayed just one night, there would be the air of contamination, however, they not only didn’t enter the ring, they didn’t enter the building.
Doctor Goldman is making us aware of a tremendous insight of human psychology. It seems like Avraham’s imagination ran ahead of him in anticipation of the kind of society they were about to embark. There were preconceptions going ahead on this difficult journey. It’s important to map out what we might expect as we embark on our trips. Similarly, when one is about to enter the aircraft taking him to the hot fun sun of Miami Beach; he will be wearing his Bermuda shorts and carry a beach ball under his coat; there will be constant thought of the warm sunny weather. His mindset is his spot on the beach. The cold weather of New York doesn’t bother him anymore. The snow outside the airport terminal is a non- factor. So we see: influence can occur before arriving.

We learn a very alarming aspect of our psychological make up. It seams like society has an impact on our decisions. Even more so, one is influenced just by the anticipation of entering that society and people!!
In the situation in our parsha, Avraham was correct in his assessment of the Egyptian society. His intuitive perception saved their lives.
It’s important that one always have ready trustworthy advisers that perhaps might put the situation in the proper perspective and it’s also important that one anticipates future destinations and is well prepared for the next journey.

The world is build on kindness

October 23, 2014 admin Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim
Baruch Doppelt, Paysach Krohn

The world is built on kindness. This Shabbat we are honored to be part of history as the Jewish world is taking part in the Shabbat Project. Our fellow brethren will extend themselves spiritually by observing Shabbat as it was meant to be. It will be a day of commitment; it will be a day of unity; it will be a day of kindness. One of my favorite and memorable stories on kindness, which I often repeat whenever I get the opportunity to speak is one which I read from one of Rabbi Paysach Krohn’s books. The prime character in the story happens to be none other than Rabbi Krohn’s uncle – Rabbi Yehuda Ackerman.

A Dance for the Ages’

This following story is one of the most remarkable I have ever heard. It was told to me by one of the central characters in the episode, my uncle, Rabbi Yehuda Ackerman, a Stoliner chassid now living in the city of Bnei Brak, Israel. The love and concern for a fellow Jew portrayed here are so genuinely touching that the story inspires all who hear it.

A number of years ago a wealthy individual came to Israel with his family for a few weeks’ vacation. He was just staying in the famous Central Hotel on Rechov Pines in Jerusalem, and that is where he had most of his meals.

One Friday night, after the seudas Shabbos, the gentleman was strolling back and forth outside the hotel where he noticed two chassidic boys rushing somewhere. “Where are you boys off to?” he asked, as they sped by.

“We’re on our way to the Stoliner Rebbe’s tish.” (The word “tish,” literally translated as “table,” is a term used for a gathering of chassidim around their Rebbe’s table.) The gentleman thought that it might be interesting to observe a tish and so he asked, as he hurried to catch up with them, “Do you mind if I come along?”

“No, of course not. But you must walk quickly,” they added, “because it is starting soon.”

The three of them rushed down Rechov Pines, made a right turn on Rechov Malchei Yisrael, and headed into the tiny streets of Meah Shearim toward the Stoliner shul.

The shul was packed with hundreds of people who had already gathered to sing and bask in the Rebbe’s presence. The gentleman now detached himself from the two boys, shouldered his way through the crowd, found some room for himself in the back of the synagogue and stood there unobtrusively observing the scene.

My uncle, a fervent Stoliner chassid for decades, had come that week to Jerusalem to be with his Rebbe. He, too, was at the tish and was sitting close to the front. As he looked around the synagogue he searched for faces that were not among the “regulars.” It was then that he noticed the wealthy man in the back.

My uncle, aside from being a devout chassid of the Rebbe, is the founder and fundraiser of the Stoliner Yeshivah in Bnei Brak. Before Shabbos the Rebbe had told him that he must not leave Jerusalem before raising twenty-five thousand dollars for the benefit of the yeshivah, because the melamdim (teachers) were owed a great deal of back pay. Therefore, when my uncle saw the wealthy gentleman, he figured that he might be a good man to talk to.

Throughout the evening my uncle kept an eye on the man in the back of the shul. When he realized that the tish was about to end, he made his way towards him. My uncle, a jovial and robust individual, extended his hand and, with the broadest of smiles, said, “Gut Shabbos, Reb Yid. Welcome to Stolin. I believe I recognize you.”

My uncle knew quite well that this man had a reputation of being a philanthropist who supported many Jewish causes. He was hoping he could get him involved with his own cause.

The man looked at my uncle and replied, “Gut Shabbos. I believe I recognize you too.”

The two men spoke for a while and then my uncle asked, “Where are you staying, and how long will you be here in town?”

I’m staying at the Central and I’m leaving on Tuesday,” came the reply.

“May I bring some of my friends to you tomorrow night at the Central, and we will make a little Melaveh Malkah (festive meal held Saturday night)? We’ll sing a little, dance a little, tell some stories, have some good food. It will be beautiful.”

The philanthropist understood quite well what my uncle’s intention was, but still he smiled and said, “Fine. Come with your friends tomorrow night.”

The next evening, a little while after Shabbos ended, my uncle and three of his friends went to the Central Hotel and up to the gentleman’s room. They knocked on the door and waited, pacing back and forth as they worried that perhaps the gentleman had forgotten about the Melaveh Malkah or that something else had came up. After a few moments, however, the gentleman came to the door and invited them in.

For more than two hours they sang, told stories and relished the ambience of the evening. Finally the gentleman turned to my uncle and said, “Ackerman, what do you want from me? I know you didn’t just come here to sing and dance.”

My uncle smiled sheepishly and said, “You know something? You are so right. I didn’t just come to sing and dance. I came for a very important reason.” He then went on to explain the financial plight of the Stoliner Yeshivah and how, because of the economic hardships in Israel, the yeshivah was almost totally dependent on support from friends in America. “I need your help,” my uncle said seriously. “The Rebbe told me that I must raise twenty-five thousand dollars.”

Everyone in the room was quiet. The gentleman was deep in thought, his eyes closed as he reflected on the words my uncle had just spoken. “I’ll tell you what, Ackerman,” he said. “I’ll give you a donation now, and if you raise ten thousand dollars by tomorrow night, I will match it and give you another ten!”

My uncle and his friends could not believe their ears. It had never occurred to them that the gentleman would make such a gracious offer. They shook hands on the “deal” and a few moments later my uncle left the hotel to begin his efforts to raise the ten thousand dollars.

For much of the night and all of the next day my uncle ran from person to person, telling them that he had a golden opportunity to relieve Stoliner Yeshivah of a good deal of its financial burden if only they would help him. He collected cash, personal checks, money orders and traveler’s checks. He hardly rested for a moment, and by Sunday evening he was close to his goal.

Late Sunday night he made his way to the Central Hotel, went directly to the gentleman’s room and began piling all the money he raised on the table. They counted it, and sure enough – my uncle had met the goal! He had raised ten thousand dollars! The philanthropist promptly took out his checkbook and wrote a check to the Stoliner Yeshivah for ten thousand dollars. My uncle simply could not believe what was happening. For the first time in many years he was speechless.

As he began to thank the gentleman profusely for what he had just done, the gentleman said, “Aren’t you wondering why I did this?”

“Wondering?” my uncle blurted out. “To me this is a miracle. It’s like man min hashamayim (the food that fell miraculously from Heaven for the Jews in the desert.)”

“Sit down,” the gentleman said. “Let me tell you a story and then you will understand.”

********************************

“It was twenty-five years ago.” The gentleman began, “on the afternoon of my wedding day. I was so poor that my parents could not even afford to buy me a hat to wear to my chuppah. I lived in Williamsburg (an Orthdox neighborhood in Brooklyn, New York) at the time, so I walked to Broadway where there was a famous Jewish hat store. I went in and told the owner, “I’m getting married tonight, but my parents are poverty stricken and can’t afford to buy me a hat. Could you please do me a favor and give me a hat? I promise you that tomorrow morning I will come in and pay you with some of the money that I hope to get tonight as wedding presents.”

“The man behind the counter looked me over and then answered, ‘You look like an honest yeshivah bachur (student). I’ll give you the hat.’

“I was so happy and grateful to him, “continued the gentleman. “I walked outside and a few stores down was a liquor store, also owned by a Jewish man. I knew very well that my parents couldn’t afford any liquor for the wedding, so I went in and said to the man behind the counter, ‘I’m getting married tonight and my parents do not have money to buy any liquor. Would you be so kind as to give me a few bottles for the wedding? I promise that tomorrow morning I will come in and pay you from the money that I hope to get as wedding gifts.’

Here, too, the man looked me over and said the same thing the fellow in the hat store has said. ‘You look like an honest yeshivah bachur, I’ll give you the liquor.’

“He gave me the liquor and I walked out of the store with the hat in my right hand and the liquor in my left. I felt like a million dollars. I was ecstatic. I took just a few steps outside the store and there you were, Mr. Ackerman.

[My uncle, R’ Yehuda Ackerman, was known at the time as the most extraordinary dancer at Jewish weddings. Whenever he made his way into the middle of the circle where everyone was dancing, He became the focal point of frolic around which everything centered. Everyone in the hall would stop whatever they were doing just to watch him perform for the chassan and kallah. His body movements were elegant; his balancing acts; entertaining; his radiant smile ebullient, and his body’s comical coordination with the music the band was playing was incredible and legendary. Somehow he managed to become the physical embodiment of the musical notes emanating from the violin, clarinet and cordovox, which were popular at the time.]

“I saw,” the gentleman said, “that Hashem was so good to me in helping me get the hat and the liquor, so I figured that I would take my chances just one more time. I walked over to you and said, ‘Mr. Ackerman, I know you don’t know who I am, but I am getting married tonight. Would you mind coming to dance at my wedding?’

“You said that you couldn’t promise anything, but you took down my name and the name and address of the wedding hall. And that night, right in the middle of the wedding, you came running into the center of the circle where everyone was dancing and you danced so magnificently. The people loved it! You made everyone so happy and you helped make it the greatest night of my life. When it was over that evening, I swore to myself that someday I would repay you.”

Now, transversing all the years in between, the gentleman concluded. “Last night, when I saw you at the Stoliner Rebbe’s tish, I suddenly remembered what I had said to myself back then on my wedding night. I realized that now was the time to pay you back. That’s why I gave you the money.”

My uncle sat there astounded. He hasn’t remembered the wedding. He hadn’t remembered the wedding from so long ago, but he would never forget this Shabbos night in Jerusalem.

The story, however, did not end there. The next time my uncle was in the city where this generous gentleman lived, he heard that the man’s son was getting married. He waited until the middle of the wedding and then as he had done so many years earlier, he ran into the center of the circle where everyone was dancing, and he danced as he had, all those years before.

And as he did, he turned and saw the gentleman standing off on the side with a great smile across his face, and tears rolling down his cheeks. He ran over to the man and, as they embraced, the man said to my uncle, “How can I ever thank you? You’ve made me relive the greatest night of my life.”

The Gemara (Yoma 9b) teaches that the Second Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of sinas chinam, uncalled-for and unreasonable hatred. Here, though, was an instance of poignant ahavas chinam, a talented individual dancing at the wedding of a young man whom he didn’t even know and never thought he would see again only because there was love…love of one Jew for another with no motive or incentive other than that they were both Jewish. May we all learn from this incredible story and merit together to see the building of the Third Beis HaMikdash.

Reproduced from “Footsteps of the Maggid,” by Rabbi Paysach Krohn, with permission of the copyright holders, ArtScroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

Devastating! the destruction of the world occurred. The water was chosen to be the weapon of mass destruction; it rose and wiped out civilization. The only survivors in this extinction was a mere wooden ark navigated by the lone tzadic of his generation, Noach. Many are puzzled by the story of Noach. Strangely, Noach and his family – a mere crew of eight – spent virtually every hour of every day for over a year tending to the needs of tens of thousands of animals, each and every one according to its own schedule and diet. This unparalleled selfless kindness was the spiritual lifeblood of the ark. And if but once in the hundreds of thousands of feedings and cleanups, Noach would be tardy, the results could be devastating. Indeed, the lion lashed out when Noach was once late, rendering him maimed for life.

Why was Noach and his family subjugated to such abnormal servitude? Furthermore, why did the destruction have to come through water? Also, why was the devastation so widespread, everything and everybody was wiped out? Strange, it seemed like nothing was spared but the ark and its inhabitants.

Rabbi Baruch Dopelt brings an interesting parallel from the commentary the Bet HaLevi:

There was a king who decided to habitat the palace with commoners as a sign of kindness and good will. He gathered an assortment of deaf mutes and very low intelligent people to reside in his castle. After a short time, these individuals, in their own way, showed a tremendous amount of gratitude to the King for the hospitality. At every opportunity they would screech or clap their hands awkwardly with a happy grin to show their appreciation.

The King thought if these deaf mutes and assortments show such affection, I’m sure highly intelligent-cream of the crop would greatly show appreciation to the highest degree. So he replaced the commoners with smart people.

As time passed, though, these smart people began to rebel against the King and forced him out of the palace.

The smart society underestimated the power of the king. He easily regained power and kicked out all the intelligent derelicts and replaced them with the commoners.

The waters occupied the world before the creation of man. We read in the Friday evening Shabbat prayers (MIZMOR SHIR LE’YOM HASHABBAT) MIKOLOT MAYIM RABIM-the voice, singing, praise of the waters is great. They exalted G-d in a tremendous way. G-d said if the waters can praise me and show such affection to such an extent, can one imagine what an intelligent being like man can do? So in essence the waters response initiated the creation of man. The upper and lower waters that were united were then separated to inhabit man on dry land.

However, man rebelled and sinned against G-d proclaiming “there is no room for G-d in our lives”. G-d then brought back the commoners – the waters. This was the entity that appreciated G-d the way it should have been. The waters went back to their original territory which was encompassing the entire globe and destroyed mankind. What remained was Noach and the selected few.

Why destroy the world?

The Torah hints through the scriptures that man had such an influence on nature whether during Noach’s time or even now. We learn that the animals, during that generation, behaved in a degenerate way like the humans. The animals were cross breeding with other animals similarly like man’ decadent lifestyle. For this reason the animals had to be destroyed along with mankind. So it seems man can influence in a drastic level; he can bring an abundance of goodness to the world as well as evil. Instead of emulating G-d and showing kindness to their fellow man, they did the opposite. Stealing and the anti-unity was the trend.

The ark was a place where the actions of mankind had to rectified. It was to show extreme behavior the other way. The couples in the ark had to abstain from physical contact in contrast to “everything permissible” attitude they had been accustomed to before.

Man’s interpersonal relationships was deeply degenerated before the flood. Concerns for others was not tolerated; every man for himself. Life in the ark, though, was different; Noach and his children had to perform the ultimate kindness to the lower form of creation, the animals. This act was extreme!! nevertheless the cleansing process had to be performed.

“Olam chesed yibaneh” – the world will be built upon chesed-kindness. There is no reason why this had to be. G-d could have chosen one of His other characteristics, and spun a world revolving around it. He chose chesed because it is closest to His Will. Similarly, when we are instructed to imitate His character (as fulfillment of the imperative “You shall walk in His ways”), the Sages limit this obligation to the character of chesed, but none other. It is through chesed alone that we attach ourselves to Him.

The rare coin that changed the life of many.

September 22, 2014 admin Uncategorized No comments

excerpts from a story heard by Rabbi Noach Isaac Oelbaum and Rabbi Yossi Bilus

How nice and relieved it would probably feel when someone is to receive a large sum of money, sorely needed, from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to pay some of the bills and then have a little extra for ones personal needs.

Similar was the path, the structure of the Jewelry business of my lot when I was there. I would struggle for months and then, one day, there was that big sale where then it would put a smile on my face and relieve my anxieties for at least six months.
Such was the case with this struggling individual who was showered by the heavens with one rare coin. This bracha would sustain him and his family for a good couple of years. However, one has to be smart and wait for the right buyer. The person has to receive the maximum amount when an opportunity like such strikes.
It was unthinkable to trust in the banking system and safe deposit boxes were rare in those days. The home, man’s castle, is where he would keep his valuables. However, as one is familiar there is a downside to keeping expensive assets at home.
The individual decided to keep the expensive coin in the master bedroom closet high up in one of the secret compartments out of the reach of his young children. However, as we all know the painful lesson a child has a long reach. They go on these explorations and find things in your house that parents didn’t know existed.
One day the man’s five year old boy found the coin and decided to go to the neighborhood makolet (grocery store) and splurge on some of his favorite candy. His mother was curious how he got all those sweets but it wasn’t until his father came home and realized that the closet was tampered with, then he knew where the candy came from.

The father marched with his five year old down to the makolet and demanded from the store owner that he return the coin. The store owner went into his register and took out the coin presumably that the boy gave. However, that was not the expensive rare coin!!!
The father explained that his son gave the store owner a rare coin and not what the makolet keeper gave back and he must give it back!! By now the argument was being heard from outside the busy street and people were gathering by the store. The store owner reiterated again the boy did not give him the coin. The father said “I want you to swear in front of Bet Din”(Jewish court system). “No problem” said the store owner.

The owner indeed swore in front of Bet Din and the matter was supposedly resolved. The father struggled for the next few years financially but managed with the minimal amount. The store owner, even though was exonerated by Bet Din, lost a great amount of patronage for they always associated him with taking the coin. Not only did the owner have to close up shop due to the bad reputation of the coin incident, he also had difficulty marrying off his children. Eventually, he was forced to relocate his family to another city.

Twenty five years later the father now old and debilitated received an envelope with no return address. In it was a rare coin similar to the one the father owned twenty five years ago. In the envelope along with the coin was a note of apology. The letter stated:

“Twenty five years ago I bumped into your son on the way to the store. Your son was flashing this expensive rare coin and it fell to the ground. The temptation was to great; I picked up the coin switching it with a regular similar size coin. My family was in a desperate financial situation and we were down on our luck. I moved to a different town, sold the coin and with the money eventually got on my feet. I owe you an apology for all the trouble I might have caused. Please, forgive me”.

The question Rabbi Noach Isaac Oelbaum poses is how will the heavens judge the parties who were involved in this story. Obviously, the poor store owner is the anointed victim. The father, considering the tremendous financial loss he was about to encounter and the disappointment of the potential gains, perhaps might have handled the situation a bit more low key. The person, who actually switched/stole the coin would, most likely, be judged severely.

However, there is another party who has to be judged negatively and that is the patrons of the store and people of the town who had no connection to the case but got involved anyway. They spread negative assumptions about the store owner and for the most part caused him and his family unwarranted grief.

The lesson to be learned as we enter the threshold of Yom Kippur and we ask forgiveness from our brethren, is not to judge our fellow when we have no authority to do so. We should not get involved in business that doesn’t pertain to us.

Yom Kippur is a time to ask forgiveness from G-d as well as our fellow brethren. It’s a time that we have to look at our relationships in a very sensitive manner and hold back our unwarranted opinion.

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