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Money makes the world go round

July 3, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Akiva Grunblatt Rosh Yeshiva Yeshivat Chaffetz Chaim, Yissachar frand

There is an age-old question that has been haunting us Jews forever: Why do tzadikim have to go through hardship in this world? Why doesn’t G-d give a ‘special tzadikim credit card’ to spend on things such as yeshiva tuition, preparing for Shabbat, etc.? The financial pressures are tremendous. Many can’t meet these expectations, often saying, “Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so”. Perhaps for this reason, people turn for help. It’s interesting how many people become observant due to challenges that they’ve experienced in life. Why is it human nature to turn to G-d when going through troublesome times? We rarely see a “rags to riches” guy turn to G-d. The story always mimics the following pattern: A boy from a poor family starts a business or gets an education, working hard to climb the ladder of success. There never seems to be a religion attached to the story. He’s not learning Gemara as he climbing up the ladder of success. Furthermore the “success story individual”, for the most part, flirts with the notion of rebelling against G-d, arrogantly claiming that religion is a nice concept but very remote to his high end lifestyle. “I’ll contact a Rabbi for the bar mitzvah of my children; but the buck stops there!”

It is known that high-end lottery winners often ruin their lives as a result of amassing a large amount of money in such a short period of time. On a similar note, our Sages say that there is a pattern in our scriptures as to how some Jews and non-Jews handle success. G-d gave abundance of wealth to Avraham, who personifies the rags to riches story. In turn, Moshe and Chizkiyahu approached life with modesty and appreciation. However, they were a part of the precious few. For the most part, man doesn’t handle wealth very well. Examples are given of famous Gentiles like Nimrod, and Pharaohs who have taken the gift and, seemingly shoved it in G-d’s face.

Money makes the world go round…..

In this week’s parsha we read about a Korach, a unique Jewish individual from a prominent family who was considered the richest man of his generation. He was accumulated a lot of wealth from the booty left on the shores of the sea after the waters went back from the miracle of splitting the sea. At times, money leads to power. However, Korach was frustrated that he wasn’t able to achieve that status even with all his accumulated wealth. His wealth brought him arrogance, where he thought he deserved the world and a backbone to complain and rebel.
Wealth is seductive and tends to bring out the conceit in human nature. The Chovot Halevavot, in The Gate of Humility, one of the major works in the literary Jewish world, tells us that wealth is a greater test than poverty.

Our Sages comment on the verse “And behold, a ladder was standing on the ground, and its top reached the Heavens” [Bereshis 28:12] referring to the famous dream our forefather Yaakov had. It was a significant prophetic message to Yaakov’s descendants. In the dream, there were angels going up the ladder and there were angels going down the ladder. G-d showed Yaakov two individuals: Korach (who was swallowed up by the ground) and Moshe (who ascended up to the Heaven).

…..world go round

Why are Korach and Moshe hinted to by the ladder? There is a very interesting Ba’al HaTurim (commentary on the Torah) referring to that famous verse. The Ba’al HaTurim says that the numerical [“Gematria”] value of the word ladder (samech-vov-lamed-mem) [60+6+30+40=136] is equal to the numerical value of the word money (mem-mem-vov-nun) [40+40+6+50=136], and it is also equal to the numerical value of the word poverty (ayin-vov-nun-yud) [70+6+50+10=136].

A ladder can be used as a parable for money. Just as a ladder can be used to climb to great heights or descend to the depths, so is the case with money. A person can be blessed with money, do the right things with money, and go up the ladder. On the other hand, money corrupts. Money can be a terribly destructive force.

……world go round

There is no coincidence of the timing of Yaacov’s dream. Soon after he met his father in law, the wicket Lavan, who had a plan. By having Yaakov work for fourteen years for his wives, and by subsequently promising him wealth and continually changing his compensation, Lavan hoped his ultra-orthodox son-in-law would trade the soul for the silver spoon. That his mind would become so preoccupied with making a living that he’d forget his desire for the spiritual, his taste for the refined having been congested and clogged by the crude trappings of material success.

The Aramaean tried to destroy my desire. The word avi – my father – can also mean ‘my desire.’ The Lavan’s of the world are always there to seduce us with their promises of wealth, fame, and happiness. “All it takes is hard work,” they say. And maybe they really will make us rich – but at what price?

Many people have the custom, on Motzaei Shabbat [Saturday night], to sing a beautiful Pizmon [poem] which begins with the words “HaMavdil bein Kodesh L’chol, chatoteinu Hu yimchol” — He who distinguishes between that which is holy and that which is not holy, He will forgive our sins. These are beautiful words. Interestingly, the words can be quite appalling. The poem says that we sin because we do not appreciate the difference between that which is Sacred and that which is mundane. We spend our time and efforts on foolishness. We do not know what is Kodesh and what is Chol. We ask G-d, Who has the ability to distinguish between Kodesh and Chol, to please forgive our sins.
(The Lubliner Rav, Rav Meir Shapiro, once said about American Jews that they know how to make Kiddush, but they don’t know how to make Havdalah. In other words, they put the wrong emphasis on things. That which is holy, they treat lightly, and that which is really unessential, they make holy. They do not know how to differentiate.)

………..Money Money Money Money

What is the next line of the Pizmon? “zareinu v’chaspeinu yarbeh k’chol,” which means: “May our children and our money increase like the sand.” This, in and of itself — the lumping of children and money in the same breath — would be difficult to comprehend. But, moreover, we just finished saying that we are inadequate for not being able to distinguish between Holy and mundane, and now we go ahead and make the same mistake all over again — equating that which is Holy (children) with that which is mundane (money)!

In the beginning of laws of Chanukah [3:1], The Ramba”m says, “In the time of the Second Temple, the Greek Government made decrees against Israel and tried to abolish their religion. They did not permit them to learn Torah or perform the mitzvos, and they sent forth their hands against their property and their daughters.”

Let us consider this list: They nullified our religion, they did not let us learn, they did not permit us do mitzvot, they took away our daughters, and they took away… our money. Money may be important, but should it be listed in the same breath with the others? Should the Ramba”m be equating taking our money with taking our daughters (and not only that, but the Ramba”m mentions money first!)?
How are we to understand this statement of the Ramba”m?

Rabbi Yissachar Frand quotas Rav Shimon Schwab who offers a beautiful insight, both in the Ramba”m and in the Pizmon. Rav Schwab says that what the Ramba”m means by saying the Greeks took away our money and our daughters, is that the Greeks knew how to destroy us. If we are to succeed with our children and with our religion, we need money. In order to have Yeshivot, shuls, a community, one needs money. Money is a wonderful thing. Let’s not kid ourselves. We can do tremendous things with money. We cannot exist without money.

But money corrupts, sometimes… most of the time. However, money, in and of itself, can be the greatest tool that there is. Our Sages say that when G-d showed Moshe our leader, who guided us out of Egypt, a Half-Shekel coin, He showed Moshe a ‘coin of fire.’ The reason is because that is what money is. Money can be terribly destructive, like a fire. But where would we be without fire? No heat, no light, nothing.

Money is the same way. If one handles it right, it can save him. If one handles it wrong, it can destroy him.

This, the Ramba”m says, is what the Greeks understood. When they wanted to take out the foundations of the Jewish people, they sent forth their hands against their money and their daughters. Take away their money. Don’t let them have Yeshivas, don’t let them have Torah educators. That is how the Jewish People will be destroyed. The Ramba”m has his priorities very straight. The Greeks knew how to wage a war.

Rav Schwab says that this too, is what we say on Motzaei Shabbot: If we want to be successful with our children, then we also need ‘our money (to) increase like sand.’

Imagine! Money like sand, unlimited funds! Consider what that would mean. We could pay educators, instead of their current low rate salary, more sponsors for “Cup of Coffee weekly periodicals — one-half, one-third, or one-quarter of what the lawyers and the doctors are earning – an amount that they truly deserve.

Imagine if we could pay our teachers top dollar. What would the face of Torah education in America look like if we had unlimited resources and could pay top dollar? What would be if we could drop the class ratio from one teacher per 25 kids, to one teacher per 15 kids?

What about the children that need extra help? For those children, we could even have one teacher for every two children. It wouldn’t matter if that would require an extra salary! We could do amazing things. The Jewish People would be a different Jewish People if our children and our money were ‘increased like the sand.’

That is the prayer. We know what is holy and sacred and we know what is mundane and profane… and we know what money can do. We can do the right things with money. We can change the Jewish People with money. We pray that we have ‘children and money like sand’ to accomplish wonderful things for the Jewish people.

However lets not forget the pitfalls of money and how the Sages equate it to quicksand. If one has a hundred he wants two hundred. Lets not forget what our wise Sages said about it being the bigger test between rich and poor. For this reason the tzadikim go through hardship because there would be much less of them if they had the excess money.G-d is doing them a favor!!

Rav Yehuda Hanasi, who was the aurther of the prestigious Mishna, who also happened to be one of the riches man of his generation, always gave wealthy Jews the utmost respect. He said if one is wealthy and he still follows the Torah to the letter of the law, therefore not succumbing to temptation and arrogance then I tip my hat to them. They have passed a tremendous test and will have a special place in the heavens.

Pursuit of honor

July 3, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Chaim Shmuelevitz z’l, Yissachar frand, Dr. Abba Goldman

Our sages teach us, there are certain character flaws which one possesses that are so destructive, so devastating, ‘it could take you out of this world’. In other words, one can be thrown off course and lose any line of reasoning, any happiness, and any satisfaction, because of this deficiency.

As one is well aware of, the Sages are very careful, perhaps that’s an understatement, of usage of words. We have to think many times over why they employed, so brilliantly, a word or a phrase when a statement was made.

The Sages use the word ‘RODEF KAVOD’- pursuit of honor; RODEF implies a very harsh and intense connotation. The reason why the use of RODEF is associated with KAVOD is once a person is enticed, naturally, even the biggest tzaddik, the most intellectual, can pursue it with a vigor. At times, the drive for honor, will reach a level to such an extent that he will be looked at in the eyes of others, with his arrogant statements, as a buffoon. Though, at times, with the power of persuasion his blinded pursuit of honor can be dangerous.

Perhaps, now we might be able to explain the difficulties of Parshas Sh’lach as to how to understand the sin of the Spies. One must bear in mind that the individuals about whom we are speaking were righteous people. Answering the question of what happened to them? Why did they come back with such a negative report? We know from Sages that it was not just a “negative” report. It was a report that bordered on heresy. The Rabbis interpret the statement “ki chazak hu mimenu” [“they are stronger than us”] to have the nuance that “they are stronger than Him”. They doubted the ability of the Almighty to successfully take them into Eretz Yisrael. After all they witnessed, this statement certainly borders on heresy if not being heresy itself!

What happened to the Spies? The Zohar addresses this problem and states that the motivating factor that led the Spies to this debacle was a matter of ‘Kavod’ [honor seeking]. At this point in time, these people all occupied positions of prominence in the Wilderness. They were afraid that when the Jewish people came into the Land of Israel, there would be a new administration, a new world order, and as a result, they would lose their positions of prominence.

They lost their objectivity. They had their own agenda. Their agenda was to NOT go into Eretz Yisrael and not to lose the prestige and importance that they had maintained in the society of the Wilderness. This agenda warped and perverted their whole view of Eretz Yisrael and of the Almighty’s ability, to the extent that they said things that bordered on heresy itself.

Another prime example of seeking honor is the wicked Haman who presumably had everything and yet felt he had nothing. Here is a man who was second in command to the king of the most powerful nation in the world and worshiped by all subjects of the vast super power – Persian Empire; however, he was not satisfied with everything because one Jew, Mordechai, would not bow down to him. How could it be that Haman even noticed the lack of this minuscule amount of honor amidst the overwhelming flood of glory that was his? Perhaps, if not for the dangerous predicament our ancestors were in, the way he conducted himself through his obsession would have been observed as quite humorous.

Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l explains that one is never able to achieve satisfaction through honor. As much honor as you will receive, you will find yet more that you must have, and so your craving will never be satisfied. It’s like a cat chasing after his own tail.

A great insight by Dr. Abba Goldman who says” the pursuit of honor develops because of one’s insecurities. Therefore, he compensates by enforcing his authority upon others, not believing that he will receive honor naturally”.

Mordechai saw right through Haman and Haman knew it. Haman realized Mordechai didn’t think much of him and it bothered him to no end.

Our sages write, “Those who chase honor, honor will run away from them”. Rabbi Akiva Tatz teaches us an important lesson in human insights. He says, “As man gets older, his desire for physical pleasures for women decreases. However, as compensation, there is an increased desire for honor”.

HOW TO DETERMINE YOU HAVE THE “PURSUIT OF HONOR” BUG

Everyone, in the general public, thinks they are humble and this article cannot be talking about them. It perfectly describes their wives, husbands, friends, teachers, Rabbis. Perhaps, they’re correct in their assessment. However, there are many interesting methods and perhaps, here is an interesting one to determine if one’s drive toward ego is such. Mind you, there has to be some degree of honor that a person needs, however, one has to gauge that he should not exceed the required amount. So what is the Litmus test?

Please listen to this interesting observation. Falling asleep, at times, can be difficult. There are those who the minute they place their head on the pillow – they’re sleeping. Others, though who are not so fortunate, start to unwind, at times, forty minutes later? During that waiting grace, many have developed methods of how to fall asleep. One very popular method is to envision pleasant thoughts or being in a nice relaxing environment.

For instance, I envision lying on a hammock by a pond, between mountains where there is a waterfall in the background. That usually does the trick. Another nice thought, is sitting on the bridge, on the USS Star ship Enterprise cruising at warp speed. The galaxy never looked nicer.

However, one can sound the alarm of “honor” when this soothing thought, more or less, is his lullaby. The scenario, often repeated, is being at the podium, giving an exhilarating speech in front of a banquet of well-wishers who are applauding your every breath. Then you break out into a song that brings the crowd to a standing ovation. Everyone is impressed.

We all, in our adolescent, have acted out in our room, in front of the mirror, pretending taking the last shot at the buzzer at the basketball game or hitting the game, winning home run in the seventh game of the World Series. However, if these dreams of glory linger into our adult life it can lead to negative results and disappointments.

Dr Goldman says: “G-d gave each one of us special powers. Yes, it’s okay sometimes to dream; in fact it’s healthy. However, one cannot take it to the level of RODEF. G-d wants us to be ourselves. He wants us to be the best version of ourselves and that means being modest in our actions. An example given of one with a good voice is asked to pray as a chazzan. He should not think that he is deserving of great honor because he can sing so beautifully. The ability to sing is a gift from G-d and that is true of all the human abilities that a person may possess. We are charged to use the gifts G-d gives us appropriately in His service. By acting with too much pride one is insulting his very essence.

It’s funny; RODEF is a human trait that can be used in an extreme way. The commandment in the passuk [verse] to pursue justice is stated in Devarim Tzedek, Tzedek tirdof. (Literally, “Justice, Justice shall you pursue.”) Also, we find a parallel usage: “Seek out peace, and pursue it.” (Bakesh shalom, v’radfehu.) [Tehillim 34:15]. One can use this powerful energy, for justice and peace, in a positive direction.

One has to know the dangers of the unconscious pursuit of honor. The spies fell prey to it, Haman ruined his life and the life of others for that desire, and it’s frightening, because to some degree we are all prone to get tested by it at some time.

Fighting Depression!!!

June 4, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Akiva Grunblatt, Yissachar Frand, Yitzchak Ruben, Aron Tendler Dr. Abba Goldman, Mrs. Sarah Esther Crisp

I would like to discuss something so prevalent, so vital, that it has affected our communities, in the most devastating way, Depression. Unfortunately, it’s quite common perhaps because of the high expectation that we have to live by. Keeping up with the Jones and the Schwartz’s can be quite challenging and therefore our responsibilities and commitments assume humongous proportions as we flounder in a sea of questions, misery and pain. Often there is the feeling that life isn’t worth living.

Furthermore, as a generation, we have become very psychologically sophisticated. Terms such as: psychotic, neurotic, depressed, suicidal, anxious, and Freudian color our expressions lending them distinct meanings. Prozac, Zoloft and more Psycho pills are filling our cabinets, glove compartments and making my pharmaceutical salesperson – friend rich, Yes, I know you’re reading this. This is what this country has become.

This is probably the most ideal time to present this important subject matter considering the upcoming parshiot which we will be reading in the next few months indicate depression in the air.

The Karliner Rebbe (1740-1792) was one to say, “Depression is not a sin – but the sins depression brings about are greater than any sin on its own.” When the fog of depression falls over one’s heart, all growth in is in jeopardy!!!

It should be noted that the prime directive which the Torah emphasizes is spiritual growth which is brought upon through positive energy.

Depression infuses a lack of hope; it instills a lack of belief in oneself; it’s debilitating and at times can lead to the most devastating unforgiving acts possible.

For two months during the summer, we read parsha after parsha that relates troubling episodes about the attitudes and behavior of our ancestors in the Wilderness.

Beha’aloscha, Shelach, Korach, Chukat, Balak, Pinchas, and Mattot-Massei contain incident after incident in which the pioneers of our nation acted in a manner unbecoming of the “Dor Deah” [“Generation of Knowledge”] which they were supposed to represent. In these parshiyot, the Torah describes sin following sin, complaint following complaint, rebellion following rebellion. “If this can happen to the generation that received the Torah at Sinai, what hope is there for us?”

The Torah tries to ease the sting by placing unusual upside down appearance of two letter ‘Nun’s which bracket the pasukim [verses] “When the Ark would journey, Moshe said ‘Arise, Hashem, and let Your enemies be scattered and let those who hate You flee from before You.’ And when it rested, he would say, ‘Reside tranquilly G-d among the myriads and thousands of Israel.'” [Bamdibar 10:35-36].

The reason why it was placed here was to put separation between the “first account of punishment” and the “second account of punishment” (to relieve the gloomy impact of an otherwise unbroken narration of one punishment after another, which is depressing) [Shabbat 115b].

I heard a profound insight by Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt – the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Chaffetz Chaim, which, I believe, you, the reader can either be the recipient or the one suggesting the profound knucklehead statement.

The Rabbi’s father – Rabbi Joseph Grunblatt z’l was the Rabbi of the Queens Jewish Center – a large community in Forest Hills which consisted of many Jews from various backgrounds.

Please listen to this and ask yourself if this sounds familiar. Many years ago, Rabbi Akiva was having a conversation, with an individual apparently not as observant then him. The conversation centered on movies. The individual excitingly suggested some of the “must films” to see. However, he back tracked on some of the suggestions stating “I really loved that movie but you can’t see it…that one it’s not for you”. In other words what he was implying is, I can see it because I’m a lost cause; I’m done already, therefore there are two set of rules; I’ve done so many bad averot (sins) that there is no hope for me, but you, you’re still okay with the Creator. As a matter of fact it would be, to a large extent, at this juncture of my life, chutzpah for me to ask forgiveness from G-d. So I’ll just drag my feet in the mud, live in my cesspool and watch the movies for I’m not worthy.

We see from this individual and from the Israelites in these parshiot that they pursued the “pleasures of life”. But what paved the way was “a no hope, I’m doomed anyway” feeling.

One has to realize a fundamental and very important aspect of Judaism that many overlook, which we learn from the onset of learning the ABC of Torah!!! When we received the Torah attached to the intro is the statement ASHER HOTZEHTI ETCHEM M’ERETZ MITZRAIM – which I took you out from the land of Egypt. Apparently, that the Jews – our ancestors were in such a condition that they were the lowest spiritual level ever. They were in the 49th level – one above the last 50th which would deem them lost forever, and yet G-d forgave and redeemed them, elevating them to a nation status. The gravity of the statement is implying one can always return!!! As a matter of fact it is saying it, purposely, right in the introduction. One can read between the lines and understand as long as one’s alive he can’t give up on himself; the door is always open.

G-d provides us with an open window to come back which is in contrast to the “no hope depression” feeling that one at times develops. Perhaps, there is another dimension to G-d being labeled our Father. HE is the irrefutable, beyond compare role model for all parents for He exercises patience to the highest degree.

Our forefather, Avraham, was known for his hospitality. Once, an 86 year old traveling man was an unexpected invited guest staying for Shabbat. After encouragement to say the Grace after meal – acknowledging G-d – was refused by the old man. Avraham, frustrated, after the third meal, asked the man to leave. That night G-d appeared to Avraham and asked him “how was your day and tell me all about the guest that came over Shabbat”. Avraham went through the list and then mentioned that he asked the old man to leave after he was unappreciative and refused to acknowledge where the food really came from. G-d answered Him “Avraham, I waited 86 years for him to acknowledge, you couldn’t wait a weekend?” Immediately, Avraham went to fetch the old man and pleaded to return.

We learn from an old pro on how to fight depression and how one can one take out the heavy feeling from his heart?

The valuable lesson comes from King David and his masterpiece work -Tehillim. In the onset of Tehilim, it tells how King David approached teshuva-repentance and depression, and how we can learn, in practical terms, the art of repentance from him and how to come back. As we come to the third psalm, imagine for a moment King David’s situation. There are hardships, and there are hardships. The author of Tehillim can tell us a thing or two about such matters. We see King David being pursued by his own son, who wants to dethrone him. Worse, the majority of the populace supports the coup. Most depressing of all, much of this is due to David’s own mistakes.

Things couldn’t seem any darker. Yet we find him lifting up his voice to G-d with great poignancy. He starts his prayer with the words, “A song by David”. A song always expresses joy. With these first words of the psalm, we can begin to understand how he could not only survive such a shock but also grow from it.

Rav Shlomo Freifeld, zt”l, was an expert in giving encouragement to people in despair. One of his favorite lines was “Don’t be strong. Be great.” When life throws one of its curves at you, you can be strong, biting your tongue and bearing it stoically. That may get you through the hardship, but you haven’t gained anything other than a sore tongue. On the other hand, if you choose to accept what was sent your way and work through it, if you stretch every sinew of your soul to learn from the adversity, you can achieve greatness.

David cries out in pain, “How numerous are my tormentors! The great rise up against me!” His ache is palpable, and still he sings because his faith in G-d gives him the courage to turn adversity into a learning experience.

The fundamental root of turning adversity into a learning experience is found in the beginning of Bereshit. . . . and darkness was on the face of the deep. . . And G-d said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. G-d saw that the light was good, so G-d separated the light from the darkness. . . And it was evening, and it was morning, one day.” (Bereshit 1:1-5)

From this seminal passage we see that darkness proceeded light. In order for light to exist, it had to be created. It didn’t exist on its own. The adversity (darkness) which King David experienced was turned into a learning experience (light). And even when light was created, it was still mixed together with darkness and had to be separated from it..

One has to face life ready to accept challenges realizing that darkness and all its problems inevitably must be transformed to light – the learning experience. Only then will prevention from depression take place. This is one of the first lessons we can derive from the Torah, from the darkness of Egypt G-d transformed us into a nation. If we show HIM an interest – the size of a needle, HE’LL open the gates to the palace showering us with the bracha – the size of an ocean!

Our Brave Israeli solderes protect the holy city of Tel Aviv

June 4, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Paysach krohn, Yissachar frand and survey by Boaz Davidoff

“Perception” is very important. How one sets the table determines the tone, the heartbeat of the moment. There is a very important lesson one can learn from this week’s parsha, Shlach, which our Sages try to emphasize. It comes naturally to one particular individual, my fun-loving aunt. My Aunt Tamar has a unique quality of painting a rosy picture of our home land, Israel.

She set the tone many times as she picked us up from the airport when we arrived in Israel. I’ll never forget as we were waiting at the traffic light in her car, staring at the Israeli solders guarding the area surrounding the airport, how she raved these are the best solders in the world; they protect us. Those words gave me a reassuring feeling of safety, especially after all the attacks against our people. On many occasions, she would tell my mother, ” Roza, lo ta’amini kama ha’aretz shelonu hitpate’ach”, you would not believe how our Israel has blossomed”. She was referring to the new roads, central bus station and neighborhoods that had opened up. My mother grew up in Israel in the pre-state Palestine and early statehood. My Aunt Tamar would kid with me smiling and say “maybe its not as modern and sophisticated like your America but we’re not too far behind; we have kinyons- huge shopping malls too”. If one would play some Israeli popular culture tunes as she’s talking about the cafes and restaurants it would seem like an Israeli tourist commercial. A little song and dance to go with her pitch and I’m sold. Guide me to the American neighborhoods in Israel please!!

A student of Reb Yisrael Salanter ( father of the Musar movement in Orthodox Judaism and a famed Rosh Yeshiva and Talmudist) once went to his master and told him that he was going to Eretz Yisrael, the Land of Israel. He inquired of his Rebbe what he should be careful about. Reb Yisrael told him to be careful not to transgress the prohibition of speaking Lashon HaRah [evil] about Eretz Yisrael. Just as our ancestors’ actions set patterns for us in a positive direction (ma’aseh Avot siman l’Banim), so too can they do in a negative direction. There was an action of our ancestors concerning Eretz Yisrael — the incident of the Spies. This incident implanted for all generations a tendency within us, that when a person goes to visit Eretz Yisrael he may wish to dwell on its shortcomings rather than on its tremendous attributes. Reb Yisroel therefore told the student “Be careful, and don’t stumble in the sin of the spies.”

However it is becoming a difficult task to see the positive light. With the advent of jet airplanes and overseas travel, we can, at a whim, hop on a plane and spend a few days in Eretz Yisrael [the Land of Israel]. It wasn’t always so easy. In earlier times, travelling to Israel involved a long, exhausting, and sometimes dangerous journey over land and water. In fact, to “visit” Israel at all was quite uncommon. Most people who undertook the journey did so to move there permanently. To go there for a week or ten days was unheard of.

Today, we are blessed to have such ready accessibility to our Holy Land. Sometimes, though, this blessing can be a two-edged sword. The easier it becomes to visit Israel, the more commonplace and ho-hum it becomes. Travelling to the Holy Land, which had once been seen as a holy pilgrimage and a spiritually uplifting mission which could change one’s life forever, is now weighed by potential vacationers against a trip to Florida or summer camp for the kids – “What should we do this year…” The more difficult something is, the more commitment and resolution it requires, the more meaningful it becomes. We have to be careful that in today’s global, travel-happy society, we do not lose sight of our Holy Land and its significance.

The story of the Spies and their nation which looked a gift horse in the mouth and rejected it … the one time that they should have accepted it. Just as the momentary eating from the Aitz HaDa’as Tov v’Rah-the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil-cost mankind Paradise until this day, likewise has the momentary rejection of Eretz Yisroel back at our beginning cost us 3,322 years of exile, and counting. Scary how quick decisions can be costly.

We see many examples from the Torah how important the land is and what attitude we should have towards it. A verse concerning our forefather Avraham says “And G-d said to Avraham, ‘Lift your eyes and see from the place where you are standing there. For all the land that you see, I will give to you and your children.'” [Bereshis 13:14] Before G-d showed Avraham the Land, he advised him to lift up his eyes. That is the approach that one must take when viewing the Land of Israel. It must be with ‘lifted eyes’. It requires, sometimes, an uplifted vision to see beyond the imperfections and to recognize the beauty and greatness of the Land.

Our leader Moshe went through painstaking experiences to ensure that his successor would be ready to deal with such problems.

Many of us are familiar with the teaching of our Rabbis that the letter Yud that was added to the name Hoshea came from the name of our first Matriarch. Sarah originally was called Sarai. Moshe took the Yud that was dropped from her name and gave it to Hoshea. Moshe anticipated that Yehoshua would need tremendous strength and assertiveness to stand up against the other spies in defending the Land and the plan to inhabit it. Moshe felt that because of his personality traits, Hoshea did not have the resolve necessary to stand up and fight. That is why he had to give him the new name including the letter Yud.

But still, what does the Yud from Sarai have to do with protecting Hoshea? If there was one personality in Tanach who had strength to stand up to adversity and know how to fight ill influences, that was our Matriarch Sarah. When she saw that there was a Yishmael growing up with her son Yitzchak and she saw that this person would provide the wrong type of influence for her son, she knew what type of action was necessary. She insisted, “Send this lady out of my house with her son, into the desert!” When Avraham questioned her how he could act so cruelly, G-d told him, “All that Sarai tells you, listen to her” [Bereshis 21:12]. That took a tremendous strength. But a mother knew what was right for her child. She knew that so-called compassion now would end in cruelty. What was required over here was to say emphatically, “I am sorry. I will not have my son ruined!” Yehoshua also required that. There were 10 people, great and worthy leaders. It would be necessary to stand-up to the Gedolei HaDor-people who are considered the heads of the generation, in effect. Where does one get that strength? One gets it from what Sarah our Matriarch had. Sarah was the Torah prototype when it came to standing up to the wrong crowd. The YUD represent the strength of personality that will be needed by Yehoshua.

There are many tests we encounter comparing the land of Israel and its people, our brothers, to other lands and nations of the world. Our thought and perception of Israel can be ruined by those notions. That negativity is similar to Yehoshua encountering the ten spies. We need the YUD to stand up and fight the influence, the materialistic influence for that matter, against those seductions. We need the YUD to stop those who dissuade us from visiting, because of safety reasons, or to a higher extent, make pilgrimage to the holy land.

There was a study which found Israeli citizens who were on the lower part of the income chart, needed less to live and were satisfied with what they had more then any other citizens in the world.

When the Gerrer Rebbe, zt”l, (25 December 1866 – 3 June 1948), also known as the

Imrei Emes after the works he authored, was the third Rebbe of the Hasidic dynasty of Ger, went to Eretz Yisrael before the Second World War he wrote back a letter and referred to the “holy city of Tel Aviv”. His Chassidim wondered — we would understand “the holy city of Jerusalem”; we would understand “the holy city of Hevron”; “the holy city of Tzfat” — But the “holy city of Tel Aviv”?! What is so holy about Tel Aviv?

The Gerrer Rebbe wrote back and told his Chassidim, “The only Houses of Worship in Tel Aviv are synagogues! Other cities have churches and mosques, but Tel Aviv is holy — it has only synagogues!” This is the “lift your eyes” that G-d said to Avraham — to see that Tel Aviv has its holiness and not to dwell upon the imperfections.

We see more examples how careful one should be with people associated with the land. Yaacov our forefather was afraid of Eisav because perhaps his good deeds might prevail over his. What were his good deeds? Eisav honored his parents in a tremendous way. Secondly, he lived in Israel.

The Talmud saw the Land of Israel as a supreme religious value that under certain circumstances allowed Jews to reacquire and purchase land in the Land of Israel from non-Jews even on the Shabbat. It promoted the concept of “yishuv Eretz Yisrael” – the settlement and upbuilding of the Land of Israel as a religious obligation and a supreme value in Judaism and Jewish life.

I was anxiously anticipating arriving at the old neighborhood, Floranteen, of where my grandparents lived. It has been twenty years since I visited; my grandparents have long since left this world. As I was coming nearer I could smell the scent of the sandy industrial neighborhood causing millions of memories of my childhood visits.

On one such memory, we were sitting, mom, Aunt Tamar and my grandparents, on the porch of my grandparents house, on a shabbat afternoon. where my aunt convinced me to eat a fruit; it was a peach. She said Israel has the best peaches in the world.

Today, my life style has changed. I had to give up the Haagen-Dazs /pizza diet which I was a mainstay for the past gazillion years, because of health reasons. Eating more fruits and vegetables is now a necessity. Being exposed to natures candy a lot more, I must admit, my Aunt Tamar was right. Israeli peaches are the best I have ever tasted. Perhaps the background music on the Israeli tourist commercial can stop. I’m sold on the land of Israel……HOW SWEET IT IS.

A Segula for an Eye Infection – Harmony Between Couples

June 4, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

Segula for an Eye Infection – Harmony Between Couples

An important lesson in Shalom Bayit: Rabbi Meir would always give a lecture in Shul (Bet-Hakneset) Friday afternoon. Once time, the lecture took longer than usual when this woman, who attends his lectures every week, came home. She found all the lights turned off. The husband, who was quick-tempered, asked angrily, “Where were you for so long?” “I went to hear the lecturer’s speech,” she replied. “Don’t come inside unless you spit into the lecturer’s face.”

Rabbi Meir knew of these events through the spiritual force. He, therefore, sat down in the study hall and moaned that he had pain in his eye. “Is there any wise woman who knows how to heal my eye with the well-known segula (remedy) of spitting into the eyes and uttering certain formulas?”, he asked. “Take this opportunity,” the woman was advised by friends, “then your husband will be reconciled.” When she came to the study hall to see Rabbi Meir, she felt a bit silly. However, Rabbi Meir looked like he took this segula very seriously and made it feel it was crucial for this to continue in order to attempt to heal his eye. “Spit in this eye seven times and the eye will get better”. She obeyed and he told her, “Now, go home and tell your husband you spat in the lecturer’s face, not once, but seven times”.

Rabbi Meir’s students understood the purpose of this deceit. However, they proclaimed, “You’re a Talmud chacham and even more so, a leading Torah figure. Although, there was no humiliation because your performance was par excellence and very convincing, why go through all that trouble?” In fact, the Rebbi could have summoned the husband to his private chambers and scolded him that he should treat his wife better.

He replied, “Meir’s honor is not greater than his creator. For the sake of restoring peace between husband and wife, the creator permitted His name to be eradicated in the water of the sotah. It follows, then that I must certainly disregard my dignity for the sake of peace.”

The relationship of a husband and wife can see-saw back and forth from being very fragile to very strong. People don’t realize that by getting involved and giving the wrong advice, it can have a tremendous negative effect. Some of this advice is self-centered, where marriage has to be like mine or else it won’t work, not realizing that every marriage is unique and has to be treated accordingly.

Rav Meir knew this is the approach that one has to take with this couple. Yes, Rav Meir really went out of his way. Now, we can realize the magnitude of G-d’s name being erased and how he went out of his way to restore harmony between a husband and wife.

Manipulation: dangerous or productive.

June 4, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Chaim Wagner, Dr. Abba Goldman

The great man! G-d empowered him with the ability to build or destroy the world. Man has the ability physically as well as spiritually, using the tools given, to make use of G-d’s playground as he wishes. Of course, inevitably, he will have to answer for his actions but for now he’s a free bird.

There is one particular tool that’s very interesting and I’d like to illustrate with a story that actually happened. Unfortunately, it happens quite often. The names and places are changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.

Being single in the Jewish scene is very difficult. There is a lot of pressure in getting married and starting a family. Mazal is mazal, for some it’s easy to find “the one” and for some it’s not so easy. As an Orthodox Jew there is a degree of modesty that one has to adhere to and therefore he/she cannot, for the most part meet their mate anywhere. One goes on numerous blind dates. The credentials of the guy and girl are carefully checked before the two go out. It is rare that one meets his Eshet Chail walking up to her, with a drink in his hand, at a bar. The pick-up line, among the Orthodox is a lot less apparent than in the secular world. However its difficult, at times to stay idle and wait for the matchmaker or friend to call.

At one point, going to the Catskill Mountains for weekend Shabbatons at hotels was considered making an additional attempt. It makes the individual feel good that perhaps he’s making an effort, that perhaps he’s doing something!! The atmosphere, though, is very tense. People bottle up their emotions and try to put up a very happy face when going to a singles social gathering. There is much competition and a lot of hurtful feeling going around when what you perceive to be “the one you would spend a lifetime with” doesn’t agree with your sentiments. However, one cannot visibly display their inner pain. At times those feeling are displayed in a roundabout way.

Ruben and Lee were lounging around the hotel lobby on a Shabbat afternoon bored and a bit tired. They were surrounded by a few friends watching as other guests of the hotel, who were part of a singles Shabbaton, were entering and leaving when a familiar face, Sammy, entered the lobby.

As Sammy made his way and said his hello to the guys, he started to brag, as he usually does, about himself, about his business dealing the past week, and his good fortune he’s having over the weekend, Ruben glanced a smirk to Lee. Lee foresaw exactly what Ruben was going to do as he played along with him.

Ruben interrupted him and began to discuss a mutual friend who also approached the same girl as he did. “And did you know, Lee, they were talking for hours this afternoon” Ruben looked at Lee’s direction, as Lee nodded, yes. Lee, then, chimed in and, on a completely different topic, and said mockingly “and you know David said (a business maven in their circle of friends)” who ever bought the stock Three Star is going to take a bath”. They knew Sammy invested, heavily, in the stock. Ruben and Lee perhaps, perturbed by the weekend anxieties or by the annoyance of Sammy, cleverly and brilliantly engineered the fable story of the girl talking to the other friend as well as David’s prediction of the failed stock.

Ruben and Lee succeeded in accomplishing what they wanted, as Sammy exploded, made an ugly scene, and practically drew out, in a fit of rage, both the manager of the hotel and the program organizer to contain him.

Ruben and Lee knew Sammy had a short fuse; they knew what buttons to push. They were toying with him predicting and placing bets at what precise moment Sammy will lose it. After seeing this display, one is left to wonder are we wolves dressed up like sheep?

Man is made up of a four chemical makeup: fire, water, wind, and sand. Depending on each individual, the chemical makeup differs. If fire is dominant, then a person tendency’s is toward anger or toward pursuit of honor. When fire is lit, if one notices, it tends to go up; the same with a person who desires “kavod” – honor – if he receives just a slight compliment, his ego goes up, and up and away. If one tends to gravitate towards water, then he’s more prone to lusty bodily desires; that’s what’s on his mind. Wind is lightheadedness and sand is laziness and depression.

We read in this week’s parsha about a Nazir – a person who takes a vow to separate oneself from material pleasures. The Nazir may not drink wine or cut his hair. The Nazir is also prohibited in defilement through contact with a dead body.

When we speak about a Nazir the first name that comes to mind is Shimshon the most famous of them all.

Shimshon’s parents’ prayers were answered and after many years, they had a baby boy. However, the messenger, an angel, informed Shimshon’s mother “The baby you will have cannot drink wine and cut his hair.” Shimshon had tremendous strength and the secret of his strength was his “nezerut” (refraining from wine and a good barber).

Shimshon had a tendency to gravitate towards non-Jewish women. His first wife was burned by the Jews’ bitter enemy – Philishtim. His second wife, Delila, also not Jewish, was beautiful and Shimshon was smitten by her. Why did she marry him? Well, he wasn’t exactly your typical Jewish accountant. He was strong and the Philishtim were scared of him.

Delila was genuinely a good person; however, as time went on, she got corrupted. The spies of the Philishtim came over to Delila and offered her tremendous wealth and status. Then after the first meeting went so well, the officers came up to her place. Delila was flattered; she received so much attention and “kavod”. They knew how to manipulate her. A good person can deteriorate. Some say she had an affair; others say she had an affair with the money, with the “kavod”. Delila was sold on being their spy and she went to work for the Philishtim. She was to find out the secret of her husband’s power. She tortured him, refraining from sexual relations unless he reveals his secret. She nagged him and at times crying, “You don’t love me.” Apparently, she knew how to manipulate him. It’s hard for a man to be blackmailed with having physical relations. However, he can overcome and be strong. There was one important factor in this relationship; he loved her more then she loved him and she knew it!

Shimshon was a very holy and great man who was extremely sincere and loved G-d very much. One should never do what Shimshon did; he invited G-d to test his weakness. We tend to get all gung-ho about our religious level and sometimes we pray and say things that will haunt us later. Shimshon eventually revealed his secret and Delila quickly passed it on to the Philishtim contacts. Tragic ending to Shimshon.

At a banquet where all the major officers of the Philishtim army came to celebrate the capture of Shimshon who was chained to the great pillar at the banquet, Shimshon, whose eyes were gorged out, prayed one last time to G-d to forgive him and give him strength this one last time. G-d answered his prayer and with one thrust, he brought down the pillars and the building, and killed everyone, including himself.

Many lessons can be learned from the story of Shimshon and Delila but the one that’s greatly apparent is how manipulation was used to destroy a man. Furthermore the woman who destroyed Shimshon was manipulated herself. The manipulation tactic was aimed at their weakness and succeeded in exposing it.

However, manipulation can be positive. Aharon, Moshe’s brother was, famously known as, a man of peace, who deceived others in order to secure the “shalom” whether it be between husband and wife or friends. Manipulation, we see was a major and successful tool used by the greatest peacemaker of all time.

Interestingly, Yaakov, our forefather knew his future father-in-law, Lavan would try to manipulate him. So he devised a plan revealing to Rachel, the one he loved, secret signs as a precautionary measure just in case Lavan actually does switch Rachel with her sister Leah.

Indeed the switch took place and the next morning, low and behold, it’s Leah. However, we find that Leah wasn’t punished for deceiving and manipulating Yaakov. In fact, one can say it was admirable of her for going through with the charades. She didn’t want to marry a “rasha” like Eisav who she was destined for. So why does the verse say she was “senua”- hated by Yaakov? It was not manipulation at all. When Yaakov asked the next morning “why did you answer “yes” when I called Rachel’s name throughout the night” she responded rudely “I’m just following your example; when you received the “bracha” from your father, you answered deceitfully “I’m your oldest son – Eisav”. This is the reason why Yaakov became distant from Leah.

Manipulation is a way of life; it’s a tool that can be used to make people better or destroy them. Yes, it can reflect a lack of appreciation for another human being. One undermines another’s dignity. The manipulator gets his way in an underhanded manor. It shows a lack of respect. However, we mentioned briefly that Leah raised the issue how Yaakov and his mother, Rivka, conspired to manipulate Yitzchak, his father and that was crucial in the development of the Jewish people. Yitzchak, himself, later realized that he was wrong in favoring Eisav and believing he’s the chosen one.

Granted, in most cases it can lead to trouble, however, the Torah was made for people who have a mind and can reason. Nothing in this world is black and white. One should use prudent judgment and ask advice. G-d gave us all gifts and weaknesses and it’s our job to bring out the positive energy in others whatever which way. It’s also apparent that we must not let our weaknesses be magnified and fall victim to manipulation.

We see through manipulation the nation of Israel was formed. It can build or destroy – the choice is ours.

Sibling Rivalry

May 15, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Yisschar Frand, Berel Wein Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus, Dr. Abba Goldman and Mr. Shmuel Yosipov

Siblings’ rivalry. A number of years ago in the most coveted sport events of the year, where 100 million viewers tuned in, Footballs highest honor, the two best teams that played the Ravens and the 49ers had an interesting twist in their story line. Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh and his younger brother Jim, head man of the San Francisco 49ers, became the first pair of brothers to coach against each other in the Super Bowl. If one thinks that’s super, in the early 1960’s President John F Kennedy needed help to run a super power and named his younger brother Robert -the Attorney General. Here are two brothers heading the most powerful country in the world.

Whether it be the Marx brothers, Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo making the world laugh or watching the parents of the Williams sisters, who competed against each other on Tennis’s grand stage, uncomfortably not knowing who to cheer for, siblings can put the best performance, on the highest level, out there!!!.

There is something very interesting in this week’s Parshiot that one should take note. Parshat Acharei-Mot contains the list of forbidden sexual relationships. Vayikra 18:18 contains the Biblical prohibition for a person to marry his wife’s sister. In expressing this prohibition, the Torah uses the word “litzror” [to make a co-wife].

The Ramban comments: This verb expresses the reason for this prohibition. Most of the forbidden relations (e.g. — mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, etc.) were simply forbidden without stating a reason. However, the Torah does state a reason by a sister-in-law, namely that it is inappropriate to make two sisters into co-wives of the same husband. These two women should ideally love one another. Placing them into a situation of rivalry will inevitably cause those who should have been best of friends to have a hostile relationship with one another.

The Ramban continues: The Torah does not state this regarding a daughter or mother of one’s wife, because they remain to be forbidden even after his wife’s death (unlike the situation with the sisters, where a sister is permitted to marry her brother-in-law if her sister — his first wife – dies). The Ramban distinguishes between the “ervah”-forbidden relations of two sisters and that of other relations. Here the Torah did not forbid the marriage because of “ervah” but because of the social harm it would bring to the sibling relationship, which at any rate is subject to rivalry. To avoid aggravating that natural sibling rivalry to intolerable levels, the Torah forbade a man to simultaneously be married to two sisters. The proof that this prohibition is different than all the others (and that it is not because of “ervah” or “she’er basar” [close relationship] but for some other reason) is the very fact that the prohibition expires upon the death of one of the sisters.

We learn two novel ideas from this Ramban.

First, we see from the fact that the Torah includes this prohibition in the chapter of forbidden relationships (arayot) that the Torah treats the matter of causing sisters to hate one another with the same severity as it treats the cardinal sin of arayot.

Second, we see how important it is in the eyes of the Torah for children to get along with one another. The Torah bans two sisters from marrying the same person for the simple reason that the Torah does not want siblings to fight with each other. Whether we are ourselves siblings or whether we are parents who have children who are siblings, we all know that this is indeed a very big challenge.

As a matter of fact, the book of Bereishit, which comprises a substantial part of the entire written Torah, contains within it almost no commandments and is basically a book of narrative tracing the development of one family – eventually seventy in number – and of the difficulties that this family encountered over generations, purposely waits till the very end, till we finally correct the flaw we’ve had throughout the book, where then the family is elevated to a nation.

One has to realize the first man, Adam’ sons, Kayin and Hevel did not get along. Moreover, the pattern continues, Yitzchak and Yishmael, Yaacov and Eisav, Leah and Rachel, Yosef and his brothers didn’t see eye to eye either.

It wasn’t till the end of the book, where we see that Menashe, Yosef’ eldest son, not bothered by his grandfather Yaakov placing his right hand over his younger brother Efraim where he gave a more important blessing. It’s no coincidence that the optimal blessing is, one should be like Efraim and Menashe.

The book concludes with Yosef and his brothers at peace with each other. Unity is in place with the fine end taste of Efraim and Menashe – the ultimate “giving” brothers.

When we start the next book, Shemot, it’s no coincidence that we find nation is led by two brothers Moshe and Aharon. We learn in the beginning of the story line, one of the reasons, that Moshe was not willing to take the mantle of leading the Israelites out of Egypt was that his older brother Aharon might be slighted. It wasn’t until G-d reassured him that quite the opposite – Aharon will be elated with Moshe being chosen over him. It seems like a healthier family structure: where the respect and sensitivity replaces jealousy and strife, found all too often in Bereishit.

There is a famous Midrash (a body of interpretations of Torah texts along with instructional stories as taught by Chazal (Rabbinical Jewish sages of the post-Temple era) that provide an intrinsic analysis to passages in the Tanach.) where there were two brothers, a rich man, who was married with a big family, and a poor man who was not married who were concerned about the other’s well-being. They lived on the opposite side of the mountain. The rich man, at night, secretly placed grains in his brother’s property; knowingly he would be too ashamed and not accept his kindness. He rationalized my brother is too poor and has nobody to look after him. While the poor man, at night also secretly placed grains in his brother’s possessions reasoning my brother has a big family and would find it difficult, for he has too much on his mind, to fetch the grains himself.

One night as the both, covertly, were going to the other, they unexpectedly collided on the top of the mountain. Startled and surprised, they realized it was the other who were placing the grain at the other one’s property where then they joyfully embraced. G-d loved the moment and the tremendous affection they showed one another so much that He proclaimed this site, on top of the mountain, is where the Temple will be built.

My Mother had mentioned that when she and my father migrated to this country, basically without family, they were joined by another couple whom they arrived together with on the same ship. She mentioned fondly that she had such an intense friendship with her, Nurit Alibayof, the first year, not surprising since they had no family and difficulty in language and culture. Although I wasn’t born yet, however, when I did experience how they interacted years later, I could not imagine their friendship any better for it was very strong for 50 years until Nurit’s death. However, it seems the closeness my mother has with her sister is quite different in nature. That too is one of extreme closeness. The common bond of having the same parents, same gender, similar of age and same upbringing translates to a very powerful closeness which I’ve experienced and observed over the years. Similarly, my wife and her sister have a relationship that has that sibling/of the same gender great intensity.

However, for the most part siblings of the same gender are more prone to fighting sometimes in the most vicious and extraordinary way. Despite the odds though, we have to look at the flip side, the same gender sibling relationship could positively be translated as extremely productive and for that reason, perhaps, the Torah does not want to tamper with that relationship.

What are the measures to prevent the “bad blood” between the two siblings? One has to realize as Dr. Goldman says, that “it’s all up to the parents, they set the stage; the atmosphere is in their hands”. He mentioned one method often used to motivate a child to excel is to belittle his actions by showing the other sibling doing better. Although it might be a motivation, however, animosity, jealousy and tension will develop among the siblings. An inevitable common thought will be “Mommy and Daddy love you more than me” enraging the rivalry. The mother and father as well as teacher and camp counselor are leaders and set the tone. The mother and the father have to show that they enjoy their children’s company. Often parents come home from work not wanting to be disturbed. They are doing an injustice to their children. A happy “I want to come home to my family” attitude has to be presented!

It’s very important that a child not feel slighted in any way. I met a parent who is sending one of his twins to one school and another to a different school. I asked him, “wouldn’t just sending them to different classes in the grade be sufficient? Why go to the extreme of a different school altogether? He answered, his wife is a twin and she often felt slighted even in separate classes. Besides, he continued, often schools don’t have same level grades, it’s the “A” class and the “B” class.

The main message of the “midrash” of the two bothers on the mountain is one of brotherly love and ahavat chinam. The pasuk in Tehillim (Psalm 133:1) states: “Hinei matov u’mah naim, shevet achim gam yachad, Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity. There is something very primal about brotherly love, which may explain why it is so difficult to achieve, and why it is such a rare, valuable gem when find it. Dovid HaMelech wrote about the very thing Yaakov wanted to do: settle among “settled brothers.” Alas, the fulfillment of his dream was premature, not achieving completion in his lifetime, the lifetime of Yosef, or even, within the lifetimes of his surviving brothers.

In fact, we’re still waiting……..

May we speedily in our day have the unity that will lead to the Temple being rebuilt on Mount Moriah.

Can we push off death?

May 15, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Moshe Mayer Weiss, Yisschar Frand, Berel Wein , Noach Isaac Oelbaum Yossi Bilus, Dr. Abba Goldman

Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss mentions in his book “Meaningful life” that the angel of death is called DUMAH which is spelled in hebrew “daled” -“vav”- “mem” “hei”. It seems kind of odd; why do we have to know his name? Are there any gains of us knowing his name? Will it prevent him from killing us if we utter his name? I once knew someone who never forgot the first name of the person he was introduced to. It felt good that someone remembers your name after only having to spend a few minutes with you. It feels like I made an impression on him; it makes one feel important. Perhaps, the angel of death will have a warm feeling that you remembered his name and have second thoughts of going through with his job.

I felt sad, one day, when I discovered that one of the employees at a Jewelry store where I did business, occasionally, got retired. The other worker asked me “why are you so sad?” I said: “he made me feel good and youthful because in the twenty years of doing business with you guys, he always called me a kid”. The worker laughed and said “he called everyone a kid whom he didn’t know their name”.

We can actually ward off death, at least some of us and the clue is found in this week’s parsha. However, in order to fully understand the antidote – it would be wise to familiarize ourselves with a famous story that’s been circulating in different variations throughout our Jewish history.

There was a Big Rabbi, presumably the Ba’al Shem Tov, however, that might be disputed, and who wanted to know who he will sit next to in Gan Eden (Heaven). G-d granted his wish by presenting the fellow’s name and town where he resides (Facebook did not exist then) where then the Rabbi made his journey via train to the location.

The Rabbi received negative vibes as he was inquiring the where-bouts of this individual. People were surprised that the Rabbi wanted to meet such an individual. After, finally, meeting with his Gan Eden partner, a butcher, he was taken a back how little they had in common. To add insult to injury – the tall fat man would, not only, not interrupt his meal when seeing the Rabbi, but would accelerate his eating with vigor. As a matter of fact, besides work the butcher would spend the majority of his time eating.

The Rabbi asked the obvious question, “Why do you eat so much?” The butcher responded, “let me tell you a little story, Rabbi”.

One day, when I was a little boy, the biggest nightmare which every Jewish child dreads came true. There was a pogrom and our house was singled out. They took all our possessions and lit it on fire in the middle of the street. Then they took my father, who happened to be a tiny skinny man and, effortlessly, threw him into the fire where he was consumed rather quickly. The “pigs” laughed and boasted how easy it was to kill a Jew.

With tears I vowed that day, if a pogrom ever happens again to my family, I will make sure that it will not be easy to kill this Jew!! They will have to earn it! This is the reason why I eat so much.

The Rabbi realized that every bite of food that this butcher chewed – he was making a conscious effort to enhance the name of G-d and HIS ambassadors – the Jewish people. The Rabbi understood the closeness and devotion to G-d that the butcher etched himself transforming the physical act of eating and all its pleasures to a spiritual realm. G-d is not just in the Synagogue or the study hall; it’s also in all our endeavors. The butcher was a master in accomplishing that feat and therefore merited a seat next to the Rabbi.

There is an astonishing insight into having a meal among friends which was conveyed by Rabbi I. N. Oelbaum. We all know that it’s important when sitting among 2 or more men, a d’var Torah-insights into Torah should be recited. The Chatam Sofer adds that the Mishna where this concept is found is only talking about regular people; therefore they have to say a d’var Torah. However, those that are sensitive and are well versed in Torah matters are exempt because the act of eating itself is as if a sacrifice has been presented on the Altar (the table where we eat is the substitute today for the Altar). A well versed Torah scholar doesn’t have to do anything extra. He is living the “Sacrifice experience” which was performed then. Furthermore, he is trained to appreciate the food and all the pleasures that go with it, which enters the mouth.

Parshat Emor contains the Parsha of the Festivals and amongst the Festivals listed is Yom Kippur, about which it is written: “It is a day of complete rest for you and you shall afflict yourselves; on the ninth of the month in the evening – from evening to evening – shall you rest on your rest day.” [Vayikra 23:32] Yom Kippur is on the Tenth of Tishrei and yet the pasuk specifies “on the ninth of the month in the evening”.

The Gemara [Yoma 81a] asks a simple question: “Do we fast on the ninth? Behold: we fast on the tenth!” One of the lessons the Talmud derives is that “whoever eats (i.e. — feasts) on the Eve of Yom Kippur, Scripture renders it as if he fasted on both the ninth and the tenth”.

This Chassidic story of the Rabbi and the butcher enlightens us in understanding the Talmudic analysis regarding “eating” on the ninth of Tishrei. When one eats for the sake of Heaven on the Ninth of Tishrei – so that he will be fortified and better be able to fulfill the mitzvah of not eating on the Tenth of Tishrei – then it is considered as that day too he fulfills a mitzvah equivalent to fasting!!

As a matter of fact, there is a custom where one has a formal meal a day before Yom Kippur called the “teshuva” – repentance meal. At the table – the discussion evolves around repentance.

There are many who utter the words “L’shem kavod Shabbat-for the purpose of enhancing the Shabbat” before eating. We see how there is an entirely different dimension to eating.

We can eat for the sake of Heaven. We can drink for the sake of Heaven. We can exercise for the sake of Heaven. We can turn almost anything into a mitzvah. It does not require an iota more of an effort. It just depends on what a person is thinking. That is why the butcher in the story with the Baal Shem Tov was going to merit an honorable place in the world to come.

One of the cardinal principles of Judaism is gratitude – the necessity and ability to say thank you. Someone who is kafuy tova – unappreciative of what he or she has and ungrateful to the extreme – is deemed to be a sinner, if not in deed certainly in attitude. The Talmud in its inimitable fashion states that a living person should always refrain from complaint – it is sufficient that one is still alive for gratitude to be present and expressed.

Jews begin their day with two words – modeh ani – I acknowledge and thank You God for having given me the gift of life once more as I awake to the new day. A general attitude of gratitude and thanks makes living life easier and simpler, even in the face of obstacles, problems and severe difficulties. The person who is able to appreciate and thank others is more optimistic. That person will always see the glass as being half full. There will be greater appreciation for what one has and less jealousy and angst over what one does not have.

In our competitive, materialistic, market driven society, there seems to be little room for expressions of gratitude. But the Torah and all of Jewish tradition and its value system demand that we be grateful and thankful, not only in attitude but in our words and deeds as well. The importance of this concept is something that should be inculcated within our children and grandchildren from the time of their earliest ages. One of the earliest phrases or words that a child should learn is “thank you.”

Those who find it difficult to say thank you to other human beings for their help will also find it difficult to say thank You to G-d for the gift of life and all that accompanies that gift. We become accustomed to gifts and kindnesses extended to us and take them for granted. Only when they are no longer there do we begin to appreciate their value and importance. The wise person will learn to say thank you while those gifts, persons and situations are still present among us.

Rabbi Frand points out that the Hebrew word for “admitting” and the Hebrew word for “giving thanks” are one and the same — Hoda’ah. In Hebrew, we say, “I am Modeh that I owe you” (I admit) and we also say, “Modeh Ani lefanecha” (I give thanks before You).

There is a blessing in the Shmoneh Esrei called the Blessing of thanksgiving. The blessing begins with the words “Modim anachnu lach”. Rabbi Frand says that the literal translation of these words is not “we thank You”; rather the literal translation is “we admit to You”.

The reason why these two words are identical in Hebrew is because a person’s ability to give thanks is based on his ability to admit that he is incomplete. If a person gives thanks to someone, it indicates that he is incomplete — he needed the favors and kindness of someone else. This is why it is sometimes so difficult for us to say “thank you” — because it is so difficult for us to admit that we were in need. The greater the gifts that we receive from someone, the more difficult it is to say “thank you”, because a greater gift indicates our greater need.

Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss mentions that the angel of death is called DUMAH which is spelled in hebrew “daled” -“vav”- “mem” “hei”. When rearranged these letters also spell MODEH to give thanks.

Now we can understand more clearly why it’s important to eat on the ninth day proceeding Yom Kippur. If we are MODEH-thankful, if we are conscious and have the right intention, if we appreciate what goes into our mouth and what goes out of it, then we will ward off the angel of death, not just with our prayers the following day, but with pastrami sandwich the day before!!

Exercising our famous Jewish gift, brainpower, wisely

May 15, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Mayer Glazer, Yisschar Frand, Baruch Dopelt, Jay Shapiro, Uri Sklaar, Yossi Bilus, Dr. Abba Goldman

Hey, Jews are smart! Did you know that? In fact throughout the course of an ordinary day we practice brain exercises by negotiating contemplating issues with, out of all people, ourselves. For example, any child will think twice about eating meat, no matter how appetizing it is, for he knows he can’t have dairy for the next six hours. So the calculations start. He says “If I eat the hot dog now, will I be clear and free to eat the Carvel ice-cream when it comes my way later tonight? Perhaps if I consume the frank quickly and not waste time and maybe the ice cream which I will be receiving will be delayed by traffic, I could, then, conceivably pull off eating both. Or maybe, perhaps, I shouldn’t take the chance”. “Or perhaps I can sandwich bag the hot dog then I can eat it later after the ice cream”

These are the negotiations that any red blooded observant Jew has to go through daily. Granted, it’s a challenge but we are committed……aren’t we?

Baker Bob was one of the finest bakers in the Catskills. Not knowingly, one individual arrived at an event where Baker Bob’s desserts were on display; however, he had a meat for lunch. Anybody who knows anything about baking knows that the best deserts and chocolates are made with butter and milk. It’s very hard to resist Baker Bob’s cakes and pastries. After a half an hour the individual too succumbed to the cakes, even though the time allowed to eat dairy did not arrive, rationalizing, “although my ancestry custom is to wait six hours, I will adopt the German Jews custom of waiting three hours”. As time passed on, he began to be more lax eating dairy right after meat justifying his actions even more, saying “it’s not so bad…at least I’m not eating the two together”. This is a frequent problem among many, where one thing leads to another and the individual degenerates. We have to explore why this is so? Where and how did he develop his brazen authority to feel he’s capable to make such decisions?

Our people like to exercise, often, the ability to “rationalize”. It’s what we do best. The Jewish cup (brains) is one of the finest in the business; we are not robots; we are known to be thinking machines. Does this precious Jew have the power of decision making? What tends to happen is him saying, “perhaps I’m not so careful about keeping milk and meat laws but I’m careful in other areas; nobody’s perfect”.

Let’s explore the ability to rationalize and how we can use it to our benefit. One has to realize that at times it can backfire and we can get in trouble. The first time we learn of someone rationalizing was the first woman, Eve.

“And she saw that the tree was good”(2:6 Bereshit) It seems like Eve rationalized the tree was good to eat, even though she was told otherwise.

In the second of this week’s parshiot, Bechokotai, G-d threatens us (26:14) “if you do not listen to Me and do not do all of these commandments”…then……Hey! There are very un-pleasant curses written as a result of not keeping them. One has to ask why G-d is so rigid. So I don’t observe all, however, I keep most.

Furthermore, when do we exercise our famous gift of brainpower? It seems like the Torah is limiting our “say power” by demanding that we observe all the commandments or else.

In a few weeks we will celebrate the receiving of the Torah. If one examines the whole courtship of us, the Jews, receiving the Torah there is one important expression that we, our ancestors uttered that elevated and separated us above the other nations. When approached by G-d, we answered “NA’ASEH V’NISHMA”-“we will DO, then we will hear”. It was a tremendous act of faith on our part, it was what HE wanted to hear, where then G-d rewarded us with His Torah. We did not say “what is in it”? It was for the very reason why we uttered the words “NA’ASEH V’NISHMA” we were chosen. However, by picking and choosing what commandments to keep and how to keep it, we are violating that breach of trust which G-d put so much faith in us to be labeled the “chosen ones.” We are violating the statement that made us famous.

By picking and choosing what commandments we feel have to be observed, we are creating our own mandate. It’s not G-d’s Torah, it seems like it’s the individual’s own contraption. Is it our morality or is it G-d’s morality? Is it our laws of Shabbat we are observing or is it G-ds. If it is G-d’s, then we have to abide by his rules.

Many are mistaken to think that if it’s not logical, if it doesn’t make sense, then one is not obligated to perform it. This mindset goes against the main principle of “NA’ASEH VENISHMA” which got us on the map!! This is what made us an attractive commodity in G-d’s eyes.

A story is told of a college student who made a commitment to start keeping Shabbat. Exited, he had a Shabbat meal by an observant family nearby his dorm room. He got an unpleasant surprise, after the meal, as he entered his dorm room. His roommate, who had left town for the weekend, forgot to close the lights which were glaring bright throughout the entire room. G-d doesn’t waste any time in testing people. His first Shabbat was a painful and tiring experience; however, he mentioned it made him stronger. Besides the commitment he had to G-d and His commandments, he learned to be disciplined. This is an incident that- if successfully passed – separates the men from the boys.

An interesting question arises so when and how can we rationalize our actions? When can we use a little “brain power”?

Let’s return to the first woman, Eve. She saw it was good, rationalizing, to eat from the tree. The problem at hand, it was without authority. We have to ask what argument the snake presented to enhance the tree’s attractiveness persuading Eve to go against her husband, Adam’s command. The snake said “if you eat from the tree you will have tremendous knowledge like G-d”. Acquiring G-d’s knowledge had such an appeal that Eve would circumvent and jeopardized not only her residency in Gan Eden, but her entire existence?!!

What, then, is G-d’s knowledge that is so appealing? The Torah. The Zohar says that the Torah was created first and the world follows the Torah’s cue. When we pray to G-d, we are talking to HIM. When we learn his Torah, HE is talking to us. One, who learns, adjusts his thinking to the Torah. That is tremendous!! He becomes, not only closer to G-d, but speaking through HIM. He, who learns, becomes a changed man, a superior man! However, the learning of G-d’s work must be consistent; a regular connection is required. One of the main questions they will ask after one departs this world “did you learn Torah daily”.

However, when one stops learning the Torah on a consistent basis, he, then, does not grow with G-d and therefore, locks in to what makes sense to himself, therefore, stumping his growth. He makes up his own self style following his internal compass. He develops an arrogant attitude of “whatever feels right is right”. He rationalizes that it’s okay to eat milk soon after meat.

If one wants assurance that the curses above will not take effect, he has to have complete faith that all the commandments are important to keep. To be able to succeed in the mitzvot that G-d designed, one has to make time to learn His masterpiece, the Torah, and apply it to everyday life.

Sometimes we forget the meaning of a world without Torah. A world without Torah is just a matter of the thickness of the veneer. It is literally a situation of “each man is prepared to swallow up his fellow man” [Pirkei Avos 3:2]. The line between a human being and a wild animal – without the guiding moral force of Torah – is indeed very thin.

On Shavuot, which we are anticipating in a few weeks, we read the story of Ruth and Orpah. Ruth and Orpah were sisters, daughters of Eglon King of Moab. They were from royalty. They had to choose between going back to a strange land with a woman, Niomi, who was an old widow without a possession in the world or returning to their father’s palace. Who really made the rational decision?

Rabbi Frand learns out that if we look at the situation with a cold calculating eye, Orpah clearly was the one who made the logical decision. Ruth made an irrational decision. Why follow Naomi? It does not add up.

Ruth realized the difference between a life with Torah and a life without Torah. When the dilemma was put into those stark terms, Ruth had a relatively easy decision. Life without Torah is not worth living. This is the essence of Shavuot.

Its not a coincidence that we learn that Ruth grandson, King David danced uncontrollably with tremendous happiness and vigor in front of the Torah. How can a king not have his controlled demeanor? That behavior might not be fitting for a king; or perhaps it does!! King David was ecstatic because he knew, like his Grandmother, how Torah can transform man to a much elevated status. He knew that it is the true “brain power” where it is permissible to rationalize, as long as its studied daily. He knew having faith in G-d, proclaiming NA’ASEH V’NISHMA and doing all of G-d’s commandments is the ticket to a better life.

Is it the “crowd” that infuses energy at a wedding?

April 29, 2015 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s,Yonnasan Zweig, Yisschar Frand, Berel Wein Dr. Abba Goldman

The crowd makes a difference

How significant is it to fit in, to be part of the crowd, to be in the inner circle. Do the readers remember a memorable article I wrote, a number of years ago, titled “men without country “where some of us feel they don’t belong anywhere? Many of us might argue we don’t need to be part of any particular group, especially where Americans cherish, and rightfully so, a degree of independence. The 1970’s embodied the “me” generation. Mind you, it was the “me” generation and not “us”.

In this week’s parshiot we discover something puzzling to many of us who don’t belong.

“…He shall dwell in isolation; his dwelling shall be outside the camp” (13:46)

The Torah teaches us that the Metzorah (“one being diseased,” with certain skin afflictions, collectively called tzara’at, that cause spiritual uncleanliness in the afflicted person.) must remain in isolation, away from human contact. The Talmud explains that a Metzora is guilty of anti-social behavior and therefore he is separated from society.

Nevertheless, there is an exception; Rashi tells us that a Kohen should not proclaim a newlywed a Metzora during his seven days of festivities, when a Jewish couple marries the first seven days. “The seven blessings” also known as birkot nissuin (Hebrew: ברכות נישואין), “the wedding blessings” in Jewish law are blessings that are recited for a bride and her groom as part of nissuin. In Jewish marriages there are two stages – betrothal (erusin) and establishing the full marriage (nissuin). These blessings are also recited as part of the week-long festivities celebrating the wedding; in most communities these festive meals occur during the week after the wedding- sheva brachot.

Why would we allow a newlywed to begin a relationship with his wife before he is cured from a behavior that will surely hamper this relationship?

In order to answer the question, one has to understand the significance of sheva brachot and for that matter – marriage.

In order to complete the bond between Man and Wife, there is a two-step process, Erusin and Nissuin.

It’s pretty obvious that Erusin comes from the same shoresh-root as ארשת שפתיו, which means speech or words; so, Erusin means “to give your word, to agree or to pledge to marry”. The agreement is made binding through the kinyan, and the woman becomes prohibited to all other men, but the essence is the promise. The word is identical with the English ‘Troth,’ which means ‘to promise or to pledge’. Erusin=betrothal. What does Nissuin mean?

It means “to become burdened,” from רחיים בצווארו, a millstone around the neck, an idiomatic expression used in the Gemara to refer to the responsibilities of marriage. There are other definitions of the word Nissuin. Marriage is a gift (מַשְׂאַת) from the Chatan to the Kalah, and from the Kalah to the Chatan, and from G-d to both of them; Marriage is an opportunity to elevate (כִּי תִשָּׂא) yourself by learning to love another person more than yourself; Marriage is when you take on responsibility for a family; Marriage is when you have to listen to your heart (נְשָׂאוֹ לִבּוֹ) as well as your mind; חתן דומה למלך and the word נישואין comes from נְּשִׂאִים because the Chatan and Kallah become a King and a Queen(נְּשִׂאִים).

So it seems marriage is a big responsibility and one who takes it upon himself to take the great big plunge, to suffer the full sting of the burden, which society is privileged and benefits since another family has been created, we are saying to him we are behind you!!!

Anti-social behavior is exhibited by a person who is unhappy with himself. When a person’s unhappiness stems from the feeling that he is unappreciated by society, he becomes depressed, and this can often lead to anti-social behavior. During the seven days of celebration following a wedding, the groom is given the elevated status of a King. The joy he experiences from this special attention serves to suppress any anti-social behavior which he may, under normal circumstances have exhibited. There is even the chance that the jubilance he feels could alter his behavior and transform his personality. By saying we are behind you; we are on your side; by making him feel important – we are giving him a vote of confidence. The sheva brachot meals have to be in the presence of ten men, an amount necessary to perform many of the Torah commandments; seemingly, perhaps the number consists of a significant group worthy of acknowledgement…We give a great big sendoff that he’ll remember for the rest of his life, especially looking back at the wedding and sheva brachot pictures, where he would reminisce at this period with joy and it will be the barometer where he can perform the responsibilities of marriage with confidence and great joy.

Perhaps, most important – he will do repentance with joy – teshuva b’simcha as appose to repentance with anguish – teshuva b’tza’ar. The popular belief is that all sins are forgiven for the bride and groom at their wedding day. So the Chatan begins with a clean slate.

Therefore, the Torah instructs the Kohen not to render a groom unclean during his seven days of celebration, for his predisposition to anti-social behavior poses no threat to the relationship with his wife; on the contrary, he may even be cured at the culmination of the seven days due to the attention he receives.

HOW TO MAKE A CHATAN AND KALLAH HAPPY?

Hence, it’s very important to be active in participation in the joy of the Chatan and Kallah. There are two main categories in this regard: One is to accompany the bride and groom to the wedding canopy (chupa – in Hebrew) prepare for the wedding, and the other is to help them enjoy the wedding as much as possible.

Furthermore, the commandment of ‘being like G-d’ is fulfilled when one helps a bride and groom. Where do we see that G-d participates in people’s weddings? The Rabbis tell us that Adam and Eve participated in the first ever wedding, and the only onlooker was G-d! G-d, so to speak, arranged that Eve’s hair be arranged for the wedding and brought her to Adam. Thus we see that helping people in the process of getting married is a way of emulating G-d.

The mitzva of accompanying the bride and groom to the wedding was traditionally performed by accompanying the bride from her home to the chupa. Nowadays, the mitzva is fulfilled when the men accompany the groom when he covers the veil of the bride.

The mitzva of giving joy to the bride and groom is fulfilled by dancing in front of them and saying pleasant things such as extolling the virtues of the bride to the groom. In Orthodox weddings, the guests show great enthusiasm in their dancing and entertaining of the bride and groom. The emphasis is totally on giving them joy, as opposed to enjoying oneself. The Rabbis speak harshly of people who attend weddings and eat the food served there, but do not try to please the bride and groom. In contrast they speak very favorably of people who do give the bride and groom joy!

People experiencing a happy occasion truly appreciate when others share in their joy. Thus, giving joy to bride and groom is a great kindness; it shows them that we really feel their joy.

We see the importance of a group bringing joy to a friend, a Chatan/Kallah. The comradery is at its highest level! There is a story that illustrates this point well. It’s the story of Choni Hamehagel.

Choni fell asleep, and slept for seventy years. When he woke up he saw a man gathering carobs from the tree. “Are you the man who planted this tree?” he (Choni) asked.

“I am his grandson.” “I must have slept for seventy years,” said Choni to himself. He saw that his donkey had given birth to a whole herd of donkeys. Choni went to his house. “Is Choni’s son here?” he asked. “His son is no longer alive, but his grandson is here,” they replied to him. “I am Choni Hamehagel” he told them. They did not believe him.

He went to the Beit Midrash (study hall) and he heard the Rabbis say, “Things are so clear today, like in the days of Choni Hamehagel, that every question that the Rabbis had, he knew the answer to it.”

“I am he,” said Choni. The Rabbis did not believe him and they did not respect him even though his knowledge of Torah was great. He said if I don’t have a companion in expressing myself, it’s not worth to live.

He was weakened and he asked G-d to have mercy on him, and he died.
There are many questions on this Gemara, however, let’s focus on Choni’s mental wellbeing throughout the whole episode.

Choni was transported to the future. He was not recognized but he was remembered, fondly, as a historical figure. Everybody immediately recognized the name Choni and revered it. However, they did not connect nor believe that the man in front of them was in fact Choni. This happened both in his home and in the study hall.

We see from here that Choni had a past (people knew his name) and he had a future (he had grandchildren and his name lived on in his scholarly teachings), however – he had no present! He could not connect; he could not adapt to the present in which he was placed.

No person should live in isolation, and belonging to and contributing to a community – synagogues, charitable organizations, study groups, etc. – becomes our clothing, so to speak – the external persona that we project. The great Choni Hamehagel of Second Temple times said it well: “if there is no community, then there is only death.”

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