Key to success is be yourself

March 19, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus,  Yissachar Frand, Dr. Robert Goldman, Y Nachshoni, Gadalia Shorr
 Why do we recite the Kaddish for a deceased loved one?  Out of all the prayers, why was this prayer chosen? Even a person who is non-observant will make it their business to recite the prayer. Its up there with the Shema as the most popular prayers.  The Sages say  that the recitation is a tremendous benefit for the soul that passed away. Therefore if one wants to honor their loved ones to the utmost he should make the effort to recite Kadish for their sake.

What’s in  it?  Well, the Kadish starts with  YITGADAL which means “great” and
YITKADASH which means “holy.”

In order to understand the importance of the prayer, we must start with a little story that will then shed some light.

 

Working for a boss can be quite challenging and frustrating at times.  Sometimes we have to walk on egg shells in order not to make the employer upset. Sometimes even that doesn’t help. There were 2 individuals who had the monotonous task of being water carriers for a very difficult man. The job was to carry  buckets of water  from one end of the field to the pool. The boss assigned each individual their own personal bucket. However one of the bucket had a hole in it and for the most part the un-lucky employee, as one could imagine,  was never able to deliver the full amount of water in the bucket. It reached a point where the other fellow would tease him of the useless task he was assigned with.
“Why is this lunatic trying to humiliate me” the employee said, about the boss, frustratingly. One day after being needled one time to many, by the fellow worker, he marched up to the bosses office up the hill demanding an explanation for the fruitless work.

The boss listened to his complaints and after a pause motioned the employee to follow him to the field where the employee had the dubious task of carrying the holy bucket. ” Recognize this route” the owner pointed to the ground. “This route which you carried the holy bucket is now full of flowers”.” Every day as you carried the bucket and the water leaked on the very same spots, the ground was absorbing its nourishment. You see there was meaning to your hard toil after all. However your friends route has no plants and flowers because his bucket did not leak. So the task wasn’t useless after all.

 

One may think that someone  is inadequate, that his life is useless, however everyone has a unique task in life. Unfortunately, with the pressure of today’s America one may point the “useless” finger not just at his friend but at himself as well. We see this lesson the valuable lesson in this weeks parsha.

“All meal offerings brought near before G-d should not be prepared leavened for you shall not cause to go up in smoke from any leavening or any honey as a fire-offering to G-d” [Vayikra2:11]. The lesson of this pasuk is that the Mincha offering must be pure flour — no foreign ingredients can be added to enhance the basic requirement of the meal offering. Although honey was held in great esteem, there is a strict prohibition in the Torah against bringing an offering of honey on the altar of the Mizbeach. In this respect honey was treated like leaven, which was also forbidden. Even the incense (Ke’toreth) -which was composed of eleven kinds of spices, all of them with the exception of one-sweet-smelling and fragrant; to which, if only a drop of honey were added, the perfume would have

Clarity: Pro’s and Con’s in the Jewish family

March 19, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of  Rabbi’s, Berel Wein, Yossi bilus, Ozer Alport also contributing Dr. Mirriam Adahan  a psychologist, therapist, author and founder of EMETT (“Emotional Maturity Established Through Torah”)-a network of self-help groups
This week’s parsha marks another new beginning in our public reading and personal understanding of the Torah. Whereas the first two books of the Torah are mainly narrative in nature and content, with personal stories of our forefathers, the book of Vayikra is mainly a book of laws and commandments and of the nature of purity and impurity, sacrificial offerings and priestly obligations.
   An interesting question arises as to why the book is called “Vayikra”= “And He called” (And G-d called Moshe). Perhaps, it would be best to call it “Sacrifices” or “Atonement”. It doesn’t make sense that the book is named “And He called”.
For the almost 40 years in the desert G- d had spoken only to Moshe. Moshe would then deliver G-d’s words to the people accurately without additions or deletions. Following the delivery of the exact words G-d had spoken, Moshe would then elaborate and explain the meaning and application of G-d’s words. Matan Torah (Revelation-when we received the Torah) was the single exception. Matan Torah was the only time the nation heard G-d speak without the human buffer of Moshe’s ministry. This meant that for the better part of 40 years the Jews had to extend to Moshe absolute trust. They had to trust that the words he delivered to them were absolutely the same as the ones G-d had spoken to him.
It seems like there is a strong reliance of important information that had to be presented to the children of Israel. Therefore, it might be a splendid idea to explore the importance of the power of communication.
When one voices his opinion, is he understood?  It’s frustrating at times, when one expresses himself and he’s not being conveyed correctly. I believe, many of us have gone through that experience at one point or another. Perhaps, not being understood with mundane matters is simply, just an annoyance; however one can only hope, that the more important feelings are expressed fully to the highest degree. This is a frequent problem when there is a culture gap between parents and children or teachers and students.  However, even with one’s “own kind”, misunderstanding can be a dilemma.
 
Interestingly, one of the most famous routines, in American culture, by the 1940’s-50’s comedy team of Abbot and Costello, called “who’s on first”, involves misunderstanding. It was so popular; the routine was performed in front of the president of the United States, at the time. In the routine Abbot gives instruction how to play the game of baseball, by describing the position players.  He starts off by saying “who is on first, what’s on second and I don’t know is on third”. It seems like he’s not familiar with the players’ names however, Abbot is, in actuality really mentioning the names of the players. The name of the first basemen is indeed “Who”; the name of the second basemen is indeed “Whats”; the third basemen name is “Idontno”. It frustrates Costello to no end.
 It’s one of the most brilliant comedy routines ever made but, in reality, it is not a laughing matter. In essence we are laughing at ourselves. Perhaps, that is the reason for its popularity; it’s too close to home. We spend pain staking time and money, by taking courses, to make ourselves clear so we should not be misunderstood. It is said: “whoever has clarity, he possesses a gift!”
 We see from the Torah how a misunderstanding can be detrimental to our existence.
This communication gap is demonstrated very sharply when Rachel, Yaakov’s beloved wife, sees that her sister Leah keeps delivering one child after another, she turns to him with an impossible request:
“Grant me children or I will die.”
The enraged and perplexed Yaakov answers:
“Can I assume G-d’s role? He is the one who prevented you from having children.”
Rachel then goes on to offer him her maidservant as a surrogate mother and the issue seems to have been settled, but the Midrash (scriptures from our Sages) does not let Yaakov off the hook that easily:
G-d told Yaakov: “Is this a way to answer a woman in distress? I swear that one day your sons are going to plead for their lives from her son!”
The Midrash is based on the reappearance in Bereshit(50:19) of Yaakov’s three first words, this time said by Yosef, his son from Rachel, to his sons from his other wives:
This conversation took place after Yaakov’s burial. The brothers feared that now that Yaakov is gone, Yosef is going to take revenge for the suffering they inflicted on him, to which he answered: “Fear not! Can I assume G-d’s role?”

The Midrash claims that Yaakov’s punishment for the inappropriate way of speaking with Rachel was the sibling rivalry that tore his family apart and eventually humbled his children from Leah, Bilha, and Zilpa, as they had to bow down to Rachel’s own son, Yosef.

Before Rachel comes to speak to her husband, she is engulfed in feelings of sadness and frustration seeing that she has no children, whereas Leah, the once rejected wife, now has a seat of honor as the mother of Yaakov’s growing family. She feels estranged and alienated and she doesn’t see in her husband’s eyes the same sparkle that was there before.

She decides to let her husband to father a child through her maid, a common practice in the Ancient Near East, already tried by Sarah and Avraham, but first she wants to know that he understands her, that he has compassion for her.
She wants to convey her emotional turmoil to him and does it with full force:
“Grant me children, or else I’ll die!”
Perhaps, she was simply saying that without her husband’s love, and being outdone by Leah, she is as good as dead.

What Yaakov heard, however, was: “You are responsible for my sterility! Solve my problem!”
He cannot solve it, and he says it: “Can I assume G-d’s role? He is the One who prevented you from having children.”
These words hit her like a sack of bricks. Even though he meant that it is G-d, and not him, who is responsible for her situation and there is nothing he can do, no solution he can offer, she heard the emphasis on the word – you. “YOU are the one who has no children” the words explode in her ears “I already have children”. As Rashi puts it:
“I have children, G-d has made YOU, and not me, sterile”.

Yaakov should have said: “I know how you feel.” She would have retaliated with: “No, you don’t. You have your children, and as a man you will never know what it means to be barren.” He would have answered: “You are right, but I remember how my mother’s eyes would fill with tears when she spoke about the twenty first years of her marriage, years of solitude, longing and despair.”
Only after commiserating with a woman, is the man allowed exploring possible solutions. Yaakov might have directed the conversation towards her thoughts on what should be done, and she would probably say that he should pray for her, spend more time with her.

It was a terrible misunderstanding and miscommunication which led to much strife in the family, and possibly even to the exile in Egypt. It is also an important lesson to all of us, to be better listeners and to try first to understand our conversational partner and only then offer, if applicable and necessary, a solution.

DIRECT COMMUNICATION

We learn much from Yehuda’s ability to be a leader. Immediately before Yosef’s dramatic confession that he is his brother, Yehuda steps up to the plate to confront Yosef.  
In Yehuda’s entire passionate address to Yosef (Gen. 44:18-34), he added no information or arguments which weren’t already known to Yosef. What was his intention in reiterating the information to Yosef, and what did he hope to accomplish by doing so?
The Bet HaLevi explains that Yehuda realized that the brothers’ original interactions with Yosef seemed bizarre and mystifying. They told him that they came to buy grain, and he responded that they were spies. They answered that they were honest, and he told them that now they had proven his claim that they were spies. Since Yosef’s responses didn’t seem to correspond to the brothers’ statements, it occurred to Yehuda that perhaps the miscommunication was due to the translator, who wasn’t accurately relaying to Yosef the content of what the brothers had said, but was instead fabricating statements which they had never made.
In order to clarify whether this was the case, Yehuda asked for permission to review the entire dialogue directly in the ears of Yosef, without the involvement of the translator. In order to preempt Yosef from responding that he didn’t understand the Hebrew language that they spoke, Yehuda stated that Yosef was like Pharaoh. If Yosef would now claim to be unfamiliar with their language, this would imply that Pharaoh didn’t know it as well, an inference which would be disrespectful to Pharaoh and therefore forbidden to make.
 We see the importance, on Yehuda’s part to clarify. One has to take lesson and not let the moment depart without clarity. Here, Yehuda put his foot down and made waves in order to do so. Although, there were different circumstances for Yehuda to do so then it was at a time for Rachel. The common denominator is that they both were under tremendous pressure. Yehuda’s Olam Haba-entrance in the next world was at stake because Benyamin’s, whom he swore to return unscathed, life, was as good as dead if he remained a prisoner in Egypt. Rachel’s pain and anguish, though, of not having children was enormous!!!
So we see the importance to go against the grain of life and to be supersensitive to make sure situations are not clouded.
 In our efforts, though, to clarify and not be misunderstood we can come across some difficulties. Many Psychologists urge people to, “Share your feelings,” and “Talk it out until the problem is resolved.” However, this advice can be disastrous! Not everyone values emotional honesty. Not everyone has time to listen. And a lot of people will use your personal information against you!
The reality is that not everyone is capable of “hearing” and empathizing. In fact, empathy is a rare quality, which depends on one’s personality type.
According to the Myers-Briggs personality system – people are either dominant Thinkers or dominant Feelers. Thinking types (60% of men and of 40% women) have little interest in the world of feelings. They feel no urge to share personal feelings and are irritated and bored by those who do. They often do not even know what they feel and may not care. They are focused on functioning, not feeling. In fact, they feel more powerful and in control when they do not expose their feelings. In contrast, Feeling types (60% women, 40% men) are concerned with their feelings and distressed if they cannot share them. When these two types get together, there is likely to be a lot of mutual frustration, because each has demands which the other cannot meet.
One also has to be aware, when sharing will overwhelm others. It is “immodest” to share strong feelings of grief, fear or rage, especially around children, who need to see adults as a source of security and strength. To expose these feelings is just as immodest as exposing parts of the body which should be kept covered if the other person is incapable of receiving your pain with empathy and compassion.
Therefore we have to balance the ability to clarify without imposing on others, and divulging, information that can hurt us and our loved ones!!
 The Book of Vayikra is called its name because its intrinsic complex laws need one to deliver the proper accurate detail. One person that’s trustworthy, that did not misunderstand G-d’s message and will not be misunderstood is Moshe.
Moreover, was the nation’s response at the time of Matan Torah. “…You (Moshe) speak to us and we will listen and do not let G-d speak, we are afraid that we will die.” In essence, at Matan Torah, the nation willingly relinquished a degree of control they otherwise would have had over the validation of G- d’s word. By asking that Moshe act as the intermediary between themselves and G-d they proclaimed their willingness to trust Moshe to faithfully deliver the word of G-d. Moreover than that was the implicit trust that they would listen to Moshe even if he had chosen to alter the word of G-d.
From that moment and on, because of their choice and because of their eventual sin, the nation did not hear G-d speak again. In its place they were given the prophecy of Moshe and the ongoing manifestation of G-d’s will in the universe through natural law and miracles. In its stead, G-d gave them exactly what they had requested. Moshe would speak and they would hear the word of G-d through him

CREATIVITY, MAN’S GIFT

March 12, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
CREATIVITY, MAN’S GIFT
A 197 feet long table, with room for more the 300 participants, was assembled by the Bnei Brak-based Coca Cola Israel company, in what is said to be the longest Shabbat dinner setting ever. Arranged on it was the traditional Shabbat fixings, including china plates, crystal goblets, Kiddush wine, challa bread, and, of course, dozens of Coca Cola bottles.
 
Many of us have dealt with people who are never satisfied. These people often complain and are critical about everything. They’re not happy with anyone, including themselves for that matter. I guess it’s impossible to not be subjected to this kind of negative energy of these personalities. Perhaps it comes with the territory; territory called – LIFE. Does this sound familiar?
           Rabbi Simcha Bunim (1767-1826) was a beloved Chassidic Rabbi whose many disciples would flock to be with their Rebbi. They would see him during the week or make arrangements to spend a Shabbat with him. One such devoted chassid, a very bitter and critical individual, traveled to see Rabbi Simcha but he arrived after Shabbat was over. When the Rebbi asked  where he had been, he replied with an attitude that he had actually been detained so many times that he had to spend Shabbat elsewhere. The Rebbi listened to this harsh man’s story and told him the following: “Shabbat is actually a very kind and gracious host and it treats its guests with dignity. For example, when Rosh Chodesh (1st day of the New moon) comes on Shabbat, Shabbat is kind enough to give up both the regular reading of the MAFTIR (Torah portion) and the MUSAF prayers to its guest – Rosh Chodesh. When YOM TOV (holiday) occurs with all its joy and splendor, Shabbat not only steps aside for the reading of the MAFTIR and its recitation of MUSSAF, it also gives a way for the reading of the Torah itself.
When Yom Kippur comes and brings with it the wonderful opportunities of pardon and forgiveness, not only does Shabbat give a way to the Mussaf prayer and Torah reading, but even the Shabbat meals themselves are set aside in Yom Kippur’s honor. However, when the somber Tisha Be Av with its unwelcome sadness and depression tries to come on Shabbat, a different attitude prevails. The Shabbat says: “No, you wait and come after Shabbat!! Perhaps you’re not making it here this Shabbat is a message from above! Unhappiness, and those who bring it are not welcome until the joy of Shabbat is over. Change your ways and Shabbat will welcome you as well!”
What’s all the hoopla that the day of Shabbat should be happy, special and relaxing? What about Sunday? Perhaps, with one’s hectic schedule, make the day of rest every other week? Why must we have the constraints of not turning on the lights or going for a drive?
The answer is that it is physically installed within us to Relax on Shabbat!
       Augustus the emperor of ancient Rome wanted to improve the economic conditions in his time. So he implemented 10 days a week instead of our customary 7. The Roman emperors operated on chutspah and lunacy. (By the way, ever wonder why August has 31 days, as opposed to 30?- it ruins the sequence of every other month having 31 days?! This is because Augustus was jealous of  Julius Ceaser (July), who got 31 days in his month while he, Augustus, would only have 30. After some time of the 10 day work load, the authorities saw – the efficiency rate decreased! They realized that it’s built in in every human the propensity to rest every seventh day!
Let’s ask another question found in the Zohar about Shabbat and then we’ll be able to shed some light on the topic of Shabbat…
It says VAYEH’VARECH HASHEM ET YOM HASHEVI’EEY-G-d blessed the seventh day. If we go out to work from Sunday to Friday – shouldn’t G-d bless the workdays instead? Why is He blessing the day of rest?
In this week’s parsha is the focal point of not performing work on Shabbat. It’s interesting because the language the Torah uses is MELACHA-work. The reason why  the other, more popular word – AVODA is not used is because, linguistically, although in English they both mean “work”, they translate differently in Hebrew. Any act can be called AVODA, even if it involves no skill and changes or improves nothing. Such acts include carrying stones or running.
By contrast, by and large, MELACHA applies only where change is effected for the purpose of improvement. Such acts include building, destroying in order to rebuild and erasing in order to write. Study and knowledge must proceed MELACHA. We must know – when and with what tool to work. It includes every means of improving the world!
 
One should know, there is a very important fundamental concept in Judaism. The Torah writes VEH’HALACHTA BEDRACHAV-and we should follow in (G-d’s) ways.  Therefore we can deduce,  to the area of creativity as well: G-d is a Creator and therefore each of us must be a creator like Him. G-d said, “Let there be light,” and so we have to bring light where there is darkness; He created a world, so too must we summon all our powers of creativity to advance civilization – be it in medicine, engineering, technology or any other human endeavor. We must use our creativity and ingenuity to improve the world for the benefit of all humankind. In so doing, we imitate G-d; just as He is the Creator, we become creators as well.
       We learn – the Torah forbade on Shabbat, by and large, only creative work.
      Rabbi Yehuda – the prince, who was the author of the MISHNA, happened to be good friends with Mark Anthony, the Roman High in command. One Friday night Anthony made a spontaneous surprise visit to Rav Yehuda. Rav Yehuda said: “Please, come, join me for Shabbat dinner”. Anthony was amazed and delighted at the delicious soup that he had at the meal. He asked Rav Yehuda: “This is the most delicious soup I had ever tasted. What’s  the recipe?
       Rav Yehuda replied:  “If you’d like – my chefs will give over to your chefs the recipe after Shabbat”.
       After Shabbat Rav Yehuda’s chefs did exactly as instructed. Six Months later, though, Mark Anthony visited Rav Yehuda, however he was very cold and distant. Rav Yehuda asked: “What’s wrong?” Anthony replied: “I could not duplicate the delicious taste of the soup. Even though my chefs duplicated the exact  instructions, it didn’t come out the same. What was the missing ingredient?” He was almost demanding!
      Rav Yehuda smiled and said: “The missing ingredient is Shabbat!”

      Let’s try to understand – why we should be happy on Shabbat and what is so special about the foods.  The Torah says -SHABBAT VAYINAFASH. Shabbat means to return! Where are we returning to? We are returning to the ROOTS! What is the meaning of the ROOTS?  At the Roots – WE ARE UNITED WITH OTHER SOULS!

      What does the word –  VAYINAFASH mean?  VAYINAFASH means – to REVIVE! We revive – what is important in life!
Let’s explain: the key word is creativity! There are two kinds of creativity, external and internal, and both are important. Sometimes we need to stop the external activity so that we can be internally focused. The internal creativity is to create a bond to our family and brethren. It’s a chance for unification and understanding.
       Judaism is all about the family! Our busy schedules, in hectic New York, doesn’t allow us to communicate properly with the ones we love.  If one ever notices a family sitting together at the dinner table during the week, it’s rare that they’re all together to begin with, everyone is in their own world. One is entranced in the laptop that’s placed on the table; one is talking on the cell phone to his friend. HELLO!! Is this Family Time? No, its just a bunch of individuals eating at a table!
       At the Shabbat table, if done properly, there are no electronic gadgets. One is forced to look at the person next to him. As a matter of fact, he might even listen to what he or she has to say. WOW!! On Shabbat we are not tied to a schedule, therefore, prone to connect to the family!
       We learn – when our forefather, the newlywed Yitzchak, brought his bride, Rivka, into his deceased mother’s tent, the candles in the tent were re-lit once again! It was lit from one Friday night to the next! The Torah hints – the “family” was re-established and revived through the building relationships of Shabbat!
       The Shabbat table is all about love! We read,  before the beginning of the meal, ESHET CHAIL, woman of valor, written by King Solomon (Shlomo). Shlomo took excerpts from the eulogy recited by Avraham to his wife Sarah. The tradition is 4000 years old! We see again, it’s designed  to enhance the love between husband and wife!
       Shabbat, though, is not the end means. If one communicates at the Shabbat table with his children and gives them the proper CHINUCH-education, then the family lineage, the Torah Mesorah, the Torah message continues!
       For this reason G-d blessed the seventh day – VAYEVARECH! IF ONE HAS PEACE AND UNDERSTANDING WITH HIS FAMILY AND FELLOW JEWS ON THIS DAY, THEN HE WILL BE BLESSED ETERNALLY THROUGH HIS POSITIVE INFLUENCE ON HIS CHILDREN AND HIS BRETHREN! For this reason – THE SOURCE OF THE BLESSINGS – BRACHA- FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK IS FROM SHABBAT!
      Once, when I was a senior in high school, many of my friends were planning on going to the Billy Joel concert. Many were planning to attend including a few girls of interest. This artist was the hottest ticket back then. The problem was it was on a Friday night! I was Shommer Shabbat! I knew – my father wouldn’t approve of me going, however, he was not the type to force me to stay home. He was not like that. During the moment of making a decision, I kept on envisioning my father with a disappointed look if I went. I decided to STAY HOME and have a Shabbat dinner with the folks! Nevertheless, I was upset, to say the least, and it showed a bit. I felt miserable in the beginning of the night. However, as the night progressed, with my parents loving warmth and good food, I began to applaud my decision!
       Shabbat table has that effect –  if done right!

What is a woman’s role in Judaism?

March 12, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of  Rabbi’s Yissachar Frand, Yossi bilus also contributing Marina Goodman, Esther Matmon and Dr. Abba Goldman
Bnos Malka Academy – girls school located in Queens
Dr. Jessica Jacob is an obstetrician-gynecologist in New Hyde Park, New York and is affiliated with North Shore University Hospital. She received her medical degree from NYU School of Medicine and has been in practice for 31 years. Dr. Jacobs balances marriage, children and grandchidren, successful practice and a very strict orthodox life
Hillary and Bill Clinton stopped by a gas station to fill up their tank for their long journey back to New York. The gas attendant smiled and shmoozed with Hillary as if he knew her from the past.  After leaving, Bill asked Hillary “how do you know him?” Hillary replied “I once dated him”. With a snicker, Bill said to Hillary “you see, picking me was the right choice…..I became a President”.  Hillary countered back “if I would have married him, he would have been a President”.
 It’s a cute joke as a matter of fact, interestingly, the Gemara teaches us that women were born with a BINA YETERA-an extra intelligent sensory, where she can see what men can’t and man needs that. Rav Chaim Volozhin has a beautiful interpretation of the verse EZER K’NEGDO-man’s helper. An expression found pertaining to Eve, who helped man, her husband, Adam, to build the world. However, the literal meaning of K’NEGDO doesn’t mean “helper”, in fact quite the contrary; it could imply “against him”. Rav Chaim is emphatic in his interpretation. She should not be afraid to voice her opinion and on many occasions it very well can be the opposite opinion. A wife is not supposed to be a “yes lady”.   Men are from Mars and women are from Venus and each come to the table with a different perspective of how to achieve the goals set out by the couple.
 We see G-d telling Avraham to listen to his wife Sarah and confront his other son, Yishmael asking him to leave the house because Sarah saw him as a bad influence on her son, Yitzchak. It seemed like Sarah had a greater vision of the situation at hand.
Rivka, Yitchak’s wife, daringly orchestrated that the brachot should be given to the younger son- Yaakov as appose to Eisav. Rivka knew he was the right choice to be the air-apparent.
The question asked is what exactly is the BINA YETERA-an extra intelligent sensory and how do women use it to improve the world?
Dr. Goldman says women are more deeply inspired then men; they are unwilling to switch gears, while men did switch gears by fluctuating between believing in G-d one moment, and turning to Golden Calf the next.
This explains Rabbi Yissachar basis perspective on the verse in this week’s parsha.    After Moshe called the people together and urged them to donate to the Tabernacle, the people started bringing the material. “And the men came upon the women (al haNashim)” [35:22].  The commentary Da’at Zekeinim m’Baale HaTosfot, provides an interesting interpretation. The pasukim [verses] reveal that the donated items were various types of women’s jewelry. The Da’at Zekeinim comments “and nevertheless the women participated and were meticulous to contribute in the Service of Heaven”. The pasuk is teaching us that the men took the women to donate the gold from their jewelry to the Mishkan, thinking that the women would be reluctant to do so. However, in actuality, the women gave willingly. Therefore, the Da’at Zekeinim adds, the women were given a reward that they were excluded from having to do work on Rosh Chodesh. This is a custom cited in Shulchan Aruch, that women do not do work on Rosh Chodesh [The new moon (beginning of a new lunar month)] [Orach Chaim 417:1]. At what point in time did the women receive this holiday? They received this holiday at the time of the building of the Mishkan, when they distinguished themselves through their willing donation of their jewelry to the Service of G-d.
The Da’at Zekeinim explains further that during the incident of the Golden Calf, the men took their wives’ jewelry by force. The women had refused to contribute to the Golden Calf. In contrast, by the building of the Mishkan, the women wanted to donate their jewelry. According to the Medrash, the contrast is even starker. The Medrash records that in relation to the Mishkan, there were in fact many men who were reluctant to give their money, while the women were universally enthusiastic.
The Da’at Zekeinim theorizes that because the Mishkan was erected on Rosh Chodesh Nissan, it was specifically Rosh Chodesh Nissan which was originally given to the women as a work-free festival. The Da’at Zekeinim concludes that the custom to refrain from work on every Rosh Chodesh was a derivative of this original holiday.

What is the significance of Rosh Chodesh that it was seen as a fitting holiday to give to the women?
Rabbi Frand saw a beautiful interpretation in the sefer [book] Shemen Hatov by Rabbi Dov Weinberger, which answers this question. Later in the parsha, the pasuk says, “And he made the Kiyyor of copper and its base of copper from the mirrors of the legions [women] who massed by the entrance of the Tent of Meeting [Shmos 38:8]. There is a beautiful Rash”i here that elaborates: “The women of Israel had used these mirrors when beautifying themselves.”
Rash”i explains why these mirrors were so precious to G-d. When the Jews were enslaved in Egypt, the men gave up hope. They did not want to live with their wives. They did not want to have children. The thought of fathering children who would be born into and live and die in slavery was overwhelmingly depressing. As the Medrash in Shir HaShirim describes, the women went out into the fields and beautified themselves in front of their mirrors and convinced and persuaded their husbands to live with them and to have children. Those mirrors represented Klal Yisroel. Had it not been for those mirrors and that makeup and the beautification efforts of those women, there would not have been a Jewish nation. Consequently, G-d insisted that those precious mirrors did in fact belong in the Mishkan.
We see that those women exhibited the attribute of faith in redemption. When all seemed bleak and full of despair, when no future seemed to exist, when there appeared to be no purpose in having children, the women retained a hope in the future. The women kept the dream of rebirth alive. When the men were feeling down and were ready to give up, it was the women who insisted “We must go on.” When the time to build the Mishkan arrived (according to many Rishonim this was after the sin of the Golden Calf), the men said, “We don’t want a Mishkan”. The Mishkan represented a great descent from spiritual heights for the Jewish people. Had there not been a sin of the Golden Calf, there would have been no need for a Mishkan. The Shechinah [Divine Presence of G-d] would have permeated the entire camp.
There would have been no divisions — such as “The Camp of the Divine Presence”, “The Camp of the Levites”, “The Camp of the Israelites” — within the Jewish people. The entire camp would have been a “Camp of the Divine Presence”. We would have been on such a high spiritual level that G-d would not have had to confine Himself to a single Mishkan [Tabernacle].
But after the sin of the Golden Calf, G-d said that He could no longer dwell among the entire camp. He needed a special place — the Mishkan. Consequently, to the men, the Mishkan represented, not a spiritual height, but spiritual compromise and descent. The men lost their enthusiasm for contributing to the Mishkan. They were reluctant to donate their gold and silver.
The women, however, again prevailed. They came forward enthusiastically saying, “We must go on; do not despair; do not dwell on the negative; there must be a future; there must be rebirth; there must be renaissance”. This is a unique attribute of women! They demonstrated this attribute in Egypt, they demonstrated it by the Golden Calf, and they demonstrated it by the Mishkan, and it says in the Torah that in the merit of righteous women – Moshiach will come with its redemption!
This spirit, our Sages say, is most appropriately rewarded through the festival of Rosh Chodesh. Rosh Chodesh represents rebirth, renaissance, and renewal. “This month for you is the beginning of all months…” [Shmos 12:2]. In a homiletic sense, the word haChodesh (this month) is related to haChidush (this renewal). The moon drifts further and further away from the sun, becoming smaller and smaller, until we think it has disappeared. And yet, it comes back, renewed and refreshed. Our righteous women symbolize this power of renewal in the Jewish people. Therefore, it was only right that the women be given Rosh Chodesh as their own private holiday.

One can take this concept further; the whole physiological make up of a woman is based on renewal. Their monthly cycle is testimonial to this. At a certain time of the month they are able to mimic G-d and create. When opportunity is missed, the body rejuvenates itself and they try again. This power to create was not trusted upon men; it was the women that have the power physically and in all the other aspects that comes with it.

TODAY’S MODERN WOMAN

Lubavich headquarters gathering of women teachers all over the world
Women were given the privilege of being the makers of Jewish homes. The Hebrew word for “homemaker” is “akeret habayit”.
“Akeret” is the feminine version of “ikar”, which is the “central aspect”, or “the essence of something”. “Bayit” usually means “house” or “home.” The Temple that stood in Jerusalem was called the “Beit HaMikdash”, “beit” meaning “house of” and “hamikdash” literally meaning “holiness”. Often, it is referred to simply as “HaBayit,” “the House”. Thus, in Hebrew the same word is used for both a “home” and “the Holy Temple”. In fact, the purpose of a “home” is to be a “mikdash me’at,” a “miniature sanctuary”.

For an akeret habayit, there is no contradiction between valuing her central position in the home and developing her interests outside of it. A traditional Jewish woman who works outside the home considers herself every bit an akeret habayit as a woman who stays home. There is no “housewife” versus “career woman” dichotomy… In “Eishet Chayil,” the prayer that is recited at theFriday night Shabbat table-the ideal woman is described as an expert businesswoman.

Over thousands of years, girls were educated at home, by their mothers. However, the western world proved to be difficult to maintain the spiritually enthusiastic Eshet chail. It wasn’t until Sarah Schenirer, who was a pioneer of Jewish education for girls. In 1917 establishing the Beis Yaakov school network in Poland. She saw girls being uneducated in basic Torah knowledge to an extent that they desecrated the Sabbath. Schenirer started to give classes in her workshop (she was a seamstress).  The main goal of the schools was “to train Jewish daughters so that they will serve the Lord with all their might and with all their hearts; so that they will fulfill the commandments of the Torah with sincere enthusiasm”.

How important it is for a Jewish girl today to have a strong Torah education. If today’s women only knew the important role they have in maintaining the Jewish home, if they only knew their lone role to renew, to reinvigorate hope, they would approach life with a strong vigor. Rosh Chodesh is the Jewish woman’s holiday; it’s a time for her to celebrate the unique qualities she has, the unique qualities in maintaining the bait-house of G-d and raise banners by giving it over to the future generations by properly raising children in Torah environment who will continue the strong chain of our nation to continue to serve G-d and thus merit even more of G-d’s love and protection!

A special gift any spouse would love

March 9, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of  Rabbi Yissachar Frand
How wonderful it would be if our wise human nature can be intuitive enough to appreciate what life’s gifts are. It’s sometimes a shame that one realizes after the fact. What often happens, when we pursue that what we rejected and then afterwords try to reconnect again, however, by then it’s too late.
After hearing this fascinating story from Rabbi Yissachar Frand, I realized something about myself and my family and realized how the Torah is the Emet. The two stories main message, I believe,  are the essence,  of my personal existence.
Rabbi  Yissachar Frand found this particular story from the Sefer  Otzrot HaTorah:
A Jew named Rav Simcha Kaplan was a Rabbi in Tzfat. When he was younger he studied in the Mir Yeshiva in Poland and he recalls the following story. He used to board by a couple who lived near the Mir Yeshiva. One Friday morning, he heard the wife repeat to her husband several times “Make sure you come home early for Shabbos. When Simcha arrived later in the day, he saw that the wife was waiting by the window and she was full of anxiety. He asked her, “What are you so worried about?” She says “I’m worried about Shabbos!” He said, “It is not going to be Shabbos for another 4 hours, what are you so worried about?”
She responded with the following story: We were childless for many years. Finally, we had a child. We raised the child, but he was sickly. He did not grow, he did not eat, he was weak, he did not walk until he was much older. He was very frail. We consulted with the doctors here in Mir. They sent us to a specialist in Vilna who told us that the child had a heart problem. The specialist said “There is nothing I can do for this child. He will only live a couple of more years. There is nothing more anyone can do for this child. Do not waste your money. Do not waste your time. You will only have the child for a couple of more years.” They were heart-broken. Someone advised them that on the way back from Vilna to Mir, they should stop in Radin and ask the Chofetz Chaim for a blessing. This was late in the life of the Chofetz Chaim. He was already very weak and was not seeing people. They were not able to arrange a visit at first, however, with some difficulty they finally were able to see him. They told the Chofetz Chaim their situation about their son and begged him to do something for them. The Chofetz Chaim said “There is nothing I can do for you. I am very sorry.” The person who arranged the meet, who had accompanied them, then yelled out, “but it is their only child!” The Chofetz Chaim said”, “It is an only child? Then I will tell you what to do!” He spoke to the mother and said “I want you to accept upon yourself from this day on that every Erev Shabbos by noon you will have the table already set for Shabbos and have the candles ready to be lit. I want that from the time you light Shabbos candles, nobody in the house will do any melacha [forbidden labor].” (Even though according to the strict law, when a woman lights candles 18 minutes before sunset, other members of the household can still do melacha until sunset.) The woman readily accepted this proposal.
By the time they arrived back in Mir — a two day journey from Radin – the child was already showing signs of improvement. He started eating, he started gaining weight, and so forth. They brought the child back to the doctor in Mir and he was astounded by the improvement. He insisted they go back to the specialist in Vilna to show him the child and paid for their journey. The specialist saw the child’s improvement and refused to believe that it was the same child.
But this story is somewhat perplexing. Why is it that the Chofetz Chaim only seemed to have mercy for the child when he heard that it was an only child? What if she had 10 other children? Would the Chofetz Chaim not have been sympathetic to the plight of the parents and the sickly child in that situation? Furthermore, what kind of “segulah” is this business of being ready for Shabbos at mid-day, several hours before the halachic arrival of Shabbos? The whole story requires explanation!
Rabbi Frand heard an explanation of what this story is all about from Rav Mannis Mandel. Rav Mandel said the Chofetz Chaim was not a Chassidic Rebbe and he was not a miracle worker. But the Chofetz Chaim understood the meaning of a pasuk in Chumash. “And the Children of Israel shall observe the Shabbos (v’Shamru), to make the Shabbos an eternal covenant for their generations (l’Dorotom)…” [Shmos 31:12]
Rav Mannis Mandel explains that the word “v’Shamru” has two meanings. It can mean – you have to OBSERVE it (meticulously) or it can mean – you have to ANTICIPATE it (as in the pasuk “And his father SHAMAR et haDavar” [Bereshis 37:11]). The Chofetz Chaim interpreted: You want “l’Dorotom” – the preservation of your generations (through this only child). If this child will not live, then you will not have future generations. But the Torah says that if there is – v’Shamru- to observe and anticipate Shabbos, there will be l’Dorotom – future generations. Therefore, fulfill “v’Shamru” according to both meanings. The simple interpretation of v’Shamru is observing it. When you light candles, no one in your house should do any more melacha. But beyond that, v’Shamru also means to anticipate it. From noon on, I want you to expect and anticipate the Shabbos. Therefore, the table must be set and the candles need to be ready.
This is why the woman stood at the window. It was 12:00 o’clock and sunset was not until 5:00 o’clock. She was anxious — where is my husband? What was her problem? The answer is because she accepted upon herself to do more than merely observe the Shabbos. She needed to anticipate the Shabbos as well. That is the interpretation of the story: She fulfilled both aspects of “v’Shamru.” Therefore, they saw in their family “l’dorotom” (future generations).
After reading this story, I’m compelled to inform the readers of my personal story.
One of the reasons my parents settled in the United states arriving in 1960 is because they had difficulty in having children. They were married for ten years before they made the  pilgrimage to New York. After a year they went to see the Lubavitcher Rebbe for a bracha. The Rebbe said to my parents “commit to be total Shabbat observers right at this very moment and you’ll have a baby boy in nine months.”.  My parents committed. A month before I was born my father visited 770, the Lubavitch head quarters, motzei Pesach-end of Pesach, where the custom is to celebrate, where the Rebbe called out in the crowd my father’s name, signaling him to come over. He then, assured my father everything is progressing well and that my parents will have, G-d willing, a baby boy next month.
Although, at times, one is guided by messengers, in the right path, and in this case it was, a great tzadic, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, who pushed my parents to be Shabbat observers, however, it could, very well be others. Nevertheless, the message is clear, Shabbat is powerful!! Shabbat is a game changer, Life changer!!

I found a very interesting observation by the Sfat Emet-Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter (1847-1905)
We are focusing here on the word “shamor”. The pasuk that “shamor” calls up in our minds is: ‘Shamor et yom Ha’shabbot…’ That is: ‘Take proper care of Shabbot’.) (Devarim, 5, 14).
The Sfat Emet reacts to this idea with astonishment. He asks: Why does Shabbos need special care? He replies by alluding to a classic Medrash (a body of exegesis of Torah texts along with homiletic stories as taught by Chazal (Rabbinical Jewish sages of the post-Temple era) that provide an intrinsic analysis to passages in the Tanakh.). Although This Medrash may seems a bit corny and not very understandable, however, after seeing this definition, it brought an entirely new perspective of the Medrash. The Medrash describes how, after the first week of creation, all the days of the week paired up with each other. Yom Rishon paired with Yom Sheini (Sunday with Monday), and likewise all the other days of the week — except Shabbot, which could find no mate. When Shabbot

 told  G-d how unhappy she was for lack of a mate, G-d replied: “Klal Yisroel-the Israelites will be ben zugeich (your marriage partner).” Thus, the Sfat Emet is telling us that just as a wife is given to her husband to provide her with proper care, (“husband” actually means “to take care of”), so, too, does Shabbot need us to take proper care of her. And, continues the Sfat Emet, our relationship with Shabbot is reciprocal; i.e., it goes in both directions. Thus, we are commanded (Shemot, 35: 3) to observe Shabbot wherever we live (“be’chol moshe’votei’chem”). So, too, Shabbot has stuck loyally with Klal Yisroel in all of our distant dwellings. Further, Shabbot gives chiyut (vitality; vibrancy) to all creation.  It is the source of all the brachot in the world and especially those who observe it amongst the Jewish people. In other words it’s like a marriage where each partner takes care of the other.
Interestingly, a marriage has to have its loyalty between the spouses. The Mechilta in Parshat Ki Sisa states that the words -Baynee u’bein Bnei Yisrael (which is also recited in the kiddush and prayer) imply that Shabbos is a covenant between G-d and the Jews, to the exclusion of being a covenant between G-d and idolaters. Now, this seems peculiar. We do not need a special drasha [exegesis] to teach that a Gentile is not commanded to observe the Sabbath. We know that there are 7 Noachide laws, none of which involves a Gentile keeping Shabbot.
In fact, by Shabbot – there is a unique prohibition. The Talmud [Sanhedrin 58b] teaches that not only is a Gentile not commanded to observe Shabbot, but on the contrary, a Gentile is not permitted to purposefully keep Shabbos! So the question is, why does the Mechilta find it necessary to marshal a special pasuk “Baynee u’bein Bnei Yisarel” to tell us that the mitzvah of Shabbot only applies to the Jewish people?

  The Rambam  writes in his Mishna Commentary that a Gentile who performs any of the commandments, receives some reward as one who “is not obligated but nevertheless fulfills”. In other words, if we were to see a Gentile putting on Tefillin, he has fulfilled a mitzvah and gets “some reward”.
However, the Brisker Rav points out, Shabbot is not like that. Shabbot is two things: It is a mitzvah [commandment] and it is a matanah [gift]. The Talmud [Shabbot 10b] quotes the Almighty telling Moshe “I have a wonderful present in my Treasure House and its name is Shabbot”. The present was given to the Jewish people. Any nation that was not a recipient of this present is not able to observe Shabbot and even if they go through the motions of observing it, they have not fulfilled any mitzvah.
Tzitsit is not a present. Matzah is not a present. Tefillin is not a present. Shabbos is! The novelty of the idea of the Brisker Rav is that in order to fulfill the mitzvah of Shabbot, one needs to be included among the recipients of the present. This idea is  emphasized in the  portion of the Shachris Amidah on Shabbot.
It is for this reason that a Gentile may not observe Shabbot. He is taking something that doesn’t belong to him!
Rav Moshe Shapira suggests that this is precisely what the above referenced Mechilta means. Baynee u’Bein Bnai Yisrael means “it is my present to you” — to the exclusion of a Gentile who is not even eligible to receive a reward as one who is not commanded but observes.

The matana – present is the bride!! She is given as a wedding present by G-d to the chattan (Jewish people) and only the chattan!!. A wife is not shared. Both Israel and Shabbot have to be loyal to each other. No outsider is allowed; loyalty in the marriage is expected. Both spouses have to take care of each other. Both infuse their input into the marriage and both have to commit to each other.
Rabbi Simcha Kaplan’ landlords commited to take care, to anticipate the Shabbot; they commited. In turn, Shabbot committed to them and revived their child. My parents also committed to Shabbot and in return Shabbot committed to them, G-d willing, for generations! Amein!

HANG EM HIGH

February 26, 2015 Holidays, Purim No comments
Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt Yossi Bilus, Yitzchak Aminov and Dr. Robert Goldman
New York has a lot to offer, both spiritually and materialistically, to the mild mannered observant Jew. First of all, one should know there is absolutely no excuse not to keep kosher. There are so many great restaurants and amazingly, many of them are open at anytime of the night. One, not only can always get something to eat, at the most absurd time, but he can be selective as well. With the convenience of the physicality comes the often celebrated American dream theme, of “opportunity”. We know a number of those success stories. It’s in the back of the many minds that success is imminent. However, many times there is often the temptation of greed in the pressure of reaching those dreams.It’s natural that one feels more spiritual at times than other times. This is where New York came in real handy after Purim ended 1 year. As a matter fact, it’s becoming a tradition ever since.

After feeling the Purim blues a good number of years ago (I guess I didn’t want it to end), I met a friend who took me to a very late Purim party. It was at the Yeshive Shar Yashuv. My family had gone to sleep already and I was still in the Purim celebration mode. To my surprise, it was a very good party. Every year they get a new band and every year it’s A plus and uplifting. The students and their Rabbis bond through the joy of the holiday. Everybody is drawn to happiness. Isn’t that amazing about New York? You could be celebrating Purim until the wee hours of the night. On this one particular occasion, as I was walking into the building of the yeshiva, I was startled for a brief second or two by noticing a Purim prank. Apparently, up in the rafters, were 10 dummies that look like they were being hanged. This was symbolic of Haman’s 10 sons who were hung on a tree.

The sages are puzzled by the dialogue that transpired between Haman and his wife Zeresh. After he came back from the party with King Achasverosh and Queen Esther, he felt really good. Then however, he passed by Mordechai the Jew. Apparently, he was the only one that did not respect and bow down to him. Haman was distraught and he said to his wife “nothing matters as long as Mordechai does not subordinate himself to me”. Funny, he was the second most powerful man in the world but the one Jew made a difference.

It seems like a non Jews of yesteryear knew more about our religion then the religious people of today.

So Zeresh replied strangely; “perhaps you should take Mordechai and hang him on the tree of 50 amot.” It’s weird that her advice was so detailed and descriptive. Why does it have to be 50? Why not 40 or 60? Also why did Zeresh choose the tree as the specific form of execution?  They were very creative back then on torture and death.

Apparently, though, she knew her history quite well:

Let’s understand what she meant. The first miscue of mankind we read about in the Torah is the sin of Adam and Eve. One has to ask himself, how did the snake convince Eve to eat from the tree? The scriptures say that she saw it was good.  What was good about the tree that it was good to eat?  Also, the snake repeats in his dialogue with Eve that death is imminent? It seems as if he’s conveying to her that it is worth it to reach.  She had to be a smart lady, nevertheless he convinced her.

Seems like snake had a game plan. We all know that when Moshe ascended up the mountain at Mount Sinai he reached 49 levels of intelligence. Reaching the 50th level would have required death because no man could reach 50 and still remain alive. Man always has a strong desire to reach great depths of intelligence. That pursuit is built in us. This was the snake’s selling point.  It doesn’t matter if you die or not. If you eat from the Tree of Knowledge, you reach hey euphoria of intelligence like no other, the grand prize 50.

Zeresh realized Mordechai was a tzadic and therefore a hard nut to crack. So she used the method of symbolism. Symbolism arouses certain compassion. It also evokes judgment, depending how you steer it. Here she intended on enabling G-d to scrutinize the Jews because of the negative symbolism.

 

Symbols provide us with the ability to communicate absolute values in a manner that goes beyond words. As a final example, consider what 9-11 would have been like without the American flag. How would each of us expressed the sorrow of the tragedy, the desire to embrace each other and give strength, the fear for our nation and the extraordinary solidarity of a people standing proudly and fiercely behind their President, if we did not have the American flag? What would we have done in its stead? How much poorer we otherwise would have been? Think symbolism and think our nation’s flag. How important is symbolism? How important is the flag?

 

In truth, everything has symbolic as well as pragmatic value. For example, Rav Hirsch Zt’l (Introduction to the Study of Symbolism) contrasted the symbolic meaning conveyed by words of farewell with the added meaning of a farewell accompanied by a warm handshake. Both the words and the handshake symbolize sorrow at parting and the longing to stay; however, words alone cannot convey the profundity extended through the tactile warmth of human contact and touch.

 

So we see that Zeresh’s plan was based on a very powerful concept. Seemingly her intention backfired. At the end, her husband Haman and their sons were the ones hung on the tree.

There is a common bond, unfortunately, between Eve and Haman. Greed was the weakness. Eve could have eaten from any of the trees except one, however she chose the tree of knowledge. Haman had everybody honoring him except one, Mordechai. Nothing mattered because he wanted it all

The symbolic act perpetrated from greed is presented though the tree. We have to know our place and not let our ambitions and success overtake our morals

Anti-semitism and emotions

February 26, 2015 parshat Tetzaveh No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Berel Wein,  Henoch Leibowitz z’l, Akiva Grunblatt,  Yaacov Menkin, Akiva Tatz and Dr. Abba Goldman


Who was the greatest Jewish King we ever had?
Chizkiyahu (Hezekiah) succeeded Achaz as King of Judah. He was the greatest of all Jewish Kings, excluding David and Solomon. There are opinions that he was the greatest of all Kings including David and Solomon! That’s interesting!! How can anybody be chosen over David as the greatest of all Jewish monarchs. Perhaps, we should explore why this opinion places Chizkiyahu in such high esteem.
It’s vital to bring out an important point in order to understand the answer to our question. Let’s bring an example. My grandfather, Moshe Kimyagaroff, was one of the captivating chazanim in Israel in the 1940’s and 50’s. When a chazzan has his hypnotic moment on the congregation, any interruption will ruin the appreciation of his skill. Apparently, the moment is very special and has great value because it sprouts within anybody who is listening to an enormous amount of emotions. The power of music can be very moving.
 This leads us to ask a question about us – Jews. We pride ourselves of being intelligent people.  Our am Yisrael learns plenty of Torah, Baruch Hashem. It is often expressed that Gemara sharpens the mind. So, if that’s the situation, what is in the forefront for our illustrious people, emotion or intellect?

This Shabbat we have a special, additional Torah reading, Parshas Zachor. That text (Devarim, 25: 17-19) teaches us the mitzva to remember to wipe out Amalek. Amalek is the descendant of Eisav, Yaacov – our forefather’s brother.
Parshas Zachor is the only Torah reading in the entire year which we are all obliged to hear — men and women — as a mitzva de’oraita (a Commandment specified explicitly in the Torah).
However, it’s interesting to note. There are no modern maps with “Amalek” listed. There is no Amalekite government, no UN representative, not even an Internet Country Code. The only people remembering Amalek are the Jews, and we have a Commandment to destroy their memory. It would seem that the best way to perform this Mitzvah is also the easiest — namely, to forget the whole thing.
Why, one may ask, is it so hard to find or identify an Amalekite?
Our Sages tell us that Sancheriv,(705 – 681 BC) the Assyrian king, forced the many nations that he conquered to leave their homelands and settle elsewhere. As a result of these mass population movements, the Sages say, we can no longer identify the nations to which the Torah refers — e.g., Amalek — with the present-day inhabitants of the lands that bear those historic names.
It seemed Sancheriv’s decision to relocate the original inhabitant was a homerun. No one will ever dispute his authority; no one will ever rebel. The reason for this is immigrants are not patriotic. They don’t care about the government, its laws and its people. For the most part, they want to succeed financially. This is their focus, negating much of the French benefits that the host country offers. Their children will enjoy the money earned by the hard working immigrants. However, the kids would be more patriotic then the parents. But that process takes many years and by then Sancheriv would have a firm hold on the country.  A basic example is no babysitter will care and do a better job taking care of the baby then the mother.
 That was the master plan, switch everybody around and rule the world. Sancheriv was able to sleep at night knowing the his empire is secure.
Who are Eisav’s descendants today? Who are the prime candidates?  It seems as if history has caused a split in Eisav’s personality (Amalek’s ancestors), so-to-speak, spreading his characteristics amongst his many descendants of Edom, which can include people as diverse as Russians, Italians, and Americans. This was partially due to Sancheriv’s mixing up the nations a couple of thousands of years ago when Assyria controlled the world of that time. (Brochot 28a)
For this reason, the power of Eisav has dissipated somewhat, limiting his ability to control the world and truly due to Yaakov’s descendants what he set out to do from the beginning – annihilate them. However, should the various parts of Eisav’s personality reunite in a coalition of nations, especially against Yaakov, then WATCH OUT!
However, it’s all speculations, on the whereabouts of Amalek and who they are might very well be a fruitless and perhaps dangerous witch-hunt in trying to locate such brutes. The key to understanding the commandment though lies in the verse that the Torah says about him: ” Who happened upon you (“asher korcha”) when you were on the road, after you left Egypt.” The key word here is “korcha.” In addition to its literal meaning (“happened upon you,”), this word is also rich in allusions. Thus, Chazal add: Amalek “cooled you off” (from the word “kor” –cold), reducing the warmth of your relationship with G-d.
 We see a pattern in the Torah where G-d invokes a tough response to those who defuse the spiritual obeisance. When Yitzchak was born to Avraham and Sarah, G-d’s representatives, his ambassadors in this world, after so many years, it was proclaimed a miracle. Naturally, they couldn’t have kids, however, its G-d that runs the show. But there was one person who belittled Yitzchak, who was the first baby born tiny – Og – the giant was nasty.  All the babies born till then were delivered fully developed. By making fun of tiny Yitzchak, saying “this little thing can’t survive”, he downplayed the miracle. G-d’s response was “the descendents of this little thing as you call him – will end your life”. The Jews of Moshe’s time disposed of Og.
 Another example: when Moshe hit the rock after G-d instructed him to speak to it. By hitting the rock Moshe missed an opportunity to enhance the moment to a great spiritual height. Speech is man’s precious commodity and should be used in the appropriate time.
It seems like something got away of spirituality; there was a divide between G-d and man, a barrier where one doesn’t have the ability at least for a moment, not to see clearly.
 Dr. Abba Goldman says: “one has to use emotions properly, at times it’s important to let your enthusiasm take over, however, at times emotions can be dangerous and one has to hold back; one has to use measure of control.”
  A prime example is the story of Esther on Purim.
Haman, the Amalekite, convinced king Achashveirosh to sign a decree killing all Jews at a certain date. Not known to the king his new Queen, which he has grown fonder and fonder towards her, over the short time since her being chosen, is Jewish. Esther, the Queen, devises a plan, carefully orchestrated, largely, with the help of her uncle, Mordechai. Esther will invite Haman to a dinner party that only will have the company of herself, the king and Haman, where she will disclose that “one evil man, intends to destroy my people”. Achashveirosh, at that point in time, is mesmerized with the charming Esther, will no doubt stop the decree.
 The bait was set and taken. All three were at the table and Esther, on cue ready, stands, to point the finger at Haman, as Achashveirosh asks “who is this person” (that wants to destroy your people). At that moment, strangely, the Sages say – Ester pointed the finger at Achashveirosh, indicating that he is that wicked, anti-Semite who wants to destroy the Jews. Quickly an angel came and redirected the finger at Haman.
  The sages asked, what was she thinking? All you had to do is follow the script. Why mess it up now? You’re so close to a successful mission!!
 The reason: why Esther acted that way is because of stress. Perhaps, the readers are familiar with stress. Under duress, Esther let her emotions take over for the reason that emotion is extremely powerful component found in all of us. When the emotions are distracted one can’t think straight.
WHY DO WE DRINK WINE ON PURIM?

 

 The simple explanation of the passage “When wine goes in, the secret comes out”, is when people get drunk, they blurt out what is in their heart, which is often embarrassing. Rabbi Akiva Tatz has a different explanation quoting the mystics. “What’s the secret”? He explains, “When wine goes in, one sees life in a clearer picture. He becomes more spiritual, discovering deep ideas and a thinking pattern that can never be expressed with words. Words are limited; they are specific, and one who consumes wine can never express the feelings he experiences”.

 The Talmud tells us that on Purim one should drink until he does not differentiate between “blessed is Mordechai and cursed is Haman.” This is not an encouragement to reach an unconscious drunken stupor; there is a more profound explanation. Perhaps, we are being told that on Purim we should utilize the power of wine to remove the obstacles between head and heart, to facilitate this internalization process so that we do not just know this, but to assure we bring it beyond the realm of the intellect into the emotions. The wine helps obliterate the cold nature, to break the barrier that doesn’t make us see clear.
 When a Jew drinks – the loving nature, the warmth, should emerge not the anger and coldness.
Our task and G-d’s task are different ones. G-d protects us from the physical Amalek, while it is our responsibility to battle the Amalek, i.e., the evil, within each of us. Moreover, G-d’s ability to destroy the physical Amalek’s of the world is dependent upon our destroying our own Amaleks. This is the meaning of the Gemara (Chullin 139a) which states: “Where is G-d alluded to in the Torah? In the verse (Bereishit 3:11), `Hamin ha’etz’ / From the tree from which I commanded that you not eat, did you eat?'” When Adam committed the first sin in history, he made possible the existence of Haman and Amalek. (Haman was a descendant of Amalek.). One of the key methods in accomplishing that goal is with the right emotions. It is vital that we not allow the Amalek-kor-cold emotions to take over us. Our emotion has to be channeled correctly.
 Perhaps, David was able to accomplish more in his tenure as King however, as Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt, Rosh Yeshiva of Chaffetz Chaim, says Chizkiyahu was able to master his emotions in the area of bitachon-trusting G-d. A sensitive area where one can lose appreciation of the moment if he lets the Amalek in him to take over.
When an incident happens in our lives – our first reaction is with our emotions, that’s what strikes first, so it’s very important to be able to use our head and not to be compulsive in the heat of the moment.

My Royal dining room Table……Heaven!!

February 20, 2015 Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Yissachar Frand, Baruch Dopelt , Yossi Bilus

A number of weeks ago the Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, advised all Jews living in France to return to their homeland, Israel. He saidFrance is not a safe place to live. Perhaps we should always be on alert where we live; no place is safe!!  Forest Hills beware!!
The reality is Jews should never get too comfortable. The mind set of all Jews should be to strive to return to the Holy-land. This being said, historically France has had some of the strongest and most important communities in the Jewish past. The great Rashi, an acronym for (Hebrew: רש”י, RAbbi SHlomo Itzhaki) a medieval French rabbi (22 February 1040 – 13 July 1105) who was, and is, the most influential commentator on our holy books, took residence there. There have been many others, as well,who have made their impact felt.

Rabbi Yissachar Frand quotes something mind-boggling from the Rabbeinu Bachaye (1255-1340) about a common practice in France’s illustrious past. “It is a custom of the pious people in France to use the wood from their dining room table to build their coffins for burial.” Think about the imagery. A man spends many occasions, and has many meals, with his friend around his dining room table. Then he goes to his friend’s funeral and he sees him being buried in the same wood that was his dining room table! Perhaps he may notice the ketchup stains from those french fries binges he had with his buddy. This strange custom is rooted in this week’s parsha.
The kohen had at his right hand the table – shulchan. It was made of acacia wood and overlaid with pure gold. Its size was 2 cubits (3 feet) in length by one cubit(1 1/2 feet) in breadth and a height of 1 1/2 cubits (2 1/4 feet). Around the table was a border of gold and then a little further in, on the table top, an additional border which would hold the contents in place. The table had four legs, and two gold plated poles were inserted through golden rings attached to the legs for transporting.
The purpose of the table was to hold 12 cakes of bread made of fine flour. They were placed there in two rows of six, each loaf representing one of the tribes of Israel (Lev. 24:8).
The Rabainu Bahaye goes through the symbolism of the Table and the “Show Breads” that were put on the Table. Then he says, quoting sources, that the term Shittim (acacia wood, from which the Table was made) is an acronym for Shalom, Tova, Yeshua, Mechila (Peace, Good, Salvation, Forgiveness). He points out that the Aron and the Altar were likewise made of acacia wood (Shittim) for the same reason.

What he is saying is that all the gifts — represented by Peace, Good, Salvation, and Forgiveness — that the Jewish people received during the time of the Temple, came about through the conduit of the vessels of the Temple.

Rabbeinu Bachaye goes on to ask that this is all fine and good while the Temple was standing — we had all these utensils to provide us with these wonderful blessings — but what do we have going for us now that we have been in Exile for 2000 years? He quotes a famous Talmudic passage “Now that the Temple is no longer standing a person receives atonement through his table” [Chagiga 27a]. What is our “Table” that atones for us now that we don’t have a Temple? It’s our dining room table.

A person is judged by others via his table manners – how he holds a fork, where he places his elbows on the table and whether he speaks while having food in his mouth.  How he conducts himself at the meal can be a deal maker or a deal breaker. He develops relationships through lunch and dinner appointments. There are times where some of the largest business transactions are made over a pizza!!

One has to remember though something crucial when having meals for the bracha that we mentioned above to formulate. What a person does with his dining room table – if he feeds the poor,  welcomes in the bride, etc. – acts of kindness encompassing the words of the Torah — that is his altar of atonement. When one sits at his Shabbat table and is surrounded by others with whom he is sharing his bounty, when he uplifts his guests and family spiritually, his table becomes his altar of atonement.

There are a number of incidences that illustrate the power of the table in a tremendous way.  The popular Billy Joel was performing a concert at Madison Square Garden on a Friday night in 1979, at the height of his popularity. It was the hottest ticket of the year. Many of my friends were planning to attend. It would have been a great opportunity to get to know a particular individual that I was interested in a bit better.  Unfortunately and disappointingly, to my surprise, I realized that I was the only shomer shabbat person amongst  my peers. Should I go or not go was the great debate going through my mind all week.  What will my father think? My father z’l was a man who never ruled with an iron hand; he never forced me to observe. However I was drawn to my parents great Shabbat table through love. It was relaxing, filled with singing, jokes, wonderful stories of our heritage, both personal, as well as about our nation, divrei torah and delicious foods. My  parents had the platform at the Shabbat table. I learned all about our rich family background and my father’s and mother’s personality shined during those moments.  I couldn’t imagine seeing my fathers eyes when I would tell him that I want to go to the concert. Although he wouldn’t object outwardly it would have hurt him immensely.

I came down to the Shabbat table upset, after deciding against going to the concert, since I felt like I really missed out.  However, that feeling changed as the warmth and the love resonated through the Shabbat performance of my parents.  I had no regrets; I felt just lucky to have experienced the Shabbat table.

R. Shimon says: “Three who ate at the same table and did not say any words of Torah it’s as if they ate from offerings of the dead [idol worship]”. This is perhaps one of the more famous mishnayot in Tractate Avot, if only because it led directly to the custom to have someone recite a devar Torah (a Torah thought), at a meal.

The Maharal begins the discussion by pointing out that the act of eating in particular is a time when we show our dependence on those who provide us with the food – it is where a servant or slave most directly gets sustenance from the master.  As such, a meal provides an opportunity to recognize explicitly our dependence on God.  To do so properly, however, we need to make clear that we rely on G-d for two aspects of our lives, the physical and the spiritual.  In addition, one of those aspects, the physical, will die and be gone forever; it therefore has only temporary value.  The other, the spiritual, is eternal.

When we most manifestly display our dependence on God, the Maharal continues, we need to insure that both aspects are included.  By discussing issues of Torah at a meal, we actively demonstrate our understanding of the two areas of our life where we enjoy God’s beneficence.  Otherwise, we are simply feeding our bodies, which is like serving a dead vessel, since the body itself has no staying power.

One always has to be sensitive and on the alert, for if not he may miss a valuable lesson from one who he encounters. Dating, when I was single, was a horrific experience for me, overall. However one learns about humanity, its vulnerabilities and its courage, through those trying experiences.

On one particular date I asked the girl what was the deciding factor in becoming observant of mitzvot. She said, “I was listening to lecture tapes and it was nice however it was a visit to one of my new shomer shabbat friends that changed me.  I arrived to their house on late Friday afternoon where the house looked like a war zone. Kids were fighting on line waiting for showers, clothes were everywhere, nonetheless everything cleared up miraculously a few minutes before the start of Shabbat. The girls were dressed like little angels as they lit candles with their mother and the boys marched out with there little suits accompanying their father to shul. When the boys came back they all said Shabbat shalom to each other before the whole family got to their seats at the table. It was a sight to see as everybody was listening attentively as the father of the house was saying the kiddush. There was no electronic gadget intruding into the moment, no telephone interruption, nothing was able to penetrate the privacy of this special time. Then they all received brachot from their parents. I was so taken by the experience, seeing such a serene, intimate family moment that I excused myself to go to the restroom where I started to cry. I knew then that is the life I want.

The purpose of the  custom of the Jews of France where they used the wood from their dining room table to build their coffins for burial– says Rabbeinu Bachaye — was to teach that a person will take nothing with him to the World of Truth except for the charity that he gave in his life and the goodness that he shared around his table. The charity, the guests, the widows, the orphans, the Baale Teshuva that one has fed, and the influence that one dispenses around his dining room table is all that he takes with him. The table is the altar of atonement for our generation — only Kindness and Truth accompanies us to the True World.

Father and Son Relationship

February 16, 2015 Uncategorized No comments

Father and Son Relationship

The most intriguing and fascinating items of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) are the Keruvim. They were found on top of the Aron. They were two child-like faces with wings pointed upwards. When the Israelites were close to G-d, they would embrace each other, and when the Jews were not on the standards that they should be, the Keruvim would face away from one another.

The sages say, when G-d wanted to give the Torah to the Jews, he asked for a guarantor. So the Israelites replied “Our Forefathers, Abraham, Isaac and Yaacov would be perfect.” G-d refused, stating “They owe me. How can they be guarantors?” An example was given, if a man wants to borrow money from someone and demands a guarantor, and the potential borrower says how about Joe? The potential lender refuses stating “how can he be a guarantor? He owes me money himself.”

G-d said to the Jews” bring me someone that doesn’t owe me.” The Israelites answered back “We know someone who doesn’t owe You a thing, the children; they’ll be the guarantors.”

Apparently, there are a number of different opinions as to who exactly were the Keruvim; some say it’s a boy and a girl; others say it was a boy and a man. Yechezkel’s vision was that of a boy and a man.

What’s the meaning of having a boy and a man on the faces of the Keruvim? Rabbi Noach Isaac Olbaum explains this is the essential part of

Judaism. It’s the father and son relationship that’s crucial to the continuous existence of our nation. It’s the father’s obligation to pass down the tradition to his son. Without a doubt, the fact that the Keruvim were placed in the holies of holies on top of the Aaron shows the importance of the relationship between the father and son. You can’t get holier than that place.

Therefore, we have to examine and fortify our relationship with our children. It should be healthy and communicative. The parody of the American dysfunctional family is brought out very well in the satirical TV series, The Simpsons. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen television and that show in particular. The show, indeed, well written, was very funny but very sad; but most important, a very true portrayal of many family structures, or I should say dis-structure in the western world.

The Torah emphasis the importance of the bond of father and son and the crucial treasure the Torah, passing down the tradition, that’s at stake. So perhaps what we could do is go out for a burger with our son; have a catch when the weather gets nice and most important, learn Torah with him. It’s important and it’s a priceless moment.

Pagen Ritual or the Truth

February 16, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
 
 

The obvious question that everybody on the planet asks is: “aren’t the KERUVIM-the angel like statues on the ARON a form of idol worship?”

 

Even if the Jews of that time period were 100% believers, wouldn’t it still be putting a stumbling block in front of a blind man, considering that this was the number one temptation of that time period?

Boy, the KERUVIM sure seem to go against a prime directive of “do not make for yourself any carved idols or any likeness of anything that is in the heaven above or here on earth below” (Shemot 20:4). We all know how our forefather, Avraham, broke all the idols in his father’s store. Then he placed the hammer into the hand the the biggest idol and when his father came in, Avraham simply pointed to the last remaining idol, and said he did it!

 

Speaking of Avraham, we find a similar incident. What made the test of the AKAIDA (G-d told Avraham to slaughter his beloved son) more difficult was that all his life he was preaching to  the world “it’s not proper to sacrifice your children to your gods” and here he is, Mr. self-righteous doing the same!

 

Similarly, the Romans ridiculed us after they conquered and destroyed our Temple. They brought out the KERUVIM and said “look they worship idols just like we do, they are no different”.

 

The Abarbanel explains that images were only forbidden if it was the intention to worship them.

 

The KUZARI explains regarding the sin of the Golden calf that the Israelites did not deny G-d’s existence rather they only wanted to make their worship of Him more concrete.

 

Interestingly, G-d issued two commandments regarding engraved images that seem to contradict each other. This is reminiscent of the Talmudic dictum that “whatever the Torah forbade, it made permissible by other means”. Thus, when G-d said “do not make for yourself carved idols” He also said “make two KERUVIM”. Likewise, one is prohibited to marry the wife of his deceased brother, but is commanded to do so if he dies childless. We are forbidden to wear any garments made of wool and linen, but the next verse states “make yourself tzitzit on the four corners of your garment” and these garments may wool even if the corners are linen. The Torah states that “those who violate the Shabbat shall be killed”, yet He commands “On the Shabbat day, a two year old lamb without a blemish shall be brought”. Such an offering involves acts that violate the Shabbat.

 

All of the above do not come close to the wonderment expressed regarding the commandment of placing the KERUVIM on top of the ARON which mimics idol worship. It sounds heretical, but mustn’t we ask-“what was G-d thinking?”

 

Perhaps that’s exactly the point. We have no authority or right to probe into something that G-d did not provide us answers for. We just have to follow the commandment and do G-d’s will. We tend to forget the proper outlook we should have; our religion is a belief. That’s the challenge. Belief comes from the heart. So one should not say “HEY MAN PROVE IT”. We answer to him ” WELL CHABIBI HOW DO YOU FEEL?”

 

Still, the KERUVIM remain one of the most perplexing mysteries in our religion.

 

This Dvar Torah is the fruit of a quick conversation had with Rabbi Lenny Bromberg plus some thoughts culled from the Nachshoni.

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