Tricking Pharaoh: a lesson in life

January 22, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
Dvar Torah based on the writings of Y. Nachshoni on weekly parsha  
We see something very interesting in this week’s parsha. Every aspect in life is connected. Unfortunately, many times we’re not privileged to see the connection but sometimes we’re lucky and we can see the puzzle being pieced together.

In criminal law, entrapment is when a law enforcement agent induces a person to commit an offense that the person would have otherwise been unlikely to commit.

The Sages are puzzled why G-d had to trick Pharaoh into thinking that the Israelites were trapped in the dessert. Pharaoh, who was very intelligent, was obviously afraid of pursuing the Jewish people unless he was assured in some way that the situation had changed and he had a fighting chance to succeed in catching and re-enslaving the Jews. Pharaoh actually became king again and led another nation after the Egypt fiasco……go figure. He had to have a great amount of charisma and cleverness to persuade another country to put him at the helm.
Despite all the miracles of the ten plaques that G-d performed for his chosen people at the expense of the Egyptians, Pharaoh was not entirely convinced of G-d’s power. G-d therefore made the Jewish people seem entangled in the desert. The plan of deception was to bring them to a spot between Migdol Eisam and the sea, where Pharaoh would be certain they had nowhere to flee. The desert cut them off. They could not travel there because of the wild animals. Before them stood the impassible sea. Migdal Eisam  was a high place from which it was easy to wage an attack. Thus the Children of Israel entered a strait with no exit.

The famous answer to this question is that G-d pays back measure for measure. Pharaoh and the Egyptians killed many Jewish children by throwing them in the river.  Therefore G-d punished the Egyptians by drowning them in the sea. As a matter of fact when the scripture writes ” VAYAMINU BAHASHEM UBEMOSHE AVDO-..and they believed in G-d and to Moshe his servant. Who are they “the believers” referring to?

Rav Henoch Leibowitz z’l teaches us it’s referring to the drowning Egyptians soldiers. At the last precious moments of life, when the the towering walls of water that was split on behalf of the Jews was breaking and tumbling down and becoming whole again, the Egyptians realized the truth. They comprehended the measure for measure and understood why they were about to die.
The Abarbanel, a famous Jewish commentary and at one point Finance Minister of Spain in the 15th century, presents a beautiful explanation of G-d’s enticement of the Egyptians into the sea. He says G-d intention was to frighten the other nations whose lands the Jewish people were going to conquer. He knew that the people leaving Egypt were at a low point, powerless to conquer large fortified cities.
The Jews coming out of Egypt had a slave mentality; they weren’t going to scare anybody. They weren’t warriors and the world knew that. G-d had to infuse a facelift of the Jewish image and it wasn’t going to be just the likes of the mild mannered Jewish accountant.

G-d struck the powerful Egyptians, the perennial superpower, a devastating blow which was publicized throughout the world. Hence, the splitting of the sea paved the way for the conquest of the land of Israel.

The beautiful song that we sing in our morning prayers, AZ YASHIR, which describes the wonders of the splitting of the sea by G-d’s mighty hand, hints at what transpired as a result of the devastation of the drowning of the Egyptians:
“Nations heard and shuttered: terror gripped those who dwell in Philistia. Edom’s chief then panicked; trembling gripped the powerful ones of Moav; all of Canaan’s residents melted away…..Until Your people crossed through, G-d.”

Similar are the words of Rachav, who was considered one of the four most beautiful woman that ever lived,. She was the most sort after prostitute ever. Rachav helped and protected the two Hebrew spies who were on a mission exploring the land that would eventually be their land; the land of Israel. She said (Yehoshua 2:9:10) ” I know that G-d gave you the land and that your fear took hold of us. All the residents of the land tremble before you , for we heard how G-d dried up the sea of Reeds before you when you were leaving Egypt”. Rachav eventually converted to Judism and astonishingly married the leader Yehoshua ben Nun. She rose to such an extent that she became a prophetess.

Rachav expressed the tone and heartbeat of the seven nations who occupied the land of Israel. This gave the Israelites a huge psycological edge in conquering the promised land in which G-d laid the groundwork by splitting the sea.
It seems like Pharaoh did not get the message from the plaques. The message that G-d runs the show had to come full circle by splitting the sea. With that action G-d was able to pay back measure for measure for the killing of the Jewish babies as well as set the tone for the future. We see how important the concept of the homeland is. G-d split the sea for an easy landing for our ancestors in the promised land.

There are many things in life that occur that one scratches his head. There are some incidences that are quite painful and difficult to make the adjustment. One has to realize every event that happens is connected and if we are lucky we can understand and figure out the puzzle.

When our forefather Avraham was about to leave this world, the scripture said AVRAHAM ZAKEN BAH BAH YAMIM-Avraham was old. The Sages interpret that he was blessed where he was able to understand and figure out the puzzle. He was able to figure out why events occurred in his life. Most of us will live our entire life and not know why things happened to us. We just have to realize that there is a master plan and everything is charted by G-d.

Appreciate this great country

January 22, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was comprised using thoughts from Rabbi’s Akiva Grunblatt, Jay Shapiro,

Yossi Bilus, Baruch Dopelt, Isaac Oelbaum and Dr. Robert Goldman
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We see a very interesting lesson in this week’s parsha in regards to HAKARAT HATOV, appreciating what one does for you.  The Torah demonstrates this concept to a large extent by showing Moshe’s sensitivities to inanimate objects:

1) Moshe does not strike the Nile river with his staff to bring on the first plague of blood, but designates his brother Aharon to do so. The basket with baby Moshe was placed in the Nile.  The waters helped conceal the newborn preventing the Egyptian monsters from killing him.

2) The pattern continues; Moshe does not hit the ground initiating the plague of Keenim-gnats (3rd) because the ground helped him conceal the Egyptian guard that he killed protecting a fellow Jew. Again, his brother Aharon hit the ground instead.

Why would I hit something that has done me good? This was Moshe rational. We deduce from Moshe’s actions, being  so caring toward inanimate objects, that one should be even more sensitive to people who have done something good for them.
Many years ago my family had some real estate which we rented out. One of our tenants was a new immigrant from Russia. I was very impressed with his awareness and appreciation of how the United States government initially helped him. Now he’s a homeowner himself; but the initial grateful response of how this country helped him and his family stand on their own two feet will always be embedded in my mind.

Even though the Mitzrim enslaved us, our ancestors, we can’t shun their offspring totally because they housed us during famine.  Even more so, for an amazing host like America that not only takes care of our physical needs but also enables our religious institutions, making it easier to practice and enhance our Torah education.

 

The constitution, with its Bill of Rights containing freedom of religion, speech and expression is enormous; it gives us the opportunity to grow as Jews in every sense of the word. In turn,  we have to appreciate these privileges by giving respect to its institutions like democracy, voting etc. It includes patriotism and even fighting and dying for it. It certainly includes keeping its laws.

However there are those that take advantage of the goodness of others and, believe it or not, steal from the same programs that are meant to provide help.

It says in last week’s parsha: A new king arose who did not know of Yosef. This is implying that Pharoah didn’t appreciate all that Yosef did for Egypt. Not only did he single-handedly save them from famine, Egypt became an epicenter for distribution of food. All this was initiated by a Jew, Joseph.

However,  hakarat hatov – appreciating what one does for you – a very important human trait which one most definitely should possess was not found in Pharoah. This flaw led to the demise of Egypt. As punishment they were never acknowledged as a super power again.

If one remembers we had mentioned an incredible story that happened in our Jewish history. Yeosh was hidden as a toddler after the wicked queen killed off the entire house of David. We know from basic Jewish knowledge that the monarch has to come from David ben Ishai’s offspring’s. When the time was right, Yehoyada, the high priest, organized a coup and killed the queen. He then put the seven year old Yeosh in power. Under the guidance and nurturing  of Yehoyada,  Yeosh blossomed as king. He actually became a very good one. However after the death of Yehoyada, Yeosh began to be influenced in a bad way. What started as a very heartwarming story turned sour and ended up being a case of one of the greatest fundamental lack of human character ever. Yeosh, paranoid that he would lose power, killed off the then high priest, who happened to be the son of Yehoyada!!  Where is the hakarat hatov- appreciation of what one does for you!! You kill from the hand that has fed you, taught you, nourished you; kept you alive. Where is the gratitude?!

Our patient G-d draws measure for measure. At times one is able to see this.  After some time Yeosh was assassinated by people from Amon and Moav.

What is the significance of Amon and Moav? The Torah says if an individual comes from Amon and Moav, and wants to convert, we are forbidden to take him in. The reason for this is when the Jews were in the dessert Amon and Moav did not allow them to pass through or even give them any food.  A tremendous flaw in common decency considering  our ancestor and forefather Avraham raised, housed, protected and even put his life on the line for their ancestor Lot. Where is the appreciation?

We don’t want that kind of character flaw in our congregation. We have to be very grateful we’re living in these circumstances in this great big country called USA. One inevitably has to ask a question: If we have it so good, freedom this and freedom that, then why is this beautiful time called the GALUT-diaspora?

Hey man, this is it!  REDEMPTION!!

In these parshiot of the slavery and the redemption out of Egypt, we learn a very significant lesson on how we should conduct ourselves. As the pasuk says, METZUYANIM SHAM – they stood out there. They were purposely different. This is by design. The bracha living in such a country is the fact that the non-Jews let us be who we are and this is who we are suppose to be. They give us that KAVOD and we in turn show the greatest of appreciation. However the bracha is not to act like non-Jews. That was not the initiative of G-d.

Being a Jew first doesn’t mean not having utmost respect for USA. The difference is Judaism is a life identification. It’s stronger.  When the prophet Yonah was asked who are you? Where do you come from? What do you do?  He had one answer.  IVRI anochi-I, am a Jew. That’s my essence, nothing else.
There is a little story that’s a teaser and has been circulated in every diaspora in our history. A man comes home from shul and informs his wife. “Pack our bags the Mashiach is coming, we’re going to the promised land”. She retorts “What are we going to do with the farm”. He answers back ” We are Jews, so we have to go through another TZARA-ordeal.”
If we look at that opportunity as an ordeal then we are too comfortable where we are.

 

Trust me it’s quite difficult to forgo a lifestyle and a culture and to move. A friend moved to Israel many years ago; it took him 9 years to get used to Israel after being born and bred in New York. There was a snowy blanket covering Jerusalem recently. I saw a picture via Facebook of my friend playing and building a snowman in the streets of the holy city. He’s 51 years old !! It reminds me, and I’m sure him, of us playing as kids in the streets of Queens. I’m sure he remembers how it was at night in Queens with the reflection of the snow and the addition of the decorative, sharp, bright color lights of the non-Jewish holiday, as well as the Chanukah menorah illuminating the sky. This was an unforgettable  moment of our cultural past.

            Snowman at the Kotel
After spending an entire summer in Tel Aviv when I was 8 years old, I got so homesick for pizza that no one, not my grandparents or cousins could console me. One of my relatives even went clear across town on his little moped (remember them) to find this foreign food. No one ever heard of pizza then. Boy has time changed.

The first thing which reminds me of spring is matzah and cream cheese and the cracking sound of a baseball bat hitting a ball and the smell of a leather baseball glove. It’s hard not to get sucked into the emotional aspect of a culture.

Perhaps one can put things in perspective with a very significant symbolic occurrence in last week’s parsha pertaining to the burning bush. If one reads the pasuk carefully one realizes the bush was not in the midst of the fire. (Shemot 3:2) The fire appeared within the bush. Moshe saw the fire within the bush. We also see in the last parsha of the Torah, VEZOT HABRACHA, where Yosef’s blessing is referring to this very incident of Moshe’s first encounter with G-d and the bush.
There is a incredible explanation from Rabbi Oelbaum pertaining to the burning bush phenomena which can be understood better with a famous story. The Romans were afraid to enter the  Kodesh HaKokoshim – the holy of holies – after conquering our holy Temple. So they said  “Whoever will volunteer to enter can take whatever he wants for himself.” The rebellious Jew Yosef Mishteh said defiantly “I will”. He proceeded to take out the beautiful golden menorah only to be taken away by the Romans. “This is to beautiful for a Jewish commoner. This should be given to the Emperor instead. We’ll let you go in again and take out whatever you want. However this time he refused. I will not desecrate my G-d a second time ” he said. Even after they threatened death he still refused. They executed him. The question the Sages asked what transpired within the period of time between the first time he went in and the second? Why the sudden change of heart? Why did he now care about his creator when before he didn’t?

The burning bush, which is the first thing G-d introduced to Moshe, represents that each Jew has a fire within him that is waiting to come out. Yosef was blessed for the fact that he maintained that fire throughout his lonely diaspora. Fire begets fire; when Yosef Mishteh walked into the Kodesh hakadoshim he was enamored by the majestic holiness of the place. That brought out the fire within him. It’s a fire we all have and protects us from the emotional aspect that connects us to the seductive diaspora.

We have to put things in perspective. It’s our duty as Jews and Halacha from the Torah to abide by the laws of the land, and most important, appreciate the United States of America; appreciate what circumstance G-d has put us in, that we can practice our religion; we should take advantage of our freedom. We should be who we are and what we are supposed to be.

The Enforcers

January 11, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Akiva Grunblatt, Jay Shapiro, Yitzchak Aminov and Dr. Robert Goldman. 

A United States Marine was taking some college courses between assignments. He had recently completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

One of the courses was taught by a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in:  he looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.”
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.”
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there silently. The other students were shocked, stunned, and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, “What is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”
The Marine calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me”.

 

This is a case of an enforcer protecting the monotheistic ideal.. Its important that we have in every society law enforcement to protect the rights of the people. Its a must, or else society would not be able to function.  Where would we be without the excessive implementation of traffic tickets and the scant mini-meters. Thank you Mayor Bloomberg.

 

“I never heard of this G-d of the Israelites” Pharaoh proclaimed when his two guest came with a stern message. Pharaoh then said ” I’ll show them who’s boss” after Moshe and his brother Aharon approached him demanding to send the Israelites free. He then  made it harder for the  enslaved Jewish people by not giving them straw to complete their work. Now  the Israelites would have to spread out through the entire land of Egypt  to gather straw. However, the catch was, he said, the  production amount will not be reduced. This placed a tremendous amount of pressure on the Jewish foremen who scrambled to keep production at the same level.
 Unfortunately, there are times in history where we see ones own brethren are threatened into  enforcing certain laws against their own people by an imposing nation for their own agenda. Such is the case in this weeks parsha where Pharaoh, the Egyptian king, created a Jewish police force to implement his plan. If the Jewish slaves fell short of fulfilling their quotas, the Egyptians beat the Jewish foremen. However, the foremen sacrificed themselves to protect their fellow Jews. They absorbed the beatings and refused to retaliate against the overworked Jews. The Jewish foremen/police had mercy on their fellow comrades. (Rashi 5,14)
 Pharaoh decided the best cure for Moshe’s incitement was to make the Israelites work so hard that they would not have any energy to think of rebellion.
As Rashi notes, it was a courageous act on behalf of the Jewish foremen who defended their brethren. These foremen later were rewarded by being appointed ” the seventy elders of Israel”; they judged the people. This was a tremendous honor!!
pride and joy-celebrating finishing the seven year cycle of the Talmud at Met life where over 90,000 participated
The question is asked; we Jews pride ourselves on being an intelligent people. Our Talmud is an incredibly difficult & complex body of work and some of our greatest scholars (among many others)  study it on a daily basis. They even take time off from their busy schedule and form study groups. They find it extremely gratifying and stimulating. As far as intelligence is concerned, its the best in the business.  So if we are the scholarly front runners doesn’t one think the job description for the “Elders of Israel”, judges amongst our people should be more qualified then just ones who showed mercy? Granted it was a very noble gesture and one that deserves great reward. However, “elders” is defined as scholar.  There is no mention in the scriptures and in the Midrash about their intelligence. It seems like they were simple  foremen in Egypt. They were righteous but not “judge” material.
  As a matter of fact G-d didn’t pull the trigger on  expressing his desire for Moshe to be leader until the burning bush incident. The icing on the cake was seeing  Moshe exhibiting curiosity when seeing the burning bush. It showed an interest in knowing; it showed a desire to analyze a situation. So we see there is a degree of intelligence needed for a leadership position.
 We see a fascinating act by G-d. He rewarded the seventy foremen with added intelligence and  uplifted them to one of the highest positions among the nation. They stood by and protected the nation at their lowest point in Egypt and now they will be on top of the totem pole when the nation is  in its glory days. We see the importance of caring for ones fellow; we see an importance in showing mercy for mankind.
 Similarly, on a higher level, we find our forefather Avraham, who housed and entertained  guests constantly.He and his wife Sarah are famous for their acts of kindness toward people. One can ask, when did he have time to intellectually get close to G-d?  We know at a young age, impressively,  he deduced from nature that there is a one G-d . We also know his great grandfather, Shem, had what we call today a Yeshiva. The Sages say Avraham always had the burning desire to connect to G-d. However, there was no time on the schedule for the long weekend retreat. Although we see that Avraham was a highly intelligent he too was granted a gift,  a high level of spirituality. For his kindness towards people and branding ” helping your fellow man” ,G-d came to him personally.
  One can put the enforcer concept in perspective with this story of the Chazzon Ish, one of our contemporary leaders. It was the afternoon before Yom Kippur and someone approached the Chazzon Ish and asked him a question about his parnasa-livelyhood. The Chazzon Ish spent a considerable time with the person.  After a while the fellow asked the Rav ” Rebbi, don’t you need time to prepare for Yom Kippur? Why are you dedicating so much time on my behalf?” . He answered ” I am preparing for Yom Kippur by helping you with your livelihood”.
 Another story involves Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, one of the leading authorities on contemporary halacha of his time in the United States. A few weeks after he passed away one of the Rav’s secretaries  discovered an elderly woman who would call the Rav every Friday afternoon and asked him ” what time does Shabbat starts this week?” Here is a Torah giant who answers thousands of complicated halachic questions weekly yet finds time for this elderly lady to give her the Shabbat start time. The reason is the leaders job is to give to the people: it is to help them in any which way possible. If Rav Moshe satisfies this elderly woman by telling her the times, he has done his job. The leaders  have to be there for the AM-the nation.
Rabbi Dopelt tells a story of the Spliner Rav who would listen to one’s problems and cry and feel with him his pain. A few hours later he is rejoicing  at a wedding making the bride and groom happy to the highest degree. This is the degree of giving that one has to have for a fellow Jew.
 The Elders-enforcers were granted a gift; it was a miracle. One cannot expect to receive a high level of intelligence just from acts of kindness. However, we see  the importance of good character traits in G-d’s eyes. The good character traits are not wasted. G-d finds a place for the person performing good deeds whether the reward goes to him or his children.
 The Elders job is to prevent the nation from excessive hardship. We learn in the Torah if one does a certain sin he is punished with forty lashes. However, the Chachamim-Elders deduce from scripture that a Jew only receives thirty nine. The duty of the Sages is to alleviate  as much difficulty to our brethren as possible. If we can find a way to reduce one smack we have to discover it.
 The halacha-law  goes according to Hillel and not Shamai ,who was the stricter of the two. Although both were Torah greats in every sense of the word, Hillel possessed a bit  more humility and therefore all laws go according to him.
Good character traits alone doesn’t make the complete man. One has to combine it with the Torah. Its with the wisdom of the Torah that one see’s what is in the world and is then able to do act of kindness to the utmost.
 The  Chazzon Ish would map out a diagram and give it to the surgeon and tell him where the problem lies; the same goes with the Lubavitcher Rebbi. How would they know? They never attended medical school.
Kindness has away of coming back to you.
 Devorah was a prophetess and leader of the Jewish people. She became a leader  through an act of kindness. Every year she would contribute through her husband by making special wicks for the Menorah. Devorah realized the light of Torah has to be beautiful and it should be presented in the most honorable way. Her special devotion was recognized by G-d. She became leader of the Jews and lit the light not just of the menorah but also the entire Jewish people
There’s an old expression , ” They don’t care how much you know until they find out how much you care”.

 

Our freedom is very important

January 8, 2015 parshat Shemot No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus,Yissachar Frand, Yaakov Menken  Dr. Abba Goldman.

Freedom is beloved!! Freedom is exhilarating!! Freedom is reassuring!!  Freedom is what this great big country is based on. Freedom is the Democratic philosophy in which Israel is so strategically beloved in Middle East region by the United States. That’s the conman thread between Israel and countries practicing democracy. 
 
 
In today’s world, we are rightfully very preoccupied with obtaining our rights and freedoms. We want to be free to pursue our priorities, live according to our convictions, and pursue what makes us happy. We don’t want anyone limiting us or imposing on us his concept of how we should live. These are our entitlements as human beings, and no one should have the right to take them from us. We have rights. This is the first thing we learn in grade school.
 Unfortunately when our rights as humans are violated it can change how these victims perceive the world and act toward each other. We learn a very important lesson from this week’s parsha. When Moshe wanted to plant the seeds of freedom, the Israelites did not even pay attention to Moshe’s second speech of “I’m taking you out” because of “KOTZER RUACH’ – shortness of spirit. Dr. Abba Goldman – Psychologist at Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim explains their reaction is the result of the effects of slavery. Pharaoh carefully designed a full proof system to reassure them to always be subordinate. Always be afraid and never answer back.  He implanted the roots of a slave mentality. “What is the “slave mentality”?
 
FEAR
One aspect of “slave mentality” is to be afraid of the people on top.
“Does the government fear us? Or do we fear the government? When the people fear the government, tyranny(Arbitrary or unrestrained exercise of power; despotic abuse of authority)
 has found victory. The federal government is our servant, not our master!”
Fearing authority is the direct result of being persecuted by governments. Egypt was the prototype of such authority. Today, any migration from an oppressed government proves those people being fearful of authority as opposed to people who grew up in democracy where people are not afraid to voice their opinion.
 Furthermore, ever wonder why the Jews complained that they had it so good  in Egypt. They were persecuted and harassed and often, annoyingly, they would praise their way of life in that oppressed country. 
 
UN-WARRANTED SECURITY
   Slaves are provided with rations so that they can work. The Egyptians made sure that they had food. What do the Israelites remember? They remember only that they were cared for there and provided for. The fact that they were getting slave rations is for some reason overlooked. But when they find themselves hungry with no means of provision, they are immediately lost. Like a child without his mother, they simply cry. A simple need unfulfilled is a crisis for the slave.
It would seem that the mind of the slave is limited to these narrow horizons of immediate material fulfillment. The slave lives for the moment. He does not have the luxury of planning the future; his role is simply to survive the present. The hallmarks of the slave generation which is leaving Egypt can be felt throughout the next few parshiot. G-d does not lead the Israelites “by way of the Land of the Pelishtim although it was nearer, for G-d said, ‘If they encounter war, the people may have a change of heart and return to Egypt'” (13:17-18). The people still see Egypt as a protective secure environment. They need the security; they need its order and comforting predictability. Egypt is an environment where decisions are made for them, where they know the rules of life. In the outside world, they are lacking in confidence.
They are slaves in other senses too. The Ibn Ezra (14:13) asks: why did the Israelites not fight the Egyptians when they were attacked at the Red Sea? After all, the Israelites numbered six hundred thousand fighting men, a considerable force. He answers:
“The Egyptians were masters to the Israelites. Exodus generation was accustomed from the youngest age to suffer under the yoke of Egyptian oppression. Their spirit was broken. How could they stand up and fight their masters… after all they were inexperienced in the art of war…”
The result of this slave mentality will be certain instability within the national mood of the people. They are fickle. One moment they can be uplifted by the soaring euphoria of the miracle at the Red Sea and the next minute, all has been forgotten; they might as well be back in Egypt. 
When crisis hits, the people panic and all the theological truths disappear as if into thin air.
 Why did G-d decide that the Israelites face the Egyptians head on?
   G-d’s intention was not to save Israel from war and undue fear but precisely the opposite: To drag them into an immediate confrontation with their former masters, and to achieve final, total independence at the Red Sea. The Jews had already been physically liberated from Egypt; now the time had come to free them spiritually and emotionally.
This liberation would come through witnessing the final downfall of the power that had until now made an almost lasting mark upon their souls as the nation before whom all nations trembled. Two hundred and ten years of slavery to a nation so dominant that until now no slave had ever escaped had to leave its mark. Even if the Jews were permitted to leave, they would do so with a great regard for Egypt’s power. They would look up to the Egyptians, not perhaps for their “kind treatment” of their slaves, but for their world-dominance as a military power.
 
BOOM, SPLASH!! Egypt has been defeated. Dead soldiers floating in the sea…
  Now, since the Jews have witnessed G-d’s hand and the Egyptian demise, what’s now? It’s their task, their mission to revolutionize their way of thinking. How do they undo their “slave mentality’?  It’s a tremendous undertaking to change one’s Philosophy of life. This is their test, both as a nation and on a personal level. However, it’s an enormous and difficult task. 
  Regardless of the psychological difficult road of changing one’s way of thinking, they are free!! They have tasted the sweetness of not having a master…… But wait!! 
BUT WAIT!!  ARE WE FREE?!!!  In parshat [Vayera 7:26] 

“And G-d said to Moshe, ‘go to Pharoah, and say to him, “thus says G-d ‘LET MY PEOPLE GO…….and they will serve Me.”     
What are we free to do? To serve G-d!   That’s freedom?
  The commandments of the Torah, with 613 mandatory and prohibited acts, with countless restrictions and sub-restrictions upon behavior, consumption of foods, sexual activity — “you name it, Judaism wants to control it” — is repressive, restrictive, limiting. And this is the vision of Judaism which many of us have.
The Torah itself is uncompromising. Pesach is called “the time of our liberation,” not “the time of exchanging one master for Another”.
 
When the Jews stood at Mount Sinai and Moshe came down with the tablets containing the Ten Commandments. The verse is described in an interesting way “And the tablets were made by G-d, and the writing was G-d’s writing, engraved (Heb. Chorut) on the tablets.” (Exodus 32:16). Our sages (Chapters of the fathers 6:2) comment on this “do not read ‘chorut’ ‘engraved,’ but rather ‘chairut,’ ‘freedom,’ for no one else is free but he who occupies himself in Torah learning.” The words ‘Chorut’ and ‘Chairut’ are spelled the same way with different vocalization. 
Rabbi Yehoshuah ben Levi says in the Chapters of the Fathers 62, “there is no free man like the one who is involved with the study of Torah.”
In the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson wrote that we have rights, such as the famous “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
 
If Liberty is supposed to make it possible for us to be happy, than the Torah’s “freedom” seems to serve the purpose very well. Those who visit an active observant Jewish community do not find a restricted, shackled people, but one where sharing, generosity, and happiness are the order of the day. There was actually a Los Angeles Times survey that discovered that residents of religious communities were significantly more likely to describe themselves as “happy.”  How can this be? What is the vision of “freedom” that the Torah gives us?
 
In the Chapters of the Fathers 428, Rabbi Elazar HaKappar says “jealousy, lust and honor remove a person from the world.” What does this mean? One explanation is that these things color a person’s vision. Instead of dealing with the “real world,” he or she instead sees the world from a distorted perspective. And, of course, this unrealistic perspective limits the person, preventing him or her from doing things which otherwise would be entirely possible and appropriate. The victim is shackled, regardless of his or her self-perception. He’s a slave to society.
In other words, it is very easy to be a slave to our desires, and emotions. How many people in the free world are drowning in debt because they are literally slaves to their desires for material things? How many people are slaves to anger and other emotions, which cause them to act in destructive and regrettable ways? How many people have a gambling, sexual or any addiction? At the end of the day that person, briefly, wakes up and cries “Oh! What did I do?! Another day wasted. It is even possible to be a slave to an ideal that leads a person to ruination. 
Rabbi Oelbaum says that the fundamental importance of the Torah is to enable us to overcome and do the opposite of our nature, to break the one aspect of our personality that we have a tough time overcoming. This is the primary goal of life.
Perhaps this is what G-d intended when approaching the nations and asking, are you ready to accept for real, and therefore you would have to eradicate stealing or murder or whatever weakness one has.
Rav Eliyahu Lopian teaches an important awareness of freedom of choice. This is an important aspect of man. However, one should know the definition of freedom of choice is not that one can do whatever he wants. If that was so, what is man’s superiority over animals? They too can do whatever they want. The definition of freedom of choice is that he’s able to choose himself and go against his nature, against his natural instincts and animals cannot do this.
The Torah, if studied correctly enables us to be free “Cherut”. It enables us to break away from slavery of the natural animal instinct. The Torah prepares us for proper freedom, the way man, not animal, is supposed to be free. 

SHH….A whispered phrase can be impactful!

January 1, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus,
 Communication is an art!  There are courses given on interpersonal communication. It’s not so easy to transmit your message always in a shiny light. Sadly, there are people who are professionals in making people despise them. Although there are those that try hard to avoid conveying a negative message at all costs, people fail in the most elementary laws in dealing with their fellow brethren.  Judaism not only teaches us how to deal with our fellow man, it also teaches us how to express ourselves to a higher authority.  Our Jewish religion teaches us that we – mortal humans – have the ability to communicate with G-d. Perhaps, dealing with G-d is easier than having to put up with the neighbor next door. One dimension of this communication is prayer! However, it is essentially vital that we understand how this link with our Creator works. It’s crucial to know, what the reason certain prayers are said and why they are said in a certain way.
 In this week’s parsha we are introduced to one of the fundamental prayers – the “Shema” and also the very important phrase which follows it.
 The Gemara in Tractate Pesachim (56) discusses the practice of reciting the passage “Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Le’olam Va’ed” after reciting the verse of “Shema Yisrael.” The Gemara tells that Yaakov our forefather assembled his sons before his death and wished to reveal to them when the Mashiach will come to the world, when suddenly the Shechina (divine presence) left him. Yaakov suspected that this perhaps occurred because one of his sons was unworthy, and so all his sons declared in unison, “Shema Yisrael, Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad” (“Hear, O Israel – Hashem our God, Hashem is one!”), announcing to Yaakov that they were all believers in the one G-d. Yaakov was overjoyed to hear his sons’ collective declaration, and he praised G-d by exclaiming, “Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Le’olam Va’ed” (“Blessed is the Name of the Glory of His Kingship, forever!”). In the Book of Devarim, however, when Moshe declared the verse of “Shema Yisrael,” he did not then proclaim “Baruch Shem.” We thus face the dilemma of whether we should follow Yaakov’s example, and recite “Baruch Shem” after “Shema Yisrael,” or the precedent set by Moshe, to recite “Shema Yisrael” without adding “Baruch Shem.” For this reason, the Gemara writes, we recite “Baruch Shem” in a low tone after reciting the verse of “Shema Yisrael.” We do this as a compromise, of sorts, between the respective practices of Yaakov and Moshe. Out of respect for Yaakov, we follow his example by reciting “Baruch Shem”; in deference to Moshe, however, who did not follow “Shema Yisrael” with “Baruch Shem,” we make a point of reciting “Baruch Shem” silently. (The one exception is Yom Kippur, when we declare “Baruch Shem” in a loud tone)
 Another reason is Moshe, who was on Mount Sinai waiting receiving the Torah, heard this beautiful prayer from the angels, and taught it to Israel!
 We dare not say it aloud because we are unworthy of using an angelic formula, when Israel elevates itself to a sin free level of angels, we may proclaim it loudly. For that reason we are permitted to pronounce it on Yom Kippur because we are like angels on that special day.
However, there is a much deeper explanation of the dialogue between Yaakov and his sons. 
 Rabbi Baruch Dopelt learns out from the Sfat Emet about the word GALUT- exile, Rashi points out BIKESH L’GALOT ET HAKETZ-Yaakov wished to reveal the end of days. So, if one is able to master the Galut, he will be able to MEGALEH-to reveal, uncover the goodness that is in every course of action which takes place in this world…There will never ever be any doubt that whatever happens will always have G-d’s fingerprints on it.
 Although that revelation would have brought out G-d’ Autograph in this world, HAKADOSH BARUCH HU immediately made Yaakov to forget. The discovery of good will not be shown to us explicitly; it will have to be brought out through the inner self; it would be enhanced through the concept of belief in G-d in one’s heart. So He left the Autograph up to us. Our job is to make it recognizable that this is actually the ultimate piece of art, crafted by the Ultimate of all artists, the Master Designer/Architect/Engineer of all things. Even though it’s hard to believe; even though the truth is hidden, we trust that good is there in the occurrence, no matter how devastating it may seem.
  Rabbi Oelbaum points out from the siddur HaGrar that “Baruch Shem” has six words that each represents another wing of angels who sang when the Temple stood. The Temple and its grander gave an ambiance of G-d’ Autograph to the highest degree. However, the Grar points out after the destruction of the Temple, in today’s time an angel has four wings. Apparently, the angel maneuvered its two wings making the sweet singing sounds stopped. Those particular wings were the ones that represented KAVOD SHAMAYIM.
Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik zt”l explained that when one recites a blessing, he is accepting his recognition of G-d’s hidden hand in this world. “When one recites a blessing over food, for example, he in essence is saying, “Master of the Universe, You are hidden behind a cloud; no one sees You. Yet, as I eat this food, I reveal Your Presence. The very fact that I can eat, that my body absorbs food, that I can digest, indeed the entire biological process behind food consumption and the very creation of food itself is testimony to Your presence. Through this recognition I am removing the obscuring cloud; I am revealing You.”
 
THE RECITATION OF KADISH IS POWERFUL!
 
When we say “Yehey Shemei Rabah Mevorach”, we are pronouncing to fill the whole world with KAVOD SHAMAYIM-G-d’s Autograph. We plead to radiate the world all over and all should see and recognize His design. It says in tractate Shabbat (119:) Rabbi Yehoshua, the son of Laivi,” whoever says Kaddish with all his strength, G-d rips up his bad decree”. Why? What’s so special about the Kadish that our bad decree will be torn up?
“There are no atheists in the fox whole”. One of the ways G-d is recognized is when the unfortunate happens. He is forced to use that method. Our natural human instinct is to turn to Our Creator. Does something negative has to happen for us to recognize Our Creator? Perhaps, we can bring about
G-d’s Kavod without the smacks. We don’t need the sicknesses or the lack of parnassa for us to get into the “recognizing G-d’s mode”. When we say the Kadish in the highest level, the highest sincerity, G-d rips the bad omen that was destined for us and says “they don’t need that; they’re bringing KAVOD SHAMAYIM from their pure soul.” 
  
  For this reason Yaakov reaffirmed the glory of his kinship after hearing his sons announce “we are all believers”.  The reason the world was created –  so one can give honor and acknowledgement to G-d without an autograph, the creatures of this world might take life, beauty, pleasure and all the other amenities of existence for granted. They could fail to take care of the home made for them, even turning reckless and destructive. Man can be seduced very easily; he can believe success or failure was only through his efforts, however, if he realizes G-d’s influence that is “Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Le’olam Va’ed”.
In the Mussaf Amida on Shabbat we say quoting the malachim “AYEKA MEKOM KEVODO-we angels are waiting for the Temple to be built so that the signature of G-d will be, once again apparent in this world; where is it? Where is it?
  Yaakov answered   “Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Le’olam Va’ed” – we are above the angels!! We don’t need a Temple to bring out KAVOD SHAMAYIM. We can MEGALEH the Autograph of G-d with our powerful good deeds and sincerity. It’s in our hands!! We can forfeit bad omens and bring it out because our pure soul can scream out a powerful prayer of Kadish or our children’s innocent recitation of any prayer that they learned in Yeshiva.
 
There is a powerful story that describes  KAVOD SHAMAYIM in the highest level!
 
G-d  appeared in a dream telling the Vilna Gaon-Elijah ben Shlomo Zalman Kremer,(Vilnius April 23, 1720 – Vilnius October 9, 1797) who he will sit next to in Gan Eden.  Figuring, besides the curiosity, there is a lesson to be learned, he decided to travel to the address that the dream projected. He received many surprising strange looks, similar to what’s a proper Rabbi like you inquiring about this particular character like that, as he obtained the where-bouts from the town’s people. 
 Although, now a bit more curious from the negative reaction asking himself what does G-d have in store for me, he made his way to the person’s residence. To his surprise he found a very obnoxious heavy set individual eating in the most unmannerly way.
 Wondering, why G-d had chosen him to be his forever partner and how am I going to get used to this, he carefully approached him, examining every move and sound this butcher made.
  After some time, the SHH….A whispered phrase can be impactful!
  asked the butcher “why do you eat so much?”
His reply was astonishing! He said, with a stern angry voice; let me tell you a little story, Rabbi. We are Jews and we Jews, however lucky we are to be G-d’s ambassadors here on earth, are also subject to much jealousy and anti-Semites. When I was a boy, our family unfortunately experienced a pogrom. These Goyim YA-MACHSHIMAM put all our possessions in the middle of the street and lit a fire upon them. They, then, took my father, who was a petite man, and threw him in the burning possessions. Within seconds he was consumed. The pigs YA-MACHSHIMAM laughed and said that “Jew went fast”. Then the butcher paused a few minutes and continued. Every time I eat something I eat it with intent to get larger so if they ever come back to burn me I’ll make a glorious fire. They’ll say that Jew burned a long time”.
Now, the Vilna Gaon understood why the butcher was chosen to sit next to him in Gan Eden. The Vilna Gaon’s
intent to proclaim G-d’s Autograph by teaching Torah to the masses. The butcher’s whole life’s intent was to proclaim G-d Autograph by eating. Every ounce of food was purely for G-d !

I want the bracha first!!!

December 29, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
I want the bracha first!!! 

This article was constructed with the help of Dr. Robert Goldman, Psychologist of Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim and Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Eliezer Finkleman, Yitzchak Aminov

 

Who doesn’t want to receive a bracha from their beloved father or grandfather? It’s a big honor. One gets a feeling of warmth and an awareness that the bracha has been passed down for many generations, for thousands of years. It’s beautiful!!

 

Interestingly, though, what happens when the beloved patriarch wants to give a more important bracha to your younger sibling? How would you feel? Would you feel slighted?  Does one still have that warm feeling?

 

We have an ancient tradition, and many would say, one of the most beautiful customs in Jewish life is for parents to bless their children at the start of the Friday night Shabbat meal. What makes it more important is it’s done at Shabbat table which is designed to be the grand stage for family communication and family love, especially in todays fast pace lifestyle where one doesn’t communicate with his family all week.  Girls receive the blessing: “May God make you like the matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.” Boys, meanwhile, are blessed “to be like Ephraim and Menashe.”
What happened to the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?! Why were Ephraim and Menashe chosen instead as the subjects of this important tradition?

In this week’s parsha, the last in the book of Sefer Bereshit, we see a very interesting pattern, the rejection of the first-born. When Yosef brought his two sons for a blessing from Yaacov, his father, who was old and ready to pass on, he did something very peculiar. Yaacov crossed his arms so that Efraim, who was the youngest, would be under his right hand and Menashe, who was older and purposely placed by Yosef at his grandfather’s right, got the left. Yaacov, who emphasized that Menashe also received a nice bracha, gave the more important blessing to Efraim.

We see through history that the first born, the well-respected elder, receives double the inheritance, losing, on many occasions, the status in which he inherited. This was apparent in the first generation of the world; Cain was the oldest; however Hevel got the reward. We know that Shem, (where our ancestors come from) one of three sons of Noach, was not the first-born. Abraham passed the baton to Isaac, the youngest, and not to Yishmael. The same is said about Isaac’s sons, Eisav, who was the bechor, but Yaacov was the brother chosen. Reuben, the eldest of the twelve tribes, neither got the first-born rights, the kingdom nor the kehuna (high priest).

 

First and foremost, the Torah is trying to emphasize that even though the first-born has changed the status of man and has made him a father of this precise bechor, nevertheless, the bechor has to earn the benefits that has been bestowed upon him. There’s no freebee; no job is safe. Apparently, it’s a demanding role and has to be maintained to the highest standard, or else he loses it.

 

There is a puzzling question: Okay, we learn “one has to earn his brownie points and nothing is a freebee” from the tragic story of Cain and Hevel, but the Torah keeps on harping the same pattern over and over. Why? We learned the lesson. Perhaps one didn’t get it the first time, so the Torah wants to accommodate those slow thinkers and present similar storyline; possibility?

 

Ephraim and Menashe represent a break from this pattern. This explains why Yaacov purposely switched his hands, blessing the younger Ephraim before the older Menashe:  there was no

 resentment from Menashe. He was ok with it!!  There was no jealousy; he did  n’t feel slighted. This was a tremendous revelation. Yaacov wished to emphasize the point that with these siblings, there is no rivalry. For this reason Menashe and Efraim both received their own tribe. They were the only grandchildren to receive this recognition. It was a tremendous act of respect on Yaacov’s part to give them such honor. He knew what refined character they both had.

 

 

The book of Bereshit concludes with the positive unity of Menashe and Ephraim as one of its lead story. After all the sibling rivalry which we encountered, mankind finally got it right. For this reason, the Torah goes out of its way in the beginning of the second book of Shemot, to relay a conversation between G-d and Moshe pertaining Moshe’s appointment  as leader of the Israelites. Moshe was concerned that his older brother will be slighted. He was afraid he would be humiliated. After all, he was the leader of the nation until that point. Although Aharon did nothing wrong as leader, it was evident, one didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to realize Moshe was born with unusual gifts and was destined to be the redeemer.  We see Aharon’s greatness was to recognize Moshe’s ability and to realize he would be best for the nation of Israel. Aharon was happy to step down. It was totally a selfless and courageous act.

One has to realize that it’s not so simple to overcome such a test. In fact, it’s one of the CHULSHAT ENOSH human weaknesses. There are a number of very interesting stories in our history pertaining to this test.

 

The great HILLEL came to Israel from Babylonia. His activity of forty years likely covered the period of 30 BC to 10 AD. As soon as he came, everyone realized how great he was. He answered all the questions that was presented to him and knew all the Jewish discourses that was presented to him cold. It seemed like Shmaya and Avtalyon, the leading Rabbis, also realized that he was far greater than they. In response to his presence they resigned their position as leading Rabbis, relinquishing the mantle of leadership to him. A generation later the famous Rabbi Yehuda the NASI-prince, the leader of the Jews of his generation and the author of the Mishna said it would be most difficult, for me, to give up the position of president. I would not be able to relinquish the honor. Kol Hakavod to Shmaya  and Avtalyon for placing the welfare of the Jewish people in front of their life time achievements, goals and pride.

 

 Being the leading Rabbi has always been in the forefront throughout our history. In every corner of the world the head Rabbi was traditionally always recognized as the authority. It commands tremendous respect but with it he takes upon himself tremendous responsibility.

  In the 1700’s, there was a large Jewish community in Prague headed by Rabbi Yechezkel Laundau. The position of head Rabbi was traditionally chosen by vote. Rabbi Laundau narrowly beat out Rabbi Zorach, who was also tremendous Torah scholar. Rabbi Zorach was not satisfied. He felt he would be the better choice in serving the community. On the first Shabbat of Rabbi Laudau’s new position, Rabbi Zorach asked him a question in front of the congregation that he could not answer. It was clearly an embarrassing moment right at the start of his tenure. He came home and cried himself to sleep. His father, who had passed away some time ago, came to him in a dream where Rabbi Laundau disclosed to him his anguish over the question asked by Rav Zorach. His father said “Son you will find the answer of the question in the Tosfot in this particular tractate of the Talmud,” disclosing the page. The next morning sure enough the answer was there. He then showed it to Rav Zorach who himself was not aware of the Tosfot answer. He then asked him “how did you figure out the answer?” When he found out about his father coming to him from the next world to give him the answer and save face in front of the congregation, he rationalized if the other world is interfering with matters of this world and providing answers so Rav Laundau can keep his position then perhaps this is what the heavens want; this is what is suppose to be. He then gave up the quest to overthrow Rabbi Laundau and eventually became a staunch supporter of him.

 

Rav Zorach could have rationalized the situation differently. We tend to look at everything to our favor. If man develops a liking to a certain view, he can make a straight line look crooked.

 

It’s too simplistic to blame the individual alone for being selfish. It’s a lot more complex. One has many pressures. On occasion, the wife and other family members get involved, egging the person not to give up. Perhaps they would feel slighted by the individual not being chosen. One, at times, succumbs to pressure.  What starts out as a sincere project often ends up as an egotistical struggle; it’s scary, however, we tend to be drawn in to this natural human nature deficiency.

 

 One of the most sensitive person that I have ever met, who worked and stressed good character traits was the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim Rav Henoch Liebowitz t’zl.

At his Eulogy, one of the eulogizers said something mind boggling. He quoted Rav Henoch saying that “the toughest decision that I ever made was to pass over the position of Rosh Yesiva to his own chosen heir apparent.”

 

Here is a man well into his eighties knowing well he cannot function as the head Rabbi because of health issues, has difficulty giving up the mantle.

It’s not so easy!!

 

We now can appreciate and acknowledge that Menashe was a remarkable human being and the same can be said of Aharon.  

Relationship between parents and children

December 29, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Yissachar Frand , Yossi Bilus,  Yitzchak Aminov and Dr. Abba Goldman

 

 

There are two powerful questions that must be addressed to kick off this article. We all know, or should know, the first. It’s probably the most asked about question pertaining to one of the most famous memorable lines in the Torah. As a matter of fact: when one defines a “dramatic pause” in the Webster’s Dictionary this is it! It’s as dramatic as you can get. However, before we begin, let’s first start with a little background:

 

BACKGROUND

Yosef has become the second in command of the most powerful nation in the world, Egypt. The world is in the midst of a famine and Egypt is the epics-center to purchase food. Egypt has been placed in a very good position of “provider” thanks to Yosef, whose advice, through interpreting Pharaoh’s dream, was dead on target.

As a matter of fact, even Yosef’s brothers traveled to Egypt to purchase food due to the desperate state they were facing.

The brothers, out of jealousy, sold Yosef into slavery against his will, obviously, and have not seen him for twenty two years. As they’re introduced to their long lost brother, the Viceroy, the high in command, who is in charge of distributing food, whom they didn’t recognize, Yosef acts cold to them. They haven’t a clue that it’s him.  As the story develops Yosef congers up a plan placing their youngest brother, Benyamin, in which Yosef shared the same mother, Rachel, and was very close to, in jail. Yosef orchestrated the alleged theft framing his younger brother in order to test the brothers’ loyalty towards Benyamin, hoping they’ve learned their lesson.

 

QUESTIONS

1) After Yosef’s dialogue with his brothers reached its climax, he finally breaks down and says “I am Yosef — Is my father still alive?” [Bereshit 45:3] All the commentaries ask an obvious question: the entire dialogue between Yosef and his brothers was centered on their father. Yaakov had been the constant focus of Yosef’s questions and the brothers’ responses. So why does Yosef ask again if his father is still alive?

2) Once one examines the back and forth tense talk, between Yosef and Yehuda they’ll realize something odd on Yehuda’s defensive attack, the leader of the brothers and personal guarantor that Benyamin will return unscathed back to his father.

As Yehudah is making his impassioned plea to the Viceroy in Egypt (who he did not yet realize was his brother Yosef) to release Binyamin, he made the argument — “How can you not let him go? If his father finds out that he did not return, he will not be able to survive!” The Chiddushei HaRim points out that at that time, Binyamin had 10 children. Why did Yehudah not use the argument — how can you not let Binyamin go, you will leave 10 orphans!! They will not be able to survive without their father?

 

Rabbi Yissachar Frand brings out an unfortunate problem in today’s society.   Many of us can be seduced by the mighty Dollar. As a result some of our children do not receive the love which they need. One may ask. What does making money have to do with loving your children? Their parents are too busy making money by working 12, 14, or 16 hours a day to have time for their children. The parents are using the “land of opportunity” to the maximum at the expense of alienating their children. My mother, an immigrant of this country, would always say their family of five was much happier living in a two room apartment than today’s America where the privileged, each child has a separate wing with their own private bathrooms, but minimum contact with parents. Where is the love? Giving individual attention to each child is vital in their growth. We often hear this from parents when children go in the wrong path. “I don’t understand I provided him with everything”. Yeah, everything but attention!

Rabbi Frand brings an interesting true story, which explains Yosef’s question.

There was once a student whose father had deserted his family. This sort of student often causes a lot of problems for a teacher. He was totally “turned off” to everything. The teacher tried to become close to the child. He invited the child over to his house. Nothing helped. The child just sat there in class and did not participate.

As is unfortunately the case with teachers sometimes, the teacher was prepared to write this child off. “Put him in the back of the class; let him just sit there. Hopefully he will absorb some of what is being taught. I gave it my best shot; there is nothing more I can do.” And so that is what the teacher did.

For about half a year, the child just sat and ‘vegetated’. Finally, the class started Parshat VaYigash. They learned the dialogue between Yosef and the brothers. Then they learned the verse “I am Yosef — is my father still alive?” The Rebbe asked our question to the students — what does Yosef mean by this question?

This child from the back of the classroom, the one who had not participated for half the year, raised his hand and gave this incredibly poignant interpretation: “Yosef is saying, ‘I know that YOUR father is still alive, but is MY father still alive? Has my father given up on me? I have been away from home; I have been in a strange land for 22 years; is MY father still alive? Do I still have a father who cares about ME?'”

That child was not only asking Yosef’s question. He was asking his own question. Sometimes we have children who in different ways and in different forms are asking “Is my father still alive?” “Does my father still care about me?”

Children are very sensitive; they want to be loved by their parents to the highest degree. They are dependent on their mother and father. I would like to share an astonishing feeling I had when my father past away. When he left this world I felt abandoned. Surprisingly, I was forty one and leading my own family!! Even though, I was taking care of him the last ten years of his life I still felt he was taking care of me. My feelings of abandonment, is shared by many.

 We see how super-sensitive one is at forty one; can one imagine a child, a teen?

Rabbi Yossi Bilus brings a story where a friend of the family asked three brothers what was their best part of the trip to Israel. Interestingly, each one had a different answer, even though they are similar in age. One brother said “a trip to the Western Wall”; one said “a trip to Kever Rachel” and the last, sheepishly said “a trip to the mall”.

After carefully examining each trip, the friend of the family discovered on each occasion where the sons had the best time, seemingly the father happened to take each individually on that particular outing and had their own “father and son” time alone. They each received their undivided attention from their father. That is what made it a special moment.

Many children emulate their parents, whether it is at the present time or at a latter age. Perhaps, this is the best sign of endearment; perhaps, this is the optimal sign of respect. Perhaps, this is the highest sign of love.

However there is a major contradiction to what is said above. The Shalo”h Hakodesh writes a concept (which is also found in secular circles): One parent can take care of ten children but ten children cannot take care of one parent. The Chiddushei HaRim finds a source for this idea in this week’s parsha. When Yehudah made his impassioned plea to the Viceroy in Egypt (who he did not yet realize was his brother Yosef) to release Binyamin, he made the argument — “How can you not let him go? If his father finds out that he did not return, he will not be able to survive!” The Chiddushei HaRim points out that at that time, Binyamin had 10 children. Why did Yehudah not use the argument — how can you not let Binyamin go, you will leave 10 orphans!!!  They will not be able to survive without their father? Apparently, says Chiddushei HaRim, 10 children can somehow manage without a father, but a father cannot manage without one of 10 remaining sons.

This concept that a father’s attachment to his children is stronger than the children’s attachment to their father is the source for the Shaloh’s comment and for the similar concept that circulates in the world at large.

Our children love us and respect us, etc., but it is not the same as our love for them. Rabbi Frand once saw a very interesting explanation for this phenomenon. Every single human emotion that exists is something we received from Adam, the first human being. Adam had children and therefore he had in him the emotion of a parent’s love for his children. However, Adam did not have a father. He is the only person in the history of the world who did not have parents. Consequently, the emotion of love of child for parent was something he did not possess. It was an acquired skill developed in later generations, but it never had the strong genetically passed down roots that existed in the emotion of love towards children, which is innate in our personalities.

For this reason, Yehudah recognized that the stronger argument for the release of Binyamin would be “his father can’t survive his loss” rather than “his children will not be able to survive his loss.”

 Dr. Abba Goldman – psychologist from Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim adds, although Yaacov received reassurance from G-d that the genealogy of Yaacov will continue and not assimilate what was a strong incentive to go down to Egypt was reuniting with Yosef. This is the main reason Yaacov was lured to Egypt. Yaacov needed to see his beloved son.

The good Doctor continues; “It’s a natural instinct that kids gravitate towards independence.  Unfortunately, as they build their own lives, the role of dependency tend to reverse. Dr. Goldman says the commandment “Honoring your father and your mother” is not so simple. Many have a misconception about this commandment; it’s the least understood; they think – it primary pertains to children. On the contrary, dealing with old and cranky parents is the big test of “honoring”. However, one must prioritize and not let their “Honoring” impinge, to a large extent, on their relationship with their spouse and children”.

The question is who loves whom more: the parents or the children.

Rav Eliyahu Dessler writes in Michtav Eliyahu – it’s obviously the parents. The parents have given to the children most of their lives and there is a concept “the more you give – the more you love”. Even though there might be a degree of dependency at an old age, however, the parents, by and large have been the caretakers since the inception.

It’s very hard to fulfill the commandment of honoring one’s parents, especially when they’re old and cranky. Especially, when one has the pressure of raising young children, a demanding wife and bills mounting endlessly. Many of us take pride in honoring parents; however, on occasion our patience is tested.

Once, a son took his frustrations to an extreme.

 After his mother’s passing, the son moved the father in with him. He, Baruch Hashem, had a growing family. The father had some medical issues, but the son with the right care took care of it. But juggling family, work and an elderly father, who seemed like was blessed with longevity, became too challenging over the years. The loyal son became very impatient. Medical insurance was not covering all of the old man’s expenses. No matter how prosperous and modern thinking this country can be, it seems like it’s not prepared for the elderly. The son found himself behind the eight ball, in debt.

Pressure makes a person think irrationally. He decided to take some time off. As a child, the father would always take him camping. The stressed out son decided to take his father for a ride to the mountains. Rest and relaxation is therapeutic sometimes. The road was extremely and dangerously narrow and he had to drive carefully. As he was reaching his destination, an impulsive, horrifying idea surfaced.  The son thought, “here is my opportunity” as they were camped at the edge of the mountain. Still he decided to see his father’s face one last time before he commits his act of desperation. He was taken aback seeing his father with a smile. Knowing that his father was a very smart man, he curiously asked, “Pop, why are you smiling?” The father answered back, “I did the same thing to my father”.

The son felt a cold chill as he realized that how one treats one’s parent is how he will be treated. Quickly, he took he father out of danger.

The relationship between parents and children is a very important one. One often mimics their exchanges that they experienced with parents with their own kids therefore it’s very important that one gets it right the first time or we can  see a repeat flaw for generations.

The Ten Commandments and the concept of goodness

December 24, 2014 parshat Yitro No comments
This article was comprised using thoughts from Rabbi’s  Yitzchak Aminov, Akiva Tats, Aharon Goldring, Yossi Biluss, Baruch Dopelt and the wisdom of the Hebrew Alphabet

 

An event of significant measure to our Jewish nation occurred in this week’s parsha. We got the Torah!!!

The giving of the Torah was done with a tremendous and spectacular public display, with thunder and lightning and all the trimmings that has left  an imprint on generations till this very day.  The Ten Commandments were front and center in the coronation of our receiving the Torah. The whole world stood still as it was recited first by G-d then Moshe.

Interestingly if one goes through the passages of the Ten Commandments one will realize something puzzling. All the letters of the Hebrew alphabet are  present except for the letter  “Tet”   ט . Furthermore in the second version of the Ten Commandments which is found in Devarim (5:6-18) the letter   “Tet” ט,  does appear, “ULEHMA’AN YITAV LACH-and it will be good to you”. Why in this version does the  “Tet” ט  appear and in our parsha it does not?

In order to understand why the  “Tet” ט is missing in the first Ten commandments we have to understand  some basic concepts of letters and words in our Torah.  The Hebrew letters are the building blocks, the foundation of the world. One can understand the essence of a person through his name, which consists of a combination of letters from the alef bet.  We can know many personality traits about an individual through his identity at the brit or, for a girl, at the Aliya’LaTorah reading. Furthermore there is a tradition if someone is very sick an additional name is added.

Every Hebrew name has a mission in life; apparently the individual who is sick has exhausted his mission. Therefore a new name is added to give another purpose, another task to accomplish and perhaps extend his life.  It’s also vital that one has a Hebrew name.

Although it seems like it’s after the fact; we discovered through the secret codes of the Torah, combining different sequences of letters point to significant events in our history. Apparently the Hebrew letters are a powerful tool. One should even try to pray in Lashon Hakodesh-the holy language and pronounce the Hebrew letters.

When the first letter of its kind appears for the very first time in the Torah, the word that it’s associated with is the essence of the letter. So when the first time Tet” ט, appears it is in the word TOV-good (Bereshit 1:4) This shows the letter  Tet” ט, is a general symbol for goodness.

The Sages explain: We know the first Tablets were smashed by Moshe as a result of  the nation sinning with the golden calf. Had the Tablets contained the word TOV, the world would have feared that the smashing of   the LUCHOT-Tablets signified that all TOV-goodness on earth had come to an end. In order to spare mankind the anxiety, G-d omitted the ט     (Baba Kama 55a).  The second Tablets, though, were not smashed and were not brought down in the midst of negative energy and therefore they contained the word Tov.

We learn that each letter came to G-d and asked that they should be the letter representing the Torah.  G-d said to the letter TET, when it approached him with the request, ” There is no need for you to have the initial letter of my holy scripture, because  your essence, goodness, is hidden”.  Where is it hidden?

We mentioned before, the first time we find the word Tov in the Torah it’s referring to  the light, “VAHYA’AR KITOV-and he saw it was good”.  G-d created light on the first day. Later on, the scripture again mentions that He created light on the fourth day. Didn’t G-d create light already? Did G-d create 2 lights?  Yes. The Sages explain that the “first day light” was a magnificent spiritual light that was taken away and hidden.

Later on the word TOV appears again.  The Torah attributes the virtue of TOV-good to the new born Moshe….As we read “VAYAR OTO KITOV WHO-when she (Moshe’s mother) saw that he was good” she hid him three months (Shemot 2:2)) The word TOV is crowned with five crowns in the Torah, symbolizing that the infant Moshe was destined to transmit the 5  holy books, a body of work full of hidden goodness and light, the first light, to Israel.

Why was the TET brought down in the second version in the fifth Commandment, which happens to be ” Respect you Father and your Mother”?

One should know and realize by looking at the tablets in which the Ten Commandments are placed on (found in every synagogue in the world), that one half represents man’s relationship with G-d while the other half represents man’s relationship with his fellow man. If one examines it closely however, one will notice “honoring your father and your mother” is placed in the wrong column; on the side that represents man’s relationship with G-d. Clearly, as far as I’m concerned, parents are humans and they belong on the other side of the tablets. Perhaps the designer thought it would look awkward having six and four placed on the Aron Kodesh (place where you keep the Torahs). Five and five look much better and even; it gives more presence to the Synagogue, especially the well-to-do ones. We learn an important lesson about parents. It’s the obligation and responsibility of the Father and Mother to transmit the Torah to the children. The parents are the trusted chain that G-d empowers to transmit the hidden goodness . For this reason they’re in the same column.

Also, there is an interesting insight by the commentary the Ba’al HaTurim on the difference of the first set of Ten Commandments and the second. However a brief introduction of Gematria has to be presented:

Gematria (Hebrew: גימטריא/גימטריה gēmaṭriyā) is a Jewish system of numerology that assigns a numerical value to a word or phrase, in the belief that words or phrases with identical numerical values bear some relation to each other, or bear some relation to the number itself as it may apply to a person’s age, the calendar year, or the like. The best-known example of Gematria is the Hebrew word Chai (“alive”), which is composed of two letters which  add up to 18. This has made 18 a “lucky number” among Jews, and gifts in multiples of 18 are very common.[1]

The second Tablets contain seventeen words more then the first. The gematria of TOV is seventeen, indicating that the second Tablets relieved man’s fear that goodness has disappeared.

Intellect vs Emotions

December 24, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
This article was comprised using thoughts from  Chidushay Halev by Rav Henoch Liebowitz z’l

 On the morning of Rosh Hashanah, Rivka [Rebecca] went into the bedroom to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready to go to the synagogue [Shul], to which he replied in a dull voice, “I’m not going.”
“Why not?” Rivka demanded. “I’ll give you two good reasons, Mother.” he said. “One, they don’t like me, and two, I don’t like them.”  Rivka replied in an exasperated voice, “I’ll give you two good reasons why you must go to the synagogue. One, you’re 54 years old, and two, you’re the Rabbi.”
Rabbi’s are people too.  No one is immune; they  also can get sucked in to the emotions of their job.
If one knows a little American history. Henry Kissinger was the  Secretary of State back in the 1970’s under President Richard Nixon. He was considered by many as a very smart man. There was a popular joke about emotions and intellect involving the smartest man of his time:
Three people were on an airplane: Henry Kissinger, a boy scout, and a Rabbi. They will find out that the plane is in distress and will crash shortly. There are only two parachutes!! Henry Kissinger grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. So, the Rabbi goes to the boy scout ‘take the parachute. Son, I’m a lot older than you. You have a long life ahead of you. Please take the parachute. The boy laughs ‘Don’t worry, Rabbi. There are two left .The smartest man in the world just took my knapsack.’

           When situations are such that one is forced to make a decision with great deal of emotions involved, in this case facing life and death on the airplane, a greater amount mistakes will occur. The intellect has to have greater control over the emotions to have a good functional system.
           Desire is another emotion that can be devastating, even when one has time on his side; it’s a slow kill. If the desire is strong enough, then chances are it’s not governed by intellect. One may think he’s rational but it’s the emotion that stems from the desire that’s talking. What’s that expression? Don’t confuse me with the facts, I made my decision.
Rashi said Pharaoh refused to be humbled before G-d (Shemot 10:3). When the Egyptians began to enslave the Jews, Pharaoh rationalized that we can really use them and gain from their productivity. However, G-d had other plans and Pharaoh realized himself it wasn’t beneficial to enslave them. His advisers warned him also Egypt will be lost if the enslavement of the Jews continues. Their powerful G-d will destroy us. Pharaoh who was considered very smart knew that these plagues will destroy his kingdom. Yet his ego didn’t allow him to let them go.
But how does one understand Pharaohs behavior? Apparently, it should be the opposite. If Pharaoh was so concerned about his Honor and protect his ego, he would have let the Jews out the first chance he had knowing he’s going to lose his status and wealth. There’s no comparison; it’s a no-brainer. What’s at stake? Pharaoh can lower his head and let them go and still maintain his kingdom and perhaps a good chance of being considered a superpower. Or he would hold firm and continue to enslave the Israelites and inevitably his army would be destroyed and Egypt will never ever gain the glorified position it holds and Pharaoh would be labeled a fool by the world. Let’s not overlook that he sinned in front of G-d and will be accounted for it after his life is over.
             Why did he make such a decision? Isn’t it mind boggling?
              Pharaohs inflated ego was making the decisions. This desire, which stems from the heart, overrides the intellect. No matter how logical and factual the emotions block out the intellect where even the smartest man in the world will not make a rational decision. Even if his advisors are begging him to let them go and the plague are causing devastation, Pharaoh will feel confident that it’s the right choice. It’s a scary thought, how many decisions people make based on desire; desire for honor and women.
              People don’t realize that desire is an emotion because one can be seen as acting normal, however it influences us. When the desire is alleviated even briefly, one can realize the wrong decisions he has made and the time he wasted. The frightening aspect about desire even a most influential friend with sound advice may not be able to get through because his message will be blocked.

The Mystique About Tefillin

December 24, 2014 Uncategorized No comments
Tefillin” taken from the writings of R’ Aryeh Kaplan

In the memorable inception of becoming a man, I spent time alone in the early morning at my grandparents’ house in Israel, trying on my new pair of Tefillin. Our family visited Israel; my parents thought it would be a great idea for me, the bar mitzvah boy, to put Tefillin on for the first time at the Kotel (Wailing Wall). The Kli Yakar mentions that the Western Wall is where the forming of the souls originates. Perhaps that is why when one visits the Kotel, they feel a burst of spirituality. For this reason, it might be a ‘get off on the right foot’ the first mitzvah that a bar mitzvah boy does would be super.
Even though I’ve been to Israel many times before, it was still a culture shock; perhaps this is why Israelis would label us ‘pampered Americans’. My grandparents lived in an industrial part of Tel Aviv where mini – and I mean “mini” factories   would start drilling very early in the morning, which would thump me out of bed, uncharacteristically early. Every place in a person’s life has a certain flavor, scent, look, taste and feel. My grandparents’ neighborhood in Florentine, Tel Aviv will live in my memory bank for a long time with its uniqueness.
The scent of the brand new leather Tefillin straps smelled great although the head Tefillin was a bit large. I was waiting for Pop to come and adjust it. As instructed by my father earlier, the passage that is found in this week’s Parsha, Kadesh lee kol bechor, should be emphasized. Every morning when I say that passage, it reminds me of that morning where the first exploration took place.

For many years before, I would observe my father and upper grade boys in school put theirs on and my classmates and I would beg them for an opportunity to wrap their tefillin. I remember when I got my tefillin and smelled the scent of the new black leather straps and feeling of ‘hey I’m a grown up’, was nice. Although it’s been awhile since I bought a new car, the black exterior is preferred, popular and expensive, but why a black collar for tefillin? Why the leather and square box? Why the puny animal hairs that stick out from the box? One has probably asked himself over the years a pretty basic question; why does one need this strange contraption to get close to G-d? Perhaps, I would think it is better suited to meditate or give a good cry.In order to answer these questions, one has to understand the Torah concept of closeness. Spiritual closeness, which is very different than physical, is obtained by having resemblances. For example, one can be on the other side of the world and still maintain a strong bond with his friend, a spiritual closeness, because they share the same ideology. If I like pastrami with sweet red peppers and Boaz in Israel likes pastrami with sweet red peppers, we resemble each other and in this concept are considered close. In the spiritual world, it’s impossible to bring two opposites together; therefore, good and bad people will have no contact with each other once they die. Sometimes strangers can exist with each other. It’s important to note, there is a way where spiritual things can be bound to the material. For example, good and evil urges are polar opposites; they exist together only with a material physical body, which is the common denominator; they could never be brought together otherwise.

G-d and man are also worlds apart. It’s only by binding ourselves to the same physical object that we can get close to Him. The physical tefillin we wear are the counterpart of what G-d has on. In each detail, they parallel G-d’s spiritual tefillin and because they resemble them they are spiritually very close to each other and that links us to G-d.
We are told from various accounts about near death experiences that seeing the light, which presumably is G-d, is a very exhilarating sight. The Zohar teaches that G-d chooses to be hidden because if He would be more open, there will not be freedom of choice. Man would not struggle to find answers about life; he would not have difficulty making a living. He would not need to try to fill voids in his life to be happy, trying various things to reach some satisfaction. He’s being discreet casts a spell of confusion. Therefore, man has to find ways to climb the mountain. Every day should be a learning experience. In order to achieve success in his spirituality and physicality, he has to use his creativity. This is one reason why tefillin is black, indicating that G-d’s purpose is dark and hidden. The white parchment found inside are only to be found when one penetrates this black barrier. The square is the archetype of man; it’s not a natural shape. Round is the way of the world, (hakafot on Simchat Torah, Hoshanas on Sukkoth, Chatan and Kallah dancing in a circle (separately of course.) The meaning of the square is that the ultimate goal is in man’s hand; he can change the natural occurrence of the world through creativity. He is able to take this physical animalistic world and enhance it spiritually. This is the reason everything in the tefillin is made from an animal product. Man is only perfected through his animal nature, which is through his physical body. Man’s main link with G-d is with his physical observance of his commandments.
If you look carefully at the head of the tefillin, you will find four very short hairs coming out near the base between the third and fourth sections. One of the ways we resemble G-d is the practice of free will, and one of the ingredients to have free will is the existence of evil. This evil is the hair in the tefillin, which is symbolic to the hair of a calf. The golden calf is one of archetypes of evil. This hair that is in the tefillin which man wears, ultimately connects all evil to G-d. Therefore, it is also the channel through which all evil can be brought back and be redeemed. We are not perfect and man has to go through an experience of a shameful gehenom (hell) even for a mere moment. By wearing the tefillin, he fulfills the obligations and saves him from a more stringent judgment. This explains why a particular Chassidic group stands in a street corner and urges people to put on tefillin. Therefore, it’s very important to wear tefillin every day.
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