Kabalah -BENEFICIAL OR DANGEROUS

KABALAH-BENEFICIAL OR DANGEROUS

The “practicality” philosophy that America preaches and believes in, has a great deal of influence on yours truly. Furthermore, being raised all my life in the Ashkenazi yeshiva school system  has instilled in me a prudent and “down to earth” way of looking at things. However, I am a Sefardic Jew, and some of us like to be adventurous seeking high falutin experiences to say the least. This kind of  contrast at times can be most difficult. However,   every so often it can have  an unpredictable and refreshing  way of observing things.  Perhaps that is the reason people read this publication. There are many different approaches  on any given topic. We are proud to say we try to accommodate all.

  There is an example of the “adventurous” vs the “practical”. How many remember reading the first volume of the Me’am Loez in English. Many loved  the psycadelic angels and demons and extra terrestrials that were incorporated throughout the book!! Others found it to be not for them.
  Lets take the topic a step further. We humans have many issues and problems that we have to deal with; that’s life. We live a high pressured life style that requires “on demand” quick and precise answers.  Many  Americans benefit by using a psychiatrist to help them through their problems while some of us Jews have Rabbi’s and Kabbalists. Oh yes, you heard right kabbalist not therapist. We  occasionally want to beat the system and come out on top and a kabbalist,  can provide us with precisely that.
 A Kabbalist, if one believes in this approach,  can help give many an angle on some of the tough decisions that one makes. Some believe they get an edge on making difficult decisions consulting with a Kabbalist/Rabbi.
  When I was in the jewelery business I once send out merchandise worth about $20,000 on the recommendation of someone to a store out in Arkansas. The trade book gave them an excellent rating. However, the owner recently retired and handed over the helm to his daughter who was not very capable, to say the least. The daughter sent back the merchandise to the wrong address uninsured!!. After refusing to pay and answer my calls I, with the recommendation of a friend from another neighboring state hired a lawyer. The law is one can only hire a lawyer from the state of which the defendant is being sued. Having a choice of 3 lawyers I asked a kabbalist, Rabbi Shienberger z’l, from the Sanza Rebbi dynasty, who would be the best choice for my case. He chose one & was right ; I retrieved most of my money.
 The question is asked; do kabbalists actually have special powers? Where do they get their powers? Is it possible they can get their energy source from a negative evil side?
There are different types of powers that kabbalists possess which they learned from the Jewish mystical traditions. Every one has a different source of power which they learned from their teacher (Rebbi) through tradition.
1-chochmat hayad- palm reading
2-chochmat hapartzuf- Knowing about an individual by looking at his face
3- combination of Hebrew names
4-koach hanefesh- Some have a gift from G-d; they are able to feel what can happen in the future. Although, at times its not so reliable sometimes, it can be very accurate. The individual can hone and sharpen his gift through learning Torah. This may not be considered kabbalah. It may be genetic.
5-Unknown- There, most likely, may be other forms of power source.
If one does practice the mystical tradition he would have to be granted permission to do so from a superior Rabbi.
 In this weeks parsha we find the collaboration of Bilam and Balak, both experts in black magic, both Jew haters, on a mission to destroy the Jews.
How did Bilam and Balak have knowledge of such powers?
  We learn a very interesting but difficult passage referring to our forefather Avraham: Abraham marries Keturah at the end of  parshat Chayei Sarah, and Rashi tells us that this is Hagar. When the Torah refers to someone by introducing the figure with “Shmo” or “shma” (“His/her name is”) we know that the Torah is describing the person’s essence. In this case we know that Ketura was really Hagar, Abraham’s concubine, but something about her essence involved incense, as Rashi tells us (the word Ketura is related in incense).
“And to the children of Avraham’s pilagshim (concubines-which the midrash recognizes as Hagar or Ketura) Avraham gave presents to, and sent them away from the vicinity of Yitzchok,his son, while he was still alive, eastward, to the country of the east.” There were six sons whom received gifts.

Note the following:
1. “presents…while he was still alive” tells us that Yitzchok was his sole heir.
2. “Presents” coming from Avrohom must indeed have connoted something special and unusual. Just what were the presents? The Gemara is Sanhedrin 91a (on the bottom) teaches us that Avraham gave everything he had to Yitzchok, physically and spiritually. What then, were the gifts that he give the sons of Ketura? Answers Rav Yirmiya bar Aba, “He gave over to them “The use of G-d’s name with impurity.” This Rashi tells us means that he taught them black magic and demonology. Some Sages teach us some of the black magic had to do with  incense. The knowledge of this power, Avraham received from Paroah as a gift, along with his daughter Hagar when he went to Egypt. The Maharsha asks there how could it be that Avrohom taught Ketura’s children Kishuf (black magic) which is forbidden by the Torah?
 Avraham passed down the power of kedusha to his son Yitzchak. We learned that there has to be an equilibrium in the world or else freedom of choice can not exist. Therefore just as goodness was passed to Yitzchak, so too evil black magic was reviled and given to his other sons.
Interestingly, there are other forms of negative energy. One of which is cross breeding.
The Torah prohibits the cross-breeding of species. This action is called kelaim. Shaatnez is crossbreeding linen and wool, Chessed and Gevurah,  and has tremendous ramification in the spiritual world.
 When these negative energies are created they can be formed to be more of a potent element by Evil people

Evil and impurity are often referred to in the Zohar as “the other side” [sitra achra], meaning the side distinct from, and opposed to holiness. Evil is also referred to as kelipa, meaning literally “shell” or “bark”. The kelipa conceals within it a spark of holiness, which is the vital force by virtue of which the kelipa exists, analogous to a fruit surrounded by a shell or peel. In order to release the holy spark the encumbering shell must be removed.

 

Kabbalah uses the term Kelipah to describe evil. Literally, Kelipah means a “peel” or “shell,” as in the peel of a fruit.

An orange will not retain its juice if it does not have a protective jacket. However when one eats the orange, one discards the peel. The peel is only there to preserve the fruit. The same is true of the existence of evil.
The Zohar distinguishes among four kelipot, three of which are entirely evil. The fourth, kelipat noga, is the shell which actually envelops the spark of holiness. It thus has direct contact with holiness and is not entirely evil. The other three kelipot surround kelipat noga and are therefore further removed from holiness.

 

Kabbalah divides everything in this world into either Sitra D’Kedushah (the side of holiness) or Sitra Achra (the side of impurity)-literally meaning “the other side,” or the side of Kelipah. There is nothing that is in between-every thought, speech, action, or creation has its source either in Kedushah or Kelipah.

 

The Midrash states that prior to the creation of this world, G-d created other worlds and destroyed them. The first world created was the World of Chaos taken from the word in Genesis 1:2, “In the beginning of G-d’s creating the heavens and earth, the earth was Tohu Vavohu-chaotic and empty. There was a great advantage of the World of Chaos, for it was brilliant and filled with intense Lights. Its great disadvantage was that each Sefirah ( sefirah (pl. sefirot) is a channel of Divine energy or life-force. This most fundamental concept of Kabbalah is that in the process of creation an intermediate stage was emanated from God’s infinite light to create what we experience as finite reality) was egotistic and wanted all the Light for itself, unable to share or co-exist with another. The root of independence and ego therefore stems from the World of Chaos.

 

Such a world could not exist so it was destroyed and a much better World of Correction (Tikkun) was constructed. Where then the new world was called the World of Correction.

Many people beleive one should not get involved with a Kabbalist. What tends to happen is one often begins to rely too much on the kabbalist, on his kochot (strength) hakabala and forgoes his own kochot of the brain. However for those who are able to minimize their request to the “absolutely necessary” then perhaps, it can help one in life.

 

Interestingly, my father z’l passed away from prostate cancer. Unfortunately, it was diagnosed late where it already reached the bone. Nevertheless, it was localized and was under control for many years. After the illness reached an advanced stage there is no standard treatment. All the oncologists basically perform their own doctrine of medicine. Everyone had his own contraption mixing various  medication, such as different hormone therapy with chemo-therapy. I guess one can equate it to the wild wild west, where anything goes. There is no supervision; if it works, it works. Its the same with kabalah; it seems like after a certain time and experience  each kabalist has his own method.

Perhaps the reason for the “wild wild west” disparity is that each one of us, because of our diversity, has the ability to reach the highest level through our own unique way.  Conceivably, it was designed that way. There is more of an individuality; there is more of a particularity when dealing with the higher level. The essence of a person stands out more when one reaches this lofty level. He’s able to rise above with the strength of his name SHEMO.  However, and this is a very important prerequisite, one can only reach that level when he has refined his character by being aware of the importance of giving, performing chessed, and being sensitive to others.

 

Lets take Avraham our forefather; remember he gave the gifts to his children from Ketura. Perhaps we will see why Avraham gave gifts to those sons without string attached  while to his chosen son Yitzchak  he incorporated character development along with the secret kabbalah tradition .  When Avraham had his brit milah (circumcition) at a very old age,he wanted to do chessed-kindness. His trusted servant, Eliezer, whom he sent out to find people, came back saying he couldn’t find anybody to perform kindness. No individual was present in the heatwave. Avraham said I cannot trust my slave. There has to be someone out there.  This is  very strange. Avraham later on trusted Eliezer in finding his son Yitzchak a wife; he was his right hand man. How can he not trust him?

 

Chessed is an opportunity The world is build on chessed-kindness. The love of man kind  that one masters through this great trait is crucial in maintaining the existence of the world. With chessed one  fixes the TIKUN of this world contrasting the world of TOHU VAVOU. Then and only then it will  lead  one to sharpen his own individuality. In this way one is able to bring out the orange from the klipa.

 

I once spoke to an individual, a chasidic fellow, who practically went to every kabbalist in the world. A few years ago, out of frustration he stopped cold turkey. He said “I can get just as close to G-d as they do. Perhaps, at times,  they can give me the right answers nevertheless I’d rather go one on one’. One has to really do his homework in knowing how legitimate a kabbalist is. I know how legitimate my prayers are. I feel I am in control having a conversation with G-d.”

 

Going to a kabalist is not for everybody. For some it can be beneficial however for some it can be destructive

You delivered the mighty into the hands of the weak

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Berril Wein, Yissachar Frand Noach, Yossi Bilus,  Baruch Dopelt

Chanukah is wonderful! Chanukah is  fun! Lighting the menorah and spinning the dreidel is always enjoyable! As a matter of fact, it has been pointed out that this is in keeping with Jewish practice. For some mystical reason, Jews keep this “Rabbinic” holiday with a tenacious loyalty. The 1991 JNF Jewish Population Survey found that of 5.5 million Jews in America more than 3.5 million have no synagogue affiliation. Yet, more than 74% celebrate Chanukah. Only later they may ask, “What’s Chanukah?”
One reason for this phenomenon may be that the Mitzvah of Chanukah is for “each person and his household”. There are no grand social production or central authority, no dues, fees, or bureaucracies to outdo. One only needs to have lived in a Jewish home and there is likely a happy Chanukah memory planted there.

 However, there perhaps might be something more deeper than that. Lets explore why Chanukah is so popular. There is an obvious question that comes up every year about how the holiday always falls on the Shabbat when the parsha we read is Miketz. Conceivably, if we find the common denominator – Chanukah’s popularity will become more clear.
  The Torah reveals to us as we open the parsha that Paroah has a dream. He is very disturbed by this dream wherein seven lean cows eat seven fat cows. None of the chachamim – intelegencia of Egypt can interpret the dream for him, and this troubles him even more.
  Even if we assume that the Egyptian Pharoahs were much more superstitious than modern man, it seems rather odd that a head of state should get so upset about a crazy dream. What is so upsetting about seven lean cows swallowing seven fat cows?
 Can one imagine what would the Press do if they got hold of the story that Obama had a bad dream and is very troubled by it.
The late night talk show hosts would have a field day!! Imagine!! ” Yeah, seven skinny congressmen swallowing seven fat congressmen- there goes Obama-care”.
 Please no garlic before you go to sleep; that is the cause of bad dreams. This opens up flood gate of nighttime medications usage. One can just imagine Nightquil stock rise to an all time high.
 In order to understand the great concern Pharoah had for his bad dream, a little piece of history has to be presented for us to realize the pulse of society and how it changed due to the Jewish influence.
   In the late 1800s there arose to prominence a highly influential German philosopher by the name of Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900). No serious thinker has done more harm to the Jewish people than Friedrich Nietzsche, whose writings were an important inspiration for Adolph Hitler and Nazism. Yet far from being an antisemitic, Nietzsche was one of the most pro-Jewish German writers of his time. Though debatable if Friedrich Nietzsche was anti-Semitic, no one debates that the Nazis used his writings to create the most lethal ideological brew in history – one leading to world war and the annihilation of 6 million Jews.
 What we will take out of his philosophy, for our purposes, is what he wrote pertaining to Christianity. He begins by painting Judaism as the root of all evil.   Nietzsche pointed out that the despised Christian religion had its roots in Judaism. Ideas such as “Love thy neighbor,” “turn the other cheek,” “be charitable” contradicted the idea of the Survival of the Fittest and the Übermensch. It was for the weak.
 “All that has been done on earth against ‘the nobles,’ the ‘mighty, the ‘overlords,’…is as nothing compared to what the Jews did against them: the Jews, that priestly people who were only able to obtain satisfaction against their enemies and conquerors through a radical revaluation of the latter’s values, that is, by an act of the most spiritual revenge….It was the Jews who…dared to invert the aristocratic value-equation…saying ‘the wretched alone are the good ones, the poor, the helpless, the lowly….”
 Nietzsche’s Philosophy was nothing new; he didn’t re-invent the wheel. Ancient world believed ” the strong survives and the week dies”. This belief was the way of the world.
   Rabbi Yissachar Frand  enlightens us through the teachings of Rav Shimon Schwab (1908-1995) that  Pharaoh’s whole dominion, like that of any dictator, was based on the premise that the mighty will dominate the weak. “I have the troops. I have the force. Therefore I can impose my will, because no one can do anything against me.” No one can utter a word.
Pharaoh was so bothered by this dream because it portrayed a situation wherein the weak dominated the powerful. It was the seven lean cows that swallowed the seven fat cows. He understood that as not just a silly dream, but as a terrible omen from heaven. He saw this as a Divine message that his dominion was not secure despite his power. This message shook him to the core, for it undermined the premise of his whole monarchy.
Rab Schwab further points out that Parshas Miketz always coincides with Chanukah. This is a constant of the Jewish calendar. It is not just a coincidence. One of the major themes of Chanukah is the idea that “the mighty fell into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few”, as we say in the Al HaNissim prayer.
  This is what we taught the world. It’s an appealing concept that perhaps the underdogs can prevail. The Miracle Mets that rocked the Baseball world in 1969,  Israel, a tiny country winning the ’67 War against the compiling Arab nations. There was no logic in their victories.
 The Macabees proved that the underdog can win. They proved that the laws of nature is not the prevailing last word. That there is a G-d and He can, at will, say” hey Mack, not so fast. I run the show. It’s my world”. He can proclaim “the fly will crush the elephant”; the Jewish people will win over the strongest army in the world and that oil can burn eight days rather than one.
 The Macabees didn’t put their lives in danger for land or for a better materialistic lifestyle. They endangered themselves because the Jews’ primary essence “the Torah” was at stake. This is what they fought for; this is what they deemed important that they would risk their lives. The Torah is what makes us – Jews! And the fact that we defended it, G-d made us victorious!
 We see the concept “G-d’s will prevails throughout the Torah” whether it be David over Goliath or even in our subject matter of Yossef and his brothers. Yossef survives against all odds and rises all the way to the top of the world. As he climbs the latter of success he even saves his brothers from the famine.
 This is what is so appealing about Chanukah. Perhaps we feel for the underdog  because we are underdogs ourselves!!! Perhaps deep down in every Jewish soul they believe that against all of nature – G-d will change their fortune. Perhaps….perhaps, they believe in G-d.

 

When the dreamer collides with the realist….BOOM!!!

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Berril Wein, Yissachar Frand Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Yossi Bilus, and Dr. Abba Goldman
Boro Park 1963 and Alexanders on Queens Blvd where many of our mothers shoped

My parents immigrated, from Israel, to this great big country in 1960. They had hopes and dreams like many settlers who stepped on American soil. My father, whose dream of coming to the United States ever since he was a teenager, was so disappointed after the first three months of arriving, he wanted to go back. However, my mother firmly objected, stating “we are here and we’ll make the best of it”. Their sleeping arrangement was quite difficult back then; they used the living room drapes to cover themselves in the Boro Park apartment shared by relatives; my father slept on the floor while my mother slept on the couch. Money did not grow on the trees as it was thought and they struggled mightily in the early years.

There is a photo, which I recall, in my parents pictures archives, where they were sitting in the living room with our basement tenant, a single guy from Israel, a very recent immigrant, in our Rego Park home in the early 60’s. It seamed they were all excited, full of energy; they were hungry, eager, full of hope, to sink their teeth into the American workforce. My parents and their friends, who came around the same time, like many wanted to express to their loved ones, back home, that they made it!!; they were successful in the land of opportunity.


In this week’s parsha we learn a very valuable lesson about life. It becomes evident from the beginning that there is a clear difference between Yosef and his brothers. Yosef is the classic dreamer, his head in the stars and his youthful high spirits and certainty in the truthful outcome of his dreams becomes very irritating to his siblings. The brothers, on the other hand, have their feet firmly implanted on the ground, in the reality of the world in which they exist.

Yosef feels the brothers have been unjust for rejecting his dreams immediately and they in turn are convinced that he and his dreaming constitute a veritable danger to the unity and survival of Yaakov’s family.

By carefully analyzing the conflict between Yosef and his brothers, and for the most part, Yehuda, since he’s the leader, the underlying message is the difference of inspirational theory of Judaism and it’s sometimes day to day practice of practical reality – of what can be achieved even though it is not exactly what one dreamt of achieving. Although it presents itself as two separate entities, Yosef and his brothers, it is our utmost responsibility to combine both.

The Jewish people in its long and difficult history have somehow been able to fuse together the spirit and dreams of Yosef with the hardheaded realism of his brothers. Both traits are necessary for our survival and accomplishments, both as individuals and as a nation. Someone without dreams and ambition, who refuses to reach heavenward and conquer the stars, will never be a truly creative or original person. However, if this drive is not tempered by a realistic sense of the situation and the society that surrounds us, then all dreams are doomed to eventually disappoint.

Our celebration this week of the holiday of Chanukah is based on the kindness of G-d for performing the great miracles on his chosen people. However, it’s vital that we should not rely on miracles; one cannot sit back expect G-d to deliver; one has to put effort; it’s quite important that one has to use brains; he has to be clever to handle any situations that’s presented. If after all the efforts are exhausted then and only then may he turn to G-d.

The Macabees were a small band of untrained individuals, clearly the underdogs, with the dream of beating the most powerful nation in the world. They had the hope, the dream, the drive of Yosef combining the ingenuity and practicality of Yehuda and the brothers. The Macabees found a method where they were able to inflict a wound under the elephant, the Greeks most powerful and deadly weapon. There is a soft spot in the location of the elephant, where the Jewish warriors were able to inflict a devastating knife wound. Although, one of Matityahu’s (the Jewish leader) sons was killed in an attempt, the huge animal trampled him. The experience, although at a terrible price, had enabled them to refine the method of attack. The motivation and dream of regaining the holy Temple with the ingenuity of finding the right clever warfare approach led to the Jewish victory. It’s incredible!! The Macabees subdued the greatest empire in the world. This band of Kohanim organized an effective military.

 

A VISION OF YOSEF IS IMPLANTED

In the Shabbat morning Amida (Shemoneh Esrei) we read “YISMACH MOSHE BEH MATANAT CHELKO”, Moshe was happy. What exactly Moshe was happy about?

It says in tractate Baba Kama(10:2) that G-d was speaking to Moshe and said ” I have a present in my secret chamber and it is Shabbat, and I want to give it to the Jewish people. So please, Moshe, go and bring the good news to them”. It was for this reason that “Yismach Moshe”, that Moshe was ecstatic to be the one to deliver the news.

When the Jews were in Egypt, Moshe saw how torturously overworked they were, so he convinced Pharaoh to give them one day off to rest. He reasoned that ” if one wants to maximize the production of his workers, one has to give them a day of rest. That day was the seventh day, Shabbat. Therefore, Moshe was happy.

This day, Shabbat, which Pharaoh gave them to rest, was a very significant day for them in the spiritual growth and hope for the redemption. They would congregate and read from Megilot (scripts) about how G-d was going to redeem them; it was a very inspirational day. It gave them a vision for the future. However, when Pharaoh discovered what was being conducted on these Shabbat gatherings (not sure if Cholent was served!!) he discontinued them. After this disclosure, he made them work double on Shabbat with no straw to work with.

But it was too late; the seed was planted. The Jews in Egypt now saw beyond the bricks and straws. They saw the future, a bright one. This was due to the ability to hope. The Yosef in each Jew began to flourish.

 

YOSEF AND YEHUDA

This story of Yosef and his brothers, particularly the roles of Yosef and Yehuda, does not end with the narrative of the Torah here in Bereshit. In later Jewish history, after the death of King Shlomo, the Jewish nation is split into two sections – the kingdom of Israel (Yosef) and the kingdom of Yehuda (the house of David.) Thus the competition between the two leading sons of Yakov’s family, Yehuda and Yosef, survived centuries of attempted unity. And the eventual result of this split within the Jewish nation was disaster for both sections of that nation. Both sections of the nation were weakened.

The Rabbis of the Talmud divided the Messiah himself into two personages – Moshiach ben Yosef and Moshiach ben Dovid (a descendant of the tribe of Yehuda.) The former was to pave the way for the latter, but both were part of the envisioned messianic process. Apparently, Jewish redemption and fulfillment is dependent on both Yosef and Yehuda and is destined to realization only if both are full participants in the process.

Yosef remains a holy Jew, in spite of his being exposed to the decadence of the prevailing Egyptian culture. He is an integral part of the Egyptian court and world, but he really is only an outsider looking in and not really desirous of “belonging” to the culture that surrounds him. Yosef is the model for the Jew who is successful in the general world but doggedly determined to remain faithful to his own soul, tradition and destiny as a son of Yakov. Yehuda is much more cautious and conservative. He has seen the outside world, the general society and is frightened to become part of it. Yehuda has lost sons, has suffered tragedy and disappointment, has made errors and risen from sin, and is willing to sacrifice all to remain Jewish and save other Jews. Yehuda does not wish to be Yosef. He sees Yosef’s way as being too dangerous, too risky – certainly for the masses of Israel. Yosef, on the other hand, cannot see a future for Israel if it is completely isolated from the general society, of which it is a part, no matter what Israel’s preference in the matter may be.
Yosef takes the risks and is successful in maintaining his Jewishness and in raising holy children and grandchildren, in the midst of the squalor of Egyptian culture. But Yehuda is also successful in his way and Yosef and Yehuda therefore march in lock step throughout Jewish history. They remain competitors and sometimes they have harsh things to say to and about each other and their different paths. But in the end, they are both the pillars of Jewish survival and society. They complement each other even if many times they do not utter compliments about each other. They are partners in the messianic and redemptive historical process of Jewish history. They are both still here with us today in our own personal and national struggle to build a Torah nation and a good world. We should appreciate their presence and influence upon us.

That generation of builders, our parents, are now the great grandparents of today’s young. What were the results of their dreams?

If the achievements of the dreams and hope of Yosef were planted with the skillful practicality of Yehuda, there is a good chance that success was imminent. As Theodore Roosevelt said “I want men to fix their eyes on the stars, but they must not forget to feel the ground on which they walk”

After World War II, the future Rosh Yeshiva (headmaster) of the Ponevezh Yeshiva, one of the largest Yeshiva in the world today, Rabbi Yosef Kahaneman, was quoted as saying , as he stood on a hill where the future yeshiva stands overlooking Bnai Brak Israel, “I am going to build B’H a tremendous Yeshiva”. He was told “you must be dreaming”. He answered back “I’m dreaming, however I’m not sleeping”.” One has to work on his dreams in order to be successful!!!”

introduction to Chanukah

Introduction to Chanukah
Once one lets the Jeanie is out of the bottle and one knows once its out it’s pretty hard to put it back in. There was one incident which demonstrated this which broke the armor of the Jewish way of life. This happened when Alexander the great came to inspect his new conquest. The Jews were naturally scared; after all we Jews don’t have the best track record of being liked by the rest of the world.

Upon entering the gate of the city Alexander did something very unusual and down right shocking, he got off his horse and prostrated to one of the Jewish members of the welcoming community, Yochanan the High Priest. Asked by his advisers why he bowed down to the Jew. He answered “I always saw an angel before I went to battle that led me to victory and that’s the face”.

Alexander was kind to the Jews. He eased the restrictions and hardship imposed on them. However one of the conditions is to name for one year all new born boys Alexander. This opened the door for other Greek names, language and culture.

After Alexander’s death the world was left in a state of chaos. The Greek Empire was split. The south, led by Tol’me, always tried to persuade Greek culture on the Jews. The North was led by Salacious who attempted to persuade by force of arms. The North and the South agreed on everything except where to draw the line and that line happened to be Israel.

Greek the choice culture

The Greek culture slowly started to seep into Jewish society. When Jews embrace a society it becomes dangerous. Here the Jews became more Greek then the Greeks, which always happens in our history. The reason is we have to prove ourselves, “super Germans”, “super American”, or “super Russians”, as an example of just a few ways that Jews try to fit in to the society around them.

Mityavnim- Jews that adopted Greek live, other wise known as Hellenism. Hellenism adopted Greek culture as a way of life. These Jew were ready to give up Judaism. Forty percent of Jews, most of the affluent class were affected. Correspondence among these Jews was in Greek. The Mityavnim men even had cosmetic surgery to put back the piece of foreskin because everything in the culture was nude, bathhouses sports. So these Jews were embarrassed. WE WANT TO BE GREEKS!!

Greeks would have won the battle by default but they over stepped themselves. In 190 B.C. the North gained the upper hand. Their tactics were always “by force”. Jews are a stubborn people, the most secular Jew if forced not to follow the Torah will turn around and say “I’m going to show you I can be a Jew”.

The Greeks passed very oppressive laws; they banned Shabbat; a Jewish bride on her wedding night had to live first with a Greek officer; they banned circumcision etc.

The Battle

In 165 B.C. a group stood up to the Greeks. Matistyahu the high priest lived in the town of Molbene began the uprising. The Greeks came to town and placed a pig on the Alter. They asked for a Jewish volunteer to proceed with this humiliating ceremony. One unfortunate Jew volunteered where Matisyahu proceeded to killed him. This dare by a Jew triggered a battle which escalated into a war between the mighty Greek army and the Macabees. An army which never exceeded more than 12,000 men.

Why is lighting the Menorah the symbol of Chanukah? How does it relate to the Jews winning the war?

The minority won over the majority; that’s what we read about the victory. In essence this is what lighting the menorah’s all about. A little light can light up a whole room and more. The few Jews were able to beat the most powerful nation in the world. The Greeks represent darkness while the Jews, the righteous Jews, represent the light. The Hellenist who supported the Greek army soon after the war were executed. One cannot see the light if there is no darkness. A bulb lit in the day is irrelevant. This is the reason we must only light at night. The darker it is the more intense the light. Darkness, many times, is confusion. We have to feel with all our heart the miracle and to show the world through lighting it in public the clear light; the power of G-d

The Macabees fought guerrilla warfare in caves. The tactics was orchestrated brilliantly by the Jews. The Greek army was worn out, deflated. The Jews destroyed three armies. Eliezer, one of Matisyahu’s sons fought a battle using elephants. The Fortress of Antiyachous, the last great battle led by brother Shimon starved the Greeks out. Shimon’s memorable moment was destroying the Greek Idol Zeus into million pieces. The victory was the spirit of the Jewish people

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

this article was constructed from the insights of Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt, Rosh Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim, Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus

Each one of us had a favorite teacher who had a great deal of influence on us. Some actually had more than a few teachers over the years that fall under that “favorite” category. When we look back, with a certain fondness about them, a memorable smile breaks out.
However, one has to ask himself, has this person actually made a difference when a crucial decision came into play? Were they there, in our conscience, when the game was on the line? Was their teaching tested and we were able to take their words of wisdom to the finish line and declare “I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”?

YOSEF THE DREAMER

In this week’s parsha, we find Yosef telling over to his brothers the dreams he had. The Torah’s description of the dreams and the reaction of Yosef’s brothers are quite puzzling.
First and foremost, to say his brothers weren’t exactly thrilled about him and his dreams would be considered a huge understatement. They were contemplating killing him as a result.
But there is a substantial lesson that can be learned from this story that is applicable in our everyday life. Let’s examine the verses more carefully and get a deeper understanding.
The first dream that Yosef had involves sheaves. Yosef tells his brothers that their sheaves gathered around and bowed down to his sheaves.
The second dream was basically the same theme; Yosef revealed to them that the sun and the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.
The brothers were angry and responded to the first dream by saying “Do you want to rule over us?” while there was no response from them after the second one.
The Torah states that the brothers hated him after the first dream was revealed while the scripture says the brothers were jealous after the second one.
Why was the reaction to each dream any different from the other?
What’s the difference between the two dreams?
Referring to the second dream it says “His father took it to heart”.
Why did his father take the second dream more serious?
In the first sequence about sheaves or stalks as its focal point, the scripture is hinting to a materialistic dominance. Its message, for the future, is that the brothers will depend on Yosef for their sustenance.
When someone sees his friend that’s financially more stable then he, he often questions why this is so. “He’s not better than me. We’re the same in many ways. Perhaps that’s just plain old mazal.” However, human nature is for hatred to develop as a result
The brothers knew that dreams for the most part are a reflection of the sub-conscience. They concluded, “This is what he’s thinking of us. He wants to be our boss”.
The brothers, though, took the second dream a bit more serious. The scenario of the sun, moon and the stars is a spiritual concept. Here, they realized that it’s not a reflection of the sub-conscience but a spiritual revelation. Therefore they were jealous of Yosef’s motivational and spiritual abilities. There is a Talmudic concept of SHTIKA KEH HODA’A – silence is a form of admittance.
Yaakov, their father, although he did not admit it, was startled by the second dream. The reason is that only Yaakov knew that in the heavens they referred to him as the sun.

It seams like the Torah is hinting that Yosef possessed certain abilities, which perhaps came through personal teachings from his father, as a gift from the heavens, or a combination of both. Apparently, life is such that the narrative will soon reveal that this gifted person will soon be tested.

In order to fully understand the magnitude of Yosef’s test, we have to examine a very interesting part of our Jewish history.
Yeush was born in the midst of troublesome days in the land of Judea, in the year 3055 (after Creation). He became king at the age of six!! (3061). The Jewish nation was divided into two kingdoms. On the throne, which once belonged to King David and King Solomon, sat a ruthless and cruel queen. Her name was Athalya, the daughter of Queen Jezebel, the Phoenician princess whom the wicked King Ahab of the Northern Jewish Kingdom of the Ten Tribes had married. In an effort to bring the two Jewish kingdoms into friendlier relations, the two royal houses intermarried. The crown prince Joram, the son of King Jehoshaphat of Judea, married Athalyah the daughter of Ahab and Jezebel.
After many heavy, underhanded, dirty and deadly maneuvering, Athalyah took control of the Monarch. One of her decree’s to assure she will rule undisputedly was that she resolved that there should be no heir to the throne of Judea from the House of David. She ordered the death of all the members of the royal house of King David, and established herself as the supreme ruler of the land of Judea. She surrounded herself with friends from Phoenicia and ruled with an iron hand, spreading a reign of terror in the land.
Athalyah felt secure in her position, believing that the royal house of David was extinct. But she was wrong, for G-d had promised that the line of King David would never be broken. Ahaziah’s youngest son, whom Athalyah had believed had been murdered with the other male members of the royal family, had been saved from his bloodthirsty grandmother. He was still a baby, and his name was Yeush. He was saved by Jehosheba, a sister of King Ahaziah and the wife of the High Priest Yehoyada. Astonishingly, the one year old prince was hidden in the Bet Hamikdash, above a room by the “Kodash Hakadoshim” and brought up, secretly, by his pious and G-d fearing uncle and aunt.
For six years Athalyah ruled uncontrolled, dealing harshly with the believers in G-d. During all this time, Yehoyada, the wise and pious High Priest, nursed in his heart the secret hope for the future of his people that was centered around the last member of David’s dynasty. Yehoyada had many friends and followers, who, like himself, had remained faithful to the pure worship of G-d, and who longed for the day when the hateful Athalyah could be overthrown, and the House of David reinstated on the throne of the Holy Land.
When little Yeush was seven years old, Yehoyada decided that the time had come to liberate Judea from the unpopular foreign woman who had desecrated the throne of David.
The coup attempt was successful with no resistance whatsoever. Athalya was executed and Yeush became king. He reigned for forty years, and was one of the outstanding kings of Judea.
However, after Yehoyada died, Yeush fell under the influence of the wrong people and was led astray into a life of ease and luxury. He abandoned the pure worship of One G-d, and began to indulge in the service of the Baal. Yeush fell so low that shockingly he killed the great Prophet Zacharia, who happened to be the son of Yehoyada, the same person who saved his life, the one who had nurtured, taught and cared for him through the years!!
How can you bite the hand that feeds you?
How can Yeush fall so low after the death of his teacher?
We see a similar situation after the death of Shimi ben Gaira the teacher and mentor of the wisest man who ever lived, King Shlomo. Shlomo began to slip and make errors in judgment after his death.
We learn a valuable lesson about communication and teaching. There are basically two ways one can convey the valuable message:
LEHOROT- giving instructions
LILMOD- teaching until one stands on his/her own two feet
It’s not ideal to memorize the manual one has to understand the content.
Yosef was tested with one of the most difficult situations in the history of physical temptations. He was being seduced, unsuccessfully though, with the beautiful wife of his employer on a daily basis.
The boss’s wife, eshet Potifar, would up the ante at every occasion until it reached a boiling point where she forcefully tried to have relations with him. Yosef at the moment of truth envisioned his father, his teacher. This motivated, or I should say distracted, him from pursuing sinning with a married woman.

Yaakov successfully taught Yosef the valuable lesson of standing on his own feet. It’s not enough to be gifted. One has to use these skills properly. This is the spiritual greatness of Yosef.
There was a huge epidemic where many Jews were killed at the time of King David because he counted the people. For this reason we have a tradition to never count individual Jews. The Sages teach us that the reason there was death and suffering was because the Temple wasn’t built during David’s time.
Why is it the people’s fault? It was David that had blood on his hands and G-d wouldn’t allow him to build it. Why blame the people?
The Sages say, “Granted. David wasn’t worthy. However the people were. The nation of Israel delayed the building. They should have voiced their opinion ” Why don’t we have a temple?”.and “Let’s start a petition!!” ” They should have began some grass roots. One friend persuading another and perhaps one farmer from the Galil would be responsible in starting the building process.
Rav Henoch always would say “There is permission in one not using his brains”. It’s imperative that a Jew internalizes what he learns and who knows? Perhaps one may discover a way to bring the Mashiach quicker.
There was a college Professor who relayed a story that many years ago there was a psychological case study of inner-city ghetto schools where they would interview 200 students. The motive of the test was to predict, through mathematical analysis, the outcome of these students. As one can expect, many of the student came from broken, one-parent homes.
The result wasn’t very promising that these students would amount to anything.
Twenty years later, this Professor, who happened to be one of those students, was curious to know how these students turned out.
After an extensive research of tracking them down He was astonished to discover how off the mark the study was. 80% of the students were living a productive life.
The professor decided to probe deeper into how these students beat the odds. He interviewed each one and found a common denominator, which was one particular teacher that they all liked.
He was curious to meet this teacher, although twenty years latter he didn’t think she was still alive. Nevertheless after researching further he tracked her down at a particular nursing home. She was in her eighties. The professor went to visit the teacher. He asked her “What was your key to success?” She said “I tried to instill in them a sense of self. I had a motivating slogan “No matter what, you can do it”. These students and Yosef had this in common. They can honestly say that the influence their teachers had on them made a difference, especially when it counted. They can say with full assurance “”I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”

What does dignity have to do with me being a good tipper?

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Yochanan Zweig, Yossi Bilus, Chaim Shmuelevitz z’l, Yitzchak Aminov, Dr. Aba Goldman
Rabbi Yitzhak Aminov is, currently, a prominent Rabbi in a Jewish community in Israel. In the late 1960’s he began to travel to New York to fundraise for his Yeshiva. Considering the time constraints, fundraising requires one to frequently leapfrog from one appointment to another. Occasionally, one gets lucky and receives a ride from the donors themselves, yet at times one would need to travel by taxi to their next appointment.
 Rabbi Aminov,  a reserved and well mannered man was puzzled when he was frequently received with anger at the end of the rides by the cab driver. ” I don’t understand it; I would pay the required amount; I would always remain quiet and not ask the driver any questions of why he took this route as opposed to another. Perhaps I didn’t take the money fast enough out of my wallet? Can it be that  New Yorkers flare up quicker then others over trivial things?
One day, it all made sense to me, I was sitting at the counter space at Diamond Dairy, a restaurant in the  diamond district, when I noticed a friend, who was sitting by my side,  leaving some money on the table where then the waitress quickly shuffled it in her patch by her waist side. I asked him why  are you paying the  waitress as well as the cashier? He answered back “that’s a tip”.
 Now I realized why the taxi drivers were so upset, I left them with no tip”

When wealthy Americans brought home the practice of tipping from their European vacations in the late 19th century, their countrymen considered it bribery. State legislatures quickly banned the practice. But restaurateurs, giddy at the prospect of passing labor costs directly to customers, eventually convinced Americans to accept tipping. However, the concept of tipping was not accustomed in the Israeli society, apparently, till much later.
  It’s funny but some societies tip before they get their food or for that matter before their even seated. Unfortunately, that is the only way they would receive any   service. However that practice is more considered a bribe then a tip.

“…you shall not send him empty-handed; you shall adorn him with gifts…”(15:13,14)After six years of slavery, the Torah requires that the Jewish slave be set free. Additionally, he should not go out empty-handed. Rather, his master should furnish him with gifts of significant value. What is the rationale behind obligating a person to give a gift? Clearly, this is not his compensation, for the Torah requires that the slave be paid in full up front.

Why is it the accepted practice to tip for certain services, while for others it is not? For example, if a person checks in his luggage curbside, he leaves a tip with the porter. However, if he checks his luggage in at the counter, he does not tip the attendant. Similarly, one tips a barber, but not a cashier. The reason is as follows: When someone does a personal service for us, to a certain extent, he has been demeaned. It is for personal service, therefore, that we tip. The tip is the means by which we restore dignity to the person serving us; it shows our appreciation for what he has done for us.  After all, the porter humiliated himself by picking up our heavy suitcases and shlepping them all over the place. The waiter removed our dirty plates after we ate so nicely.

Why is dignity so important?

 We learn how important dignity is from G-d’s  sensitivity to one of the most wicked individuals that ever lived, Bilam.
Balak, the king of Moav, sends a delegation to persuade Bilam to go and curse the Jews. Excited at the opportunity, Bilam, however, consults with G-d, Who tells him not to go. Bilam, though, makes it seem to the delegation that he wasn’t going because it’s beneath his dignity to go with such representation. He wants a  more important and prominent delegation to pry him out of his comfortable settings. Bilam didn’t let anyone know that G-d disapproves of cursing the Jews. Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz says: “A carefull reading of the verse shows G-d gave two reasons disassociating himself with Balak’s emissaries .The first, astonishingly, was indeed to protect Bilam’s dignity, while only the second was… not to curse the Jews.
But who is Bilam that G-d has to protect his dignity ? Why protect the dignity of a low-life ? Reb Chaim points out that even the most low and despicable individual is not to be humiliated more than is absolutely nessesary. The stature and importance of Man -created in G-d’s image-is so great that sensitivity has to be applied even to the wicked Bilam . G-d set aside his own honor in order to preserve the dignity of Bilam. The Sages say that Bilam’s donkey was killed so that people shouldn’t say this is the animal that humiliated Bilam. “I CAN’T MOVE BECAUSE THE ANGEL IS IN FRONT OF ME, HELLO !!! EVEN THIS ANIMAL CAN SEE, GET WITH THE PROGRAM, BOSS” the donkey opened his mouth and spoke out to Bilam. What a miracle…A talking donkey!!! Doesn’t it remind you of the talking horse, Mr. Ed? WILBUR !! Hey, talking animals are hard to find. Even if the animal would have remained alive it would have brought a tremendous  sanctification of G-d’s name. People would have pointed to the donkey and proclaimed “G-d wonders and justice”. It would have been living testimony of G-d’s creation and control of the world. However the dignity of man would have suffered severely and therefore the animal had to be put to death. The same principle applies for any person killed for having relations with animals. The Torah says the animal should be put to death as well. What did the poor animal do besides being an uncooperative participant?  People would point out ” this animal and so and so…..”

We had discussed many times the importance of offering guests chibud kal-light refreshment.  There is a fascinating Rashi in parshat “Va’Yechi” which discusses the importance of greeting a guest with a smile. Seeing the white teeth from a smile is better than offering a tall glass of milk, which is also white. The tip will not be appreciated if it’s given grudgingly and with a frown. Here we see even if no money and refreshment were  presented, just a smile… the soul of the guest is satisfied and dignity is restored..
 I recently asked a neighbor how his son, who became a junior counselor for the first time this past summer faired with tips. Counselors similar to waiters, for the most part, only get compensated for their work through tips. The father took the concept of dignity even to a higher sensitive level. He said, with a disappointed voice, “my son received the full amount of money that was projected, however, no note was put into the envelope stating thank you. It seemed like they just put the money in the envelope because they were obligated”.
  Dr. Goldman brings up a very crucial observation. The most abused people, in terms of dignity, are children. Parents often humiliate kids in front of other parents or their children’s friends.  One should know the humiliation has an everlasting affect on the child. If a parent thinks that a child is just a child and doesn’t have the capability to get truly offended…think again! A parent cannot even receive forgiveness from the child for reason that he is not of age, doesn’t have the power, according to Jewish law to forgive.  The good Doctor gives a common example. After services in Beit Haknesset (shul) on Shabbat, we often speak to our friends, sometimes at length, where our child is pulling us out of boredom. We, then react in a negative way towards the child. If we were with an adult guest, instead of the child, would we still have a lengthy conversation with our friend?  Here too… the child’s dignity has been marked.
 We even offer dignity to the sotah, the unfaithful wife, who would deserve death, had there been witnesses to her sin. Yet, when there are no witnesses, every attempt is made to have her confess and be saved. She is harassed continuously and moved from place to place in the Temple courtyard, all for the purpose of causing her to confess and be saved from a horrible death.

 One of the major aspects of interpersonal communication according to the Torah is to make people feel good. Whether it be by tipping or just a smile and a good morning, the action restores dignity which is sorely needed by each individual.
 The Torah requires that we give parting gifts to the Jewish slave, since, for six years he has been at our beck and call, giving us the highest level of personal service that one Jew can give another. We are obligated, therefore, to restore his dignity… We hope that dignity is restored within him and the family structure will return when he’s back to the level of equality status

What method is best in dealing with the goyim?

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilus, Samson Rafael Hirsch z’l,  Berril Wein, Gedalia Shorr z’l, Noach Isaac Oelbaum and Dr. Abba Goldman

An Israeli Iron Dome operator is claiming that he witnessed ‘the hand of G-d’ diverting an incoming Hamas rocket into the sea.

The commander claims that the Divine intervention stopped the death of hundreds of Israeli citizens.

 

Israel’s Iron Dome system allows it to shoot down incoming rockets or mortars headed toward major population centers in Israel.

“Israel Today”-translated a report from a Hebrew-language news site, which carried the man’s report after about an incoming rocket headed toward Tel Aviv.

The commander recalled: ‘A missile was fired from Gaza. Iron Dome precisely calculated [its trajectory].

 

‘We fired the first [interceptor]. It missed. Second [interceptor]. It missed. This is very rare. I was in shock.

The defense system has been highly effective in the current round of violence between Israel and Hamas militants in the Gaza Strip – Israeli officials say it has a success rate as high as 90 percent.

 

The commander explains that with ‘just four seconds’ until the missile landed the military warned emergency services to be on standby.

‘Suddenly, Iron Dome (which calculates wind speeds, among other things) shows a major wind coming from the east, a strong wind that … sends the missile into the sea. We were all stunned. I stood up and shouted, ‘There is a G-d!,’ he said.

‘I witnessed this miracle with my own eyes. It was not told or reported to me. I saw the hand of G-d send that missile into the sea.’

Iron Dome uses radar, advanced tracking technology and anti-missile batteries to follow the trajectory of an incoming rocket or mortar and determine if it is headed for a major population center.

 

If an urban area is threatened, interceptors are fired to detonate in the air in close proximity to the missile.

 

Projectiles not posing a threat are allowed to fall in empty fields.

The system targets short-range rockets with a range between two miles and 45 miles; interceptors cost as much $100,000 a piece.

Created by Israel’s Rafael Advanced Defense Systems, Iron Dome has enjoyed strong U.S. technological and financial support.

President Barack Obama signed a bill granting an additional $225 million in U.S. taxpayer dollars for Israel’s Iron Dome missile defense system.

The U.S. has provided hundreds of millions of dollars for Iron Dome in the past.

The new package is intended to replenish Israel’s capabilities.

Congress approved the money before lawmakers left for their annual summer break. Obama signed the bill in the late afternoon in the Oval Office with a handful of photographers present.

 

Throughout history we Jews had to endure, on occasion, a great deal of persecution from the nations of the world. At times the goyim are peaceful, however, at times, with no apparent reason, they can show their vicious hatred, unexpectedly.

In this week’s parsha we discover methods in how our forefather, Yaakov, dealt with such adversity.

 

The Odd Couple – Oscar and Felix, Abbot and Costello, and Laurel and Hardy, had contrasting personalities which resulted in tremendous amount of unproductive mishap. Apparently, contrary to those guys, it was designed in the heavens that our forefather – Yitzchak’s sons, Yaakov and his brother – Eisav, two opposites, with their individual tremendous talents, were destined to enhance the spiritual level of the world to such an extent that the Mashiach was to arrive in their time. Eisav was supposed to be the fourth father to complement the four mothers. He was an “Ish Tzayid” – a hunter, meaning his method was to attract the average Joe with his charisma and trap him, to bait and entice him to pursuit G-d. Yaakov’s task, on the other hand, was to elevate the high level of goodness, the tzadikim of the generation, even higher.

 

Eisav failed to accomplish his task leaving Yaakov the one to perform his job of pursuit of excellence as well as Eisav’s job of accomplishing by deception.

 

The Zohar comments on the verse “And afterwards his brother came out and his hand was holding on to the heel of Eisav; and his name was called Yaakov” [Bereshis 25:26]. The Zohar states that Eisav is compared to the Original Snake (nachash kadmoni). The force in this world that represents the Original Snake that tricked Adam and Chava into eating from the Tree of Knowledge, the personification of that Snake in this world, is Eisav.

How does the Torah tell us to deal with that Original Snake? “And you will strike him in the heel” [3:15]. Against the powers of that Snake, you will not be able to make a frontal attack. To be successful against him, you must grab him by the heel, from behind. This is the only way to deal with the Snake and with Eisav.

 

The Zohar says that when the verse, which we read in last week’s parsha, tells us here that Yaakov’s hand was holding Eisav’s heel, the Torah is setting the stage and is telling us how Yaakov — in the future — will have to deal with Eisav. He is going to have to deal with him by attacking at the heel; he is going to have to deal with him, sometimes, deceitfully and secretly. That is the only way one can deal with that Snake.

 

This is what our Sages mean when they say (on the verse [Samuel II 22:27] “With a pure one, You show Yourself pure; but with a perverse one, You deal crookedly.”) that you cannot always be upfront and straightforward with a person who is a liar. Even Yaakov, the man of Truth, has a mandate from the Torah, that the way to deal with Eisav is by ‘heel,’ which is connoted in Yaakov’s name.

 

But, points out Rav Elie Munk, Yaakov undergoes two name changes in the Torah. First, Yaakov is changed to Yisrael. Rash”i, over there, says that ‘Yaakov’ refers to a person who waits in ambush, but there will come a time when you will be called ‘Yisrael’ — connoting an officer and a prince. You will then be able to deal with Eisav, no longer deceitfully, but as an equal.

 

However, we find, that even after Yaakov was called Yisrael, the Torah still, sometimes refers to him as ‘Yaakov’ and sometimes refers to him as ‘Yisrael.’ Why? Because Yaakov can not yet totally abandon the practices of ‘Yaakov’. Throughout Jewish history, there were times when we as a people had to fall back on the tactics of ‘Yaakov’ and could not go with the name ‘Yisrael.’ When we are surrounded by 140 million people wishing to destroy us, we cannot always go with the ‘high-road’ behavior. We have to come back to the practices of ‘Yaakov.’

 

In the End of Days, however, our Sages tell us that Yaakov will go from the name of Yaakov and Yisrael to the name of Yeshurun, meaning straight (from the word ‘yashar’). When the nations of the world will finally come to recognize the greatness of Israel, then Yaakov can be transformed into the name of Yeshurun and will no longer have to deal with Eisav with deceit and tricks.

 

This is what Yeshaya HaNavi means [Isaiah 40:4] when he says “… and the crooked will be made straight…” [v’haya ha’akov l’mishor]. Rav Munk says this refers to the name Yaakov becoming the name Yeshurun. We will abandon the practices which were forced upon us, those of ‘Yaakov’ and will strictly conduct ourselves according to the practices of ‘Yeshurun’ (straightness).

 

In this week’s parsha we find the guidelines of how to deal with the enemy when they are knocking on your door potentially in a hostile manner.

After escaping from the wicked Lavan, Yaakov and his family face another challenge.

To get home, they must first pass through the land of Eisav, Yaakov’s violent brother. As Yaakov well knows, Eisav has been plotting to kill him for many years.

So Yaakov prepares a brilliant three-part plan that teaches us how to deal with bullies like Eisav.

 

First, Yaakov prays to G-d to protect him and his family.

Second, Yaakov sends messengers to Eisav with pleasant words and valuable gifts, to let Eisav know that he wants peace.

Third, in case all else fails, Yaakov prepares to fight his brother if he has to.

 

DIPLOMACY OR IMMEDIATE TOUGH ACTIONS

When the Romans colonized the land of Israel over 2000 years ago, there was a heated debate what method to use in dealing with the occupiers. Caligula, the Emperor of Rome at the time, in an act of egotistical lunacy, placed statues of himself throughout Jerusalem. Shamai’s followers, one of two philosophies being observed by the Jews, at the time, defamed the statues at every opportunity causing an uproar among the Roman authorities.

Hillel, the other philosophy being observed, believed that Jews should not make such a raucous of all these offensive situations and play a more diplomacy game. Hillel’s approach was predominantly practiced, for the most part, throughout Jewish history. However though, we have seen, in our time especially, a approach similar to Shamai.

Interestingly, I came across a fellow brother who works for AIPAC which practices the Hillel approach perfectly and effectively.

 

American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) ) is a lobbying group that advocates pro-Israel policies to the Congress and Executive Branch of the United States. Describing itself as “America’s Pro-Israel Lobby”, AIPAC has more than 100,000 members, seventeen regional offices, and “a vast pool of donors.” It has been called “the most important organization affecting America’s relationship with Israel,” and

one of the most powerful lobbying groups in the United States. The group does not raise funds for political candidates itself, but helps organize to channel money to candidates, AIPAC describes itself as a bipartisan organization, and bills it lobbies for in Congress are always jointly sponsored by both a Democrat and Republican.

AIPAC’s stated purpose is to lobby the Congress of the United States on issues and legislation related to Israel. AIPAC regularly meets with members of Congress and holds events where it can share its view.

Most members of congress are not very proficient in foreign affairs. They basically cater to the needs of their district which consists of local matters. AIPAC educates these congressmen providing the real truth about Israel.

 

AIPAC influences lawmakers:

* matching an AIPAC member with shared interests to a congressperson/senator to serve as a contact to them;

* “carefully curated”, “lavish” trips to Israel for legislators and other opinion-makers, all expenses paid for by AIPAC’s charitable arm. In 2005 alone, more than 100 members of Congress visited Israel, some multiple times.

* cultivating potential politicians such as student council presidents. At colleges it provides “political leadership training” to undergraduate student groups. This is an effort to “build a stronger pro-Israel movement among students on and off campuses nationwide”.

* sympathy for Israel among the general public.

 

AIPAC executive director – Howard Kohr appeared before the House Committee on Appropriations’ Foreign Operations subcommittee and requested that Israel receive $2.775 billion in military aid in fiscal year 2010, as called for in the 2007 Memorandum of Understanding between the US and Israel that allocates $30 billion in aid for the Jewish state over 10 years.

 

During the Gaza conflict, AIPAC has made a priority of sending a message of bipartisan congressional support for all of Israel’s actions. Pro-Israel resolutions passed by unanimous consent carry weight, but not nearly so much as military funding. During the fighting, Israel has relied on the Iron Dome system, a U.S.-funded missile defense that has largely neutralized Hamas’s rockets. Although the U.S. was scheduled to deliver $351 million for the system starting in October, AIPAC wanted more money right away. On July 22nd, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel had sent a letter to Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader, seeking an immediate payment of $225 million. The project Iron Dome is to be continued uninterrupted!!

 

AIPAC is influential; AIPAC has helped their brothers in Israel; AIPAC is greatly responsible for the Iron Dome project; AIPAC has done it all by diplomacy…….THE HILLEL WAY!! This is diplomacy at its best; the Jewish way at its finest.

However, diplomacy, at times, has not always been the Jewish way. We see, further, in this week’,s parsha, Yaakov’s daughter, Dina, is raped by Shechem, leader of the town. The town’s people cover up the crime and protect it’s leader.

After Shechem reaches out to Yaakov’s children to make peace, and propose intermarriage between each other, Levi and Shimon respond by telling them the bond between us can only be united only if the men in the town will be circumcised. On the third day, though, after all the men in the town were circumcised, Shimon and Levi destroyed and massacred the men in the town.

 

Although it seems like through the scripture in the Chumash that the Torah defends and justifies their killing of the town, Yaakov , however did not approve.

On Yaakov’s deathbed, later on – in Parshat Vayechi – “At this critical juncture, when Yehudah is assigned the crown of royalty, Yisachar – the role of scholar, Zevulun – the role of philanthropist and so on, what does Yaakov say to Shimon and Levi? He reminds them of the outburst of bloody rage in which they destroyed the city of Shechem. “Their weaponry is a stolen craft,” he declares, behavior unfit for the exalted family of Yaakov, a page stolen from the book of Eisav.”

 

When the Jews were under the British rule in the 40’s, the Brits favored the Arabs because of their oil. The Jews would constantly be harassed by both the British soldiers and the Arabs.. They had no choice and developed an underground that terrorized their enemy.

 

Diplomacy is the Jewish way. As a matter of fact, we see from this week’s parsha that Yaakov’s concern of the wholeness and wellbeing of his family while Eisav is establishing himself as a leader and a warlord. This is the way it’s been defined for thousands of years. We’ve always been behind the scenes, whether writing the president’s speech, making the calculating decisions as opposed to being the president himself. Although, being in the front line is the glorious and glamorous choice, it might not be the optimal Jewish choice.

 

Burning love aimed at you

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilus, Baruch Dopelt, Akiva Grunblatt
It disturbs and burns  me up when our fellow brethren are killed or maimed as a result of terrorism. Our heart bleeds seeing the widows of men who attended synagogue that awful day, seeing the mothers of the three boys kidnapped and murdered or any victims and their families of these barbaric acts. Having bad fortune can be a scary thing. My cousins in Israel are mortified in the thought of getting a knock on the door from the Israeli army informing them of tragedy of their sons status in the army. Unfortunately, my grandparents had such a knock sixty years ago, in Israel, informing them of the death of my uncle; it changed their lives forever. Adversity, in general, is something  that can rattle our lives if one lets it.
 One wonders how can this happen to us, we are G-d’s chosen people?  Doesn’t G-d love us?
There are people who preach “G-d loves his Jewish people”. They walk around constantly reaffirming “G-d loves me, G-d loves me”. It seems to me their reaction is slightly corny. I’m sorry to offend some people, however I was always one to passionately voice an opinion. There is a different way of looking at it. We are players in this world  and G-d dealt us our own tailor made deck and we have to know how to play the game; we have to do the commandments as best as possible….period. G-d loves everybody, but that’s irrelevant. Perhaps people need that extra boost of knowing G-d loves them. Hey, whatever motivates!
 However, after being made aware of a verse by Rabbi Yissachar Frand in this week’s parsha and numerous places in our holy Torah I’m retracting my approach that the existence of chocolate and coffee isn’t the predominant proof that G-d loves us.
Now lets ask the reader:
Who is the biggest nation in the world today? It’s the Chinese. There are more Chinese in the world than any other people. The second largest nationality is the Indians.
 It seems like it’s a pretty sure bet that it’s not the Jews. As of matter of fact, in the course of history, it never was. Apparently, this is in contrast to many verses that in our Torah. When G-d told Avraham “I will make you into a great nation” [Bereshis 12:2] Avraham asked Him (according to the Medrash) “but You already have 70 nations who are descended from Noach, what will be so special about another nation?” The Almighty answered Avraham — “The nation that will descend from you is the nation about whom it will be said “For which is such a great nation?” (ki mi goy gadol) [Devorim 4:7] – that is the nation that will emerge from you.”
What is the meaning of “goy gadol” (literally, big nation)? There are approximately 12 million Jews in the world. Never have we ever been the “goy gadol”. So what is the interpretation of the aforementioned Medrash? What is the nature of this peculiar dialog between Avraham and the Almighty? We are no ware near the Chinese nor are we #2, the Indians.
  Similarly, at the beginning of our Parsha, G-d blesses Yaakov with the words “I am G-d, G-d of Avraham your father and G-d of Yitzchak; the ground upon which you are lying, to you will I give it and to your descendants. Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth, and you shall spread out powerfully westward, eastward, northward, and southward…” [Bereshis 28:13-14].
The simple understanding of the blessing “Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth” is that Yaakov’s descendants should be so plentiful that their numbers will be comparable to the dust of the earth.
       There are a number of other such similar  phrases  “Like the stars in Heaven” [Bereshis 22:17] and  that we should be “like the sand of the sea” (k’chol haYam) [Breishis 32:13]. All this connotes plentiful. It gives the notion of positive aura from G-d.
It seems like there is a deeper meaning to the references of G-d making us plentiful.
 There is a famouse Rashi in the begining of the book of Shemot referring to the consensus that was taken of children of  Yisrael. There have been many counts and Rashi gives a parable. Just like one who counts something precious over and over again, so too G-d counts his Jewish people over and over again. To further develop this idea, the verse in Bamidbar 1:2 says that G-d commanded Moshe to count the Jews according to the “number of names.” The Sforno says that this count was unlike any other national census. It’s true that the count kept track of how many Jews there were. However, as each Jew was counted, his name was given special consideration by G-d as well. The Sforno says that a person’s name reveals something deep about his essence. The fact that the counting involved considering each individual as a personality as well as a number shows us that G-d doesn’t only take great pleasure in counting us as a member of the Jewish people; He also loves just to see us and appreciate each of us as we are. Our personal strengths and even our struggles are very valuable to G-d and the count teaches us this concept.
The Torah uses interesting terminology when referring to the census. When Hashem commands Moshe to take the tally of the people He says “שאו את ראש בני ישראל” which literally means “raise the heads of the Bnei Yisrael.” However, the Midrash in Bamidbar Rabba 1:11 says that it can also mean “take off the heads of the Bnei Yisrael.” The Midrash explains that Hashem was hinting that if the Jews are worthy their heads will “be raised,” meaning that they will become successful and great. However, if the Jewish people do not merit, they will perish instead. A question to ponder on this Midrash is why did G-d choose to hint to this idea here? What does the census have to do with personal accountability?
The Sfat Emet, in the name of the Chiddushei HaRim, says that every person has a job in this world that only he can do. No one can do that job for him and he can’t do anyone else’s job. Every challenge and opportunity that one has in life is uniquely suited for him according to his strengths and weaknesses. The service G-d requires of each person is unique, and if a Jew fails to complete his mission in life he has deprived the entire world of all the things he had to offer. G-d specifically hints to this when commanding Moshe  to take the census. Every Jew should know that he matters a lot and his actions have a profound impact on the world. Therefore, the responsibility that being a Jew entails is enormous and ignoring one’s obligation deserves severe punishment.
 Furthermore being the descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov means we inherited their genes. The mold of leadership, ambassadors of the Almighty, their ability to overcome adversity and introduce G-d’s qualities to the world.
 Now, perhaps, we can understand what Gadol means. It’s a special connotation to the word “gadol”. “Gadol” does not mean “big” as in “numerically large”. Rav Dessler points out that the interpretation of “gadol” is revealed to us by its first appearance in the Torah [Bereshis 1:16] “et haMaor haGadol” (the great light, referring to the sun). “Gadol” means the ability to give to others. The sun is not called “gadol” because it is so big. The sun is called “gadol” because it provides light and heat for the entire universe.
Likewise, when Moshe  tells G-d “You have begun to show “Gadlecha” to your servant” [Devorim 3:24] what does “Gadlecha” mean? Rashi explains in Parshas V’Etchanan “this refers to the Attribute of your Goodness” (zu midat Tuvecha). The Almighty is the ultimate Giver. We give our uniqueness to the world.
Similarly, when we praise G-d in Shmoneh Esrei in the expression “haKel haGadol” the word Gadol does not mean “big”, it means He is the Master of Kindness and Goodness”. Another similarity is the meaning of “and Moshe became a Gadol and went out to see his brethren’s suffering” [Shmos 2:11]. Since Moshe was a “gadol” he wanted to become aware first hand of how his brethren were suffering and see how he might be able to help them.
The technical definition of “gadol” is “the capacity to do for others, to help others, to be concerned about others”.  When we talk about an “Adam Gadol” (a person who is a gadol), we are not speaking merely about erudition. It is not merely defining someone who knows the entire Torah. Every Gadol who we can think of was a person that was always concerned about the community. That is the definition of a Gadol.
Now we understand the dialogue between Avraham and G-d. There are plenty of nations in the world. There are 2 billion Chinese and a billion Indians. However, G-d promised Avraham that he would make him into a nation that is “gadol”, meaning a nation of people that care about others and have the capacity to give.
THE STARS
Rav Mordechai Kamenetsky gives an interesting interpretation of “Like the stars in Heaven”. The Almighty was not interested in having Avraham count the stars. He was showing him something symbolic. He wanted him to just look up at the heavens. Looking up at the heavens is looking at one of the great mysteries of the world. To this very day the stars, the heavens, the galaxies, the Milky Way fascinate man. They are one great mystery. The greatest scientists of our own generation are still baffled about what goes on in the deep recesses of outer space. Scientists will be studying the stars from now until the end of time.
The Almighty takes Avraham outside his tent and tells him “You don’t understand, Avraham, how your legacy will be preserved. After all, you have no children yet and you are an old man. I say that you will become a great nation, but you don’t understand. Go outside and try to understand the stars. If stars are one of the mysteries of this world that defy explanation — so too will your descendants defy explanation. Jews also are one of the great mysteries of the world.
Logically speaking, we should have been wiped off the face of the earth centuries ago. We are still around! This is a great mystery! Just like the stars and the heavens and the galaxies are a great mystery “so too shall be your descendants”.
DUST OF THE EARTH
The Medrash explains the very powerful significance of the choice of words “dust of the earth”. The blessing of “k’afar ha’Aretz” represents the history of the Jews. Everybody tramples over the dust of the earth, but in the end the dust of the earth always remains on top. That same dust ultimately covers those who trample it.
“From dust you are taken and to dust you will return” [Bereshis 3:19]. In the final analysis, the dust of the earth is always on top. This is the analogy and the blessing of “Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth.” Yaakov is told that his children will be trampled upon and spat upon, like the dust. But in the end, like the dust, they will remain on top.
G-d loves us and it shows from all the warm references throughout the Torah. However, we live by a higher standard then the other nations due to being the ambassadors of His Majesty. Therefore, our actions are scrutinized immeasurably by G-d as well as by other nations. We set the standards of humanity!
 Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt conveys to us an astonishing insight into Achashverosh searching for the next queen. Apparently, it wasn’t just Ester who was hiding from being selected for this contest. Most if not all of the nations of the world’ maidens were appalled by being selected. Apparently, once you are selected as a contestant, and they were tens of thousands, one is forbidden to be with another man for the rest of their lives.
This was a travesty, an enormous disaster decreed by a lunatic dictator…….and so it happened.
 Why!! It’s a major catastrophe of the time!!
 G-d runs the world and the Sages say the reason G-d allowed Achoshverosh to go forth with his plan is because when the Jews were expelled from Babylonia after the destruction of the first Temple, the nations of the world were making fun of the Jewish girls that they were tanned and ugly (today tan is preferred).. Here were the Jews devastated, destroyed and demoralized losing there spiritual essence, their temple and add insult to injury the non-Jews were ridiculing  them. Although the Jewish nation deserved being expelled nevertheless G-d protects the image of his chosen people.  As a result, many years later it was payback.
 There are many bumps in the road which delays our mission in this world or perhaps that is the mission and that is dealing with those bumps. But what we learn through the many references about G-d’ affection towards us, in the Torah, is that we are special! G-d has an insatiable love for us and He is there to help us with our mission. We have a special and responsible  mission, one that only we can uniquely accomplish!

Passion

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yissachar Frand, Lenny Bromberg, Yossi Bilus, Aaron Tendler, David Hochberg, Pinchas Avruch  and
Dr. Abba Goldman, also Mr. Emanuel Aminov
 Har Nof
Passion can be construed in many ways. We saw this past week the ugly side of passion, a passion based on hate, where the evil Arabs MACHSHEMAM butchered our brethren in a Bet Haknesset in Har Nof, Israel. However, it can be very complex, as we will see from  recent current events.
A doctor,  Craig Spencer, in New York City who recently returned from treating Ebola patients in Guinea became the first person in the city to test positive for the virus.
 Dr. Spencer recalled that in his five weeks in West Africa, “I cried as I held children who were not strong enough to survive,” but that he also had celebrated with those who were cured and “invited me into their family as a brother.”
Spencer posted a photo of himself on Facebook wearing protective gear and wrote, “Off to Guinea with Doctors. Please support organizations that are sending support or personnel to West Africa, and help combat one of the worst public health and humanitarian disasters in recent history.”
New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center said in a statement that Spencer “went to an area of medical crisis to help a desperately underserved population. He is a committed and responsible physician who always put his patients first.”
Seventy percent of Ebola cases in West Africa are fatal, but eight of the nine people treated in the United States have recovered. Dr. Bassett said a key reason was the labor-intensive job of managing body fluids and replenishing lost blood, allowing the body’s own defenses to kill the virus.
 However, what tends to happen at times, when one does a passionate good deed, we learn in King Solomon’s  Mishlei; Passion can blind you; it blinds the smartest people. Once you think you’ve scored brownie points, one thinks he has a licence to do whatever he wants.
 Spencer didn’t follow protocol. He lied to the police and told them he didn’t go anywhere when he arrived back. He actually went to few parties. He did not care that he might be carrying the infectious disease.
Passion – strong and barely controllable intense  emotion, compelling enthusiasm or desire for anything.  It’s a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing.
Dr. Craig Spencer had a passion!!  He left his job  as a doctor at New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center, a prestigious job in the medical field, to travel to West Africa and risk his life to treat a deadly virus.
Passion, sometimes even momentary, can change ones life, sometimes in a drastic way. Doctor Goldman, Psychologist at Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim said that President Bill Clinton’s affair with his aid Monica Lewinsky not only had a very negative effect on his legacy, but a rippling damaging reaction on a country. Reports indicate that his cabinet and staff lost faith in his ability to command. As result, they became lethargic in their duties. They felt betrayed defending their leader who then without informing them confessed to the country of his misdeeds. This is all in result of moments of perhaps passion, or perhaps just flimsy moment of desires.
Passion can change a life time of achievements.   Our forefather Yaacov had an evil brother, Eisav, however he had one virtue, one good deed, that he passionately performed most of his life. In fact many Torah Scholars marveled  at his performance  and encourage us to emulate this one mitzvah, which he did. He honored his father to the highest level.  The Torah tells us that Yitzchak loved Eisav. And Eisav loved him back. He respected his father and served him faithfully. The Sages even deem  his act of “honoring parents” greater than that of his brother Yaakov’s. And so Yitzchak requested Eisav to “go out to the field and hunt game for me, then make me delicacies such as I love, and I will eat, so that my soul may bless you before I die” (Genesis 27:3-4). Yitzchak wanted to confer the blessings to him. Eisav won his father’s regard. And even when Esav found out that his brother, Yaakov beat him to the blessings, he did not yell at his father,  “How did you let him do that?!” All he did was “cry out an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said to his father, “Bless me too, Father!” (ibid v.34). Yitzchak finds some remaining blessing to bestow upon his older son, but the grudge does not evaporate. What troubling  is not the anger of defeat or the desire for revenge, rather the way Eisav expressed it. “Now Esau harbored hatred toward Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him; and Esau thought, “May the days of mourning for my father draw near, then I will kill my brother Jacob.” “May the days of mourning for my father draw near” Think about it. How did the love for a father turn into the eager anticipation of his death?

Passions overrule sanity. They even overtake years of love and commitment. When one is enraged, he can turn against his best friend, his closest ally, and even his own parents! Eisav, who spent his first 63 years in undying adulation of his father, changed his focus in a burst of emotion. Now, instead of worrying about his father’s fare, he awaited the day of his farewell. All in anticipation of the revenge he would take on Yaakov.
When passions perverse our priorities, and obsessions skew our vision, friends become foes and alliance becomes defiance. In the quest for paranoiac revenge, everyone is an enemy even your own parents. But mostly your own self.

  Furthermore, Eisav married his uncle Yishmael’s daughter, an act that his parents favored, however, he did not divorce his two wives which his parents greatly disapproved.  Seemingly, his passion for those women were still burning.
  One of the most famous and endearing story line in our Torah is the one when Avraham is commanded to sacrifice his son. At the end, though, G-d withdrew his command to slaughter his son. Sforno  explains “instead of his son: in exchange for that which was in his heart to offer his son, a ram was then brought. Avraham had  to maintain the faithfulness to that which he had previously committed in his heart.” Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler finds this amazing: G-d gave Avraham the command to bring Yitzchak (Isaac) up on the altar as a test, for just as G-d had commanded Avraham to bring him, he was commanded to remove him. There is a strong determination to perform an act of passion and Avraham viewed this act as a spiritual opportunity.  Once one initiates  an act of passion and enthusiasm, it’s very hard to stop.The “commitment” that Avraham made to bring his son as an offering was in error, a colossal misunderstanding. Nevertheless, notes Rabbi Dessler in Sforno’s words, without an alternative vehicle with which to serve G-d, Avraham would have been dishonest to his commitment to serve. Indeed, Rashi explains that the ram was “instead of his son” because Avraham literally requested that G-d view each act – from the slaughter through each subsequent step – as if it was performed in his son’s stead. Rabbi Dessler notes that Avraham was correlating every action to his original intent and commitment. That even though he was absolved by nothing less than a Divine decree, Avraham was concerned with fulfilling his “obligation”.
Why such a burning passion? Because Avraham realized that this was not simply some contractual obligation that was now moot because the contract was revoked. This was the ultimate of Avraham’s Divine trials. But these trials did not test Avraham’s G-d consciousness, they FORGED it. This opportunity was presented to Avraham to allow him to transcend his human condition and offer his entire future to G-d in His service. Avraham very keenly appreciated this unparalleled opportunity and knew he was bound to follow through. And G-d agreed, such that He built this parallel chance into Creation.
 The  Satan, though,  was also rather aware of this unique circumstance, for it was he who entangled  the ram’s horns in the bushes to brake the momentum and defuse the passion of Avraham.
  Passion can be powerful and sometimes has to be curtailed. The book of Devarim, the last of the 5 books of the Torah, is replete with warnings against idolatry, but perhaps the parashah in which the repetitiveness is most obvious is Parashas Va’etchanan. Dozens of pesukim – including nearly one third of the pesukim in the second rendering of the Ten Commandments – contain numerous admonitions not to serve idols.
Nowadays, these warnings seem unnecessary.  Almost no sane humanbeing today has any interest in worshiping a graven image of any sort. In fact, it seems strange to us that anyone ever had such a passion.

Truthfully, our utter disinterest in idol worship is not a credit to our advanced, developed intelligence or our purer faith in G-d. The Anshei Knesses HaGedolah, a group of 120 sages, some of the greatest Torah scholars ever, convened during the era of the second Temple and determined that the inclination to serve idols was too strong for mankind to withstand. The Talmud (Yoma 69b) relates how the Anshei Knesses HaGedolah captured the yetzer hara-evil inclination for idolatry and destroyed it.
We can still have an idea of how strong the inclination for idolatry was before they conquered it. The Talmud tells us that the Anshei Knesses HaGedolah was encouraged by their success in conquering one of the two major passions of mankind, so they decided to turn their sights on the other major passion: the inclination for promiscuity.
When the sages succeeded in capturing the passion for promiscuity, however, they came to the realization that if they destroyed this passion people would no longer procreate, so they released it.
We are all aware of how difficult it is to control the inclination for licentiousness. Our Sages teach us that people once had an equal passion to serve idols.
 So, the Chachamim dissolved a major passion but left us with another. G-d created an extremely powerful attraction and passion between the sexes. It exists and cannot be ignored. The Rabbis explain that G-d did this in order to perpetuate the human race. Without desire and attraction, people would not reproduce and the world would remain desolate. Therefore, He created this intense desire between men and women.
 Here is one scenario where people for the most part are vulnerable, the workforce. One is especially vulnerble when there are bumpy roads in the marriage. For the most part one can say, who doesn’t have bumpy moments in their marriage. Mind you can develop in a crowded office environment but once one is alone with the other, that stuation can accelerate the passion.
You may like her. She may like you. Obviously, both of you have lines that you will not cross when it comes to inappropriate behavior. You have self-respect and know that you will keep to those guidelines. You know that you would not be able to look at yourself in the mirror the next day if you crossed your line, whatever your particular line may be. Now, all of a sudden, you find yourself alone with him or her. You glance at each other. The attraction and desire is there. No one is around and no one will know. Everyone has a vulnerable moment. What will you do? Will you cross your line? How far? How will you feel the next day? What will it feel like, knowing that your line, your boundary that you always said you wouldn’t cross, has just been violated?
Some of you may be say, I am stronger than that and will never cross my line, no matter what. That may be true, but lets ask ourselves something: Which requires greater self-control; controlling yourself when you are never alone together or controlling yourself when you are alone in a room with him or her AND the attraction is there? The Torah is providing you with a boundary that does not require superhuman self-control on your part. It is protecting you from moments of vulnerability, when you may do something you may feel badly about later. Don’t be alone together. Let’s be honest here. It is a lot more difficult to control yourself from acting inappropriately when you are alone together than when you aren’t. Don’t put yourself in the position where you have to rely on greater self-control. Don’t play near the edge of a cliff. True, nothing may happen, but why take the risk? Don’t forget, you have to face yourself in the mirror tomorrow. Make it easy on yourself.
 We learn something valuable from Yaacov, our forefather. Yakov’s blessing to Shimon and Levi as he lay on his deathbed was intended as directive, not just critical. Shimon and Levi had displayed enormous devotion and courage in defending the honor of the family, even if it was misguided. They decieved and destroyed the entire city of Shechem avenging the rape of their sister Dina. Yakov’s “blessing” of Shimon and Levi was intended to direct that same devotion and courage into constructive channels. As the Pasuk says, “Into their conspiracy I will not enter, with their congregation I will not join.” (49:6) Because they did not first seek Yakov’s advice and direction, he would not have anything to do with their actions. However, if Yakov’s teachings and truth would direct their passion and strength, they would be indispensable to the nation’s survival.
 Passion, at times, can be channeled in the right way. One has to realize the power of it. In a moment, one can act on it and regret a life time. Passion, if used right, can elevate one to a lofty level. The key is to be aware of our feeling  as well as anticipate what we will be feeling when we will be faced with life challenges!

Important tips before marriage

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s ,Baruch Doppelt, Yossi Bilus, Noach Isaac Oelbaum and Dr. Abba Goldman

Who doesn’t like going to a wedding? We all do, but why? For one, we are supporting the union of two people; it’s a start of a new family. That’s exciting!! Secondly, we have a chance, if we come early enough, to enjoy the delicacies at the smorgasbord.  Some of us have it planned, by knowing the caterer before hand, what food station to go to first when arriving at the hall (Meisner’s meatballs, Letterman’s shishkabob). Furthermore, in our hectic habitual lifestyle we have a chance to see our friends and have a good time.

 Let me ask you a personal question, have you ever gotten emotional at the wedding ceremony – the chuppah. When I was younger I would always try to hide my emotions even though, I must say, some chuppahs were touching. However, I could not let my guard down, I felt it would ruin my manly image. As time passed on, the manly image didn’t seem very important anymore. Today, I look at that as sheer nonsense. Seeing the chattan and kallah brings to light a certain thrill of humanity. As time moves forward, it’s inevitable that one has seen  his measure of pain and anguish in the course of his existence and watching a beautiful moment of life brings out an abundance of joy in us through tears.
We recite seven brachot in honor of the chattan and kallah at the chuppah. It seems like our Sages devised these blessings in a way that it is just that, blessings. We have to understand what they mean and be aware of its strong implications. For example, an obvious question is found in bracha 5 and 6:. שַׂמַּח תְּשַׂמַּח רֵעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵֽדֶן מִקֶּֽדֶם: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּֽחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה רִנָּה דִּיצָה וְחֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחֲוָה שָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת, מְהֵרָה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָיִם, קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחֻפָּתָם, וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלּ
6)Grant abundant joy to these loving friends, as You bestowed gladness upon Your created being in the Garden of Eden of old. Blessed are You L-rd, who gladdens the groom and bride
7)Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who created joy and happiness, groom and bride, gladness, jubilation, cheer and delight, love, friendship, harmony and fellowship. L-rd our G-d, let there speedily be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of happiness, the sound of a groom and the sound of a bride, the sound of exultation of grooms from under their chupah, and youths from their joyous banquets. Blessed are You L-rd, who gladdens the groom with the bride.
There is a question – what’s the difference or the meaning behind blessing  #6 which ends with “who gladdens the groom and -(VEH) the bride” as appose to in blessing #7  “gladdens the groom with-(IM) the bride”.  If the Sages make a distinction between the two,  “the VEH” in blessing #6 -and ….”with-IM” in blessing #7. Our Sages are very meticulous and thought conscience in what they write. One could rest and be sure that any scripture that is produced for prayers and blessings is cleverly devised..
 The Sages are teaching us a very important insight in marriage. In order to make your
bride – Kallah happy, one must first be happy himself. Only when he has shalom and tranquility with his state of mind, can he make another content.
It is noteworthy, too, that the Torah sets the standard of loving others using the self as the yardstick. Where do we find, asks the Sefat Emet, that there is a mitzvah to love oneself, that we are then commanded to love others to the same degree? And if indeed loving oneself is not a “mitzvah,” only an instinctive part of human nature, then how can the Torah use self-love as a benchmark by which to measure our love for our fellow man?
Perhaps the Torah is affirming one of the very basic tenets of psychology and human nature: The self-hater is not capable of feeling true love for others. In other words, it is not so much that self-love is a benchmark for loving others; it’s a prerequisite. In this context, when we speak of self-love, what we really mean is having a positive self-image, or what is today known as self-esteem.
So if the prerequisite for a happy marriage is being happy, one of the key elements having a happy marriage is found in this weeks parsha.
Finding a life partner is always a difficult task. I can be a witness to that being a frequent and reluctant participant in the New York Jewish frum singles scene. Often it felt grueling and humiliating attending those events. It was a tremendous pleasure to tell the matchmaker when they called to ask me if I want to date a certain girl, to take me off your list because I’m engaged!!!.  But imagine how much more difficult it must have been for Abraham to find a wife for his son – Isaac in ancient Canaan. The entire world was pagan except for Abraham, his family and a small group of his followers. Where was he to find a girl who would readily abandon her culture and embrace the Jewish way of life?
As we read in this week’s portion, Abraham sends his retainer Eliezer to Syria to seek out a wife among the other branches of his family. Eliezer arrives at his destination bearing gifts for the prospective bride and somewhat daunted by his mission. Standing beside the well in the town square, he prays to G-d that he be allowed to find a proper mate for Isaac.
Eliezer seems prepared for a grueling search, but lo and behold, no sooner does he finish praying that Rebecca instantly appears. She meets all the criteria for character and background.
There are certain parshiot in the Torah that are benchmarks for particular important  topics. Parshat Vayera is for harmony of marriage.  Vayeshev, Miketz and  Vayigash prone to envoke discussions of leadership. When parshat Chayeh Sarah came, many singles would flock to Rav Pam Shabbat afternoons lecture because they knew he, like many Rabbis would, talk about how to find the right  mate.
We know that Yitzchak had the characteristic of gevura-judgement. He had  a tremendous fear of G-d. That was his claim to fame. He was also quite personality, quite the opposite of his charismatic outgoing father. It’s funny how he was named Yitzchak-laughter. This is someone who was apparently “very serious” about life. His character certainly did not agree with his name. However, Rabbi Dopelt says “when one has the proper fear of G-d and is channeled correctly, he is so confident that everything comes from G-d, where any annoyance, bad omen that is presented in the course of ones life and marriage, for sure, is part and parcel of ones experiences, will not bother him. He will be in complete control knowing that it is G-d that is in control. When we say “fear of G-d”, the benchmark  is Yitzchak. For this reason, the Akeda, was Avraham, his father’s test and not his. One who’s characteristic is Gevura-judgment will not flinch at the prospect of sacrificing something so dear for G-d. Avraham’s character, on the other hand, was kindness, the antithesis of the Akeda. The frame of mind that Yitzchak had as a result of having the highest level of fear produced serenity and calmness which automatically spilled over to his marriage. The reason is, again, whatever happens in life is G-d sent.
 Rivka, as we study in the parsha, was crowned “wife of Yitzchak” because of the kindness she did with Eliezer. She passed his test, earned her stripes as kindness worthy to be in the house of Avraham.
Doctor Goldman says, if one has gone through psychological pain and is absorbed in agony, discomfort and depression they, for the most part,  will not be able to be reaching out to others. A giving person on the caliber of  Rivka had to have a makeup of  well put together person.
 There are 2 parts to the famous statement that the great scholar, Hillel, said  ” If I don’t take care of myself – no one will”, the second part “if the focus is myself – then what am I?”. The two statements go hand in hand, one has to be in peace with himself because, then, his task will be to take care of others.
 Rabbi Yossi Bilus attended a while back a lecture by Rav Pam on Chayeh Sarah. He tells over a powerful lesson that made an imprint on his life.
 Many times people date with hopes to find their partner in life. Many times people think they’ve graduated from “hoping to find” to “it’s happening”; “I’ve found my match”. They’re thinking – how many kids they are going to have and where to live. However, a short time later, the other party walks away not interested, leaving the person devastated and doomed. There are those that never get over the hurt.
 Eliezer is sure that he found Yitzchak’s mate to such an extent that the minute he seesRivka, he showers her with jewelry. But then he says something peculiar as later he meets Rivka’s family to discuss terms. In chapter 24 pasuk 49 he says ” And now if you want to do kindness and are interested – tell me if not I will turn to the right or left”. In other words, if you’re interested, great, if not I will look elsewhere. Wait!!! isn’t she the one!!! You put on her all that jewelry!! You anointed her “a wife for Yitzchak”!!   All that kindness, WOW!!! However, we see if it’s not working out, it seems like it’s not what G-d wants and we, no matter how sure we were, no matter how perfect it seemed,  have to move on!!
My mother would always say to me when I was dating, “every pot has a cover”. It was reassuring words. However, in order for that to happen, we have to be in peace with ourselves. We have to have the right frame of mind to make the great big step. We also have to let go of the ghosts in our heads of what it would have been like if the other party would have stayed. That was the past; we must look forward.