Spark of Jewish Experience

Daring us to take the next step-Shema Yisrael

August 6, 2014 admin Uncategorized No comments

Teachings of Rabbi Yissachar Frand, contributing Esther Matmon, Dr. Joseph Blum.

When my father’s last chemotherapy / hormone contraption did not work, I turned to the doctors and asked “What’s next?”. They answered me: ” It’s time to pray; there’s nothing more we can do”. In other words the doctors are saying “we are not in control anymore; now, its up to G-d”. Well, I got news for you, they were never in control. G-d pulls the strings. Although, we have to do our effort, that’s important. However, at the end of the day, all matters are in G-d’s hands, from the inception of life to the very last breath.

There was an interesting story I heard from my wife I would like to share:

Three Israeli friends went to visit someone. The host places in front of his guests watermelon, as a CHIBUD KAL-light refreshments and informs them “I have to attend, briefly, to something important, in the next room. Please make a bracha and help yourselves”. One should always show hospitality by presenting chibud kal-light refreshments when guests enter your house. The three guests, who were not very knowledgeable in Jewish religious matters, were puzzled on what to say. “What bracha do we recite for watermelon?” one asked the other. “I think its BOREH PRI HA’ETZ” one said. “No, I think its “BOREH PRI HA’ADAMA” said the other. The third person said confidently “Oh, I know, it’s SHAHAKOL NIYA B’DVARO and I’ll tell you why”. He eagerly wanted to tell his story. “When I was in the war in Gaza in 2008, I was operating a tank in combat with a team of two others. We were firing at the enemy however missing our targets. As a result they were making advances on us. It was getting quite scary. “Why are we missing our targets”, we asked each other, alarmingly?! One of us desperately said” I think we have to make a bracha before we fire”; anxiously, we allagreed, “Yes, but what bracha? Oh, I know, when I was a little boy, my grandfather used to give me candy and say “Here, get the candy, make a bracha SHEHAKOL NIYA B’DVARO! Yeah, yeah lets try it!! So when we spotted our target we started to shout BARUCH ATA HASHEM ELOKANU MELECH HAOLAM SHEHAKOL NIYA BIDVARO!!!!————–BOOOOM!!!. What do you know, it hit the target!! Lets try it again…. BARUCH ATA HASHEM ELOKANU MELECH HAOLAM……..BOOOM!!!!… Once again, It hit the target Again!!!…and again. We, then, were able to successfully reach home and accomplish our mission.

So you see, if the bracha works on destroying our enemy surely it will work on the watermelon.”

There are two very important insights one can derive from the incidences above. The first, we see many times, whether in our history or from our own personal experiences, our Jewish nature is such that we tend to gravitate to G-d at certain times. Extreme positive or negative occurrences, in these cases, the moment of gloom and despair, automatically, is set to autopilot. The soldiers at their time of desperation reached out to their Creator.

I’m not sure if its medical protocol where the doctor addresses the patient’s family by saying “now it’s in G-d’s hands” when he doesn’t have the answers. Perhaps doctors are reaching out to G-d, out of frustration, proclaiming “You run the show…tell me what to do!!”

Secondly, curiously,if by any chance, the blast would not have hit the target, would the soldier have maintained their faith in G-d? Well, I’m not sure. Perhaps, seeking G-d at those intense moments is just a temporary first reaction. Who knows, perhaps the next step, if they have continued to miss their target, would have been to scream out “Simon says” before firing and, maybe then, if successful, the soldier/guest, would have suggested to recite that instead of shahakol for the watermelon.

So in other words, perhaps, it’s a temporary leap of faith where if it doesn’t go your way they tend to go to a different direction.

Interestingly, whenever a Jew experiences danger or triumph, he turns to G-d and the one phrase that personifies the connection, is the SHEMA. In this week’s parsha we read the famous powerful catch phrase that all Jews know SHEMA YISRAEL HASHEM ELOKANU HASHEM ECHAD. This phrase is the embodiment of faith. Despite the plurality of our universe, the Shema stresses that all the forces in nature (denoted by the name Elokim or Elokeinu) emanate from a single, Source (Hashem) – “Hashem Elokeinu Hashem echad”. He is the Indivisible One. And accordingly, the Jewish people seek to become one with Him.

Shema is essential to Jewish belief because this is the basis for Acceptance of G-d’s Absolute Sovereignty that forms the foundation for all divine service by the Children of Israel. The universe was fashioned solely for kavod Hashem, the glorification of G-d (Avot 6:11). It acts as a constant reminder for the Jew to always involve G-d in all his endeavors. The Children of Israel are dedicated to spreading the Name of G-d in the world – even at pain of death such as Rabbi Akiva’s heroic Shema just before the Romans murdered him (See Talmud, Brochos 61b), as well as the example we used in our previous newsletters of Rabbi Fiefer. Rabbi Fiefer was a high school Rabbi in my Yeshiva, YHSQ. His wife and daughter were taken away before his eyes and later killed by the Nazis. He also, said the Shema when presumably was about to die.

Intriguingly, one has to wonder why we cover our eyes when saying this important prayer. There are many beautiful explanations which, some, we actually mentioned. Recently, though, I heard something riveting by Rabbi Yissachar Frand which is worth sharing.

When Yaakov, our forefather, met his beloved son, Yosef, after 22 years, when he thought he was dead, Yosef emotionally embraced him while Yaacov was so grateful to G-d that he covered his hand on his eyes and recited the Shema.

A little time before their famous emotional reunion as Yaakov was about to make his journey to Egypt, G-d appeared to him and told him: “I am the G-d – G-d of your father. Have no fear of descending to Egypt, for I shall establish you as a great nation there. I shall descend with you to Egypt, and I shall also surely bring you up; and Yoseph shall place his hand on your eyes.” [Bereshis 46:3-4]. Regarding the words “and Yosef shall place his hand on your eyes” the Zohar comments: “This is what the secret of Krias Shma is all about.”

In order to fully understand the Zohar, Rabbi Frand brings a vital but mystifying passage in the Torah.

The Kol Aryeh cites his great teacher the Chasam Sofer (who lived 1762- 1839 in Hungary), who explains the Almighty’s answer to Moshe’s request “Show me, please, your glory” [Shmos 33:18]. This incident occurred when Moshe was on Mount Sinai meeting with G-d to receive the Torah on behalf of the Jewish people. Based on the Gemara [Brachos 7a], Moshe was thereby asking the profound and age-old question: “Why are there righteous people who suffer and wicked people who prosper?” The Almighty retorts back: ” You will see My back, but My face may not be seen.” [Shmot 33:21-23]. The Chasam Sofer explains the idea of seeing G-d from the back but not from the front allegorically. “My face may not be seen” means “understanding things while they are happening”. Man is incapable – from his perspective – of understanding the idea of the righteous suffering and the wicked prospering.

Only if man “stands with G-d” and can see all of history from beginning to end will he have the ability to understand things in context and appreciate that everything is in fact for the best. “My back” means in retrospect – from the rear. The belief that G-d always does what is good, is essentially what we say when we recite the Shma Yisrael. Hear O Israel, the L-rd (Hashem) our G-d (Elo- keinu), the L-rd (Hashem) is One. We are familiar with the idea that the word Elokeinu (our Elo-kim) is the Name of G-d that represents His attribute of Judgment. The name Hashem (Yud-Kay-Vov-Kay) is the Name that represents His attribute of Mercy. The interpretation of the declaration of Shma Yisrael is the following: “Understand O Israel the Name Hashem (Yud-Kay-Vov-Kay) representing mercy and compassion is identical with the Name – Elokeinu – our G-d of Justice; it is all One. He sometimes appears Merciful and sometimes as a Strict Judge, but we must believe that ultimately it all emerges from the name Hashem – the Name associated with Mercy. The Talmud states [Berachos 13b] that when Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi recited the Shma Yisrael, he would cover his eyes. Based on this passage, the Tur in Shulchan Aruch rules – and this is the universal practice – that every Jew should cover his eyes when reciting Krias Shma. Why do we do this? Because sometimes, when we try to say Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad [the L-rd our G- d the L-rd is One], attesting to our belief that the attribute of Mercy and the attribute of Justice are all the same, there are too many troubles right before our eyes to allow us to truly believe this testimony. It becomes difficult for us to say that everything is for the good. Therefore, we cover our eyes so that, symbolically at least, we do not see all the troubles.

The Kol Aryeh states if we want an example of this concept – that everything that the Almighty does – regardless of appearances – is truly all for the good, we can find it in the life of the righteous Yosef. His life personifies this belief. He was hated by his brothers, thrown into a pit, sold as a slave, defamed and framed by his master’s wife, and put into a dungeon where he languished for 12 years. What was he thinking through all of this?

However, eventually, because he was in this dungeon in Egypt, he became known to Pharaoh, he became the second in command in Egypt, he sustained all of Egypt, and eventually saved his brothers and family from starvatio n. In the end, Yosef saw how all that happened to him indeed was for the best.

Therefore, G-d told Yaakov not to fear as you downgrade to Egypt. Although Yaakov perceived prophetically that this would be the beginning of a long and bitter exile, G-d reassured him by saying, “Yosef will place his hands over your eyes.” In other words, G-d was reminding Yaakov of all that happened to Yosef and that despite the trauma and troubles, all had worked out for the best in the end. Yosef personified the idea that apparent troubles can foreshadow great and positive outcomes.

“Yosef will cover your eyes.” The Zohar states – “this is the secret of Shma Yisrael.”

Now we understand the Zohar. The secret of Krias Shma is the unification of Hashem [G-d of Mercy] with Elokeinu [our G-d of Judgment]. This is sometimes hard to perceive unless we cover our eyes. Yosef (and all that happened to him in his life) should be our metaphorical model for covering our eyes and allowing ourselves to be convinced of the truth of this declaration of unification of G-d’s attributes.

The soldier/guest reached out to G-d in a moment of despair, like we all do, because that is what the pure soul of a Jew gravitates to. However the next step is most critical in reaching true and powerful faith. This is personified by the Shema Yisrael, where we learn everything we experience is for the good. However, we’re human and at times it’s hard to comprehend the negative. The soldiers in the tank reciting the bracha of shahakol are alive, however, there have been soldiers that have perished in this year’s war in Gaza. How painful it is for their families. Let us cover our eyes and say Shma and perhaps G-d will answer our prayers. Perhaps the attribute of mercy will stand out and Jews around the world will not see more anguish, Amein!

Parshat Devarim Highlights

First Portion: * Rebuke is as popular as a bad stomach ache: no one likes rebuke. Apparently, 37 days before Moshe died, he began rebuking the nation; what a way to go. I tip my hat to Moshe, our leader and Rabbi, how he was able to keep the audience interested and then to come back for more abuse the very next day. There are those who like getting pounded on the head; they would rather receive the stick than the carrot. The Israelites, remarkably, listened for thirty-seven days! How, in the world did he manage that? There are ways of saying things and there are ways of saying things. One popular answer is that he never mentioned the crime, just the crime scene. He mentioned the place where the transgression happened; however, not the transgression. Also in the middle of the rebuke, Moshe starts to bless the people. The sensitivity Moshe showed of smacking one minute and being nicey-nice the next was a stroke of genius.

* The book of Devarim is known to be a review of the previous four, with the exception of a few new commandments like Yibum, which we were introduced in the incident with Yehuda and Tamar in the book of Bereshit, and the laws of slandering a virgin bride, divorcing a woman, conspiring witness, etc. Therefore, many call this book Mishnah Torah – review of the Torah. The commentary, Abarbanel, says the book of Devarim is meant to explain those matters about which doubt had arisen in the minds of the Jews and thus need a special explanation.

Second Portion: * In this section, Moshe emphasizes the importance of a fair and righteous judicial system. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz z”l once pointed out the importance in which both parties should be present when the case is being presented before the judge. The individual not present is at a tremendous disadvantage and the judge, on a subconscious level, would favor the one present in the room.

Third Portion: * Moshe brings up an uneasy memory of the spy incident. The Israelites wanted to be assured that the promised land they were getting was indeed special. So they requested spies to probe the land for reassurance. The spies came back with a tainted, biased, self-centered report in which they instilled fear, paranoia, and doubt in the Jewish nation.

Fourth Portion: * After realizing their mistake with the spy incident, the Israelites insisted to fight an ill-advised war with the Amorites, the neighboring country to the new promised land. Strangely, as Moshe recollects, he compares the incident to getting stung by a bee. Just like bees die after they sting, so too the Amorites after they stung the Jews, they died. Apparently, the Israelites won the war. However, it was a war of nuisance and menacing pain similarly to getting stung and feeling very uneasy. Although it was considered a punishment for the Israelites, getting stung and bruised, nevertheless, they were victorious. G-d wanted them to realize they had sinned. However, he wanted them to feel superior to the enemies and prove the spies wrong.

Fifth Portion: * G-d instructs Moshe not to conquer the land of Amon, Moav, and Seir. This is a reward for Lot, whose descendants are Amon and Moav, for keeping silent and not telling Pharaoh that Sarah is Abraham’s wife. Seir, one of the descendants of Eisav, permitted the Jews to buy provisions from his people. Moreover, G-d rewarded Eisav’s descendants because of the tremendous respect Eisav gave his father, “You should live by the sword”. Furthermore, G-d warned the Israelites not to antagonize and respond to Eisav’s descendants militarily because of the bracha Yitzchak gave to his son Eisav. The Jews should conceal themselves until his wrath subsides.

Sixth Portion: * When G-d says to hold back and don’t provoke, one listens and when G-d instructs us to be the aggressor and fight, by George, we fight. The Israelites went to war with Sichon, King of the Amorites and Og, King of Bashan. However, Moshe was hesitant to fight Og because of his past merits.

Seventh Portion: * Moshe concluded, “I divided the lands on the Eastern side of the Jordan, which we captured from Sichon and Og among Reuben, Gad, and half of Menashe. I warned them, “Even though you have received your portions, you may not remain here. It’s preferable you march in the forefront of the Israelite army to cross the Jordan and conquer the land. I encourage my successor Yehoshua. You have seen what G-d has done to Sichon and Og. Have trust that he will likewise deliver the thirty-one kings of the land of Canaan into your hands”.

The reason why we’re suffering so much-Tisha b’Av

July 31, 2014 admin Fast Days, Tisha B'Av No comments

Many of our sages reason that Yom Hashoa which commemorates the tragic deaths of six million Jews during the Holocaust should not be commemorated on this day. They say we should mourn the deaths of those Jews who perished during that dark period of our history on Tisha b’Av. It is written in many of our holy books that the source of all our problems stems from that tragic day. All our suffering, all the Jewish blood that was spilled through the years throughout the world is connected to Tisha b’Av.

It seems like everybody has their personal Tisha b’Av.

There have been many wars fought by our brethren, in our homeland, over the last 50 years however this war that we’re fighting today has touched a very sensitive cord. When the three boys were kidnapped and killed it was very hard to comprehend what had transpired, especially after a rally was held on their behalf and one of the mothers spoke so emotionally. Many people came and showed support. It was solidarity at its best. However, seeing those clips of the rally and knowing now, in hindsight, that those boys were already dead a week before gave many an uneasy chill.

Over the course of history we’ve always had bad luck the weeks leading up to Tisha b’Av. One of the reasons why we’re suffering so much is the result of what transpired during the second Temple era. The Temple was destroyed due to baseless hatred which stems from not giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Life is a learning experience and there was an incident where I learned a very valuable lesson about people. I guess one can say my maturity level increased a few notches that very day. As a high school student I always felt that I was never understood by my teachers and Rabbis. Some students were not able to relate to the Rabbis of our high school who came from old Eastern European, Israeli Sephardic and American born but with religious Boro Park backgrounds. We were very proud to be born and bred in America and found the authority figures to be lacking in the culture we students were accustomed to. Although our parent were Israeli Bukharian, Persian and many from Eastern European immigrants, we students were seeking a connection to the seductive American culture. As a result, perhaps deep down we were hurt that our needs were not addressed by the school faculty. Therefore, we rebelled and did not take the learning curriculum or its teachers & administrators seriously.

However, one particular day things changed just slightly. It was Yom Hashoah and the entire school was asked to attend the ceremony. It was mandatory, as almost everything is in high school. The auditorium was filled but I did not see the guest speaker. That’s because there was no guest speaker. One of the old eastern European Rabbis, Rabbi Fiefer, was going to address the crowd. “Wonderful”, I sighed;’ what is he going to speak about?” I said to myself with sarcastic annoyance.

As he got up to the podium, with his thin high pitched voice and thick accent, the short pudgy Rabbi began to speak. “Boys I am a holocaust survivor

I was married and had a young daughter when the Nazis YEMACHSHEMAM took us all away to the camps. I never saw my wife and daughter again. They perished in the camps”

The students were stunned. We never knew Rabbi Fiefer was married before and had a daughter. We knew he had one adopted son who actually attended our school. I was taken aback by the hurt this man must have experienced losing his family. I was imagining the Rabbi playing with his daughter and the next moment having to say goodbye to her abruptly, with tears in his eyes, as she was being pulled away with her mother by the Nazi monsters. This Rabbi went through hell and actually, in a sense, still was. One thinks “oh he’ll just pick up the pieces and move on”. However I’m sure his daughter’s laughter and tears are memories going through his mind constantly. We have to believe that it was G-d’s plan and it was designed that way. I’m sure that heshmulps us cope with any tragedy and it most likely helped him. Nevertheless, we’re human and its difficult. We never had experienced such atrocities living in our safe haven of Queens with our parents. I couldn’t imagine how this man was able to put that memory aside and teach a class.

Although we still couldn’t relate to Rabbi Fiefer and learning was always difficult in his class, we had a lot more respect for him. No one misbehaved anymore. We did not want to get him upset in class because perhaps it might jar some other difficult memories. Yom Hashoah was a learning experience that year.

My learning experiences didn’t end when I graduated. Rabbi Jack Zucker was the executive director of finance of the school. We, as students, always thought he was very aloof. He rarely smiled and never interacted with the students. Some of the student found the slight coldness as offensive and they would make jokes about it. Boys will be boys especially high school boys and the jokes can be immature and at times vicious.

One of the boys who was a good number of years older then me worked for Rabbi Zucker after he graduated in the school finance office for a year or two. His parents and mine knew each other.

Tragically this boy later on in life, in his thirties, married and with kids, was murdered. Many of us from our community attended his funeral. One can imagine it was a very sad funeral. However we did not anticipate what we saw next. Yes, it was difficult to see the kids crying “Daddy”. That was predictable. However, we kept on hearing loud weeping from the far corner of the Shul. After a while we realized it was Rabbi Jack Zucker. He was crying uncontrollably. The friends who went to our high school were surprised to say the least by the uncharacteristic display of emotions of Rabbi Zucker over his former employee. Perhaps Rabbi Zucker was a father figure to the boy; apparently the boys father past away at a young age. It seemed like the tin man actually had a heart. One never knows what kindness one does and how he does it, as he did with this boy. We judged him completely incorrectly. Later on I met Rabbi Zucker’s sister who said “Jack wasn’t at all like that, (cold) when you got to know him. He has a good heart and a great sense of humor”.

So much for high school legends

Rabbi Ilan Feder a high school Rabbi at Yeshiva Chofets Chaim once experimented with his class by giving each member a Waldo puzzle and asked each student to circle one item in the picture that they find most interesting. (American Puzzle Factory produced a series of Where’s Waldo? jig-saw puzzles between 1989 and 1991. They ranged in size from 100 pieces to 550 pieces. These puzzles were releases of classic Waldo scenes from Where’s Waldo?, ) Astonishingly, very few students picked the same item. Considering these student come from the same background. Most of their parents are Rabbis living in Queens. There are all the same age. One would figure perhaps out of a class of 20, 12 or 13 would choose the same figure. However, we see how each individual is different and one can not judge their fellow because they’ll never be in his shoes. We’re designed to be different

One of the aspects of judging one favorably is preventing one from speaking bad about someone (lashon harah).

The Chofetz Chaim says that most occurrences of Lashon Harah happen because the violator did not give the benefit of doubt (lo danu l’kaf zechut) to the person about whom he spoke. The root of the problem thus does not start with one’s mouth. The problem ultimately begins with a negative assessment. A person makes a judgment or assessment about someone and the problem is in the assessment. If, writes the Chofetz Chaim, people would always take the trouble of giving their fellow man the benefit of the doubt, Lashon Hara would not begin.

Rav Chaim Shmuelivitz points out that the punishment of the Spies for speaking Lashon Hara against Eretz Yisrael was “a year for each day” — forty years corresponding to the forty days that the spies were in the Land of Israel. But that calculation is problematic. They did not speak Lashon Hara for 40 days. They only spoke Lashon Hara one day, the day they returned from their 40 day mission! The Lashon Hara that they spoke is covered in a handful of pasukim. At most, it could not have taken more than 10 minutes to speak those words. So why were they punished with forty years? The answer is that the punishment did not just come for the speaking of Lashon Hara — it came for the negative judgment as well. The negative assessments and perceptions that they developed during the 40 days of travel in the Holy Land caused them to be punished 40 years for 40 days. This, says the Chafetz Chaim, is where the battle lies. The battle lies in training ourselves not to jump to negative conclusions. Lashon Hara is not merely a crime of speech. It is a crime of perception. The distance between character assessment and character assassination is very small.

An important note is that sometimes one is so careful to judge his fellow favorably that he is taken advantage of. Sympathy is tremendous but it should be practiced with intelligence. At the end of the day misplaced sympathy is dangerous as we are witnessing in the current Gaza war.

There is a practical advantage that a person accrues by judging his fellow man positively. The way in which a person treats and judges his friend is the way that he will be judged in Heaven. The Mishneh [Avot 3:16] teaches that “Nifrain min ha’Adam m’daato v’shelo m’daato” a person receives his punishment in ways that he knows about and in ways that he does not know about. The Ba’al Shem Tov (1698-1760) explains the idea that a person will be punished without his knowledge (shelo m’daato) as follows: If a person witnesses an incident involving his fellow man and jumps to the conclusion that his friend is a thief, a liar, a wicked person – the “witness” will be judged similarly in the World of Truth. Rav Pam cites a famous story of Dovid HaMelech [King David], who took Bat Sheva as his wife. Bat Sheva had previously been the wife of Uriah the Chittie. (Uriah was in the army of David and the practice back then was that soldiers going out to battle would first divorce their wives.) Despite the fact that she was technically not a married woman, our Sages note that this was an unbecoming act on the part of David HaMelech. Natan HaNavi [Nathan the Prophet] came to David and told him a hypothetical story of a rich man and a poor man. The poor man had only one little sheep, while the rich man had everything. The rich man, however, came and took this sole possession of the poor man away from him. Natan asked the King for a ruling in this situation. “David became very angry and said ‘As G-d Lives, this man who did this is deserving of death!'” [Samuel II 12:5]. The prophet then responded “You are that man.” He declared that David would be judged according to his decree in the hypothetical case. “The very same sword that you proclaimed upon him will come back to haunt you and your household.” The Baal Shem Tov says that this dialogue between David HaMelech and Natan HaNavi is exactly how it will happen to each of us in the World of Truth. We will come before the Heavenly Court and we will be given a ‘hypothetical case’ to judge. We will be told “There was this person and he did such and such. He desecrated G-d’s Name; He was not honest; and so forth. What is his fate?” We will show righteous indignation and offer all the appropriate condemnation of such a person. We will proclaim him deserving of harsh punishment. And then we will be shown that we, in fact, committed all of these sins and that we just declared our own fate.

That is the result of being unwilling to give people the benefit of the doubt. Such an attitude will eventually come back to haunt us. This is the meaning of the Mishnah that says that a person will be punished “without his knowledge”. We would not have imagined that this particular trait of ours would come back to haunt us and seal our own fates.

The Gemara [Shabbath 127b] records that “One who judges his fellow man favorably, will in turn be judged favorably”. This is more than “measure for measure”; this is just the way it happens. The way we ‘rule’ (pasken) about others – the same words, the same approach – is the way that we will be judged.

The next time that we have a doubt about someone, let us not immediately jump to conclusions. It is well known that people often like to jump to conclusions, specifically regarding the more distinguished members of the community – the Rabbis, the Torah Scholars, the leaders of the community. The “bigger” one is, the more people are apt to jump to the opposite conclusion rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt. However, one day this tendency will, Heaven forbid, come back to haunt us.

Perhaps the solidarity that was shown at the rally for the murdered boys was a slight push forward toward reconciliation with our brethren toward a more everlasting unity. Perhaps G-d will see us merging together more often and end the Tisha b’Av incidences. Perhaps Rabbi Fiefer z’l and people like him will not be separated from loved ones, perhaps no one will shed tears of grief anymore, only tears of joy….Amen

I want the Bracha First!!!

January 30, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon Jewish Values No comments

This article was constructed with the help of Dr. Robert Goldman, Psychologist of Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim and Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Eliezer Finkleman, Yitzchak Aminov

Who doesn’t want to receive a bracha from their beloved father or grandfather? It’s a big honor. One gets a feeling of warmth and an awareness that the bracha has been passed down for many generations, for thousands of years. It’s beautiful!!

Interestingly, though, what happens when the beloved patriarch wants to give a more important bracha to your younger sibling? How would you feel? Would you feel slighted? Does one still have that warm feeling?

We have an ancient tradition, and many would say, one of the most beautiful customs in Jewish life is for parents to bless their children at the start of the Friday night Shabbat meal. What makes it more important is it’s done at Shabbat table which is designed to be the grand stage for family communication and family love, especially in todays fast pace lifestyle where one doesn’t communicate with his family all week. Girls receive the blessing: “May God make you like the matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.” Boys, meanwhile, are blessed “to be like Ephraim and Menashe.”
What happened to the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?! Why were Ephraim and Menashe chosen instead as the subjects of this important tradition?

In this week’s parsha, the last in the book of Sefer Bereshit, we see a very interesting pattern, the rejection of the first-born. When Yosef brought his two sons for a blessing from Yaacov, his father, who was old and ready to pass on, he did something very peculiar. Yaacov crossed his arms so that Efraim, who was the youngest, would be under his right hand and Menashe, who was older and purposely placed by Yosef at his grandfather’s right, got the left. Yaacov, who emphasized that Menashe also received a nice bracha, gave the more important blessing to Efraim.

We see through history that the first born, the well-respected elder, receives double the inheritance, losing, on many occasions, the status in which he inherited. This was apparent in the first generation of the world; Cain was the oldest; however Hevel got the reward. We know that Shem, (where our ancestors come from) one of three sons of Noach, was not the first-born. Abraham passed the baton to Isaac, the youngest, and not to Yishmael. The same is said about Isaac’s sons, Eisav, who was the bechor, but Yaacov was the brother chosen. Reuben, the eldest of the twelve tribes, neither got the first-born rights, the kingdom nor the kehuna (high priest).

First and foremost, the Torah is trying to emphasize that even though the first-born has changed the status of man and has made him a father of this precise bechor, nevertheless, the bechor has to earn the benefits that has been bestowed upon him. There’s no freebee; no job is safe. Apparently, it’s a demanding role and has to be maintained to the highest standard, or else he loses it.

There is a puzzling question: Okay, we learn “one has to earn his brownie points and nothing is a freebee” from the tragic story of Cain and Hevel, but the Torah keeps on harping the same pattern over and over. Why? We learned the lesson. Perhaps one didn’t get it the first time, so the Torah wants to accommodate those slow thinkers and present similar storyline; possibility?

Ephraim and Menashe represent a break from this pattern. This explains why Yaacov purposely switched his hands, blessing the younger Ephraim before the older Menashe: there was no

resentment from Menashe. He was ok with it!! There was no jealousy; he didn’t feel slighted. This was a tremendous revelation. Yaacov wished to emphasize the point that with these siblings, there is no rivalry. For this reason Menashe and Efraim both received their own tribe. They were the only grandchildren to receive this recognition. It was a tremendous act of respect on Yaacov’s part to give them such honor. He knew what refined character they both had.

The book of Bereshit concludes with the positive unity of Menashe and Ephraim as one of its lead story. After all the sibling rivalry which we encountered, mankind finally got it right. For this reason, the Torah goes out of its way in the beginning of the second book of Shemot, to relay a conversation between G-d and Moshe pertaining Moshe’s appointment as leader of the Israelites. Moshe was concerned that his older brother will be slighted. He was afraid he would be humiliated. After all, he was the leader of the nation until that point. Although Aharon did nothing wrong as leader, it was evident, one didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to realize Moshe was born with unusual gifts and was destined to be the redeemer. We see Aharon’s greatness was to recognize Moshe’s ability and to realize he would be best for the nation of Israel. Aharon was happy to step down. It was totally a selfless and courageous act.

One has to realize that it’s not so simple to overcome such a test. In fact, it’s one of the CHULSHAT ENOSH human weaknesses. There are a number of very interesting stories in our history pertaining to this test.

The great HILLEL came to Israel from Babylonia. His activity of forty years likely covered the period of 30 BC to 10 AD. As soon as he came, everyone realized how great he was. He answered all the questions that was presented to him and knew all the Jewish discourses that was presented to him cold. It seemed like Shmaya and Avtalyon, the leading Rabbis, also realized that he was far greater than they. In response to his presence they resigned their position as leading Rabbis, relinquishing the mantle of leadership to him. A generation later the famous Rabbi Yehuda the NASI-prince, the leader of the Jews of his generation and the author of the Mishna said it would be most difficult, for me, to give up the position of president. I would not be able to relinquish the honor. Kol Hakavod to Shmaya and Avtalyon for placing the welfare of the Jewish people in front of their life time achievements, goals and pride.

Being the leading Rabbi has always been in the forefront throughout our history. In every corner of the world the head Rabbi was traditionally always recognized as the authority. It commands tremendous respect but with it he takes upon himself tremendous responsibility.

In the 1700’s, there was a large Jewish community in Prague headed by Rabbi Yechezkel Laundau. The position of head Rabbi was traditionally chosen by vote. Rabbi Laundau narrowly beat out Rabbi Zorach, who was also tremendous Torah scholar. Rabbi Zorach was not satisfied. He felt he would be the better choice in serving the community. On the first Shabbat of Rabbi Laudau’s new position, Rabbi Zorach asked him a question in front of the congregation that he could not answer. It was clearly an embarrassing moment right at the start of his tenure. He came home and cried himself to sleep. His father, who had passed away some time ago, came to him in a dream where Rabbi Laundau disclosed to him his anguish over the question asked by Rav Zorach. His father said “Son you will find the answer of the question in the Tosfot in this particular tractate of the Talmud,” disclosing the page. The next morning sure enough the answer was there. He then showed it to Rav Zorach who himself was not aware of the Tosfot answer. He then asked him “how did you figure out the answer?” When he found out about his father coming to him from the next world to give him the answer and save face in front of the congregation, he rationalized if the other world is interfering with matters of this world and providing answers so Rav Laundau can keep his position then perhaps this is what the heavens want; this is what is suppose to be. He then gave up the quest to overthrow Rabbi Laundau and eventually became a staunch supporter of him.

Rav Zorach could have rationalized the situation differently. We tend to look at everything to our favor. If man develops a liking to a certain view, he can make a straight line look crooked.

It’s too simplistic to blame the individual alone for being selfish. It’s a lot more complex. One has many pressures. On occasion, the wife and other family members get involved, egging the person not to give up. Perhaps they would feel slighted by the individual not being chosen. One, at times, succumbs to pressure. What starts out as a sincere project often ends up as an egotistical struggle; it’s scary, however, we tend to be drawn in to this natural human nature deficiency.

One of the most sensitive person that I have ever met, who worked and stressed good character traits was the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim Rav Henoch Liebowitz t’zl.

At his Eulogy, one of the eulogizers said something mind boggling. He quoted Rav Henoch saying that “the toughest decision that I ever made was to pass over the position of Rosh Yesiva to his own chosen heir apparent.”

Here is a man well into his eighties knowing well he cannot function as the head Rabbi because of health issues, has difficulty giving up the mantle.

It’s not so easy!!

We now can appreciate and acknowledge that Menashe was a remarkable human being and the same can be said of Aharon.

Why do we have to cover our eyes when we say the Shema?

January 30, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon G-d and Us, Tefilla/ Prayer No comments

Brief background: Shema is the famous prayer we say four times a day; twice in the morning, once in the evening, and once at bedtime. We cover our eyes and recite the passage. Why?

We find in this week’s parsha when Yaacov met his beloved son, Yosef, after 22 years, when he thought he was dead, Yosef emotionally embraced him while Yaacov was so grateful to G-d that he recited the Shema. The concept behind Shema is that the whole body has to be emerged in the dedication to G-d. Symbolically, we are expressing it by covering our right hand on our eyes. The hand has five fingers representing our whole body. Instinctively, each finger covers its own territory.

* Thumb – instinctively cleans the mouth area

* Index finger – instinctively cleans the nose

* Middle finger – instinctively scratches the back area

* Ring finger – cleans the eyes

* Pinky, little finger – instinctively cleans the ears

When we say the Shema, it’s usually deep into the prayers where the concentration is intense. So when we do cover our eyes, this thought pattern should be applied.

Am I more loyal to being Jewish or being an American?

January 30, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

” trust of American Jews was never the same after the Jonathan Polard case”

The question one should ask: Am I more loyal to being Jewish or being an American? Hey, I know what some of you are thinking. It doesn’t matter Jewish or American, I’m here to make money!! That is my mission here in the land of plenty. This popular notion is more apparent among immigrants than natural born US citizens. Don’t misunderstand me, those who were born here definitely have that competitive edge. However, immigrants arrived here hungry and more or less one dimensional. That helped negate the seductive venues this country has to offer. Nevertheless their children and grandchildren, who are United States born with the American mishaga’as-devonigi, travel beyond that got-to-make-it mindset and have more of an emotional attachment to the American culture and its philosophies.

Therefore if you are an American Jew, it can be a very serious question.

Malcolm Hoenlein, executive vice chairman of the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations said he gets complaints all the time from Jews claiming they’ve been denied access to security-sensitive posts because they are Jewish. The trust related to being that patriotic Joe has been compromised since the Jonathon Pollard case. Jonathan Pollard is an American Jew who was convicted in criminal court of passing classified information to Israel while working as a civilian intelligence analyst.

Just recently, the Prime Minister of Israel Benjamin Netanyahu ordered two Israeli ministries to withdraw a poll asking expatriate Israelis and American Jews about their loyalties. On Sunday, Netanyahu told the Immigrant Absorption Ministry and the Foreign Ministry to halt distribution of the survey after news reports of its contents were published in the Israeli media. Seemingly there is pressure on American Jews on both sides to show their alliance.

WHAT ARE YOU???!!!

We learn a very important lesson from this weeks parsha about our status outside our land, the land of Israel, that is, which the Hagaddah expounds on a bit. During the Pesach seder we read:

And he went down to Egypt” forced by Divine decree. “And he sojourned there” – this teaches that our father Jacob did not go down to Egypt to settle, but only to live there temporarily. Thus it is said, “They said to Pharaoh, We have come to sojourn in the land, for there is no pasture for your servants’ flocks because the hunger is severe in the land of Canaan; and now, please, let your servants dwell in the land of Goshen.”

We learn that Yaacov came down to Egypt with the intention of “LAGUR SHAM”- to live there only temporarily – until the famine was over, not to “LEH’HISHTAKEAH- to live there permanently. Yaacov’s children did not intend to tare down houses and build them from scratch with fancy brick gates.The patriarch Yaacov’s mind set was , ” we’re only here for a cup of coffee and a quick thought, then we will leave”. We will soon learn this is the proper thought we all must have out side of our homeland.

As a matter of fact the vital philosophy that Yaacov instilled in his children of being ” guests” saved them from remaining in Egypt and integrating with them. That being said they would never have become a nation and would have lost the Jewish identity forever

However the RAMBAN asks a very interesting question. If Yaacov’s intention was to reside on a temporary basis then why did Yosef buy them houses in the land of Goshen which is on the outskirts of Egypt? Why not, just, rent?!

Secondly Yaacov sent his son Yehuda with specific instructions to set up study halls and notified Yosef, to make arrangements for them to live in the land of Goshen. The simple understanding is that its away from the Egyptians and their culture. This will prevent intermingling. Apparently Yaacov knew there were tremendous benefits in residing , at least temporarily, in Goshen. What was the benefit?

Thirdly, G-d decreed upon Avraham’s descendent in his covenant with him (15,13 Bereshit) ” Know with certainty that your offspring’s shall be aliens in a land not their own and they will serve them, and they will oppress them 400 years”. However Yaacov lived 17years in Egypt in peace tranquility. What happened to the oppression?

Yosef purposely bought houses for them ONLY in the land of Goshen. One reason for this is so that they should not intermingle with the natives. Another reason is that Goshen is in close proximity to Israel. The plan was to be in and out. The last reason for this is that the land of Goshen was given as a gift to Sarah by Pharoah. . Sarah withheld herself from the advances of Pharaoh and thereby elevated herself spiritually. This was a tremendous test for both, Sarah, as well as Avraham. Sarah’s morality and loyalty was tested. Also we read in the scriptures that Sarah protected her son Yitzchak from the evil influence of Yishmael. She forced Avraham to remove Yishmael from the household. Goshen was infused with her spirit in which outside influence will not be tolerated. In her merit, the land of Goshen was on a different spiritual plane. When the Mashiach comes, Goshen will be part of ERETZ YISRAEL proper.

Our ancestors needed to stay in Goshen. There, the curse of oppression did not take place because of the merit of Sarah. Since it was Jewish land therefore the Egyptians honored that. Perhaps if the Jews would have stayed in Goshen, in the user-friendly and protective ghetto, they indeed would have been out in a short period of time. However, the Pasuk says (Shemot1,7) “and the Israelites blossomed and prospered and filled the land”. They began to live outside the ghetto, in the heart of where the Egyptians lived, in the center of town. Jews have a certain “ants in the pants” attitude that they cannot feel at home. “We have to get out and move uptown, we’re the intelegencia”. The only ones who actually stayed behind were from the tribe of Levi who continued to study Torah in Goshen. The tribe of Levi was untouched.

We see on many occasions in our Jewish history where we’re down trodden after being persecuted we then migrate to a new country. The Jews, with difficulty, put their lives back together. They slowly rebound. However, when ” they make it” they get too comfortable; they imitate the host culture, dress, language. In fact they do it better then the non-Jews. We act like Goyim better then the Goyim!!! Jews then try to blend in where, once again, they get persecuted all over again. The cycle continues.

The Meshech Chochma, Rabbi Meyer Simcha said over a chilling prophecy in the early 1920’s about the Jews in Germany who called Germany “our country”. The popular slogan was “Berlin is our Yerushalayim”. Rabbi Meir Simcha predicted the Holoucaust. How history repeats itself. It happened with the Golden age if Spain, Uzbekistan, Iran……chas veshalom…don’t say it!!!!

We have to adopt Yaacov’s Philosophy of ” being guests.” If we feel that way then we will retain our Jewishness, our culture, our sense of self.

One should be aware, how blessed we are. When we do make the move uptown, to a better neighborhood, we should look for, first and foremost, a good Synagogue of close proximity, a good Yeshiva, a place to learn torah, (study hall) and a kosher PIZZA PLACE!!

We should not contemplate “are we an American first or a Jew first”. We have to maintain the attitude of our immigrant parents, who, for 40 years always said “we’re going back to Israel soon”. Although they never did, they subconsciously protected themselves from becoming an American and thereby getting too comfortable and making them susceptible to the dangers of losing their Jewishness.

The key is to feel that this is not our land. Our land is Israel. We are strangers here and the goal is to eventually return to our homeland. This frame of mind will protect us. How dangerous it is to talk like them, think like them, enjoy the same foods and entertainment they do. If one doesn’t hang on to his Jewishness, what will prevent him from pursuing the attractive Irish girl in the class. One can be an American. We must, however, act like an immigrant; a perfect stranger.

The Pleasures of Chanukah

January 28, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon Chanuka, G-d and Us, Happiness, Holidays No comments

There’s an interesting story told by Rabbi Isaac Olbaum at one of his lectures about Rav Levi Bardichiva that teaches an important lesson about the pleasures of Chanukah in which we’re in the midst of celebrating:

Rav Levi Bardichiva once walked into a room where his friends convened. He found it quite odd that they stopped their conversation so abruptly as if they were hiding something from him. After he pressed the issue, they confessed that they were embarrassed at the topic of conversation and felt he would think they were wasting valuable time that could be spent learning Torah. The friend mentioned how they marveled and were so impressed with the exquisite mansion of Count Potosky.

Count Potosky was a very rich man who had a son who was executed by the non-Jews because he converted to Judaism. The gentiles gave Potosky’s son an ultimatum: either convert back or be executed. He said ‘I’m staying a Jew’. Soon after, young Potovsky was hung and then burned, and many years later, a tree grew from his ashes. Till this day, people would point to that tree and tell you the story of Potosky.

Apparently, the friends of Rav Levi were admiring how rich he was and how he would indulge in all kind of pleasures. Rav Levi responded, ‘Did Potosky light the candles of Chanukah?’ Obviously he didn’t; but if he did, Rav Levi seems to imply, that would be the most pleasurable moment he would have experienced.

What is so special about lighting Chanukah candles?

The Rambam (Maimonides) who, besides being an authority on medicine, was a tremendous halachic figure (expert on Jewish law), is quoted as saying, ‘The sages enacted these eight days as eight days of happiness and praise (Hallel). What constitutes happiness? Happiness is interpreted as having meat and wine. Apparently, this is what gives pleasure to the body and soul. Every time there is a reference to ‘happy’, a meal is required. After a delicious meal then he’s able to sing praise (Hallel).

However, we know a meal is not required on Chanukah. Do you mean to tell me that lighting the candles is a substitute pleasure for the meal? How so?

Chanukah is often compared to the holiday of Purim; but why is a meal required for that holiday and not this one?

In the story of Chanukah, the Greeks didn’t want to kill us; they wanted to embrace us. Their goal was to destroy us spiritually (no Shabbat, no brit milah, etc). Purim, the wicked Haman wanted to destroy us physically. Therefore, we counter back by using our physicality and getting a pleasurable experience with a lavish meal. We use the physicality as a gratitude to G-d. On Chanukah, though, we use the spirituality as gratitude.

‘Everything is from the heavens except fearing G-d’. Although one has to make an effort, for the most part, we have a hard time controlling our lives whether it is making money, marriage, kids, and death. Many aspects of life are determined by the heavens with the exception of spirituality, which is determined by you. It’s our choice whether to keep Shabbat, keep kosher, and be nice to people. It’s in our hands, we’re in control.

So what are the pleasures of Chanukah? We”ll get a better picture from a little glimpse of history. Achav was the wicked king of Israel (kingdom was split Israel and Judea). The Gemarah says he has no share in the world to come. At the time, Aram, the neighboring country who was superior in might, was at a state of war with the Israelites. Aram sent a team to Achav with their demands of surrender. These demands included the Israelites to give up their possessions, wives, and children. Achav was listening and agreeing to the surrender demands. Then they said ‘give up your object of desire, your Sefer Torah.’ ‘Absolutely not!!’ he said, ‘we’ll go to war with you first!!’ he answered back. The Israelites went to war with Aram and won.

Achav, whose reputation as a rasha is unprecedented, violated everything in the book. Why all of a sudden did he say no? What does he care about a Sefer Torah? We see how a Jew can be so complex in his behavior. Every Jew has a certain Jewish pride, a deep down caring about his religion, about his people. When push comes to shove, a secular Jew will bang on the table and declare ‘I’ll show you what it means to be Jewish’. Perhaps this is the reason we are required to light the menorah by the window so that the whole world can see what miracles G-d did for his chosen people. We show the world, but for the most part, it is for us to feel good about ourselves. We light the menorah with pride like the Maccabees lit after they miraculously defeated the mighty Greek army. The pride in doing so should bring out a tremendous pleasure.

Introduction to Chanukah

January 28, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon Chanuka, Holidays No comments

Once one lets the Genie is out of the bottle and one knows once its out it’s pretty hard to put it back in. There was one incident which demonstrated this which broke the armor of the Jewish way of life. This happened when Alexander the Great came to inspect his new conquest. The Jews were naturally scared; after all we Jews don’t have the best track record of being liked by the rest of the world.

Upon entering the gate of the city Alexander did something very unusual and down right shocking, he got off his horse and prostrated to one of the Jewish members of the welcoming community, Yochanan the High Priest. Asked by his advisers why he bowed down to the Jew. He answered “I always saw an angel before I went to battle that led me to victory and that’s the face”.

Alexander was kind to the Jews. He eased the restrictions and hardship imposed on them. However one of the conditions is to name for one year all new born boys Alexander. This opened the door for other Greek names, language and culture.

After Alexander’s death the world was left in a state of chaos. The Greek Empire was split. The south, led by Tol’me, always tried to persuade Greek culture on the Jews. The North was led by Salacious who attempted to persuade by force of arms. The North and the South agreed on everything except where to draw the line and that line happened to be Israel.

Greek the choice culture

The Greek culture slowly started to seep into Jewish society. When Jews embrace a society it becomes dangerous. Here the Jews became more Greek then the Greeks, which always happens in our history. The reason is we have to prove ourselves, “super Germans”, “super American”, or “super Russians”, as an example of just a few ways that Jews try to fit in to the society around them.

Mityavnim- Jews that adopted Greek live, other wise known as Hellenism. Hellenism adopted Greek culture as a way of life. These Jew were ready to give up Judaism. Forty percent of Jews, most of the affluent class were affected. Correspondence among these Jews was in Greek. The Mityavnim men even had cosmetic surgery to put back the piece of foreskin because everything in the culture was nude, bathhouses sports. So these Jews were embarrassed. WE WANT TO BE GREEKS!!

Greeks would have won the battle by default but they over stepped themselves. In 190 B.C. the North gained the upper hand. Their tactics were always “by force”. Jews are a stubborn people, the most secular Jew if forced not to follow the Torah will turn around and say “I’m going to show you I can be a Jew”.

The Greeks passed very oppressive laws; they banned Shabbat; a Jewish bride on her wedding night had to live first with a Greek officer; they banned circumcision etc.

The Battle

In 165 B.C. a group stood up to the Greeks. Matistyahu the high priest lived in the town of Molbene began the uprising. The Greeks came to town and placed a pig on the Alter. They asked for a Jewish volunteer to proceed with this humiliating ceremony. One unfortunate Jew volunteered where Matisyahu proceeded to killed him. This dare by a Jew triggered a battle which escalated into a war between the mighty Greek army and the Macabees. An army which never exceeded more than 12,000 men.

Why is lighting the Menorah the symbol of Chanukah? How does it relate to the Jews winning the war?

The minority won over the majority; that’s what we read about the victory. In essence this is what lighting the menorah’s all about. A little light can light up a whole room and more. The few Jews were able to beat the most powerful nation in the world. The Greeks represent darkness while the Jews, the righteous Jews, represent the light. The Hellenist who supported the Greek army soon after the war were executed. One cannot see the light if there is no darkness. A bulb lit in the day is irrelevant. This is the reason we must only light at night. The darker it is the more intense the light. Darkness, many times, is confusion. We have to feel with all our heart the miracle and to show the world through lighting it in public the clear light; the power of G-d

The Macabees fought guerrilla warfare in caves. The tactics was orchestrated brilliantly by the Jews. The Greek army was worn out, deflated. The Jews destroyed three armies. Eliezer, one of Matisyahu’s sons fought a battle using elephants. The Fortress of Antiyachous, the last great battle led by brother Shimon starved the Greeks out. Shimon’s memorable moment was destroying the Greek Idol Zeus into million pieces. The victory was the spirit of the Jewish people

Qualities We Should All Have and A Leader Most Certainly Have…

January 28, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon Chanuka, Jewish Values, Sensitivity To Others No comments

What president, prime minister, rabbi, community leader would you vote for? What qualities should he/she have?

Let’s look at the weekly parsha, Mikeitz, our current holiday, Chanukah, and this week’s anniversary of a tragic event in order to fully understand what we look for, and should look for, in a leader.

YOSSEF THE DREAMER….was that his claim to fame? We see he became a leader for interpreting Pharaoh’s dream but what propelled him to be considered a leader?

This past week we commemorate the 50th anniversary of the assassination of John F Kennedy, who was the President of the United States at the time.

A new national poll finds John F. Kennedy is the most popular president of the last half century. The CNN/ORC International survey found 90 percent of all Americans approve of how Kennedy handled his job as president. No other president of the last half century even comes close. However if one looks at his accomplishments during his short tenure as president its mediocre at best. So why was he so popular?

Granted,, Kennedy’s untimely end may play a part in his popularity. He’s become enshrined as a martyr, particularly in Democratic households. But William McKinley was another popular, energetic president cut down by an assassin’s bullet. He faded from the popular mind in a way JFK has not.

Kennedy had style but not substance. A poll was taken of the radio listeners and television viewers of his presidential debate with Richard Nixon. The radio listeners of the debate favored Nixon; those who watched on television thought Kennedy won. True, much of the adulation for Kennedy during his life and since, originated in arguably superficial attributes; his youth, personal attractiveness and sophistication and many of us are seduced by those traits. The country was hypnotized by his Hollywood looks and his beautiful young family and he took advantage of the media any chance he got. His press conferences were interesting, compelling and humorous. It seems the thing that gave Kennedy’s such greate success was the thing that his detractors often criticized, his charisma. He had such a feel for the importance of inspirational leadership and the willingness to use it to great ends. But his election at age 43 to succeed the 70-year-old Dwight D. Eisenhower represented a generational shift in American leadership that was as much a source of popular excitement as Kennedy’s individual qualities. As he said in his inaugural address, “the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans – born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace”.

My mother told me that my father cried the day Kennedy was assassinated and many I spoke to said their parents did the same. However Rabbi Baruch Dopelt quotes his mother ” if I knew then what I know now about the immoral things he did then I would not of had the same sad tears”. At the time Kennedy famously came across as caring about his family and about the nation.

The brothers sold Yossef and he wound up in Egypt and then, after a period of living in master Potifar’s house as the head butler, ended up in jail. In jail Yossef met two Individuals, the head butler and the head baker.

The attribute of caring for others was Yossef’s ticket out of jail and eventually lead to his appointment by Pharaoh as Viceroy of the superpower of the world, Egypt. As we read in last week’s parsha (40:7) there were 4 words that Yossef uttered “MADUA PENECHEM RAIM HAYOM?”-why are you so sad today? The caring, sincere concern, which they sensed, of Yosef towards the 2 jailed officers of Pharaoh enabled them to open up to him and eventually disclose their personal dreams.

We see in this parsha as well, It says (41,56) “VAYISHBOR LE’MITZRAIM”- Joseph opened all the containers of stored food during the famine yearshimself and gave the people. Again we see an act of caring on Yossef’s part.

Mr. Yehuda Fouzailoff, a prominent founder of the Bukharian community in New York, said one such person who fits that description is his brother-in-law, Mr. Hannan Benyamini. Hannan, as he was lovingly known, was one of the few who was recognized by just his first name, cared very much about his community. “People sensed his sincerity and perhaps this quality was one that made him so successful as a leader. He was then able then to spread different tasks among prominent individuals in the close-knit community”. Mr. Fouzailoff continues “I never saw a leader quite like him. His goal was to bring individuals to synagogue on a weekly basis. Because this was the Jewish thing to do; it worked! Every week after the services there was a Kiddush. The wives came to help; they cut vegetables for Israeli salad which combined well with the Shabbat eggs”. This warm, caring and homey environment eventually grew to a very big gathering on Shabbat and eventually the enormous community it is now.”

This caring quality is evident throughout our Torah especially as a prelude to leadership. Both Moshe and David spent time as shepherds in order to fine tune their character for caring. The ingredient for caring comes from humility. One has to be subservient to his people; they come first.

How many times did Moshe attempt to sacrifice himself for the sake of the Jewish people? David didn’t care about his honor by dancing for the sake of G-d. There were those who didn’t think it was dignified. Nevertheless, G-d was honored by David’s devotion.

It says that Yossef was cold to his brothers when they greeted him. Although they did not recognize him, he recognized them. Later on though it said Yossef could not hold back the tears and disclosed to them who he was.

What soften Yossef from his cold feeling towards his brothers? What changed his attitude towards them?

A very important growing experience, among the brothers, occurred in this week’s parsha. Lets examine the verses.

Yaacov was hesitant to send Benyamin, his youngest son and the son of his most beloved wife Rachel, to Egypt. The viceroy, Yossef, who’s real identity was not yet disclosed to Yaacov and his sons, offered a proposition. If Yaacov’s family would like to purchase food, the youngest brother had to travel with the other brothers down to Egypt. This did not sit very well with Yaacov, considering that Benyamin’s older bother from the same mother, was already lost in Egypt. It wasn’t until Yehuda’s guarantee that if he does not return Benyamin unharmed then he will lose his share in OLAM HABA-the next world, that Yaacov acquiesced to their request.

For thousands of years ever since then, the tribe of Yehuda would act as a protector for the tribe of Benyamin. As a matter of fact, this is the reason that their tribes are adjacent to each other in their respective territories in Yerushalayim. Most Jews today are from these two neighboring tribes.

When Yossef saw how Yehuda, who was from a different mother, cared for and protected his little brother Benyamin; how he was willing to give up his life both in this world and his olam habah, he realized they have grown , matured and learned to care deeply for each other. He thought now I forgive them. Now is the time to reunite.

I heard a beautiful story at the eulogy for Rabbi Joseph Grunblatt this past week.

It was right before the first scud missile attack where the mad man, Saadam Hussain was threatening to launch these weapons into Israel. One of the congregants of Rabbi Grunblatt synagogue, the Queens Jewish Center, called with a concern. Apparently his son was learning in a Yeshiva in Israel for the year. The father wanted to know how soon can he bring him home back to the states before the rocket attack starts in the following week. Rabbi Grunblatt said “I thought you were going to ask me how long should he stay, perhaps another year!!. He will be fine there.”

Well the following Sunday, when the evil monster Hussain promised to launch the attack, the parents of this boy were glued to the TV set watching CNN coverage and there was a knock on the door. It was Rabbi Grunblatt. He wanted to sit with the parents and see the coverage with them.

As one knows their history, Israel was able to intercept the majority of the scuds. Miraculously we had not one fatality throughout the whole ordeal.

Rabbi Grunblatt apparently thought their child was in no danger from the scud attack. This is exactly what the Greeks wanted to accomplish in the Chanukkah story. They wanted us to abandon our spirituality. They wanted to take away the Torah that we learn. Torah is what makes us Jewish. We are not prepared to do that. We would not let them succeed.

The good Rabbi also showed humanity; he showed he cared and he showed what any good leader should do.

Some things to know about Chanukah

January 27, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon Chanuka, Holidays, Mitzvot and Traditions No comments

* In the first bracha (blessing) of the candlelighting ceremony, there are thirteen tevot (punctuations) which coincide with the thirteen attributes of mercy. (They are very important; G-d practically guarantees that if one says the 13 attributes at proper times of the year he will be forgiven. During the high holidays, it is emphasized greatly.) The second bracha also has thirteen tevot as well, and represents the same. Both brachot together equal 26 which is the name of G-d that represents mercy.

* The longest bircat hamazon of the year is said on Shabbat Chanukah. It has both al hanisim (the prayer said for Chanukah, and R’tzei, the prayer said on Shabbat) and if by chance Rosh Chodesh falls out on Shabbat, that’s’ a marathon.

* What happens if one is on a business trip? Does he light where he is? The answer is no; his wife lights at home for the husband. However, one is required to see the Chanukah candles lit. So if he’s in a Jewish town and he’s able to see other menorahs lit, then he has fulfilled the requirement. If he’s in a city where there are no Jews, then he must light himself. The mitzvah is also to see the candles burning on the menorah.

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