A Guest from the Heavens

October 27, 2013 Uncategorized No comments

 

David Wilder, September 25, 2009

          On one of the pillars inside the Avraham Avinu synagogue is a plaque, with the cover page and introduction of a holy book, titled Emek HaMelech, meaning the Valley of the King. This book was authored by Rabbi Naftali Hertz Bachrach and published in 1648. It’s subject matter is Kabbalah, known popularly as “Jewish mysticism.”

Towards the end of chapter nine of the author’s introduction is a short paragraph, short in quantity, but quantitatively, immeasurable.
          The story is well known. Exactly 490 years ago, the year 1619, in Hebron-
The paragraph, as it is written, in Emek HaMelach:
          A wondrous event on Yom Kippur, know that in Hebron there aren’t always ten for public prayer, only on Shabbat and holy days, when villagers gather there and pray with ten and more. But all the residents of Hebron are pious. And it was on the eve of Yom Kippur, and there were only nine men, and they waited for the villagers to arrive, but not even one came, because they had all gone to Jerusalem, which is a quarter of a day’s walk. And they were greatly saddened that on Yom Kippur they would pray individually and they wept much, and the sun was setting and daylight was disappearing.

And they lifted their eyes and here was an elderly man, in the distance, and they were overjoyed to see him. And when he arrived they offered him a final meal, but he blessed them and said that he had eaten on the way. And they worshipped on the holy day and honored him greatly.

And the next night they began discussions, because all of them wanted to host the guest in his home. And they compromised and conducted a draw, and the prayer leader (Chazan) was selected, he was a holy man who had wondrous dreams and night visions.

And the Chazan led the guest to his home, with the guest walking behind him. And when he arrived at his home, the Chazan turned to honor the guest, that he should enter first, and he saw that the guest was gone. And they searched the entire courtyard, but didn’t find him, and all were greatly saddened, thinking that the guest had left already that night, and did not want to enjoy anything from them.

          And that night the old man appeared before the Chazan in a dream and told him that he was Avraham Avinu, who had come to complete the minyon because he had seen that they were so upset about having to pray individually. And they were very happy and blessed the Great G-d, who had done wondrous things, Amen, May it be His Will:

Parshat Lech Lecha

October 13, 2013 Chessed/ Acts of Kindness, Emunah/ Belief in G-D, G-d and Us, Highlights on the Weekly Parsha No comments
First portion
* Avraham would probably be labeled by many as a pioneer; he was the first man to utilize his great gifts to the fullest and able to capitalize on his potential and bring them to fruition. Through passing the ten tests, he not only elevated the status of man, he also energized the world. He and his wife Sarah did what Noach and all the prominent people before them could not do – spread the word of G-d to the entire civilization and live up to the heights man was projected to live up to. Avraham fueled the attribute of kindness. Everyone is born with certain spiritual energies in which man has to step up to the plate. However, if these energies are not used as designed, it is taken away and transformed to somebody else. A person is provided with certain energies to combat the trials and tests of life to elevate him and by doing so, elevates the world as a whole. However, if he fails to take advantage of the opportunity then the energies transfers to someone else who will be given similar opportunities to elevate himself and the world. Adam, Noach, and others lost the powers while Avraham fueled the KOACH. Avraham had the chutzpah to say NO WAY!! to paganism; he had the audacity to stand up to what he believed in; risking his life for the sake of G-d.
* The Kli Yakar, one of the commentaries on the Chumash, has difficulty with the title of this week’s Parsha, Lech-lecha; literally it means “go to you” which doesn’t make sense. The scripture should be, either, “go” or “leave”. He explains, it actually does mean what it sounds like. “Go to you” is referring to one shall go to himself; he should explore his inner-self, the essence of man. Where shall he do that? The Parsha describes later, by the MAKOM – place. Which place? The place, G-d refers to, is Har Hamoria. This is the place where the Temple Mount stands today. The Kli Yakar informs us this is where the souls are manufactured, the nucleus of mankind is structured. Yaacov had his dream on this spot. The Kodesh Hakadoshim, the most important part of the temple, rested on that spot. Besides offering Avraham’s children riches, G-d offered Avraham clarity, a chance to be more spiritually close to G-d. The kedusha – holiness of the land of Israel, especially in certain parts of Jerusalem, is very apparent.
* Rashi says the third test, G-d made the it more difficult for Avraham by stating, “Leave your land, your place of birth and your father’s house”. By stating these points, it will invoke a feeling of familiarity, so dear, it would make it harder to depart. However, the question is asked, Avraham was ridiculed rather cruelly for not having children by his fellow neighbors and for his belief in a non-visible G-d. Unless Avraham is one of those people who likes getting abused and stepped on, not many do, he would jump at the opportunity to leave. So why did G-d state it like that? Even if one is in an undesirable environment, if it’s his home and his mother’s tongue, one would find it difficult to leave. It’s not an easy feeling going to an unknown destination.
* As soon as Avraham arrived in Canaan, the place where G-d had chosen, famine broke out. This was Avraham’s fourth test. G-d wanted to see if he would complain; he didn’t.
* Because of the famine, they were forced to go down to Egypt.

Second Portion
* This was a tremendous test for both, Sarah, as well as Avraham. Sarah’s morality and loyalty is tested. The frustrating and frightening incident where she is taken away by a king happened twice; once, here, by Pharaoh and another time by Avimelech, the king of the Pelishtim. She could have rationalized; “Maybe I should succumb to Pharaoh’s advances. After all, if I don’t, I am not only putting my life in danger but also the life of my husband.” Sarah could have stooped even further in human character and rationalized, “I can be the Queen. Do you know what Kavod – honor that is.” “Avraham will be fine; I can support him financially, after all, I’m the Queen.” Sarah prayed with intensity so Pharaoh will release her untouched. Both she and Avraham were protected by G-d, and reunited. The test of loyalty, though, happened a second time. The time with King Avimelech was a harder test. Pharaoh and the Egyptians were a barbaric society. However Avimelech and the Pelishtim were more of a high cultural, sophisticated and fashionable people. It seemed it would be more tempting. Moreover, the fact that it happened twice might frustrate her into thinking, “Maybe G-d is sending me a message; I missed an opportunity the first time with Pharaoh. Fool! Let’s try this again. Let’s not mess this up a second time.” On both occasions, Sarah rejected the king’s advances and was returned to Avraham unscathed. G-d then rewarded Sarah in the next Parsha with a son from Avraham. G-d said, “You were tempted with the reproductive organ; I will reward you through the reproductive organ.”

Third Portion 
* The controversial question Rav Eliyahu Dessler asks, was Avraham’s decision to separate himself from his nephew Lot – correct? After all, Avraham was Mr. Outreach. Why didn’t he continue to influence his own nephew? As long as Lot was with Avraham, G-d didn’t fully communicate with our forefather. Furthermore it was only after Lot left Avraham, did Sarah have a child. It seems like Lot brought down Avraham spiritually. It’s not so clear-cut whether to have someone we know under our care and direction. Perhaps they might not let us grow in life.

Fourth Portion
* To save his nephew Lot, Avraham goes to great extent, in the war of 4 kings vs. 5 kings. The question is, why? Didn’t we learn previously that Avraham deemed Lot as unworthy. Furthermore, the kings knew Avraham will make every attempt to rescue his nephew. What’s so special about Lot? In next week’s Parsha, the angels specifically go to Sedom to save Lot before destroying the city. Why is Lot getting the VIP treatment? The reason is, the descendant of Lot is Ruth, and from her dynasty, David will be born. From David, the Moshiach will come.

Fifth Portion
* Avraham rejected any personal gains from the war even though he was entitled. This was to show his devotion to G-d and to show the nations of the world, it was G-d’s hand, not mine, that determined victory.

Sixth Portion
* Sarah suggested to her husband Avraham that he should take her maid servant, Hagar, for a wife; “Maybe then G-d will have mercy on me and give me children”.
* Hagar gives birth to Yishmael.

Seventh Portion
* One of Avraham’s ten trials was the commandment of circumcision.
* G-d instructed Avraham, “Your name will be changed from Avram to Avraham. I am adding a HEY to your name. Your wife’s name will also change from Sarai to Sarah by exchanging the YUD to a HEY. This change was significant because now Avraham and Sarah have been transformed to a higher level.
* When G-d removed the letter YUD from Sarah’s name, it flew up to G-d’s throne to complain. G-d comforted it, “In the past, you were the last letter of a woman’s name. In the future, I will put you at the head of a man’s name”. This will happen when Moshe will rename his student Hoshea to Yehoshua.

The Reciting of the Havdalah

October 13, 2013 Jewish Values, Mitzvot and Traditions, Shabbat No comments
          The ceremonial Havdalah, which we recite Saturday night, makes a separation between the Shabbat, a spiritually holy day , and weekdays. Initially, we recite the Havdalah at the evening services Amida in the midst of the bracha of ATTA CHONEN L’ADDAM DA’AT, “G-d give us understanding”. The question is asked: Why did the Sages instill the recitation of the Havdala in this bracha?
          Another question one may ask is “Are not the statements we make in Havdala (the separation between holy and not holy, between light and dark and between the nation of Israel and the other nations) extremely elementary?”
          Lets give a parable in order to fully understand the message of Havdallah.:
          If someone is not sure if a knife he finds in his house is dairy or meat, what should he do?
         Well one particular individual used one side of the knife for dairy and the other side of the knife for meat. Obviously this person lacks DA’AT-knowledge. This is the reason the recitation is found in the bracha of “G-d please give me knowledge”. If one has the proper knowledge, he can make the proper distinction.
          However life is such that certain situations are not so clear cut. When does one say “Enough”. There are many situation at work or between neighbors that occur between us and the non-Jews that fall under the grey area of what the Havdalah calls ” between us and the non Jews”. We therefore pray our decisions will be clear and with the proper understanding.
          It’s important to put fences, barriers, at the proper junctures of our relationships. Unfortunately, it’s common that lines are crossed. How many of us say “I’m going to do this no matter what”. The reason is our emotions get in the way. There is a certain vulnerability in all of us and no one is immune.
         Avraham had the gift, the courage, and the foresight to draw the line, to make the “havdalah (separation). This is how he was able to teach to his son and students G-d’s word and for this reason G-d loved him like no other.

Making Limitations is Essential

October 13, 2013 Chessed/ Acts of Kindness, Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
Excerpts from the shiurim of Rabbi’s Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt and Dr. Robert Goldman
also excerpts taken from the book by Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler “Michtav Eliyahu”

          I was invited to a yartzheit dinner the other night and, Baruch Hashem, they had a lot of food. America is beautifull!! However, those days of feasting without thinking are unfortunately behind me. Today there are limitations on what yours truly can eat. Yes, yes. We don’t have to indulge. There is something called will power. We have to be strong and not give in to temptation. WE CAN DO IT!! Nevertheless, even with all the RA RA RA pep talk and the encouraging pat on the back, it felt like a war zone at the yartzheit dinner table. It seems, at times one is walking on the mine field; the chicken dish is mixed with french fries. If one is on a low carb diet, he has to separate the two. Besides the fact that its fried food. BUT WAIT!! HOW CAN YOU EAT THE CHICKEN WITHOUT THE FRIES (CHIPS! KARTOSHKA)?! That’s like separating Abbot and Costello. However, ya gotta do it. But wait, there’s more. There is the sour-salted tomatoes….which is bad for high blood pressure. And when we finally reach the end, at about 10:00 o’clock, the crowning devil-in-disguise, the famous rice-meat-carrot dish, makes an appearence. Nutritionist will tell you ” can’t eat carbs after 8-9:00 o’clock”. It’s terribly tempting for someone who is diabetic. One can only eat fruit. With all those distractions, who can concentrate on the speeches…let alone ask, “did someone die?”. Its apparent, one has to draw the line and set limitations or else he’ll be the star of the next yartzheit dinner.
          In this week’s Torah portion, we read about, arguably, the most famous man that ever lived, Abraham. The Sages describe our forefather as a charismatic, towering figure who was always ready to lend a helping hand. The hospitality he provided was second to none. His Shabbat table was always filled with guests. Although he was a loner in his monotheistic beliefs, he had backbone and was not afraid to share and spread the word of G-d. By the end of his life he had everything – children, wealth and a good name. Smart, intelligent, cynical individuals like ourselves know reward doesn’t come easy….So how did he do it?
          G-d says, in verse 29 chapter 28 in parshat Vayeira, that He loves Abraham. One has to ask what did He love about him? Perhaps His love was the result that Avraham passed all the tests, including the biggy of attempting to sacrifice his son Yitzchak as commanded by G-d. Maybe it was his chessed (kindness) to other people.
          We, as diligent followers of the Torah as well as opportunists, have to be sensitive enough to discover clues in the Torah that will help us in life. In this case when G-d says that He loves Abraham, we have to emulate those deeds that led G-d to proclaim this strong positive feeling. Perhaps He will love us as well and shower us with goodness both in this world and the next, AMEN!! Hey! Let’s spread the wealth. We have to sieze the opportunity!!
         Rashi (one of the major commentaries of the Torah) explaining the verse above, says that Avraham was able to pass down to his children, especially his son and heir-apparent Yitchak, and many of his students, the message of G-d. This is something that Noach was unable to accomplish to the full extent.
        How was Avraham able to spread the word?
        Rashi expands on the word “Veh-Shamru”-if you watch. Avraham was able to master that. He was able to set limits. This was an important virtue in Avraham and an important principle to apply in life.
        Let’s give a number of examples throughout Avrahams life on how he was able to skillfully use this power of setting limits and drawing the line, (AD KAN).
        Avraham had a nephew Lot, who needed guidance. Of course Abraham was there to give a helping hand. Mr. kindness. The helping hand, though, was serviced for many years. In fact, Lot was the third wheel behind Avraham and his wife Sarah. Avraham was faced with a dilemma. Should he break off ties with Lot? Rav dessler indicates that G-d didn’t speak to Avraham until he pried himself away from his nephew. Apparently his association with Lot was the reason for G-d’s disassociation. Lot was preventing Avraham from reaching a higher spiritual level.
          However Abraham had, without a doubt, a tremendous positive influence on Lot as we will see in parshat Vayeira.
          Therefore he was faced with a difficult decision:
1) to keep his association with Lot at the expense of his own growth…. or 2) leave him cold turkey and live up to his potential.
        Avraham made the decision to leave.
CIRCUMCISION-BRIT MILAH.
        Another example is at the end of this weeks parsha which introduces us to the concept of brit milah – circumcision. One may ask why was it introduced to Avraham? Why not introduce it at Mount Sinai, many years later, like all the other commandments? Why wasn’t introduced to his son Yitzchak? We can start fresh when he reached eight days old.
To get a clearer picture of why Avraham was chosen to be the representative of this commandment we have to explore deeper into the trait of kindness, the trait that Avraham embodied. The Zohar says the “giving” trait found in cheesed-kindness, if taken to an extreme, would inevitably cause one to succumb to illicit relations. Anyone with that super kindness trait is susceptible. As of matter of fact, Yishmael, Avrahams other son, inherited that trait from his father but was not able to control it.
The Sages say Avraham was shalom (perfect/full/complete.) He perfected all his traits except this one. As one naturally realizes, concentration can be most difficult. By commanding Avraham to perform Brit Milah it now made him perfect. Limitation was set on this organ. There is a certain segula, or spiritual merit, found with the ceremony of brit milan, where one’s understanding of Jewish wisdom is increased. Everytime Avraham looked at his circumcision he would realize the limitation on the trait of chessed. It was not only a sign, a covenant with G-d, but a deterent. This courageous act led to having his one true heir, Yitzchak.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

October 13, 2013 G-d and Us, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
  Why was the rainbow chosen as a symbol of peace between G-d and mankind?
          G-d said, “When I brought the flood, my bow was drawn against man.” The rainbow resembles a reverse bow, signifying that there shall be no more arrows from heaven sent to destroy humanity.
G-d commanded Noach- P’ru u’rivu – be fruitful and multiply. However, Noach was discouraged after leaving the ark and seeing the devastation. The rainbow is a reassurance along with a statement in the Shema that “you and your children will live long on the land that I swore to your fathers.” You will live long without another flood.
In the time of King Chizkiyahu and of the Men Of The Great Assembly (which includes Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai), the Jews reached a very high level of spirituality and righteousness. (In Chizkiyahu’s time, even little children were well-versed in complicated halachic matters.) These two generations did not need the reassurance of the rainbow or the covenant which it represented, since their great merits protected them.
It is a custom in Israel and in some neighborhoods in the New York area that the children carry bows on Lag Ba’omer. The reason is to commemorate Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, in whose generation, no rainbow was seen. (Note that in Hebrew the words “bow” and “rainbow” are the same – KESHET.) The positive message is that we should strive for perfection. In many communities, the Zohar is read on a person’s yartzeit. The portion in the Zohar which we read describes the death of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai. It describes him passing away SHALEM whole. SHALEM and SHALOM – peace are from the same root. We pray that the deceased passed away fulfilled his whole being and peace. It’s the antithesis of the generation of the flood, where there was no peace.
It is forbidden to stare at the rainbow because G-d’s presence is in it. However, it is proper to glance at it and recite the blessing, reminding ourselves of the promise that G-d will not to bring destruction despite our sins. 

Parshat Noach

October 13, 2013 Achdut- Unity, G-d and Us, Highlights on the Weekly Parsha, Responsibility No comments
First Portion
* They must have been pretty bad, for G-d to say “THATS IT, I’VE HAD IT!! I’M DESTROYING THE WORLD!”
* G-d gave Noach 120 years to build the ark to give people a chance to repent and join Him.
* Why is the flood called MAY NOACH – the waters of Noach, the flood of Noach? In other words, why is his name attached to it? It was Noach that G-d empowered the gift and ability to sway others into repentance. Unfortunately, he didn’t step up to the plate. So he takes the responsibility for other’s misdeeds. It’s important to realize that we to have a responsibility for our brethren and not take the deaf-ear New York approach and mind my own business. Some of us have tremendous capabilities and could influence others.
* G-d asked Noach to build the ark himself. Why weren’t others involved? Why didn’t he contract the work to the Mexicans?….cheaper labor. The Torah teaches a very important concept; when someone creates something himself, the creation is an embodiment of himself; his essence, his merits are found in the creation. He was the Tzadik in his generation and G-d found favor in Noach. That favor carries a lot of weight. Maybe now one can understand the controversy, in Israel, many years ago, with playing the music of the composer Wagner, a member of the Nazi German regime. Music is very penetrating and when listening to it, one absorbs the essence, character of the composer. One must be careful listening to some Rock n Roll songs composed by drugged out, suicidal, angry, depressed individuals. Maybe now, one can have a better understanding of copy-caters who mimic what the songs suggests. Another important note, we also find on Pesach; many eat MATZOH-SHMURAH baked by a Jew. There is no soul in machine matzohs.  It is all circuits and wires.  Matzoh has to be made by a Jew, and every Jew has the status of pure kedusha (holiness), no matter what level he is at. Matzoh is such an important commandment; it should be baked by a Jewish soul. Deep down, every Jew has a pure soul.
* Stealing was common; swapping wives was the norm; they would have two wives, one for pleasure…..so what else is new? We see that in our society today. What do you think a mistress does, bake cakes? In addition to what we have mentioned, it would be quite common where they would perform marriages between humans and animals; cross breeding was the norm. That society would crave for any pleasure. There would be no rules, unlimited access.
Second Portion
* Noach was 600 years old when entering the ark. He was joined by Na’ama, his wife, and his three sons and their wives.
* Controversy whether Na’ama was the same person, who was the granddaughter of Kayin. Apparently, there are those that say all of mankind stems from the third son of Adam, Shet.
* Na’ama was an innovator, creating voice singing.
* Cham, one of the sons of Noach, breached the law of abstaining from cohabiting in the ark. The Torah hints, relationships were forbidden, by listing men and women separately. Cham’s wife gave birth to the giant Sichon while in the ark. In truth, Sichon had been fathered by Shamchazael (one of the angels who, before the mabul, descended to earth, to live there as human beings.) Cham came to his wife to save her face. For this deed, which was perpetrated in the dark, Cham was repaid measure for measure; he emerged from the ark dark skinned and all his descendants are also black forever.
* Apparently, Noach only entered the ark when the waters were rising. Commentaries say this was the result lack of belief in G-d.
Third Portion
* Why did the animals die? They didn’t have freedom of choice to do wrong. (See article)
* Only the fish survived because they had not sinned like the other creatures.
* G-d closed the fountain of the earth and sent a wind to disperse the water. Only three hot fountains continued flowing in memory of the flood. One of them is the well-known hot springs of Tiberias in Israel.
* The raven and the dog were the others who cohabited in the ark.
Fourth Portion
*The righteous Noach didn’t emerge from the ark until G-d gave him permission to do so.
*A fundamental change which occurred after the flood was between man and beast. Before the flood, man was promised control over the animals. However, after the flood there was no longer that promise. Instead, the decree was, as long as man is true to his G-dly image, he will not be afraid of them. G-d also put fear of man in animals. Furthermore, as a reward for taking care of the animals, man was given permission to eat them.
Fifth Portion
* A rainbow is a covenant that G-d will not destroy the world again. The rainbow didn’t appear in two generations. One of which was the time of Chizkiyahu where the Jewish nation was known to be righteous. So they didn’t need that protection.
Sixth portion
* Why was Cham blamed for castrating Noach? It was his son, Cana’an, who actually performed the despicable act. Cham merely told his brothers about his father’s nakedness. Why was he at fault? Apparently it was the way he told his brothers. He told them in a derogatory fashion with the eyes rolling, a giggle, and a sly “hey, look at our drunken father”, while Cana’an heard their conversation from afar. The reaction by Cham triggered Cana’an to look down and lose total respect for his grandfather which permitted him to perform the audacity. Cham paved the way by ridiculing his father and figuratively put the knife in his hand.
Seventh Portion
* Why did G-d disperse the unity of the tower of Bavel?  Doesn’t he like unity more than anything? We know they plotted against G-d; however, UNITY IS SPECIAL!! Apparently, it wasn’t a sincere unity. They were united for the sake of the goal, for the sake of the organization. You had to be a company man. One has to sacrifice for the company. If a brick falls, they all mourn. However, if a fellow worker, company man slips, falls and gets killed, apparently, they didn’t care as long as he was replaced efficiently.

 

Sticks and Snakes

October 13, 2013 G-d and Us, Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
          Rabbi Oelbaum asks a question about a very famous but peculiar incident between G-d and Moshe (the greatest leader in Jewish history) in their earliest meeting:
          Why did G-d ask Moshe to throw down his stick? It turned into a snake. Then He asked him to grab it by its tail, where then it turned back into a stick. What the purpose of all that? What a way to introduce yourself!
Was He training Moshe to do magic tricks? Shame there were no rabbits and a top hat around.
          This was the same stick that Adam had in the garden of Eden. The stick was passed down through the generations. Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov all possessed it. Yaccov brought it down to Egypt who later on gave it to his son Yosef. After Yosef died, the Egyptians ransacked Yosef’s house and it ended up in in Pharoh’s palace where it made its way mysteriously to the possession of Yitro (Pharoh’s adviser). It was stuck in the ground, unattainable, in Yitro’s property until Moshe came and pulled it out. In order to understand the answer fully lets bring this example:
King Solomon, the smartest man that ever lived
          Shlomo wanted to understand where the demons get their power. Through his intelligence and ingenuity he managed to capture the head demon, Ashmadai, who said “Let go of me and I’ll reveal to you my secret”. Shlomo did just that but Ashmadai proved to be too clever for the smartest man who ever lived and turned the tables on Shlomo. He over powered the king and threw him half way across the world. Demons’ powers are based on imagination. Ashmadai assumed the role, the identity of king Shlomo. When Shlomo informed people his identity they laughed. “You? The king? Ha! You’re just some homeless begger”. No one believed him. The Sages describe Shlomo’s uphill battle back to the throne. First he was “sholet al maklo”- he had control of his stick. He took small steps and slowly began to take control of his life.
          When G-d approached Moshe he wanted to teach him an important lesson in life. “You, Moshe have a stick in your hand, a holy stick, one that has been passed down for generations. If you let go of the stick; if you lose control, then the stick, the holiness, the tradition, the Torah, your essence, will turn into a snake. The snake is the embodiment of evil; it’s the ultimate negative force. However, if you hold on, if you grab control of your life, you can turn a bad situation into something positive.”
         We started a new year and G-d willing we should all have a happy and sweet year. We have to remember, though, life can be tough.

          Tragedy can affect our behavior, our ability to function, and our overall sense of well-being. The intensity and ways we express our reactions will vary depending on our personal experience, general mental health, other stress factors in our lives, our coping style, our ability to self-monitor our emotional state, and our support network. Perhaps if we know who’s pulling the strings, if we understand we are not fully in control of our vehicle, then we will be able to cope with life.

Noach’s Ark

October 13, 2013 Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

          WHY THE DELAY IN HAVING KIDS? THIS PERIOD WAS A BABY BOOM TIME!!!
          ‘And Noach was five hundred years old when he gave birth to Shem. Cham and Yafet’ (Berashit 5:32) Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz quotes Rashi (main commentary on the Bible) in the Medrash (book explaining the Bible) and asks a question “Why did Noach have kids so late?” The average age in that time period to have children was at one hundred. Did he have infertility problems? Why did G-d hold back?
          G-d said, if Noach’s children will turn out bad then they will drown like the rest of mankind, and if they’ll be righteous then they will burden their father by building more ships. For this reason, G-d waited five hundred years for Noach to have children, preventing Shem, Cham, and Yafet from confronting that scenario.
          Rav Chaim asks a very obvious question on this Medrash. It’s understandable a degenerate society can corrupt and influence. Therefore, one would not want his child to associate or ‘be around’ them. So out of protection to minimize the damage, G-d delayed the arrival of the children. However, if the children were able to be strong in their belief in G-d and persevere, why would that be a burden to build more ships? On the contrary, every father dreams and wants his child to follow in his footsteps at any cost. He should be happy that his sons want to build more ships and follow G-d’s command. Furthermore, we learn later on by Abraham how painful it was for him not to have children. So is it worth it to put someone in anguish by preventing him not to have kids just because not to burden him of building more ships?
          Rav Chaim introduces us to a concept in the Torah with the help of these two examples. Elisha the prophet was Eliyahu’s student (the famous Eliyahu Hanavi who was given the power by G-d to revive the dead.) Rav Chaim points out something astonishing in which Elisha instructed Gichazi, his assistant, to take the prophet’s stick and give life to someone.
         Apparently, one can transfer power to an inanimate object, and furthermore a second party can do the task.
          We find Chana, the prophetess, sewed a coat for her little boy, Shmuel, which he wore all his life. He did not separate from this coat till the day of his death at old age. The sages say that the coat grew with him. What was so special about the coat?
          It was essential for Shmuel the Prophet to wear this coat because it enhanced his spiritual state to great heights. Chana, his mother, who had tremendous love for G-d and the nation of Israel, sewed the coat and put her heart and soul into every stitch. These strong feelings were transferred to Shmuel by wearing the coat and enabled him to have such tremendous dedication to G-d that the scripture equates the Prophet Shmuel to Moshe and Aharon, the leaders who led us out of Egypt.
          Furthermore, astonishingly, we find in the Torah (Shemot 20:23) that the altar in the temple should only be built by stone and not metal (steel) because the latter connotes weaponry. This is quite the opposite of what the Temple stands for – peace, tranquility and kindness. The altar is meant to increase one’s life and not the opposite, which metal (swords, knives) represents. When we were fortunate to have the altar in the Temple, we could use it to atone for our sins. Today the Shabbat table replaces that symbol where the kindness (inviting guests) and love (that we show to our family) atones for our sins. For this reason there are some communities that remove all utensils before one recites the bircat hamazone – grace after meal
But the question is asked, that if swords don’t kill, people do, why is the inanimate object implicated as well?
          Rav Chaim seems to be implying that it goes beyond the concept of ‘association’. There are negative and positive forces that we create which penetrate the object. It is interesting to note that ‘the hot hand’ is definitely applicable today. Many years ago when I began my career in the colored stone business, my father took me on a buying trip to Bangkok, Thailand. I noticed my father buying rubies from a particular vendor even though he was more expensive than the guy down the block. I asked, “Hey Pop, why are you buying from him? He’s more expensive.” He answered, “I have a bracha with this vendor even though he’s at a higher price, I will sell it, whereas the other vendor, even though it’s a great deal, I’ll have a hard time moving it.”
          Getting back to Noach, the scripture mentions ‘Noach found favor in G-d’s eyes’; that he, and only he was to be the redeemer. Although his sons might have been tzadikim in their own right, it was Noach who had the power. It was he who had to toil and work for 120 years. All his efforts will penetrate the ark and make it the vehicle to the new frontier. Rav Chaim teaches us that the concept of influencing materials in this world is not just on a physical level but on a spiritual one as well. This gives credence to the idea of a “magic wand”!!!!
          The Torah hints through the scriptures that man had such an influence on nature during Noach’s time that the animals behaved in a degenerate way like humans. The animals were cross breeding with other animals similarly like man decadent lifestyle. For this reason the animals had to be destroyed along with mankind.

          Why man has such an influence on the world?

          G-d created the animals in one instant. In contrast mans creation was a process.
          Why the difference between the creation of the two?
          The first hour G-d thought about creating man; the second hour he asked the angels their opinion. We learn even though one thinks he’s the greatest, he should always ask advice. The third hour G-d gathered dirt from the four corners of the earth. The fourth hour He gathered all the materials together; The 5th hour He created the body; the 6th created a golem, a walking body; on the 7th, man was able to speak – He instilled a neshama-soul.
          The way G-d created man is the way man can manipulate and influence on the world. He can take an object, a chair, a table, or an animal, and gradually elevate it to spiritual heights. We see this concept performed daily by reciting a bracha on a certain food. The piece of food is then elevated by the recitation.
          The Zohar says we are movers and shakers; we are constantly increasing and decreasing spirituality around us. Unfortunatly the opposite holds true as well. We have the power to infuse the world with kedusha, and Tumah (evil) as well.

Road Rage

October 13, 2013 Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
          This past year, there were 1500 injuries and 400 serious injuries from road rage; some of which caused fatalities. It’s strange, but it seems like no one is immune to this increasing phenomena; even yours truly. I remember one morning last summer, while I was driving, a speeding vehicle buzzed past my car and the driver screamed, ‘Jew!!’ It was unexpected, so I jumped. Obviously, the driver’s intention was to purely shock and agitate me, and he accomplished his mission. What was surprising about the incident was my reaction. Instinctively, I was about to press on the acceleration pedal and ram my old jalopy 1996 Toyota Camry into him. Those brief moments were filled with all the emotions of startled surprise to rage. All I could think was “How dare you!!”. Seconds later, I came to my senses realizing I have a kippa on my head and I have to live up to a certain dignified standard. Also, why would I want this low-life in my life for any extended period; the few seconds that he was in view was enough. I hope with G-d’s help to never see him again. Lastly, I have a busy life as is, so I don’t need the headaches.
          But to think, the scariest and most disappointing notion is that for those few seconds, I was tempted to violently react in the most horrific way. I was going to use the car, a vehicle that has helped transport my family and I to many productive functions, as a weapon of destruction. For those brief moments, I was not in control. I can’t help but think that if the scenario was slightly different and he would have agitated me a bit longer or if I had a rough morning before, would I have acted on those initial impulses?

          What is it about driving that transforms mild-mannered, nice people into rash road-rage racers? I know many of these people. In real life, they are courteous, responsible and family oriented, I guess like myself! On the road they mutate into monsters. How? I think it has to do with the feeling of control. Take the wheel and you assume control. You direct and your car obeys. You choose the route, destination, travel time, speed and driving style. This is your journey. What you haven’t necessarily considered is that you don’t control the traffic volumes, the red lights, the drivers next to you or ahead of you. You actually control very little of the journey. When it doesn’t go as expected, you get upset, angry or even aggressive. And all because you thought you were in control. Interesting insight into life, this road rage is. Believe you’re in control and you’re bound to be frustrated; perhaps pseudo-control is the best description. Accept that there will always be variables outside of your control, and that your job is to know how to respond to them, and you will remain calm…and happy.

USE THE KIPPA AS A TOOL TO HELP ONE NOT TO OVER REACT OR……

          Understandably, a kippa, which I obviously wore at the road rage incident, is a tool. It reminds oneself about the pride of being a Jewish mench (odam) and the ability we possess for self-restrain. With it, we have to adhere to a higher standard of behavior. We won’t let our emotions get the better of us. After all, this is one of the primary lessons we learn in Yeshiva – control your mind over emotions. I know many who take off their kippa’s in order to not have to live up to those standards. They want to behave in a decadent way, at least for the evening night out. “I’m on vacation from being civil”.

          Although wearing a kippa brings out the best behavior in an individual, at times it can put us in a difficult predicament. Let’s take our example; when one wears a kippa and as a result is being singled out because of his “Jewishness”, does he fight back against anti-Semitism? What about protecting our pride and the pride of our people? Should we just be a bunch of wimps and not react?

          We asked Dr. Goldman, a Psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, on how he explains road rage. He says we first have to understand what makes us so defensive and tempted to react. The doctor explains that the anger reaction stems from pride; the ego has been hurt. We have to learn from King David. When David ran away, Shimi ben Gera insulted him and he did not react right away. David didn’t allow “road rage” to take the better of him. This is a person who was able to control himself while in the moment. He didn’t give an immediate irrational response. Apparently, it was very difficult for him to control himself, but, because he represented G-d, he did.

          Dr. Goldman said that one has to believe and say “I can take these insults. I’m okay. I’m not less of a person than I was before the insults.” It would be a sign of insecurity if one would let it get to him. Ah, but the kids are watching as I’m being insulted and I shouldn’t react? The good doctor says one should handle the insults with dignity, then the kids will respect you. You’re not a baby. Don’t let it bother you. If they see that you are not bothered and affected by those insults, they will respect you more. The notion of the ‘American cowboy’, to take care of him at the ‘OK coral’ is nonsense. One has to understand, one can lose everything in one moment. Is it worth it?

          We see control is something one has to master. Interestingly the kippa and the car, in our story, were two tools that could have been used to benefit us or to hurt us. It’s up to us how we use them; they can be weapons or peacekeeper; that depends on us.

          This is best illustrated by Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz famous discourse on parshat Noach titled ” Noach’s Arc”. Rav Chaim takes the concept of “the tools of life” to a different level.

Modern Day Zealot?

September 30, 2013 G-d and Us, Jewish Values No comments

Excerps from the teachings of Rabbi’s Jay Shapiro, Akiva Grunblatt, Yossi Bilus and Dr. Robert Goldman

 

The term “zealot”, in Hebrew kanai frequently used in plural form, (kana’im)), means one who is zealous on behalf of God. IS ZEALOT SOMETHING WE CAN RELATE TO TODAY? Is it possible that “zealot” can be applied to many aspects of our lives?

 

By creating a new minyan, for example, does that constitute being a new zealot?Are there valid reasons for establishing a new minyan? It all depends on the motives of the person. If he is doing it solely for the purpose of improving a problem then it is great. However, there can be underlying reasons, such as honor or reward, which can be a real issue. What are the criteria required for establishing a new minyan? Some considerations (not an exhaustive list) for why people might want a new Minyan:

1. Different style of reading or custom (perhaps very few people in the community pray this different custom at one time, but now more people with that custom have moved to the community).

2. Personal grievance (shared by the group).

3. Convenience (location and/or scheduling).

4. Too friendly (ie., too much talking).

5. Not friendly enough (ie, no socialization, even at permitted times or after prayer).

6. Personal preference (speed, speeches, announcements, Mi SheBerachs, etc.).

 

Are there hard and fast requirements for establishing a new Minyan? Guidelines? If a Minyan is established not in accordance with the requirements/guidelines, does this preclude someone from attending the Minyan, whatever his motivations might be?

 

It’s funny how people get inspired differently these days. Today there is a major Baal Teshuva movement on the rise. Jews who had little or no affiliation to Orthodox Judaism are embracing it through many avenues. Some have been influenced through the experience of spending Shabbat with a family. The Shabbat table is tailor-made to remedy a dysfunctional family. Some found Judaism through intellectual means. Some unfortunately, through their difficulties or problems they faced in life. I heard something profound by one such individual. “If G-d wants you to get close to him, he will try various ways for one to connect. He’ll even crush and squeeze you till there is no choice but to recognize him, which will force you to see the light and to embrace him”. In essence that person will be considered LUCKY!!

 

We say a few times in the 2nd blessing of the Amida (the silent prayer) ” the ALL MIGHTY revives the dead”. Why the repetition? There are some people who are spiritually dead and cannot be revived. In essence G-d is saying “AH leave him alone”. However, you!! I want you to come back. I’ll give you an opportunity. The fact that there are occurrences in our lives which can be construed as a sign, remind us that WE SHOULD GET UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! Everything that happens to us in life is from above and shows us that it is never too late to become more observant of G-d’s commandments. Ah, but I have a career. A family. A life. I don’t have time for such stuff. Well, there are plenty of fine Orthodox Jews who are juggling both career and a vibrant progressive and fulfilling Torah life, and are leading happy lives.

 

An individual confessed to me that when he finally realized G-d and was ready to change his life, he went to a private room and cried. He relayed that at that moment of realization he felt so close to G-d, he knew he found the truth. The special and lucky individuals who have become inspired are called Ba’alei Teshuva.

 

This weeks parsha we read how Pinchas was enraged with the actions of Zimri ben Salul, who challanged Moshe’s authority by taking a non-Jewish woman into the tent, in front of the entire nation to have an illicit relationship. Pinchas was so furious with the audacity of Zimri that after receiving permission from Moshe, he entered the tent and speared the two sinners to death. His brazen act of zealousness was praised by G-d and he was rewarded greatly.

 

Is there such a thing as being a zealot today? G-d says and I paraphrase “A place where a Baal Teshuva stands no one can stand in his place.” Meaning, he is special to G-d. After all, it’s a hard and brave step in life. However though, some problems may arise. The Baal Teshuva who is supercharged with enthusiasm can be over-zealous. He is so eager to do G-d’s will that he might look down at people that have not “seen the light” like he has. One falls into a trap that ” I’m holier then thou”. One of the most important ingredients in Judaism is strengthening character traits. Tolerance and patience is important, especially for people who have risen to greater heights. They are challenged not to look down at people below them but rather help them grow.

 

When Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai came out of the cave he was learning in, he saw a man wasting his time. With just one stare, this holy tzadik was able to kill the man since he could not tolerate his lackluster attitude. G-d said to him “go back to the cave you are not ready to live with people. Train yourself to be patient”. A lesson to learn from this is that don’t act on impulse. Think first and always ask advice from someone who is greater than you in Torah knowledge. Some people make the mistake of doing something l’shem Shamayim yet they don’t realize that they are simultaneously hurting others. Sometimes keeping one’s mouth shut is the best remedy, because if one gets involved then he can make the situation worse.

 

Being a zealot does not work very well in marriage. There’s an old expression; “A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. A real zealot is who has an unconditional love for Hashem and does His will with no ulterior motives. We cannot achieve such a high level in our day and age since there are underlying reasons why people do good deeds (such as honor, reward, etc.). Pinchas however, was able to achieve such a lofty level of holiness where everything he was doing was purely for the sake of G-d. This was Pinchas’s greatness that is still remembered till this day.

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