One should know and realize by looking at the tablets that half contain man’s relationship with G-d while the other half represents man’s relationship with his fellow man. If one examines it closely however, one will notice “honoring your father and your mother” is placed in the wrong column – on the side that represents man’s relationship with G-d. Clearly, as far as I’m concerned, parents are humans and they belong on the other side of the tablets. Perhaps the designer thought it would look awkward having six and four placed on the Aron Kodseh (place where you keep the Torahs). Five and five look much better and even; it gives more presence to the Synagogue, especially the fancy shmancy ones.
We read in Psalms, which was written by King David; (Sefardim read it daily while the Ashkenazim recite it the month before Rosh Hashanah). “My father and mother have left me but I still have you, G-d”. We can deduce from the Psalm that King David relied heavily on G-d. We can also detect David missing his parents. But that’s kind of odd; before he was anointed King, there was a concern that he might have been illegitimate. Yishai, his father, wasn’t sure David was his son. At best, they had a cold relationship. Although one may argue that any doubt about the legitimacy of Yishai being David’s father was put to rest after the Prophet Shmuel anointed David, and a loving father and son relationship developed. However, David was on the run, whether being chased by King Shaul or whatever wars he fought. Furthermore, David’s parents and brothers (except for one) were massacred by the Moabites. So as far as David’s relationship with his father, what’s there that he missed so much that triggered him to make such a statement?
Any one of the readers who have had the experience of taking care of elderly parents realized that as long as they were alive, one felt the parent was taking care of them even though the opposite was true. The son or daughter paid all the bills and they would escort them to their medical appointments because they would not be able to go by themselves. In fact, my father once said when a person becomes old he reverts back to being a child. Even so, apparently as soon as they pass on, the children feel abandoned; they have an uneasy feeling of losing that nurturing parent.
Belief and trusting G-d requires one to fully rely on Him. How does one develop that ability? This is accomplished by practicing the concept of “leaning on and trusting” through the parents. They are there so we can really on them. They fed and clothed us and took us to school when we were young; they taught us about life. The college tuition was paid and they let us borrow the car. We look up to them until a certain time where then they pass the baton to G-d and we rely on Him fully. It may take twenty years or forty, but it’s inevitable.
This is the reason “honoring parents” is on the same side of man/G-d relationship. G-d and parents are part and parcel in bringing out in us the feeling of trust and having being taken care of and that the ultimate and optimal feeling one has to have to G-d. |
The Ultimate Task of Parents
The Source for a Bar Mitzvah Celebration
The Avnei Nezer asks an interesting question. Who gets a bigger reward, one who studies Torah and doesn’t get enjoyment from the learning or one who learns and receives tremendous pleasure from it?
There are people who get such a high from learning. It’s definitely a nice feeling and at times I can testify about that tremendous feeling. One might think that the one who doesn’t get the enjoyment from studying Torah gets a greater reward. The reason is because it makes the obligation more difficult; he’s not enjoying it. However, the Avnai Nazer concludes that in fact the one who gets the pleasure gets the greater reward because that’s the proper way to learn.
Rabbi Baruch Dopelt, quoting the MARSHAL, asks, “Who gets a greater reward, one who is obligated to do a MITZVA-commandment or one who isn’t but does it anyway?
An example is given from the Talmud in tractate Kedushin. There is a discussion between Rav Yehuda and the Sages about if a blind man is obligated to do Torah commandments or not. Rav Yehuda says he’s not obligated, and if he does them anyway, they should have a celebration because of the difficulty due to his deficiencies. The Sages ask on Rav Yehuda and I paraphrase, “You mean to say that a person who is not obligated has a tougher time doing Gd commandments?! We say the opposite; a person who has an obligation has a far more difficult time doing the MITZVOT. The reason is that it’s human nature to say ‘I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. I’LL DO IT WHEN I’M GOOD AND READY!!’” The evil inclination plays with us. The more the obligation, the more the resistance and the more the mental TZA’AR-anguish. Therefore they conclude that it’s a lot tougher for one to fulfill the Mitzvot when he is commanded to do so.
In this week’s Parsha, we speak of a GER-convert. “We should not cause anguish to the stranger (convert)”. A GER, by the way, is one that has experienced the feelings both of obligation and no obligation to do MITZVOT. As a Jew, he is obligated do all the commandment; no excuses. When he’s about to convert, he does the MITZVAH without any pressure or responsibilities.
The Marshal concludes that if Rav Yehuda wanted to throw a party for one who is not obligated (a blind man), how much more so to a thirteen year old who is on the threshold of taking a tremendous step and accepting the responsibility to do the MITZVOT. THEY SHOULD THROW A HUGE PARTY!!! This is the source of a Bar Mitzvah celebration.
This Shabbat commemorates the 9th anniversary of my father’s passing. He orchestrated and led, with the help of Teddy Pinchasi and later Aharon Tzionov, Bar Mitzvot for Russian immigrants, who either could not afford it or because of not being proficient in Torah and tradition, did not deem it important. On three separate occasions, he would collect money and throw a big party at the main Bukharian Bet Hakneset in Forest Hills in honor of the Bar Mitzvah boys. The boys would get a chance to put on for the first time their new T’filin and to make the brachot.
As a child, my father escaped the Soviet Union with his Mother (my grandfather was too sick to travel) to Israel. He arrived at an age close to his Bar Mitzvah. It was difficult to adjust; still, they managed to survive. He never talked about his Bar Mitzvah. He didn’t need to. The actions he took by doing this big Mitzvah spoke for itself.
I once had the pleasure of meeting, many years later, one of the Bar Mitzvah boys. He was observant and Orthodox and with a beard. He said to me: “I used to come home every day from school and stare at the T’filin which I received as a gift and think of that special day. It left a lasting impression. Your father once came into the office where I worked and I was debating whether to walk over to him and tell him that I was one of those boys. However, I was too shy.”
It’s a shame he didn’t introduce himself, my father would have been proud.
Parshat Mishpatim
Introduction: One has to wonder why Parshas Mishpatim, which mainly talks about civil laws, follows the topic of the Mizbeach-the altar, which dis-cusses sacrifices to G-d. Is there some kind of connection?
One should know that there are many clues found in the Torah for us to discover, whether it be between the lines or under the lines.
Our sages here teach us a valuable lesson about the Torah’s judicial system. The two topics are actually part and parcel. The Torah is hinting that just like the intention of using the Mizbeach is to bring SHALOM between man and G-d and to be MEKAREV- bring man closer (KORBANOT-sacrifices, has the same root word) to HIM. So too the judges, who are not just there to find a person guilty or innocent, it is their responsibility to make SHALOM between the plaintiff and the defendant. It often occurs that both parties had some kind of relationship (in most cases, one has to like someone in order to do business with one another). One will lose the case and therefore have a certain animosity toward the winner. Nevertheless, it’s the responsibility of BET DIN- Jewish court of law, to try to bring the parties closer- to be MEKAREV and make peace among them.
In fact, the MIDRASH – Sages conveyed that G-d commanded Moshe to warn the Israelites that any dispute among them should be settled by Torah law (BET DIN) and not before a gentile court. It’s a grave sin to do so because it undermines the authority of the Torah and the whole concept of the court system’s purpose.
My father z”l would tell me that when he was working on 47th street, in the jewelry district, he acted a number of times, at both ends, as a person trying to resolve his business issue with another and as one of the three judges trying to settle a dispute. For the most part, in the jewelry industry, whenever there is a dispute among two Jewish parties, they would present the case to three SHOMER MITZVOT- observant Jews, and settle and make peace among themselves. The “judges” are chosen and agreed upon by the disputed parties. Peace is the primary objective of the Jewish court system. The Jewish people should be in unison. That’s what G-d loves.
First Portion: * The uniqueness of Judaism is that it’s not just a ritualistic religion. It incorporates many issues of everyday life into its repertoire. Few examples of this are: civil and Torah laws. So, if one is negligent with someone’s property who is religious, the Torah has Halachot for this just like it does for someone who is negligent with Shabbat and Kashrut matters.
* The wound is still fresh when one speaks about slavery to a Jew, even though it has been 3000 years since Mitzrayim. In fact, one good part of living in a democratic country like the United States is the freedom. Freedom of speech, for instance. Our civil rights laws are refreshing to say the least. One of the first cases in the Torah is in this week’s Parsha. It teaches us that if a Jewish man is forced into slavery because he was caught stealing, Bet din (the court) penalizes him by subjecting him to work for six years and is released in the seventh year. However, if the Jewish man likes his master and wants to remain a slave, then the master takes him to court where a ritual is performed. The slave places his ear by the doorpost where then his master pierces it. The ear and the doorpost are emphasized, because really, we are direct servants of G-d. However, this individual degraded himself by voluntarily becoming a servant of a servant. At Sinai, we heard the commandment of “do not steal”. However, this individual’s ear was not operating correctly at the time that we all witnessed the Sinai experience. Secondly, the door represents freedom, as the Jews were instructed to place the blood of the Pesach offering on it before they left Egypt. The pride and excitement of being freed and the receiving of the commandment, which we all heard, are being compromised by this individual as he is forfeiting his rights.
* If a man hits or curses his father or mother, he will incur the death penalty.
Second Portion: * The concept of “an eye for an eye” is introduced in this portion. If a man knocks someone’s eye out, should that individual be punished by taking out his eye? The Oral Torah informs us that the scripture should not be taken literally; rather monetary compensation should be imposed instead. A great emphasis should be placed on the value of an eye or any other body parts which were damaged. For example, if the victim uses his eyes for his livelihood, then the compensation should be greater.
* Man has a responsibility in a public domain and should be careful not to hurt others in any way. For example, if a man digs a hole in the middle of the street and another man is injured by it, compensation should be given, even though one can argue that the victim should have watched where he was going. Other factors which can determine the outcome of this case are whether it was at night where the pit was not noticeable, or the obstacle was found as the individual was turning the corner and was unavoidable. (Discussed in detail in the Talmud, tractate Baba Kama)
* If a man steals an ox, sheep, or a goat and slaughters it or sells it, he pays five cattle in place of the ox and four sheep in place of the sheep. The reason why he pays less for the sheep is because of the embarrassment the thief experiences while carrying the sheep, as opposed the ox where he is able to just pull it. What embarrassment has he incurred? The thief is not embarrassed; he’s even probably excited at the opportunity of grabbing the animal? We see that the thief subconsciously feels embarrassed and depressed for the crime. Man’s nature wants to do and create positive things.
Third Portion: * One of the subjects we discuss in this portion is if an individual is responsible when he is asked to watch an item for someone. There are some factors to consider, namely, was he asked to watch it for free or was he being compensated; was he authorized to use the item for personal use; did he ask to borrow it; did he rent the item; was the occurrence of the loss beyond his control. (This subject and all its details can be found in the Talmud, tractate Baba Metzia.)
* One of the ugliest aspects of human nature is when one takes advantage and abuses the weak and helpless. In this section, these topics are discussed. This ranges from the seduction of minors to one abusing in any way converts, orphans, widows and the poor. The Torah is emphatically stern about lending money with interest. One might think that a favor was done by lending the money and therefore therefor should be allowed to demand compensation through interest. G-d considers this taking advantage.
* If someone is found to be a witch, they shall be put to death. There is a mystical concept that there is an equal amount of spirituality and evil impurities in the world. Therefore, because of the weakening of Kedusha in today’s times, Samantha is not going to wiggle her nose any time soon. Although during the 1600s in Salem, Massachusetts they went a little too far in hunting witches;,the Torah is still very serious about the punishment of witches. The mystics teach us that the world is run through energies that G-d provides and it’s our job to transform them into positive forces. Unfortunately, some know how to manipulate these energies to satisfy their own impure ideas. Although manipulation of these energies cannot be the work of witches today, it can be done to an extent. By doing so, it produces negativity and prevents the redemption coming anytime soon.
Fourth Portion: * One must not curse G-d or the Judges. It is common for the loser to despise the deciding judges. Still, he must control himself. This is yet another method that can lead to an authority meltdown that one has to be aware of. In our democratic society, it is quite common to ridicule authorities figures. In fact, it’s a nightly ritual to do so on the networks late night talk shows. Although everything is done in jest, there is a lack of respect that’s developed because of this satire.
Fifth Portion: * One must not take a bribe. Rav Chaim Shmuelvitz Ztz”l states that a judge should be completely objective, to the extent that he cannot hear any testimony if the other party is not present.
* For six years, one should work the land and on the seventh year, the land should rest (not even fertilizing or loosening ground around a tree). This process is called Shmita.
* There are many places in the Torah where Shabbat is mentioned. I guess G-d is trying to convey a message; it’s important!!
* The Shalosh Regalim are mentioned. These three holidays are Pesach, Succot, and Shavuot. They are called “three legs” because three times a year the Jews would walk to the Temple.
Sixth Portion: * G-d reassures the Israelites that they will be protected.
Seventh Portion: * G-d reassures them further about entering the land of Israel. They should not be afraid of its inhabitants.
* The Israelites reassured G-d with their famous and impressive slogan “Na’aseh Ve’nishma” – we will do first, then we will hear. The phrase is an expression of the tremendous belief in G-d.
Why Do We Say Ben Zahar at the Brit?
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Living in the high energized Big Apple where there is so much to do in the course of the day we have to juggle a lot; therefore we have to allocate our time wisely. One meets many interesting people on the New York City subways (well not this past week because of Sandy). If I see a person on the subway who is somewhat knowledgeable in Torah, then I press him to say a good shmooze. Of course I too am more then happy to share something which I learned recently. Believe it or not, one can get some awesome Divrai Torahs. Such is the case many years ago with a nice guy and knowledgeable person by the name of Baruch. He told me a nice shmooze while standing on the F train and I would like to share it with you.
King Solomon (Shlomo) was considered the smartest man in the world. He had 1,000 wives. So you think us New Yorkers are busy. He was interested in marrying the Queen of Sheba. The queen was playing hard to get. She said to King Shlomo ” I’ll marry you under one condition – bring me all the birds in the world. Shlomo knew the languages of the animal kingdom so he dispatched a messenger to let all the birds know they should come. The Queen of Sheba counted all the birds and discovered one missing!! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING!! Now that’s one meticulous young lady!! Shlomo, with his connections found the missing bird and asked him. ” Why didn’t you come? He answered ” I was counting all the Jewish males and females in the world”. Shlomo was puzzled. “What do you mean, isn’t it a 50/50 breakdown? Believe it or not, your majesty the king, it’s 70/30 female” the bird said. ” Some of the males don’t act like males. They don’t do the requirements which males are supposed to do, like putting on tefillin, going to minyan etc. This is the reason we say at a brit (circumcision ceremony) – BEN- ZACHAR; ben means son, zachor means male. Ever wonder why we say the double language? Why not just say one or the other? Because the new baby boy should be a ben and act like a zachar. He should do what a zachar is supposed to do.
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Altering Life in the Blink of an Eye
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There are times when it seems that all one’s effort is for naught. No matter how much one tries, it just doesn’t go. It’s similar to when one puts their car in neutral and presses the gas. The vehicle doesn’t move. It doesn’t help if one presses on the accelerator with more force. Absolutely nothing helps. This is how many of us feel sometimes. Does this sound familiar?
Rav Henoch Liebowitz z’l teaches us something very inspirational in this week’s parsha. When the two angels came to Lot’s house revealing that the city and all its inhabitants would be destroyed, Lot informed his household that they would have to leave quickly. However his future son-in-law laughed at him. “How can this city be destroyed? The economy is bustling” the son-in-law said. “The kids are playing in the street and there’s not a cloud in the sky; it doesn’t seem like anything is going to happen”. Boy, was he surprised; he and the entire city were destroyed. Interestingly, even though he ridiculed Lot, the son- in-law was a believer of G-d. So why didn’t he comply? Rav Henoch says, human nature is such that one doesn’t believe change will take place. Everything will remain the same. This is what the son-in-law believed. Perhaps that’s why a person never is able to comprehend that he will die one day. It could happen to my friend but it can never happen to me.
Just like change took place in a blink of an eye for destructive purposes, so too one can believe that changes can occur in the blink of an eye for the good. One can be single for twenty years and one day he dates a girl and in a couple of months is engaged to be married. The same goes with having children – one may think life follows a script however the captain of the football team doesn’t always get the head cheerleader. Life takes funny bounces and sometimes for the good.
Rav Henoch is trying to teach us one never knows. In the blink of an eye our prayers can be answered.
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The Battle Of Life
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You’re the General and have just conquered strategic point in the battle against the enemy. There is now a new front and you are dispatching the forces towards the target area. There are places that the enemy have fortified and there are places where you, as the commander, have a strong hold Then there are the grey areas, the places where you’re not sure who’ll win.
Kosher food, well that’s your stronghold. With all the kosher supermarkets. fancy restaurants, and fast food whole-in-the-wall take-out places which are open till 2:00am you definitely have no problem keeping kosher. However the grey area, the battle of keeping the laws of family purity (nida laws), well that’s sometimes more difficult to keep. Never-the-less though, sometimes you and your wife feel spiritual and wait the two weeks and then are mikva bound. You and your wife realize it’s a fierce battle. Who will persevere?…..and the war continues. Who’ll win?
There is an awesome question asked by Rav Dessler. Avraham is known for his HACHNASAT ORCHIM hospitality and his nephew Lott’s claim to fame was that he didn’t spill the beans and disclosed, when Avraham, Sarah and himself, were in Egypt that Avraham and Sarah were not brother and sister but rather husband and wife. Interestingly Lott, living in a degenerate society, where kindness and hospitality are outlawed, went out on a limb for having guests. Lott put his life in danger having the two angels at his house while a lynch mob was waiting outside. He even offered his two daughters in order that his guest would not be harmed. For the most part his daughter inherited that character trait as well. She got killed doing a kindness with a passer-by. So it seems like Lott had a tougher time and more of a test to keep hospitality. Why wasn’t hospitality the famous virtue that Lott is known for?
The weakness Lott had was the desire for money. As a matter of fact, that is the reason why he chose Sedom as his residence after he and Avraham went there separate ways. Sedom’s economy was bustling and that attracted Lott to reside there event hough they were evil people.
When the three went down to Egypt Lot had a big opportunity to cash in by disclosing to Pharaoh about Sarah. Against all his desires he kept his mouth shut. That was his battle, his weakness, and he won.
Out of all the times Avraham did kindness, why does the incident with the angels stand out the most. All his life Avraham wanted to reach the height of spirituality. He examined the stars, the sun, anything that could have had a spiritual pulse. On the third day after his circumcision G-d , with all his glory, appeared to him. The ultimate spiritual quest finally arrived. This was the moment he was waiting for. Three men from afar, potential guests, arrived. Ever wonder why G-d had the three men come a few moments after he appeared to Avraham? This was Avraham’s test. This was the sacrifice that Avraham was faced with. The battle had sprung. What would Avraham choose?
He interrupted his meeting with G-d to attend to the guests. For this reason Avraham is known for his kindness and hospitality. He won the battle. |
Parshat Vayeira
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First Portion
* We would like to believe we are not the same people we were years ago. Everyone would state, they have matured, been educated and have learned from life’s experiences. This is the general attitude of humans. Well, I hope we have matured and become better people. It’s frustrating to see those that have not. In this weeks parsha our forefather Avraham’s status has been elevated. This is evident by the level of communication between G-d and Avraham. Its clear from the KAVOD that G-d has given Avraham by visiting that Avraham has evolved to a complete and upstanding individual. We learn some very important lessons from this section. First lesson we learn is visiting the sick, which G-d did by approaching Avraham after Avraham followed G-d’s commandment and circumcised himself. The one being afflicted is revitalized by the visit. Secondly, hospitality is of great importance; Avraham in great pain from his circumcision, still managed to accept guest with tremendous enthusiasm. We see the relationship between G-d and Avraham is now on a higher level because of the circumcision. When G-d revealed himself to the non-Jewish prophet Bilam many years later, Bilam’s immediate reaction, peculiarly, was of great embarrassment for not being circumcised. It seams like there’s a connection between high level of spirituality and circumcision. Rabbi Baruch Dopelt asks why do we say at a brit ” just like he (this boy) has entered a covenant with G-d today so too will he be able to enter the threshold of Torah and mitzvot”? Why don’t we say it when he’s born? After all a Jew is a Jew circumcised or not. The Mystics say by having the brit and its ceremony spiritual energies are infused into the boy. These are the tools necessary to be able to comprehend the Torah in a different realm.There are also thirteen times, in last weeks parsha Lech Lecha where G-d mentions his covenant with Avraham. This is to offset the thirteen attributes of G-d. The Thirteen attributes of G-d is mentioned on Yom Kippur and is a focal point in our quest for forgiveness. It can only be applied if the Jew is circumcised. Rabbi Pesach Krohn teaches us with the infused energy that the boy gets at the brit comes a name. A name defines the task that this boy will do in life. This is the reason Avraham’s name was changed the day he was circumcised.
* “Where is Sarah your wife?” Oh, she’s in the tent”. From here we learn an importance lesson pertaining to women “modesty is a virtue”.
* “How can we have kids my husband is so old” Sarah proclaimed. What about you Sarah, you’re no spring chicken either? Here we see an ongoing occurrence in human nature. It’s the spouse that’s blamed for everything. If only we can appreciate our spouse and realize their good qualities we would have better marriages
* An important lesson is learned about keeping peace between husband and a wife. G-d altered the truth when he approached Avraham about what Sarah said. He asked Avraham; ” why did Sarah laugh and say how can we have kids, I’m so old”. In saying Sarah is old as opposed to what Sarah actually said – “my husband’s old”, Avrahams feelings weren’t hurt and it preserved peace between the couple. One has permission to alter the truth to preserve peace.
Second portion
* What compelled G-d to destroy the city of Sedom and Amora was an incident pertaining to one of Lott’s daughters. She once performed kindness and gave food to an old passer-by. Kindness, it seems, is against the law in Sedom. As punishment they hung her on a tree and spread honey all over her body and watched how she was tortured as the bees bit her to death. Her cries was the last straw that broke the camel’s back and propelled the all mighty to issue a death warrant to the entire city with the exception of Lot and his family.
Third Portion
* Although Lot had tremendous hospitality, a trait he learned from his uncle Avraham, never-the-less the fact that he offered his daughters as compensation not to harm his guest raises some eye brows
Fourth Portion
* Rabbi Moshe Feinstein relates a story when he was a young man about a colleague, who in one of his powerful sermons blamed Lot’s daughter for the despicable and immoral act of sleeping with their father. Add insult to injury one daughter named their offspring after the sin MO-AV, from the father. A while later Rav Moshe was informed that his friend is very ill. Upon visiting his friend, Rav Moshe was performing the commandment of visiting the sick, he sees that his friend’s throat is tremendously infected and can barely speak. ” Rav Moshe” the colleague said ” I know why I’m being punished. I had a dream shortly after one of my sermons. I was lying in bed and see two elderly woman standing besides me. It was Lott’s daughters. With a stern and angry tone of voice they accused me of slandering their name. They claimed they did the act out of complete sincerity and self sacrifice to preserve man-kind, figuring that civilization had been destroyed again. ” Instead of praising us you unfairly turned our deed and intentions into a sin, therefore you will pay with your life with punishment to your vocal cords”. Soon after Rav Moshe’s friend passed away. We learn never Judge anybody unless you’re in their shoes.
* Once again Avraham and Sarah marriage and morals are tested when Sarah was taken forcefully and brought to Avimelech the king of the Pilishtim. Avimelech intended on keeping Sarah for himself despite knowing that she might be Avraham’s wife. Although that information wasn’t clear. It didn’t require a rocket scientist to figure that Avraham and Sarah were more than a brother and sister.
* Because of Avraham and Sarah passing the test of the Avimelech incident (she had the opportunity to be Queen, and acqiure tremendous riches). However she chose loyalty to her husband. G-d said you preserved the test with the reproductive organ so I will reward you with a child through the reproductive organ. G-d rewarded them with their own child.
Fifth Portion
* It seemed Sarah was on a higher level then Avraham. Yishmael, who was Hagar the maid servant’s son (she had him with Avraham), was a bad influence on Yitzchak ( Avraham and Sarah son and the heir apparent to the Jewish nation). She demanded that Avraham send Hagar and her son Yishmael away. Avraham was faced with a difficult decision. What to do? Naturally he turned to G-d who advised him listen to your wife Sarah, ‘She knows”. We learn here the importance of maintaining the right environment for your children and yourself.
Kids tend to be very impressionable so one has to surround them with the right school, nice neighborhood and proper role models at home.
Sixth Portion
*Avraham and Avimelech make a treaty after Yitzchak was born.. As long as the descendants of Avimelech dwell on the land, no descendants of Avraham will wage war against them. This covenant was the reason later why Israel couldn’t capture Eastern part of Jerusalem. Avraham called the western part Yeru- to see G-d (holy place). Shalem, the eastern part was originally inherited by Noach’s son Shem. The name Shalem comes from Shem. In Yehoshua’s time the Philishtim lived in the Shalem, the eastern part. Although Yehoshua, the leader of the Israelites, conquered the western part, in honor of the treaty the Israelites refrained from entering the Eastern part. It wasn’t until the last descendant of Avimelech died after the time of Yehoshua did the children of Judeah took it.
Seventh portion
* The pride and Joy of the Jewish nation, the incident of the AKEDA which is so beloved by G-d. This is the primary weapon we use on Rosh Hashana to ask G-d for mercy and forgiveness
* The narrative prepares us for the next stage of life describing the future wife of Yitzchak, Rivka’s heritage.
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Do We Really Understand Our Constitutional Rights?
New York in the 21st century should be more advanced than the 20th century, don’t you think? It’s disappointing and not to say, down right inconvenient of the instillation of the new municipal meters. Basically, it’s the new contraption that the City installed where one puts quarters in a slot and receives a slip with the date and time of expiration; one then places the slip on their dashboard.
When I left my job in midtown Manhattan, which required taking the subway as the main form of transportation, and began driving to work to my new job, I realized I would have to be more diligent and careful to the traffic laws (parking tickets in particular). This was very new to me; it’s hard enough to find a spot in crowded Queens, but to always have a supply of quarters was a new task that one has to remember. But the installation, these past few years, of these municipal meters, in which one has to walk, at times, a half a block to find them, and then return again back to the car where one has to open the vehicle a second time and then place it on the dashboard, is very time consuming. A simple quick task in going to the store is discouraged because this new system is very time consuming. It doesn’t pay to do quickies.
‘It is what it is’, a defeatist attitude individual proclaimed. ‘No!’ I retorted, ‘we can’t have our quality of life diminished like that. One should speak out and complain to the local district politicians. ‘Nah, you’re not going to get anywhere, you’re wasting your time’ he countered back.
It says in the Gemarah, a Jew living outside of Israel is obligated to follow the laws of his host country, ‘dina de-malchuta dina’ – the law of the land is the law. This means, if one violates the law of the land, then he violates the Torah. So if this were the law in which we Jews have to follow, it would have to be made comfortable to follow (temporarily, until we are able to return to our homeland, Israel).
Thank G-d, we live in a country, which gives people many rights (Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Religion, to name a few.) As an American, we have to exercise our rights. This great country is kind to the Jews, and has been constructed in such a way to provide and help us with many benefits. But I think one of the crucial benefits that it provides to their citizens is the ability to change laws. Laws are made by the people whom we the people elected.
In the past, the turn of the 20th century, the Jews were instrumental in instituting the 40-hour workweek, abolishing the horrendous sweatshops. This made the working conditions better and safer. Jews also benefited by the new law because now they’re able to keep Shabbat without any hassles. A number of years ago, Sheldon Silver, a Jewish New York politician, was instrumental in allowing Hatzolah volunteer Jewish ambulance corp. to operate even though there was much opposition. Do you know how many Jewish lives were saved through Hatzolah?
When a politician visits a community (his district where he wants to get elected), the people voice their needs, where he then tries to accommodate the voters and if need be, tries to change the laws. This is a tremendous benefit we have in this democratic country.
We are obligated by the Torah to be fine, upstanding citizens, and as citizens we have to utilize what this country stands for, ‘For the People’, to make us better, more efficient (parking solution), and constructive. We should also utilize these rights to make us – let’s not forget – the primary goal, of being better Jews. |
Peace & Harmony
In this week’s parsha, we learn a very valuable lesson on how to maintain peace and harmony among married couples. Both G-d and the angels give us a mind- boggling crash course.
We find the three angels coming to Abraham with a number of tasks, one of which is to tell Sarah that she will have a baby. The angels made a point of inquiring about Sarah, ‘Where is your wife, Sarah?’ so as to endear her to her husband’ (Bava Metzia 87a). The question that the angels asked, set up a response by Abraham (she’s in the tent) and through those words that he uttered, made him realize the exceptional modesty his wife possessed. Therefore, she would become even dearer to him.
We find something interesting in the Gemara in Ketubot in which we see that it is permissible to lie to a groom and tell him ‘your wife is such a beautiful Kallah (bride)’, even though she’s not. But for the sake of endearing the wife in the groom’s eyes, a little white lie is permissible. Commentaries on this Gemarah extend this idea. For example, if one purchases an item, lets say a tie, and you meet him for coffee, even though the tie is not nice, one should lie in order not to make him feel bad; (If there is no refund policy.)
Furthermore in the parsha, we find Sarah could not believe the good news of her upcoming pregnancy. But she had an interesting response about her husband, ‘How can we have kids? My master is old’. But G-d misquoted her to Abraham, saying only about her ‘I have aged’ (not mentioning Abraham). G-d lied for the sake of shalom (peace), so that her words should not offend Abraham. This, despite the fact that Abraham was indeed old (he was 99) and would certainly have realized that she had no ill intentions when she had said it. Yet to avoid that tiniest possibility of friction, to refrain from diminishing somewhat the peace and harmony (shalom bayit), G-d altered her words.
The master of creating peace and harmony was Aharon (Moshe’s brother). He would fabricate a story and tell Joe, who is fighting with Jack, that Jack has tremendous regret about the disagreement between the two of you and is devastated by losing such a wonderful friend; then he would go to Jack and similarly fabricate a story that Joe feels the same way. This is how he would successfully bring Jack and Joe together. Each one thinks the other is caring and wants to make up.
Dr. Goldman, the Psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, once was in the crossroad between a major feud of two individuals. Both claimed the rights to Dr. Goldman’s seat in the study hall. On Shabbat, the good doctor stayed home in Kew Gardens, therefore the seat is vacant. Remembering the famous Medrash (commentary) of Aharon, the good doctor said, ‘let me try it’. He proceeded to tell one of the fellows that the other is ashamed and regrets that it has escalated to such an extent and is willing to give up the silly spot. He then, similarly fabricated the same story to the other. So I asked him what happened. Dr. Goldman answered back ‘it worked!’ ‘So who sits there now?’ I asked. ‘It’s vacant’! He responded, ‘out of respect to each other’.
Aharon was especially successful with married couples. People in general have tremendous sensitivities and get hurt too quickly, especially couples. One has to be super sensitive to his or her spouse. In this highly pressurized society that we live in, it’s easy to get busy and ignore the other’s needs. We therefore have to make an effort to spend quality time with the ones we love.We learn how careful one must be when speaking about one spouse to the other. If one promotes bad feelings, it’s a terrible sin.
The discovery in this week’s parsha that even G-d would lie to preserve the peace between a couple, should make us realize the importance of the matter. |
The Act of Kindness Goes a Long Way
This week in the portion of the Torah we’re introduced to Abraham, the first Father of Judaism. He’s known to have many virtues, one of which is kindness. To commemorate Abraham’s ability to enhance and popularize the trait of kindness, a story must be told about a few of his descendants. One would think Abraham, our Father, would be proud of them.
Rabbi Joel was coming back from a conference in New Jersey where he figured he’d stop at the cemetery to visit the grave of his father, since it’s conveniently on the way. As he was saying tehilim at the grave site, he notices a family burying their loved one, not far away from his father’s grave. It didn’t seem they were observant and were having a hard time with some of the rituals.
After Rabbi Joel finished saying tehilim, he walked over to the family and said ‘Can I offer you my help, I’m a Rabbi”. After getting a nod of approval, he immediately helped with the rituals and then gathered ten Men and asked the sons of the deceased to say kaddish. Unfortunately, they seemed disinterested with saying the prayer that is said for the deceased and gave him permission to finish off the ceremony himself. Rabbi Joel proceeded to say kaddish and finished the necessary customs of burying the dead. On the way back on the Belt Parkway, he felt a tremendous uplifting feeling having helped out a perfect stranger getting buried properly according to Jewish law. Through the ride back, he couldn’t stop to think about the name of the deceased, ‘Sam Rosenberg’.
That evening as Rabbi Joel was curiously looking up Sam Rosenberg’s name on the internet for any information, he gets a call from his Rabbi. After some casual greetings, he decides to tell his Rabbi the act of kindness he did earlier that day. ‘I can’t seem to find out anything about Sam Rosenberg from Staten Island’ Rabbi Joel said in frustration. ‘What’s his name?’ his Rabbi asked. ‘Sam Rosenberg from Staten Island, why do you know him?’ Let me tell you about Sam Rosenberg from Staten Island. Thirty five years ago, I was a young rabbi convincing parents from a secular background to place their child in Yeshiva. The parents half heartedly agreed as long as it was free. I was handed a list of rich-well-to-do businessmen whom might be gracious enough to help. After a few hours, I called Sam Rosenberg who’s name was half way down the list. I began to go through my pitch on how important it is to give these boys a Jewish education and we need people who can commit long term for their studies. I told him, I have five boys that need the financial help. He said to me ‘I can only finance one; THAT ONE WAS YOU!
There is an old expression, ‘What goes around, comes around’. Be aware, Baruch Hashem, kindness is contagious.
Taken by the lectures of Rabbi Issac Olbaum
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