Avoiding Another Tragedy

August 7, 2013 Responsibility, Sensitivity To Others No comments

 

    

 

The new generation didn’t understand their elders; sounds familiar doesn’t it? The young were sick and tired of Rome, the occupiers, lording over them. The new blood developed a backbone; the cast of characters consisted of hotheads, Mafioso, zealots, and a few Rabbis. But in hindsight, it was very dangerous to be Mr. Macho Maccabee; it was the wrong time.  Hillel, the great sage, warned the Jews to keep a low profile and let sleeping dogs lie. However, the Jews were divided into bitter rival factions and the friction between them was heard all the way in Rome. Each group portrayed the other as disloyal to the Roman Empire. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the Kamtza-Bar-Kamtza story. One of them received an invitation mistakenly meant for the other. So he came to the party thinking the host wants to reconcile their differences. When he arrived, the host was shocked to see him and ordered his butlers to kick him out. Trying to reason with the host was futile; he even offered to pay for half the party as long as he wouldn’t embarrass him so people shouldn’t see him being thrown out. The Rabbis attending, unfortunately, didn’t intervene. This was a tremendous mistake and a lesson to be learned, to save your fellow from uncomfortable situations.  After being embarrassed by being kicked out, he went to the Roman authorities the next day with a vicious scream, where disloyalty was very apparent, against the Empire. The Romans had enough and the war began. Do we fight them or do we lay low? Every faction had their opinion – who was right? A bitter divide was apparent in the midst of our people.

 

Three wealthy Jews supplied grains to the brethren in the walled city of Jerusalem that would have lasted for twenty years. One of the bravado groups insisted that the whole nation fight even though there were sufficient numbers that were against such action. They forced their hand by destroying all the grain. “Ah ha, now you have to fight.” We, unfortunately know the disastrous result.

 

Not getting along and hatred was obviously the main reason of the destruction of the temple. I would like to bring out  another valuable lesson from this tragic time.

 

A good number of years ago, a kashrut organization in collaboration with a mashgiach was certifying a restaurant kosher. The Mashgiach had various stores and restaurants under him. The Mashgiach, though, was a cocky guy;  he had the “I know how to perform my job. I’m the best in the business,” attitude. The head of the kashrut organization was a no-nonsense, impatient, short-fused type. Both, though, were very sincere law-abiding religious pious Jews. The Mashgiach’s job was to report weekly to the kashrut organization. Although it’s a formal tedious procedure, however, the by-the-books kashrut chief expected it. However, the mashgiach didn’t follow the kashrut protocol and guidelines. The head of the kashrut organization would call him periodically for reports, but the Mashgiach didn’t comply. He didn’t even bother to relay the message, “I’m handling the situation, you’re in good hands. You have to assume I’m in the control booth; it’ll be okay”. The head chief was livid that the report was not on his desk or on his answering machine. “There must be something wrong. He’s either hiding something or not doing his job,” proclaimed the chief. He then removed the kashrut certificate from the restaurant claiming non-compliant; something was fishy.

 

Is there anything wrong with their behavior? Should he have filled out the silly report once a week?  “Yes!” Should the kashrut chairman have a little bit more tolerance? “Yes.”  All this is emet. However, there is another important factor and that is to realize and be aware of the ramification of their actions.  The innocent store owner lost his certification, lost clientele after bouncing around from one fly by night hashgacha to another, and eventually lost his business.

 

Perhaps this is what the Jews in the Temple times were also guilty of. They didn’t foresee what their actions will bring; what the ramifications of their decisions would be. Was anybody thinking what would happen if they lost the war? What justification do they have to destroy the grain? This would have tired out the enemy for they would have to wait a very long time outside the fortress.

 

Seeing beyond the surface is vital for everyday life. When your wife or husband does or says something to hurt you, first, one should ask themselves “Did I do something to trigger her reaction?” If your kids starts to fight with each other or have a temper tantrum, the possibility exists maybe they’re hungry. One cannot react right away. If someone talks bad about you, one has to think first and ask is it a good idea to retaliate? What would be the ramifications if I do? Think of all the considerations before you react. One must think of the bigger picture of what might happen; what it would cause. We should try to see the other side. If we are able to see the consequences, we will avoid a lot of headaches in our lives and the lives of others.

 

The Art of Rebuke

August 7, 2013 The Gift of Speech No comments

 

   

 

What is the best method to criticize and get good results in return, from loved ones, friends, employees, or subordinates? How about this; “HEY, IDIOT YOU BLEW IT, MY FIVE YEAR OLD COULD HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB!!! How do you think that will work? I know many who use that approach. Or, how about the old famous rebuke “I told you so”, That always makes a person feel good about himself. Now, which one is best suited for your style? Pick your poison.

 

 

Generally speaking, we don’t take criticism very well and truth be told only few methods are effective.

 

Rav Henoch Leibowitz z”tl, brings a beautiful example of an effective rebuke. Miriam and Aharon, who were the brother and sister of Moshe, the leader of the Jews, were discussing how Moshe was not spending enough time with his wife. “He’s too busy working late in the office”. This constitutes speaking Lashon Harah – speaking bad about someone. G-d then rebukes them.  However, listen to the kind of language He uses when he approached them “Listen, please, to my words.” WOW, PLEASE!! What’s this “please” business? Although G-d was angry for speaking lashon harah on Moshe, however, He used nice pleasant words in rebuke. If G-d would have been tough, He would not have been heard. One can argue if it was a more harsher tone, they would have felt the severity of the sin. However, by nature, man doesn’t like to be rebuked and if it’s in an angry tone, he would shut it out even more. A person would automatically develop a defense mechanism and not comprehend the full value of the rebuke. This is especially true if the poor guy is being screamed at. He will not comprehend anything from the criticism. This goes against the goal of what was intended of the rebuke; the idea is to get the message across.

 

It’s also recommended to give an example.We find Natan, the prophet, giving an example to King David after David hastily and conveniently sent Batsheva’s husband, Uri Hachiti, to the front battle. Natan figured out David’s true intentions. A little while later, he was killed in battle. Natan asked David, “If a rich man stole a cow from a poor man, what would you do your majesty?” “The rich man should be punished.”, David replied. “That’s you, your highness, you’re the rich man”. Natan said it in such a way that David was able to accept fault. He didn’t realize until Natan’s example to what extent his crime was.

 

We have to know how sensitive a person is before we criticize. An example is Reuben and his father Yaacov. Yaacov had four wives; imagine getting rebuked not by one, but four wives. KOL HAKAVOD. After Rachel died, Yaacov transferred his primary bed to Bilah’s tent instead of his mother, Leah’s. Reuben felt his mother’s honor would be hurt so he moved the bed to his mother’s tent. It was a lack of respect on his part to play marriage counselor. Although Yaacov did not approve, he didn’t say a word until he was on his death bed. Yaacov rationalized Reuben was so sensitive that he would totally lose it and may even join his (Yaacov) wicked brother, Eisav.

 

Sometimes rebuke is just stating the facts. We find when Yosef revealed to his brothers, his true identity “I am you brother, Yosef”. That line, itself, was the most devastating rebuke one can give. The brothers realized at that moment their whole philosophy, their way of thinking, all these years was wrong. Yosef’s dream, for the most part, came true; they were shocked, confused, and devastated.

 

The Sages say the last rebuke is what we all are going to go through after 120. When we enter the Olam ha’emet, the heavens, where there is no false. The truth will be disclosed and we’ll be standing there staring at the truth and nothing but the truth, and feeling humiliated. This is considered the ultimate rebuke.

 

Comfort Me

August 6, 2013 G-d and Us, Mourning, Responsibility No comments
   

 

 

 

The Haftorah uses a strange language for comforting the Jewish people after the destruction of the Temple. It says nachamu nachamu – comfort; it should have said hit-nachamu – be comforted. Rabbi Baruch Dopelt, quoting his sources, says first of all it seems like it’s not just the Jewish people that the comfort is addressed to. We derive that also from the double repeat of nachamu. Who is the phantom second nachamu referring to?

 

 

The Sages teach us the phantom second comfort is referring to G-d. He promised that He will always be in our midst whether thick or thin, whether to share our joy or our pain; therefore He is with us in our time of despair and being comforted as well.

 

 

When one loses a loved one, he says the very important prayer “kaddish”. The purpose of the kaddish is to exalt the name of G-d; to bring his name out in the world, and every time we do so, our deceased loved one’s soul is raised in the heavens. It’s interesting to note that in the kaddish, there is that word again ve-nechamat – and comfort. Apparently, we are also comforting G-d in this prayer of praise of kaddish. It seems like He is also being comforted for the loss of our loved one.

 

 

Rabbi Gedalya Schorr explains that this world is like one big symphony and everyone is here to play his own unique instrument that only he can. Rabbi Dopelt says every one of us came into this world on a mission to praise G-d and no one can do our mission but ourselves. When one passes away, although his mission is complete, however his departure leaves a void in the symphony; it’s a loss of praise. Therefore, G-d is grieving with us at the loss of life.

 

One should always know that we are not alone whether in time of joy, and especially in a time of sorrow; G-d is always with us.

 

American Classic

August 6, 2013 Achdut- Unity, Happiness No comments

 

 

 

There are certain events in history, that if one is a part of it, he would be defined as privileged. An example would be, if one is part of a home crowd where their team is playing the seventh and deciding game of the World Series. At the last at bat where the bases are loaded with two outs and in dramatic fashion, the home team batter hits a grand slam homerun. What a dream it is to be a part of the moment in the stadium with thousands who are watching this great classic, epic event. Such is the case, last week at the twelfth Siyum Hashas, where 90,000 plus, Orthodox Jews attended to celebrate finishing the seven year cycle of the Talmud. Although, not wild like what was just described, the crowd a bit more subdued, tamed, and a lot more dignified, but you can tell that everybody there had this inner simcha – happiness that was so gratifying.

 

 

Besides the proud accomplishment of finishing the cycle, Jews and American Jews, especially, should be proud of the incredible, well-organized and well-orchestrated display of speakers, video presentations, musicians, cantors and choirs. They brought the best in the business to the grand stage of the biggest crowd, in the history of a Jewish religious sit-down, with your potato chips and $3.50 bottled water, event. This was an awesome display of modern technology and Torah, where you had four jumbo size big screens at the four corners of the stadium and the acoustics were amazing.

Rabbi Yissachar Frand, who is one of the top gun American speakers in the Jewish circuit, spoke very well. It was an American style speech, getting the large crowd to clap with enthusiasm every so often similar to the classic American orators that we see so frequent on television. It reminded me of those Republican/Democratic conventions or State of the Union addresses style that the Americans have always been able to orchestrate so well. Once again, Jews have mimicked their host country. I believe it’s a very positive mimic. The American Jews made an event that was impressive with class in a breathtaking big way on a grand scale like no other. I’ve often mentioned my multi-cultural background, though ironically, I feel it’s hard to connect to any particular group. It’s sad that you cannot call anything home; however, because of my familiarity, I’m able to appreciate fully a culture very fine points, since I often bounce around from flag to flag. Those of you who were born in America or grew up here will understand where I’m coming from and realize and understand the American Jewish pride was brought out in this enormous event.

 

 

It’s a shame many of our brethren  did not attend, they would have seen Orthodoxy at its best – to observe what’s in our heart and what we are proud of in a pageantry way.  Sometimes words cannot do justice to what’s in the heart; however, an event like this speaks for itself.

An example of what I mean, it was the sixth game of the famous 1986 Word Series where the New York Mets won in dramatic fashion. The announcer, Vince Scully, said words cannot describe what just transpired and he let the camera roll for about five minutes without a word spoken. Similarly, this event “you had to be there”; no YouTube or television would do it justice. I regret not bringing loved ones and friends. I just hope in seven and a half years from now, the next Siyum Hashas, I will have the opportunity, G-d willing, to bring those loved ones and friends and not say a word; just let the breathtaking event speak for itself.

Tidbits on Parshat Eikev

August 6, 2013 The Gift of Speech No comments
   

 

As we discussed in the highlights section of this newsletter, the second passage in the Shema, Ve’haya im sha’moa, which is one of the most famous prayers, is found in this week’s Parsha. It is written here, that these words should be recited twice daily. It emphasizes one should take upon himself the acceptance of G-d’s commandments. Generally, this section, as opposed to the previous section, G-d promises supernatural rewards (rain and prosperity) for fulfillment of the Mitzvot, and punishment (drought and exile) for their abandonment, is written in plural form. It’s implying that the reward and punishment are conferred only in response of the majority.

 

Interesting to note, the Gemarah in Brachot 15:b, derives from the word ve’limaditem –  and you should teach them – which implies that your studies shall be pure – that one must pause between those words that tend to be attached. My grandfather, who was a chazzan, would emphasize to me, to be clear and look up when you talk. Here the Gemarah implies that we should enunciate the words flawlessly. Indeed, we find in many of the siddurim, one of which, here, is Sharai Tsion, where there are warning signs where one could err. If one notices in the picture, some words where it could be problematic, there is an asterisk on an ending letter of a word and one at the beginning letter of the next words. Implying, one should stop and be careful in the pronunciation and not crunch them together. Many are careful in reciting the Shema.

 
In the verse (10:12), “What does your G-d ask of you,” “what” in Hebrew is pronounced ‘ma’. Ma is also defined as a hundred. So it could be read “A hundred is what G-d asks of you.” The verse alludes to a Rabbinical ordinance requiring each Jew to recite a hundred brachot daily. This ruling was instituted due to the following events:          In King David’s time, G-d caused a plague which tragically took the lives of 100 Jews each day. Searching for the reason of this punishment, David perceived through prophesy that the Jews failed to bless G-d sufficiently for His daily kindness to them. David, therefore, decreed that every Jew recite 100 blessings daily. The plague then stopped.

 
It’s a bit difficult to achieve this daily. A few helpful tips is the brachot we say first thing in the morning (about 15) and the Amida – silent prayer – both in silent and the repetition (about 38).

 

The Intensity of Prayer

August 4, 2013 Tefilla/ Prayer No comments
   The great Avraham, our forefather, was extremely charismatic and one whose kindness to others was widely known. He was labeled G-d’s servant. He had a son, Yitzchak, who, like his father, had a very hard time having kids. The Torah describes Yitzchak praying in one corner and his wife Rivka praying in the other corner. We read in the Torah “G-d answered him”. Rashi, who is one of the main commentaries on the Torah, asks why was Yitzchak’s prayers answered over Rivka’s? He answers, Yitzchak is a tzadik the son of a tzadik while Rivka is a tzadaket the daughter of a rasha.

The Taz, who was one of the leading lawmakers, concludes from the above passage that if there are two people who want to go up to the bima to be a chazzan, (one who leads the prayer), one comes from a good family background, while the other fellow comes from a not-so-good family background. Even though they are both shomer mitzvot, religious (Shabbat observant), equal in good character, nevertheless because the father of one of them is non-observant, the tzadik ben tzadik is picked. This is the understanding we derive from Rashi.

“However”, the Taz continues “I don’t hold that way. We know, it’s common knowledge.” A person who is a Ba’al Teshuva – a person who becomes observant (keeping Shabbat, Kosher, etc.) is on a higher level than the FFB – frum (religious) from birth. The reason is because it’s harder for him to keep Shabbat and not turn on the lights or turn on the TV and watch a ballgame because he’s accustomed to it. It’s probably difficult to give up the non-kosher food, as well. To break away from those pleasures takes a lot of courage. G-d is well aware of the challenges the BT has and is overcoming . He therefore, puts him and his prayers above the rest. For a FFB, to turn on the TV on Shabbat is not even on the radar gun. He was trained since childhood not to turn on the lights on Shabbat.

 

This argument is divided among the Sages throughout the generations.

 

Let’s examine briefly the power of prayer:

 

There was a study taken and published in the New York Times a number of years ago, that people who pray regularly are less likely to get depressed. They are more motivated to do everyday life activities; they’re psychologically uplifted. So it seems like prayer is a tool to increase energy. Does prayer really work? Can it change destiny?

 

We see from the most important part of our history that prayer had an enormous impact. We were slaves in Egypt and destined to be there for four hundred years. “G-d heard their moaning.” As a result of hearing their prayer, their anguish, G-d let them out after only 210 years.

 

What happens when one prays for a sick person and he dies?

 

The hardest thing for a human to realize is that the last word is G-d’s. It’s His world, not ours.

 

The Chovot Halevavot says the very act of prayer elevates and transforms us where we are no longer the same individual we were before. So if there is a heavenly decree against a person, it could very well be annulled through prayer. Since he has been transformed through prayer, he is no longer the same person against whom the original decree has been issued. This is what Moshe tried to do in this week’s Parsha; however again, the last word is G-d’s.

 

Rabbi Bunim was once asked, how can a person who does not wear Tefillin, desecrates the Shabbat, and eats non-kosher, be wealthy, and generally successful? He answered, this is the curse of the snake who is cursed more than all the cattle and beast. “On your stomach, you shall go and eat dust all the days of your life.” We know dust is not tasty, but plentiful; it’s always accessible. Seemingly, G-d blessed the snake and did not curse him. However, a human has to work by the sweat of his brow and have childbirth pains; now that’s punishment.

 

The predicament means it forces him to pray, bond, and get close to G-d. In fact, it’s a big sin when man is in a crisis and doesn’t pray to his maker. The snake, who is provided all its necessities, has no connection with G-d and does not need to communicate. This is the biggest curse anyone can receive.

 

After agreeing to marry Yitzchak, and as she was being escorted to the house of Avraham, the scripture says “She saw Yitzchak for the very first time and she fell off the camel.” Rashi commented he was praying Mincha. R’ Eli Mansour quotes the Netziv of Veloshin who says, “She was awed at the intensity of him praying.” From that moment on, she developed a fear of  her husband, Yitzchak, that remained for the rest of her life. A fear that stemmed from the intensity of prayer; that through this prayer they got their children, Yaacov and Eisav.

 

So perhaps, it’s not the background of a person – but the individual – who can make a difference.
Shiurim by Rabbi Oelbaum

A Simple Act of Kindness

August 4, 2013 Chessed/ Acts of Kindness No comments
 wedding

           We have finished the three weeks of national mourning concluding with Tisha B’av. We only hope during that dark period, our brethren, including yours truly, have done some soul searching and have learned from the countless and precious videos of the inspirational speakers that were shown on that fast day through out the world, how to deal with people and are ready to face (with a smile) the challenges of dealing, tolerating and helping our fellow Jew.

Over the years I have encountered many, and I mean many, good people including strangers who were willing to give a helping hand to a fellow Yid. I have countless personal stories of kindness but none more heart warming then something I read by Rabbi Paysach Krohn ‘ A Dance for the Ages’, from his book ‘In the Footsteps of the Maggid’ (Mesorah Publishing). Rabbi Krohn who happens to be one of the leading inspirational speakers has compiled some of his stories in this one of many books. This story has really touched me; therefore I would love to share it with you.

 

 

‘A Dance for the Ages’

 

This following story is one of the most remarkable I have ever hear. It was told to me by one of the central characters in the episode, my uncle, Rabbi Yehuda Ackerman, a Stoliner chassid now living in the city of Bnei Brak, Israel. The love and concern for a fellow Jew portrayed here are so genuinely touching that the story inspires all who hear it.

 

A number of years ago a wealthy in individual came to Israel with his family for a few weeks’ vacation. He was just staying in the famous Central Hotel on Rechov Pines in Jerusalem, and that is where he had most of his meals.

 

One Friday night, after the seudas Shabbos, the gentlemen was strolling back and forth outside the hotel where he noticed two chassidic boys rushing somewhere. “Where are you boys off to?” he asked, as they sped by.

 

“We’re on our way to the Stoliner Rebbe’s tish.” (The word “tish,” literally translated as “table,” is a term used for a gathering of chassidim around their Rebbe’s table.) The gentleman thought that it might be interesting to observe a tish and so he asked, as he hurried to catch up with them, “Do you mind if I come along?”

 

“No, of course not. But you must walk quickly,” they added, “because it is starting soon.”

The three of them rushed down Rechov Pines, made a right turn on Rechov Malchei Yisrael, and headed into the tiny streets of Meah Shearim toward the Stoliner shul.

The shul  was packed with hundreds of people who had already gathered to sing and bask in the Rebbe’s presence. The gentleman now detached himself from the two boys, shouldered his way through the crowd, found some room for himself in the back of the synagogue and stood there unobtrusively observing the scene.

My uncle, a fervent Stoliner chassid for decades, had come that week to Jerusalem to be with his Rebbe. He, too, was at the tish and was sitting close to the front. As he looked around the synagogue he searched for faces that were not among the “regulars.” It was then that he noticed the wealthy man in the back.

My uncle, aside from being a devout chassid of the Rebbe, is the founder and fundraiser of the Stoliner Yeshivah in Bnei Brak. Before Shabbos the Rebbe had told him that he must not leave Jerusalem before raising twenty-five thousand dollars for the benefit of the yeshivah, because themelamdim (teachers) were owed a great deal of back pay. Therefore, when my uncle saw the wealthy gentleman, he figured that he might be a good man to talk to.

Throughout the evening my uncle kept an eye on the man in the back of the shul. When he realized that the tish was about to end, he made his way towards him. My uncle, a jovial and robust individual, extended his hand and, with the broadest of smiles, said, “Gut Shabbos, Reb Yid. Welcome to Stolin. I believe I recognize you.”

 

My uncle knew quite well that this man had a reputation of being a philanthropist who supported many Jewish causes. He was hoping he could get him involved with his own cause.

 

The man looked at my uncle and replied, “Gut Shabbos. I believe I recognize you too.”

 

The two men spoke for a while and then my uncle asked, “Where are you staying, and how long will you be here in town?”

 

I’m staying at the Central and I’m leaving on Tuesday,” came the reply.

 

“May I bring some of my friends to you tomorrow night at the central, and we will make a little Melaveh Malkah (festive meal held Saturday night)? We’ll sing a little, dance a little, tell some stories, have some good food. It will be beautiful.”

 

The philanthropist understood quite well what my uncle’s intention was, but still he smiled and said, “Fine. Come with your friends tomorrow night.”

 

The next evening, a little while after Shabbos ended, my uncle and three of his friends went to the Central Hotel and up to the gentleman’s room. They knocked on the door and waited, pacing back and forth as they worried that perhaps the gentleman had forgotten about the Melaveh Malkah or that something else had came up. After a few moments, however, the gentleman came to the door and invited them in.

 

For more than two hours they sang, told stories and relished the ambience of the evening. Finally the gentleman turned to my uncle and said, “Ackerman, what do you want from me? I know you didn’t just come here to sing and dance.”

 

My uncle smiled sheepishly and said, “You know something? You are so right. I didn’t just come to sing and dance. I came for a very important reason.” He then went on to explain the financial plight of the Stoliner Yeshivah and how, because of the economic hardships in Israel, the yeshivah was almost totally dependent on support from friends in America. “I need your help,” my uncle said seriously. “The Rebbe told me that I must raise twenty-five thousand dollars.”

 

Everyone in the room was quiet. The gentleman was deep in thought, his eyes closed as he reflected on the words my uncle had just spoken. “I’ll tell you what, Ackerman,” he said. “I’ll give you a donation now, and if you raise ten thousand dollars by tomorrow night, I will match it and give you another ten!”

 

My uncle and his friends could not believe their ears. It had never occurred to them that the gentleman would make such a gracious offer. They shook hands on the “deal” and a few moments later my uncle left the hotel to begin his efforts to raise the ten thousand dollars.

 

For much of the night and all of the next day my uncle ran from person to person, telling them that he had a golden opportunity to relieve Stoliner Yeshivah of a good deal of its financial burden if only they would help him. He collected cash, personal checks, money orders and traveler’s checks. He hardly rested for a moment, and by Sunday evening he was close to his goal.

 

Late Sunday night he made his way to the Central Hotel, went directly to the gentleman’s room and began piling all the money he raised on the table. They counted it, and sure enough – my uncle had met the goal! He had raised ten thousand dollars! The philanthropist promptly took out his checkbook and wrote a check to the Stoliner Yeshivah for ten thousand dollars. My uncle simply could not believe what was happening. For the first time in many years he was speechless.

 

As he began to thank the gentleman profusely for what he had just done, the gentleman said, “Aren’t you wondering why I did this?”

 

“Wondering?” my uncle blurted out. “To me this is a miracle. It’s like man min hashamayim (the food that fell miraculously from Heaven for the Jews in the desert.)”

 

“Sit down,” the gentleman said. “Let me tell you a story and then you will understand.”

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“It was twenty-five years ago.” The gentleman began, “on the afternoon of my wedding day. I was so poor that my parents could not even afford to buy me a hat to wear to my chuppah. I lived in Williamsburg (an Orthdox neighborhood in Brooklyn, New York) at the time, so I walked to Broadway where there was a famous Jewish hat store. I went in and told the owner, “I’m getting married tonight, but my parents are poverty stricken and can’t afford to buy me a hat. Could you please do me a favor and give me a hat? I promise you that tomorrow morning I will come in and pay you with some of the money that I hope to get tonight as wedding presents.”

 

“The man behind the counter looked me over and then answered, ‘You look like an honest yeshivah bachur (student). I’ll give you the hat.’

 

“I was so happy and grateful to him, “continued the gentleman. “I walked outside and a few stores down was a liquor store, also owned by a Jewish man. I knew very well that my parents couldn’t afford any liquor for the wedding, so I went in and said to the man behind the counter, ‘I’m getting married tonight and my parents do not have money to buy any liquor. Would you be so kind as to give me a few bottles for the wedding? I promise that tomorrow morning I will come in and pay you from the money that I hope to get as wedding gifts.’

 

Here, too, the man looked me over and said the same thing the fellow in the hat store has said. ‘You look like an honest yeshivah bachur, I’ll give you the liquor.’

 

“He gave me the liquor and I walked out of the store with the hat in my right hand and the liquor in my left. I felt like a million dollars. I was ecstatic. I took just a few steps outside the store and there you were, Mr. Ackerman.

 

[My uncle, R’ Yehuda Ackerman, was known at the time as the most extraordinary dancer at Jewish weddings. Whenever he made his way into the middle of the circle where everyone was dancing, He became the focal point of frolic around which everything centered. Everyone in the hall would stop whatever they were doing just to watch him perform for the chassan and kallah. His body movements were elegant; his balancing acts; entertaining; his radiant smile ebullient, and his body’s comical coordination with the music the band was playing was incredible and legendary. Somehow he managed to become the physical embodiment of the musical notes emanating from the violin, clarinet and cordovox, which were popular at the time.]

 

“I saw,” the gentleman said, “that Hashem was so good to me in helping me get the hat and the liquor, so I figured that I would take my chances just one more time. I walked over to you and said, ‘Mr. Ackerman, I know you don’t know who I am, but I am getting married tonight. Would you mind coming to dance at my wedding?’

 

“You said that you couldn’t promise anything, but you took down my name and the name and address of the wedding hall. And that night, right in the middle of the wedding, you came running into the center of the circle where everyone was dancing and you danced so magnificently. The people loved it! You made everyone so happy and you helped make it the greatest night of my life. When it was over that evening, I swore to myself that someday I would repay you.”

 

Now, transversing all the years in between, the gentleman concluded. “Last night, when I saw you at the Stoliner Rebbe’s tish, I suddenly remembered what I had said to myself back then on my wedding night. I realized that now was the time to pay you back. That’s why I gave you the money.”

 

My uncle sat there astounded. He hasn’t remembered the wedding. He hadn’t remembered the wedding from so long ago, but he would never forget this Shabbos night in Jerusalem.

 

The story, however, did not end there. The next time my uncle was in the city where this generous gentleman lived, he heard that the man’s son was getting married. He waited until the middle of the wedding and then as he had done so many years earlier, he ran into the center of the circle where everyone was dancing, and he danced as he had, all those years before.

 

And as he did, he turned and saw the gentleman standing off on the side with a great smile across his face, and tears rolling down his cheeks. He ran over to the man and, as they embraced, the man said to my uncle, “How can I ever thank you? You’ve made me relive the greatest night of my life.”

 

The Gemara (Yoma 9b) teaches that the Second Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of sinas chinam, uncalled-for and unreasonable hatred. Here, though, was an instance of poignant ahavas chinam, a talented individual dancing at the wedding of a young man whom he didn’t even know and never thought he would see again only because there was love…love of one Jew for another with no motive or incentive other than that they were both Jewish. May we all learn from this incredible story and merit together to see the building of the Third Beis HaMikdash.

 

Reproduced from “Footsteps of the Maggid,” by Rabbi Paysach Krohn, with permission of the copyright holders, ArtScroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

Laws About Birkat Hamazon

August 4, 2013 Birkat Hamazon No comments
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The sages asserted that one who is careful to recite birkat hamazon, will, for the rest of his life receive his sustenance with honor. In this week’s Parasha (Eikev 8:10), it states, ‘And you shall eat, and you shall be satiated, and you shall make a bracha to G-d for the good land which he gave to you’. In the commandment to say birkat hamazon, the Torah makes reference to three things; food (eat), land, and good (tov). From this we learn that this blessing must incorporate acknowledgement of food, the land of Israel and Jerusalem. Thus the obligation to recite the themes contained in the first three brachot is a Torah law (Mede’orisa). The fourth bracha was enacted by the Rabbis (please refer to the first article for an explanation of the first bracha).

When the Jews entered Israel, Yehoshua, their leader, instituted the second bracha (nodeh), acknowledging G-d for giving us the land. The Israelites left Egypt and spent forty years in the desert. During that time, they received the Torah and slowly formed a nation. Although Moshe wasn’t able to enter, it was Yehoshua who led them to the Promised Land. The third blessing was instituted by King David when Jerusalem was consecrated as the Holy City. King Solomon added an acknowledgement for the temple when the construction was complete. After the destruction of the first temple, the text was modified to include a plea for the return of Jerusalem and the Temple. This became form of our third bracha, rachem. The Torah connects eating bread to making a birkat hamazon; therefore giving us the positive commandment to say the blessing after eating bread.

The amount of bread in which a person eats to require the birkat hamazon is a kezayit (literally, olive size, which is equal to a volume of half an egg, A good example would be a half a slice center of rye bread). Birkat hamazon is only required if the kezayit is eaten within three minutes (but there are conditions and pre-conditions). It’s important to note, satiation is the key factor in determining whether birkat hamazon is Mede’orisa (from the Torah) or Mede’rabanan (Rabbinical) (Mede’orisa tends to be stricter). This concern arises when one doesn’t remember whether he said birkat hamazon or not. If he is full at the time of remembering, then he recites it and if not then he does not. The reason is because the pasuk says ve’savata one should be satiated which would make it Mede’orisa.

Another note, since birkat hamazon is a Torah obligation, the sages instituted stringent laws with regard to its recital. One of those requirements is to that birkat hamazon should be said in the place where one ate. The Sages define ‘the place where he ate ‘ to mean any place within the room which he ate (a wedding hall is a prime example).

Around the Shabbat Table- Parshat B’haalotcha

August 4, 2013 Kid's Section No comments

 by Rabbi Gedalia Fogel – Pre 1A – Yeshiva Ketana of Queens

 

Hi! This is Rebbe speaking:

This week’s parsha, Parshas B’haalotcha, speaks about the avodah, the work that Aharon Hakohen, the High Priest, did in the Beis Hamidkash, (the Holy Temple).  It says that Aharon Hakohen did what Hashem commanded of him and he didn’t change. He lit the Menorah every day.

The head of each Shevet (tribe) brought Karbanot right after the Mishkan was built. Aharon felt bad that his Shevet, Shevet Levi, did not partake in this Avodah of bringing Karbanot. But he was appeased when Hashem told him that his Avodah was to light the Menorah daily.

Just like Aharon Hakohen lit the Menorah every day so too, our Avodah is to do Mitzvot, pray and to learn Torah daily. The more this becomes a habit the greater the reward will be. When one plants a seed he must work the field every day. He will not see results immediately but eventually he will enjoy the fruits of his labor. One who prays daily may not always see the results of his prayers, but one day he will see that every word of prayer was significant.  Rabbi Nachman of Breslov compares this to a king who had a tree in his garden that took 100 years to bear fruit. For one hundred years the king’s gardeners toiled and only then did they see results.

When one works on himself spiritually he will reap greater and greater reward. With each consecutive day that he learns, prays and does Mitzvot he will get more satisfaction and compensation. Rabbi Akiva saw a rock that had a hole in it. How can this be? Rabbi Akiva noticed that a drop of water dripped on this rock continuously and eventually the drops bore a hole. One may find it hard to pray and learn Torah on a daily basis but with consistency it will get easier and will have far reaching effects.

The first question asked when one reaches the heavenly court is whether he set aside time each day for Torah learning. One must learn for a period of time each day. He must make sure that this becomes a daily ritual and one he would never miss. If one keeps to this commitment it will become second nature and they will not feel as if it is a burden.

Rabbi Avigdor Miller taught us this lesson with doing Chesed, a kind deed. He stated that one must make sure to do at least one Chesed each day. The Torah stands on three pillars: Torah, Avodah and Gemillat Chasadim. Torah is making sure that one sets aside a time for learning Torah each day. Avodah is prayer and Gemillat Chasadim means doing Chesed, kindness.

There were no time restrictions when it came to see Reb Shmuel Salant, the Rav of Yerushalayim. He was getting older and his family wanted to set a certain time of day when Reb Shmuel would answer Halachic questions. But the Rav refused. He said, “One must always copy the ways of Hashem. He does not restrict our communication with Him. Hashem does not have hours. His doors are open at all times for prayer and repentance. So too, my Chesed, my door to others will always be open.

A Talmid, a disciple, asked the Chazon Ish, “Why give so much of your time to others? It is hard for you to always be available. Your time is so precious. You can spend more time learning Torah.” The Chazon Ish answered, “If I had a lot of money I would give Tzedaka regularly. But since I do not, the least I can do is listen to others at all times without limits.

Dear children, we learned about the importance of doing something daily without stopping. We can easily achieve this. There is great power to doing something on a constant basis. Let us try to make sure that a day does not pass without Chesed, prayer and Torah learning.

What have we learned today?

What is the significance of lighting the Menorah each day?

It teaches us the importance of doing something daily.

What three pillars does the world stand on?

Torah, Avodah and Gemillat Chasadim. One should set aside time for each of these three things daily. He should make sure to learn Torah, pray and do Chesed each day.

Around the Shabbat Table- Parshat Eikev

August 4, 2013 Kid's Section No comments

By Rabbi Gedalia Fogel

 

Hi! This is Rebbe speaking:

 

 

In this week’s parsha, Parshat Eikev, Rashi comments on the words “והיה עקב תשמעון”. Rashi translates עקב to mean “heel”. He states that if you listen and do the Mitzvot that you do with your heel (small Mitzvot) than you will merit the rewards that Hashem has promised. Even the Mitzvot that one walks right over with their heel, Mitzvot that go unnoticed, are counted and the reward that was promised will be fulfilled. One may think that only big Mitzvot, only good deeds that are major get reward. But this is not so. The small good deeds also receive great reward in the World to Come.

 

The wife of the Gra (the Rabbi of Vilna) and her friend Miriam, two righteous women took the troubles of their hometown into their hands. They would go from door to door and collect food and money for their poor townspeople. It was not an easy task. The wife of the Gra and Miriam would walk through the streets and knock at each door requesting a donation.

“Would you be so kind and help your Jewish brothers who have no food to feed their youngsters?” Miriam would ask. “Whatever the donation, food or money, big or small, would surely help them immensely.” the wife of the Gra would add. Many would give with a full heart. But there were those that would not contribute often, without even a kind word in response to their request.

For many years both friends had the merit of doing this great Mitzvah. As the years went on their great deed became more of a challenge for both women. They were not young anymore. But they were not about to stop what they had been doing for decades long.

The bond between both women was strengthened through this great Mitzvah. They made up that whichever woman would die first, would come to the other in a dream and tell them what had transpired in the World to Come.

The wife of the Gra passed away and left Miriam alone to continue this great Mitzvah. Shortly after Miriam’s death, the wife of the Gra came to Miriam in a dream. “You cannot fathom what great reward awaits you. Every step that you take, every knock on a door, every word of request, each are worth more than one can fathom.”

“Do you recall that time that we went to Meir, a wealthy man’s home only to discover that he was not home? I then spotted Meir walking across the road. I pointed my finger and showed you that Meir was heading toward his home. We both got great merit for this Mitzvah but I received a greater remuneration. Since I was the one that pointed Meir out to you, I received an extra reward for lifting my finger and pointing out that Meir was there, thus allowing us to get a donation from him.

The Mishna in Perkei Avot states “Be careful with a small Mitzvah as much as a big Mitzvah, since we do not know the reward of the Mitzvah. You should be careful to perform all Mitzvot since we do not know which good deed is big in the eyes of Hashem. One should be diligent with any Mitzvah, even those seemly small Mitzvot, since they may be more significant than they seem.

Offer a man $100 for a day’s work and he will work a day. Offer him $500 for a week and he will work a week. Offer him $3000 a month and he will work a month etc… Mitzvot are worth much more and even though we do not know exactly how much each Mitzvah is worth, we still know that comparatively it is priceless. Catch as many Mitzvot as you can.

Reb Shimon worked in a meat factory. He would greet Peter, the guard at the door each morning with a cheerful “hello” and each evening on his way out, he would thank Peter and wish him a “good night”.

One evening Peter was frantic as the owner of the factory was about to lock up. “Reb Shimon did not leave the factory. He must be somewhere inside the factory still.” “How can you be sure of that? Maybe he left in a hurry and you did not see him.” Peter responded with confidence, “He did not leave! Shimon does not leave without saying “good night”. He has done this for many years and has never missed a night. ”

Peter followed the owner into the factory and searched each room. They finally opened the deep freezer only to discover Reb Shimon half-frozen, barely moving. They quickly carried him out and covered him and warmed him up, until he came back to himself. “You saved my life. How did you know that I was still here? I was positive that no one would know that I was locked into the freezer. I was sure you all had gone home.” “Actually you saved your own life.” responded Peter. “I was positive that you were still here because you were meticulous in telling me “good night” each evening. I knew that you had come to work today because you greeted me in the morning and I did not receive your daily “good bye”. It’s your credit, your good deed of greeting me each day that saved your life.”

In this story we see how a small deed saved someone’s life. This shows us what small Mitzvot can achieve for us in the World to Come. A seemingly insignificant deed can go a long way.

 

 

What have we learned today?

 

 

 

Does it pay to do large Mitzvot over small Mitzvot?

 

Any Mitzvah is worthy of reward. Sometimes what seems insignificant is really worth much more than one can fathom. Do all Mitzvot that come your way both big and small.

 

 

What are some Mitzvot that seem insignificant? Which Mitzvot can girls and boys your age perform?

 

Greeting each person with a smile. Answering Amen to a Bracha. Sharing. Holding the door open for others. Listening to your parents the first time. Saying Brachot out loud. Playing nicely with your siblings and friends. Praying for someone in need.

 

I’m sure you all have great examples that you have performed and will continue to do. Hashem cherishes each Mitzvah big and small.
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