Parshat Vayeishev

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Vayeishev

December 15, 2011
19 Kislev, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

We have expanded the Parsha Highlights section.

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Vayeishev Highlights
Parshat Vayeishev – Leadership
Chanukah – Pursuit of Honor
The Vision That Makes Dreams a Reality – Chanukah

Parshat Vayeishev Highlights
 

First portion:

 

* After a life full of difficulties, Yaacov settles in Canaan, home of his father, thinking he’ll have some peace and quiet…..Ha!
* Yosef, who is Yaacov’s favorite son, (and was singled out by buying him and only him a coat) is described by the narrative as a na’ar (a bit immature) who told his father the negative things his brothers do.
* Josephs immature and naive behavior resulted in eventually telling his father and brothers two similar dreams where the brothers, as well as his parents, are bowing down to him (note: if one has 2 similar dreams on back-to-back nights, there’s a greater chance that some elements of it will come true). As a result of this disclosure, the brothers hated him even more.

 

Second portion:

 

* Yaacov tells Yosef to find his brothers.
* The brothers’ hatred toward him escalates from’ keeping it in their heart ‘ to verbal taunting (look, the dreamer is here) and then to the physical, l as they contemplate killing him. Reuben persuades them not to kill our own flesh and blood.

 

Third portion:

 

* After abandoning the idea of killing him, the brothers grabbed him and threw him into a pit. Yehuda speaks out ‘why should we leave him for dead, lets’ sell him’. So the brothers sold him to the Yishmaelim (Arabs).
* After some wheeling and dealing, Yosef ends up in Egypt.
* The brothers took his jacket, the same one that his father gave him as a gift, and dipped it in blood. Yehuda presented the torn Jacket to Yaacov, their father saying, ‘Recognize this jacket? A wild animal killed Yosef. Yaacov never stopped mourning for Yosef.
* Yosef was sold to Potifar, one of the officers of Pharaoh.

 

Fourth portion:

 

* The narrative breaks away from the story of Yosef to tell us of an incident involving one of the brothers Yehuda. This is significant in the future leadership of Israel.
* Yehuda is widowed with three sons. He finds a wife, named Tamar, for his oldest son Err. Apparently, when Err has relationship with his new wife, Tamar, he makes a sin by not finishing the act but instead spilling his seed. The reason for this is because Err didn’t want to get Tamar pregnant; he wanted to preserve her beauty and figure. This angered G-d and Err died.
* We are introduced to a concept in Judaism that’s not practiced today, but people should be aware of, called Yibum and Chalitza. When a brother dies childless, it’s an obligation of a brother or a family member to preserve the name of the deceased brother and marry the widow. This process is called Yibum. If the brother is not interested, then he performs chalitza on her where the widow spits in the shoe of the non-interested party and she parts ways with her husband’s family; she then is free to marry others.
* Onan, the second son of Yehuda, takes responsibility and marries Tamar. Unfortunately, he too repeats his brother’s sin and does not learn from Err’s mistake. G-d takes his life as well.
* Yehuda soon after tells his widowed daughter-in-law that his youngest son, Shaila, is too young to take responsibility of Yibum and sends her away. Don’t call us, we’ll call you; apparently, Tamar would have to wait. But when the time came, Yehuda never called Tamar.
* Tamar, realizing the importance of this family, devised a plan to continue to be a part of it. She disguised herself as a prostitute and purposely went to the field where Yehuda was tending sheep. Yehuda offered her his stick as collateral until he will have money the next day and she agreed. But the next day she was nowhere to be found. A number of months later, Yehuda was told that his daughter-in-law is pregnant, not knowing that he was responsible for the pregnancy.
* At the trial, Tamar showed the court Yehuda’s signet, wrap and staff and said whoever this is, is responsible for the child (she was carrying twins) I’m carrying. She purposely didn’t accuse anybody and left it in the hands of Yehuda to tell the truth or not.
* Yehuda acknowledged it was he who was responsible.

 

Fifth portion:

 

* Yosef was successful working at Potifar’s house, so much so, that he was promoted to the head overseer of the household. He was well-liked by all.

 

Sixth portion:

 

* Potifar’s wife takes a liking to Yosef and tries to seduce him daily. In one incident, Potifar’s wife was a bit more brazen in her attempt. But Yosef prevails and does not succumb to her advances. Yosef saw the image of his father and that helped him.
* Potifar’s wife was humiliated by the rejection and cries attacker!! Attacker!! And Yosef is put in jail.

 

Seventh portion:

 

* In jail, he meets two other inmates who are troubled by dreams they each had. The butler, who was punished because a dead fly was found in Pharaoh’s wine cup, and the baker who was in prison because Pharaoh bit on a rock which was in his bread. Yosef interprets the dreams; the butler will get his old job back and the baker will die. Joseph interprets the dreams correctly.

Parshat Vayeishev – Leadership

 

              Who is a true leader? What qualities should he and should he not have? Do you consider yourself a leader type? In this week’s parsha, we see a classic example of what a text-book leader is all about, and who to emulate if  one wants to be a leader and needless to say a fine human being. When Yaacov, our patriarch, was on his deathbed and he was giving out the brachot (in Parshat Vayechi), it consisted of the placement (and displacement) of some brothers in certain positions. These chosen positions, which were based on their character and prophecy, were permanently passed down through their descendants forever. Yehuda, who was the fourth son, was chosen the leader because of the incident with Tamar. What did he exactly do to earn him the lofty position of crown royalty? In order to answer the question, we must back track just a bit. Tamar, Yehuda’s widowed daughter-in-law, was tossed aside fearing she will never have the opportunity to marry and have children with Yehuda’s family after her marriage to two of Yehuda’s sons resulted in their deaths (not her fault). Obviously, Yehuda was concerned about the safety of the last son. When bad luck strikes, one cuts their losses and severs contacts. Perhaps this was Yehuda’s intentions.

Tamar took action showing tenacity and cleverness, by disguising herself as a prostitute and luring Yehuda into having relationship with her where he had no idea it was his daughter-in-law all along. Months later, it was discovered she’s pregnant. Yehuda, figuring she had relationship outside his family, demanded a trial where if found guilty would be punishable by death. At the trial where basically the whole town and more were present, Tamar showed Yehuda and the town ‘whose ever stick this is, is the one responsible for my pregnancy’. Yehuda then realized it was he.

Apparently, Tamar put the ball in his court. No one knew whose stick it was except for Yehuda and Tamar. For Yehuda – who was considered a man of prominence – to go to a prostitute, was considered very demeaning. If it were disclosed at the trial that it was indeed Yehuda, then he would have been the laughing stock of the town. ‘My goodness what would people think of me?’ Tamar arranged it in such a way that if Yehuda will not admit it was his stick, no one else will know and therefore her fate of death was imminent. She would go down to the grave with the truth.

Yehuda’s admission, ‘tzadka meemeni – she’s right’ was a breakthrough statement of all time. Not only did he admit in front of the whole town it was him who was responsible, but he also acknowledged that Tamar was in the right for doing what she did. His admission was clearly a difficult task. Yehuda showed strong character by pursuing the truth even though it would be at the expense of his dignity, and would have taken him out of any prominence. But most important, he didn’t care what people thought. He will not let criticism dictate his decision, criticism that would be very tempting not to admit the truth.

Similarly, we find King David, who was a descendant of Yehuda, admitting his guilt after intentionally sending Batsheva’s husband, Uria, to the front to be killed, so he can conveniently marry her. A leader has to admit guilt and not let his pride get in the way.

King Shaul had an opportunity to kill out Amalek (PUBLIC ENEMY NO 1); He disregarded an order from G-d, afraid of what the people might think. He did not want to appear too cruel. A decision like that disqualifies you as king. This action was the factor in losing the Kingdom.

Chanukah – Pursuit of Honor
   

           If someone was born and bred in a western culture, they surely can appreciate Chanukah. One of the major aspects of childhood in America is being entertained by TV crime fighters or the superheroes that we grew up with. They are all predominately based on the Maccabees. G-d had mercy on the Jews and our heroes prevailed. We all have that sense of pride of what Matetyahu and his sons accomplished and rightfully so. It was a magnificent display of courage, belief in G-d and national pride; Kol Hakavod to them.

Little is written about the Maccabees. Surprisingly, only one side of a page is written about them in Tractate Shabbat, while a whole tractate and a megila is dedicated to the holiday of Purim. Why is that so?

In the Torah, nothing is coincidence. There is always a reason why things are the way they are. Chanukah always falls out on the week when we read about the story of Yehuda, (which is our dvar Torah-schmooze of the week on the parsha) and how he earned the right to be the leader of the brothers. The bracha of our patriarch Yaacov, which we will read in a few weeks, not only crowns Yehuda as royalty, but his descendants as well. The kingdom is only to come out from Yehuda. Only under the extreme dire situations should Israel alter this tradition.

Unfortunately, such was the case with the Maccabees; there was nobody from the tribe of Yehuda at the time worthy to be King. Therefore, Shimon, one of the remaining sons of Matetyahu, became King, temporarily, as well as their natural position of Kohen Gadol (high priest; the Maccabees were Kohanim). However, what started out as a noble gesture, even though the original Maccabees were as sincere as one can get, their descendants were not. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. It’s very hard to let go of power and kavod, especially when the high position is passed down from generation to generation, and one feels it is mine to inherit.

Our sages informed us that whoever says they are descendants of the Maccabees are terribly mistaken. Because they hung onto the kingdom longer then they were supposed to, all the descendants were wiped out. The last descendant, Miriam, was forced to marry Herod the great (who wasn’t Jewish). Herod wanted to be liked so badly that he forced the marriage, figuring people will give him more respect for marrying into such a popular and noble family. Miriam had other plans. Seeing she could not get out of the marriage, she decided to take her own life. Herod was devastated and very desperate to hold onto power. What he did for some time will go down as the most despicable act in history. He did not inform the public about Miriam’s death. Herod kept her body in honey for preservation and every morning when the king customarily addresses the nation, he would bring her out as if she was alive to show all is fine at the palace.

The Vision That Makes Dreams a Reality – Chanukah
   

In one of the passages in Shir Hashirim – the Song of Songs, written by King Solomon, it is written, doodayim brought out a fragrance and at the entrance the oils (from the Chanukah menorah) burn brightly. Doodayim are plants that bring out magnificent scent. Reuben, Yaacov’s oldest son, introduced it to us when he presented it to his mother Leah. What’s the connection that King Solomon, the smartest man that ever lived, makes between Reuben’s doodayim and oil of the Chanukah menorah?

Reuben was gifted with tremendous vision that made him the only one who recognized that the brothers were wrong in their assessment of Yosef. Reuben prevented them from killing Yosef. No one saw what Reuben envisioned. The menorah beautifully lit represents the Maccabees who believed in G-d and that truth will prevail, foreseeing confidently that they will overcome and be victorious over the most powerful obstacle in the world, the Greek army. Having the ability to envision and believe it can be achieved, requires strong character. This can be attained by strengthening our belief in G-d and developing a tenacity to fulfill the dreams, which seem unattainable. We all have dreams that we wish will come true but don’t believe it will ever come into fruition. The passage teaches us one can take a vision and make it a reality.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Vayishlach

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Vayishlach

December 8, 2011
12 Kislev, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Vayishlach Highlights
Parshat Vayishlach – Public Enemy #1
What Is Your Favorite Season?
Do You Take Care of Yourself?

 Parshat Vayishlach Highlights
 

* After hearing Eisav gathered 400 hundred men en-route to kill him, Yaacov sent angels ahead to greet his brother and try to soften his stance – second portion.

 

* Yaacov put together an arrangement of gifts for his brother, Eisav. We learn here the importance of diplomatic negotiations in dealing with your foes.
* Yaacov fights with Eisav’s angel and is injured – third portion.
* Yaacov and Eisav meet – fourth portion.
* Eisav goes home to the land of Seir.
* Yaacov and his family arrive in Shechem – fifth portion
* Yaacov’s daughter Dina is raped by Shechem.
* Shimon and Levi, 2 of the 12 sons of Yaacov, trick Shechem and the entire town by convincing them we will intermarry with you only after the males in the city get circumcised. On the third day since the communal circumcisions, Shimon and Levi came and killed all the males in the town of Shechem. They also rescued their sister, Dina.
* G-d said to Yaacov go to Bet El and make me an altar (place where Yaacov had his dream).
* G-d gave an additional name to Yaacov, Israel – sixth portion.
* Rachel gives birth to Benyamin completing the 12 tribes, and soon after dies.
* Rachel is buried on the way in Bet Lechem.
* Isaac dies, and both his sons, Yaacov and Eisav, bury him.
* Genealogy of Eisav is being told over – seventh portion.

 

 

 

 

Parshat Vayishlach – Public Enemy #1

 

             The genealogy of Eisav’s children is being spelled out at the end of parshas Vayishlach. There is a very interesting story involving the grandmother of PUBLIC ENEMY #1 which the Jews despise the most, Amalek. Amalek, who was Eisav’s grandson and his descendant, have given the Jews the most pain and sorrow from all our foes. What’s the reason our confrontations with him were always so bitter? What’s the reason when we say Amalek or Haman (descendant of Amalek) in synagogue; we stamp our feet out of disgust? Let’s probe into the root of Amalek and why he came to this world.

Timna, the mother of Amalek, was the mistress of Elifas, the son of Eisav. One may find it odd that she was a concubine considering she was the daughter of a king and the sister of Liytan, a prominent figure. Apparently, she was under the strong belief that ‘I’d rather be a mistress to this nation than a queen to a different nation’. She was referring to Avraham and his children. In fact, she made her overtures to be the wife of Avraham, Isaac, and Yaacov but was rejected by all three; our forefathers did not accept her. So she settled for Elifas. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, in which this dvar Torah is based from, says the bitterness of being rejected by our ancestors became ingrained and transformed to Timna’s future genealogy. The rage Amalek has towards us stems from jealousy of Timna, being tossed away and not accepted. Rav Chaim asks ‘how can that be? It’s out of character of the persona and philosophy of Avraham. The great Avraham, whose teachings of G-d and the notion of bringing people back was his virtue. He was an expert of bringing people closer to G-d, to convert everybody and to take them under the wing of glory. The self-sacrifice he gave towards outreach is one of astonishment, and yet he turns and rejects an individual soul who understands the prominence and value of his family, and is willing to give up so much to be a part of it. One can even say it’s very commendable on her part. Why didn’t they accept Timna?

Timna wasn’t accepted because she wasn’t worthy to be under the clouds of glory. Our ancestors saw through prophecy that she and her descendants carry in their genes very bad traits, and our fathers wanted no part of it.

When the Israelites crossed the sea after G-d made it split, all the nations heard, saw, and trembled the miracles G-d performed for them. The world was in awe. The Jews were placed on a pedestal, untouched; they were considered a holy nation, G-d’s nation. However, one nation waged war against the Israelites, Amalek. Up until that point, the world saw through the miracles, the power and goodness of G-d. Apparently, there was a momentum of spirituality among the nations resulting from those monumental events. Amalek ruined all this.

Rashi (commentary on the Chumash) gives a memorable example of the first person jumping in a hot pool while the others were apprehensive. But the pool became cooler as soon as the first person jumped, making it approachable.

Similarly, we find the giant Og making fun of Avraham and Sarah’s newborn, Isaac, for being too small. It was the first baby in the crib,’ What is this little thing?’ It was such a miracle and a tremendous credit to G-d giving a gift to this old couple that were the ambassadors of G-d and represented Him out in the open. If there was any time in history to boast of the concept of ‘the good gets blessed’, it’s here. But Og minimized the miracle and dulled the momentum of spirituality.

Apparently, by waging war against the Jews, proved that our fathers were right in not taking Timna under the wings of glory. While other nations saw and felt G-d’s power and spirituality after the splitting of the sea, it seemed like Amalek was desensitized to G-d and spirituality; they weren’t moved, didn’t faze them one bit. They weren’t able, and perhaps didn’t have it in them to feel the spirituality.

Although our forefathers were right in their decision about Timna, one has to be a little bit gentler on how to reject. Rav Chaim teaches us the diplomatic game has to be enforced by pushing them out with the left hand and shaking their hands with the right; cordial but curt or cruddier; kick them from behind with a smile. We often have to act in such away in our workplace for our self-preservation. It was crucial not to let Timna in, for if she was accepted, it would have compromised our development individually and as a nation, but we have to be delicate in saying you can’t come in.

What Is Your Favorite Season?
   

 

After returning back from the United States, an Israeli was asked how he liked his trip to New York. His response was he hated it. “There are four seasons there”. But there are four seasons everywhere”, he was told. He retorted back, “You’re right, but in New York there are four seasons in one day.”

My son recently wrote an essay about autumn. He described the leaves on the trees turning colors and having fun stepping on a sea of leaves that have fallen resulting in a crunching sound. My boy mentioned about the wonderful smell the leaves give out while lying on the ground, especially after a rainfall. Many years ago, well, not so many, I too wrote a similar essay when I was just about my son’s age. This treat of autumn is something many New Yorkers don’t appreciate. A few years ago I had the pleasure of walking with a fellow who wasn’t from this country that had pointed out the beauty of autumn. He mentioned, in envy, he doesn’t experience the beauty of autumn where he comes from. Apparently, I was a little embarrassed because it seemed like he observed in detail the change of seasons with appreciation while I took it for granted.

The Mesilat Yesharim compares us to horses that ride in a very quick pace without realizing where they pass. They don’t move their head; they just ride straight without realizing the beautiful countryside they’re passing. We have to stop and to see the beauty that G-d has placed us in and appreciate details of the flowery spring, the greenery of summer, snowy winters, and cooling fall. We should not let the rat race with its pressure and stress dictate and dominate our lives. That kind of New York pressure desensitizes us where we miss out on life.

Every December 4th, (this year in New York, December 5th because of the leap year next year), we change the format of the Amida prayer, (the silent prayer that we stand at a standstill which we say 3 times a day), due to the change of seasons, by reciting ‘v’ten tal umatar lebracha, making a request that He give us rain. It is made only when rain is actually needed in an agricultural cycle. In Israel, however, rain is needed in early fall, so the recitation therefore begins on 7 Cheshvan, much earlier than elsewhere. (This is the daily bracha for parnassa – making a good livelihood).

(We had discussed in previous newsletters the importance of saying prayers as accurately as possible. One might argue ‘it’s the thought that counts’ and there is no need for such over zealous meticulousness. However, this is not so, (please refer to previous ‘coffee and a thought).

What happens when an American (Jew) travels to Israel arriving at the end of November or an Israeli landing in New York at the same time? Do they alter their prayers to accommodate the guest environment or do they follow what they do at home?

Rav Eliyahu Ben Haim mentions that the only time a person changes his prayer for v’ten tal umatar lebracha is when he is the shaliach tzibur (chazzan) for his host country. Otherwise, he goes by what he says back home.

A change of season is important because it breaks up the monotony and it provides a well-needed refreshing look and feel so we can appreciate G-d and the world. Therefore, we can give the ultimate thanks.

Do You Take Care of Yourself? 
   

For the most part, I write the last article of this newsletter Tuesday night after my lecture and shiur. However, tonight, Tuesday, I missed giving my lecture and shiur because I wasn’t feeling well (sponsors – beware – your dedication will be announced before the shiur next week). Apparently, that’s the reason I’m writing earlier than usual. I love giving the shiur, it’s a nice guy environment, and it pained me to miss it. My wife blames me (like many wives blame their husbands) for not giving it due to getting sick because I don’t take care of myself, or so she says. Although I do keep odd hours and I don’t sleep much at night or eat at the proper times, but for her to make that assessment is unfair.

My great-grandfather would always say, “Watch your health very much very much (meod meod).” Well, the actual quote (Devarim 4:16) has only ‘one’ very much, but I guess he wanted to make his point clear. Apparently, by having it written in the Torah puts a more stringent concern on all of us (violating Torah law – medeorisa is harsher then rabbinical law).

Even more so, my father always said you cannot talk while eating fish because it’s a battle. Let’s take those wise words a step further. My friend, Rabbi Uri Sklaar, says eating fish is a battle even without talking. Now let’s take it even further; according to the Shulchan Aruch (the book of laws), one cannot talk while you eat (besides fish) because it might go down the wrong pipe. Now, how many of us are strict about that one?

I remember taking a course in college where at one point they taught you the proper technique on how to interview for a job; the primary concern is proper etiquette at a restaurant. Now remember, according to Jewish law, you cannot answer a question until you swallow the food (it is advisable not to order peanut butter).

However, there are those that are extremists when it comes to health. One should take note that you cannot add or subtract from the Torah; don’t be such a tzaddik. It’s okay; you can cheat a little on the midnight snacks. So I guess one should not deprive the kids of potato chips by substituting raisins or carrots. (My wife will give me an earful for that one.)

Questions to ponder: does one have to go organic to be healthy? Are you violating the law by doing too much? Or maybe one is violating by not having organic products or by not doing enough?

Regardless, one should keep in mind that the Torah does take health and taking care of yourself very seriously, but defining the letter of the law is the question. Ask your local Rabbi or nutritionist for advice.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Vayeitzei

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Vayeitzei

December 1, 2011
5 Kislev, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Vayeitzei Highlights
Parshat Vayeitzei – Appreciating What One Does for You
Are You Aware of Your Talents?
Is There a Section in the Yellow Pages for a Kabbalist?

 Parshat Vayeitzei Highlights
 

 

* Yaacov leaves his parents’ home and is on his way to his uncle Lavan to presumable marry his cousin Rachel. 

 

* He stops in this place where he camps outside and settles for the night, where he has a dream that angels are going up and down a ladder. G-d tells him in the dream, ‘I am the G-d of your fathers, Abraham and Isaac. This is a holy place where you are lying and I will give this land to you and your children. Your children will be plentiful and I, G-d, will watch over you and your offspring’.

 

* When Yaacov wakes up, he vows ‘if G-d is with me then I will follow his ways’.

 

* On the way, he spends time in the study hall of Shem and Ever, where he learns more about G-d and spiritual concepts.

 

* Eisav’s son Elifas is instructed to kill Yaacov but is convinced by his uncle that if he robs him of all his money, then he is as good as dead.

 

* Yaacov arrives and meets Rachel, Lavan’s daughter, by the well.

 

* We are informed by the narrative that Lavan has two daughters; the oldest, Leah, who has tender eyes, and the youngest, Rachel, who is very beautiful.

 

* Yaacov has an agreement with Lavan to work seven years and then to marry his youngest daughter, Rachel, whom he loves.

 

* Lavan tricks Yaacov and switches Rachel with Leah.

 

* Yaacov agrees to work seven more years to marry Rachel.

 

* G-d sees that Yaacov loves Rachel more then Leah. So, G-d opens up Leah’s womb and she produces four boys in succession: Reuben, Shimon, Levy, and Yehuda.

 

* Rachel is jealous of Leah since she can’t have children. She gives her maidservant, Bilah, for a wife to Yaacov stating ‘I too will build a family through her.’

 

* Bilah gives birth to Dan and then to Naftali.

 

* Leah sees she stopped giving birth, so she too gives Yaacov her maidservant, Zilpah, for a wife.

 

* Zilpah gives birth to Gad then to Asher.

 

* Reuben finds these special plants called dudayim, (thought to be good for fertility) and presents them to his mother. Rachel likes them and exchanges a night with Yaacov for the dudayim.

 

* Leah has two more boys: Yisachar then Zevulun.

 

* Rachel gives birth to a son named Yosef.

 

* Lavan changes the wages, as well as agreements many times in their business affairs, and Yaacov still comes out a winner.

 

* G-d tells Yaacov ‘It’s time for you and your family to leave after Lavan and his sons over-stepped their boundaries.’

 

* Rachel steals her father’s magical idols.

 

* Lavan chases after Yaacov and his family, and accuses him of stealing his idols.

 

* Yaacov is angry at the accusation and proclaims, ‘Whoever stole your idols shall die’, not knowing it was Rachel who stole it.

 

* G-d appears to Lavan in a dream, stating he should not harm Yaacov.

 

* Lavan and Yaacov make a treaty.

 

Parshat Vayeitzei – Appreciating What One Does for You
abraham's tent

The King of the Jewish nation, Shaul, felt threatened by David who became very popular by winning one of the most lop-sided one-on-one battles in history, by beating the giant and heavily favorite, the ferocious Goliath. Goliath represented one of Israel’s archrivals, the Philistines. It was a tremendous show of courage and David became an instant hero. David was from the tribe of Yehuda where the kings were to be chosen from. Shaul, who came from the tribe of Benjamin, knew inevitably someone from Yehuda would become king. Later the prophet Shmuel anointed David the future king of Israel, which infuriated the present king. Shaul’s animosity became so great toward David that he wanted to kill him. However, as time went on, David became stronger, gathering up men to join him. In one of the more famous incidences in the Tanach (Prophets), David snuck up to where Shaul was sleeping, who was in the midst of chasing him, and cut Shaul’s garment. By demonstrating this act and showing it to him later, he wanted to be clear, as to convey that he has no hostility toward Shaul and how easily it would have been to kill him.’ I have no ill will toward you’; perhaps, Shaul should soften his stance towards him.

It’s most puzzling that when David who was on his deathbed, he could not keep warm; he was constantly cold and no garment could make him comfortable. Apparently, he was being punished for cutting the garment of Shaul. But why? David wanted to make a point of strength; he wanted to make peace between them. Perhaps Shaul was humiliated, but, even so, it was not intended to be a malice act. Why was he punished so severely?

In this week’s Parsha, we find Yaacov wanting to marry Rachel. He knew though, that her father, who has a reputation of a cheat, might trick him. Therefore, he gives Rachel signs that when implemented will ensure that indeed it would be Rachel he’s marrying. However, Rachel gives over the signs to her sister Leah, stating ‘I do not want my sister humiliated when Lavan’s plans foil and Yaacov discovers it’s Leah who he’s marrying and not me’.

By Rachel giving over the signs, it fortified the marriage between Yaacov and Leah and through that union producing six out of the twelve tribes. In essence, Rachel sacrificed her having all of the twelve tribes because she did not want her sister Leah to be humiliated.

The question Rabbi Olbaum asks, ‘I understand there’s no street lights and it’s properly pitch dark, but didn’t Yaacov realize it’s not Rachel he’s with? Even the breathing of a person is recognizable. If Yaacov was so careful with the signs, then wouldn’t he be as diligent and on the alert at this crucial juncture too? Nevertheless, the next morning he was surprised. How can that be?

Our sages teach us that Rachel’s virtue was modesty, to such an extent that the sensitive Yaacov wasn’t able to discover and recognize her scent and voice. This characteristic of Rachel’s embracement of modesty enabled Leah to be saved. If it were any other woman, she would have been discovered. Clothing is the face of modesty; it creates a barrier from sinning. David, who is the descendant of Leah (from the tribe of Yehuda) cut the garment of Shaul (from the descendants of Rachel).

In essence, you cut the hand that feeds you. If it weren’t for Rachel, where would Leah be? The modesty of Rachel saved Leah. David targeted one of the strengths of Shaul who also practiced, and was known for modesty, just like his ancestor. Seemingly, this lack of respect was a grave sin.

We see modesty is one of the building blocks of Judaism and clothing is its vehicle. One of the reasons a Jew wears a Talit or Tzitzit is because it is a spiritual garment in which G-d gave us. It too is a garment that represents the foundation of Judaism to the highest degree.

Are You Aware of Your Talents?
   spark plug

 

Because of Thanksgiving, last week was a short week, and yours truly had to submit the articles for this amazing newsletter earlier then the usual time. Unfortunately, because of the pressure of the early bird special, I forgot to submit a dedication for my Grandfathers yartziet.

I’m not known as a person with tendency to execrate sarcasm, as my wife would complain, is more of an accurate description of me. So if I say that my grandfather was one of the best, if not thee best Chazzan (cantor) in the Bukharian community in Israel during the period 1935-1970, it’s safe to believe the accuracy of the statement.

My grandfather, Moshe Kimyagaroff z’l, had enormous talent and a lion of a voice. It’s a shame I wasn’t able to hear him in his hey-day; I guess that’s life. Perhaps, I believe, the most important aspect of his talents is that he always gave his all; he never held back.

A very important lesson comes to mind in Tanach (prophets). There was a very talented chazzan named Navot. Three times a year, Shavuot, Sukkoth, and Pesach, many of the Jews all over Israel would walk to Jerusalem to participate in the Temple ceremonies of sacrifices and festivities. These three holidays till today are known as the Shalosh Regalim (3 legs, walking to the temple).

Apparently, Navot fell under the trap of being pampered as a result of his extremely talented voice. His moodiness made him a bit lax and he felt the trip to Jerusalem was a bit much on one of the Holidays (shalosh regalim). So he decided to skip it.

The sages describe G-d as being angry with Navot. ‘I gave you a beautiful voice purposely so you can sing and beautify the holiday, and you don’t want toperform. The voice I gave you was to be utilized and if you’re not performing and using the tools and talents I gave you. Well, maybe you don’t belong here.’

Soon after, the wicked king of Israel (kingdom was split in two: Judah and Israel), Achav, took a liking to Navot’s vineyard and expressed interest in buying it. Navot mistakenly refused which propelled Achav to desire it more. Achav was so distraught that he desperately placed his wife Izevel in charge, who framed Navot with treason. She had him and his family executed.

The sages teach us this was the result of not using the gifts that G-d had given. We all are given gifts that we have to bring out to this world and perform. Sometimes, those gifts are apparent to all; sometimes not. Although, we think we are talented in some areas, it’s not so; it’s just something we like. A person, for example, wants to be a singer/actor and perform on stage because he wants to be famous and be applauded; that’s not talent, that’s trying to satisfy the ego. One should not get tricked by his bad traits and pursue something he might regret later.

In the case of making a living, some go in to their father’s business, even though they don’t have the knack or talent for it. One has to figure out where his gifts lie. The Chovot Halevavot says one has to make use of his natural talents.

When the Jews were in the desert and they were constructing the Mishkan (Temple), everyone was asked to volunteer what they are skilled in. This was difficult and new to our ancestors at the time, because they had just come out from slavery and were not privileged to express themselves. But with heart and soul, they each brought out their best.

We have to take advantage of our freedom and to make it a priority to find out where our talents lie, whether for making a living or just to better our lives.

Is There a Section in the Yellow Pages for a Kabbalist? 
   parking ticket

            If one asks most Americans the question, whom do they confide in the most? Many would have on top of their list, a therapist. If one asks a religious Jew, especially from Sephardic origin, who they confide in the most, who’s on top of their list? They would answer a kabbalist. No one should leave home without one. How can any one survive without a kabbalist? Everyone wants to have the edge on life, and a kabbalist provides that crucial information. But does it really make a difference following their advice?

After hearing this Gemara, (Tractate Succah), one may have second thoughts. One day King Solomon see’s the angel of death feeling sad, sitting hunched over. ‘Why are you so sad?’ King Solomon asks. ‘I have to kill these two good looking and strong slaves’, replied the angel of death. Shlomo realized these two slaves are two of his trusted servants. He immediately summoned them and instructed them to quickly, with armed guards, run to Luz. Luz is a secret town, which no one ever dies. Only a few know how to get there. The servants were escorted by King Solomon’s trusted guards to Luz. When they finally reached the entrance of Luz, they unexpectedly meet the angel of death. He takes out his sword and kills them both. The next morning, King Solomon see’s the angel of death happy and smiling from ear to ear. ‘Why are you so happy?’ Shlomo asks. The angel of Death replied ‘you tried to outsmart me, well, you can’t outsmart an old fox. These two slaves were destined to die at the gates of Luz; but there was no way to get them to that destination. How am I going to get them there? I asked. I threw the fish in the water and you took the bait.’

When a person is destined to be somewhere, he’ll be there, no matter what. If one starts to play around with an extra-terrestrial being, doing hocus pocus, hee-gee gee-bee, well, somehow it seems like it might be futile. One has to use his own abilities and know-how through his absorption of the Torah to guide him in life. One should not rely on a kabbalist. Unfortunately, the hardest seller of this article is yours truly. It’s awfully tempting. Isn’t it?

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Toldos

 

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Toldos

November 24, 2011
27 Cheshvan, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Toldos Highlights
Parshat Toldos – Why Did Jacob Receive the Prestigious Bracha in Such a Manor – Stealing?
A Lesson to be Learned from the Penn State Scandal
The Bar Mitzvah Boy Who Pulled a Fast One

 

Parshat Toldos Highlights

 

▪ The parsha starts off by reaffirming Isaac is, in fact, Abraham’s son; the commentaries mentioned he even looked like his father. This was purposely done by G-d because Abraham and Sarah could not have kids for many years and people might doubt that Isaac was really his.

 

▪ After years of Isaac and Rivka not having children, Rivka is finally pregnant with twins.

 

▪ Rivka gives birth to Eisav, who has a full head of red hair. The second child that is born is named Yaacov.

 

▪ Isaac loves Eisav while Rivka loves Yaacov.

 

▪ Eisav sells his birthright for a cup of soup to his brother Yaacov (the incident occurred the day their grandfather Abraham dies).

 

▪ There’s a famine in the land and Isaac and Rivka go to Avimelech, King of the Philistines. Puzzling the script is the same as his father Abraham, who went down with Sarah, his wife, to both Philistine and Egypt. Isaac tells the king the same story as his father did, many years before, ‘she’s (Rivka) my sister’. The reason is people might kill me so they can take my wife. Avimelech finds out it’s his wife and orders ‘anyone touches this woman will be killed’.

 

▪ The Philistines felt threatened by Isaac’s successes in Gerar. They did not honor his treaty with his father by filling the wells in which Abraham dug forcing Isaac to leave. Isaac settled in the valley of Gerar where he dug three wells and successfully found water.

 

▪ Avimelech makes a treaty with Isaac.

 

▪ Eisav finds wives that are not appropriate.

 

▪ Isaac asks Eisav to hunt and make him his favorite meal so he can give him an important blessing.

 

▪ Yaacov deceives Isaac and impersonates Eisav on instructions from his mother and goes and receives the bracha from his blind father.

 

▪ Eisav vows to kill Yaacov.

 

▪ Rivka is not happy with the quality of the girls in Canaan; she convinces Isaac to send Yaacov to her family in Padena Aram.

 

▪ Eisav saw that Isaac sent Yaacov to Padena Aram to find a wife. He too realized the Caanite women were not good. So he marries the daughter of Yishmael, his uncle.

Parshat Toldos – Why Did Jacob Recieve the Prestigious Bracha in Such a Manor – Stealing?
abraham's tent

One of the most puzzling questions in the Torah is why did Yaacov have to demean himself to an uncharacteristic extent and resort to stealing the most prestigious bracha of all time? Secondly, and equally puzzling, his mother – of all people – is the mastermind. It’s as if these personalities, our beloved ancestors (strait laced honest Yaacov and his beloved mother Rivka) have taken on different characters for this role, for this operation, ‘OPERATION: GET THE BRACHA’. It seems kind of odd. Rav Gedalia Schorr (Or Gedalyahu) offers a riveting answer. He says, both of Issac’s sons, Yaacov and Eisav have come to correct the character of the first man, Adam. Yaacov before the sin and Eisav after the sin.

We’re able to derive from the Chumash that both boys, Yaacov and Eisav, were exceptionally talented in their own right. Each brother, according to the Zohar, had an equally important mission to better the world and eventually pave the road for the quick arrival of the Mashiach. We see from the Scripture, ‘ish tam yoshev ohalim’ (wholesome man abiding in tents) referring to Yaacov. His mission was to expand knowledge of math, science, and philosophy, as well as increase sensitivity towards fellow man, etc., through the Torah and through G-d’s words. Yaacov’s task was to appeal to people (the elite) who are already committed to G-d but want to expand their horizons in spirituality. This scenario is similar to the state of Adam in Gan Eden before the sin, which were basically, to increase G-d’s message, and having the luxury of very minimal intervention of the evil forces.

Eisav, on the other hand, had a different task. His mission was to convince the people of the world who are not believers. He was given the talent of ‘ish yodeah tzayid’ (a man who knows how to hunt). A hunter tricks his prey by setting traps; these traps are set through clever words combined with illusions and stretching the truth. G-d empowered Eisav with the ability to fight the evil powers by tricking it. One needs all different kinds of props and sparks to motivate oneself and overcome the negative powers so it can be easier to believe in G-d. Eisav was also given the ability to enjoy physical pleasures so he can show the world you can enjoy physicality and also serve G-d to the utmost.

However, Eisav used his tools in a wrong way. Instead of overpowering the evil powers, they overpowered him. He used his tremendous talents of hunting, giving, and receiving pleasures, for his own satisfaction. With those powerful tools used incorrectly, he became a dangerous monster on a collision course to destroy the world.

It was his mother, Rivka, who realized Eisav’s failure. She knew the importance to fill the void that Eisav has abandoned. The logical choice was Yaacov, who would now be required to fulfill both roles. This strait laced honest man now must show the ability to trick and stretch the truth and be a hunter as well as his natural ability to enhance the world intellectually.

Therefore, Yaacov receives the crucial bracha transformed into both Eisav and himself.

As Jews, we have a double task of both Yaacov and Eisav in the world. This very difficult responsibility entitles us to be the chosen people. That is the reason we, as Jews, are always looked under a magnifying glass.

A Lesson to be Learned From the Penn State Scandal 
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In the last few weeks we discovered ugliness in the establishment of American pride. Penn State, which has one of the most prestigious college football programs in the country, has been hit by scandal. One of their former top assistant coaches was accused of raping a minor (10 year old boy) in the shower at the athletic facility on campus by a graduate assistant coach. The incident occurred in 2002.The graduate assistant coach, Mike McQueary, did not stop the violator, Jerry Sandusky, at the time of the occurrence; although the next day, he did report the incident to his superior, the famous and legendary Penn State head coach, Joe Paterno. Paterno, in turn, also informed his superiors.The fact that McQueary did not stop him (Sandusky raping the boy) resulted in many reported death threats against him. I gave a fascinating lecture last week (there is a link to it on Torahanytime.com) on what goes through the mind of a person who is confronted with this situation. What does one do upon seeing your superior, mentor, and friend in a position committing a crime? It’s a very interesting lecture and I suggest it not be missed.

But it’s important to note, the hierarchy of the school didn’t report it to the police. Although some speculate the power and influence in which Coach Paterno had enabled the case to be swept under the rug; regardless if it was reported to the police. To tarnish the reputation of the school and its beloved coaching staff might be a far greater sin.

Penn State College football is a moneymaking machine and its coach is legendary. Who would want to break up this mega giant?

A week after the story broke, out eight more boys (now they’re older) came out as victims of Sandusky. The number as of November 18 is at forty, and unfortunately is increasing. In 2002, Mike McQueary, Joe Paterno and co. (Coach Joe Paterno and the President of the Penn State have since been fired) had a chance to stop this monster and they didn’t. Now there are 40 potential predators whose lives were ruined and possibly will go out and ruin other lives. This is the result, as Dr Neil Levey suggests, having their (Penn State administration and athletic dept) priorities misplaced. They asked themselves what’s more important; we know their answer.

I read something very interesting by Rav Henoch Leibowitz z”l (in his book Chidushea Halev on this week’s Parsha) which pertains to the above shame. When Eisav found out that Yaacov stole the brachot, he screamed loud and troublesome, out of despair. The sages suggested that many hundreds of years later, as a measure for measure, the Jews screamed loud and troublesome, out of despair, upon hearing the decree of destruction that Eisav’s descendant, Haman orchestrated against them. But why was Yaacov (the Jews, his descendants) punished? Yaacov followed his mother’s advice. She actually convinced him (and he knew it himself) the brachot are important for the continuation of the world and he has to take the responsibility of not only his, but also his brother Eisav. Therefore he was required to take the bracha at any cost.

The reason is, Rav Henoch suggests that Yaacov didn’t feel enough pain in his heart for his brother losing the bracha. Even though he didn’t deserve it, there should have been certain sadness in Yaacov. It’s our duty to feel for our brethren even though it has no bearings on us. This is what is expected of us. Feel for your brother.

If one does not have sensitivities to his fellow to the highest degree, then eventually relationships will degenerate. Here, the priorities and morals of the Penn State hierarchy were not proper. A human being is not so important. They didn’t want to puncture the school’s image; now that’s important! It would cause them great financial loss. Money and image were more important than human beings. With many universities, it is not about higher education and being a better mentch, it’s a cash cow and it’s our duty to milk the system, stepping on anybody that gets in the way. After all, isn’t this what America is all about?

The Bar Mitzvah Boy Who Pulled a Fast One 
   parking ticket

I was at a Bar Mitzvah a few weeks ago and a friend, Uri, asked me to play Sherlock Holmes and solve this case:
Question: Two boys are born the same year, Avi who is older then Ronny by a week.  But when they reached Bar Mitzvah, Ronny will be a Bar Mitzvah first by at least 3 weeks. How is that possible?
Answer: During a leap year, there are 2 Adar’s, Adar Aleph and Adar Bet.  Avi was born the 29th of Adar Aleph while Ronny was born the 3rd of Adar Bet. When their Bar Mitzvah year rolled around, there was only one Adar. Since Ronny was born on the 3rd of Adar, he goes first while Avi has to wait till the 29th.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Chayei Sarah

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Chayei Sarah

November 17, 2011
20 Cheshvan, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Chayei Sarah Highlights
Parshat Chayei Sarah – The Art of Adapting
Source of Tradition
Important Note Before Shabbat

Parshat Chayei Sarah Highlights
 

* We open the parsha with the narrative accounting of Sarah’s (Abraham’s wife) age, implying that she has passed on.

 

* Abraham buys a burial plot (Ma’arat Hamachpela) from Efron Hachiti (this is where Adam and Eve are buried).

 

* Abraham sends Eliezer, his trusted advisor, to Charan, to find a wife for his son Yitzchak.

 

* As Eliezer arrives at the outskirts of Charan, he camps by the well where a young girl offers to serve him and his camels water. Eliezer’s prayers were answered because the girl who showed the tremendous kindness was none other than Rivka, the daughter of Betuel, Abraham’s relative. Eliezer knew he has met Yitzchak’s soul mate.

 

* Eliezer consummates the deal with Rivka’s family; here, we are introduced to Lavan, Rivka’s brother, for the first time.

 

* Eliezer brings her home to Yitzchak where they become husband and wife.

 

* Abraham marries Keturah (Rashi says she is Hagar) where she bears him 6 sons, all of which got presents and were sent away; meaning they were not the primary sons of Abraham.

 

* Abraham dies at the age 175 and his sons Yitzchak and Yishmael bury him.

 

* Yishmael dies.

Parshat Chayei Sarah – The Art of Adapting
abraham's tent

In life, one must learn to adapt to a situation, whether it be work, school, marriage, birth, death, diet, or with friends. No matter how harsh living conditions may be, no matter how difficult the environment, no matter how irritating or obnoxious the person, a human being is able to adapt and survive. But, we shall shortly learn from the teaching of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, that there is an important ingredient, which should be infused in the process of adapting, in order for it to be successful.

It is this message, which will clarify to us the difference between Abraham’s reaction to G-d’s command to bring his son Yitzchak as a sacrifice, as opposed to that of his wife Sarah. Abraham was eager to fulfill G-d’s command. Sarah, on the other hand, when she heard what had transpired, could not bear the news, and died instantly. How can two great people have reacted so differently to the same event? What makes this question even more puzzling, was that Sarah was on a higher level then her husband in prophecy.

The answer is that Abraham was made aware in agradual manner that Yitzchak was to be brought as a sacrifice, thus allowing his feelings and emotions to adapt to the challenge awaiting him. G-d told him ‘Take your son’ then ‘your only son whom you love’. Only then did he inform him that Yitzchak was to be sacrificed.Thus, if Abraham had been confronted suddenly that it was Yitzchak who was to be sacrificed, he would not have survived. It was the gradual realization of this fact that made him digest this. He was therefore able to perform G-d’s command. Such was not the case with Sarah who was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization of what had happened and died resulting from the shock.

Another example of how delicate and gradual one must be, is G-d’s reaction after Adam sinned by eating from the tree of knowledge. G-d appeared close to Adam and asked ‘Where are you?’ G-d knew where Adam was, but He wanted to confront him in a manner that he would not be startled. The guilt of his sin was overwhelming; any sudden confrontation would have emotionally destroyed Adam.

Let’s not forget Serach bat Asher, the granddaughter of our father Yaacov, who played the harp singing ‘Yosef (his favorite son who was presumed dead for 22 years) is still alive and living in Egypt’. The overwhelming sudden joy would have been proven too much and would have killed him. Serach presented it in a delicate, clever gradual way in which Yaacov was able to comprehend without the shocking affect.

The Gemarah (Sotah13a) states that soon after Yaacov’s death, seventeen years later, when Yaacov’s sons were taking his body to the Cave of Machpela for burial, a confrontation took place between his sons and his evil brother Eisav. Eisav came and protested that the plot of land (Cave of Machpela) belonged to him. A debate ensued and it was decided that one of the brothers would return to Egypt and retrieve the deed to show that Yaacov indeed owned the property.

A deaf grandson Chushim (son of Naftali) wondered, why the cause of the delay? When they communicated with him, he exclaimed ‘What? Our grandfather will lie in degradation until the deed is brought?’ whereupon he immediately killed Eisav.

Why was Chushim, a grandson, more concerned about Yaacov’s honor than Yaacov’s own sons? Rav Chaim answers, all the brothers had been slowly drawn into the argument with Eisav, gradually dulling their sensitivity to their father’s shame. Chushim, being deaf, was completely unaware of the situation. When he realized the reason for the delay, he could not contain his anger and killed Eisav.

One has to be aware of the delicate nature of man. He has to approach situations gradually. Furthermore, man must be aware and use his most powerful tool ‘to speak’  properly by delivering news, whether good or bad, gradually, so the process of adapting should go smoothly and successfully.

Source of Tradition 
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             At the beginning of this week’s parsha, we find Abraham busy arranging his wife Sarah’s funeral. Although the Bible is not a history book, it also does not show the emotional side of our forefathers either. However, through our traditions and our other sources that depict the human emotional side, we are able to feel the pulse of our ancestors. Such is the case of Abraham, in this difficult situation of the death of his beloved wife.

We learn from our sages that Abraham and Sarah were very close and showed tremendous respect for each other. They had a common goal and sought to accomplish it through their different personalities. Abraham was charismatic and outgoing, while Sarah’s virtue was modesty.

One should note that one of the most beautiful experiences of love for a Jew is the Friday night Shabbat table (if its performed correctly); and one of the traditions is for a husband to recite (sing) eshet chayil (woman of valor) in front of his wife. In this recitation, which is found in the last chapter of King Solomon’s Mishlai, it describes the virtue of the beloved wives of Israel. The sages and many commentaries are in unison that eshet chayil is based on the emotional eulogy in which Abraham presented at his wife Sarah’s funeral. As far as tradition goes this piut, (poem) goes back 4000 years to that emotional day when there wasn’t a dry-eyed person listening to Abraham express his love, one last time, for his wife.

The family is brought together Friday night, when the power of Shabbat focuses on bringing the family closer through love and respect, just as Abraham had for his wife Sarah.

Important Note Before Shabbat 
   parking ticket

            Did you know that if one lights Shabbat candles on a table, even after the candles are extinguished on the table upon which it was standing, the table cannot be moved until after Shabbat is over. The table is muktzah.

Muktzah items are those that are not allowed to be moved on Shabbat. It’s a rabbinical law created as a fence to prevent one from stumbling and violating Shabbat. These preventive measures are fences, which are essential to the survival and to our commitment of the commandment ‘keeping the Shabbat’.

I can understand why one can’t move the table while the candles are lit; the reason is, candles are more prone to be put out while moving and one might be tempted to light them again, therefore violating the Shabbat.

But why can’t one move the table after the candles are no longer lit? The answer is, the lit candles and the tables, which was muktzah during the period of bein hashmashot, are at a frozen state until after Shabbat.

Bein hashmashot is a time period between sunset and nightfall that many commentaries say has an unknown status of what day it belongs to. One can also reach tremendous spiritual heights during this period, especially Friday afternoon before Shabbat. If I may ask the readers, what is the most important prayer of the year? The answer is ‘Neilah’ on Yom Kippur, which is purposely said during bein hashmashot. The reason being is that during bein hashmashot on Friday is when Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, sinned. Therefore, we try to fix their mistake. Apparently, if one notices that on many occasions, there is friction between a husband and wife during this time. One has to rectify and be extra careful and to know that he should try to withstand any hardships at bein hashmashot, and then he will reap tremendous rewards. Perhaps this is why the prayer eshet chayil (woman of valor) is said Friday night at the Shabbat table after bein hashmashot, after the uncomfortable nature Adam and Eve had towards one another. Eshet chayil is reconciliation and is to reaffirm the commitment of husband and wife.

Rabbi Akiva Tatz mentions that when one passes on to the next world, there is an unknown status between life and death where the person experiences nothing but darkness. During this period, the evil powers tries to convince the individual, “you see there is nothing here; all this talk about life after death and heaven is all nonsense. It was just a farce that the Rabbis wanted you to believe.” If one believes and is convinced this is true, he loses everything; he loses it all. His status, which consists of his thoughts and belief at that moment, is frozen for eternity. He could have been a big tzadik all his life, but lose it all at that crucial moment of in-between. This is the reason that it’s recommended for a loved one to say shema yisrael when one leaves the world. The soul is in a scared and confused state; it needs strength from any source it can get.

We tend to rush and lose our cool trying to get all things done before Shabbat. Please use caution during this period.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Nitzavim- Vayelech

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience

Nitzavim-Vayeilech

Septmeber 22, 2011
23 Elul, 5771

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

Please note: We regret to inform you of the passing of a leader, and a spark plug to the small close-knit, as well as a pioneer of the Bukharian community of the 1960’s, Ariyeh Haimoff z’l.

 

SPECIAL EVENT ALERT!!! 
TUESDAY OCT 4TH, 2011 (BETWEEN ROSH HASHANA & YOM KIPPUR)
Rabbi Avi Matmon will explain the essence of the High Holiday prayers. He will be joined by chazanim, the renowned and naim zemirot, Avi Perets, and the new age Bukarian chazan Ruben Ebragimov, as well as others, who will bring out the emotions from the holy words through their singing. They will, with G-d’s help, inspire and give us an understanding so we can pray to the highest level and achieve a place in the book of life. Our event will be held on October 4th at the Bukharian Center located at 106-16 70th Ave, Forest Hills, NY. Refreshments will be served at 8:00 pm. At 8:30 pm sharp, the event will begin. The event will also be broadcasted live on Torahanytime.com at 8:30 pm.
In This Issue
Why Do We Blow the Shofar 100 Times?
Give Me Life
Rosh Hashanah Tidbits

Why Do We Blow the Shofar 100 Times?
blowing shofar

The Chazanim (cantors) Rabbis, and the person who tokes the shofar (shofar blower) are all meticulously careful that there should be 100 sounds blown before the crucial mussaf prayer. One may ask, why 100 sounds?Rabbi Berel Wein mentions one reason, which we learned from a famous incident that happened at the time of the shoftim (Judges).

Our ancestors were in constant war with their neighbors, the Pilishteem. Similarly, today one can identify with the conflict of our Arab neighbors. The Pelishteem army was led by the strong and mighty General Sisra who terrorized opposing countries. Sisra was a startling, frightening figure and is best described similarly as a mixture of Ivan the Terrible and George Patton.

The Jews were led by Devorah and her general Barak ben Avinoam who with G-d’s help were defeating the Pilishteem army. Sisra realized the end was imminent and fled. As he was escaping, he meets Yael who realized who he is. She brought him into her home where she fed him and gave him wine. He found comfort in Yael who seduced him. When Sisra was sleeping, Yael, who was loyal to the nation of Israel, killed him.

It is written in the ‘Song of Devora’, in the book of Prophets, Sisra’s mother was waiting by the window for her son to return. She saw the injured solders limping back from battle; she witnessed the broken war carriages. However, there was no sign of the great warrior, her son, Sisra. The text describes her waiting by the window and coming to the inevitable conclusion that her son was never coming home. Realizing this, she begins to cry and wail 100 sounds. The sages say this is the reason why we blow the shofar 100 sounds.

One may ask what’s the connection between Sisra’s non-Jewish mother, wailing for her son’s return, and the Jewish congregation listening to shofar blowing on one of the holiest days of the year?

Sisra’s mother was privileged; she came from a picture perfect prestigious family. She was a straight-A student who was a prom queen beauty. She was head cheerleader who married the star quarterback leader of the football team. They had a big house with many cars, maids, a butler, a dog named Lassie, and many kids who each went on to become successful in their own right. She never saw a cloudy day in her life. Whatever she touched, with no effort, turned to gold. Sisra’s mother felt she was in charge of her own destiny.

However, for the first time in her life, she felt she was not in control; someone else was pulling the strings and that someone else was G-d. So she turned to G-d out of feeling inadequacy and hopelessness, acknowledging ‘it’s not me but someone higher above.’

When they blow the shofar during the High Holiday, one should feel that G-d runs the world and He is in control of our lives. Granted, we have to make an effort and some of us have seen tremendous success. However, at the end of the day, G-d is always in charge. This is what Sisra’s mother felt at that moment.

Give Me Life
   prayer-shemona esrei

            One of the major and important prayers we have in which we say three times a day and a fourth on Shabbat, is the Amida (literally means standing). This prayer is also called shemona esray (eighteen brachot). When we say the Amida, we take three steps backward and then three forward, and we pray in silence. The concentration should be so intense that talking is prohibited.

The Amida is divided into three parts 1) praise 2) request, or in a crude language ‘give me’ 3) acknowledgement. The structure of the prayers is so meticulously precise that one marvels of its construction. It seems like the sages took care of business providing us with the optimal dosage of prayer power so we can be in a better standing with G-d. During the days of Awe (Rosh Hashanah, the days of repentance and Yom Kippur), a number of additions are placed in our prayers. One of which is zachrainu lechaim, (remember us and keep us alive). A very curious question has been asked about this phrase; it seems like it’s in the wrong category; it should be with the ‘”give me’s” which is in category two. Why is it in the category of praise?

My father z’l always said the five fingers on the hand are all different; each finger is unique; each individual is also unique. Rav Gedalya Schorr compares the world to an orchestra. Each individual with his uniqueness has a part, which no one else can perform, and if he doesn’t perform, he doesn’t play his instrument, and the orchestra is not the same. Therefore we see that each individual brings his gift to the table and no one else can duplicate it.

When we say ‘Remember us in the book of life’; it’s not a gimmie, because the end of the statement says ‘lema’anach’ (We’re doing it for You. We are bringing our own uniqueness to serve You in whom nobody else can.) Therefore, our contribution is essential; it is part of the existence of the world and we should have it in mind that we’re doing it for G-d.

Rosh Hashanah Tidbits
 rosh hashanah

A popular custom is not to nap on Rosh Hashanah before midday (Jewish midday) because if you do, you’ll possibly have a sleepy year.

There is a custom to pray the shacharit amida (morning prayer – where one stands, legs bound together in silence) early – precisely at sunrise. People who want to start off the year on a good note achieve this. The reason being, our patriarch Avraham was tested in his belief in G-d, to sacrifice his son that he loved, for the sake of G-d. The angel stopped him and a ram was substituted in his place. We ride the coattails of Avraham that on his behalf, we should be written in the book of life.

This is one of the main themes of the holiday. It says that Avraham got up early to perform G-d’s request; if one wants to receive merit on His behalf, then he should emulate Him in every way.

A second reason is, there are two opinions when the mussaf prayer should be said. The popular opinion (the chachamim) is that it can be said all day. The other opinion (Rav Yehuda) is, 6 hours from daybreak. In order to be safe and follow all opinions, especially on judgment week, we try to beat the clock and finish mussaf within the six hours.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Ki Savo

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience

Ki Savo

Septmeber 15, 2011
17 Elul, 5771

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

SPECIAL EVENT ALERT!!! 
TUESDAY OCT 4TH, 2011 (BETWEEN ROSH HASHANA & YOM KIPPUR)
Rabbi Avi Matmon will explain the essence of the High Holiday prayers. He will be joined by chazanim, the renowned and naim zemirot, Avi Perets, and the new age Bukarian chazan Ruben Ebragimov, as well as others, who will bring out the emotions from the holy words through their singing. They will, with G-d’s help, inspire and give us an understanding so we can pray to the highest level and achieve a place in the book of life. More information will follow in our next issue.
In This Issue
Rewards Collected on Rosh Hashanah
The Evil Lavan – Parsha Ki Savo
Why is the Apple Known as the Symbolic Fruit of Rosh Hashanah?

Rewards Collected on Rosh Hashanah
freedom of religion
The main objective for the Jewish people is to get a good verdict on Rosh Hashanah. The pasuk says ‘All of the Jewish People will be judged on Rosh Hashanah.’ The sages ask, ‘Why does the pasuk have to use the extra word ‘all ‘; it could have just begun ‘the Jewish people…’ Perhaps the Torah is including others who are also to be judged.

The sages teach us that on Rosh Hashanah, the deceased are also being judged. People who are no longer living are derived from the word ‘all’. But how can that be possible? They are no longer here. What are they being judged for? They didn’t do any mitzvot or averot; they’re on the inactive list. In fact, we learn that when we go to a cemetery, one cannot wear his tzitzit out of his pants like some people do because it might get the deceased jealous since they are unable to perform mitzvot, while we the living are commanded to wear tzitzit daily. So as it is frequently said in sports, ‘they’re sitting on the bench’ they’re not players.

Perhaps in answering this question we must look back in history at the tail end of the period called ‘the golden age’ of Spain. For many years, Spain was considered – along with France and Portugal – the super powers of the world. Also, for the only time in Jewish history, there was an ultra-orthodox Jew in one of the highest political seats in the country. Abarbanel, who happened to be one of the mainstream commentaries on the Chumash (Bible), was also the finance minister, a very powerful position. After many years of prosperity, the economy began to go south and anybody who is an astute historian knows the Jews are the first to be blamed. With the exception of today’s America, the golden age in Spain was the most prosperous periods in the history of the Jews. They also enjoyed tremendous religious freedom. Apparently, all that came to an end as the Spanish inquisition began and the Jews were given the choice of converting to Christianity, expulsion or death.

Years later, in the introduction to one of his books, Abarbanel writes, ‘I regret ever taking public office. The only reason why I took that position was to make it easy and comfortable for Jews to learn our precious Torah, and I failed’.

No, Abarbanel, you did not fail, you just miscalculated. You see, Abarbanel was the finance minister who financed Christopher Columbus’s infamous discovery trip to America. His dream to see Jews comfortable and have the religious freedom was delayed about 500 years. Every time a Jew goes to a park anywhere in America, north or south, and opens up an ArtScroll (Torah translation) Gemarah and learns, enjoying the freedom of religion and speech, Abarbanel gets credit; he gets a percentage; he gets a cut of what that Jew learned. It seems like he had a tremendous influence on American Jewry.

Sometimes we do a good deed and don’t see the reward right away. One never knows when the fruits of the labor start to kick in.

 

From the shiurim of Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt who quoted Rabbi Berel Wein.

The Evil Lavan – Parsha Ki Savo
 sinister person

             In bringing the bikurim (first ripe fruits in the land of Israel which were taken to the temple and given to the Kohen), the person bringing them tells the story of our past and mentions the very first miracle, which occurred to Israel (Devarim 26:5). ‘An Armenian wanted to destroy my father’. Lavan the Armenian, wanted to uproot all by destroying our forefather Yaakov.

Lavan was the uncle and father-in-law of Yaakov, who tricked him by switching Rachel, the sister of choice, with Leah, at their wedding ceremony to Yaakov. Yaakov eventually married Rachel as well as two of her other sisters, Bilah and Zilpah. This made the number of wives at four. But Lavan made him work extra for Rachel. We see throughout the chapter that Lavan had attempted – and at times succeeded – in tricking his son-in-law.

Abarbanel explains that Lavan was the one by his actions that caused Yosef (the son of Yaakov and Rachel), to be sold to Egypt and Yaakov to go into exile in the land. It was Lavan’s evil ways, which caused the feuding between Yaakov’s sons, which led them to eventually sell Yosef to Egypt. Yaakov’s sons would simply not have been able to act that way if there had not been a drop of their grandfather, Lavan’s blood in their veins.

There were two reasons why Yaakov ran away from his home to Lavan’s house. At his parents’ request, the first reason – the potential marriage match with Rachel, and the second reason was that his older twin brother Eisav wanted to kill him. So Yaakov spent 22 years at Lavan’s house. There is the obvious question, eventually Eisav found out the whereabouts of his brother, Yaakov, so why didn’t he kill him? He didn’t pursue Yaakov until he left Lavan’s house. Why did he wait?

Eisav – with all his bravery – impressively defeated the great warrior, Nimrod, but was afraid of only one person, Lavan. Lavan was the most powerful man on earth. How, one may ask, did he succeed in reaching this position?

An additional question that should be asked – why was Lavan frantically searching for the terafim? It didn’t seem to be idol worship. Rachel stole her father’s terafim because she didn’t want him to use them. What is the significance of the terafim?

According to Yonatan ben Uziel, the zohar, and Tana debay Eliyahu, Lavan was the master of black magic and his biggest weapon was terafim. There is, according to the evil spirits, an importance to a seventh generation firstborn, and Lavan was able to figure who they are. He would murder them and sever their heads, where we would perform various acts of black magic on the body parts, manipulating it, making them talk. As a result of this ritual, he was able to reveal secrets of the world (insider trading). Lavan would have a tremendous edge on everything in life where he would take advantage in the cruelest way.

Yaakov was advised to go to Lavan’s house because Eisav was a seventh generation bechor, where it would be ill advised for Eisav to come near Lavan. Eventually, every child born comes with his own mazal. Yaakov saw the ability to withstand his brother, Eisav, with the birth of Yosef.

Man has the power to bring kedusha and evil to the world; it’s his choice. But one thing he should realize, he is going to be accountable for everything.

Why is the Apple Known as the Symbolic Fruit of Rosh Hashanah?
 apple and honey

              One of the sweetest childhood memories of Rosh Hashanah is eating the apple dipped in honey. I remember looking at the stack of apples on the beautiful and elegant table that Mom prepared and the scent of honey that was placed in small, fancy china plates all around the table. The question one may ask is, why apples? Why are apples first on the symbolic line of having a good sweet year?

If one recalls when Yaakov, our forefather, came disguised as his brother Eisav, at the urgent request of his mother to get the blessing from his blind father, Yitzchok, Yaakov was not exactly academy award material. This strait-laced pursuer of Emet (truth) almost blew it. His father said ‘you don’t sound like Eisav. Come here, I want to feel you’ (Eisav was hairy).

When he came close to his father, G-d made Yitzchok smell like the apple trees of Gan Eden (heaven). Yitzchok then knew no matter which son it is, it’s definitely the right one. G-d showed mercy on our forefather, Yaakov. Therefore, we pray and say ‘just like you had mercy on our father, so too you should have mercy on us.’

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Shoftim

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience

Shofetim

Septmeber 1, 2011
2 Elul, 5771

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

In This Issue
Are You a Leader Type?
Important Times of the Summer
Hurricane Irene & Your Best China

 Are You a Leader Type?
 leader

‘You may set a king over yourselves’ (Devarim 17:15), G-d told Moshe. Take Yehoshua the son of Nun, a man of spirit’. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz teaches us in the book, Sichot Mussar, the Torah is pinpointing the particular quality, which determined the selection of Yehoshua as the leader of the Jewish people, who would bring them into the land of Israel. We know that Moshe was denied entrance into the chosen land and therefore his replacement would have a crucial and monumental task in this pilgrimage. The leader after Moshe would have huge shoes to fill knowing that Moshe was considered the greatest leader we ever had. Although in hindsight, Yehoshua was an excellent leader, why was he chosen to take over for Moshe? There were far greater men than Yehoshua. In fact, the Baal Haturim, in his analogy of the Torah text, determines that there were thousands greater then him.

The Torah defines Yehoshua’s attitude for leadership as ‘a man of spirit’. What is the quality of ‘spirit’ that makes it the key qualification in assuming the mantle of leadership of Israel? Rashi, one of the main commentaries on the Chumash, defines it as: he is capable of adopting himself to each person in accordance with his personality. This was the intent of Moshe’s request. ‘Master of the Universe, each person’s disposition is manifest to You and they are not similar. Appoint a leader who will be able to tolerate each one according to his disposition. (Rashi, Bamidbar 27:16)

If one notices, this is a quality that many politicians seek to emulate. All too often we see presidential candidates set up a cameo scenario where they go to a blue color fast food restaurant, in the heart of America, jacket off and rolled-up sleeve and no utensils, having a hamburger with big Jim. The camera catches the candidates joking, schmoozing and knee-slapping, having a good time, like good old buddies. The candidate is painting a picture of ‘a man of spirit’; showing the voters that he can mingle with anybody.

Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz teaches us that one can achieve this leadership quality by mastering tolerance. Apparently, it is difficult to wear many different hats; one has to have patience and tolerate many difficult personalities as well as different social levels which can contradict your style of living. Then, after mastering tolerance (like a parent), he will be able to make the adjustment and achieve ‘spirit’, by having the ability to transform himself temporarily into that kind of social level. Perhaps then, it will be easy to ‘switch gears’ and even speak and act like the person whom he’s trying to accommodate.

Yehoshua was a master in his ability to accommodate each individual to his social needs. All of the Israelites felt comfortable with Yehoshuah bin Nun believing he’s their own kind, a man of spirit.

Important Times of the Summer
 kid w/ ice cream

           Can you believe the summer is coming to an end? It went so fast! It was just yesterday that I wrote about the excitement of anticipating having Marino’s Ices during those long summer hot days. I’ve been pushing off mentioning this fond memory, but does anybody remember Howard Johnson’s ice cream? My parents and I would walk on a warm evening to HoJo’s and meet others from our small close knit community and have pistachio ice cream. Back then, Queens was more suburbia and the white building with the red roof, which Howard Johnson’s was known for, like many stores like it, was a block long, situated around a beautiful landscape. Today they would never allow such valuable real estate to be wasted on a one-floor ice cream parlor; they would carve up the space into a ten-story office building and have a couple of flower plants at the front entrance. The past is a memory; summers come and go and time doesn’t wait; it just marches on.

          Rav Moshe Chaim Lutzatto writes in Mesilat Yesharim, one of the classic works in Jewish literature, that we have become like horses that run toward their destination without looking to the left or right. Perhaps we too, in our fast-paced high pressured American lifestyle are running, achieving our financial goals, but are missing out on some of the more important things in life.
          A number of years ago, I heard the unfortunate news of the sudden death of a friend David Kagen. A few weeks later, I received a phone call from a mutual friend, Ronny Alibayof, asking if we can get together for drinks. ‘It would be nice to hang out’ he said. Kagen’s death made him realize that life is too short; one never knows what’s going to happen tomorrow. Therefore, enjoy the company of your buddy today and have a couple of laughs with him. We have to take advantage and appreciate friends and loved ones.
          The Mesilat Yesharim teaches us through the sages, that King David was concerned, and suggested to hasten the coronation of his son Solomon to the thrown. The Talmud asks, wasn’t it destined that Shlomo be king? The Talmud answers, ‘many adverse affects could occur between now and Gichon (the place where Shlomo was to be coronated). The sages teach us that when one has a precious opportunity in your hands, take advantage before it is too late and time will pass.
          There have been many films and books written about one of the all time classic fantasies man has had since the creation of the world, and that is of entering into a time warp machine. Oh, how much fun will it be to spend one more moment with people that you never had a chance to say the proper goodbyes, or just wanting to experience the warm moment one more time?
           I think if one wants to feel good about their self, he should appreciate the people, experiences of the past, and apply that same appreciation and warm feeling to the people who are currently in his life. The biggest culprit is not realizing that time is passing, resulting in putting off the people most dear to you, thinking, ‘I have time’.
          I recently too my son to Carvel ice cream parlor, even though I was quite busy. Although it’s a lot smaller than in my days, nevertheless, the joy of ordering his favorite ice cream and seeing the pleasure in his eyes made me reminisce of those days at HoJo’s and how good I felt. I sat back and enjoyed the moment of watching him enjoy the moment of summer.

Hurricane Irene & Your Best China
washing dishes
The question is asked, if one lives in Far Rockaway, is one allowed to wash dishes after the Shabbat afternoon meal and put them away, knowing that an evacuation notice has been issued, and anticipating Hurricane Irene late Saturday night? Wow! Now that’s a loaded question. It sounds a bit far fetched, right?

We all know that one is not allowed to make any preparations on Shabbat, for after Shabbat. It says in the Torah ‘zachor’ (remember) and ‘shamor’ (watch) the Shabbat. By watching the Shabbat, one does not violate it (turning on lights, driving, etc). Remembering means to give it kavod, the proper respect and honor for this special day. For example, wearing fine clothes, presenting flowers to your wife at the Shabbat table, etc. Thus, even ordinary activities, which involve no melacha (activity which would violate Shabbat) and are perfectly permissible when done for Shabbat purposes, may not be done in preparation for after Shabbat. For example, if one has a dinner party Saturday night, the table cannot be set up on Shabbat. However, perishable goods and items which may break due to certain circumstances if left in an unsafe environment (would constitute a loss), therefore would be permitted to be put away and the food refrigerated.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Re’eh

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience

Re’eh

August 25, 2011
25 Av, 5771

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

In This Issue
Parshat Re’eh – Hard To Find Good Neighbors?
A Man With No Country
Kosher Alert

 Parshat Re’eh – Hard To Find Good Neighbors?
 neighborhood

In this week’s Parsha (Parshat Re’eh), (13:29-31), G-d warns the Jewish nation that when they will conquer the land, there is cause for concern that their ideology and everything good they built will be threatened. This is because of the temptation to follow the ways of your non-Jewish neighbors. Apparently, we learn from here that neighbors should not be taken lightly. They have a tremendous impact on us. Ahh, but one can say, I don’t go out partying with him; he’s not part of my chevra (group of exclusive buddies). However, a neighbor is always there and it’s hard not to bump into. One may inadvertently walk home together after temple on Shabbat. His wife may borrow a cup of sugar. One may have a quick pick-up game of two on two or even one-on-one in his driveway garage basketball game, since one is too lazy to go to the friend of choice, who is a little further away. The constant contact, the Baal Haturim in his commentary to Pirkei Avot says, forces the unavoidable influence. He goes so far to say that a neighbor has more influence than a good friend.

Rabbi Baruch Doppelt quotes Rashi (one of the mainstream commentaries on the Chumash) and says the reason Korach was able to influence Dassan and Aviram of his rebellious plan against Moshe in the desert by joining him was because they were neighbors. They absolutely had nothing to gain by this argument. It wasn’t their fight!! Dassan and Aviram lent a sympathetic ear to Korach after he had a hard day at the office. Before one knows it, you’re being dragged into battling a war that one doesn’t know how he got involved. Eventually they were all killed, both Korach and Dassan and Aviram, as the ground swallowed them up.

The same holds true with good neighbors. The tribes of Yehuda and Yissachar were known as tremendous talmidei chachamim (well-versed in Torah knowledge) because they all lived next to Moshe who had enormous Torah knowledge and dedication toward G-d. Apparently Moshe had made an impact on the neighboring tribes.

This neighborly influence has an effect on a broader scale. One adopts the culture and way of life of where he lives. This is evident by seeing Jews from different backgrounds taking up residence in their new country, America. Each one of these Jewish groups were influenced greatly by their neighboring Goyim (non-Jews).

One may joke of the humor of the popular scenario where a man is looking out of his window with binoculars while complaining to his wife about what the new neighbors are doing. ‘They’re so different then us ‘; one doesn’t realize but eventually not only will he get used to their differences, but start copying what they do. We don’t have much of a choice when new neighbors move in. However, when one is planning to move, he should first find out who is living next door. This should be on top of his list.

There was a slogan ad by State Farm Insurance many years ago; ‘And like a good neighbor State Farm is there’. Neighbors apparently are held in such high esteem that they are labeled as ‘always there for you’. Yes, they are there and influential.

A Man With No Country
 man w/ no country

        I often feel I’m not understood; does that sound familiar? But wait; seriously, there is a feeling of uniqueness among us. We’re a certain kind, and therefore one cannot hold it against us for not complying with any particular culture. Who is ‘my kind’ one may ask? Who is ‘us’? Well, let’s start from the united nation type background. My grandparents were Bukharian. Although both my parents were born there, they moved to Israel as children and consider themselves Israelis and I was born in the States, to be more precise, Boro Park. Like many of my kind, we moved to Queens and lived as a close-knit very small community. Most of us had a strong influential American Ashkenaz schooling through Yeshiva. I remember some of the kids in the class would ask us “what’s your background”, and we would answer “Bukharian.” They would look at us strangely and ask, “Where’s that?” They had no clue. If we would have answered ‘its part of Texas’, they would have believed us and truth be told, if it were convincing enough, we too would believe it as well. 

 

We’re not considered Ashkenaz American; they’ll be the first to testify to that. We’re not rough and tough enough to be Israeli. My mother-in-law always asks me “why didn’t you marry your own kind?” (My wife is born and bred in Bukharah). So if we are not any of the above….SO WHAT ARE WE???…ARE WE FROM MARS??!!

I’ve tried to bond with different cultures but I never really felt comfortable with any of them. It wasn’t home, and when I asked my fellow ‘men without countrieans’ (name created by fellow member Rafi Sharbat); they had the similar feeling.

Although there are advantages, Ofir Haimoff (one of the clubmembers) said we could appreciate every culture to the fullest whether it’s chulent or osevoh, (different Shabbat tables) understanding jokes and sarcasms or different music. We know what good things a particular culture has to offer and appreciate them like they do; ‘Men with-out countriean’ could fluctuate between cultures as easy as changing hats. One can go to different synagogues being aware how the service is ran and even lead it (hazan) and not feel awkward; the convenience of having a choice of more synagogues and the ability to tolerate certaincuisines in ‘high pressured-no time New York’ is a big plus. People, who are not like us, go to a Temple that’s not of their kind and feel like lost puppies. Another club member says I feel I’m not committed to anything; I’m a free bird. There is no pressure of ‘having to follow the Jones’. However – and trust it’s a big however – we’ll never feel at home anywhere.

 

 

Last year I gave a lecture on this topic and it was such a hit. I received so many responses. Someone stopped me in the street and said ‘I can really relate, we’re unique.’ The ironic thing is the person who approached me was Bukharian who came here from the Soviet Union when he was fifteen. If you think about it, there are 30,000 people with a similar background. If we had four Bukharians in our eighth grade class we felt important. He has an entire city just like him, how can he relate?! How absurd is that!!

 

Presumably, the reason many people feel a sense of not belonging, a feeling of seclusion, unable to express ourselves resulting in stifling our emotions and feeling too uncomfortable to disclose our inner thoughts, is because there is no common denominator. What do you mean, one may ask? I believe I found the answer.

 

I have a friend (Boaz Davidoff, fellow member) who made Aliya (moved to Israel) about ten years ago. The reason is because it is our Jewish homeland. He said ‘it was very difficult to make the adjustment in the beginning and I was very homesick. I still can’t swallow some of the characters and how the country is ran. However, surprisingly, I could get into an argument in the street with a stranger (which as an American I always made fun of) about politics, security, economics and religious issues very easily because I care. It’s my country. Yes, that’s correct, it’s my country; it’s the Jewish homeland; the land of my Fathers. I was never able to say that about Queens, New York, although, I grew up there. But the feeling I have for Israel is deeply rooted. I feel this is my home and all of us living here have a commitment to make this country flourish and work correctly. This is the common denominator we have.’

We read in birkat hamazon ‘thank you for giving us the good land’ our land, a land we can call home, which we can go especially for our fellow ‘men without countrieans.

 

 

 

 

Kosher Alert
bison

A good friend who happens to be in the catering business for a long time, Gershon Meirov (from the famous catering Meirov family) made me aware of something interesting this past week. The Chicago Rabbinical Council is taking the lead in this area and holding a conference on the topic of exotic kosher animals. The Torah draws the guidelines of what is kosher and what’s not, and we have a Mesorah (tradition) how to use those guidelines in helping us to determine what’s acceptable to eat and not. There are the classic meats that our ancestors have eaten traditionally (among those: chicken, sheep, lamb) but the list changed with the introduction of animals which were unknown due to coming to the new world (America).

The classic example is turkey, a virtually unknown species that was introduced in Europe in the 16th century to the elite, but popularized later in the United States. The leading Rabbinical authorities in America at the time determined through the kosher guidelines standards, that it was permissible for consumption. There is no Mesorah of our ancestors eating turkey. But that doesn’t mean it’s not kosher.

A number of meats that are on the agenda at the conference are elk and quail. Another kosher animal that up until recently was never commercially available was buffalo (some buffalo are controversial), although it is a bit pricey. But for those who like the lean meat, it’s something to look into. There are other exotic animals that are being examined for kashrut. Jewish organizations like CRC and the OU to name a few, are exploring the new age of kashrut and would like to increase the menu beyond pastrami and corn beef. As long as it passes the traditional guidelines of Kashrut, we’re good to go. Thanks Gersh.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Va’etchanan

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Va’etchanan

August 11, 2011
11 Av, 5771

Dear Friends,

 

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In This Issue
Is Fear Good or Bad? – Parshat Va’etchanan
Road Rage
Is There a Problem With Eating Fish and Cheese Together?

 Is Fear Good or Bad? – Parshat Va’etchanan
 Fear of G-d

 

In this week’s parsha, similar to many in the book of Devarim, Moshe reflects on some important points in the first forty years of a young nation. He reviews some of the triumphs, shortcomings, and the encounters, which the Israelites experienced in the desert. One of the encounters was the evil Idol worship Ba’al Peor.

In our previous discussions (Balak newsletter), we mentioned that in order to participate in worshiping this idol, one has to relieve himself in front of the idol. The reasoning behind this despicable act is to rebel against the values of society (idol worship was mainstream) and to destroy any form of order in which G-d and mankind has to offer.

Apparently, the Ba’al Peor inception initially was an entirely different philosophy than the popular anti-establishment defiant act, worship or however one wants to describe it. The original idea was to feel so fearful in front of Ba’al Peor, to the extent, that one loses all control of his bowels. Apparently, when human beings are afraid of something they have an urge to relieve themselves. Ever wonder why one has to go after being scared or experiencing anxieties? The philosophy of most pagenistic societies, in that period of time, was of ‘angry G-ds had to be appeased’ and that society is afraid of them; by losing control of ones’ bowels one has served their G-d well.

One has to wonder what the Torah perspective of fear is. Is fear good? The Torah commands us to fear G-d. Is fear bad (fear of life)?

Dr. Goldman, psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, mentions the Torah requires us to be afraid only of G-d (and to a certain extent, parents and teachers). He points out that perhaps by fearing only G-d, it can have a tremendous benefit on us. ‘You see’ he says,  ‘One can be a lot more assertive in his everyday life with this mindset; it will, in effect, make it easier to reach goals otherwise unattainable because of broadening fear to man. He will not be timid and tremble in front of people; he will be able to make oral presentations to his corporate bigwigs at work with ease because he knows that everything comes from G d; Hakadosh Baruch Hu is responsible; I fear only Him and not the grouchy boss or hot-tempered moody neighbor’. Man is just the messenger of G-d; the dog bites the stick when being hit, not realizing it’s the master who is the one who is inflicting the beating; so don’t be scared of the bully.

Apparently, it seems like the original Ba’al Peor worshipers had a certain pleasure in getting scared out of their wits. Seemingly, this falls in perfectly with today’s society; remember the popularity of Freddy Krueger and the Friday the 13th series, Frankenstein, Boris Karloff (no, he’s not Bukharian), and Hannibal Lector? Why do some people enjoy fear? Dr. Neil Levey says society is bored with their mundane life ‘so they flirt with fear’. So maybe that’s one reason why Peor was so popular.

Basically, our sages teach us to channel the fear to the Al-Mighty but one may ask ‘how can one reach a level of fearing G-d?’ Dr. Goldman continues, ‘It’s important to establish a relationship with Him through prayer and share with Him your happy news as well as your fears.’ By focusing on prayer and conveying every aspect of your life, it will strengthen the bond between G-d and yourself and will develop feelings such as fear, love, awe, and respect. Even though one might think it’s one-sided at first, he should still try it, and one will be surprised at the outcome. Unfortunately, prayer today for many, has become monotonic lip service, so one has to make it more meaningful.

Rabbi Baruch Dopelt is bothered by a pasuk, ‘serve G-d with happiness and fear’; it seems to contradict each other. Perhaps this famous pasuk will shed some light (we all know the song) ‘oseh shalom bimromav…if He (G-d) can make peace in the heavens (between fire and water), surely He too will make peace between us….’. The question is asked, how can you make peace between fire and water, two opposites? The answer is in the heavens. There is only olam ha’emet (world of truth) and both fire and water recognize and fear G-d to the highest degree because they see the truth without distortion; they’re able to co-exist. We too have to explore our inner self and find the truth without any distortion and we’ll develop a true fear exclusively for G-d.

Road Rage
 road rage

One morning earlier this week, while I was driving, a speeding vehicle buzzed past my car and the driver screamed, ‘Jew!!’ It was unexpected, so I jumped. Obviously, the driver’s intention was to purely shock and agitate me, and he accomplished his mission. What was surprising about the incident was my reaction. Instinctively, I was about to press on the acceleration pedal and ram my old jalopy 1996 Toyota Camry into him. Those brief moments were filled with startled surprise to anger (how dare you!!). Seconds later, I came to my senses realizing I have a kippa on my head and I have to live up to a certain dignified standard. Also, why would I want this low-life in my life for any extended period; the few seconds that he was in view was enough. I hope with G-d’s help to never see him again. Lastly, I have a busy life as is, so I don’t need the headaches.

But to think the most scariest and disappointing notion is that for those few seconds, I was tempted to violently react in the most horrific way. For those brief moments, I was not in control. I can’t help but think that if the scenario was slightly different and he would have agitated me a bit longer or if I had a rough morning before, would I have acted on those initial impulses?

Understandably, a kippa reminds oneself about the pride and control that we must adhere to. After all, this is one of the primary lessons we learn in Yeshiva – control. However, what about protecting our pride and the pride of our people?  Should we just be a bunch of wimps and not react?

We asked Dr. Goldman, Psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, on how does he explain road rage. He says we first have to understand what makes us so defensive and tempted to react. The Doctor explains that the anger reaction stems from pride; the ego has been hurt. We have to learn from King David; when David ran away, Shimi ben Gera insulted him and he did not react right away. David didn’t allow road rage to take the better of him. This is a person who was able to control himself for this moment. He didn’t give an immediate irrational response. Apparently, it was very difficult for him to control himself, but he nevertheless did.

The Zohar mentions that King David had similar desires (yetzer hara) as did Eisav (Jacob’s brother and rival). Therefore, the sages compare them; both had tendencies to spill blood, they both pursued married women. They both were redheads and presumably had tempers, and both were leaders. The primary difference between them however, and what the Torah emphasizes is CONTROL.

Dr. Goldman mentions one has to believe and say ‘I can take these insults; I’m okay, I’m not less of a person than I was before the insults’. It would be a sign of insecurity if one would let it get to him. Ah, but the kids are watching as I’m being insulted, I shouldn’t react?  The good doctor says one should handle the insults with dignity, then the kids will respect you. You’re not a baby, don’t let it bother you. If they see that you are not bothered and affected by those insults, they will respect you more. The notion of the ‘American cowboy’, I’ll take care of him at the ‘OK Carrel’ is nonsense. One has to understand, one can lose everything in one moment. Is it worth it?

This past year, there were 1200 injuries and 300 serious injuries; some of which fatalities cases of road rage. Apparently, it’s a cause for concern because the numbers are rising yearly; although, tempers and egos might be difficult to contain at a split second notice. Rav Yitzhak Aminov quotes Rav Yisroel Salanter who teaches us to review daily Mussar books (Jewish self-help books) on chapters pertaining to the character traits that you believe you’re weak in. One would be surprised what the sub-conscious mind absorbs; it just might save your life. One of the most famous quotes pertaining to road rage is ‘you never learn how to swear until you learn to drive’.

Is There a Problem With Eating Fish and Cheese Together?
 tuna melt sandwich

One morning many years ago, I was at a catered affair of a Brit Milah (circumcision of an 8 day old boy). I was about to sink my teeth into a delicious bagel with lox and cream cheese, which I  prepared with some tremendous effort, when someone approached me and said ‘you’re not allowed to have cheese and fish together according to Jewish law’. I retorted back, saying, “I never heard of such a law’ and proceeded to have my sandwich. A little while after the incident, I came across others who also did not eat the two together. Over the last number of years, I heard many contradicting reports on the subject. I think it would be a good idea to clarify a few points on this topic before we disregard the melted cheese on the flounder.

Surprisingly, even our brothers who come from Ashkenazi countries have an issue with eating the two together. But apparently, there is some good news for those Parmesan baked tilapia fans. Well maybe, that depends on a few things.

Rabbi Yossef Cairo, the author of the Shulchan Aruch (main body of Jewish law), whom the Sephardim follow, writes that one should not eat fish and cheese together. However the Rama whom the Ashkenazim follow not only disagrees but claims that the Mechaber (the author as Rabbi Cairo is called) made a printing mistake and didn’t mean fish and cheese but meant fish and “meat”. He says it’s impossible that the Mechaber would say such a thing; it’s not logical. This is the source of the controversy. Although there are many Sephardic lawmakers who agree with the Rama; however there are those who hold by the text and will not combine. Some even say there is a health hazard eating fish and cheese together. Rabbi Eliyahu Ben Haim disagrees and says it’s perfectly okay and the health hazard does not apply today.

One should hold by their family tradition customs, if your ancestors did not eat then you should not do so either and if they did then enjoy the tuna melt. If one does not have any tradition, then follow your Rabbi. But there are definitely very good sources to be lenient.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience