Parshat Behar

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Behar

May 12, 2011

8 Iyar, 5771

In This Issue
The Mystique About Tefillin
Faith in G-d

The Mystique About Tefillin
Tefillin

 

For yours truly, this and next week’s Torah reading is a cool time because it’s my bar-mitzvah parshah (sometimes they fall on the same week). I’m sure most guys looking back at their bar mitzvah, most likely, will admit to having a very special time of their lives. One of the many memories that come to mind, besides the funny tuxedos we had to where, was the excitement of putting on tefillin. For many years before, I would observe my father and upper grade boys in school put theirs on and my classmates and I would beg them for an opportunity to wrap their tefillin. I remember when I got my tefillin and smelled the scent of the new black leather straps and feeling of ‘hey I’m a grown up’, was nice. Although it’s been awhile since I bought a new car, the black exterior is preferred, popular and expensive, but why a black collar for tefillin? Why the leather and square box? Why the puny animal hairs that stick out from the box? One has probably asked himself over the years a pretty basic question; why does one need this strange contraption to get close to G-d? Perhaps, I would think it is better suited to meditate or give a good cry.

In order to answer these questions, one has to understand the Torah concept of closeness. Spiritual closeness, which is very different than physical, is obtained by having resemblances. For example, one can be on the other side of the world and still maintain a strong bond with his friend, a spiritual closeness, because they share the same ideology. If I like pastrami with sweet red peppers and Boaz in Israel likes pastrami with sweet red peppers, we resemble each other and in this concept are considered close. In the spiritual world, it’s impossible to bring two opposites together; therefore, good and bad people will have no contact with each other once they die. Sometimes strangers can exist with each other. It’s important to note, there is a way where spiritual things can be bound to the material. For example, good and evil urges are polar opposites; they exist together only with a material physical body, which is the common denominator; they could never be brought together otherwise.

G-d and man are also worlds apart. It’s only by binding ourselves to the same physical object that we can get close to Him. The physical tefillin we wear are the counterpart of what G-d has on. In each detail, they parallel G-d’s spiritual tefillin and because they resemble them they are spiritually very close to each other and that links us to G-d.

We are told from various accounts about near death experiences that seeing the light, which presumably is G-d, is a very exhilarating sight. The Zohar teaches that G-d chooses to be hidden because if He would be more open, there will not be freedom of choice. Man would not struggle to find answers about life; he would not have difficulty making a living. He would not need to try to fill voids in his life to be happy, trying various things to reach some satisfaction. He’s being discreet casts a spell of confusion. Therefore, man has to find ways to climb the mountain. Every day should be a learning experience. In order to achieve success in his spirituality and physicality, he has to use his creativity. This is one reason why tefillin is black, indicating that G-d’s purpose is dark and hidden. The white parchment found inside are only to be found when one penetrates this black barrier. The square is the archetype of man; it’s not a natural shape. Round is the way of the world, (hakafot on Simchat Torah, Hoshanas on Sukkoth, Chatan and Kallah dancing in a circle (separately of course.) The meaning of the square is that the ultimate goal is in man’s hand; he can change the natural occurrence of the world through creativity. He is able to take this physical animalistic world and enhance it spiritually. This is the reason everything in the tefillin is made from an animal product. Man is only perfected through his animal nature, which is through his physical body. Man’s main link with G-d is with his physical observance of his commandments.

If you look carefully at the head of the tefillin, you will find four very short hairs coming out near the base between the third and fourth sections. One of the ways we resemble G-d is the practice of free will, and one of the ingredients to have free will is the existence of evil. This evil is the hair in the tefillin, which is symbolic to the hair of a calf. The golden calf is one of archetypes of evil. This hair that is in the tefillin which man wears, ultimately connects all evil to G-d. Therefore, it is also the channel through which all evil can be brought back and be redeemed. We are not perfect and man has to go through an experience of a shameful gehenom (hell) even for a mere moment. By wearing the tefillin, he fulfills the obligations and saves him from a more stringent judgment. This explains why a particular Chassidic group stands in a street corner and urges people to put on tefillin. Therefore, it’s very important to wear tefillin every day.

 

“Tefillin” taken from the writings of R’ Aryeh Kaplan.

Faith in G-d
 receiving torah from mt sinai

One of the most fundamental beliefs in Judaism is found in this week’s Torah reading. In fact, I believe G-d is daring us ‘Ah you proclaimed first we will do and then listen…well, let’s see; put your money where your mouth is’.

When the Jews were approached by G-d and were asked if they are interested in receiving the Torah, they proclaimed they will follow G-d’s commandments blindly. This is how much trust our ancestors put in G-d. Those words, which were said with pride, ‘na’aseh v’nishma’, we will do first then we will listen, was the magic phrase that G-d wanted to hear, earning us brownie points and elevating us to his chosen people.

The Sages find that those who observe the laws of shmitah; a strength of character attributed only to angels. In fact, when we uttered the famous phrase, the angels wondered who divulged our secret to mankind. The angels perform G-d’s commandments with sincerity and blind loyalty, and we, with that statement, reached a very lofty level. Every seven years of a seven-year cycle, the land of Israel lies fallow; one cannot sell for profit; the grass cannot be cut; no pruning allowed; and the fruits cannot be taken out of Israel. However, one can eat from his land as long as there is no planting done during the shmita year. Also, during the year of shmita, all loans are canceled. Similarly, Shabbat also is a time of rest. Both provide a challenge in faith because of the temptations involved. How does one deal with the profits and losses of Shabbat and shmita?

The Talmud Yerushalmi offers a vivid illustration of how, in the long run, man’s efforts do not change his livelihood. The wife of R’ Yossi Haglili treated him with tremendous disrespect and with no appreciation. One day, R ‘ Elazar ben Azarya came by and told him ‘to divorce her for lack of kavod’; it is not befitting that you live with her ‘. A while later, she married the town watchman. The watchman became poor and blind and she was forced to make the rounds and beg. One day, they did not collect anything. He asked her, “Is there not another neighborhood here?” She replied, ‘”There is another street here where my first husband lives, but I am too embarrassed to go there”. He began hitting her. Just then, R’ Yossi Haglili passed by and heard her humiliation. He put them up in one of his houses and supported them for the rest of their lives. He did this in keeping with the verse, ‘Do not ignore your kin’ which applies even to one’s divorcee. Still, one could hear her voice at night saying ‘Better the beating from my husband which is but an external pain, then the humiliation of being supported from R’ Yossi Hagalili which is an internal pain'(Yerushalmi ketuvot 11:3).

A closer look at this teaches us an important lesson about the effectiveness of human effort. After all her craftiness and sinister plots to discredit her husband, R’ Yossi’s wife was back to her original supporter! The same husband that fed her before, fed her now. The difference is only that she was provided with food in a dignified manner and now she had to bear the humiliation of accepting charity from her former husband. Thus, we see man’s sustenance remains unchanged. All that man’s deeds can accomplish are a worsening of the condition of his livelihood; it is rather the provider of the universe who gives to each his needs.

It is a hallmark of the greatness of Israel that they are expected to live with the level of trust that angels have. When our ancestors pronounced ‘na’aseh v’nishmah’, it was said with tremendous pride that lifted that experience to such a monumentous moment. It would be a shame not to live up to those standards.

“Shmitta” –  taken from the writings of R’ Chaim Shmuelevitz.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Emor

“A Cup of Coffee 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Emor

May 5, 2011

1 Iyar, 5771

Dear Friend,

Dedicate a newsletter or a lecture for either a Refuah Sheleima, in loving memory, hatzlacha bracha in all endeavors, birthdays, anniversaries or any other occasion!!!!

In This Issue
Decisions That Impact Many
A Lesson for Chocolate Lovers

Decisions That Impact Many
 king

In this week’s portion of the Torah we read about “If a Cohen’s (Priest’s) daughter has an adulterous affair, she defamed her father’s name, she should be put to death by burning”(21;9). We learn from Rav Henoch Leibowitz z”l who quotes the mainstream commentary Rashi, as he explains the verse above, she defamed and embarrassed her father’s honor, people would say on him ‘curse is the person who gave birth and curse is the person who raised such an individual’.

As we know, it was King David who laid the blueprints for the Bet Hamikdash (Temple). However, it was under King Solomon’s leadership that it was built. When King Solomon was married to the daughter of Pharaoh, one of his many wives, on the day of the inauguration of the long-awaited Temple, she caused him to oversleep. The entire nation was waiting for their King on this momentous occasion to lead the ceremony, not knowing that he was out of commission. Apparently, his mother, Batsheva, had a grasp on what was taking place. She had a sixth sense that mothers possess which led to her uneasy feeling. Mothers have a certain intuition about their children. (If I sneeze, my mother, who happened to be on the other side of town, will call me up and demand that I should put on my sweater.)

So Batsheva storms the King’s bedroom with the heel of her shoe in hand. She hits her son, King Solomon, scolding him ‘What are you doing? People would say I’m at fault for not raising you properly. They wouldn’t blame your father because he was a tzaddik. If you’re a rasha, they’ll blame me that I was the cause of your actions’. Perhaps we can deduce from the words of Batsheva. If the people did not believe David was a tzaddik, they would blame him for Solomon’s actions, even though David had been dead many years before the inauguration took place. Regardless, apparently the people would say that David did not give Solomon the proper education and this is the cause of his misstep. But the fact that David was a tzaddik, the blame would fall on his mother. The Gemarah deduces from what happens next during the inauguration ceremony; that whatever wrong King David did, G-d forgave him. This is evident from the mysteriously locked Temple doors, which would not open. Every effort was made by Shlomo and the sages to open the Temple, but it was to no avail, until Shlomo cried out to G-d ‘do it for the sake of my father, King David.’ With this cry, the doors opened.

Rav Leibowitz asks, why would anybody blame David or Batsheva for their son’s wrongdoings? At what point does an individual take responsibility for his own actions? Don’t you think at this stage of his life, he can make his own decisions? After all, he runs a kingdom; the Israelites at this juncture were considered a super power. We have to say this is human nature. People always link an individual’s negative and positive attributes to one’s parents. Even though one can argue that Shlomo didn’t do anything maliciously, David and Batsheva still would have felt slighted by their son’s actions, which would have been magnified in peoples’ eyes and would cause them embarrassment.

I know of an individual who was seeing a girl whom he was interested in marrying. Apparently, as the relationship got closer to the very serious state, it was disclosed that she had a relationship with a non-Jew. This was an issue; considering this person was a Cohen who cannot marry anyone who had such a relationship, he ended the relationship rationalizing, what would my ancestors say ‘you broke the family chain of Cohanim that goes back three thousand years because you’re in love’. This individual took tremendous pride of his Cohen status and of his family tradition. Today, he is performing his Cohen duties in synagogue along with his sons right by him.

Rav Leibowitz points out that Batsheva was more concerned in adding a sense of responsibility to Shlomo, than to her own personal pride. If one feels he is alone in sinning, he should think again. Many of his ancestors will be affected.

We conclude that any of our wrongdoings could be a violation of ‘honoring your father and your mother’ because it causes people to look negatively at our parents. Perhaps, if we are tempted to violate any laws, we should think twice because our parents’ honor is at stake.

A Lesson for Chocolate Lovers
chocolate

 

In one of the episodes of the long running TV show ‘the Simpsons’, Homer, one of the main characters, dreams of living in a world of chocolate. Can anyone imagine doors made out of Tomborone; cars made out of Chunkys; tables and chairs made out of Milky Ways; and Hershey Kisses? Perhaps, a person with a slight inclination to chocolate can appreciate the fantasy scene. Homer’s dream sequence continues where he overindulges, as you can well imagine. Anyone that has seen the show knows that one of Homer’s weaknesses, in which he readily gives into, is physical pleasures. Homer seems to wipe out the notion of moderation, which is evident when he jumps into a pool of chocolate with his mouth open and his eyes hungry.

Chocolate happens to be an amazing phenomenon and many cherish chocolate and welcome it in their hearts. We see from a study, women find chocolate irresistible. This is because chocolate has been found to reduce many disorders and helps them regulate their moods and emotions by directing the body to generate serotonin, which is the happiness hormone. Moreover, another brownie point for chocolate in the area of good health, researchers have recently published that the presence of poly phenolic antioxidants in chocolate, when taken in moderation, prevents cardiovascular disease. Also, dark bittersweet chocolate, which the mavens consider elite because of its pure untainted content, is so nutrient rich that the levels of antioxidants rival some fruits and vegetables.

But, it’s been a long path as to what blessing is made on such a valuable and cherished commodity. The Halacha (law) is that food which is normally consumed after being ground, retains its original bracha (blessing). Spices are routinely powdered so the bracha is ha’etz. Chocolate comes from the cocoa bean, which is the fruit of the tree, therefore should be ha’etz also. However, the overwhelming custom is to recite a shahakol on chocolate since the bean is altered when it’s processed into chocolate. Others explain that the chocolate in the bean is not eaten as is and is mixed with other ingredients; therefore, considered a minor one. Another explanation is that when the bean is modified to a liquid state, it is a new entity, which is not recognizable that it came from a bean. Chocolate could very well be classified in the category of seduction. Who out there can recall, where curiosity took the best of us as kids (or even adults), going through an entire fancy box of individually silver wrapped chocolate? There is also the unforgettable Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup commercial where two guys, one with peanut butter and the other with chocolate, bump into each other and one yells at the other ‘you got some peanut butter on my chocolate’ and the other also complains, ‘you got some chocolate on my peanut butter’ and both are surprisingly happy with the discovery.

I can recall my learning partner, twenty years ago, Rabbi Johnny Flamholtz, who helped me with the research for this article, introduced me to the delicacy ‘death by chocolate’ which contains seven layers of different types of chocolate!

It is important to note when our forefather Isaac wanted to give the blessing to Eisav, he asked him to prepare him a meal and his preference was a wild animal, not domesticated. The reason for this is because it’s much more difficult to get a wild animal as opposed to a domesticated one, who’d just be sitting there, waiting to be slaughtered. Isaac didn’t want to overindulge in meat; so as a precaution, chose the more difficult less accessible route. He foresaw a potential problem and took precautionary measures.

We learn from Isaac that moderation is a very vital method of success and should prevent one from overindulging in a seduction like chocolate. Even though, there seems to be many benefits in chocolate, it’s no excuse for the excess. This can be applied to everything in life. So the next time one comes across a box of Godiva or even M&M’s, one should practice moderation.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Acharei Mot

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Acharei Mot

April 13, 2011

9 Nissan, 5771

In This Issue
Verbal Importance of the Seder
Breaking the Glass

Verbal Importance of the Seder
 haggadah

When one thinks about Pesach, the first thing that comes to mind is matzah. It is called ‘lechem oni-bread of affliction’. Another way of understanding ‘lechem oni’ is ‘lechem shea onim alav de’varim harbeh -bread over which many things are said’. This is the reason when we are about to start ‘avadim hayinu-we were slaves’, after reciting the ‘ma nishtanah-why is this night different from every other night’; we uncover the matzah and point at it. At this juncture, we are called upon to ‘talk’ about the exodus of Egypt. The very word ‘Pesach’ has been interpreted as ‘peh-sach-the mouth talks’, to stress the importance of putting the meaning of the event into words. As slaves, words were not spoken because slaves are not allowed to speak or to think. It’s important at the Seder to verbally read the Hagaddah from beginning to end. We see speaking as a sign of freedom. Any American can tell you the special privilege that is granted to us in freedom of speech; it’s a constitutional right. The Americans took example from the exodus of Egypt and incorporated them in their very own experiences and constitution. There is also an emphasis on the father and son dialog, because of the very reason we gave above, ‘freedom’. That relationship doesn’t exist when you’re a slave. There is no tradition that is passed down; one is obliged only to his master. However, freedom has a lot of fringe benefits and strengthening  that bond of the father and son is one of them.

In some places, it is customary for the father to repeat the mah nishtanah after the child has finished. The reason may be perhaps the child asked without understanding. It’s important to note that it is desirable that the entire Haggadah should be translated and explained for the benefit of all the Seder participants. After all, the Seder is not meant to be an empty ritual, but an effort to grasp and relive the experience of our ancestors. Somebody who does not understand the Haggadah has actually not fulfilled his obligation.

Another reason why the emphasis on ‘talking’ is important is that our very essence is speech. When Jacob came to receive the bracha from his father Isaac, Isaac said ‘hakol kol Yaacov v’hayadim yedei Eisav’-the voice is the voice of Jacob and the hands are the hands of Eisav’. Jacob’s power is in the speech. This is our strength and we are utilizing this gift that G-d gave us with pride at the Seder.

Besides Torah, which is part and parcel with speech and is our life force, there is another advantage, which we exercised that I feel proud of. When I was younger in the late 1960’s & early 70’s, the 25 year-old generation would create rallies and an enthusiastic energetic environment to make their voices heard for Soviet Jewry.  It worked by putting pressure on the government, and it unified the Jews whether they were American or Russian. It was a tremendous show of solidarity and it showed that with ‘kol Yaacov’, we can make a difference. The Seder is not the time to keep quiet; one should ask, answer, sing whatever they can, to strengthen our gift.

Breaking the Glass
breaking the glass

 

Baruch Hashem, there is always an abundance of weddings before Passover. It never fails, as one watches the bride and groom, to reminisce when we actually took those very steps ourselves. How interesting it is to witness a couple’s significant moment in their lives. I’m sure one can guess that a chupah ceremony has strong traditions and deep meanings. There is a lingering question that is often asked about the breaking of the glass at the end of the ceremony. We have learned it’s for the remembrance of our holy Temple, which was destroyed approximately two thousand years ago. This unpleasant memory is incorporated into our joyous occasion so we should not feel overly happy where we experienced such grief as a nation.

But why such an emphasis on diffusing the joy? Why not live with having a purely happy occasion without a bit of sorrow? Why can’t we just be happy to the fullest? Furthermore, one would have to look at a significant event in our history – which I’ve been scratching my head in wonderment – in order to understand what Rav Chaim Shmuelevits is trying to convey to us in this d’var Torah in which I had the pleasure to tell over.

The lineage of the Mashiach comes from the tribe of Yehuda, but the turning of events of how the inception came about will startle you. Yehuda’s daughter in-law was widowed twice; G-d punished and killed Yehuda’s two sons (Tamar’s 1st and 2nd husbands.) Consequently, he told her to go to her father’s house until his third son is old enough to marry. Jewish tradition prevents a widow from marrying out of her husband’s family if she didn’t have children (although this does not apply today.) Usually, the brother is required to marry his brother’s wife, in order to preserve the deceased sibling’s name (yibum), or else he has to give her Chalitza (equivalent of a divorce). But, in light of what happened, Yehuda gave her the old line ‘don’t call me, I’ll call you’ and as the third son came of age, the call to Tamar never came. Perhaps he viewed her as bad luck and was reluctant to give over his son, fearing the black widow would strike again. Tamar, the widowed daughter in-law, had an intuition of the importance of the family and would not give up the right to be the mother of the messianic family. She disguised herself as a prostitute and seduced the widowed Yehuda. These uncharacteristic actions of both Yehuda and Tamar have put every living being off guard, as we will soon see. The news came out that Tamar was pregnant which angered Yehuda. ‘She is bound to our family and has committed a severe violation; she should be burned,’ he proclaimed, not knowing that it was he who impregnated her. Tamar made Yehuda realize through her discrete hint, that it was he who will be the father of her twins. Even though he was in front of the leaders of the world, Yehuda earned great admiration for his admittance, showing honesty, seeking to do what’s right and taking responsibility, therefore resulting in being crowned leader by his father and brothers.

But why does the Mashiach have to come in this manner? The great Jewish savior is presented in such an un-dignifying way; this is how you want the Mashiach to come? The mere thought of Yehuda not knowing who the mother of the messianic lineage is at the time of the physical relationship, is mind boggling!

Rav Chaim teaches us the world operates in such a manner that every holy act cannot exist unless it has a small mixture of negativity. Therefore, the Mashiach would not be able to come in a natural way because the evil powers were too strong and would not allow the inception of this significant occurrence.

This leads us to this week’s Parsha where we realize that the power of evil could prevent goodness from blossoming unless the evil is satiated. Then and only then goodness can operate. The Torah mentions that on Yom Kippur, besides bringing a sacrifice to G-d, an identical young he-goat would be given to Satan. ‘What!!’ one may ask ‘Satan?’ Am I watching a B-movie late Saturday night on one of those low-budget channels? Perhaps it seems to be some form of idol worship. By throwing a bone to the devil, you’ll prevent any additional intervention.

My father had dinner once with his cousin, Mr. Mayer Abraham, who was one of the leaders of the Bukharian-Afgani community in Queens. They were on a business trip in the Far East.  Mr. Abraham left some food on his dinner plate. My father asked him ‘why don’t you finish? We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.’ He retorted back ‘I always leave a little piece for Satan so he should be happy also. After reading the d’rasha by Rav Chaim, I realize where Mr. Abraham’s source came.

Rav Chaim quotes the Ramban who lived a thousand years ago. The breaking of the glass quiets Satan so he doesn’t harm the couple. He is satisfied with the event not being 100% pure joy because the guests remember an unpleasant memory. It is the chatan that reads ‘if I forget Jerusalem (where the Temple was destroyed) let my right hand forget its skill.’

Some communities are scared of the evil eye. Therefore, they perform a real chupah the night before, and the chupah at the hall with all the guests is staged. Realizing the importance of feeling a little sorrow when breaking the glass and its significance of fending off Satan, one should conclude there is no need for additional protection of the chatan and kallah.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Metzora

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Metzorah

April 7, 2011

3 Nissan, 5771

In This Issue
Unity and The Seder
The Four Sons

Unity and The Seder
family seder

 

If there is one night an American secular Jew could relate to a gentile’s Thanksgiving Day, is Passover eve ‘the Seder’. It’s a night where family travels from all over the world to be together. But besides being a wonderful family reunion, it is also a powerful night spiritually, connecting to G-d and unifying us as one nation. Every so often one hears an interesting thought which is inspiring.

This was the case many years ago hearing a d’var Torah from Rabbi Feivel Wagner z”l of the Young Israel of Forest Hills. He started the d’rasha (speech) by asking ‘why do we call it Seder?’ and he replied ‘Seder means order’. The sages created the proper order so we can elevate ourselves on this holy night. Rabbi Wagner began to explain the sequence from the beginning of the night: Kiddush is making the blessing on the wine; urchatz is washing your hands without a blessing; karpas is a vegetable (either celery or potato), dipped in salt water; yachatz is breaking of the middle matzah and magid is telling of the story of how we were slaves. But wait, how do the Rabbis proclaim the evening is in order when it seems like it’s out of sequence? Perhaps, karpas – the dipping of the vegetable in salt water, should be incorporated into magid – the telling of the story or our enslavement in Egypt. Apparently, isn’t that telling of the story?

We know from experience how meticulous our sages can be. Everything they wrote in the Siddur was carefully orchestrated and fit perfectly into its proper slot in the prayer.  So too, one would expect the pattern of preciseness at the Seder also. They are very smart; they won’t leave anything uncovered. Ahh, these Rabbi’s…. they always have a motive for everything. They always have something up their sleeves. Did they get careless here? So why is it out of sequence?

Our holy and smart sages did put the sequence in the right order. To understand the proper sequence of events, we have to back track years before the Jews entered Egypt, to the book of Genesis parshat vayeshev. There was jealousy against Joseph by his brothers who were the twelve sons of Jacob, our Patriarch. Joseph received an exclusive coat for a present by Jacob, which fueled the fire of jealousy and divided the brothers even more. The brothers decided to sell Joseph; but how would they explain their action to Jacob? Yehuda, the leader among the brothers, devised a plan; lying to his father by telling him a wild animal killed Joseph and showing Jacob the present, the ripped coat dipped in blood. The dipping of the coat was the climax of the hate and division toward their brother Joseph. Dipping is the action that broke the camel’s back and started the exile. Therefore the dipping of karpas, which the commentary Rashi defines, a coat, symbolizes the negative action of Yehuda and the brothers and one reason we’re in exile.

Someone wrote to me last week about my article titled ‘Passover Custom’ where I wrote how important it is to keep our traditions and customs because, apparently when eating over a friend’s house, the traditions could differ. So as a precautionary measure, one has to be careful when eating out. This person had a very strong question; this meticulous caution breeds disunity he proclaimed. I would like to add and make his question stronger by stating what audacity I have by alluding that the brothers were wrong in selling Joseph and dividing the family, while in last week’s article, I encouraged caution at eating by the brethrens, seemingly causing division.

One has to realize that respecting your fellow Jew’s customs and not forcing your traditions on him is the ultimate love and unity one can express. Joseph was different. It’s not so strange that brothers are not on the same page. Perhaps they weren’t sensitive enough to understand his personality. Perhaps Joseph too, should have realized his actions and words would cause a negative reaction from them.

My father z”l once raised my right hand and said ‘you see son, are any of your fingers the same? Different size, shape. But all the fingers on the hand work in unison. So too, people.  We are all different, and when we realize and respect each other’s quirkiness then we will be a unified nation’.

The Four Sons
 4 sons

Rabbi Olbaum, in quoting the book, Or Yael, asks a question: What does G-d love most about Abraham, our patriarch? Abraham was the first to recognize G-d; he had ten tests and passed them all and he publicly displayed his belief; he didn’t hide it by putting his kippah in his pocket. But the one item on a most impressive resume was his ability to pass down the tradition to his sons and grandsons. We learn it out from Parshat Vayera 19:18; ‘I know he will command his children and household’.

There are so many reasons why G-d can love Abraham – so why this one? Although, it is important, so is ‘welcoming guests’, ‘mastering kindness’ just to name a few of his many virtues. So it’s a little puzzling why this particular one is singled out. The Chafetz Chaim says ‘a person can be the most pious Jew and live an entire life learning Torah in his private domain, but if he doesn’t pass it down to his children, friends, students and neighbors, the word of G-d will disappear. Abraham had the ability, had the gift, which no one before him could.

The Haggadah introduces us to the four sons and one may ask: what’s the motive? What’s the moral lesson that the sages want to bring out? A person should realize that one of the primary goals of the Seder are the children, and we have to be in tune and read between the lines of the questions they ask.

We can deduce wisdom and interest from the detailed question of the Chacham (intelligent son). There is a sense of sincerity in his tone. The tone of the voice is essential to read what they are really trying to say.

Next is the Rasha (wicked); one might say the fact that he’s asking a question at all, is wonderful. There is no such thing as a bad question, one may think. Well, as long as there is an open channel for an answer, then yes. However, that question might be a statement; therefore, the lines of communication are closed. By the tone and attitude, the Rasha is not very open minded and not interested in hearing answers. His question has a negative connotation by excluding himself by speaking of ‘you’ and not ‘us’; therefore, his statement is understood as criticism. The statement or the very act of separating oneself from the Jewish people is a form of separation from G-d.

With all of this bad attitude, the Rasha is surprisingly number two. Although he’s dangerous and his aura can spread, it will not be a good idea to leave him with the kids. However, there is a famous gemarah that tends to give some hope. The example they give is when Haman, who wanted to destroy the Jews, went to find Mordechai. He found him teaching Torah in a classroom where he had a brief curiosity. The Talmud tells us that the genealogy makeup of being curious – no matter how brief – can be manifested itself years later in great grandchildren.

This is quite the opposite with the fourth son who has no ambition, no curiosity, and might end up being an inactive Rasha. He’s not curious to be interested. This leaves us with the third son who is curious and takes upon himself some sort of commitment of Torah. But his intellect is limited. But every so often, he gets a spark of energy where the teacher has to take advantage before he hibernates for another length of time.

What we’re hoping for is sincere curiosity from their questions and this is what we bait the kids for. But how do we accomplish that? If you observe closely and see how the Torah handles each son individually, each one got a different response. We learn from the sages the importance of handling each child in a different way. It’s a tremendous injustice to teach using the same technique. The optimal choice is every individual should get a different approach to education. It may not be so practical but it is needed.

The Vilna Gaon says some kids like blood and knives, so one has to guide them toward being a mohel or a shochet. There are children that can’t sit still. I remember learning in yeshiva where guys would pace from one end of the study hall to the other. Some of the greatest minds had the greatest pacing. What would one do? Would you tie them up to the seat? NO!! That would destroy them. Let them walk the halls; this is how they learn.

We learn from the sages to approach every child differently. This was Abraham’s method; his extreme sensitivity toward ones personality, and that is why he succeeded to pass down the torch.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Tazriah

 

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Tazriah

March 31, 2011

25 Adar II, 5771

Dear Friend,

 

Less than 1 week away!!! Next Tuesday, April 5, 2011, is the 2nd annual mock singing Seder. Learn all the popular songs that are a staple in the Seder: Bukarian, Sefaradic, Ashkenaz, American pop, etc. For men only. Plenty of wine and food. PLEASE RSVP to Rabbi Avi Matmon atsparkofjewishexperience@hotmail.com.

 

In This Issue
Tazriah
Passover Customs

Tazriah

 

8 strands on tallis

 

       In this week’s Torah reading, we receive more information about the commandment of circumcision (brit milah). It’s a dramatic moment as both the father and infant son transcend to this special mitzvah. Let’s explore two interesting aspects about this momentous event.

One may ask, why does the Torah state, it should be on the ‘eighth day’? Would it not be more logical to have the brit on the seventh day, considering what the commentary ‘tosefes beracha’ points out that the number seven is often used to indicate perfection? For example, we find that after the molad-the point at which the new moon begins to appear for a period of seven days, the moon grows a little each day, becoming complete at the conclusion of the seventh. Also, there’s more food for thought regarding the importance of the number seven; a marriage is celebrated with seven blessings on each day of the seven days following the wedding. Death is observed with seven days of mourning. A week is seven days; the shmittah cycle is seven years; there are seven heavens; man goes through seven stages of life; and King Solomon wrote that there are seven pillars of wisdom. In the physical world, a cycle, a full measure is seven. So we see the number seven is a staple in this world; therefore it’s only fitting that an important commemoration should be on this day.

But the number eight, according to our sages, is above perfection. There was a time where the Jews enjoyed a higher intimacy with G-d during the Temple, which represents the spiritual world. Rabbenu Bachya notes the number eight had a great significance in the Temple service. The High Priest wore eight vestments; eight musical instruments accompanied the Levites in the singing of the psalms; animals could only be offered if they were eight days old; there were eight poles for carrying the vessels in the sanctuary; there were eight varieties of species used in the making of the anointment oil; the inauguration of Aaron and his sons took place on the eighth day of the Temple’s dedication. It is indeed ‘above the planes of nature ‘. Therefore, any entity associated with the number eight represents a direct connection involving the spiritual world.

There are other important reasons for eight; there were eight generations from Abraham to when Joshua led Israel in entering the land of Israel; the tzitzis tassels affixed to the tallt has eight strands; Chanukah is celebrated for eight days-a spiritual miracle; forty-nine days are counted from the 2nd day of Passover which culminates with the arrival of the holiday of Shavuot, which marks the giving of the Torah at Sinai at the conclusion of the seventh week period following the exodus. Eight thus represents receiving of the Torah, the holiness of G-d Himself, and it is only fitting that a circumcised boy comes into the ‘congregation of Israel’ on the eighth day.

One may ask, why is the great prophet Eliyahu present at every brit? At the end of his mission, as a prophet, Eliyahu was disillusioned with the Jewish people for reverting back to sin after seeing dramatic miracles. He told G-d, the people of Israel are not performing circumcision, indicating they never will again. G-d said it seems you have so little confidence in my people. ‘They will perform brit milah, you’ll see. In fact, each brit that will be performed, you will attend’. (If Eliyahu wasn’t a morning person then he sure is now!)

We learn a valuable lesson to never give up hope. Even though the Jews were not performing the commandment of brit milah and were at a spiritual low, they eventually saw the importance of it and returned to perform it diligently. But even more surprising, is G-d’s harsh reaction towards Eliyahu for not believing in the Israelites. Eliyahu’s self-sacrifice to Israel is well-known. You see, G-d expects a lot from his people, because we are above normality; above the number seven; we are above the horoscope. We have the ability to change the scope of any situation through prayer and good deeds. In essence, we have the potential to be wrapped around the number eight which beams a light of holiness. Through the number eight, which is our essence, ‘hope’ takes on another meaning, and our dreams to excel spiritually could be in reach.

Passover Customs
 grains

It’s very difficult to eat by someone’s house on Passover.

I remember my parents being very strict and I often thought that they were ‘overdoing it’. Then one Passover I paid someone a visit during Chol HaMoed to get acquainted. This person is considered an observant Jew so I didn’t have my guard up in being careful with what I was eating. Apparently, to my horror. I ate something, unknowingly, which my family tradition considers not kosher for Pesach. It was a kosher product but we adhere to a higher standard during the holiday. ‘Burn him at the stake’ you might scream out snickering sarcastically. One might argue ‘your kind is causing division among our brethren with your petty ridiculousness; maybe you should just chill out’. In response to my brethren whom feel that way, I would like to divulge a secret to the success of our Jewish people, ‘tradition, tradition’ (please Google ‘Fiddler on the Roof”). You see, observant Jews take pride in keeping the stringent laws of Kashrut, which goes back approximately three thousand years. We have taken great strides in putting kosher symbols on food products nationally.  In a gentile, super power country, that’s unheard of! We have many top star kosher cuisine restaurants, which can compete with any non-kosher establishment. Besides observing kosher for the sake of the Torah law commandment, on a pure psychological exercise, it strengthens one’s skills in willpower in which we can be very proud of. Those Jews that are lax in observing these laws eventually fell off the bandwagon of being part of the Jewish nation.

One of the items that are controversial on Passover is whether kitniyot is permissible. Let’s mention some fundamental concepts before explaining what kitniyot are. The Torah forbids us to eat chametz (leaven) on Pesach. Something becomes chametz when flour and water mix together long enough for the dough to rise. The sages explicitly state and rule that chametz can be produced only from certain grains: wheat, barley, rye, spelt, and oats. The Rabbis imposed a stringency on kitniyot as a prevention to violating the Torah law of chametz. Kitniyot are also cooked in a manner similar to the way the grains are cooked and that could be confusing. In addition, in many locales, kitniyot are made into bread and people who are not well versed in Torah law might get confused.

Another concern is that kitniyot are mixed with grains that have the ability to become chametz. For example, spelt is often mixed with rice. That is why our Bukarian mothers and grandmothers clean rice before Pesach.  Much has been written about which items are included in the minhag (custom) of kitniyot. Four issues are usually explored. Is the item defined as kitniyot (legumes, such as beans, lentils, rice, soy, kidney beans, lima beans, peas, corn), or at least similar to kitniyot? Can the item be ground into flour in the same manner as grain? Does the item grow near a field of grain? Various communities have different customs and define what is and is not allowed. Some customs allow eating kitniyot; some just allow rice, and some none at all. My family custom permits rice with the exception of the first Seder night. There is no generality except what the Talmud explicitly states what is chametz which we mentioned above. Therefore, when going to a kosher supermarket for Pesach shopping, look at labels and ingredients to be in accordance with you family traditions.

The most important advice is to follow one’s rich traditions and customs, as long as they don’t violate any Jewish law. Minhag avot (the custom of our fathers) is the leading indicator to proceed in various functions of every day Jewish life. It is vital to consult with a Rabbi who is well versed in Torah and is also familiar with your family traditions.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Tzav

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Tzav

March 17, 2011

11 Adar II, 5771

Dear Friend,

 

 

Let’s welcome the holiday of PURIM!!!!!

Purim

In This Issue
Pursuit of Honor
Importance of Eating a Meal and Drinking Wine on Purim

Pursuit of Honor

 

King Haman

 

          Our sages teach us, there are certain character flaws which one possesses that are so destructive ‘it could take you out of this world’. In other words, one can be thrown off course and lose any line of reasoning, any happiness, and any satisfaction, because of this deficiency.

A prime example is the wicked Haman who presumably had everything and yet felt he had nothing. Here is a man who was second in command to the king of the most powerful nation in the world and worshiped by all subjects of the vast super power Persian Empire; however, he was not satisfied with everything because one Jew, Mordechai, would not bow down to him. How could it be that Haman even noticed the lack of this miniscule amount of honor amidst the overwhelming flood of glory that was his? Perhaps, if not for the dangerous predicament our ancestors were in, the way he conducted himself through his obsession would have been observed as quite humorous.

Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l explains that one is never able to achieve satisfaction through honor. As much honor as you will receive, you will find yet more that you must have, and so your craving will never be satisfied. It’s like a cat chasing after his own tail.

One of the most wicked kings our People ever had was Yeravam ben Navat. Here was an individual who was quite charismatic, a tremendous orator and extremely knowledgeable in Torah; yet he brought our people to sin in a tremendous way. He was also one of the parties responsible for dividing the Jewish nation into two entities. The motives of his actions were purely for the pursuit of honor. He is one of the few individuals who will not have a share in the world to come. Once G-d approached him and pleaded to Yeravam, “Please repent and I’ll arrange for you, me, and Ben Yishai (King David) to stroll in Gan Eden (heaven)”. And he answered “Who’s first, me or Ben Yishai?” “Ben Yishai” G-d replied. “I’m not interested”, said Yeravam. Is it possible Yeravam would give up this great opportunity of eternal pleasure for not going before David? The sages note he was destined to be before Ben Yishai in Gan Eden but because he had the audacity to ask, he was put second. Our sages write, “Those who chase honor, honor will run away from them”. Rabbi Akiva Tatz teaches us an important lesson in human insights. He says, “As man gets older, his desire for physical pleasures for women decreases. However, as compensation, there is an increased desire for honor”.

There are many lessons one can learn from the story of Purim. But one lesson that is relevant to all of us is the unconscious pursuit of honor. Haman ruined his life and the life of others for that desire, and it’s frightening, because to some degree we are all prone to get tested by it at some time.

Importance of Eating a Meal and Drinking Wine on Purim
 Fried Whiting (fish)

Why is it important to have a meal on Purim? Perhaps one may ask an even stronger question. Why is it recommended to drink wine until the point of intoxication? This is uncharacteristic of the Jewish People. Jackie Mason had a funny line –  “Goyim like to drink and Jews like to eat”.  But Jews are not drinkers. Presumably, we may be knowledgeable in all the good and expensive scotches, and can rattle off a list of the fanciest wines at the most elegant restaurants. However, thank G-d for the most part, we talk more than we drink. We take pride in our traditions and try to connect and emulate with the generations before us. There is a famous concept; ‘The deeds of fathers are signs for children’. What’s important to note is that we also try to correct the flaws of our ancestors. And that’s the underlying reason why the meal takes place.

Mordechai, the leader of the Jewish People, decreed that absolutely no one should attend the party of King Achashverosh. But many Jews didn’t listen and accepted the invitation, angering G-d, and thus the Jewish troubles began. On Purim we try to correct ‘the meal’ by eating, drinking and rejoicing with the purest intentions, unlike our ancestors who ate and became intoxicated, drinking wine in a negative way.

There is another reason why we indulge in a lavish feast on Purim. One might wonder why there is no mention of a feast on Chanukah. After all, we were saved from the hands of the Greeks. (On Chanukah we actually get away cheap with latkes and jelly doughnuts!) So why not have the meat and the wine and the whole nine yards on Chanukah? The reason is that the Greeks’ intentions were to destroy us spiritually by abolishing our religion, but sparing the physical body. However, Haman wanted to destroy us both spiritually and physically. Therefore, we elevate our physicality with the finest foods the world can offer. The body and the soul are part and parcel, so eating and drinking with pleasure with all the proper brachot, is ideal.

Symbolism plays a major importance in our religion and that’s another reason why we have the Purim meal. The one moment in which the events turned in our favor, was at the meal at the end of the Megillah with Queen Esther, King Achashverosh, and Haman eating and drinking wine. Esther revealed her origin and accused Haman of trying to kill her People. The Jewish luck changed. Therefore, we commemorate the meal with the finest, hoping our luck will change for the better.

The simple explanation of the passage “When wine goes in, the secret comes out”, is, when people get drunk, they blurt out what is in their heart, which is often embarrassing. Rabbi Akiva Tatz has a different explanation quoting the mystics. “What’s the secret”? He explains, “When wine goes in, one sees life in a clearer picture. He becomes more spiritual, discovering deep ideas and a thinking pattern that can never be expressed with words. Words are limited; they are specific, and one who consumes wine can never express the feelings he experiences”.

One important note; there is a fine line between a spiritual high on wine and being drunk. When wine is being consumed, it has the uncanny ability to lift any fear and paranoia that exists, resulting in a tremendous bond between friends. Our sages mentioned that when we received the Torah, we were unified ‘as one nation like one heart’. G-d loves unity, thereby elevating us to a very high spiritual level. The one time this level was surpassed was on Purim. Wine is symbolic of unity.

 

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Vayikra

 

“A Cup of Coffee 

&

A Quick Thought

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Vayikra

March 10, 2011

4 Adar II, 5771

Dear Friend,

The one place and time where I got to know my family was at the Shabbat Friday night dinner table. Shabbat was family time. It was the centerpiece of the week where we sang Shabbat Zmirot, had discussions, and exchanged Divrei Torah (Torah insights) on the Parasha (weekly portion). The goal of this newsletter is to provide a Torah thought and some insights into our Jewish world.

Today, we have the opportunity to receive a smorgasbord of Torah information at our fingertips. If one is able to remember life before the internet, access to attain Torah information was limited. With the progress of the internet, thank G-d we have countless choices of information to feed our souls.

In This Issue
The Power of Names
Fried Foods

The Power of Names

 

Name tag

 

 

Any self-improvement course, for example Dale Carnegie, will emphasize that if one is to achieve the keys to success, one has to incorporate an ability of remembering names. Calling somebody by his or her name, draws them closer and will give them the feeling of, ‘Hey, I’m important’. The reason for this is that a name is the essence of who we are.

The weekly Torah reading (parasha), begins with ‘”Vayikra el Moshe” – and [G-d] called to Moshe’. Our sages teach us that Moshe was given ten names, and each name represents a facet of his personality. Batya,Pharaoh’s daughter, who went against her father’s decree, which was to kill all Jewish male newborns, drew the basket containing baby Moshe, out of the water. Moshe is the name she picked. But apparently, there is a linguistic problem with the name.   The name Moshe means “will draw from the water” as opposed to Mashehu, drew from the water – past tense. If the Torah wants to reward Pharaoh’s daughter and to glorify the courageous, self-sacrificing act she did, why is he called Moshe? Mashehu is better suited. We learn from our sages that when G-d created Adam, the angels asked, “What is the nature of man?” Whereas G-d replied, “His wisdom will exceed yours”. This was demonstrated by man naming all beings of creation something no angel could master. It’s an accomplished task and takes great wisdom to accurately give someone his or her true name.

The sages say G-d gave divine spirit to fathers, a gifted trait passed down from Adam to incorporate names to their newborns. Of course the father has to be in unison with the mother. The word ‘name’ in Hebrew is pronounced ‘shem’. If one changes the vowels under the letters of shem, it would be pronounced ‘sham’ meaning ‘there’, indicating one has to go there, has to get to a destination for one to complete his task which is associated with his name. Shem and sham are incorporated in the word ne-sham-mah (soul). Man’s soul is brought down in this world to fulfill his mission. The Torah hints of people who have fulfilled their name potential. The Torah sometimes writes ‘ushemo David’ (his name is David), ushemo Manoah (his name is Manoah), ‘ushemo Mordechai’, etc. Before the name, there is an introduction, a chaperone, ‘Ushemo’. This indicates that he will be seated (sham) there in the ultimate destination – heaven. However, the Torah indicates there are those that are written “Naval shemo”.  Here the shemo follows the individual name indicating he did not accomplish his task in this world.

Moshe has ten names, each indicating a separate dimension of his multi-faceted personality. Each name portrays a side not described by the other. Yet, it was the name Moshe by which he was known. Apparently, this name, more than others, is the central feature of his personality. Batya prophesized that this baby boy will draw people out of trouble. His task will be to help the Jewish people and to lead them out of slavery. The measure of kindness that Batya showed towards this boy was tremendous.  However, the emphasis is not on her accomplishments, but on the potential she saw in this child, which prompted her to call him Moshe.

Fried Foods
 Fried Whiting (fish)

 

By the time I reached my late teens, my family became very health conscious. We decreased our meat intake, ate more fruits and vegetables, had less portions at mealtime, and healthy snacks were encouraged. But it was the fried food that was totally obliterated from the menu, both at home and abroad. Today, unfortunately, I’m not as diligent as I was – with the exception of fried food. There are a number of foods that I missed and occasionally the craving for them is unbearable.

Every time when Purim arrived, Mom would make samuseh puryaih (meat and onions wrapped in this delicious dough – deep fried), which would require napkins. Purim is not the same without it. But I must warn you; it’s definitely not a mishloach manot item (traditional special treats put into a nice basket and presented to friends).

Another item that is missed is fried whiting (fish) served Friday night at the Shabbat table. Today our families bake the fish and it tastes just as good. According to our sages, it’s important to have fish Friday night. The reason is because G-d rewarded Noach and his family for taking care of the animals in the ark, by giving them the ability to eat meat and chicken. But the fish did not take residence in the ark. Therefore, man was forbidden to eat fish. However, as a reward for receiving the Torah, which was given on Shabbat, fish became permissible for consumption from then on.

Another delicacy that is missed is chushcelik served at Bukharian yartzeit dinners. The sweet, soft, fried, thin rounded dough with confectioners’ sugar on top that melts in your mouth, is out of this world. The rounded large Slinky-like shape represents the continuous circle in which G-d runs the world; one life begins and another ends.

Another fried food star is falafel. The aroma of falafel is very mesmerizing and therefore hard to resist. I’m sure there are many places to get good falafel. There are a few that come to mind. Moshe’s Falafel on 45th St and Ave of the Americas in New York City is very good. This establishment operates out of a cart. Another highly regarded and famous falafel place is Shlomo’s in Jerusalem. Shlomo also operates out of a cart and one can find him in the Bukarian quarters near Kikar Malchei Yisrael in Geula. The falafel is so good at Shlomo’s that people come from all over Jerusalem go to eat there. Don’t forget to bring reading material because the lines are long!

In many Yeshiva high schools, there is an extended Thursday-night program that is mandatory. When I was in Yeshiva, there were not many people who had an interest – as evidenced by the attendance, and the school had a hard time enforcing this rule. But in my junior year, changes were made. The school decided to serve delicious breaded fried chicken with potato salad for a side dish, resulting in an escalation in attendance by 98%. After a few months, some students got smart; they wanted the best of both worlds, and decided to leave through the back way after dinner. But the administration anticipated this move. The principal himself was guarding the front door, while the assistant principal guarded the back. Eat and run doesn’t apply here.

We learned last week that if one is in the middle of a meal (after saying the blessing on the bread), and cake is brought on the table, a blessing is required only if he’s eating it as a dessert. If he’s eating it for satisfaction, a bracha is not necessary. In general, if enough cake is eaten to satisfy your hunger, a hamotzi is required. There is an exception to this rule – if the bread was fried. According to Jewish law, frying the bread changes its form and structure, and will lose any potential of raising its status to bread. One can consume as many jelly doughnuts as he wants and the blessing will always be mezonot.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Pekudei

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Pekudei

March 3, 2011

27 Adar I, 5771

 Dear Friend,

The one place and time where I got to know my family was at the Shabbat Friday night dinner table. Shabbat was family time. It was the centerpiece of the week where we sang Shabbat Zmirot, had discussions, and exchanged Divrei Torah (Torah insights) on the Parasha (weekly portion). The goal of this newsletter is to provide a Torah thought and some insights into our Jewish world.

Today, we have the opportunity to receive a smorgasbord of Torah information at our fingertips. If one is able to remember life before the internet, access to attain Torah information was limited. With the progress of the internet, thank G-d we have countless choices of information to feed our souls.

 

n This Issue
Respect of Privacy
Marble Cake

Respect of Privacy

 

Privacy

 

 In this week’s Parasha (Torah reading), many details are given about the Mishkan (tabernacle) and the high priest’s attire. We learn that there are many interesting items that the kohen gadol is required to wear. One in particular are bells (pa’amonim). Why is G-d requiring the high priest to wear bells? It’s hard to imagine the priest walking towards the kodesh hakodoshim, the special concealed room where he prays for life for the Jewish people on Yom Kippur, dingiling along.

Why are bells part of the wardrobe? “Respect” is one of the reasons the commentaries give. Respect? Respect for what? It seems quite the opposite. One would be causing a tremendous annoyance walking with noisy bells rattling. The kohen gadol is a very respected person in the Jewish nation. He’s not a goat! But the bells are deemed not less important then the rest of the items in the Mishkan. We learn a valuable lesson from these bells. The kohen gadol should not enter the kodesh hakadashim unannounced. G-d requires the high priest to ring the bell before entering His special home. It’s as if he’s ringing the doorbell and asking G-d, “May I come in”? Some commentaries say this is the original source for ringing a doorbell before entering one’s house.

We see the importance of privacy and kavod. One should show sensitivity to respecting one’s space, and in this case, G-d’s space. Privacy is deeply rooted in Judaism. The giving of the Torah is often compared to a husband and wife, which is equivalent to G-d and the Jewish people. One of the most important aspects of building a couple’s bond is strengthening the intimacy between them. It’s not a coincidence the Torah was given in the desert. Just like in the desert, G-d and the Jews were left alone, so too, should a couple be given their privacy.

Dr. Goldman, a psychologist, working at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim says, “A person being violated of their privacy is affected in a tremendous way. It’s built into the human psyche, the non-tolerance of intrusion. Therefore, a person’s dignity is compromised and he feels defensive, affecting ones self-esteem. A person feels not worthy of being treated with dignity.”

It’s a big problem today with family members-relatives who think they have a 24/7 green light to enter the confines of someone’s home. People should show sensitivity in not violating their fellow’s space and to give ample warning of visitation and wait for permission for entrance. The various items found in the mishkan and on the kohen gadol’s clothing are symbolic of man’s creativity. The pa’amonim (bells) are man’s ability to achieve the highest level of creativity through privacy.

Marble Cake
 Marble Cake

One of the staples in a synagogue – besides Kiddush wine – is “marble cake”. This is universal, whether it’s Sephardic, Ashkenazi or even Bukarian. We know a hamotzi or mezonot is needed for the requirement of a meal. Therefore, you will always find cake at happy occasions to fulfill this mission. According to our sages, human nature shows tremendous favoritism when we are introduced to something for the first time. Perhaps that’s why childhood experiences are vital in understanding a person’s actions, because the inception makes a huge impression and shapes his future. Possibly, that’s why Jewish law forbids testimony of one party while the other is not present. The judge tends to favor the first words he hears. For me, there definitely is an association between marble cake and childhood, whether it is in synagogue or mom’s weekly shopping indulgence at our favorite bakery. I could not wait to tear open the rectangular white box containing that delicious chocolate frosted marble cake.

Furthermore, Bar Mitzvah celebrations in our elementary school consisted of a tradition of going from class to class with a box of marble cake and a bottle of scotch. The proud Bar Mitzvah boy offered a l’chaim to the Rabbi in a little shot glass with a piece of marble cake. We all watched as the rabbi dunked the piece of marble cake into the scotch and ate it. The scent resulting from the cake-scotch combination would make us hungry. Every time there is a Kiddush today, the first order of business is scotch and marble cake. Those of you who were with us last week learned the concept of ikar-main food, and tofel- secondary. The mezonot (cake, main food) is considered more important than shehakol (scotch, secondary). Therefore, one would only say the blessing mezonot. Scotch is considered a precious commodity by many – including yours truly. Regardless of these strong feelings, it is secondary in the case of the dunking.

Today, when we are yearning for that marble cake taste of yesteryear or perhaps when one has developed a more mature taste, one would wonder where they can satisfy that particular craving. For starters, there’s excellent marble cake at Kaffs Bakery in Williamsburg, Brooklyn; Ostrovitsky’s Bakery in Flatbush; or Queens Pita on Main St. Whether chocolate frosting is on their marble cake or not, it is amazing. I’m sure there are many others that we missed. If there are others, an email would be appreciated.

My parents often took pride in their Bukarian hospitality as being the best. Visiting other ethnic Jewish communities over the years, I find them also boasting that their hospitality is the best. So much for cultural superiority; for many Jews, hospitality and Shabbat go hand and hand. When the marble cake makes its entrance after a four course Shabbat meal, do we make a bracha on the cake?

Cakes serve as a dual function. It could be eaten as a dessert or snack in order to satisfy one’s desire for sweets. However, cakes are also often eaten to satisfy one’s appetite. Accordingly, if cakes are eaten for dessert, a bracha should be required. But if cake is eaten for satiation, a bracha is not required. There is however, another consideration; there are some mezonot that fall under the category of bread, so no bracha is necessary. It is important to note every community has slightly different laws and one should ask their local Rabbi.

Shabbat Shalom.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Bo


“I DON’T WANT TO OFFEND YOUR-MAJESTY, YOUR-HIGHNESS, BUT YOUR FIRST BORN BOYS WILL DIETONIGHT” said Moshe to Pharaoh.

That’s a weird way to address a king: respect and a fist in the mouth!  Before the tenth plague, Moshe informs Pharaoh that all of his servants will be looking for Moshe begging him to stop the plague. Turns out, it was actually Pharaoh himself who, in the middle of the night, in pajamas, went door to door trying to find Moshe to beg that he and the Israelites should leave.

Moshe was very accurate and meticulous when speaking to Pharaoh. If so, why wasn’t he more accurate by proclaiming that indeed it would be Pharaoh himself who will be parading in his nightly attire seeking him?

Moshe acted properly in treating the king with respect and not hurting an authoritative figure. By pointing a finger at Pharaoh and telling him “this will happen to you” is a gross lack of respect.

RESPECT?!-EXCUSE ME CHABIBI! Pharaoh was a RASHA! He tortured and enslaved the Jews; he ordered the execution of Jewish babies! You want to give this monster respect?! On the contrary, Pharaoh should be dragged around town and humiliated!!

However, the Torah is trying to teach us about respecting authority, any authority. There has to be respect for the leaders, teachers and parents. This is a very hard and foreign concept for us Americans to fathom, as we live in a democratic society where every time a politician slips, we scream “throw the bum out”!

The National Rifle Association has taken an unfathomable position after the Newtown tragedy, in which twenty six people, mostly children, were killed; they are in favor of guns. Truth be told, the NRA represents the epitome of democracy. The NRA was created as the result of the second amendment which permitted guns to be possessed. This was to ensure that no government will turn tyranny; hence there should be an armed militia accessible, just in case.  Initially, this seems very appropriate. However, although there are plenty of positives to a democratic system, all of them are at the expense of the watering down of respect for authoritative figures.

The Torah wants to emphasize the importance of having respect for authority; a king, a president, no matter how much the late show hosts poke fun of them. They represent the people and they enforce order in society. G-d loves an orderly society, even at the expense of believing in Him.

First Portion: * Even Pharaoh’s advisers suggested that he release the Israelites, but he refused. Unfortunately, the advisers still followed his command. History often repeats itself; this is the first of many times where “they just followed orders” from their evil leader. One cannot do that; opposition groups should have arose if they thought Pharaoh was wrong; grass roots should have begun to make themselves known. However, they didn’t, and therefore the Egyptian nation as a whole was responsible for their actions, just as Pharaoh was.

* Moshe and Aharon threaten to bring another plague, locusts.

* Pharaoh’s response was to let just the men go, and leave the women and children. Moshe obviously refused, setting the stage for the locusts.

Second Portion: * Pharaoh runs to find Moshe to beg him to stop the plague, stating, “I have sinned to G-d”. Sounds sincere, no?! Ha! Only a short time later, Pharaoh returns to his stance of refusal to let them go.

* Moshe brought upon Egypt the next plague, darkness, through the command of G-d.

* Many of the Israelites who were not following in the way of G-d perished in this plague. The reason why G-d chose this particular plague is because He did not want the Egyptians to say, “We’re not the only ones being punished”. By the time the Egyptians arose from the darkness, those Jews were already buried.

Third Portion: * Pharaoh said to Moshe, “You can leave, but your flock and cattle shall remain”. Moshe retorted back, “We will leave with all we have”.

* G-d made it so that the Jews were able to take gold, silver, and clothing from the Egyptians. The Egyptians themselves honored the requests of the Israelites to “lend them” gold, silver etc.

Fourth Portion: * G-d informs Moshe of the last plague, death of the Egyptian firstborn children.

* G-d instructs Moshe and Aharon how to fulfill the first commandment of the Torah. G-d informs them starting with “This month, I will implement a calendar system”. The calendar is based on the moon and is regulated by the sun. The time span between one new moon and the next is 29 days, 12 hours, 44 minutes, and 3 ½ seconds. Since a month has to be composed of complete days, the months alternate between 29 and 30 days. So a 12-month year contains 354 days, as opposed to 365 days in a solar year. In order to make up the eleven day difference which, after many years, will cause a problem because Nissan, a spring month (Pesach has to be in the spring), will fall out in the winter. Therefore, the Torah instituted a leap year, which adds a 13th month (Adar ll) to the year, seven times every nineteen years. This will ensure that Pesach will fall out in the springtime each year.

* The Seder night of Pesach, which we still commemorate today, is a very powerful night because that was when G-d showed tremendous mercy on our ancestors many years ago. On that night, back then, we were instructed to perform the Pesach offering, which consists of roasting a lamb or sheep (these animals were sacred and were the Egyptian gods, by slaughtering them, it’s a slap in the face to the Egyptians). The blood from the offering was to be painted on the doorpost. While we were eating the Pesach offering in our homes, G-d skipped over our houses. Only the Egyptians were struck when He killed the firstborns.

* We are introduced in this portion as to how to perform our obligation on the holiday of Pesach.

Fifth Portion: * Interestingly, the Israelites were commanded not leave their homes on the night of the death of the firstborns of the Egyptians, “or else the angel of death will smite you too.”  One must ask, wasn’t it understood that G-d himself would kill the Egyptian firstborns? Still, the angel was specifically instructed to kill any Jews who left their homes. We learn an important lesson; one is not permitted to feel good in watching their enemy being tortured or killed. Although the Egyptians tortured the Jews, G-d still made sure not to let them see what was done to the Egyptians.

Sixth Portion: * Pharaoh ran out in his pajamas in the middle of the night to find Moshe and begged him to stop the plagues and to leave. He said the whole Jewish nation should leave.

*There were 600,000 men between the ages of 20 and 60 who left Egypt.

*In their haste, they left while the bread did not finish baking. This bread is called matzoh.

*The Jews were in exile 210 years.

Seventh Portion: * We conclude the Parsha with two passages, one is about the firstborn and the other is teaching the future generations. As we got prepared to leave Egypt, we were in essence graduating to a “nation” status. The narrative is directing us from slave status to a bright future where, now, the father of the household has a say and influence, and will be able to pass down the tradition of the gift that was given by G-d – the Torah.

Parshat Yitro

First Portion: * Yitro was Moshe’s father-in-law as well as a former advisor to Pharaoh. Yitro actually advised favorably for the Jews on the subject of the Israelites’ fate. However, his advice was not taken well, and he was forced to flee. He also was a high priest in Midyan.

* Many nations had seen and heard the miracles that G-d performed for the Jews in Egypt and at sea. However, Yitro comprehended what G-d had done. He was impressed to the point that it changed him and he was ready to convert to Judaism.

*Originally, Yitro’s name was Yeter, only later the letter VAV was added to his name, making it Yitro. This served as both as a sign of his having become a Jew and to indicate that the parsha of appointing Judges was added to the Torah in his honor. In many instances, the Torah adds a letter to a person’s name as a sign of his having acquired greatness. Conversely, a letter is omitted from someone’s name if he fails to maintain his spiritual status.

* Moshe sends a message to Tziporah, his wife, to meet him at a certain point in the desert. Yitro arrived with Tziporah and Moshe’s two sons at the scheduled meeting place.

* A meal offering was initiated by Yitro commemorating his circumcision and his introduction to Judaism. We see many years later that the King of Israel, Shaul, warned the Canaanites, who were the descendants of Yitro, to leave their residence within Amalek (enemies of the Jews) because war was imminent. The reason for such concern as to not to harm them stemmed from this meal celebration between Moshe, Aharon, Yitro, and other high-ranking officials. We see the power of a sit down meal celebration when done for the sake of mitzvah, and how positive it can be so that it has long lasting effects, even hundreds of years later.

Second Portion: * Yitro’s experience in public office where he had had a high ranking position in Pharaoh’s super power government, enabled him to advise Moshe on how to be more proficient in his duties and make the justice system run better.

* There is a question as to why Moshe wasn’t able to derive the advice that Yitro gave him from the Torah itself? We have to understand that although the Torah provides us with great wisdom, there will be, on occasion, an individual who can provide sound advice. G-d’s purposely teaching us that it’s not the intellectual superiority which is the main part, nor are we more culturally advanced than the other nations, rather the focal point is the spiritual superiority.

Third Portion: * Moshe took the advice of his father-in-law.

* Yitro decided to return to Midyan.

* Why did Yitro decide to return to Midyan? Wouldn’t he feel more comfortable with his new comrades (his fellow circumcised Jews)? (See one of my schmooze in the email newsletter). One should note that Ruth the Midyanit convert decided to go to Israel with her former mother-in-law rather than go back to her former home. It would be most difficult to maintain one’s religious level among people who do not have the same goals as you. So indeed, why did Yitro return to Midyan?

Fourth Portion: * The Israelites arrived at Mount Sinai and Moshe went up to receive the Torah.

* G-d told Moshe to tell the people, “If you keep My Torah, I will hold you in great esteem”.

Fifth Portion: * Moshe came down from the mountain and related everything that G-d is demanding of us. The elders, the leaders, all answered back “We will do whatever G-d says”.

* Moshe gave instructions for the preparations necessary to receive the Torah.

* The nation gathered at the bottom of the mountain.

Sixth Portion: * G-d’s aura had descended and rested upon the Israelites. This was the closest the Jews have ever been to the presence of G-d.

* The first two commandments were recited by G-d. However, the people weren’t able to withstand the rays of G-d’s presence. Therefore, Moshe recited the last eight.

* The Ten Commandments are divided into five and five. The first five on the right are commandments between G-d and man, while the second five are commandments between man and his fellow man.

Seventh Portion: * One cannot even imagine what a special moment in history this was. The scripture says they actually saw the voices!!

* Only three Jews did not witness the revelation at Mount Sinai, Yitro and Moshe’s two sons. How can that be – Moshe’s sons? This was designed by G-d so that Moshe can perform what every father and Rabbi is commanded to do, to pass down the Torah to the next generation. Almost the whole nation experienced the Sinai experience, so there was no passing down for a while. Still, they learned from the best teacher and the best lesson; Moshe taught his two sons.

* Three million Jews witnessed the receiving of the Torah. No other religion has witnesses of this magnitude that have seen the revelation of their religion.