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This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yisschar Frand, Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Akiva Tatz, Paysach Krohn, Yitzchak Aminov, Jay Shapiro, , Yossi Bilus, Yoav Babachanov, Dr. Abba Goldman
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We, humans, identify things through association, the start of the Baseball season with the holiday of Pesach, fresh start of a new year – Rosh Hashana, flowers and cheesecakes are part and parcel with the holiday of Shavuot.
Aside from the aesthetic beauty and the extra pounds that one enjoys on this holiday, when one focuses on the spiritual part of Shavuot, there is a glaring and obvious question about this Yom Tov. Why is it called Shavuot?
The word – Shavuot – means “weeks.” It marks the completion of the seven-week counting period between Passover and Shavuot.
The main event of the holiday was commemorating the giving of the Torah which was a far-reaching spiritual event-one that touched the essence of the Jewish soul for all times. Our sages have compared it to a wedding between G-d and the Jewish people. Shavuot also means “oaths,” for on this day G-d swore eternal devotion to us, and we in turn pledged everlasting loyalty to Him.
However, if we had to pick a good name for the holiday of Shavuot, it would seem like there is a much better name for the holiday: Simchat Torah! Why not? We received the Torah on Shavuot. We celebrate that event — Simchat Torah! What could be a more logical name for this holiday? “Torah he chayenu-Torah is our life” Hey!! That’s another good name for the holiday. We received the Torah on that day so isn’t it appropriate to have Torah in the heading?
It seems like one is ordering deli at a Chinese restaurant. The main event should be incorporated in the title and here it’s not.
In addition, the Torah never refers to Shavuot by a particular calendar date as it does with all other holidays. Passover is described as the 15th of Nissan, Sukkot – the 15th of Tishrei, and so on. Yet, Shavuot is mentioned as “seven weeks or 49 days after Passover.” The Torah implies that if theoretically no one would count the seven weeks, Shavuot would not take place that year. Shavuot can only exist when and if the counting preparations have occurred. Why is this so?
 Intriguingly, the answer lies in what we, the world, perceive as being sacred, and identifies us the most – our name. “Can’t mess with our name” we cry and point to the privacy laws. How dare they?! The name is our essence! We spent much time in naming a child. The name of something – defines it. What interesting is how Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch compares the Hebrew word for ‘name’ (shem) with the Hebrew word for ‘there’ (sham). A name defines an object. It tells us where it is and of what its essence consists. The name “shem” goes there “sham”; it’s one in the same. We see “shem” is on the move. Where is it going? That depends on its name. Nevertheless it’s in motion till it runs out of gas. Then we die.
We learn: Avraham had ten nisyonot – 10 tests based on his name. The root of nissayon – test is “nasa” – to elevate. Apparently, Avraham
So it seems, man is constantly on the go and that “go” – “sham” is spent on preparation. What is important is that the preparation should be allocated through the guidelines of the Torah. The holiday of Shavuot and the weeks before defines life’s concept. Life is the embodiment of preparation. We learned the famous Midrash: “we are in a corridor waiting to get in to the grand ball room. Remarkably, we learn: one receives credit not just with accomplishments but also the time spent. His preparation counts. The seven weeks preceding Shavuot is part in parcel with the holiday, for it is the essence of life, similarly to a name, where there is a mission. There are challenges daily and man perfects his name every step of the way. Interestingly, when someone is sick, a name is added, perhaps, because he exhausted his name. With a new name added, he now has a reason to live for he has to work on the challenges that the new name brings.
 The highly competitive Jewelry business is such that we often, I say “we” for I was once a part of it, have to run from office to office, building to building to receive the merchandise that we need or approach clients to “make the sale”. Manny Polack is one unique individual who allocated his time wisely, leaving not one moment wasted. It took Manny about seven years to finish the entire six volumes of the Mishna. He accomplished that feat by studying the mishnayot while waiting for the elevators between buildings! There is a considerable amount of down time – waiting for elevators. I often dreamed if we can just beam up or down to our destination like they do in the fantasy science fiction show – Star Trek. Manny was able to take advantage and use that wasted time wisely.The antithesis of allocating
The Torah quotes an interesting dialogue between Yaakov and the Angel of Eisav, whom he fought with. The Angel asked to be released because it was morning and he had to go back to heaven. Yaakov responded that he would not release the Angel until he gave Yaakov a blessing. The Angel asked Yaakov what his name was and, when Yaakov answered, then told him that he would no longer be known as Yaakov, he would from here on be called Yisrael. Then Yaakov turned the tables, and asked the Angel what his name was. The Angel responded, “Why are you asking me what my name is?”
This is a very strange dialogue, to say the least. The Angel’s response was not “I do not need to tell you my name” or “I am not allowed to tell you my name.” Nor was it “I do not have a name.” The Angel merely turned the tables and asked Yaakov, “How will you benefit from knowing my name?”
Why does Yaakov want to know his name? And what does the Guardian Angel of Eisav mean when he says “Why are you asking my name?”
Rashi alludes to these questions. Rashi explains the Angel’s response as “we Angels have no set names — our names are dependent on the current mission for which we are being sent.”
This answer, however, does not fully suffice. The Angel in question DID have a definite mission. He must have had a name associated with that mission. We in fact know who he was. He was Sama-el, the archangel of Eisav. We continue to deal with him up until this very day. He has one function — he is the instigator against the Jewish people. He is the embodiment of the Satan. He has one task in which he has been engaged in throughout the millennia. So why did he refuse to reveal his name to Yaakov? What did he mean when he asked, “Why are you asking my name?”
 Yaakov told the Angel “We have had a battle and I know that this will be an ongoing battle. Explain your essence to me. What are you all about? Let me know your “name” – Yaakov was looking for the key to pass on to his children and grandchildren throughout the generations — information regarding how to deal with the archangel of Eisav in this ongoing struggle. “Tell me the nature of our fight,” Yaakov asked. By disclosing his name, Yaakov would be able to learn the essence of the angel. What would make him tic?The Angel’s answer to this question was “it does not help to know my name, because I am not just one thing that you will have to conquer.” The Angel alluded to the fact that throughout the generations he would be changing. Sometimes, he would be Hellenism. Sometimes, he would be Socialism. Sometimes, he would be Communism. All the tests and all the philosophies and all the battles that we have had to fight throughout the generations are embodied in this one Angel. He could, in fact, not define his essence for Yaakov because the nature of his essence (which represents our struggle with Eisav) keeps changing. Sometimes, it pushes us from one direction; sometimes it pushes us from the opposite direction. It is always a different fight.
There is a dispute in the Talmud [Chullin 91a] whether the Angel appeared to Yaakov like an idolater or like a Torah scholar. Which is it? A Torah scholar looks a lot different than an idolater! What did he look like?
The answer is that he could be both. There is no one definition and there is no one battle plan. We can never say that we have conquered the archangel of Eisav because he can always rear his ugly head in a totally different manifestation in the future.
This is the archangel of Eisav. “It does not help for me to tell you my name. There is no battle plan. I cannot tell you this is who I am because I am ever changing.”
Perhaps, he did not disclose the name for he knew Yaakov would indeed discover his true essence and prevent him from infiltrating the Jewish nation. Eisav’s Angel, no matter how complex can be defined because every name, its essence, has a destination.
Many years ago, I read an interesting article regarding Governor John Connolly’s wife – Nellie, who was one of the passengers in the car where President John F Kennedy was assassinated. Kennedy instilled a vibrant fresh energy in the American people. He inspired the nation to become doers not takers.
“We were all in our 40’s,” she recalled of the events leading to the assassination “We didn’t think the world owed us a living. We thought we owed the world, and we were ready to charge.”
Nellie Connolly
We, Jews, have the Torah that is G-d’s gift to us and through its guidance we’ll be able to use our valuable gift of taking charge and go through, not just the seven weeks of preparation, but also life’s challenges, making use of our wonderful name properly.
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What does the receiving of the Torah have to do with the name Shavuot?
Everywhere one turns, they can smell and see, the breathtaking scent and colorful sight of flowers because this time of the year, which corresponds with the holiday of Shavuot, plant life is in full bloom.Sibling Rivalry
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This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Yisschar Frand, Berel Wein Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus, Dr. Abba Goldman and Mr. Shmuel Yosipov
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 Siblings’ rivalry. A number of years ago in the most coveted sport events of the year, where 100 million viewers tuned in, Footballs highest honor, the two best teams that played the Ravens and the 49ers had an interesting twist in their story line. Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh and his younger brother Jim, head man of the San Francisco 49ers, became the first pair of brothers to coach against each other in the Super Bowl. If one thinks that’s super, in the early 1960’s President John F Kennedy needed help to run a super power and named his younger brother Robert -the Attorney General. Here are two brothers heading the most powerful country in the world. Whether it be the Marx brothers, Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo making the world laugh or watching the parents of the Williams sisters, who competed against each other on Tennis’s grand stage, uncomfortably not knowing who to cheer for, siblings can put the best performance, on the highest level, out there!!!.
There is something very interesting in this week’s Parshiot that one should take note. Parshat Acharei-Mot contains the list of forbidden sexual relationships. Vayikra 18:18 contains the Biblical prohibition for a person to marry his wife’s sister. In expressing this prohibition, the Torah uses the word “litzror” [to make a co-wife].
The Ramban comments: This verb expresses the reason for this prohibition. Most of the forbidden relations (e.g. — mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, etc.) were simply forbidden without stating a reason. However, the Torah does state a reason by a sister-in-law, namely that it is inappropriate to make two sisters into co-wives of the same husband. These two women should ideally love one another. Placing them into a situation of rivalry will inevitably cause those who should have been best of friends to have a hostile relationship with one another.
 The Ramban continues: The Torah does not state this regarding a daughter or mother of one’s wife, because they remain to be forbidden even after his wife’s death (unlike the situation with the sisters, where a sister is permitted to marry her brother-in-law if her sister — his first wife – dies). The Ramban distinguishes between the “ervah”-forbidden relations of two sisters and that of other relations. Here the Torah did not forbid the marriage because of “ervah” but because of the social harm it would bring to the sibling relationship, which at any rate is subject to rivalry. To avoid aggravating that natural sibling rivalry to intolerable levels, the Torah forbade a man to simultaneously be married to two sisters. The proof that this prohibition is different than all the others (and that it is not because of “ervah” or “she’er basar” [close relationship] but for some other reason) is the very fact that the prohibition expires upon the death of one of the sisters.
We learn two novel ideas from this Ramban.
First, we see from the fact that the Torah includes this prohibition in the chapter of forbidden relationships (arayot) that the Torah treats the matter of causing sisters to hate one another with the same severity as it treats the cardinal sin of arayot.
Second, we see how important it is in the eyes of the Torah for children to get along with one another. The Torah bans two sisters from marrying the same person for the simple reason that the Torah does not want siblings to fight with each other. Whether we are ourselves siblings or whether we are parents who have children who are siblings, we all know that this is indeed a very big challenge.
As a matter of fact, the book of Bereishit, which comprises a substantial part of the entire written Torah, contains within it almost no commandments and is basically a book of narrative tracing the development of one family – eventually seventy in number – and of the difficulties that this family encountered over generations, purposely waits till the very end, till we finally correct the flaw we’ve had throughout the book, where then the family is elevated to a nation.
One has to realize the first man, Adam’ sons, Kayin and Hevel did not get along. Moreover, the pattern continues, Yitzchak and Yishmael, Yaacov and Eisav, Leah and Rachel, Yosef and his brothers didn’t see eye to eye either.
It wasn’t till the end of the book, where we see that Menashe, Yosef’ eldest son, not bothered by his grandfather Yaakov placing his right hand over his younger brother Efraim where he gave a more important blessing. It’s no coincidence that the optimal blessing is, one should be like Efraim and Menashe.
The book concludes with Yosef and his brothers at peace with each other. Unity is in place with the fine end taste of Efraim and Menashe – the ultimate “giving” brothers.
When we start the next book, Shemot, it’s no coincidence that we find nation is led by two brothers Moshe and Aharon. We learn in the beginning of the story line, one of the reasons, that Moshe was not willing to take the mantle of leading the Israelites out of Egypt was that his older brother Aharon might be slighted. It wasn’t until G-d reassured him that quite the opposite – Aharon will be elated with Moshe being chosen over him. It seems like a healthier family structure: where the respect and sensitivity replaces jealousy and strife, found all too often in Bereishit.
There is a famous Midrash (a body of interpretations of Torah texts along with instructional stories as taught by Chazal (Rabbinical Jewish sages of the post-Temple era) that provide an intrinsic analysis to passages in the Tanach.) where there were two brothers, a rich man, who was married with a big family, and a poor man who was not married who were concerned about the other’s well-being. They lived on the opposite side of the mountain. The rich man, at night, secretly placed grains in his brother’s property; knowingly he would be too ashamed and not accept his kindness. He rationalized my brother is too poor and has nobody to look after him. While the poor man, at night also secretly placed grains in his brother’s possessions reasoning my brother has a big family and would find it difficult, for he has too much on his mind, to fetch the grains himself.
One night as the both, covertly, were going to the other, they unexpectedly collided on the top of the mountain. Startled and surprised, they realized it was the other who were placing the grain at the other one’s property where then they joyfully embraced. G-d loved the moment and the tremendous affection they showed one another so much that He proclaimed this site, on top of the mountain, is where the Temple will be built.
My Mother had mentioned that when she and my father migrated to this country, basically without family, they were joined by another couple whom they arrived together with on the same ship. She mentioned fondly that she had such an intense friendship with her, Nurit Alibayof, the first year, not surprising since they had no family and difficulty in language and culture. Although I wasn’t born yet, however, when I did experience how they interacted years later, I could not imagine their friendship any better for it was very strong for 50 years until Nurit’s death. However, it seems the closeness my mother has with her sister is quite different in nature. That too is one of extreme closeness. The common bond of having the same parents, same gender, similar of age and same upbringing translates to a very powerful closeness which I’ve experienced and observed over the years. Similarly, my wife and her sister have a relationship that has that sibling/of the same gender great intensity.
However, for the most part siblings of the same gender are more prone to fighting sometimes in the most vicious and extraordinary way. Despite the odds though, we have to look at the flip side, the same gender sibling relationship could positively be translated as extremely productive and for that reason, perhaps, the Torah does not want to tamper with that relationship.
What are the measures to prevent the “bad blood” between the two siblings? One has to realize as Dr. Goldman says, that “it’s all up to the parents, they set the stage; the atmosphere is in their hands”. He mentioned one method often used to motivate a child to excel is to belittle his actions by showing the other sibling doing better. Although it might be a motivation, however, animosity, jealousy and tension will develop among the siblings. An inevitable common thought will be “Mommy and Daddy love you more than me” enraging the rivalry. The mother and father as well as teacher and camp counselor are leaders and set the tone. The mother and the father have to show that they enjoy their children’s company. Often parents come home from work not wanting to be disturbed. They are doing an injustice to their children. A happy “I want to come home to my family” attitude has to be presented!
It’s very important that a child not feel slighted in any way. I met a parent who is sending one of his twins to one school and another to a different school. I asked him, “wouldn’t just sending them to different classes in the grade be sufficient? Why go to the extreme of a different school altogether? He answered, his wife is a twin and she often felt slighted even in separate classes. Besides, he continued, often schools don’t have same level grades, it’s the “A” class and the “B” class.
 The main message of the “midrash” of the two bothers on the mountain is one of brotherly love and ahavat chinam. The pasuk in Tehillim (Psalm 133:1) states: “Hinei matov u’mah naim, shevet achim gam yachad, Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity. There is something very primal about brotherly love, which may explain why it is so difficult to achieve, and why it is such a rare, valuable gem when find it. Dovid HaMelech wrote about the very thing Yaakov wanted to do: settle among “settled brothers.” Alas, the fulfillment of his dream was premature, not achieving completion in his lifetime, the lifetime of Yosef, or even, within the lifetimes of his surviving brothers.
In fact, we’re still waiting……..
May we speedily in our day have the unity that will lead to the Temple being rebuilt on Mount Moriah.
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Can we push off death?
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This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Moshe Mayer Weiss, Yisschar Frand, Berel Wein , Noach Isaac Oelbaum Yossi Bilus, Dr. Abba Goldman
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Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss mentions in his book “Meaningful life” that the angel of death is called DUMAH which is spelled in hebrew “daled” -“vav”- “mem” “hei”. It seems kind of odd; why do we have to know his name? Are there any gains of us knowing his name? Will it prevent him from killing us if we utter his name? I once knew someone who never forgot the first name of the person he was introduced to. It felt good that someone remembers your name after only having to spend a few minutes with you. It feels like I made an impression on him; it makes one feel important. Perhaps, the angel of death will have a warm feeling that you remembered his name and have second thoughts of going through with his job. I felt sad, one day, when I discovered that one of the employees at a Jewelry store where I did business, occasionally, got retired. The other worker asked me “why are you so sad?” I said: “he made me feel good and youthful because in the twenty years of doing business with you guys, he always called me a kid”. The worker laughed and said “he called everyone a kid whom he didn’t know their name”.
We can actually ward off death, at least some of us and the clue is found in this week’s parsha. However, in order to fully understand the antidote – it would be wise to familiarize ourselves with a famous story that’s been circulating in different variations throughout our Jewish history. There was a Big Rabbi, presumably the Ba’al Shem Tov, however, that might be disputed, and who wanted to know who he will sit next to in Gan Eden (Heaven). G-d granted his wish by presenting the fellow’s name and town where he resides (Facebook did not exist then) where then the Rabbi made his journey via train to the location. The Rabbi received negative vibes as he was inquiring the where-bouts of this individual. People were surprised that the Rabbi wanted to meet such an individual. After, finally, meeting with his Gan Eden partner, a butcher, he was taken a back how little they had in common. To add insult to injury – the tall fat man would, not only, not interrupt his meal when seeing the Rabbi, but would accelerate his eating with vigor. As a matter of fact, besides work the butcher would spend the majority of his time eating. The Rabbi asked the obvious question, “Why do you eat so much?” The butcher responded, “let me tell you a little story, Rabbi”. One day, when I was a little boy, the biggest nightmare which every Jewish child dreads came true. There was a pogrom and our house was singled out. They took all our possessions and lit it on fire in the middle of the street. Then they took my father, who happened to be a tiny skinny man and, effortlessly, threw him into the fire where he was consumed rather quickly. The “pigs” laughed and boasted how easy it was to kill a Jew. With tears I vowed that day, if a pogrom ever happens again to my family, I will make sure that it will not be easy to kill this Jew!! They will have to earn it! This is the reason why I eat so much. The Rabbi realized that every bite of food that this butcher chewed – he was making a conscious effort to enhance the name of G-d and HIS ambassadors – the Jewish people. The Rabbi understood the closeness and devotion to G-d that the butcher etched himself transforming the physical act of eating and all its pleasures to a spiritual realm. G-d is not just in the Synagogue or the study hall; it’s also in all our endeavors. The butcher was a master in accomplishing that feat and therefore merited a seat next to the Rabbi.
Parshat Emor contains the Parsha of the Festivals and amongst the Festivals listed is Yom Kippur, about which it is written: “It is a day of complete rest for you and you shall afflict yourselves; on the ninth of the month in the evening – from evening to evening – shall you rest on your rest day.” [Vayikra 23:32] Yom Kippur is on the Tenth of Tishrei and yet the pasuk specifies “on the ninth of the month in the evening”. The Gemara [Yoma 81a] asks a simple question: “Do we fast on the ninth? Behold: we fast on the tenth!” One of the lessons the Talmud derives is that “whoever eats (i.e. — feasts) on the Eve of Yom Kippur, Scripture renders it as if he fasted on both the ninth and the tenth”.
This Chassidic story of the Rabbi and the butcher enlightens us in understanding the Talmudic analysis regarding “eating” on the ninth of Tishrei. When one eats for the sake of Heaven on the Ninth of Tishrei – so that he will be fortified and better be able to fulfill the mitzvah of not eating on the Tenth of Tishrei – then it is considered as that day too he fulfills a mitzvah equivalent to fasting!! As a matter of fact, there is a custom where one has a formal meal a day before Yom Kippur called the “teshuva” – repentance meal. At the table – the discussion evolves around repentance. There are many who utter the words “L’shem kavod Shabbat-for the purpose of enhancing the Shabbat” before eating. We see how there is an entirely different dimension to eating.
We can eat for the sake of Heaven. We can drink for the sake of Heaven. We can exercise for the sake of Heaven. We can turn almost anything into a mitzvah. It does not require an iota more of an effort. It just depends on what a person is thinking. That is why the butcher in the story with the Baal Shem Tov was going to merit an honorable place in the world to come. One of the cardinal principles of Judaism is gratitude – the necessity and ability to say thank you. Someone who is kafuy tova – unappreciative of what he or she has and ungrateful to the extreme – is deemed to be a sinner, if not in deed certainly in attitude. The Talmud in its inimitable fashion states that a living person should always refrain from complaint – it is sufficient that one is still alive for gratitude to be present and expressed.
In our competitive, materialistic, market driven society, there seems to be little room for expressions of gratitude. But the Torah and all of Jewish tradition and its value system demand that we be grateful and thankful, not only in attitude but in our words and deeds as well. The importance of this concept is something that should be inculcated within our children and grandchildren from the time of their earliest ages. One of the earliest phrases or words that a child should learn is “thank you.” Those who find it difficult to say thank you to other human beings for their help will also find it difficult to say thank You to G-d for the gift of life and all that accompanies that gift. We become accustomed to gifts and kindnesses extended to us and take them for granted. Only when they are no longer there do we begin to appreciate their value and importance. The wise person will learn to say thank you while those gifts, persons and situations are still present among us.
Rabbi Frand points out that the Hebrew word for “admitting” and the Hebrew word for “giving thanks” are one and the same — Hoda’ah. In Hebrew, we say, “I am Modeh that I owe you” (I admit) and we also say, “Modeh Ani lefanecha” (I give thanks before You). There is a blessing in the Shmoneh Esrei called the Blessing of thanksgiving. The blessing begins with the words “Modim anachnu lach”. Rabbi Frand says that the literal translation of these words is not “we thank You”; rather the literal translation is “we admit to You”. The reason why these two words are identical in Hebrew is because a person’s ability to give thanks is based on his ability to admit that he is incomplete. If a person gives thanks to someone, it indicates that he is incomplete — he needed the favors and kindness of someone else. This is why it is sometimes so difficult for us to say “thank you” — because it is so difficult for us to admit that we were in need. The greater the gifts that we receive from someone, the more difficult it is to say “thank you”, because a greater gift indicates our greater need. Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss mentions that the angel of death is called DUMAH which is spelled in hebrew “daled” -“vav”- “mem” “hei”. When rearranged these letters also spell MODEH to give thanks.
Now we can understand more clearly why it’s important to eat on the ninth day proceeding Yom Kippur. If we are MODEH-thankful, if we are conscious and have the right intention, if we appreciate what goes into our mouth and what goes out of it, then we will ward off the angel of death, not just with our prayers the following day, but with pastrami sandwich the day before!!
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There is an astonishing insight into having a meal among friends which was conveyed by Rabbi I. N. Oelbaum. We all know that it’s important when sitting among 2 or more men, a d’var Torah-insights into Torah should be recited. The Chatam Sofer adds that the Mishna where this concept is found is only talking about regular people; therefore they have to say a d’var Torah. However, those that are sensitive and are well versed in Torah matters are exempt because the act of eating itself is as if a sacrifice has been presented on the Altar (the table where we eat is the substitute today for the Altar). A well versed Torah scholar doesn’t have to do anything extra. He is living the “Sacrifice experience” which was performed then. Furthermore, he is trained to appreciate the food and all the pleasures that go with it, which enters the mouth.
Jews begin their day with two words – modeh ani – I acknowledge and thank You God for having given me the gift of life once more as I awake to the new day. A general attitude of gratitude and thanks makes living life easier and simpler, even in the face of obstacles, problems and severe difficulties. The person who is able to appreciate and thank others is more optimistic. That person will always see the glass as being half full. There will be greater appreciation for what one has and less jealousy and angst over what one does not have.
Exercising our famous Jewish gift, brainpower, wisely
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This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Mayer Glazer, Yisschar Frand, Baruch Dopelt, Jay Shapiro, Uri Sklaar, Yossi Bilus, Dr. Abba Goldman
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Hey, Jews are smart! Did you know that? In fact throughout the course of an ordinary day we practice brain exercises by negotiating contemplating issues with, out of all people, ourselves. For example, any child will think twice about eating meat, no matter how appetizing it is, for he knows he can’t have dairy for the next six hours. So the calculations start. He says “If I eat the hot dog now, will I be clear and free to eat the Carvel ice-cream when it comes my way later tonight? Perhaps if I consume the frank quickly and not waste time and maybe the ice cream which I will be receiving will be delayed by traffic, I could, then, conceivably pull off eating both. Or maybe, perhaps, I shouldn’t take the chance”. “Or perhaps I can sandwich bag the hot dog then I can eat it later after the ice cream” These are the negotiations that any red blooded observant Jew has to go through daily. Granted, it’s a challenge but we are committed……aren’t we?
 Baker Bob was one of the finest bakers in the Catskills. Not knowingly, one individual arrived at an event where Baker Bob’s desserts were on display; however, he had a meat for lunch. Anybody who knows anything about baking knows that the best deserts and chocolates are made with butter and milk. It’s very hard to resist Baker Bob’s cakes and pastries. After a half an hour the individual too succumbed to the cakes, even though the time allowed to eat dairy did not arrive, rationalizing, “although my ancestry custom is to wait six hours, I will adopt the German Jews custom of waiting three hours”. As time passed on, he began to be more lax eating dairy right after meat justifying his actions even more, saying “it’s not so bad…at least I’m not eating the two together”. This is a frequent problem among many, where one thing leads to another and the individual degenerates. We have to explore why this is so? Where and how did he develop his brazen authority to feel he’s capable to make such decisions? Our people like to exercise, often, the ability to “rationalize”. It’s what we do best. The Jewish cup (brains) is one of the finest in the business; we are not robots; we are known to be thinking machines. Does this precious Jew have the power of decision making? What tends to happen is him saying, “perhaps I’m not so careful about keeping milk and meat laws but I’m careful in other areas; nobody’s perfect”.
Let’s explore the ability to rationalize and how we can use it to our benefit. One has to realize that at times it can backfire and we can get in trouble. The first time we learn of someone rationalizing was the first woman, Eve.
“And she saw that the tree was good”(2:6 Bereshit) It seems like Eve rationalized the tree was good to eat, even though she was told otherwise.
In the second of this week’s parshiot, Bechokotai, G-d threatens us (26:14) “if you do not listen to Me and do not do all of these commandments”…then……Hey! There are very un-pleasant curses written as a result of not keeping them. One has to ask why G-d is so rigid. So I don’t observe all, however, I keep most.
 Furthermore, when do we exercise our famous gift of brainpower? It seems like the Torah is limiting our “say power” by demanding that we observe all the commandments or else.
In a few weeks we will celebrate the receiving of the Torah. If one examines the whole courtship of us, the Jews, receiving the Torah there is one important expression that we, our ancestors uttered that elevated and separated us above the other nations. When approached by G-d, we answered “NA’ASEH V’NISHMA”-“we will DO, then we will hear”. It was a tremendous act of faith on our part, it was what HE wanted to hear, where then G-d rewarded us with His Torah. We did not say “what is in it”? It was for the very reason why we uttered the words “NA’ASEH V’NISHMA” we were chosen. However, by picking and choosing what commandments to keep and how to keep it, we are violating that breach of trust which G-d put so much faith in us to be labeled the “chosen ones.” We are violating the statement that made us famous.
By picking and choosing what commandments we feel have to be observed, we are creating our own mandate. It’s not G-d’s Torah, it seems like it’s the individual’s own contraption. Is it our morality or is it G-d’s morality? Is it our laws of Shabbat we are observing or is it G-ds. If it is G-d’s, then we have to abide by his rules.
Many are mistaken to think that if it’s not logical, if it doesn’t make sense, then one is not obligated to perform it. This mindset goes against the main principle of “NA’ASEH VENISHMA” which got us on the map!! This is what made us an attractive commodity in G-d’s eyes.
A story is told of a college student who made a commitment to start keeping Shabbat. Exited, he had a Shabbat meal by an observant family nearby his dorm room. He got an unpleasant surprise, after the meal, as he entered his dorm room. His roommate, who had left town for the weekend, forgot to close the lights which were glaring bright throughout the entire room. G-d doesn’t waste any time in testing people. His first Shabbat was a painful and tiring experience; however, he mentioned it made him stronger. Besides the commitment he had to G-d and His commandments, he learned to be disciplined. This is an incident that- if successfully passed – separates the men from the boys.
An interesting question arises so when and how can we rationalize our actions? When can we use a little “brain power”?
 Let’s return to the first woman, Eve. She saw it was good, rationalizing, to eat from the tree. The problem at hand, it was without authority. We have to ask what argument the snake presented to enhance the tree’s attractiveness persuading Eve to go against her husband, Adam’s command. The snake said “if you eat from the tree you will have tremendous knowledge like G-d”. Acquiring G-d’s knowledge had such an appeal that Eve would circumvent and jeopardized not only her residency in Gan Eden, but her entire existence?!!
What, then, is G-d’s knowledge that is so appealing? The Torah. The Zohar says that the Torah was created first and the world follows the Torah’s cue. When we pray to G-d, we are talking to HIM. When we learn his Torah, HE is talking to us. One, who learns, adjusts his thinking to the Torah. That is tremendous!! He becomes, not only closer to G-d, but speaking through HIM. He, who learns, becomes a changed man, a superior man! However, the learning of G-d’s work must be consistent; a regular connection is required. One of the main questions they will ask after one departs this world “did you learn Torah daily”.
However, when one stops learning the Torah on a consistent basis, he, then, does not grow with G-d and therefore, locks in to what makes sense to himself, therefore, stumping his growth. He makes up his own self style following his internal compass. He develops an arrogant attitude of “whatever feels right is right”. He rationalizes that it’s okay to eat milk soon after meat.
If one wants assurance that the curses above will not take effect, he has to have complete faith that all the commandments are important to keep. To be able to succeed in the mitzvot that G-d designed, one has to make time to learn His masterpiece, the Torah, and apply it to everyday life.
Sometimes we forget the meaning of a world without Torah. A world without Torah is just a matter of the thickness of the veneer. It is literally a situation of “each man is prepared to swallow up his fellow man” [Pirkei Avos 3:2]. The line between a human being and a wild animal – without the guiding moral force of Torah – is indeed very thin.
On Shavuot, which we are anticipating in a few weeks, we read the story of Ruth and Orpah. Ruth and Orpah were sisters, daughters of Eglon King of Moab. They were from royalty. They had to choose between going back to a strange land with a woman, Niomi, who was an old widow without a possession in the world or returning to their father’s palace. Who really made the rational decision?
Rabbi Frand learns out that if we look at the situation with a cold calculating eye, Orpah clearly was the one who made the logical decision. Ruth made an irrational decision. Why follow Naomi? It does not add up. Ruth realized the difference between a life with Torah and a life without Torah. When the dilemma was put into those stark terms, Ruth had a relatively easy decision. Life without Torah is not worth living. This is the essence of Shavuot. Its not a coincidence that we learn that Ruth grandson, King David danced uncontrollably with tremendous happiness and vigor in front of the Torah. How can a king not have his controlled demeanor? That behavior might not be fitting for a king; or perhaps it does!! King David was ecstatic because he knew, like his Grandmother, how Torah can transform man to a much elevated status. He knew that it is the true “brain power” where it is permissible to rationalize, as long as its studied daily. He knew having faith in G-d, proclaiming NA’ASEH V’NISHMA and doing all of G-d’s commandments is the ticket to a better life.
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Is it the “crowd” that infuses energy at a wedding?
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s,Yonnasan Zweig, Yisschar Frand, Berel Wein Dr. Abba Goldman
The crowd makes a difference
How significant is it to fit in, to be part of the crowd, to be in the inner circle. Do the readers remember a memorable article I wrote, a number of years ago, titled “men without country “where some of us feel they don’t belong anywhere? Many of us might argue we don’t need to be part of any particular group, especially where Americans cherish, and rightfully so, a degree of independence. The 1970’s embodied the “me” generation. Mind you, it was the “me” generation and not “us”.
In this week’s parshiot we discover something puzzling to many of us who don’t belong.
“…He shall dwell in isolation; his dwelling shall be outside the camp” (13:46)
The Torah teaches us that the Metzorah (“one being diseased,” with certain skin afflictions, collectively called tzara’at, that cause spiritual uncleanliness in the afflicted person.) must remain in isolation, away from human contact. The Talmud explains that a Metzora is guilty of anti-social behavior and therefore he is separated from society.
Nevertheless, there is an exception; Rashi tells us that a Kohen should not proclaim a newlywed a Metzora during his seven days of festivities, when a Jewish couple marries the first seven days. “The seven blessings” also known as birkot nissuin (Hebrew: ברכות נישואין), “the wedding blessings” in Jewish law are blessings that are recited for a bride and her groom as part of nissuin. In Jewish marriages there are two stages – betrothal (erusin) and establishing the full marriage (nissuin). These blessings are also recited as part of the week-long festivities celebrating the wedding; in most communities these festive meals occur during the week after the wedding- sheva brachot.
Why would we allow a newlywed to begin a relationship with his wife before he is cured from a behavior that will surely hamper this relationship?
In order to answer the question, one has to understand the significance of sheva brachot and for that matter – marriage.
In order to complete the bond between Man and Wife, there is a two-step process, Erusin and Nissuin.
It’s pretty obvious that Erusin comes from the same shoresh-root as ארשת שפתיו, which means speech or words; so, Erusin means “to give your word, to agree or to pledge to marry”. The agreement is made binding through the kinyan, and the woman becomes prohibited to all other men, but the essence is the promise. The word is identical with the English ‘Troth,’ which means ‘to promise or to pledge’. Erusin=betrothal. What does Nissuin mean?
It means “to become burdened,” from רחיים בצווארו, a millstone around the neck, an idiomatic expression used in the Gemara to refer to the responsibilities of marriage. There are other definitions of the word Nissuin. Marriage is a gift (מַשְׂאַת) from the Chatan to the Kalah, and from the Kalah to the Chatan, and from G-d to both of them; Marriage is an opportunity to elevate (כִּי תִשָּׂא) yoursel
So it seems marriage is a big responsibility and one who takes it upon himself to take the great big plunge, to suffer the full sting of the burden, which society is privileged and benefits since another family has been created, we are saying to him we are behind you!!!
Anti-social behavior is exhibited by a person who is unhappy with himself. When a person’s unhappiness stems from the feeling that he is unappreciated by society, he becomes depressed, and this can often lead to anti-social behavior. During the seven days of celebration following a wedding, the groom is given the elevated status of a King. The joy he experiences from this special attention serves to suppress any anti-social behavior which he may, under normal circumstances have exhibited. There is even the chance that the jubilance he feels could alter his behavior and transform his personality. By saying we are behind you; we are on your side; by making him feel important – we are giving him a vote of confidence. The sheva brachot meals have to be in the presence of ten men, an amount necessary to perform many of the Torah commandments; seemingly, perhaps the number consists of a significant group worthy of acknowledgement…We give a great big sendoff that he’ll remember for the rest of his life, especially looking back at the wedding and sheva brachot pictures, where he would reminisce at this period with joy and it will be the barometer where he can perform the responsibilities of marriage with confidence and great joy.
Perhaps, most important – he will do repentance with joy – teshuva b’simcha as appose to repentance with anguish – teshuva b’tza’ar. The popular belief is that all sins are forgiven for the bride and groom at their wedding day. So the Chatan begins with a clean slate.
Therefore, the Torah instructs the Kohen not to render a groom unclean during his seven days of celebration, for his predisposition to anti-social behavior poses no threat to the relationship with his wife; on the contrary, he may even be cured at the culmination of the seven days due to the attention he receives.
HOW TO MAKE A CHATAN AND KALLAH HAPPY?
Hence, it’s very important to be active in participation in the joy of the Chatan and Kallah. There are two main categories in this regard: One is to accompany the bride and groom to the wedding canopy (chupa – in Hebrew) prepare for the wedding, and the other is to help them enjoy the wedding as much as possible.
Furthermore, the commandment of ‘being like G-d’ is fulfilled when one helps a bride and groom. Where do we see that G-d participates in people’s weddings? The Rabbis tell us that Adam and Eve participated in the first ever wedding, and the only onlooker was G-d! G-d, so to speak, arranged that Eve’s hair be arranged for the wedding and brought her to Adam. Thus we see that helping people in the process of getting married is a way of emulating G-d.
The mitzva of accompanying the bride and groom to the wedding was traditionally performed by accompanying the bride from her home to the chupa. Nowadays, the mitzva is fulfilled when the men accompany the groom when he covers the veil of the bride.
The mitzva of giving joy to the bride and groom is fulfilled by dancing in front of them and saying pleasant things such as extolling the virtues of the bride to the groom. In Orthodox weddings, the guests show great enthusiasm in their dancing and entertaining of the bride and groom. The emphasis is totally on giving them joy, as opposed to enjoying oneself. The Rabbis speak harshly of people who attend weddings and eat the food served there, but do not try to please the bride and groom. In contrast they speak very favorably of people who do give the bride and groom joy!
People experiencing a happy occasion truly appreciate when others share in their joy. Thus, giving joy to bride and groom is a great kindness; it shows them that we really feel their joy.
We see the importance of a group bringing joy to a friend, a Chatan/Kallah. The comradery is at its highest level! There is a story that illustrates this point well. It’s the story of Choni Hamehagel. Choni fell asleep, and slept for seventy years. When he woke up he saw a man gathering carobs from the tree. “Are you the man who planted this tree?” he (Choni) asked.
“I am his grandson.” “I must have slept for seventy years,” said Choni to himself. He saw that his donkey had given birth to a whole herd of donkeys. Choni went to his house. “Is Choni’s son here?” he asked. “His son is no longer alive, but his grandson is here,” they replied to him. “I am Choni Hamehagel” he told them. They did not believe him.
He went to the Beit Midrash (study hall) and he heard the Rabbis say, “Things are so clear today, like in the days of Choni Hamehagel, that every question that the Rabbis had, he knew the answer to it.”
“I am he,” said Choni. The Rabbis did not believe him and they did not respect him even though his knowledge of Torah was great. He said if I don’t have a companion in expressing myself, it’s not worth to live.
He was weakened and he asked G-d to have mercy on him, and he died.
There are many questions on this Gemara, however, let’s focus on Choni’s mental wellbeing throughout the whole episode.
There are many questions on this Gemara, however, let’s focus on Choni’s mental wellbeing throughout the whole episode.
Choni was transported to the future. He was not recognized but he was remembered, fondly, as a historical figure. Everybody immediately recognized the name Choni and revered it. However, they did not connect nor believe that the man in front of them was in fact Choni. This happened both in his home and in the study hall.
We see from here that Choni had a past (people knew his name) and he had a future (he had grandchildren and his name lived on in his scholarly teachings), however – he had no present! He could not connect; he could not adapt to the present in which he was placed.
No person should live in isolation, and belonging to and contributing to a community – synagogues, charitable organizations, study groups, etc. – becomes our clothing, so to speak – the external persona that we project. The great Choni Hamehagel of Second Temple times said it well: “if there is no community, then there is only death.”
Dealing with life and death
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s,Yisschar Frand, Baruch Dopelt, Aharon Tendler Dr. Abba Goldman
Sassoon children
In this week’s parsha we read about the sudden tragic and untimely death of Aharon’s two sons Nadav and Avihu, the air apparent to Moshe and Aharon, the leaders of Israel. There have been many reasons given of why they died, however, perhaps it might be interesting to explore and possibly learn a lesson on to reconcile with passing of a loved one or prepare for our departure after a hundred and twenty years.
Most people are afraid of death and dying, and almost none of them ask themselves, “Why?” “Why are we afraid of death and dying?” It seems that something that must happen to everyone should have gained a degree of acceptance that mitigates the fear. Yet, we are afraid.
Some will explain that the fear of death is the fear of pain. Granted, that is true for those who unfortunately die in pain; however, there are many who peacefully pass away in their sleep, seemingly in painless journey to the next stage of their existence. Yet, we are afraid.
There are those who will explain the fear of death as the fear of the unknown. In general we fear change and we fear the untried or untested; yet, there are many who thrive on adventure and exploration, and it seems that the after-life is the greatest adventure possible. This adventure is ingrained in us as a result of being exposed to popular science fiction storylines involve exploring “to boldly go where no man has gone before”, the afterlife.
Others will explain the fear of death as the fear of not living. Life is filled with opportunities for accomplishment and love. Who wouldn’t wish to be present at their grandchild or hopefully great-grandchild’s wedding and beyond? Who wouldn’t wish the added time to learn one more page of Talmud, do one more Chessed (kindness), hear one more symphony or nigun (tune), read one more classic, or admire one more majestic display of G-d’s natural grandeur?
Perhaps, one is afraid of dying because he missed an opportunity. Being sensitive enough to grasp the subtle message that G-d is trying to convey throughout our lifetime might not be so easy. Perhaps, that’s our task in this world. So it seems like before we continue with dealing with death one must know how to live!!!
The Talmud relates a story of Rebbi Eliezer ben Dordia who was a womanizer to say the least. He was under the impression that every woman was permissible to him. One of his conquests made a chance remark one time, with a snickering expression, alluding to the fact that his actions in his lifetime will never enable any repentance to be accepted and he’ll never see the gates in heaven. In one’s lifetime there are few, very few times, where words pierce the heart. Her words had such a powerful effect on him that he sat down on a mountain and cried until he died. A heavenly voice proclaimed, “R Eliezer did repentance and has entered the World to Come”.
What is mind boggling is what the Talmud conveys next. The Talmud continues describing how Rebbi cried after hearing the story. Everybody in the study hall wondered why was he crying? He should have been joyous towards R’ Eliezer. R’ Eliezer ben Dordia had raised himself from the degrading cesspool in life, to a place in heaven in an instant, wow!! R’ Eliezer ben Dordia was able to capitalize on the feeling in which he was so overwhelmed by the words of his companion in sin.
So why was Rebbi crying when he heard the story of R’ Eliezer? Rebbi didn’t cry for R’ Eliezer’s sake, but rather for all of humanity. Each one of us experiences a moment of awakening that is capable of impacting one’s entire life. Yet only one in a thousand, in fact, utilizes the moment. Most of us miss a chance; that is the very reason why we were put on this earth. This is why Rebbi cried.
Perhaps, this is what we should be afraid of when our time is up. There will be nothing more embarrassing than to face the Creator and be seen one’s potential that was not taken.
In order to better understand the concept of death one should be aware of an interesting topic in our Torah. “Tell the Israelites to procure for you a red heifer that is free from every blemish and defect and on which no yoke has ever been laid…” (Bamidbar. 19:2ff).
One of the biblical conditions for the rebuilding of the Third Temple in Jerusalem may have perhaps been met recently when a red heifer was discovered in the United States.
In January 2014 a red heifer, or Parah Adumah, was born to a cow herding family in an undisclosed location in the US, who wish to see the animal used for the purity service during the preparations for the rebuilding of the Third Temple.
The family has reportedly not marred or maimed the animal in any way, nor will they be using the animal for work or feeding it any growth hormones. All this to comply with Jewish law of keeping the animal as nature created it. It should be under strict watch until it reaches 3 years old.
The red heifer is a cow whose coat has no more than one single hair of any color other than red, and whose skin, hoofs, and eyelids are all also reddish. The Red Heifer is an extremely rare creature. The uniqueness of the red heifer, aside from its irregularity in nature – there has not been a red heifer born in Israel in over 2,000 years.
Strict rules also apply to its color. Two single hairs of a color other than red automatically disqualify it from becoming a Red Heifer. A Red Heifer candidate that was discovered in 2000 was disqualified after two black hairs were found on it.
Likewise, a cow that meets all other criteria, but is older than four is disqualified. The present calf has a long way until, if at all, it will become a real Red Heifer.
The discovery of a red calf that could potentially become a Red Heifer-Parah Adumah excites many Jews who believe that Moshe prepared the first Red Heifer and Mashiach will prepare the last one.
Parah Adumah is the classic example of a Torah law which seems to have –at least for us — no rationale. When a person comes into contact with a dead body he becomes ‘tameh’, “spiritually impure”, and the only way for him to regain his state of purity is to be sprinkled with the water which was mixed with the ashes of the Parah Adumah, the Red Heifer, which make him ‘tahor’ -“spiritually clean” once again. The topic of the red cow is very confusing: although it can purify the impure, the people who are involved in the process of preparing and administering the ashes of the Red Heifer become impure. Therefore, it remains the quintessential ‘chok’ – “a law without an apparent reason”.
Or Hachaim Hakadosh says, that Parah Adumah is the mainspring of performing commandments without rationale and therefore its labeled “the Chok of the Torah” [Bamidbar 19:2] . This Commandment embodies the very essence of Torah. Why? Because Torah –no matter how much we delve into its laws and no matter how much we try to understand it — ultimately presents a religion which one must practice even though he does not understand the why and the wherefore. The basis of accepting Torah is “We will do and we will listen” [Shmot 24:7]. One has to be prepared to accept even without fully understanding. That is why the verse emphasizes “This is the Chok of the Torah”. This law personifies Torah. This law teaches what Torah is all about: we must do it even if we don’t understand.
Our next question is: why is this particular law used to teach us this principle?
Forbidden mixtures (sha’tnez) are a chok; Milk and Meat is a chok; there are dozens of ‘chukim.’ Yet this is THE law that represents the fulfillment of Torah even when we do not understand. Why Parah Adumah?Rabbi Yissachar Frand saw an interesting interpretation in the Shemen HaTov. Our Sages tell us that this world received a terrible punishment called ‘Death’ as a result of the incident with the Tree of Knowledge. Up until Adam and Chava ate from that tree, there was not supposed to be anything in this world called ‘Death’. Once they violated the prohibition to consume the fruit of that tree, Death descended into the world.
What was the key behind the sin of the Tree of Knowledge? It was so that “You may be like Elokim — knowing Good and Evil” [Bereishis 3:5]. The motivating factor behind that original sin was because people wanted to know ‘Why’. The snake fueled Chava’s curiosity.
Man does not want to be a robot. He has curiosity. He has a desire (ta’avah) to know ‘Why’. That passion led to the sin of the Tree of Knowledge. As a result of that we received an appropriate punishment — death. How does one deal with death? When one has confronted death, he needs to subsequently confront the Parah Adumah, the Red Heifer. The Parah Adumah represents our inability to know why.
That is why this is the appropriate punishment for the sin of the Tree of Knowledge. Man’s burning desire to know why – led him to death, and death makes man deal with the Parah Adumah, which teaches him that he cannot always know why. That is what life does about — sometimes not know why. That is why specifically this mitzvah represents the essence of what Torah is about: doing, even without necessarily knowing why we are doing.
At times of personal tragedy it is common for the individual to question G-d’s foresight. We feel that pain and loss justify the challenges and excuse the occasional lack of civility. Certainly, we cannot judge those who challenge G-d or society when it is due to personal loss or pain. However, even pain requires a perspective. The story of Nadav and Avihu provides the perspective.
In the aftermath of their deaths, the verse states, “Vayidome Aharon – and Aharon was silent.” What does Vayidome mean? It means acceptance. Aharon’s silence did not indicate a lack of emotion or feeling. It revealed the profundity of his personal devotion and sense of responsibility. As the Kohain Gadol he did not have the luxury of venting his pain. At the time of his inauguration, at the time of the lighting of the Mizbeach, he would not voice feelings that challenged G-d and served his own emotional needs. Instead he was silent.
Aharon was not the only one who was silent. Elazar and Isamar, the brothers of Nadav and Avihu, were also silent. They too had suffered a terrible personal tragedy and they too remained silent. Moshe was their uncle and teacher. He too had suffered a terrible personal loss. He too contained his feelings and remained silent.
In 11:2 Rashi writes, “At that moment, G-d’s directive to teach the Bnai Yisroel the laws of the Kosher and the non-Kosher animals, fish, and fowl was directed to all of them (Moshe, Aharon, Elazar, and Isamar) equally. Why? Because they were all equal in their silence and they had all accepted G-d’s decree with love.” G-d rewarded the family of Aharon with the opportunity of teaching the Bnai Yisroel the laws of Kashrut. Why was this their just reward for their silence in the face of personal tragedy?
Kashrut is one of classic “Chukim – statutes.” Although the Torah tells us that the laws of Kashrut are intended to “Make us holy – to set us apart from the other nations – to be Kadosh – nevertheless, it does not reveal why each individual item was permitted or forbidden. Why beef but not ham? Why Gefilta fish but not lobster quiche? Yet, Kashrus, more so than any other category of Mitzvot, dominates the religious life style of the Jew.
As with all the Mitzvot, personal preference does no enter into the equation.
Kashrus is all the time. At home, the office, on airlines, in the Far East, and Queens Blvd. Kashrut is the standard of the observant Jew.
Just as the Kohain must serve the nation and not himself, so too, must the Jew be identified by the standards of our nation and not his personal cravings.
Because Aharon, Elazar, and Isamar set aside their personal pain and grief and accepted G-d’s devastating decree in silence and love, they merited joining Moshe in teaching the laws of Kashrut.
There is no doubt that a loved one’s passing will always be missed. When my father passed away, Rabbi Yitzchak Aminoff, who had lost his father when he was a teenager, said to me that he still feels a certain pain even now and he’s a great grandfather.
Sitting shiva for my father, in Israel, where many of my relatives reside almost twelve years ago, I will never forget an incident. I dosed off briefly and I saw a tall bald man approach me. He bent over and touched my hand; it was very comforting as I quickly awakened. I looked around and no one was in the vicinity except my mother and uncle, who had also dosed off, sitting shiva next to me. The moment was a mystery till recently when I realized that as a child I always envisioned G-d as Bald. I kind of sensed that I knew, back then that it was who it is but I was in denial. If one tells you that he had contact with G-d then I equate him with the individual in the fifth avenue station who constantly brags he has conversation with G-d. Regardless if it was HE or just a desperate subconscious leap for comfort, I was in tremendous pain, considering how close I was with my father.
Many have said to me “death is part of life”. We brought this punishment upon ourselves. But, now we see there is an added punishment that pertains to “tree of knowledge” devastation and that is “why” will never be answered until the future days where all our questions will have an explanation and G-d will lift the terrible sanctions and we will, not only, be death free, but also reunite with our deceased loved ones…..Amen.
Simply Thank You
Simply Thank You
We can learn a very interesting deep meaning of thank you from the seder night. There are different levels of appreciation. Ever wonder why prayer of Hallel is smack in the middle of the seder?
Lets examine one of our important prayers which is recited a number times daily. For all blessings in the Shmoneh Esrei we can have an agent. For ‘Heal Us’, for ‘Bless Us with a Good Year’, and so forth we can have a messenger — the Shliach Tzibbur-Chazzan can say the blessing for us. However, there is one thing that no else one can say for us. We must say it for ourselves. That one thing is “Thank You”. Hoda’ah has to come from ourselves. No one can be our agent to say ‘Thank You’.
“Todah” (thanks) comes from the word “Hoda’ah”, meaning giving thanks. However, the word “Hoda’ah” also means to admit (as in the expression Hoda’as ba’al din k’meah edim dami).
Rabbi Yissachar Frand says that it is no coincidence that the word for thanking and the word for admitting are one and the same. In order for a person to give thanks, he has to be able to admit that he needed help. The first step in being grateful to someone for doing something for you is the admission that you needed help and that you are not all powerful. Therefore the Hebrew word for thanks and for admission are the same.
How do we know whether the word “Hoda’ah” means admission or thanks? Rabbi Yissachar Frand says that we need to look at the preposition that comes after the word. The word “Hoda’ah” — meaning admission — is always followed by the Hebrew preposition ‘”sheh…” (that). The word “Hoda’ah” — meaning thanks — is always followed by the Hebrew word “al …” (for).
In davening [prayers] we have a Blessing of Modim, called the Blessing of “Hoda’ah”. How does it read? “Modim anachnu lach sheh…” This indicates, that the first thing we have to do is not thank G-d, but admit to G-d that we are dependent on Him. Once we come to that understanding, then we can come to the end of the blessing where we say “Nodeh lecha… …al…” — We thank You for… Birkas HaHoda’ah is thus a two-stage blessing. It is a Hoda’ah of admission at the beginning which climaxes with a Hoda’ah of thanking at the end.
When the words of thanks finish, though, and we want to appreciate more, our thanks automatically is elevated to song. Singing is the language of the heart. For this reason we instill Hallel smack in the middle of the Seder. Hallel is a lofty level of appreciation and is often sung on holidays. When it comes to singing, if its sincere from the heart, the two definitions of hoda’ah is automatically combined.
We thank G-d for freedom; we thank him for taking us out of Egypt and making us his ambassadors. Living in a country that advocates freedom we sometimes take it for granted that we are free. Sometimes we have to appreciate that which we have. The seder night is tailored for us to say thank you in a special way
Question: Why do we hide the second piece of Matzah that we break? If the goal of our breaking the Matzah was merely to pique the curiosity of the children etc., wouldn’t breaking the Matzah and leaving both pieces untouched on the table until later be enough of a diversion from our normal course to accomplish the same goal?
Answer: The Vilna Gaon (a.k.a. the G”ra), gives a reason why we hide the piece of Matzo that will be used for the Afikoman and remove it from the table until after the meal. He says that the reason is very similar to the one given for why we cover the Challah when we say Kiddush, that being to prevent the “embarasment” of the Challah which is being passed over in favor of the wine. {Normally, bread is considered the most distinguished food, and the blessing on it comes before anything else. On Shabbat, we need to make Kiddush over wine before we begin the meal. Therefore, we cover the Challah bread, so it will not be “ashamed” that a blessing is being made on another food before it.} Similarly, when we later make the Brachot on different pieces of Matzah, we cover and remove the Afikoman from the table, to prevent it from embarrassment as it is being looked over, as it is not eaten until after the meal.
A very important hidden message in the seder
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s,Yisschar Frand, Yehuda Prero, Berel Wein, Yossi bilus,
Many of us wait, in anticipation all year round to sit at the Seder table. The once a year fancy silverware and china, the prop games for the children are all part and parcel of an action pact, amazing evening. Interestingly, one of the first things we do when we participate at the Seder is proclaim our freedom (Ha lachmah anya). In a poignant moment each individual, dressed in their formal attire, holds the 3 matzos (the middle broken,The piece that remains on the Seder Plate is the “poor man’s bread” over which the tale of our slavery is said. Poor people only eat a small part of their bread — they need to save the rest in case tomorrow there is none. ) placed in a white special made covering with the letters of matzos embroidered on it, and recites, as it is passed around the table, a declaration. “This year we are here, next year (May we be) in the Land of Israel. This year we are slaves, next year (May we be) free!” The proclamation, by each person attending, if one is made aware of the important meaning of the words, enables them to “feel” being free. A special gift given by G-d! It also forces the individuals attending to be a part of the evening Seder. It’s funny, some have a phobia to speak in front of large gatherings, shy away and reluctantly refuse the invitation to say the Ha-lachma’anya. The slightly more bold ones recite the proclamation with a trembling low voice. However, some seem to cherish the spotlight and are unwilling to let go of the matzos so quickly. One sees all the personalities emerge in a night where everyone is scripted into the evening program.
The Seder, though, is never perfect like the ideal Pesach Seder. What is a proper Pesach? THE Seder should include the Pesach and Festival offerings. But “this year” it is not that way.
If we examine the Haggadah more closely, we discover that the Seder also ends with this same theme. “L’shana haba b’Yerushalayim – Next year in Jerusalem.” The reason why our Pesach Seder will not include a Pesach offering this year is because the Beis HaMikdash [Temple] was destroyed. Our Sages teach us that the Second Temple was destroyed because of ‘Baseless Hatred’ (Sinat Chinam). We are taught that the Bet HaMikdash will not be rebuilt until we somehow correct the defect of baseless hatred toward each other. If that is the case, why are we not prompted somewhere during the Pesach Seder to address this sin? If the Seder in fact includes the request that next year we should be in the Land of Israel and in Jerusalem, why are we not told exactly how to take corrective action to make that happen? We should be explicitly taught to remedy our behavior of Baseless Hatred at the Seder!!
Rabbi Yissachar Frand quotes the Ben Ish Chai (Yosef Chaim (1 September 1835 – 30 August 1909) authority on Jewish law and master kabalist) states that indeed there is such a notion in the Hagaddah. He says that this is alluded to by the question which we (for the most part, children) recite at the MA NISHTANA- “Why is it that on all other nights we do not even dip once, and on this night we dip twice?” The Ben Ish Chai suggests that the first dipping on the night of the Seder-KARPAS (into the salt water) reminds us of the first place that “dipping” is mentioned in Jewish History: “And they dipped (Yosef’s) coat into blood” [Bereshis 37:31]. This is the prototype of the sin of Baseless Hatred, which has plagued us throughout the generations and started the spiral down leading to slavery. The second dipping at the Seder (into the Charoset) corresponds to a second dipping that we find mentioned in the Chumash: “And you shall take the bundle of hyssop and dip it into the blood” [Shmot 12:22]. Hyssop is an herb in the mint family with cleansing, medicinal, and flavoring properties, was prolific in the Middle East and was used in a variety of ways. This pasuk [verse] refers to the dipping into the blood of the Pesach offering. That dipping was the first step of painting the door posts and lintels of their homes with the sign of blood — in order to save them from the Plague of the First Born on the night of their deliverance from Egypt. It is no coincidence, says the Ben Ish Chai, that the Torah uses the language of Agudah [bundle (of hyssop)] regarding the second dipping. The word Agudah comes from the root word Igud, which means Unity. Thus, the dipping of unity, which took place at the end of the Jewish Nation’s stay in Egypt, was a remedy for the dipping of Baseless Hatred, which had triggered their descent into Egypt. Perhaps, for this reason, it is why the Sephardic and Central Asian custom is to have the second dipping in the sweet Charoset. This concept symbolizes that we too will emerge from our current exile — which was also triggered by Baseless Hatred — with unity and harmony amongst ourselves.
“French police officers stand guard outside the Hyper Cacher kosher supermarket near Porte de Vincennes”
Anti-Semitism is real!!! It existed then and it exists now. The make-up, attitudes, outlooks of our entire family changed because the Anti-Semitic Bolsheviks threw my grandfather out of a moving train for the one and only reason that he was Jewish. Every family has to deal with their share of this particular grief. Rabbi Frand mentions that Rav Elchanan Wasserman (1874 – July 6, 1941) was a prominent rabbi and rosh yeshiva in pre-World War II Europe. He was one of the Chofetz Chaim‘s closest disciples and a noted Torah scholar) expressed amazement that of all the slanders that the anti-Semites have used against the Jews over the centuries, one of the most recurrent lies has been the ‘Blood Libel’. This is a claim that is not only patently false, but that makes absolutely no sense as well.
The last thing a Jew would ever eat is blood. The Torah has numerous prohibitions distancing a Jew from blood or anything that is mixed with blood. How could it be that we have always been accused of this specific charge?
Rav Elchanan Wasserman suggests that this is a Divine punishment that corresponds to the sin of “they dipped (Yosef’s) coat into blood”. When the brothers dipped Yosef’s coat into blood, that act did something to the system of Heavenly Justice which caused Jews in future generations to be susceptible to the slanderous libel that as if we bake our Matzahs with the blood of Gentile children, G-d forbid.
Unfortunately, Pesach has many reminders of Baseless Hatred. Rav Mattisyahu Solomon points out the irony that the Blood Libel always emerged before Pesach. (The libel claimed that as if the Matzahs were baked with blood; as if the 4 cups of wine actually contained blood, G-d forbid, etc.) Why specifically Pesach? Why did they not say that we dip our Lulavim (palm branches, used on Sukkot) in blood?
The answer is because Pesach is the Festival of Redemption. It is the holiday of “In Nissan they were redeemed and in Nissan they are destined to be redeemed” [Rosh Hashanna 11a]. As long as we have not rectified the original sin that led to the slavery — Yosef’s brothers – Baseless Hatred, which caused them to dip his coat in blood, the blood libel rears its ugly head around the time of Pesach.
THE FOUR SONS AND UNITY
The Haggadah speaks about the famed “Four Sons:” The Wise son, the Evil Son, the Simple Son, and the Son who does not know how to ask. The dialogue of the evil son is particularly interesting. The Haggadah Says: “The Rashah (The wicked son) – What does he say? ‘Of what purpose is this service to you?’ To you (he said), (implying) and not to himself. Because he took himself out of the community, he has denied the basic principles. Therefore, you should strike his teeth and tell him ‘Because of this, G-d did this for me during my departure from Egypt.’ For me, and not for him. And if he was there, he would not have been redeemed. “
Why is the evil son so bad? Why his comments are considered “heretical?” Furthermore, what is the unusual response of striking his teeth supposed to accomplish? In order to get a fuller appreciation of this dialogue, it is necessary to understand the true meaning of the conversation. Therefore, a little background information is needed.
Interestingly, the Seder rides on the shadow of the episode of Yosef and his brothers. Our forefather, Yaakov, was the father of the 12 Tribes of Israel. We find in the Torah that Yosef, Yaakov’s favorite son, was not liked by his brothers. Yosef had dreams about how he would be in an elevated position over his brothers, which he related to his brothers. These revelations combined with other factors that our Sages discuss caused a large rift between Yosef and his brothers. Yaakov was not oblivious to this rift. Indeed, he knew that Yosef distanced himself and was distanced from his brothers, and he attempted to ameliorate the situation.
We find in Bereshit (37:11-14) that the brothers were tending to their father’s flocks in the city of Shechem. Yaakov sent Yosef to check on his brothers. The language that Yaakov used to request this of Yosef is odd. He told Yosef “To check on the peace of your brothers and the peace of the sheep.” Why did Yaakov give this lengthy order, when he could have simply stated “Check on the peace of your brothers and the sheep?” Why a separate sentence for each?
The answer is that Yaakov was telling something more to Yosef than to just check on his brothers’ well being. There are two types of “peace.” There is a type of peace which is merely an absence of war. People do not necessarily get along, nor care for each other. However, as long as one does not bother the other, all is well. This is contrasted to a vastly different type of peace. It is a true peace, where people care for each other. People more than just co-exist with each other: They live together as a community, a collective whole, where all are concerned for each other’s benefit, and where cooperation is the norm, not an exception, not a burden. Sheep are a perfect example of the former type of peace. One sheep does not necessarily care for the others in the flock. As long as any specific sheep gets its food to eat, it will not bother any other sheep. Sheep co-exist with each other. The brothers of Yosef, on the other hand, demonstrated the latter type of peace. They lived together in a unit, caring for each other’s needs, concerned for each other’s welfare. The brothers lived in a harmonious unit, a unit which typified the peace we long for.
Yosef, by acting in the ways he did, was distancing himself from his brothers. His relationship with his siblings was like that between sheep: as long as Yosef did not bother his brothers, they did not bother him, and vice versa. Yaakov knew that it was of utmost importance that this needed a change. Yosef had to realize that he had to make himself a part of the whole. He could not be content with his status as an individual, separate from his brothers. He had to realize how important unity was, and act on this realization. In order to point out to Yosef that his behavior was not as it should be; Yaakov told Yosef “Go, and look at the peace of the sheep. See how they act towards each other. That is how you are acting towards your brothers, and it is wrong! How should you act? Go see the peace of your brothers! They are truly a unified group, where care for each other is of utmost concern. That is how your relationship should be with your brothers!”
The first night of Pesach always falls on the same day of the week as the night of the following Tisha B’Av. 5 months from now we will commemorate another Tisha B’Av (hopefully not, may Moshiach come before than and it would be a happy holiday instead), it is because we did not properly learn the lesson of Pesach. We forget the lesson of the “two dippings”. We can only remedy the sin of Baseless Hatred, symbolized by the dipping in salt water, through the unity symbolized by the bundle of hyssop.
There are many reminders of the connection between Destruction and Redemption. The way that we can emerge from the Destruction that we are experiencing, and merit the Redemption that we so desperately need, is by once and for all remedying “dipping (Yosef’s coat) into blood” by creating its antidote of “dipping with the bundle of hyssop – through one common bundle of unity.”
Why slaves, chomets, kitniyot?
Why slaves, chomets, kitniyot? 
OF ALL THE PUNISHMENTS, WHY DID G-D CHOOSE FOR US TO BE SLAVES? WHY?
This Dvar Torah was taken from a conversation I had with Rabbi Illan Feder of Yeshivat Chafetz Chaim.
We Jews come from royalty. Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov, our forefathers, were not only well respected members of society, they were also materialistically wealthy. Avraham was tall and charismatic. Yitzchak was looked upon as quiet but very spiritual, as he had been the one chosen to be the sacrifice. Yaacov had the twelve tribes. Our forefathers were blessed with good Mazal, and whatever they touched turned to gold. This was the result of their wholehearted belief in G-d.
So it’s puzzling how their descendants would be tortured, humiliated, and victims of genocide as a result of being taken as SLAVES!!
How did that happen? Why slaves? Why that particular punishment? What happened to the royalty that our forefathers enjoyed?
It seems like us children were so remotely distant from the lifestyle of our forefathers.
We allude in the Hagadda to the descent of our ancestors to Egypt. Yaacov and his sons, the twelve tribes, packed their bags and headed towards Egypt because that’s where Yosef resided. Yosef, who was sold by his jealous brothers many years before, was now second in command of a superpower country. It was because of Yosef’s advice that Egypt became the “caretaker” of the world. He promised to take care of his brothers during the famine years.
One of the prime directives of our Torah is to make us master and refine our natural character traits. An angry or jealous person, or whatever other bad traits one has, has no place in G-d’s world. One has to work on himself to eradicate bad traits and thereby better himself.
The brother’s jealousy of Yosef was a trait that bothered G-d tremendously. For this reason, they were punished by being converted into slaves. Slaves have no say, no opinion. They don’t own anything so no one slave can be jealous of the other. They are all equal. This is the kind of mindset G-d wanted his chosen people to have. “We are equal!!”. There is not one Jew who’s better than the other, and one cannot be jealous of his fellow.
The Seder is set up so that the first half, until the meal, discusses the slavery period. During this time, there was no jealousy among the Jews. The second part of the seder, after the meal, discusses the redemption. It’s a period of tremendous spirituality, closeness to G-d, and a unity among Jewish brethren that also contains no jealousy.
G-d is teaching us the importance of unity, of caring for one another. It was a painful and costly lesson- one that absolutely had to be conveyed.
picture found by Boaz Davidoff
CHOMETZ
CHAMETZ- AN INTRODUCTION
What is chametz?
To begin, let’s introduce SEOR- leaven, which is an ingredient used in making bread which creates the pores one sees in bread loaves. Leavening agents spread throughout the dough by releasing gases that causes the entire batch of dough to rise.
A leavened product is called CHAMETZ. The Torah describes SEOR as being a lump of old dough which was left to reach a high level of fermentation called yeast. When a peace of yeast is kneaded together with a mixture of flour and water, it accelerates the rising process and creates chametz. Today’s yeast is SEOR. So is chametz the same as SEOR? Well, Chametz is edible, while seor is not.
The Torah declares that no chametz shall be eaten for a full seven days starting from the 15th of Nissan through the 22nd of Nissan (Shemot 12:15-18, 34:18)
Enough of biology, what is the Torah’s perspective about chametz?
Chametz, we believe, is considered an evil force. Its task is to manipulate the purer element. Similar to the lump of leaven in the batch of dough. Chametz is the evil in us. The bad traits including pride, desire, lust etc. are chametz. Therefore, we eradicate it, every speck and crumb, from our midst during the eight days of Pesach
The prohibition of chametz is not limited to the holiday Pesach. It was also banned from the meal offering -the Mincha
IF CHAMETZ IS SO BAD, WHY DON’T WE BAN IT ALL YEAR?
It seems like we have tremendous respect for bread, especially on Shabbat. We even cover the bread so we shouldn’t hurt its feelings, since the kiddush on the wine is recited first. Some have the custom that if they see bread on the street, they turn it over if it’s upside-down and move it gently to the side. If bread was so evil why do we give it such respect?
We have to be aware of a few points in order to understand the answer. Firstly, the power of the Seder night is such that, without much effort, we can accelerate to the 49th level of kedusha. Once achieved, we have the ability to request from G-d whatever we desire. The high spirituality, although diminishes over the Yom Tov, is still powerful throughout the eight days. Secondly, it’s funny how things are. Against our will we are brought down to this world. (Some say that this is why the baby cries at the brit; he doesn’t want to be in this world. Similarly, when a person dies, the relatives cry, however the soul, is happy).
Why in actuality doesn’t the soul want to come down to this world? Simple. It is because he has to co-exist with the lowly body. Therefore, his spirituality is limited.
So we are presented with a quandrary, we don’t want any physical motivations, but still we are told that “chametz” -our bad traits, are not always prohibited? To resolve this. we must realize that indeed chametz has a time and place as well. In order for humans to function, one needs both the spiritual and the physical. Humans cannot function without the chametz, our evil side. Therefore, G-d said refrain from chametz for seven days and that will be sufficient for the whole year. These are the seven days from 15 Nissan to 22 Nissan when G-d displays a special kindness towards us.
It is no coincidence that this auspicious time occurred when we were first redeemed and led out of our bondage. Hashem specifically granted us this time when we needed it the most to draw close to Him and ask for whatever our heart desires.
So we see that although, yes, “chametz is inherently bad and must be eradicated, we unfortunately are faced with the reality that we cannot survive without it. Therefor chametz is only prohibited for one one week period throughout the year, for the duration, we need the chametz.
Interestingly, the only sacrifice that has chametz is the one offered on Shevuot, when we celebrate receiving the Torah. We are not concerned by the intrusion of the chametz as the tremendous infusion of Torah deems the chametz insignificant and will not influence us.
Kitniyot?
One of the items that are controversial on Passover is whether kitniyot is permissible. Let’s mention some fundamental concepts before explaining what kitniyot are. The Torah forbids us to eat chametz (leaven) on Pesach. Something becomes chametz when flour and water mix together long enough for the dough to rise. The sages explicitly state and rule that chametz can be produced only from certain grains: wheat, barley, rye, spelt, and oats. The Rabbis imposed a stringency on kitniyot as a prevention to violating the Torah law of chametz. Kitniyot are also cooked in a manner similar to the way the grains are cooked and that could be confusing. In addition, in many locales, kitniyot are made into bread and people who are not well versed in Torah law might get confused.Another concern is that kitniyot are mixed with grains that have the ability to become chametz. For example, spelt is often mixed with rice. That is why in many communities our mothers and grandmothers clean rice before Pesach. Much has been written about which items are included in the minhag (custom) of kitniyot. Four issues are usually explored. Is the item defined as kitniyot (legumes, such as beans, lentils, rice, soy, kidney beans, lima beans, peas, corn), or at least similar to kitniyot? Can the item be ground into flour in the same manner as grain? Does the item grow near a field of grain? Various communities have different customs and define what is and is not allowed. Some customs allow eating kitniyot; some just allow rice, and some none at all. My family custom permits rice with the exception of the first Seder night. There is no generality except what the Talmud explicitly states what is chametz which we mentioned above. Therefore, when going to a kosher supermarket for Pesach shopping, look at labels and ingredients to be in accordance with you family traditions.
The most important advice is to follow one’s rich traditions and customs, as long as they don’t violate any Jewish law. Minhag avot (the custom of our fathers) is the leading indicator to proceed in various functions of every day Jewish life. It is vital to consult with a Rabbi who is well versed in Torah and is also familiar with your family traditions.
Pesach power of speech-the Jewish voice
Rabbi’s Ilan Feder, Dr Abba Goldman and Rabbi Akiva Tatz all helped in consructing this article
Malcolm Hoenlein, Executive Vice Chairman, of the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations and Rabbi and Dr. Akiva Tatz inspirational speaker
HAKOL KOL YAACOV- The voice is the voice of Yaacov (our forefather) The voice is what defines our essence as a nation and also our individuality. Speech is our power. Perhaps this is the reason the holiday is called PEH-SACH-the mouth that tells. Most important theme of the seder night is just that; it is to discuss the experience with this most powerful tool we have, our mouth.
We read in the Haggadah V’YASEM L’GOY GADOL- I will make you into a large nation. We know us Jews were never a threatening number in any time in our history. The commentaries expound on the words METZEYUANIM SHAM-they stood out like a large nation. How did the Israelites stand out?
There were four distinct traits which stood out in our ancestors when they were slaves in Egypt. 1) They didn’t change their mother tongue 2) They didn’t intermarry 3) They didn’t change their names; Schwartz, Borochoff and Hakimi were still prominent. Lastly they did not speak bad about their fellow comrade. (No Lashon Harah). This is what defined them as the Israelites. This is what the Egyptians and the world looked at and said ” Hey, their different then us!!”.
There is question many ask. We can understand the first three that are on the list. In essence, it makes sense. The Egyptians dressed in jeans and a t-shirt while the Jews wore the black hat and the tzitzit; that’s a clear distinction. The same goes with different language and last names. However how does not speaking bad about their fellow Jew stand out? It really doesn’t seem one can make a distinction about one not speaking bad about someone or not. What did the Egyptians notice that made them feel different? There are two examples given that have to be presented for us to shed some light and see what defined a Jew in Egypt.
Growing up in TV America one is aware of the many detective shows that have been spawned over the years. So in a sense we can relate to the Orchat Tzadikim example of a chacham and a friend walking by a certain street where a crime took place and there was a corpse lying with a bullet hole in his head and his mouth wide open. The chacham asked the friend “What did you notice about the victim”?. The friend replied back “The bloody spot in the dead person’s temple”. The Chacham then said “You failed to make a positive observation; the deceased had nice teeth”.
Let’s give another example and then perhaps we’ll be able to understand what the Egyptians saw in us in the last defining category. Rabbi Faider of the Chaffetz Chaim Yeshiva high school wanted to test his student’s observational skills. One day each student received a color picture of a tree in a garden. On the tree was a paper bag. He then asked the students what they noticed about the picture. Almost all said the paper bag. Only a few mentioned the beautiful garden.
Granted by not speaking bad about a person one refrains from negativity. The flip side of not speaking bad is that it makes a person look positive. That positive energy is more pronounced as one furthers himself more and more from being negative and critical about people. This is what the Egyptians noticed that was different. The Jews were very positive. Speech is powerful and it can be lethal. It can be used to build empires in this world leading to rewards for eternity. One can also build with speech an evil empire and destroy himself and others that cross his path. For this reason the tongue has two coverings, the teeth and cheeks. This is to protect it from being too spontaneous and to hopefully cause us to be more thoughtful before we speak.
Why is the seder night so powerful?
On the seder night one can basically ask and receive a favorable response more so than on any night. The reason is G-d had mercy on the Jews that night even though we didn’t deserve it. It says USHMA TZA’AKATAM-he heard our screams and he had mercy.
Speech is a gift given to humans that thereby differentiates them from other species. It connects the heavens (spiritual) to earth (physical). In essence this is how we communicate with G-d. Anyone who understands the laws of prayer is aware that without verbalization our prayers are not as potent. Speech connects the world of thought to world of action. We then have to ask a basic question – If speech is essential for prayer to reach the eavens, how then did G-d just,hear our screams and respond? Didn’t we say verbalization is required? We see how clever Pharoah and the Egyptians were. They worked the poor Jews to exhaustion till they couldn’t think and express themselves. This was done by design. They knew the power of the Jew is through his mouth and they planned to stifle that weapon.
Now we see what a merciful night the seder is. Even without the speech, without the bridge between heaven and earth, G-d still listened and released us from bondage. However, today is our chance to correct, or perhaps one should say, fill the void, of not having speech that night. On the seder night we use our speech as a vehicle that transcends our prayers, our love, our commitment to G-d. We use the seder as a platform to accomplish the power of speech. The fifth step of the haggadah “Maggid-to tell over” so we can V’HEGADEDA L’BINCHA-tell our children. We arouse our children’s curiosity and encourage them to ask questions. Any child would automatically ask question after they recite the MA NISHTANA. How many fathers have come to me and asked me “What do I answer my son when he recites the 4 questions? This night is a night where everything is open for disscussion. Apparently the section following the MAH NISHTANA is the response by the patriach of the family, answering the child.
Even the Matzah hints and arouses conversations. One definition of MATZA SHONIMBO means matzah that is answered to. The Haggadah gives strict instructions “if one does not utter these three words PESACH, MATZAH, MARROR, he does not fulfill the commandment of eating at the seder. That’s a pretty powerful statement. If you’re into the gift of gab, the seder is the place to be.
Some things one can not say in words
Sometimes its very hard to describe an experience. We, many times, say “I guess you just had to be there”.As a matter of fact, the chassidim, on their special occasions, would sing a tune for about 20 minutes and it would be so deep, profound and meaningful; funny thing is it had no words. In the concluding games of the 1986 Baseball World Series (game 6, the Mets won in game 7) Vince Scully, the announcer, did something unusual but smart. After the climatic hit, he did not say a word. For 10 minutes we saw images of celebration. He then came back on the air and said “words can not describe what you just saw”.
Rabbi Simcha Siesal waited 25 years to share a profound Torah idea. He was concerned if he would have spoke about it to soon he would lose it. A thought enters our inner being and becomes part of you. If one, however speaks to soon he will risk losing the true meaning of the thought. So we see speech has its limits, its finite.
When I think of the power of speech that many of our brethren possess, I think of the late 70’s and early 80’s solidarity rallies in midtown Manhattan for Soviet Jewry. It was quite impressive hearing some of those eloquent and fire and brimstone speakers using their freedom of speech and screaming “let my people go”. Ironically, I didn’t think of it then, but I ended up marrying a nice girl from the Soviet Union. This was freedom of speech at its best.At Madison Square Garden many years ago, where the Siyum Hashas -the celebration of finishing a 7 year cycle in the Talmud- was it was quite impressive hearing some of our Torah giants address and inspire the audience. An orator can give a lasting and impactful impression.
A few profound statements in history that come to mInd as I’m pressured to finish this article:
“My father bit you like a snake, I’m going to bite you like a scorpion” – King Rechavam making a negative impression as the new king of Israel
“Ask not what the country can do for you but what you can do for this country” – President John F. Kennedy
” Give me Liberty or give me death” is a quotation attributed to Patrick Henry from a speech he made to the Virginia Convention in 1775 which made a strong impact on Americans
The pain that the Jews experienced in Egypt was indescribable and could not be put in words. Although words, speech is an easier way of communicating with G-d, a good scream now and then can go a long way. Perhaps the Egyptians underestimated that capability. Or perhaps G-d loves the Jewish nation so much that every so often on a good day or night he shows his love owever we express ourselves. Well guess what – one of those good nights happens to be the seder night. Let’s communicate talk, scream, ask questions, make statements, cry, laugh, sing, bless and enjoy the freedom of expression, the freedom and gift of speech as long as it’s expressed in a positive way….then we’ll be positive.