Tag Archive for Abraham

Parents communicating with children: The Jewish way

November 1, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt, Asher Hurtzberg , Yossi Bilius and Dr. Abba Goldman


Why did G-d love Avraham so much?
 Since the beginning of time man would travel to many places. Upon ones journey one inevitably is forced to acquaint himself with other passengers who are from different walks of life. The subway of New York City is the best example. Often one sees someone he knows even the slightest and he will begin to schmooze. That’s nice isn’t it; perhaps one can say there is a very pro-human side to travel.
  On one occasion two important figures in the world, although with different philosophies on life, the great Torah sage, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky and the Secretary-General of the Israeli Trade Federation, Histadrut, happened to be sitting next to each other, on an El Al flight; both were in first class… While conversing on the flight with the great Rabbi he was impressed with the caring service the Rabbi’s, presumably, personal staff was giving him. Through the course of the flight they would come and make sure his pillow was set correctly or they would ask him how his meal was and if he needed anything. The Secretary General commented to the elderly Rabbi “that’s some dedicated staff you have working for you”. The Rabbi answered back “you’re mistaken they’re not my staff; they’re my son and granddaughter”.   He was amazed at the dedication of the son and granddaughter had given to the elderly Rabbi. As related in the book, Reb Yaakov: His Life, pp.218-219: “He confided sadly to Reb Yaakov that he almost never saw his grandchildren and his children only rarely. Rav Yaakov explained to him that the difference in their relationships to their children and grandchildren could be traced to their differing views of Creation … ‘You … believe in the Darwinian view of life as the result of random, purposeless events,’ he told [him], ‘so as far as your descendants are concerned you’re just one generation closer to the apes than your children are. That make the younger generation more intelligent and sophisticated than the previous. The children are less monkeys then us. The philosophy is that they’re smarter then you. We, on the other hand, do not believe that we are superior to our ancestors. Quite the contrary. For us the central event in history was the Revelation at Sinai. The generations immediately after that Revelation lived in awe of their parents as people to whom G-d actually spoke. And their children in turn viewed them with veneration for having known those who heard G-d speak. And so it is with each passing generation. Every generation looks at the previous as great and with the utmost respect. My children and grandchildren honor me as one who had contact with spiritual giants whose greatness is almost beyond their comprehension, and therefore they attribute to me a wisdom and spiritual sensitivity that they do not possess.”
This is the second week we read about our forefather Avraham, the grand-daddy of them all. One may say an extraordinary human being to say the least. The Torah says that G-d loved Avraham.

Why did G-d love Avraham more than anyone?
Was it because:
*The Medrash describes Avraham as a charismatic towering popular figure that had a certain magnetism to attract many to his home where he did kindness. “Kindness is what the world is built on” and it’s G-d type of language.
 One may ask how Avraham received his prophecy. Prophecy is learned studying G-d work; one has to place tremendous thought and concentration with meditation. How was it possible that Avraham achieved that level where he spoke to G-d, he always was entertaining guests? His hospitality was second to none. Where did he have the time?
Since kindness is the fundamental building block of the world one can achieve prophecy and closeness to G-d equating it to the time spending learning G-d’ work.
* Avraham’s analytical highly intelligent mind was crucial in his ability to come to the understanding himself that there can only be monotheistic concept. This was unheard of. The mindset of just having one G-d irked many people and went against societies pangenetic beliefs. The new wave philosophy of our forefather placed Avraham’s life in danger. Let’s just say he was the lone ranger who had guts for he stood up for what he believed in and not succumbing to the pressures of society. The term Hebrews was conceived from Avraham’s nick name “Ha-Ivry”which cenotes “ev’er”-the other side of the river.  The world was hinting then that we, the world are on one side and you, Avraham are on the other. I’m sure this sounds familiar to all who are reading this.
*Avraham was thrown in a burning furnace on behalf of G-d’s honor.
* Avraham was the first to be circumcised following G-d’s instructions.
* Avraham listens to G-d whether it was on command to leave his homeland, to slaughter his beloved son, Yitzchak. One of the ten big tests G-d placed upon him.
*Avraham was… “a big fan of the New York Mets”.
Well reader, there is a smorgasbord of choices….Please, choose, which one of Avraham’s tremendous traits did G-d love?
Which is the one for which G-d said I will make you into a great nation?
Perhaps there’s something else we overlooked.
We read in this week’s parsha:
     [18,19] “For I have loved him for he commands his children and his household after him that they keep the way of G-d.”
Shockingly, it’s not any of those noble famous actions that we have grown accustomed to admire about the great Avraham – our forefather. What G-d loves about Avraham the best, is the fact that he’s able to communicate the message. He’s able to talk the same language as his kids. There is no generation gap. There are no cultural differences. Avraham is the great communicator of all time. His kids listen to him.
There were others in his generation that believed in G-d. However, none of them were able to communicate and deliver the message to the next generation.
Even the notorious evil Eisav, his grandson, adored and listened to Avraham. Avraham had Eisav contained and made tremendous in roads into his development. However, the Midrash states that the day Avraham passed away Eisav was in a state of shock and despair and committed five major averot -sins – including murder and adultery.  We can only imagine what Eisav would have become if G-d gave Avraham a few more years.
This is the gifted trait that Avraham passed down to us the ability to communicate to the next generation. This is what keeps the chain continuing: generation after generation.
One of the most mindboggling extraterrestrial miraculous episodes in our Torah involves the two Keruvim (Keruvim [Cherubs]: angels-resembling young children; relief images of two winged cherubim were part of the cover of the Holy Ark in the Temple). Many commentaries mentioned that it wasn’t two young children as the popular assumptions are of the two Keruvim but one was an image of a man the other was of a child. Interestingly, it resembles a father and son. The reason the Keruvim-the father and son were placed on the cover in the Holies of Holies, the most important place in the world, the heart and soul of the children of Israel, is because this is the lifeblood of the Jewish people; this is the continuity of our nation, it is the father and son relationship, the parent – child relationship, the Rebbi/Morah – student relationship which keeps our people alive. It’s the pulse of our existence. It’s a must to perfect and to nurture the communication. There should be a flow between the one passing down and the one receiving. No clogged arteries please.
However, there is one piece of the puzzle missing. What will make the chain from generation to generation more secure is a an important verse found in Parshat Lech Lecha
[15,2,3,4]
 2. And Abram said, “O Lord God, what will You give me, since I am going childless, and the steward of my household is Eliezer of Damascus?”   ב.וַיֹּ֣אמֶראַבְרָ֗ם אֲדֹנָ֤י יֱהֹוִה֙ מַה־תִּתֶּן־לִ֔י וְאָֽנֹכִ֖י הוֹלֵ֣ךְ עֲרִירִ֑י וּבֶן־מֶ֣שֶׁק בֵּיתִ֔י ה֖וּא דַּמֶּ֥שֶׂק אֱלִיעֶֽזֶר:
3. And Abram said, “Behold, You have given me no seed, and behold, one of my household will inherit me.”   ג.וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אַבְרָ֔ם הֵ֣ן לִ֔י לֹ֥א נָתַ֖תָּה זָ֑רַע וְהִנֵּ֥הבֶן־בֵּיתִ֖י יוֹרֵ֥שׁ אֹתִֽי:
4. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “This one will not inherit you, but the one who will spring from your innards-he will inherit you.”   ד.וְהִנֵּ֨ה דְבַר־יְהֹוָ֤ה אֵלָיו֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר לֹ֥א יִירָֽשְׁךָ֖ זֶ֑ה כִּי־אִם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר יֵצֵ֣א מִמֵּעֶ֔יךָ ה֖וּא יִֽירָשֶֽׁךָ:
These pasukim are crucial to understand in the proper development and relationship between parents and kids, between teacher and student. The commentaries interpret Avraham’s concern that even my trusted servant Eliezer who will transform my words exactly as I said is not the optimal choice. Why not? Why is Eliezer not good enough?  He is transforming the holy words of Avraham just as he said it. You can’t get more perfect than that.
When a servant repeats what one said, he is still a servant; we are not passing down the tradition to a tape recorder. Yitzchak, Avraham’s son who inherited the mantle and passed it down to his son, absorbed the words of his father, however, was able to make his own input, his own emotions, his own intellect, his own strengths along the way. As we learned: Yitzchak had quite a different personality than his Father. He was a “no non-sense” type (Gevurah).  His approach was the antithesis than that of his father’s soft-kindness. The difference was legendary. However, their communication was also legendary. Although he passed it down to his son unchanged: Yitchak’s own flavor was added to it. And so it was for generations after. Each father passed the words of G-d with his KOCHOT-strengths, his personality, his creativity.
Interestingly, each child is different and has to be approached and taught differently. Children are not tape recorders (remember those things) and it will be a tremendous injustice to treat them like the factory assembly line. One will be depriving the child in making his unique input in this world if they’re not approached in a way that is appropriate for them.
                              

INTERESTING NOTE
Does one ever wonder that there are two times in the entire Torah that the parsha starts with the word Toldot. The two are found by Noach-ELEH TOLDOT NOACH and by Yitzchak- ELEH TOLDOT YITZCHAK.  The Torah hints that by Noach the next word after  – ELEH TOLDOT NOACH is NOACH. Noach, who was a tsaddik, however he produced, at best, someone equivalent, nothing more – maybe less, to himself. However, the words after ELEH TOLDOT YITZCHAK  is “the son of Avraham”. The chain was passed to Yitzchak. It follows in the verse AVRAHAM HOLID ET YITZCHAK – Avraham gave birth to Yitzchak creating a new creation. For Yitzchak developed into his own whole person. He loyally followed the tradition; the chain was passed to him. However, Yitzchak was able to create and rise to another level.
 We all want our children, students to be better than us. We want them to reach their potential and exceed our level. To do so: one has to give individual attention to each child.
It says in the morning prayers in the Halelukas which is found in the Pesukey d’zimra section “young men and also young women, old men and young men”. This seems incorrect, it should say “old men and old women” why is it out of sequence?
If one doesn’t have the proper tradition and communication between the elders and the young, one cannot reach the opportunity between man and woman.

Altering Life in the Blink of an Eye
There are times when it seems that all one’s effort is for naught. No matter how much one tries, it just doesn’t go. It’s similar to when one puts their car in neutral and presses the gas. The vehicle doesn’t move. It doesn’t help if one presses on the accelerator with more force. Absolutely nothing helps. This is how many of us feel sometimes. Does this sound familiar?

  Rav Henoch Liebowitz z’l teaches us something very inspirational in this week’s parsha. When the two angels came to Lot’s house revealing that the city and all its inhabitants would be destroyed, Lot informed his household that they would have to leave quickly. However his future son-in-law laughed at him. “How can this city be destroyed? The economy is bustling” the son-in-law said. “The kids are playing in the street and there’s not a cloud in the sky; it doesn’t seem like anything is going to happen”. Boy, was he surprised; he and the entire city were destroyed. Interestingly, even though he ridiculed Lot, the son- in-law was a believer of G-d. So why didn’t he comply? Rav Henoch says, human nature is such that one doesn’t believe change will take place. Everything will remain the same. This is what the son-in-law believed. Perhaps that’s why a person never is able to comprehend that he will die one day. It could happen to my friend but it can never happen to me.

  Just like change took place in a blink of an eye for destructive purposes, so too one can believe that changes can occur in the blink of an eye for the good. One can be single for twenty years and one day he dates a girl and in a couple of months is engaged to be married. The same goes with having children – one may think life follows a script however the captain of the football team doesn’t always get the head cheerleader. Life takes funny bounces and sometimes for the good.

  Rav Henoch is trying to teach us one never knows. In the blink of an eye our prayers can be answered.

Parshat Highlights
the source for quick D’var Torahs
First portion
* We would like to believe we are not the same people we were years ago. Everyone would state, they have matured, been educated and have learned from life’s experiences. This is the general attitude of humans. Well, I hope we have matured and become better people. It’s frustrating to see those that have not.

In this weeks

The impossible dream: Lech Lecha

November 1, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Yissachar frand, Berel Wein, , Yossi Bilius and Dr. Abba Goldman

“Stars”, “Stars”, “Stars” – this is one of the glaring words, part of one of the famous Jewish blessing catch phrases. G-d answered Avraham, when Avraham questions G-d: “What can you give me, I am childless?” G-d answers by promising Avraham that he will have children. G-d directs Avraham outside and asks him to look up and count the stars, saying “Thus will be your descendants” [Bereshit 15:2-5].

Well, may I ask the reader: “What would you do?” It’s a great vote of confidence where G-d assures Avraham that he will have children, however, now he has the dubious task to follow G-d’ command and count stars.

Are you kidding me, there are billions of stars? How long shall I count? Ones might ask themselves. It’s an impossible Dream, To Count the Impossible Count.
Rav Meir Shapiro asks, “What would be our reaction if someone told us to go out and count the stars?”

Our reaction would be to simply ignore the request. We would say, “I know this is an impossible task. I know it is beyond the realm of possibility. Why even bother?”

What did Avraham do? He went out and counted the stars! Yelp that’s exactly what he did. He attempted to do the impossible. He actually went outside and began to count the stars. G-d responded “This is the way your descendants will be” (Koh Yihehye zarecha).

“This attribute that you are showing here now — when it looks impossible, when it looks beyond the reach of human beings, nevertheless to try; nevertheless to give it one’s best — Koh Yiheyeh Zarecha. That is the characteristic of the children of Yisrael. That is what a Jew is going to be like. Even though the task seems strenuous and back breaking, it seems almost impossible, we still must try.”

The least we can do is trying. And when we try, we sometimes see that amazing things can happen. We think that we don’t have such strengths and such abilities to withstand that which life deals us. We think it is beyond our capability. But we try and we are gifted and granted with ‘kochot meyuchadot’ – ‘ special strengths’ that we never dreamt we possessed.

That is the Blessing of “Thus shall be your descendants.” The children of Yisroel has the attribute of looking at something which seems impossible, but nevertheless trying, never giving up… and being rewarded with powers that they never thought they had.
We can see how great the potential of man and how he can beat the odds and reach for the stars from this story presented to me by Rabbi Yossi Bilus.
A survey was taken in rural Baltimore section, on the effect of the lifestyle and achievement of low social working class. Most of the two hundred students surveyed from the high school were from broken families who were confronted by drugs, high crime and gang related issues daily.
The conclusion related by many of the socialist and psychologist, that were leading the study, was that sadly it was very difficult to believe that the majority of the group surveyed would make a positive contribution to society.
Interestingly, twenty years later one of the students of the surveyed grade of the high school, now a professor in psychology in the local university came across the transcripts of the study and was curious as to how are fellow comrades faired in life.
The professor committed himself to take the dubious task to locate and interview the student of twenty years past.
Out of the grade of two hundred, fifteen were no longer in the world, approximately ten he couldn’t track, however, the majority of the one hundred and seventy five, surprisingly, were living productive lives. How was that possible? How were they able to beat the odds? How they were able to make all these socialists and psychologists look terribly wrong?
It seems like a name of one teacher surfaced on many of the interviews. This teacher made an impression on the students.
The professor realized what a priority it was to locate the teacher and ask her miraculous method of teaching.
He located her in a nursing home and made an appointment to see her. Old and frail, however, very conscious and alert, he asked what was your secret in your teaching method that many of your students looked at you so admirably?
The old teacher said: “I implanted in them the understanding that they can succeed, they can do it!! We have to believe in ourselves. Then our dreams can come true.”
We Jews should especially take note of this story for if the gentiles believe in the “impossible dream”, we who are blessed with “Koh Yihehye zarecha” our dreams are on the threshold of reality.

The Torah hints of many examples of this bracha – blessing come to the person.
Yosef built his hopes for the future. He implored the butler/officer of Pharaoh to remember him to the king and set him free.

We can learn a valuable lesson from Yosef – the dreamer who in his chance encounter in prison with the butler/officer, the opportunity to pursue his goal and rise to greatness. Yosef will not squander that opportunity nor will he wallow in despair or go against the fate that has treated him so cruelly. He will not allow events and circumstances to deter him from the realization and actualization of his dreams and visions.

Rather, he will attempt to use and exploit all of those circumstances to make his dreams reality and to achieve the greatness that he believes he is entitled to and has been promised to him.
Yosef eventually became viceroy of Egypt, only second in command to Pharaoh. He became leader of a superpower, reaching for the stars and achieving greatness.

Many immigrants come to the land of opportunity to build their dreams. Many have had financial difficulties and are looking to improve. America is a dream to many.

In addition to the financial strains in their homeland, one couple’s main incentive to come to the land of opportunity is “MESHANEH MAKOM MESHANEH MAZAL-change of place is a change of mazal”, in the area of having children – it was ten years and the couple was still childless. Although it wasn’t easy, especially in the late 1950’s – early 1960’s to leave family behind, however, to have an opportunity to make the impossible dream a reality was a tremendous incentive.

They were advised, after a year in their new place of residence, Boro Park, Brooklyn NY, to see the Lubavatcher Rebbi for a bracha. Perhaps his intervention, his prayer will open the door to childbirth.
At the meeting the Rebbi asked if the couple observed the Shabbat where the response was “Although we come from a long line of Rabbis we’re traditional”. The Rebbi then presented the couple with a proposition: commit to Shabbat right at this very moment, observe it to the letter of the law and I promise you’ll have a baby boy in nine months.
The commitment was made and the wife became pregnant right away. Approximately a month before the baby was born which happened at Motzei Pesach-the end of Pesach, the Rebbi usually throws a party. At the party the Lubavitcher Rebbi sees the man who committed to observing Shabbat and again reiterated you will have a boy next month. The next month the promise came to fruition and they had a baby boy.
I know firsthand the accuracy of this story for I am that baby boy. My parents’ hope and dreams were fulfilled for they never gave up. They traveled half way across the continent, left behind friend’s family and culture to accomplish their burning desire, to have children. Ironically, they brought back after a brief absence from their lives the one ingredient needed for having a child – Shabbat.

Speaking about Shabbat, the introduction to the Friday evening prayer is very powerful. There is a passage that is found in the first few paragraphs which states “Moshe and Aharon were among His priests and Shmuel among those who invoke His Name…” [Tehillim 99:6]. The Talmud states that in righteousness, the prophet Samuel (Shmuel) was on the same level as Moshe and Aharon, the two great leaders of Israel. For this reason, the pasuk in Tehillim equates them. The Medrash states that before Shmuel was born, a Heavenly Voice (Bat Kol) proclaimed, “A child is going to be born who will be on the same level as Moshe and his name is going to be Shmuel.” The Medrash says that all the pregnant women at that time named their sons Shmuel when they gave birth, in the hope that perhaps their son was the baby about whom the Bat Kol spoke.

Rabbi Yissachar Frand learns “You know how a Shmuel was produced? He was produced because there was an environment in which everyone strived to have such greatness for their son that he should grow up to be like Moshe Rabbeinu and Aharon!” If EVERYONE is striving to have a Shmuel haNavi, then in fact ONE Shmuel haNavi can emerge! However, if everyone has pedestrian ambitions for their children then greatness will not emerge from anyone in that generation.

When a woman gives birth, she must believe “I just gave birth to the next Gadol HaDor (great man of the generation)”. If a mother thinks like that, she may indeed be able to achieve greatness for her child. If her goal is “okay, he should be a mediocre child,” greatness will never come.

That is the Blessing of “Thus shall be your descendants.” The children of Yisroel have the attribute of looking at something which seems impossible, but nevertheless trying, never giving up… and being rewarded with powers that they never thought they had.
There was once a very important meeting discussing crucial issues in Judaism held in the house of Rav Avrohom Kamenetsky, son of Rav Yakov. All the head Rabbis were gathered there. When the meeting was over, there was a question of protocol as to who should leave the room first. Rav Yakov’s daughter-in-law, who was in the room, was pregnant at the time. She naturally assumed that the great Rabbis should walk out the door first. Rav Yakov insisted that his pregnant daughter-in-law should walk through the door first. Why? He said, “It is because she is pregnant and maybe she is pregnant with Moshiach!”

Can I give a priestly blessing after killing terrorist?

The Future: Noach’s Arc

November 1, 2015 Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Henoch Leibowitz z’l, Mordechai Aderet, Yossi Bilius, Pinchas Avruch and Mr. Avner Aminov

They’re standing in line in pairs waiting to enter the Arc knowing their future lies with going with Noach. The giraffe, the lion and the chimpanzee, the Arc is the place to be! The animals know it; this is the move to take in order to survive! Yes, it’s animal time, however, we – humans – learn a valuable lesson of life from the secondary being, one has to have foresight; meaning, for every step man must ask himself “What is my action going to result in?” “Where am I going?” This undertaking is a sign of maturity and considered a responsible train of thought.
 
 In this week’s parsha we find the animals playing a glaring role.  King Shlomo knew the language of the animals well, he actually never mentioned if any of the species have a sense of humor. It’s funny that over the course of history man has always learned from animals. Do rabbits really hate ducks-RABBIT SEASON-NO DUCK SEASON–OOH!!  Bugs bunny has smarts making a mockery of those around him, well aside from Hollywood rendition of animals at the helm and manipulating society, the Torah which preceded Loony Tunes and Hanna Barbera, provides the barometer of the wisdom of the animals. It encourages us to examine their qualities…We should exhibit an almost animal-like intensity in our zeal to fulfill G-d’s will. Leopards are not the largest of the big cats, but they have a ferocity found in few of the great hunters. So too, we should serve G-d proudly, almost fiercely, not being embarrassed to be different from others or to stand up for what we believe in!! 
 
Further teaching from the Torah, the lightness of an eagle implies not being earthbound by physical pleasure or human sluggishness. The swiftness of a deer implies the oneness of purpose and quickness of reflex to follow G-d’s will. Also, the strength of a lion implies possessing the resolve and conviction to withstand temptation and to hold firm to commitments and obligations. As far as the cat goes, Rashi, a major 9th-century commentator says we should learn about modesty from the cat, interpreting the cat’s “modesty” as referring to her habit of burying her feces.
 
 Why do we need this lesson from our furry friends? We tend to gravitate towards learning from them. Let’s just leave them alone. After all they’re just animals. 
 
 Interestingly, for those who inquire into the world around them in order to learn how to behave like human beings, and not like animals, the improbability of refined behavior in a bestial habitat will cry out for explanation. The existence of even a tiny minority of animals that act in a non-animal-like way will force the question—Why do they act that way? There is no apparent reason, no prohibition on animals against promiscuity or immodesty or theft. And yet some of these animals possess such traits that can make us humans look bad.  The Sages are telling us that the answer that would have come is that nature does have a lesson to teach us, and it is a single lesson—that just as there are animals which exhibit non-animal behavior, we too, although we are also much like animals in our physical make-up, there is an essential something within us that is superior to the animal. Therefore, we have to exceed those good qualities certain animals possess. If they can do it, we surely can do it too! 
 
  There are two which I would like to focus on that provides such a valuable lesson on life that it’s vital to peak into their world.
 King Shlomo writes if one wants to learn chochma – intelligence – he shall look at the Ant in how she conducts herself, her motives, her actions. 
Let’s explore and discover what we can learn from her. 
First look how she stores her grains. She makes a three story house. The most valuable of her collections she stores in the middle layer. The top is susceptible to inclement weather and the bottom can be vulnerable to dirt. 
Interestingly, the Ant only lives for six months. Yet, she stores food for approximately three hundred years and she does it in the most efficient manner.
 
Why is she so busy accumulating and storing food?
Shlomo HaMelech writes that the Ant reasons, perhaps G-d will grant me longer life so I need to store food, just in case.
However, there has never been a case where the ant lived longer than 6 months. And, even if she did manage to scrape up a month or two more years, at the most, of precious life, the amount which she feverishly collected is incomprehensibly disproportioned.
 
 We see how much hope and tenacity the Ant has, even though there has not been an Ant that has lived longer than six months in history.
 The question is asked on King Shlomo: Why does he advise “If you want to learn chochma – intelligence – you can learn it from the Ant. It should be if one wants to learn zeal, after all, look how fast and meticulously diligent the Aunt is. Why does Shlomo’ emphasis the Ant intelligence? 
 We learn here that zeal and tenacity comes when one who realizes the significance of potential. In order to value that potential, one needs chochma -intelligence, which is based on the sensitivities of the heart.
The Ant works her entire life thinking maybe G-d’s going to grant me longer life, knowing it would be against human nature. However, the Ant believes in miracles. She believes a miracle can take place.
 Even more so, the Jewish nation that believes that we’re building for the next world, for Olam Haba, that is a basic fundamental concept of Judaism. There are much mitzvot, much brownie points to accumulate in a life time… If one says, let me take it easy, I have enough for this world; there is no need to do more mitzvot. He doesn’t have the hope, the belief and the understanding that he’s building for the future.
 We see another example of a chacham that is one who is sensitive about his future. After Pharaoh’s dream was interpreted by Yossef that there will be seven fat and prosperous years then seven lean years, Yosef then used the word chacham when referring to what kind of leader Pharaoh needs to carry out the mission and save the world from hunger.
 
 
However, the hard part is over and done with. The impossible dream was interpreted. Now all what’s left to do is find someone who is a good organizer, someone who has zeal. Gathering the excess grains, storing the food supply, making sure everything is persevered correctly, consists a person who has a gift of being meticulous. A chacham is not needed anymore. Why did Joseph’ emphasis chochma?
 The reason why Chochma is needed is because one has to be sensitive enough to gather all the grain during the fat years and the only way one can execute that task is if one is able to transform himself to the future and imagines that he’s living in the lean years. Then he will be able to collect all the amounts and not miss a grain… It’s quite difficult to gather for lean years when there is abundance.
 
 This is a feeling which comes from the heart which enables us and gives us the ability to transform ourselves to the future. This is not taking away from the concept “let’s live today to the fullest”. However, it’s a little tricky; one has to have the ability to switch gears, change tunes.
 Unfortunately, it’s against our nature to do so.  Short-sightedness is a natural part of the human condition.  We see Avraham making us aware of this when he gathered an army for he was forced to go to war to free his nephew Lot. The Talmud (Nedarim 32b) teaches that they were armed with gold; Tosafot explain that they were armed with wealth so that they would maintain their focus on their lifesaving mission and not be distracted by precious stones and pearls.
 
Implicit in this commentary is the lesson that had they not been given this wealth in advance they would have become distracted by riches and compromised their mission to save Lot. But these were the righteous students of the Patriarch Avraham.
 
Chidushei HaLev explains that in the heat of battle one becomes very focused on the ultimate short term goal – victory – and loses sight of the greater mission, the greater goal – in this case, to save Lot’s life. When caught in the throes of this inherently human short-sightedness, even the righteous can lose sight of their mission. With the ultimate objective out of mind, any and all distractions become possible. Thus, Avraham gave his warriors riches in advance, to preempt the power of this great distraction.
The mouse according to a legendary midrash (midrash- is the body of exegesis of Torah texts along with homiletic stories as taught by Chazal (Rabbinical Jewish sages of the post-Temple era) that provide an intrinsic analysis to passages in the Tanakh) fell victim to this short sightedness.
 There is a midrash composed by Rabbi Mosh HaDarshan. 
 Long before Tom and Jerry and Sylvester the cat. Perhaps, one can say might be the source, the root of the cat and mouse deep hatred toward each other.
 
Both the cat and the mouse were working for Adam who purposely employed many for the sake of unity. A reference to the harmony which Adam wanted to impose is found in the introductory prayer of the Friday evening prayer for Shabbat. LECHU N’RANENA L’HASHEM – let us all sing before G-d. This would bring a tremendous Kiddush Hashem. G-d loves unity and this attempt by Adam would have raised the level of spirituality in the world. 
 However, the mouse had other plans. The selfish and competitive mouse wanted the glory of serving man himself and approached Adam with a complaint that the cat stole from the house of man.
 Adam realized the mouse’s intentions and cursed him, stating “you came speaking evil about someone, which is equivalent to killing someone (the violation of loshon harah) – now the cat will pursue you for the rest of time in order to kill you”.
 
 And so it came to be, the mouse was pursued, caught and killed by the cat. The children of the mouse saw the tragic end of their father and were ever in hiding in different holes in the ground and corners in the walls.
 Years later, as all the animals were lined up paired, male – female waiting on line to enter the Ark build by Noach, the male cat said to the female cat “you see those mice, pointing to the ones on line, when I was little, my father killed a mouse and brought it home for dinner and it was delicious”. The cat then stared at the male mouse licking its paw and started to chase after it. The mouse luckily found a whole where it narrowly escaped the claw of the cat and jumped in.

 The cat stuck its arm in the whole to fetch the mouse where then the mouse bit it, however not before the cat scratched and ripped the lip of the mouse.
 After an hour the mouse went to Noach and said “you’re an Ish Tsaddik – a righteous man, can you please stitch my wound”. Noach answered “go to the cat when he’s sleeping and pull out one of his whiskers, for the whiskers are considered medically very sterile, and I’ll stitch it….And so it was. This is one of the reasons Noach is said to be an Ish Tsaddik.
There are many lessons one can derive from this interesting Midrash. One that pertains to our subject is the mouse was short sighted. The mouse wasn’t able to foresee the importance of Adam’s mission.  His greed ruined the cohesiveness of what Adam had intended and as punishment is pursued by the cat till the Mashiach arrives.
 
There are people who are considered very calculating. That seems to have a negative connotation; however, it’s not necessarily true. I would like to put a positive twist to that statement and say a calculating person is one that looks at the future on every move he or she makes. Although it goes against human nature but it’s a fundamental Jewish concept that is a MUST for our survival.

 

Reason for circumcision

January 22, 2015 Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Pinchas Winston Yossi Bilus and Paysach Krohn


In 2011, a group in San Francisco opposed to male circumcision has collected enough signatures to put the issue to a vote in the November elections; violators would be subject to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine. In Europe, “human rights” groups have mounted a grass roots campaign opposing circumcision, comparing it to the brutal mutilation of African women. The Netherlands Institute of Human Rights wants to outlaw Brit Milah.

Here we go again. It seems like another controversial issue centering on a Jewish topic… Ever wonder why the world always puts us front and center in their discussion?
 Circumcision has been known to offer virtually complete protection from penile cancer. According to a recent review article in the New England Journal of Medicine, none of the over 1,600 persons studied with this cancer had been circumcised in infancy. In the words of researchers Cochen and McCurdy, the incidence of penile cancer in the U.S. is “essentially zero” among circumcised men.
The incidence of penile cancer is essentially zero among circumcised men.
Also, researchers at Johns Hopkins University Medical School in Baltimore have shown that circumcised men are six to eight times less likely to become infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Researchers believe that protection is due to the removal of the foreskin, which contains cells that have HIV receptors which scientists suspect are the primary entry point for the HIV virus. (Reuters, March 25, 2004)
Several studies reported that circumcised boys were between 10-to-39 times less likely to develop urinary tract infections during infancy than uncircumcised boys. In addition, circumcision protects against bacterial, fungal, and parasitic infections and a variety of other conditions related to hygiene. The extremely low rate of cervical cancer in Jewish women (9-to-22 times less than among non-Jewish women) is thought to be related to the practice of circumcision.
As a result of studies like these, a number of prestigious medical organizations have recognized the benefits of circumcision, and the California Medical Association has endorsed circumcision as an “effective public health measure.”
The ceremony of the Brit Milah is one that is very dear to us and it’s been practiced since the time of our forefather Avraham on the eighth day of the child’s birth for four thousand years:
The covenant that is made at the Brit Milah is the joining together of the past, the present and the future of the Jewish people.  Avraham, our forefather, who was the first one to receive a circumcision, represents our glorious past. Those assembled at the Brit, friends, family and distinguished guests, represent the present. Finally, Eliyahu Ha’navi, the messenger of the Redemption, represents the future. So in essence it’s a monumental event of assembling the chain of life through the generation, a wonderful tradition. The first thought one thinks of about the Brit Milah ,  this child  is entering in the congregation of the Jewish people, an allusive club of being labeled chosen!!  He now has an illustrious opportunity of experiencing the adventure of spinning draidels, bagels and lox, bar mitzvah, kiddush clubs and eating a whole matzah at the seder night within seven minutes… Yes, it’s one of many Jewish experiences, along with connecting with ones family on Shabbat and holidays. These are experiences that are etched in our memories for a lifetime.
We learn that the Brit Milah was an essential part of forming the Jewish nation. As a matter of fact, it was one of two conditions that were to be performed in order for us to be taken to the next level and pry ourselves from the depths of bondage.

In this week’s parsha we see that one of the commandments the Jews were not careful about was circumcision. Although, G-d showed mercy and had intention to save his chosen people, however, the Israelites,  were empty of mitzvot.   When the time came for the G-d to fulfill His promise to Avraham Avinu, Israel had no mitzvot to justify their redemption. G-d then gave them the mitzvot of the Brit Milah and the Korban Pesach to perform immediately in order to have something in the bank. These two commandments, if performed, were the ticket out.
  The first: the Passover sacrifice (Hebrew: Korban Pesach קרבן פסח),  is the sacrifice that the Torah mandates to be brought on the eve of Passover. The blood of this sacrifice sprinkled on the door-posts of the Israelites was to be a sign to G-d, when passing through the land to slay the first-born of the Egyptians that night that he should pass by the houses of the Israelites.
  Along with the blood of the korban Pesach, the Israelites were instructed to place on the door post blood from the Milah. Apparently, the Brit and the Pesach are in essence one and the same mitzvah, expressed in two ways. Regarding the paschal lamb we are told that “The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are staying” (12:13). This notion of a “sign” is also found by the mitzva of Brit Milah. “You shall be circumcised through the flesh of your foreskin. This shall be a sign of the covenant between Me and you” (Genesis 17:11).
Blood is the life-force of a human being. For this reason we repeat at a Brit Mila ceremony the phrase “live with your blood”. With these two commandments being fulfilled,  the Jews were saved from the last plague, “the killing of the first born” from death, which devastated their tormentors, the Egyptians.
The ritual and the act of circumcision, although well accepted among the Jewish people, seems, at the very least, very profound. Why is it so important? Why does it involve the private part? Furthermore, “Brit Milah” actually means “the covenant of words”. What does speech have to do with the act of circumcision? And why was it introduced to Avraham?
     Why was his name changed from Avram to Avraham?
  We can find a tremendous amount of answers probing into the first man who was circumcised, Avraham.  He performed the mitzvah of Milah,  at the age of ninety-nine years. For, it was Milah, that’s elevated Avraham to an ultimate level of relationship with His Creator, removing any last spiritual barrier that may have stood between him and G-d:
 When Avram was ninety-nine years old, G-d appeared to Avram and said to him, ‘I am Kel-Shakai- walk before Me and be perfect.’ Bereishit 17:1
 The actual command to circumcise himself comes in the Torah after Avraham fought a successful campaign against the kings of Canaan (to free his nephew Lot who had been taken captive). It was then that G-d approached Avraham and said:
 You shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin, as a sign of the covenant between Me and you. At the age of eight days, you shall circumcise every male child born to you throughout the generations … (Bereishis 17:11-1)
 There are two aspects of the mitzvah referred to in the verse. Firstly, Milah is a sign of the covenant between Avraham and G-d; secondly, Milah is to take place on the eighth day from birth. We should take note of the point in Parshat Lech Lecha at which the Mitzvah is commanded after Avraham’s successful winning of the Canaanite kings and after, what seems to be, an unusual reaction by Avraham.
Once he had successfully subdued the enemy nations, and had restored the previously defeated kings, they gathered to pick up the pieces and to pay homage to Avraham. The king of S’dom offered Avraham:
 “Give me the people, and the possessions take for yourself.” (Bereishis 14:21)
 At face value, the offer of the king of S’dom seems like a nice gesture. However, from Avraham’s reaction (or rather, over-reaction) to it, we understand that the king of S’dom was trying to trick Avraham:
 ‘I have vowed to G-d, the Most High, the Owner of heaven and earth! I will not take even a thread to a shoelace from anything of yours. You will not be able to say, ‘I made Avraham rich.’
 Was Avraham being melodramatic? Would not a polite refusal, “no thank you….maybe some other time” have accomplished the same purpose, without making a scene? Furthermore, if Avraham was so worried about taking money from anyone but G-d, why did he not put up the same resistance when Pharaoh loaded him down with riches? In Egypt, Avraham seemed completely unbothered when Pharaoh showered him with gifts to send him off back to Canaan.  “Just pile the wagon and don’t worry if it’s full; there’s another coming”.
 The difference between the two gifts was not in the giving itself, but the circumstances that led to the giving. In each case, it was a miracle that led to Avraham finding favor in the eyes of his benefactor. However, the nature of the miracle was different. In Egypt, G-d had performed an obvious miracle when he sent the plague to Pharaoh and his entire household. The victory over the Canaanite kings, on the other hand, was a less obvious miracle, since Avraham had to fight the war.
 For Pharaoh, there was no way to view Avraham’s “victory” as being anything other than a miracle of G-d. Avraham did not go to war against him; on the contrary, Avraham waited passively while G-d inflicted Pharaoh and his court with sickness. In essence he was a helpless bystander waiting for his wife to emerge unscathed because of protection from above. Pharaoh desired his wife Sarah. Therefore, any reason Pharaoh might have to give to Avraham could only be viewed as the will of G-d. Pharaoh saw his giving as an obvious fulfillment of G-d’s promise to make Avraham a wealthy man. As such, it was also a tremendous sanctification of G-d’s name.
 However, the king of S’dom could view Avraham’s success in terms of natural forces, since he did fight. Perhaps, he was a good sharp shooter. Perhaps, he was physically stronger than some of those kings. Therefore, any booty Avraham might take would not necessarily appear as a fulfillment of G-d’s promise, and therefore, it could lack the potential to sanctify G-d’s name. This, Avraham could not accept. By emphatically refusing the offer, and by stating why, “it was G-d’s strength, not mine!!!” Avraham sanctified G-d’s name. He also, perhaps unbeknown to him at the time, rose to a whole new spiritual level, for which Bris Milah would be the reward!

WHY AVRAHAM AND WHY THE FORE SKIN?

The first man, Adam,  was created circumcised, as it says, “God created man in His image …” (Bereishis 2:5). Avot d’Rav Nossat 2:5

Rav Yitzchak said, [Adam] caused his foreskin to be extended [and cover his circumcision]. Sanhedrin 38b

 

Adam made a mistake with the growth of the Orlah (foreskin).. For, whether we are talking about “Orlat HaLeiv” (uncircumcised heart), “Orel S’fataim “(uncircumcised lips), or “Orlah” from a tree (fruits of the third year), the word Orlah always implies a spiritual “barrier” between man and G-d which has to be removed.

 

When Adam ate from the tree, he plunged mankind into the world of nature. By depending upon the physical world to develop himself and his relationship to God, he in fact created a barrier between himself and God. He hardened his heart (Orlas HaLeiv), he reduced his G-dly power of speech (Orel S’fataim), he made the tree a barrier (Orlah), and abused his creative potential (symbolized by the Orlah removed by Bris Milah).

 

Avraham was well known for his trait of kindness. The Zohar says the “giving” trait found in cheesed-kindness, if taken to an extreme, would inevitably cause one to succumb to illicit relations. Anyone with that super kindness trait is susceptible. As of matter of fact, Yishmael, Avrahams other son, inherited that trait from his father but was not able to control it.

The Sages say Avraham was shalom (perfect/full/complete.) He perfected all his traits except this one. As one naturally realizes, concentration can be most difficult. By commanding Avraham to perform Brit Milah it now made him perfect. Limitation was set on this organ. There is a certain segula, or spiritual merit, found with the ceremony of brit milan, where one’s understanding of Jewish wisdom is increased. Everytime Avraham looked at his circumcision he would realize the limitation on the trait of chessed. It was not only a sign, a covenant with G-d, but a deterent. This courageous act led to having his one true heir, Yitzchak.

 

When Avraham melodramatically expressed his complete dependence on God for his physical sustenance, he demonstrated his unwavering commitment to live above nature. As a consequence, he was provided with the means to remove all the Orlot Adam’s mistake had brought to mankind. This is the Brit Milah which is performed on the eighth day (eight always symbolizes the spiritual, supernatural realm, as we see through Chanukah as well).

 

The Mystics say by having the brit and its ceremony spiritual energies are infused into the boy. These are the tools necessary to be able to comprehend the Torah in a different realm..There are also thirteen times, in  parsha Lech Lecha where G-d mentions his covenant with Avraham. This is to offset the thirteen attributes of G-d. The Thirteen attributes of G-d is mentioned on Yom Kippur and is a focal point in our quest for forgiveness. It can only be applied if the Jew is circumcised. Rabbi Pesach Krohn teaches us with the infused energy that the boy gets at the brit comes a name. A name defines the task that this boy will do in life. This is the reason Avraham’s name was changed the day he was circumcised.

 

Korban Pesach is a Biblical commandment of the highest order, with the command repeated and amplified to us in three different places: Exodus 12, 3-12, Numbers 9, 1-13 and Deuteronomy 16.

Just as circumcision, the first commandment imposed on an individual Jew, our forefather Abraham brought us into the covenant as individuals, the commandment of Korban Pesach, the first commandment imposed on the Jewish People as a collective–obligating men, women and even children–brings us into the covenant as a People.

The Enforcers

January 11, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Akiva Grunblatt, Jay Shapiro, Yitzchak Aminov and Dr. Robert Goldman. 

A United States Marine was taking some college courses between assignments. He had recently completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

One of the courses was taught by a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in:  he looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.”
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.”
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there silently. The other students were shocked, stunned, and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, “What is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”
The Marine calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me”.

 

This is a case of an enforcer protecting the monotheistic ideal.. Its important that we have in every society law enforcement to protect the rights of the people. Its a must, or else society would not be able to function.  Where would we be without the excessive implementation of traffic tickets and the scant mini-meters. Thank you Mayor Bloomberg.

 

“I never heard of this G-d of the Israelites” Pharaoh proclaimed when his two guest came with a stern message. Pharaoh then said ” I’ll show them who’s boss” after Moshe and his brother Aharon approached him demanding to send the Israelites free. He then  made it harder for the  enslaved Jewish people by not giving them straw to complete their work. Now  the Israelites would have to spread out through the entire land of Egypt  to gather straw. However, the catch was, he said, the  production amount will not be reduced. This placed a tremendous amount of pressure on the Jewish foremen who scrambled to keep production at the same level.
 Unfortunately, there are times in history where we see ones own brethren are threatened into  enforcing certain laws against their own people by an imposing nation for their own agenda. Such is the case in this weeks parsha where Pharaoh, the Egyptian king, created a Jewish police force to implement his plan. If the Jewish slaves fell short of fulfilling their quotas, the Egyptians beat the Jewish foremen. However, the foremen sacrificed themselves to protect their fellow Jews. They absorbed the beatings and refused to retaliate against the overworked Jews. The Jewish foremen/police had mercy on their fellow comrades. (Rashi 5,14)
 Pharaoh decided the best cure for Moshe’s incitement was to make the Israelites work so hard that they would not have any energy to think of rebellion.
As Rashi notes, it was a courageous act on behalf of the Jewish foremen who defended their brethren. These foremen later were rewarded by being appointed ” the seventy elders of Israel”; they judged the people. This was a tremendous honor!!
pride and joy-celebrating finishing the seven year cycle of the Talmud at Met life where over 90,000 participated
The question is asked; we Jews pride ourselves on being an intelligent people. Our Talmud is an incredibly difficult & complex body of work and some of our greatest scholars (among many others)  study it on a daily basis. They even take time off from their busy schedule and form study groups. They find it extremely gratifying and stimulating. As far as intelligence is concerned, its the best in the business.  So if we are the scholarly front runners doesn’t one think the job description for the “Elders of Israel”, judges amongst our people should be more qualified then just ones who showed mercy? Granted it was a very noble gesture and one that deserves great reward. However, “elders” is defined as scholar.  There is no mention in the scriptures and in the Midrash about their intelligence. It seems like they were simple  foremen in Egypt. They were righteous but not “judge” material.
  As a matter of fact G-d didn’t pull the trigger on  expressing his desire for Moshe to be leader until the burning bush incident. The icing on the cake was seeing  Moshe exhibiting curiosity when seeing the burning bush. It showed an interest in knowing; it showed a desire to analyze a situation. So we see there is a degree of intelligence needed for a leadership position.
 We see a fascinating act by G-d. He rewarded the seventy foremen with added intelligence and  uplifted them to one of the highest positions among the nation. They stood by and protected the nation at their lowest point in Egypt and now they will be on top of the totem pole when the nation is  in its glory days. We see the importance of caring for ones fellow; we see an importance in showing mercy for mankind.
 Similarly, on a higher level, we find our forefather Avraham, who housed and entertained  guests constantly.He and his wife Sarah are famous for their acts of kindness toward people. One can ask, when did he have time to intellectually get close to G-d?  We know at a young age, impressively,  he deduced from nature that there is a one G-d . We also know his great grandfather, Shem, had what we call today a Yeshiva. The Sages say Avraham always had the burning desire to connect to G-d. However, there was no time on the schedule for the long weekend retreat. Although we see that Avraham was a highly intelligent he too was granted a gift,  a high level of spirituality. For his kindness towards people and branding ” helping your fellow man” ,G-d came to him personally.
  One can put the enforcer concept in perspective with this story of the Chazzon Ish, one of our contemporary leaders. It was the afternoon before Yom Kippur and someone approached the Chazzon Ish and asked him a question about his parnasa-livelyhood. The Chazzon Ish spent a considerable time with the person.  After a while the fellow asked the Rav ” Rebbi, don’t you need time to prepare for Yom Kippur? Why are you dedicating so much time on my behalf?” . He answered ” I am preparing for Yom Kippur by helping you with your livelihood”.
 Another story involves Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, one of the leading authorities on contemporary halacha of his time in the United States. A few weeks after he passed away one of the Rav’s secretaries  discovered an elderly woman who would call the Rav every Friday afternoon and asked him ” what time does Shabbat starts this week?” Here is a Torah giant who answers thousands of complicated halachic questions weekly yet finds time for this elderly lady to give her the Shabbat start time. The reason is the leaders job is to give to the people: it is to help them in any which way possible. If Rav Moshe satisfies this elderly woman by telling her the times, he has done his job. The leaders  have to be there for the AM-the nation.
Rabbi Dopelt tells a story of the Spliner Rav who would listen to one’s problems and cry and feel with him his pain. A few hours later he is rejoicing  at a wedding making the bride and groom happy to the highest degree. This is the degree of giving that one has to have for a fellow Jew.
 The Elders-enforcers were granted a gift; it was a miracle. One cannot expect to receive a high level of intelligence just from acts of kindness. However, we see  the importance of good character traits in G-d’s eyes. The good character traits are not wasted. G-d finds a place for the person performing good deeds whether the reward goes to him or his children.
 The Elders job is to prevent the nation from excessive hardship. We learn in the Torah if one does a certain sin he is punished with forty lashes. However, the Chachamim-Elders deduce from scripture that a Jew only receives thirty nine. The duty of the Sages is to alleviate  as much difficulty to our brethren as possible. If we can find a way to reduce one smack we have to discover it.
 The halacha-law  goes according to Hillel and not Shamai ,who was the stricter of the two. Although both were Torah greats in every sense of the word, Hillel possessed a bit  more humility and therefore all laws go according to him.
Good character traits alone doesn’t make the complete man. One has to combine it with the Torah. Its with the wisdom of the Torah that one see’s what is in the world and is then able to do act of kindness to the utmost.
 The  Chazzon Ish would map out a diagram and give it to the surgeon and tell him where the problem lies; the same goes with the Lubavitcher Rebbi. How would they know? They never attended medical school.
Kindness has away of coming back to you.
 Devorah was a prophetess and leader of the Jewish people. She became a leader  through an act of kindness. Every year she would contribute through her husband by making special wicks for the Menorah. Devorah realized the light of Torah has to be beautiful and it should be presented in the most honorable way. Her special devotion was recognized by G-d. She became leader of the Jews and lit the light not just of the menorah but also the entire Jewish people
There’s an old expression , ” They don’t care how much you know until they find out how much you care”.

 

Passion

November 23, 2014 G-d and Us, Passion No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s , Yissachar Frand, Lenny Bromberg, Yossi Bilus, Aaron Tendler, David Hochberg, Pinchas Avruch  and
Dr. Abba Goldman, also Mr. Emanuel Aminov
 Har Nof
Passion can be construed in many ways. We saw this past week the ugly side of passion, a passion based on hate, where the evil Arabs MACHSHEMAM butchered our brethren in a Bet Haknesset in Har Nof, Israel. However, it can be very complex, as we will see from  recent current events.
A doctor,  Craig Spencer, in New York City who recently returned from treating Ebola patients in Guinea became the first person in the city to test positive for the virus.
 Dr. Spencer recalled that in his five weeks in West Africa, “I cried as I held children who were not strong enough to survive,” but that he also had celebrated with those who were cured and “invited me into their family as a brother.”
Spencer posted a photo of himself on Facebook wearing protective gear and wrote, “Off to Guinea with Doctors. Please support organizations that are sending support or personnel to West Africa, and help combat one of the worst public health and humanitarian disasters in recent history.”
New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center said in a statement that Spencer “went to an area of medical crisis to help a desperately underserved population. He is a committed and responsible physician who always put his patients first.”
Seventy percent of Ebola cases in West Africa are fatal, but eight of the nine people treated in the United States have recovered. Dr. Bassett said a key reason was the labor-intensive job of managing body fluids and replenishing lost blood, allowing the body’s own defenses to kill the virus.
 However, what tends to happen at times, when one does a passionate good deed, we learn in King Solomon’s  Mishlei; Passion can blind you; it blinds the smartest people. Once you think you’ve scored brownie points, one thinks he has a licence to do whatever he wants.
 Spencer didn’t follow protocol. He lied to the police and told them he didn’t go anywhere when he arrived back. He actually went to few parties. He did not care that he might be carrying the infectious disease.
Passion – strong and barely controllable intense  emotion, compelling enthusiasm or desire for anything.  It’s a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing.
Dr. Craig Spencer had a passion!!  He left his job  as a doctor at New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center, a prestigious job in the medical field, to travel to West Africa and risk his life to treat a deadly virus.
Passion, sometimes even momentary, can change ones life, sometimes in a drastic way. Doctor Goldman, Psychologist at Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim said that President Bill Clinton’s affair with his aid Monica Lewinsky not only had a very negative effect on his legacy, but a rippling damaging reaction on a country. Reports indicate that his cabinet and staff lost faith in his ability to command. As result, they became lethargic in their duties. They felt betrayed defending their leader who then without informing them confessed to the country of his misdeeds. This is all in result of moments of perhaps passion, or perhaps just flimsy moment of desires.
Passion can change a life time of achievements.   Our forefather Yaacov had an evil brother, Eisav, however he had one virtue, one good deed, that he passionately performed most of his life. In fact many Torah Scholars marveled  at his performance  and encourage us to emulate this one mitzvah, which he did. He honored his father to the highest level.  The Torah tells us that Yitzchak loved Eisav. And Eisav loved him back. He respected his father and served him faithfully. The Sages even deem  his act of “honoring parents” greater than that of his brother Yaakov’s. And so Yitzchak requested Eisav to “go out to the field and hunt game for me, then make me delicacies such as I love, and I will eat, so that my soul may bless you before I die” (Genesis 27:3-4). Yitzchak wanted to confer the blessings to him. Eisav won his father’s regard. And even when Esav found out that his brother, Yaakov beat him to the blessings, he did not yell at his father,  “How did you let him do that?!” All he did was “cry out an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said to his father, “Bless me too, Father!” (ibid v.34). Yitzchak finds some remaining blessing to bestow upon his older son, but the grudge does not evaporate. What troubling  is not the anger of defeat or the desire for revenge, rather the way Eisav expressed it. “Now Esau harbored hatred toward Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him; and Esau thought, “May the days of mourning for my father draw near, then I will kill my brother Jacob.” “May the days of mourning for my father draw near” Think about it. How did the love for a father turn into the eager anticipation of his death?

Passions overrule sanity. They even overtake years of love and commitment. When one is enraged, he can turn against his best friend, his closest ally, and even his own parents! Eisav, who spent his first 63 years in undying adulation of his father, changed his focus in a burst of emotion. Now, instead of worrying about his father’s fare, he awaited the day of his farewell. All in anticipation of the revenge he would take on Yaakov.
When passions perverse our priorities, and obsessions skew our vision, friends become foes and alliance becomes defiance. In the quest for paranoiac revenge, everyone is an enemy even your own parents. But mostly your own self.

  Furthermore, Eisav married his uncle Yishmael’s daughter, an act that his parents favored, however, he did not divorce his two wives which his parents greatly disapproved.  Seemingly, his passion for those women were still burning.
  One of the most famous and endearing story line in our Torah is the one when Avraham is commanded to sacrifice his son. At the end, though, G-d withdrew his command to slaughter his son. Sforno  explains “instead of his son: in exchange for that which was in his heart to offer his son, a ram was then brought. Avraham had  to maintain the faithfulness to that which he had previously committed in his heart.” Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler finds this amazing: G-d gave Avraham the command to bring Yitzchak (Isaac) up on the altar as a test, for just as G-d had commanded Avraham to bring him, he was commanded to remove him. There is a strong determination to perform an act of passion and Avraham viewed this act as a spiritual opportunity.  Once one initiates  an act of passion and enthusiasm, it’s very hard to stop.The “commitment” that Avraham made to bring his son as an offering was in error, a colossal misunderstanding. Nevertheless, notes Rabbi Dessler in Sforno’s words, without an alternative vehicle with which to serve G-d, Avraham would have been dishonest to his commitment to serve. Indeed, Rashi explains that the ram was “instead of his son” because Avraham literally requested that G-d view each act – from the slaughter through each subsequent step – as if it was performed in his son’s stead. Rabbi Dessler notes that Avraham was correlating every action to his original intent and commitment. That even though he was absolved by nothing less than a Divine decree, Avraham was concerned with fulfilling his “obligation”.
Why such a burning passion? Because Avraham realized that this was not simply some contractual obligation that was now moot because the contract was revoked. This was the ultimate of Avraham’s Divine trials. But these trials did not test Avraham’s G-d consciousness, they FORGED it. This opportunity was presented to Avraham to allow him to transcend his human condition and offer his entire future to G-d in His service. Avraham very keenly appreciated this unparalleled opportunity and knew he was bound to follow through. And G-d agreed, such that He built this parallel chance into Creation.
 The  Satan, though,  was also rather aware of this unique circumstance, for it was he who entangled  the ram’s horns in the bushes to brake the momentum and defuse the passion of Avraham.
  Passion can be powerful and sometimes has to be curtailed. The book of Devarim, the last of the 5 books of the Torah, is replete with warnings against idolatry, but perhaps the parashah in which the repetitiveness is most obvious is Parashas Va’etchanan. Dozens of pesukim – including nearly one third of the pesukim in the second rendering of the Ten Commandments – contain numerous admonitions not to serve idols.
Nowadays, these warnings seem unnecessary.  Almost no sane humanbeing today has any interest in worshiping a graven image of any sort. In fact, it seems strange to us that anyone ever had such a passion.

Truthfully, our utter disinterest in idol worship is not a credit to our advanced, developed intelligence or our purer faith in G-d. The Anshei Knesses HaGedolah, a group of 120 sages, some of the greatest Torah scholars ever, convened during the era of the second Temple and determined that the inclination to serve idols was too strong for mankind to withstand. The Talmud (Yoma 69b) relates how the Anshei Knesses HaGedolah captured the yetzer hara-evil inclination for idolatry and destroyed it.
We can still have an idea of how strong the inclination for idolatry was before they conquered it. The Talmud tells us that the Anshei Knesses HaGedolah was encouraged by their success in conquering one of the two major passions of mankind, so they decided to turn their sights on the other major passion: the inclination for promiscuity.
When the sages succeeded in capturing the passion for promiscuity, however, they came to the realization that if they destroyed this passion people would no longer procreate, so they released it.
We are all aware of how difficult it is to control the inclination for licentiousness. Our Sages teach us that people once had an equal passion to serve idols.
 So, the Chachamim dissolved a major passion but left us with another. G-d created an extremely powerful attraction and passion between the sexes. It exists and cannot be ignored. The Rabbis explain that G-d did this in order to perpetuate the human race. Without desire and attraction, people would not reproduce and the world would remain desolate. Therefore, He created this intense desire between men and women.
 Here is one scenario where people for the most part are vulnerable, the workforce. One is especially vulnerble when there are bumpy roads in the marriage. For the most part one can say, who doesn’t have bumpy moments in their marriage. Mind you can develop in a crowded office environment but once one is alone with the other, that stuation can accelerate the passion.
You may like her. She may like you. Obviously, both of you have lines that you will not cross when it comes to inappropriate behavior. You have self-respect and know that you will keep to those guidelines. You know that you would not be able to look at yourself in the mirror the next day if you crossed your line, whatever your particular line may be. Now, all of a sudden, you find yourself alone with him or her. You glance at each other. The attraction and desire is there. No one is around and no one will know. Everyone has a vulnerable moment. What will you do? Will you cross your line? How far? How will you feel the next day? What will it feel like, knowing that your line, your boundary that you always said you wouldn’t cross, has just been violated?
Some of you may be say, I am stronger than that and will never cross my line, no matter what. That may be true, but lets ask ourselves something: Which requires greater self-control; controlling yourself when you are never alone together or controlling yourself when you are alone in a room with him or her AND the attraction is there? The Torah is providing you with a boundary that does not require superhuman self-control on your part. It is protecting you from moments of vulnerability, when you may do something you may feel badly about later. Don’t be alone together. Let’s be honest here. It is a lot more difficult to control yourself from acting inappropriately when you are alone together than when you aren’t. Don’t put yourself in the position where you have to rely on greater self-control. Don’t play near the edge of a cliff. True, nothing may happen, but why take the risk? Don’t forget, you have to face yourself in the mirror tomorrow. Make it easy on yourself.
 We learn something valuable from Yaacov, our forefather. Yakov’s blessing to Shimon and Levi as he lay on his deathbed was intended as directive, not just critical. Shimon and Levi had displayed enormous devotion and courage in defending the honor of the family, even if it was misguided. They decieved and destroyed the entire city of Shechem avenging the rape of their sister Dina. Yakov’s “blessing” of Shimon and Levi was intended to direct that same devotion and courage into constructive channels. As the Pasuk says, “Into their conspiracy I will not enter, with their congregation I will not join.” (49:6) Because they did not first seek Yakov’s advice and direction, he would not have anything to do with their actions. However, if Yakov’s teachings and truth would direct their passion and strength, they would be indispensable to the nation’s survival.
 Passion, at times, can be channeled in the right way. One has to realize the power of it. In a moment, one can act on it and regret a life time. Passion, if used right, can elevate one to a lofty level. The key is to be aware of our feeling  as well as anticipate what we will be feeling when we will be faced with life challenges!

Making Limitations is Essential

October 13, 2013 Chessed/ Acts of Kindness, Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
Excerpts from the shiurim of Rabbi’s Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt and Dr. Robert Goldman
also excerpts taken from the book by Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler “Michtav Eliyahu”

          I was invited to a yartzheit dinner the other night and, Baruch Hashem, they had a lot of food. America is beautifull!! However, those days of feasting without thinking are unfortunately behind me. Today there are limitations on what yours truly can eat. Yes, yes. We don’t have to indulge. There is something called will power. We have to be strong and not give in to temptation. WE CAN DO IT!! Nevertheless, even with all the RA RA RA pep talk and the encouraging pat on the back, it felt like a war zone at the yartzheit dinner table. It seems, at times one is walking on the mine field; the chicken dish is mixed with french fries. If one is on a low carb diet, he has to separate the two. Besides the fact that its fried food. BUT WAIT!! HOW CAN YOU EAT THE CHICKEN WITHOUT THE FRIES (CHIPS! KARTOSHKA)?! That’s like separating Abbot and Costello. However, ya gotta do it. But wait, there’s more. There is the sour-salted tomatoes….which is bad for high blood pressure. And when we finally reach the end, at about 10:00 o’clock, the crowning devil-in-disguise, the famous rice-meat-carrot dish, makes an appearence. Nutritionist will tell you ” can’t eat carbs after 8-9:00 o’clock”. It’s terribly tempting for someone who is diabetic. One can only eat fruit. With all those distractions, who can concentrate on the speeches…let alone ask, “did someone die?”. Its apparent, one has to draw the line and set limitations or else he’ll be the star of the next yartzheit dinner.
          In this week’s Torah portion, we read about, arguably, the most famous man that ever lived, Abraham. The Sages describe our forefather as a charismatic, towering figure who was always ready to lend a helping hand. The hospitality he provided was second to none. His Shabbat table was always filled with guests. Although he was a loner in his monotheistic beliefs, he had backbone and was not afraid to share and spread the word of G-d. By the end of his life he had everything – children, wealth and a good name. Smart, intelligent, cynical individuals like ourselves know reward doesn’t come easy….So how did he do it?
          G-d says, in verse 29 chapter 28 in parshat Vayeira, that He loves Abraham. One has to ask what did He love about him? Perhaps His love was the result that Avraham passed all the tests, including the biggy of attempting to sacrifice his son Yitzchak as commanded by G-d. Maybe it was his chessed (kindness) to other people.
          We, as diligent followers of the Torah as well as opportunists, have to be sensitive enough to discover clues in the Torah that will help us in life. In this case when G-d says that He loves Abraham, we have to emulate those deeds that led G-d to proclaim this strong positive feeling. Perhaps He will love us as well and shower us with goodness both in this world and the next, AMEN!! Hey! Let’s spread the wealth. We have to sieze the opportunity!!
         Rashi (one of the major commentaries of the Torah) explaining the verse above, says that Avraham was able to pass down to his children, especially his son and heir-apparent Yitchak, and many of his students, the message of G-d. This is something that Noach was unable to accomplish to the full extent.
        How was Avraham able to spread the word?
        Rashi expands on the word “Veh-Shamru”-if you watch. Avraham was able to master that. He was able to set limits. This was an important virtue in Avraham and an important principle to apply in life.
        Let’s give a number of examples throughout Avrahams life on how he was able to skillfully use this power of setting limits and drawing the line, (AD KAN).
        Avraham had a nephew Lot, who needed guidance. Of course Abraham was there to give a helping hand. Mr. kindness. The helping hand, though, was serviced for many years. In fact, Lot was the third wheel behind Avraham and his wife Sarah. Avraham was faced with a dilemma. Should he break off ties with Lot? Rav dessler indicates that G-d didn’t speak to Avraham until he pried himself away from his nephew. Apparently his association with Lot was the reason for G-d’s disassociation. Lot was preventing Avraham from reaching a higher spiritual level.
          However Abraham had, without a doubt, a tremendous positive influence on Lot as we will see in parshat Vayeira.
          Therefore he was faced with a difficult decision:
1) to keep his association with Lot at the expense of his own growth…. or 2) leave him cold turkey and live up to his potential.
        Avraham made the decision to leave.
CIRCUMCISION-BRIT MILAH.
        Another example is at the end of this weeks parsha which introduces us to the concept of brit milah – circumcision. One may ask why was it introduced to Avraham? Why not introduce it at Mount Sinai, many years later, like all the other commandments? Why wasn’t introduced to his son Yitzchak? We can start fresh when he reached eight days old.
To get a clearer picture of why Avraham was chosen to be the representative of this commandment we have to explore deeper into the trait of kindness, the trait that Avraham embodied. The Zohar says the “giving” trait found in cheesed-kindness, if taken to an extreme, would inevitably cause one to succumb to illicit relations. Anyone with that super kindness trait is susceptible. As of matter of fact, Yishmael, Avrahams other son, inherited that trait from his father but was not able to control it.
The Sages say Avraham was shalom (perfect/full/complete.) He perfected all his traits except this one. As one naturally realizes, concentration can be most difficult. By commanding Avraham to perform Brit Milah it now made him perfect. Limitation was set on this organ. There is a certain segula, or spiritual merit, found with the ceremony of brit milan, where one’s understanding of Jewish wisdom is increased. Everytime Avraham looked at his circumcision he would realize the limitation on the trait of chessed. It was not only a sign, a covenant with G-d, but a deterent. This courageous act led to having his one true heir, Yitzchak.

Parshat Vayeira

September 8, 2013 Chessed/ Acts of Kindness, Hachnasat Orchim- Inviting Guests, Highlights on the Weekly Parsha, Jewish Values, Tzniut- Modesty No comments
First Portion
 

* We would like to believe we are not the same people we were years ago. Everyone would state, they have matured, been educated and have learned from life’s experiences. This is the general attitude of humans. Well, I hope we have matured and become better people. It’s frustrating to see those that have not.

In this weeks parsha our forefather Avraham’s status has been elevated. This is evident by the level of communication between G-d and Avraham. Its clear from the KAVOD that G-d has given Avraham by visiting that Avraham has evolved to a complete and upstanding individual. We learn some very important lessons from this section. First lesson we learn is visiting the sick, which G-d did by approaching Avraham after Avraham followed G-d’s commandment and circumcised himself. The one being afflicted is revitalized by the visit. Secondly, hospitality is of great importance; Avraham in great pain from his circumcision, still managed to accept guest with tremendous enthusiasm.

We see the relationship between G-d and Avraham is now on a higher level because of the circumcision. When G-d revealed himself to the non-Jewish prophet Bilam many years later, Bilam’s immediate reaction, peculiarly, was of great embarrassment for not being circumcised. It seams like there’s a connection between high level of spirituality and circumcision. Rabbi Baruch Dopelt asks why do we say at a brit ” just like he (this boy) has entered a covenant with G-d today so too will he be able to enter the threshold of Torah and mitzvot”? Why don’t we say it when he’s born? After all a Jew is a Jew circumcised or not. The Mystics say by having the brit and its ceremony spiritual energies are infused into the boy. These are the tools necessary to be able to comprehend the Torah in a different realm.There are also thirteen times, in last weeks parsha Lech Lecha where G-d mentions his covenant with Avraham. This is to offset the thirteen attributes of G-d. The Thirteen attributes of G-d is mentioned on Yom Kippur and is a focal point in our quest for forgiveness. It can only be applied if the Jew is circumcised. Rabbi Pesach Krohn teaches us with the infused energy that the boy gets at the brit comes a name. A name defines the task that this boy will do in life. This is the reason Avraham’s name was changed the day he was circumcised.
* “Where is Sarah your wife?” Oh, she’s in the tent”. From here we learn an importance lesson pertaining to women “modesty is a virtue”.
* “How can we have kids my husband is so old” Sarah proclaimed. What about you Sarah, you’re no spring chicken either? Here we see an ongoing occurrence in human nature. It’s the spouse that’s blamed for everything. If only we can appreciate our spouse and realize their good qualities we would have better marriages
* An important lesson is learned about keeping peace between husband and a wife. G-d altered the truth when he approached Avraham about what Sarah said. He asked Avraham; ” why did Sarah laugh and say how can we have kids, I’m so old”. In saying Sarah is old as opposed to what Sarah actually said – “my husband’s old”, Avrahams feelings weren’t hurt and it preserved peace between the couple. One has permission to alter the truth to preserve peace.
Second portion
* What compelled G-d to destroy the city of Sedom and Amora was an incident pertaining to one of Lott’s daughters. She once performed kindness and gave food to an old passer-by. Kindness, it seems, is against the law in Sedom. As punishment they hung her on a tree and spread honey all over her body and watched how she was tortured as the bees bit her to death. Her cries was the last straw that broke the camel’s back and propelled the all mighty to issue a death warrant to the entire city with the exception of Lot and his family.
Third Portion
* Although Lot had tremendous hospitality, a trait he learned from his uncle Avraham, never-the-less the fact that he offered his daughters as compensation not to harm his guest raises some eye brows
Fourth Portion
* Rabbi Moshe Feinstein relates a story when he was a young man about a colleague, who in one of his powerful sermons blamed Lot’s daughter for the despicable and immoral act of sleeping with their father. Add insult to injury one daughter named their offspring after the sin MO-AV, from the father. A while later Rav Moshe was informed that his friend is very ill. Upon visiting his friend, Rav Moshe was performing the commandment of visiting the sick, he sees that his friend’s throat is tremendously infected and can barely speak. ” Rav Moshe” the colleague said ” I know why I’m being punished. I had a dream shortly after one of my sermons. I was lying in bed and see two elderly woman standing besides me. It was Lott’s daughters. With a stern and angry tone of voice they accused me of slandering their name. They claimed they did the act out of complete sincerity and self sacrifice to preserve man-kind, figuring that civilization had been destroyed again. ” Instead of praising us you unfairly turned our deed and intentions into a sin, therefore you will pay with your life with punishment to your vocal cords”. Soon after Rav Moshe’s friend passed away. We learn never Judge anybody unless you’re in their shoes.
* Once again Avraham and Sarah marriage and morals are tested when Sarah was taken forcefully and brought to Avimelech the king of the Pilishtim. Avimelech intended on keeping Sarah for himself despite knowing that she might be Avraham’s wife. Although that information wasn’t clear. It didn’t require a rocket scientist to figure that Avraham and Sarah were more than a brother and sister.
* Because of Avraham and Sarah passing the test of the Avimelech incident (she had the opportunity to be Queen, and acqiure tremendous riches). However she chose loyalty to her husband. G-d said you preserved the test with the reproductive organ so I will reward you with a child through the reproductive organ. G-d rewarded them with their own child.
Fifth Portion
* It seemed Sarah was on a higher level then Avraham. Yishmael, who was Hagar the maid servant’s son (she had him with Avraham), was a bad influence on Yitzchak ( Avraham and Sarah son and the heir apparent to the Jewish nation). She demanded that Avraham send Hagar and her son Yishmael away. Avraham was faced with a difficult decision. What to do? Naturally he turned to G-d who advised him listen to your wife Sarah, ‘She knows”. We learn here the importance of maintaining the right environment for your children and yourself.
Kids tend to be very impressionable so one has to surround them with the right school, nice neighborhood and proper role models at home.
Sixth Portion
*Avraham and Avimelech make a treaty after Yitzchak was born.. As long as the descendants of Avimelech dwell on the land, no descendants of Avraham will wage war against them. This covenant was the reason later why Israel couldn’t capture Eastern part of Jerusalem. Avraham called the western part Yeru- to see G-d (holy place). Shalem, the eastern part was originally inherited by Noach’s son Shem. The name Shalem comes from Shem. In Yehoshua’s time the Philishtim lived in the Shalem, the eastern part. Although Yehoshua, the leader of the Israelites, conquered the western part, in honor of the treaty the Israelites refrained from entering the Eastern part. It wasn’t until the last descendant of Avimelech died after the time of Yehoshua did the children of Judeah took it.
Seventh portion
* The pride and Joy of the Jewish nation, the incident of the AKEDA which is so beloved by G-d. This is the primary weapon we use on Rosh Hashana to ask G-d for mercy and forgiveness
* The narrative prepares us for the next stage of life describing the future wife of Yitzchak, Rivka’s heritage.

Peace & Harmony

September 8, 2013 Jewish Values No comments
abraham's tent

 

In this week’s parsha, we learn a very valuable lesson on how to maintain peace and harmony among married couples. Both G-d and the angels give us a mind- boggling crash course.

 

We find the three angels coming to Abraham with a number of tasks, one of which is to tell Sarah that she will have a baby. The angels made a point of inquiring about Sarah, ‘Where is your wife, Sarah?’ so as to endear her to her husband’ (Bava Metzia 87a). The question that the angels asked, set up a response by Abraham (she’s in the tent) and through those words that he uttered, made him realize the exceptional modesty his wife possessed. Therefore, she would become even dearer to him.

 

We find something interesting in the Gemara in Ketubot in which we see that it is permissible to lie to a groom and tell him ‘your wife is such a beautiful Kallah (bride)’, even though she’s not. But for the sake of endearing the wife in the groom’s eyes, a little white lie is permissible. Commentaries on this Gemarah extend this idea. For example, if one purchases an item, lets say a tie, and you meet him for coffee, even though the tie is not nice, one should lie in order not to make him feel bad; (If there is no refund policy.)

 

Furthermore in the parsha, we find Sarah could not believe the good news of her upcoming pregnancy. But she had an interesting response about her husband, ‘How can we have kids? My master is old’. But G-d misquoted her to Abraham, saying only about her ‘I have aged’ (not mentioning Abraham). G-d lied for the sake of shalom (peace), so that her words should not offend Abraham. This, despite the fact that Abraham was indeed old (he was 99) and would certainly have realized that she had no ill intentions when she had said it. Yet to avoid that tiniest possibility of friction, to refrain from diminishing somewhat the peace and harmony (shalom bayit), G-d altered her words.

 

The master of creating peace and harmony was Aharon (Moshe’s brother). He would fabricate a story and tell Joe, who is fighting with Jack, that Jack has tremendous regret about the disagreement between the two of you and is devastated by losing such a wonderful friend; then he would go to Jack and similarly fabricate a story that Joe feels the same way. This is how he would successfully bring Jack and Joe together. Each one thinks the other is caring and wants to make up.

 

Dr. Goldman, the Psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, once was in the crossroad between a major feud of two individuals. Both claimed the rights to Dr. Goldman’s seat in the study hall. On Shabbat, the good doctor stayed home in Kew Gardens, therefore the seat is vacant. Remembering the famous Medrash (commentary) of Aharon, the good doctor said, ‘let me try it’. He proceeded to tell one of the fellows that the other is ashamed and regrets that it has escalated to such an extent and is willing to give up the silly spot. He then, similarly fabricated the same story to the other. So I asked him what happened. Dr. Goldman answered back ‘it worked!’ ‘So who sits there now?’ I asked. ‘It’s vacant’! He responded, ‘out of respect to each other’.

 

Aharon was especially successful with married couples. People in general have tremendous sensitivities and get hurt too quickly, especially couples. One has to be super sensitive to his or her spouse. In this highly pressurized society that we live in, it’s easy to get busy and ignore the other’s needs. We therefore have to make an effort to spend quality time with the ones we love.We learn how careful one must be when speaking about one spouse to the other. If one promotes bad feelings, it’s a terrible sin.

 

The discovery in this week’s parsha that even G-d would lie to preserve the peace between a couple, should make us realize the importance of the matter.

Overview of Sefer Bereishit

September 1, 2013 Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
   

 

The accomplishment of finishing something is always sweet, and this week we conclude the book of Bereishit. The beauty of learning the Chumash (Bible) is that one can study the same passage when you’re in grade school and as an adult, and come out fulfilled. I remember how proud I was in finishing the book of Bereishit in early grade school and the whole class screaming the signature conclusion that one finds in any scripture ‘chazak chazak venitchazek’. The classmates would then add jokingly ‘my mother baked a chocolate cake and in the cake there was a rake’. If one had to summarize or give an underlying theme of the book of Bereishit, what would it be? Perhaps, one may say, it’s seeking the truth.

 

The first memory of this concept is Abraham who experimented in many areas in his pursuit of the truth and coming to the conclusion of a monotheistic G-d. How many of you remember this beautiful Midrash? (story from the oral Torah). On one occasion, he was given the task of watching over his father’s pagan-idol shop. When his father came back, he found all the idols broken except the biggest one, holding an ax. He asked Abraham ‘what happened?’ He replied, ‘the big one got angry at the rest and broke them all’. The father in disbelief answered back ‘their incapable’. Abraham answered if you don’t believe it’s true, why do you make them out to be powerful Gods?

 

There is a riveting storyline of truth in Parshat Vayeshev, when Yehuda was rewarded and became the leader of the Jews. This is because it was extremely tempting to lie and hide what really transpired. However, he admitted his participation in sleeping, unknowingly, with his widowed daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law was in the right because she was legally bound to Yehuda’s family. The revelation of truth produced, through that union, the seeds of the Moshiach.

 

In the book of Bereishit, we learn how sensitive one should be when confronting issues between husband and wife. G-d teaches us that sometimes truth is meant not to be told. When good news arrived via the angels, that Abraham and Sarah will have children, Sarah had doubts ‘how can we have children, my husband is so old?’ G-d asked Abraham in a later conversation, altering what his wife said, why did Sarah say ‘how can we have kids, I’m so old?

 

Sometimes, lies and impersonations are required in order to maintain and preserve integrity in the world. Straight-laced Yaacov, the epitome of truth, had to lie and go against his character, his whole philosophy of life and impersonate his brother, Eisav, in order to get a crucial blessing from his father.

 

Apparently, right from the beginning, we find the snake putting doubt in Eve’s mind, taking advantage of the lie Adam told her, in order to seduce her. Although Adam used the lie in order to protect her from eating from the tree, it backfired.

 

It seems like the concept of truth has been in a tug of war, fighting for preservation throughout the entire book of Bereishit. The Torah teaches us when to use it and when not to. Although it’s a bit complex, perhaps the teachings of Rav Henoch Leibowitz z’l, would shed some light with this very clear message. ‘Who is a man of truth, one who recognizes the good and appreciates what G-d has done for him’. He continues, ‘ever wonder why Yehuda was able to persevere and tell the truth under extreme difficult circumstances, because when he was born, his mother named him Yehuda – in appreciation; ‘I appreciate that G-d gave me a wonderful child. She acquired the trait of appreciation and instilled it in her son, and he reciprocated and became royalty in G-d’s eyes.