Tag Archive for Aharon

“Take out the garbage!!” sure honey, anything for you.

March 23, 2016 Uncategorized No comments

 

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of  Rabbi’s, Yissachar Frand, Yossi bilus, Asher Hurzberg, Artscrol Siddur


What’s that old comedian’s name?  That Jewish comedian who had a wonderfully brilliant routine of a Jewish mega-CEO who commanded the respect of many within his circles. Many would “yes sir” him and “no sir” him; they would address him “good morning sir”;   they would melt in fright if he would just look in their direction for it might imply a mistake that they, G-d forbid, haddone. However, when he arrives home he would be belittled by his wife for forgetting to take out the garbage that morning. “You didn’t forget to put on your pants this morning! How can you forget to take out the garbage?! The house stinks because of you! You’re not entering this house unless the garbage disappears from my eyes. You’re not the idiot! I’m the idiot for marrying you,” the wife continues “because no one else would’ve done it!” We see how this well respected man is suddenly humiliated. Yet for shalom bayit – peace in the house, he doesn’t answer back. What a transformation from a lion at work to a tormented mouse at home!
This week’s Parsha contains the mitzvah of offering the Korban Olah [Burnt Offering]. Aharon and his children were given the tremendous responsibility of the Service of the Temple. The first and foremost task that Aharon and his children are instructed to perform is the mitzvah of Terumat HaDeshen — the removal of the ashes that were consumed by the previous night’s fire on top of the Mizbayach [altar].
A question arises? Did they need to? Why couldn’t others perform that remedial task? It’s similar to cleaning the grill. Why should the chef have to trouble himself? Surely Aharon had better things to do?!
The Chovas Halevovos [Duties of the Heart], written by R. Bachye Ibn Paquda; 11th century Spain, one of the defining works on ethics and mussar – that is self-improvement and refining of character; says that the rationale behind this is that the Torah is particularly careful that people do not let things go to their heads, lest they become ba’alei ga’avah (haughty). It would only be natural for Aharon to consider himself special. He was one of the select few who had the merit of performing the Temple Service! Nevertheless, the Torah instructed him that the first thing that he must do every morning is — remove the ashes! The function of this job, according to the Chovot Halevovot, is to lower the self-image of the Kohanim and remove haughtiness from their hearts.
Interesting! Look how a man thinks, just one little complement, one pat on the back and it can goes long way. Even the most pious can fall prey to feeling haughty. We’re all susceptible to sprouting up like roosters, sucking up every bit of glory and declaring “Look at me; look at what I’ve done; look at my accomplishments.”
HAUGHTINESS AND ARROGANCE
When the Jews, our Ancestors, entered the Promised Land they were warned that if they had a propensity for haughtiness and arrogance (called Gasut haRuach), they would pay the price for G-d will place a tzaraat-affliction upon their house that was in “the land of your possession.” This affliction would look like special colored spots on the walls of the house. Ironically, it seems that today we have instant gratification, whereas back then they had instant punishment. Seems like good behavior was a necessity, or else. They always had to be on their tipi toes: the margin of error didn’t exist. G-d would inflict them where it hurts the most. What’s the old saying “a man’s home is his castle.”?
The one to whom the house belongs shall come and declare to the Kohen, saying: Something like an affliction has appeared to me in the house. (k’negah nireh li b’bayit)” [Vayikra 14:34-35] Rashi points out that even a Torah scholar who knows full well that what he has seen is certainly tzaraat affliction, may only tentatively state “something appearing like an affliction has developed on the wall of my house.”
We are trying to teach the person a lesson: Don’t be so sure of yourself. You cannot definitely state “It is a Nega – affliction.” You should state the facts with less confidence and self-assurance. Leave your declaration at “Something like a Nega has appeared on my house.”
‘You got yourself into this trouble by being too sure of yourself. Forget the fact that you spent the last 25 years studying the Laws of Tzaraat. Don’t be so cocky. The Tikun [antidote] to self-assurance is to retain some doubt about the correctness of your diagnosis. Say only “K’nega nireh li babayit – there may be Nega in my house.”
One of the components of the purification ritual for the afflicted house is Eizov, a kind of moss, which is dipped into the blood of the slaughtered bird as part. Rashi quoting Chazal explains that this is because moss is a very low lying growth. We are sending the person a message that his problem resulted from an overabundance of arrogance and haughtiness. We are telling him “You have to start acting more like the Eizov.”
The Sefat Emet asks a simple question. Why doesn’t the Kohen just come out and say that directly to the person: “You are too haughty!” Why is this message delivered so obliquely with this Eizov ingredient in the bird purification ritual? Why are we beating around the bush – ahem – moss for? Let’s tell him “You are a Baal Gayvah – a haughty person you had this coming to you! Start acting more humbly and your problems will go away!” We do not do this. We deliver the message with extreme subtlety. Why?
The Sefat Emet answers that you cannot preach humility. Humility must be self-generated and self-inspired. Preaching the value of humbleness to a haughty person will fall on deaf ears. He needs to come to this realization on his own. We try to send him messages that will cause him to introspect and inspire him to think “What have I been doing wrong?” He should think – why is it that out of all the plants in the world, they bring me moss? Hopefully, this will trigger the inspiration that must come from within — that it would be wise to be a bit more humble in the future.

KNOWING WHO YOU ARE AND UNDERSTANDING YOUR TRUE VALUE 
There is a famous story which illustrates this point. Rav Chatzkel Abramsky, zt”l, once needed to testify in a case in which the Beis Din of London was sued by a shochet [ritual slaughterer] who had been fired. As the head of the Beis Din, Rav Abramsky had no choice, but to testify in secular court. His attorney asked him to state his name and his position. The attorney then asked, “Is it true that you are the greatest living halachic authority on the European continent?” Rav Abramsky said, “Yes. That is true.”A person who denies his own identity and talents is not humble. He is deceiving himself. An ‘anav’ [humble person] can know precisely who he is.
At that point the judge interjected and said, “Rabbi Abramsky, is that not rather haughty on your part? I thought that your laws and ethics teach you to be humble.” Without any hesitation, Rav Abramsky responded, “I know we are taught to be humble. But I am under oath.”
The point of this story is that Rav Chatzkel Abramsky was aware that he was the greatest living halachic authority on the European continent. Recognition of his true status was not haughtiness. However to flaunt it is haughtiness.
What then is the key to humility? The key to humility is to remember that whatever a person has and is, is a gift from Heaven. “It is not my strength and the power of my hand that has wrought me this great wealth” It is not my brains. It is not my talents. It isnot innate. It is all a blessing from G-d.” A person remains humble by realizing and remembering that all of his achievements in this world are only through the good graces of G-d, and that he can lose them at any minute, G-d forbid.
There is a famous Mishneh at the end of Maseches Sotah that states that when Rebbi (Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi, the editor of the Mishneh) died, humility ceased. Rav Yosef in the Gemara questions this Mishneh and says that it could not possibly be accurate “For I am here”. This comment of Rav Yosef begs for clarification.
There is a beautiful homiletic interpretation of this Talmudic passage. Rav Yosef was not saying, “I am humble. Therefore there are humble people around.” He was saying something else. We learn elsewhere that Rav Yosef became blind. When he became blind, he forgot all his learning. This great Amora, Rav Yosef, whose opinion is found on so many folios of Shas, who learned so much, who taught so much — this same Rav Yosef forgot it all after his illness.
Rav Yosef is saying is the following: “Do not say that there cannot be humble people around anymore — because I am around. As long as I am around, people can look at me and see what can happen to a person. Let them see that a person can be an Amora, know all of the Mishnayot, have hundreds of students and yet forget it all. If people bear that in mind, then there can still be humble people. For the key to humility is realizing that everything is a gift that can be lost at any time.”
My wife told over this unforgettable story which has made an impression on me ever since. There was a well-respected woman who attended a wedding and unfortunately at the wedding she was berated and humiliated by another woman that even the men on the other side of the mechitza – partitioned wall – were able to hear the yelling. The woman doing the yelling was obviously having issues and was not able to cope so well with her current developing problems. The woman who was the victim did not utter a word; she did not respond even though some of the accusations said were very personal and should have been kept quiet. This is because another woman ran to the well-respected woman and pleaded not to respond. Afterwards, the other woman asked that the well-respected woman give her a bracha. The woman was childless, and had been advised by a Rav to receive a bracha from “one who is humiliated in public and doesn’t talk back”. One who gets embarrassed is humbled immensely. Note however, that one does have to have self-dignity and protect himself, however they also have to know where the humiliation is coming from and give a carefully measured response. And, at times, a response might not be appropriate at all.
Who is a humble person? A humble person is someone who is well aware that G-d runs the show so he or in this case she possesses special merits that when she says something the heavens above will listen.
The Diamond Dairy restaurant was in the heart of the Jewelry industry. It was tremendously convenient, for yours truly, for my office was above the restaurant in the same building. One afternoon I looked around while I was having a late lunch and there he was, the famous Jewish comedian, sitting there having a meal.  He would frequently come to Diamond Dairy for it reminded many of the old European Jews of their childhood favorite dishes. I walked over to him after he finished his lunch and complemented him on his very humorous impersonation of the Kennedys and on his “take out the garbage” routine.
He said to me “You know nowadays it’s even more difficult. These husband have such complicated jobs but they can’t figure out what goes into recycle.” I asked “So, what’s the solution Mr. Maza?” Mr. Maza, the comedian winked and said, “You have to swallow your pride and tip them well at the end of December.”

 

Manipulation: dangerous or productive.

June 4, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of  Rabbi’s  Chaim Wagner, Dr. Abba Goldman
The great man! G-d empowered him with the ability to build or destroy the world. Man has the ability physically as well as spiritually, using the tools given, to make use of G-d’s playground as he wishes. Of course, inevitably, he will have to answer for his actions but for now he’s a free bird.
There is one particular tool that’s very interesting and I’d like to illustrate with a story that actually happened. Unfortunately, it happens quite often. The names and places are changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
Being single in the Jewish scene is very difficult. There is a lot of pressure in getting married and starting a family. Mazal is mazal, for some it’s easy to find “the one” and for some it’s not so easy. As an Orthodox Jew there is a degree of modesty that one has to adhere to and therefore he/she cannot, for the most part meet their mate anywhere. One goes on numerous blind dates. The credentials of the guy and girl are carefully checked before the two go out. It is rare that one meets his Eshet Chail walking up to her, with a drink in his hand, at a bar. The pick-up line, among the Orthodox is a lot less apparent than in the secular world. However its difficult, at times to stay idle and wait for the matchmaker or friend to call.
At one point, going to the Catskill Mountains for weekend Shabbatons at hotels was considered making an additional attempt. It makes the individual feel good that perhaps he’s making an effort, that perhaps he’s doing something!! The atmosphere, though, is very tense. People bottle up their emotions and try to put up a very happy face when going to a singles social gathering. There is much competition and a lot of hurtful feeling going around when what you perceive to be “the one you would spend a lifetime with” doesn’t agree with your sentiments. However, one cannot visibly display their inner pain. At times those feeling are displayed in a roundabout way.
Ruben and Lee were lounging around the hotel lobby on a Shabbat afternoon bored and a bit tired. They were surrounded by a few friends watching as other guests of the hotel, who were part of a singles Shabbaton, were entering and leaving when a familiar face, Sammy, entered the lobby.
As Sammy made his way and said his hello to the guys, he started to brag, as he usually does, about himself, about his business dealing the past week, and his good fortune he’s having over the weekend, Ruben glanced a smirk to Lee. Lee foresaw exactly what Ruben was going to do as he played along with him.
Ruben interrupted him and began to discuss a mutual friend who also approached the same girl as he did. “And did you know, Lee, they were talking for hours this afternoon” Ruben looked at Lee’s direction, as Lee nodded, yes. Lee, then, chimed in and, on a completely different topic, and said mockingly “and you know David said (a business maven in their circle of friends)” who ever bought the stock Three Star is going to take a bath”. They knew Sammy invested, heavily, in the stock. Ruben and Lee perhaps, perturbed by the weekend anxieties or by the annoyance of Sammy, cleverly and brilliantly engineered the fable story of the girl talking to the other friend as well as David’s prediction of the failed stock.
Ruben and Lee succeeded in accomplishing what they wanted, as Sammy exploded, made an ugly scene, and practically drew out, in a fit of rage, both the manager of the hotel and the program organizer to contain him.
Ruben and Lee knew Sammy had a short fuse; they knew what buttons to push. They were toying with him predicting and placing bets at what precise moment Sammy will lose it. After seeing this display, one is left to wonder are we wolves dressed up like sheep?
Man is made up of a four chemical makeup: fire, water, wind, and sand. Depending on each individual, the chemical makeup differs. If fire is dominant, then a person tendency’s is toward anger or toward pursuit of honor. When fire is lit, if one notices, it tends to go up; the same with a person who desires “kavod” – honor – if he receives just a slight compliment, his ego goes up, and up and away. If one tends to gravitate towards water, then he’s more prone to lusty bodily desires; that’s what’s on his mind. Wind is lightheadedness and sand is laziness and depression.
We read in this week’s parsha about a Nazir – a person who takes a vow to separate oneself from material pleasures. The Nazir may not drink wine or cut his hair. The Nazir is also prohibited in defilement through contact with a dead body.
When we speak about a Nazir the first name that comes to mind is Shimshon the most famous of them all.
Shimshon’s parents’ prayers were answered and after many years, they had a baby boy. However, the messenger, an angel, informed Shimshon’s mother “The baby you will have cannot drink wine and cut his hair.” Shimshon had tremendous strength and the secret of his strength was his “nezerut” (refraining from wine and a good barber).
Shimshon had a tendency to gravitate towards non-Jewish women. His first wife was burned by the Jews’ bitter enemy – Philishtim. His second wife, Delila, also not Jewish, was beautiful and Shimshon was smitten by her. Why did she marry him? Well, he wasn’t exactly your typical Jewish accountant. He was strong and the Philishtim were scared of him.

Delila was genuinely a good person; however, as time went on, she got corrupted. The spies of the Philishtim came over to Delila and offered her tremendous wealth and status. Then after the first meeting went so well, the officers came up to her place. Delila was flattered; she received so much attention and “kavod”. They knew how to manipulate her. A good person can deteriorate. Some say she had an affair; others say she had an affair with the money, with the “kavod”. Delila was sold on being their spy and she went to work for the Philishtim. She was to find out the secret of her husband’s power. She tortured him, refraining from sexual relations unless he reveals his secret. She nagged him and at times crying, “You don’t love me.” Apparently, she knew how to manipulate him. It’s hard for a man to be blackmailed with having physical relations. However, he can overcome and be strong. There was one important factor in this relationship; he loved her more then she loved him and she knew it!
Shimshon was a very holy and great man who was extremely sincere and loved G-d very much. One should never do what Shimshon did; he invited G-d to test his weakness. We tend to get all gung-ho about our religious level and sometimes we pray and say things that will haunt us later. Shimshon eventually revealed his secret and Delila quickly passed it on to the Philishtim contacts. Tragic ending to Shimshon.
At a banquet where all the major officers of the Philishtim army came to celebrate the capture of Shimshon who was chained to the great pillar at the banquet, Shimshon, whose eyes were gorged out, prayed one last time to G-d to forgive him and give him strength this one last time. G-d answered his prayer and with one thrust, he brought down the pillars and the building, and killed everyone, including himself.
Many lessons can be learned from the story of Shimshon and Delila but the one that’s greatly apparent is how manipulation was used to destroy a man. Furthermore the woman who destroyed Shimshon was manipulated herself. The manipulation tactic was aimed at their weakness and succeeded in exposing it.
However, manipulation can be positive. Aharon, Moshe’s brother was, famously known as, a man of peace, who deceived others in order to secure the “shalom” whether it be between husband and wife or friends. Manipulation, we see was a major and successful tool used by the greatest peacemaker of all time.
Interestingly, Yaakov, our forefather knew his future father-in-law, Lavan would try to manipulate him. So he devised a plan revealing to Rachel, the one he loved, secret signs as a precautionary measure just in case Lavan actually does switch Rachel with her sister Leah.
Indeed the switch took place and the next morning, low and behold, it’s Leah. However, we find that Leah wasn’t punished for deceiving and manipulating Yaakov. In fact, one can say it was admirable of her for going through with the charades. She didn’t want to marry a “rasha” like Eisav who she was destined for. So why does the verse say she was “senua”- hated by Yaakov? It was not manipulation at all. When Yaakov asked the next morning “why did you answer “yes” when I called Rachel’s name throughout the night” she responded rudely “I’m just following your example; when you received the “bracha” from your father, you answered deceitfully “I’m your oldest son – Eisav”. This is the reason why Yaakov became distant from Leah.
Manipulation is a way of life; it’s a tool that can be used to make people better or destroy them. Yes, it can reflect a lack of appreciation for another human being. One undermines another’s dignity. The manipulator gets his way in an underhanded manor. It shows a lack of respect. However, we mentioned briefly that Leah raised the issue how Yaakov and his mother, Rivka, conspired to manipulate Yitzchak, his father and that was crucial in the development of the Jewish people. Yitzchak, himself, later realized that he was wrong in favoring Eisav and believing he’s the chosen one.
Granted, in most cases it can lead to trouble, however, the Torah was made for people who have a mind and can reason. Nothing in this world is black and white. One should use prudent judgment and ask advice. G-d gave us all gifts and weaknesses and it’s our job to bring out the positive energy in others whatever which way. It’s also apparent that we must not let our weaknesses be magnified and fall victim to manipulation.
We see through manipulation the nation of Israel was formed. It can build or destroy – the choice is ours.

I want the Bracha First!!!

January 30, 2014 Jewish Values No comments

This article was constructed with the help of Dr. Robert Goldman, Psychologist of Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim and Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Eliezer Finkleman, Yitzchak Aminov

Who doesn’t want to receive a bracha from their beloved father or grandfather? It’s a big honor. One gets a feeling of warmth and an awareness that the bracha has been passed down for many generations, for thousands of years. It’s beautiful!!

 

 

Interestingly, though, what happens when the beloved patriarch wants to give a more important bracha to your younger sibling? How would you feel? Would you feel slighted?  Does one still have that warm feeling?

 

 

We have an ancient tradition, and many would say, one of the most beautiful customs in Jewish life is for parents to bless their children at the start of the Friday night Shabbat meal. What makes it more important is it’s done at Shabbat table which is designed to be the grand stage for family communication and family love, especially in todays fast pace lifestyle where one doesn’t communicate with his family all week.  Girls receive the blessing: “May God make you like the matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.” Boys, meanwhile, are blessed “to be like Ephraim and Menashe.”
What happened to the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?! Why were Ephraim and Menashe chosen instead as the subjects of this important tradition?

 

 

In this week’s parsha, the last in the book of Sefer Bereshit, we see a very interesting pattern, the rejection of the first-born. When Yosef brought his two sons for a blessing from Yaacov, his father, who was old and ready to pass on, he did something very peculiar. Yaacov crossed his arms so that Efraim, who was the youngest, would be under his right hand and Menashe, who was older and purposely placed by Yosef at his grandfather’s right, got the left. Yaacov, who emphasized that Menashe also received a nice bracha, gave the more important blessing to Efraim.

 

We see through history that the first born, the well-respected elder, receives double the inheritance, losing, on many occasions, the status in which he inherited. This was apparent in the first generation of the world; Cain was the oldest; however Hevel got the reward. We know that Shem, (where our ancestors come from) one of three sons of Noach, was not the first-born. Abraham passed the baton to Isaac, the youngest, and not to Yishmael. The same is said about Isaac’s sons, Eisav, who was the bechor, but Yaacov was the brother chosen. Reuben, the eldest of the twelve tribes, neither got the first-born rights, the kingdom nor the kehuna (high priest).

 

 

First and foremost, the Torah is trying to emphasize that even though the first-born has changed the status of man and has made him a father of this precise bechor, nevertheless, the bechor has to earn the benefits that has been bestowed upon him. There’s no freebee; no job is safe. Apparently, it’s a demanding role and has to be maintained to the highest standard, or else he loses it.

 

 

There is a puzzling question: Okay, we learn “one has to earn his brownie points and nothing is a freebee” from the tragic story of Cain and Hevel, but the Torah keeps on harping the same pattern over and over. Why? We learned the lesson. Perhaps one didn’t get it the first time, so the Torah wants to accommodate those slow thinkers and present similar storyline; possibility?

 

Ephraim and Menashe represent a break from this pattern. This explains why Yaacov purposely switched his hands, blessing the younger Ephraim before the older Menashe:  there was no
resentment from Menashe. He was ok with it!!  There was no jealousy; he didn’t feel slighted. This was a tremendous revelation. Yaacov wished to emphasize the point that with these siblings, there is no rivalry. For this reason Menashe and Efraim both received their own tribe. They were the only grandchildren to receive this recognition. It was a tremendous act of respect on Yaacov’s part to give them such honor. He knew what refined character they both had.

        The book of Bereshit concludes with the positive unity of Menashe and Ephraim as one of its lead story. After all the sibling rivalry which we encountered, mankind finally got it right. For this reason, the Torah goes out of its way in the beginning of the second book of Shemot, to relay a conversation between G-d and Moshe pertaining Moshe’s appointment  as leader of the Israelites. Moshe was concerned that his older brother will be slighted. He was afraid he would be humiliated. After all, he was the leader of the nation until that point. Although Aharon did nothing wrong as leader, it was evident, one didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to realize Moshe was born with unusual gifts and was destined to be the redeemer.  We see Aharon’s greatness was to recognize Moshe’s ability and to realize he would be best for the nation of Israel. Aharon was happy to step down. It was totally a selfless and courageous act.

        One has to realize that it’s not so simple to overcome such a test. In fact, it’s one of the CHULSHAT ENOSH human weaknesses. There are a number of very interesting stories in our history pertaining to this test.

        The great HILLEL came to Israel from Babylonia. His activity of forty years likely covered the period of 30 BC to 10 AD. As soon as he came, everyone realized how great he was. He answered all the questions that was presented to him and knew all the Jewish discourses that was presented to him cold. It seemed like Shmaya and Avtalyon, the leading Rabbis, also realized that he was far greater than they. In response to his presence they resigned their position as leading Rabbis, relinquishing the mantle of leadership to him. A generation later the famous Rabbi Yehuda the NASI-prince, the leader of the Jews of his generation and the author of the Mishna said it would be most difficult, for me, to give up the position of president. I would not be able to relinquish the honor. Kol Hakavod to Shmaya  and Avtalyon for placing the welfare of the Jewish people in front of their life time achievements, goals and pride.

        Being the leading Rabbi has always been in the forefront throughout our history. In every corner of the world the head Rabbi was traditionally always recognized as the authority. It commands tremendous respect but with it he takes upon himself tremendous responsibility.

 

        In the 1700’s, there was a large Jewish community in Prague headed by Rabbi Yechezkel Laundau. The position of head Rabbi was traditionally chosen by vote. Rabbi Laundau narrowly beat out Rabbi Zorach, who was also tremendous Torah scholar. Rabbi Zorach was not satisfied. He felt he would be the better choice in serving the community. On the first Shabbat of Rabbi Laudau’s new position, Rabbi Zorach asked him a question in front of the congregation that he could not answer. It was clearly an embarrassing moment right at the start of his tenure. He came home and cried himself to sleep. His father, who had passed away some time ago, came to him in a dream where Rabbi Laundau disclosed to him his anguish over the question asked by Rav Zorach. His father said “Son you will find the answer of the question in the Tosfot in this particular tractate of the Talmud,” disclosing the page. The next morning sure enough the answer was there. He then showed it to Rav Zorach who himself was not aware of the Tosfot answer. He then asked him “how did you figure out the answer?” When he found out about his father coming to him from the next world to give him the answer and save face in front of the congregation, he rationalized if the other world is interfering with matters of this world and providing answers so Rav Laundau can keep his position then perhaps this is what the heavens want; this is what is suppose to be. He then gave up the quest to overthrow Rabbi Laundau and eventually became a staunch supporter of him.

        Rav Zorach could have rationalized the situation differently. We tend to look at everything to our favor. If man develops a liking to a certain view, he can make a straight line look crooked.

        It’s too simplistic to blame the individual alone for being selfish. It’s a lot more complex. One has many pressures. On occasion, the wife and other family members get involved, egging the person not to give up. Perhaps they would feel slighted by the individual not being chosen. One, at times, succumbs to pressure.  What starts out as a sincere project often ends up as an egotistical struggle; it’s scary, however, we tend to be drawn in to this natural human nature deficiency.

        One of the most sensitive person that I have ever met, who worked and stressed good character traits was the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim Rav Henoch Liebowitz t’zl.

        At his Eulogy, one of the eulogizers said something mind boggling. He quoted Rav Henoch saying that “the toughest decision that I ever made was to pass over the position of Rosh Yesiva to his own chosen heir apparent.”

        Here is a man well into his eighties knowing well he cannot function as the head Rabbi because of health issues, has difficulty giving up the mantle.

        It’s not so easy!!

        We now can appreciate and acknowledge that Menashe was a remarkable human being and the same can be said of Aharon.

Peace & Harmony

September 8, 2013 Jewish Values No comments
abraham's tent

 

In this week’s parsha, we learn a very valuable lesson on how to maintain peace and harmony among married couples. Both G-d and the angels give us a mind- boggling crash course.

 

We find the three angels coming to Abraham with a number of tasks, one of which is to tell Sarah that she will have a baby. The angels made a point of inquiring about Sarah, ‘Where is your wife, Sarah?’ so as to endear her to her husband’ (Bava Metzia 87a). The question that the angels asked, set up a response by Abraham (she’s in the tent) and through those words that he uttered, made him realize the exceptional modesty his wife possessed. Therefore, she would become even dearer to him.

 

We find something interesting in the Gemara in Ketubot in which we see that it is permissible to lie to a groom and tell him ‘your wife is such a beautiful Kallah (bride)’, even though she’s not. But for the sake of endearing the wife in the groom’s eyes, a little white lie is permissible. Commentaries on this Gemarah extend this idea. For example, if one purchases an item, lets say a tie, and you meet him for coffee, even though the tie is not nice, one should lie in order not to make him feel bad; (If there is no refund policy.)

 

Furthermore in the parsha, we find Sarah could not believe the good news of her upcoming pregnancy. But she had an interesting response about her husband, ‘How can we have kids? My master is old’. But G-d misquoted her to Abraham, saying only about her ‘I have aged’ (not mentioning Abraham). G-d lied for the sake of shalom (peace), so that her words should not offend Abraham. This, despite the fact that Abraham was indeed old (he was 99) and would certainly have realized that she had no ill intentions when she had said it. Yet to avoid that tiniest possibility of friction, to refrain from diminishing somewhat the peace and harmony (shalom bayit), G-d altered her words.

 

The master of creating peace and harmony was Aharon (Moshe’s brother). He would fabricate a story and tell Joe, who is fighting with Jack, that Jack has tremendous regret about the disagreement between the two of you and is devastated by losing such a wonderful friend; then he would go to Jack and similarly fabricate a story that Joe feels the same way. This is how he would successfully bring Jack and Joe together. Each one thinks the other is caring and wants to make up.

 

Dr. Goldman, the Psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, once was in the crossroad between a major feud of two individuals. Both claimed the rights to Dr. Goldman’s seat in the study hall. On Shabbat, the good doctor stayed home in Kew Gardens, therefore the seat is vacant. Remembering the famous Medrash (commentary) of Aharon, the good doctor said, ‘let me try it’. He proceeded to tell one of the fellows that the other is ashamed and regrets that it has escalated to such an extent and is willing to give up the silly spot. He then, similarly fabricated the same story to the other. So I asked him what happened. Dr. Goldman answered back ‘it worked!’ ‘So who sits there now?’ I asked. ‘It’s vacant’! He responded, ‘out of respect to each other’.

 

Aharon was especially successful with married couples. People in general have tremendous sensitivities and get hurt too quickly, especially couples. One has to be super sensitive to his or her spouse. In this highly pressurized society that we live in, it’s easy to get busy and ignore the other’s needs. We therefore have to make an effort to spend quality time with the ones we love.We learn how careful one must be when speaking about one spouse to the other. If one promotes bad feelings, it’s a terrible sin.

 

The discovery in this week’s parsha that even G-d would lie to preserve the peace between a couple, should make us realize the importance of the matter.

Parshat Tetzave

August 25, 2013 Highlights on the Weekly Parsha No comments

 

 

Introduction: LET’S GO TO WAR!! NO WAIT!! NOT A GOOD IDEA…. WELL…HMMM…LET’S FIND OUT IF IT’S NECESSARY; WE’LL ASK THE URIM VATUMIM.

 

The “soul” of the CHOSHEN, the URIM VE’ TUMIM, were inserted between the two layers of the CHOSHEN. It lay hidden between its folds. The CHOSHEN was worn by the High Priest over his chest. (see more detail in the highlight section, second portion)

 

The most intriguing part of the KOHEN GADOL’S-High Priest’s clothing were the URIM VE’ TUMIM which were scrolls of parchment on which Moshe had written the Divine seventy two letter name. They caused the choshen to light up. The letters supplied the Divine answers to questions that were posed to it. Hence, the name URIM VE’ TUMIM as URIM-the letters lit up (from the root OR-LIGHT), and TUMIM-their say was final and unalterable (derived from the word TAM/perfect, in contrast, the word of the prophet was not final, but conditional depending on their repentance).

 

The CHOSHEN was also called CHOSHEN MISHPAT since the final decision (mishpat for each questionable scenario was reached by means of the URIM VE’ TUMIM).

 

Only matters concerning the king, the BET DIN- high court, or the entire nation could be settled by the means of the URIM VE’TUMIM. It was not permissible to question them for private purposes.

 

In the course of the conquest of the land of Israel, after Moshe’s leadership of forty years, the Israelites were defeated after attacking the city of Ai. Yehoshua, the leader who followed Moshe, asked G-d in wonderment, “why were we defeated?” G-d answered, “Someone violated the oath prohibiting anyone from taking any spoils from Yericho, for the entire city was to be consecrated to G-d”.

 

Yehoshua determined who the sinner was by the URIM Ve’TUMIM, by looking at the CHOSHEN and finding the gem of Yehuda’s tribe lit. He realized that the culprit came from that tribe. After further investigation and drawing lots, the guilty party was discovered. Achan, the perpetrator, thereupon confessed.

 

The RAMBAN’s view is that the URIM VE’ TUMIM were actually made by G-d himself. Presumably, Moshe handed down the secret of the URIM VE’TUMIM to the greatest men of his generation and it was passed down through the ensuing chain of command.

 

There is the famous story of Chana, who’s prayer is the standard of excellence, when she came to pray for children, she got into an argument with Eli, the High Priest. When he chided her for being intoxicated, she responded, “No, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit”. Eli saw Chana weeping silently, so he asked the URIM VE’ TUMIM about her. The letters SHIN KAF RESH HEI lit up. He read it to mean a drunk, intoxicated. However, he was mistaken by not rearranging the letters correctly; it was KESHERA-reputable. Chana’s prayers were answered and she had a boy, Shmuel the Prophet.

 

Besides Moshe, no prophet could have a prophetic vision whenever he wished. By contrast, whenever the Kohen Gadol wish to pose a question to the URIM Ve’ TETUMIM, he could do so, implying that the URIM VE’ TUMIM were greater than most prophets.

 

MAIN THEME OF THE PARSHA: This week’s parsha deals primarily with the Kohanim; their selection, their attire worn during their service to G-d, and the inauguration service, by which they and their offspring would become confirmed as kohanim for all time.

 

First Portion: * G-d places responsibility on man by giving him physical resources in a giant playground called Earth, where he has to elevate himself and the settings around him to spiritual heights. Last week we discussed the various materials needed for the construction of the Mishkan (tabernacle). In this week’s Parsha, for the most part, we will discuss the High Priest’s proper attire; these kohanim are the conduit between us and G-d and therefore much emphasis is spent on the topic.

 

* The Parsha begins with a description of what kind of oil is needed for the Menorah. Only oil from the first pressing of an olive was acceptable for the Menorah. These first drops were perfectly clear and without sediment. The oil in its perfect state represents purity of the heart.

 

* There is more attention and material written in the Torah on the crown that the high priest wore rather than the king of the Jewish nation.

 

* Every Kohen who served in the temple wore four garments, termed bigdai hedyot (garment of an ordinary Kohen). They were:

– ketonet – the shirt

– michnasayim – the breeches

– avnait – the belt

– migba’at- the turban

 

The four above mentioned were made of white linen.

 

* The Kohen Gadol wore these garments to accept the migba’at. While the migba’at was pointed on top, the turban of the Kohen Gadol was round and called mitsnefet.

 

Additionally, the Kohen Gadol wore four golden garments. They were:

– me’il – the mantle

– aifod – the apron

– choshen – the breastplate

– tzits – the head plate

 

Second Portion: * The most intriguing part of the Kohen’s clothing is the choshen, also known as the choshen mishpat (breastplate of the final judgment). It was made rectangular in form and folded in the middle to form two perfect squares. The Kohen Gadol wore these squares over his heart, one layer above the other. Between the two layers, the urim vetumim were inserted. The choshen was woven in a pattern, which contained four rows of gold settings. Into each of these settings, three precious gems were inserted.

 

* It is written the Kohen Gadol should wear it on his heart. This is referring to Aharon. G-d is rewarding Aharon for not being jealous and having a pure heart for his younger brother, Moshe, being appointed over him as leader.

 

* The soul of the choshen was the urim ve’tumim that lay hidden between its folds. The urim vetumim were scrolls of parchment on which Moshe had written the divine 72 letters name. These urim vetumim caused the letters to light up. The letters supplied answers. Only matters concerning the king, the bet din or the entire Klal Yisrael could be settled by the urim vetumim.

 

Third Portion: * Bells were hanging all around the robe’s hem. The question is asked why the Kohen needed bells? Here, G-d is teaching us manners and proper etiquette. The Kohen was to enter the Holies of Holies where G-d’s ambiance was present. One cannot barge in without knocking or without ringing the bell. This is the source of ringing doorbells.

 

Fourth Portion: * Seven days of inauguration; it was a rejoicing period for the kohanim who were picked to do the holy service

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* An offering was made by Aharon and his sons for the atonement of taking part in the sin of the golden calf. There is a custom till today that the Leviyim in the Synagogue help the kohanim prepare before they bless the people. The inception of this ritual was the result of the commandment by G-d who had instructed Moshe to do so to Aharon, the Kohen. This is because after coming down from the mountain and seeing the golden calf fiasco, Moshe suspected in his heart that Aharon was responsible for this tragedy. By instructing Moshe to assist Aharon, G-d is showing that he had the purist intention. Nevertheless, as the person in charge until Moshe came back, Aharon had to pay a price for having the sin occur under his leadership.

 

Fifth Portion: * Ayil meluim – meluim signifies the inauguration. Another definition, in which Rashi explains, is perfection, an offering of perfection. This is similar to the word, Shalem, which is also a name for an offering. Rashi says the root of meluim is maleh. The concept of the Mikdash is “coming to that perfect state” which is olam habah – the next world, The Mishkan is a compartment of olam Habah.

 

Sixth Portion: * G-d reaffirms His authority with the word ‘Vayedu’, they will know through the sacrifices and through the temple where G-d sort of rests. The ability to identify with the Mikdash as G-d’s house, something tangible will strengthen the belief among the Israelites.

 

Seventh Portion: * Mizbeach haketoret – incense; this is a very important offering. It says G-d’s ambiance did not rest until the ketoret was burned.

Parshat Va’eira

August 23, 2013 Highlights on the Weekly Parsha No comments

First Portion: * HAVING THE RIGHT COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL TO GETTING AHEAD IN LIFE. The Sages were very clever in devising the essentials in the Siddur so that we can communicate with G-d in the optimal way and thereby get our prayers answered. Yes of course, if one fulfills the commandment and prays with intensity, with all his heart, shakes the shul with his fire, he can break through to the heavens!!  We should strive for that BE’EZRAT HASHEM!! However, that’s a difficult task. How can we increase those odds? How can we make it easier? We Jews like to take short cuts, we want instant results. There is no such a thing as a bank line in Israel, or any line for that matter! Well, if we are sensitive and meticulous enough, one can really make inroads in getting through to the Almighty. It should be noted, in some Siddurim the name of G-d differs in its spelling and punctuation. Every name of G-d has different and distinct powers. They are also unique as to how they manifest themselves in the world. For example, the Friday night Shabbat Kiddush has seventy two words which represent SHEFFA-abundance. This is the reason why we overflow the Kiddush cup- to symbolize an abundance of brachot. Kiddush on Friday night has tremendous powers and, if said correctly, can have a lasting effect throughout the week. Another example is the Amida (Shemonai Esrai) which we say three times daily. The prayer starts off with G-d’s name A–D–O–N–A–I. Why does it start with that particular name? If one notices in that name there is the word DIN-which represents harsh judgment. The first part of the word is A which is a softener to soften the judgment. In essence we say, “Please soften my DIN – judgment”, make it sweet so that I can start the most important prayer of the day and penetrate your heart.

 

In this week’s Parsha, G-d reveals himself to Moshe in a different state, a different distinct power. Most of the commentaries agree that G-d’s revelation to Moshe was on a higher level than how he appeared to our forefathers. “I am  Yud-Kay-Vuv-KAY (G-d)(6:2); to our forefathers he appeared as Kel-Shakay (6:3). He had not communicated with them face to face, rather only in an unclear fashion that the Sages refer to as “a clouded lens”. G-d wished to redeem the Jewish people in the fashion of revealing himself fully, addressing them face to face, as He in fact did latter at the splitting of the sea and at the Sinai revelation. Moshe saw concretely what others could not. Since he was destined to give over the Torah, it was necessary that his prophetic revelation be clear. Puzzles and riddles would not have enabled him to convey the Torah’s message, for the Torah must be open and clear to all. Therefore, Yud-Kay-Vuv-KAY was needed. This name has many powers; the one that is most famous is its connotation of RACHAMIM-mercy. Here we are informed that it means an intense revelation of His numerous powers. Our sages point out in the Amida that “HAKEL, HAGIBOR, VEH HANORA”, which describes G-d, in essence equals to Yud-Kay-Vuv-KAY.

 

Second Portion: * As an introduction to the start of the describing of the redemption, the genealogy of the tribe of Levi, who Moshe and Aharon are from, is listed. Everything in life is timing, as is evident in the Midrash (the Scriptures) that describes an incident with a member of the tribe of Benyamin who mistakenly calculated the redemption to come earlier than expected. They escaped Egypt only to be ambushed and killed in the desert by the Plishtim.

 

Third Portion: * Moshe, along with Aharon who accompanied Moshe because of his inability to speak properly, are instructed by G-d to go to Pharaoh and demand to let the Israelites go. G-d mentions “I will harden his heart and he will not let you out, then I will show my mighty hand”. The famous question is asked, “Where is the freedom of choice that was given to Pharaoh?” What do you mean “harden his heart?” If one ponders the ten plagues that befell Egypt, forcing them to let the Jews go, it seems that that’s not freedom of choice. That’s twisting their arms and demanding: “free them'”. It looks like excessive force to me and not freedom of choice!! We learn a fascinating insight; G-d hardened Pharaoh’s abilities to withstand the torture of the plagues so that he can make a balanced and weighed decision. Hardening the heart was projected on Pharaoh so that he can have the freedom. Pharaoh however, chose to enslave them even though he saw his own Egyptians being punished for his decision.

 

Fourth portion: * G-d punishes the Egyptians with the ten plagues. If one notices, the plagues occurred in various forms. Some came from the sky, some affected the water, the land, the animals, the air and lastly, the humans. This was to show that G-d commands all aspects of life.

 

*The Egyptians used the Nile for idolatry. Therefore, it was through and in the Nile that the first punishment took place.

 

* G-d then instructed Moshe to tell Aharon to raise his hand and bring upon the second plague, frogs.

 

Fifth Portion: * One big frog came and opened its mouth and a swarm of frogs emerged from its mouth all over Egypt. This is the original source for all those horror movies! Rashi says that the more one hit it, the more frogs come out of its mouth. The sages ask, “Wouldn’t it be wise to just stop hitting it, then nothing will come out?” The Steipler Gaon (R’ Yaakov Yisroel Kanievsky) answers, human nature is such that when we’re caught up in a frenzy, we forget to think. We tend to forget what we are trying to accomplish. So the frogs just kept on coming.

 

* G-d hardened Pharaoh’s heart and he would not let them go.

 

* G-d instructed Moshe to tell Aharon to raise his rod on the earth and bring forth the lice.

 

Sixth Portion: * Pharaoh still did not give in. Aharon, following the instructions from G-d through Moshe, brought upon wild beasts.

 

* The sixth plague was the death of the Egyptians’ livestock.

 

* The seventh plague was boils. The heat caused inflammation which erupted into blisters.

 

Seventh Portion: * Hail was number seven. It came with thunder. The thunder frightened Pharaoh more than anything else, for the Sages teach that thunder was created to purge the perversion of the heart. Throughout the narrative of the plagues, thunder was mentioned before the hail because it was the thunder that frightened the Egyptians and made them susceptible to the terror that would be inspired by the hail.

 

* Throughout these plagues, Pharaoh was pleading for Moshe to stop them, but soon after G-d hardened his heart and would not let the Israelites go.

Hitting the Rock

August 1, 2013 The Gift of Speech No comments
 

The children of Israel screamed out, ‘We want water! We want water!’ Where thereafter, Moshe took the stick and hit the rock resulting in water streaming out. ‘Why did you hit the rock?’ G-d asked disappointingly. The Sages were unclear what exactly was G-d’s commandment to Moshe, the leader of the Jewish people. Was Moshe commanded to speak to the rock whereby instead he hit it? Or the fact that G d instructed Moshe to take his stick, presumably, indicates He may have wanted him to hit it. This is the question in which Rav Henoch Leibowitz z’l of Yeshiva Chafetz Chaim presents. Was the commandment to ‘speak’ or ‘hit’ the rock?

  We know Moshe was punished for this incident and was prohibited to enter the land of Israel – something that he desired greatly. Despite praying and pleading with G-d before he died, his quest to pilgrimage with the rest of the Jewish people to Israel was denied. The answer to this question is both. Moshe was commanded to speak to the Israelites first, in front of the rock, and to announce G-d’s great miracle in a thunderous way. It will take place through His trusted servant who will perform the task by hitting it. However, Moshe and Aharon merely said, ‘Listen up; we will now draw water from the rock by hitting it’. Moshe and Aharon had to be clearer and emphasize the wondrous hand of G-d, that this was a momentous moment. Therefore because they weren’t clear, G-d rebuked them, stating ‘you did not believe in me.’ But isn’t it clear and pretty obvious that G-d commanded Moshe. The Israelites knew Moshe was His faithful servant and every breath, every step , which was taken, was done with G-d’s signature. I mean -really – it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out G-d is pushing the controls.
Perhaps the Torah is trying to teach us an important lesson about ourselves. Man has a much higher impression and a stronger feeling when the information he receives is straightforward and clear (stating G-D DID IT!). However, if the message is trickled down by hints, it doesn’t have the same effect; it’s not impactful. Therefore, when G-d said ‘you are not believers in enhancing my ambiance in the eyes of the children of Israel’. By Moshe and Aharon not elaborating their action, they caused a decreased spiritual force in the world. The result of the ‘hint’ weakened the impression that it was G-d who made the water come out from the rock. G-d gave us the gift of speech; something animals lack, and it’s our obligation to express ourselves properly. We all heard of the expression ‘words penetrate the heart’. The sages say there is no comparison between hearing, which has a stronger effect than seeing. G-d set the stage for Moshe to infuse his awareness upon the Israelites; he had to articulate with his speech what G-d planned to do. Think of it as an announcer describing an exciting baseball game. The announcer has to be gifted in describing the game and keeping the fans, tuned in and interested. I have an aunt living in Israel who would always talk very positively about the land and the Jewish people. Every time we come across a positive experience, she would comment, ‘You see, you don’t need to go to America. You have America here.’ She would verbally describe every experience and make it seem adventurously fun. My aunt has a gifted knack to use her words to the fullest ….. Unfortunately, Moshe missed that precious opportunity. We have to learn from this incident that G-d bestowed upon man the precious gift of speech and it’s our responsibility to utilize it to the best of our ability.