Tag Archive for Avimelech

THE PERSONAL LIVES OF GREAT LEADERS

May 19, 2016 Uncategorized No comments
his article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Berrel Wien , Yossi Bilus, Asher Hertzberg, Jay Shapiro, Yitzchak Frankfuter, Abba Goldman


The first lady Jacqueline Kennedy was very much a private person.  When she went on mini vacation her husband, the President, decided to have a public photo shoot with the kids….opposite attract
One advocate of a dethroned leader complained “How can you disclose embarrassing information about our great leader?” The reply was, “Why not? He has committed himself to the public, therefore he has exposed everything about himself to the world. Nothing is private anymore for him. He’s fair game! A public figure has no right privacy.”

However that is insane!! It’s a recipe for disaster for any leader or public figure, or really anyone for that matter, as we all have skeletons in our closet. No one is ‘squeaky clean perfect’ and if someone happens to actually be the “white puritan”, frankly my dear, that would constitute abnormality and would be considered a freak of nature.

Does the reader agree?
Perhaps the reply of “a public figure has no privacy” is rooted in this week’s parsha. In parshat Emor, it teaches us special laws and obligations that the Torah places upon the High Priest, he Kohen Gadol. He is limited in his marriage choices, his bereavement behavior and in other matters of seemingly personal life. Is it not sufficient that he perform his duties – especially his detailed Yom Kippur duties – in a competent and efficient manner? After all, is not one entitled to a private and personal life, even if one holds high public office? Apparently the Torah does not feel so. Being the High Priest is not a job. It is not even what our non-Jewish friends refer to as “a calling.” It is rather a position of moral leadership and a role model stature in Jewish life. What is the lesson involved in these restrictions and guidance of the High Priest?

The scrutinizing of the High Priest has may have been a springboard for all leaders thought history to be hounded and examined with a magnified glass, but in truth there is no comparison between the High Priest and other leaders. That is because the High Priest’s chief scrutinizer is none other than G-d. Evidence of this is that if he has skeletons in his closet, G-d will smite him on Yom Kippur.

As explained by the historian Rabbi Berel Wein: One of the signs of corruption that doomed the Second Temple Commonwealth of Judea (Bais Sheni) was the unethical behavior of many of the High Priests who served in the Temple during that period of Jewish history. The Talmud teaches us that many of them died when entering the Holy of Holiness because of their unworthy private behavior. There where Kohanim that seemingly had the confidence of the people however “G-d examines the hearts.” He determines which Kohen Gadol is worthy and moral. For this reason a rope was attached to their leg so they can be pulled out in case they perish. Nobody but the Kohen Gadol is allowed in the Holies of Holies.

The public figure, the leader has been the object of the paparazzi and the National Enquirer ever since.

A question is posed: With the exception of Kohen Gadol, is it fair to judge personal behavior of a leader, such as Rabbi, head of State, or congressmen to determine if they are suitable for such a lofty position? Shouldn’t we look at other factors – economic issues, issues concerning our rights to live as Orthodox Jews, religious freedom, and liberty issues? There are issues that relate to bringing resources into our communities. There are other issues, too. Who services the constituency best? Who is most likely to be responsive to individual phone calls for assistance on individual matters? Aren’t these issues just as important as morality?

We need to look where the leader stands on other issues, such as the resource issues, the economic issues, the religious liberty issues, and accessibility. You have to judge a candidate based on the totality of the situation. Though moral issues are certainly a relevant factor, they are not the only factor.

THE MORAL ISSUE
Reflecting what we discussed earlier, morality is the classic Jewish tradition of picking a leader. Interestingly, there was clever message conveyed by a Politian (scholar) who felt the importance, or for that matter non-importance, of the moral issue: “The Jewish children in exile were always dependent on intermediaries to represent their interests in the countries where they sojourned…. Such an intermediary is nothing more than a messenger. No one ever checked the morality of a messenger, or was interested in his private life, as long as he gave the desired results-i.e., the proper representation of Jewish interests.”

That was the language of an ad that ran in Der Yid, a Satmar paper based in Williamsburg, during a re-election campaign for Fred Richmond, the congressional representative for Williamsburg during the late ’70s and early ’80s. Richmond had a depraved personal life; the ad was promoting the idea that the chassidic readers of the paper, who were so careful in their own lives about any hint of immorality, should overlook Richmond’s immorality because he was helping the community with its needs. The ad was obviously countering those who had objected to Richmond on those grounds.

RESPECT
Dr. Abba Goldman mentions the number one factor is that the leader has to earn the respect of the people. Perhaps, he says it might override in some instances the morality importance.

King David didn’t care about his honor by dancing with the Torah; he did it for the sake of G-d. Michal, his wife, who witnessed this, didn’t think it was dignified to do so. She thought it was unbecoming that the king dance and show a glimpse of his legs. The act shows a disregard for modesty and would hamper the respect and dignity of the King. Nevertheless, G-d was honored by David’s devotion and Michal was punished for criticizing. It’s not an easy understanding for Michal’s train of thought was in line with her father, Shaul’s, philosophy of modesty and respect.

Not with standing, one sees at what degree our ancestors value modesty and respect of a leader. Here is another example pertaining do King David again: When Shimi ben Gerah insulted King David the incident was not forgotten. On his death bed the King instructs his son Shlomo to “do what is right”. At the end Shimi ben Gerah was executed and the King’s honor had been defended.

Dr. Goldman and many relates that the blame and failure of 9/11 should be pointed to the Clinton administration. A year before, there was a terrorist attack against the United States Navy guided-missile destroyer USS Cole (DDG-67) on 12 October 2000, while it was harbored and being refueled in the Yemeni port of Aden. 17 American sailors were killed, and 39 were injured. This event was the deadliest attack against a United States Naval vessel since 1987. The terrorist organization al-Qaeda claimed responsibility for the attack. Clinton had such a poor relationship with congress following the Lewinsky debacle that any proposal including how to deal with Al Quade would and did go on deaf ears. Congress had no respect for the President and in turn he was ineffective.

Part of the blame has to be directed to the press for reporting and making a mockery of the Clinton/Lewinsky incident. Interestingly, John F Kennedy was just as immoral as Clinton, however he was an effective President. The press never reported his indecency even though it was occurring regularly in the White House.

Can one imagine if they did report the indecency and made light of the President? Does one think Cuba, neighboring communist country at the time, would have backed down and pulled their missiles?

As an example, in Syria, before the civil war there, it was a crime to make fun of the president of the country. No comedian was immune. This concept was taken to an extreme where no one was permitted to laugh in Nevuchadnetzar’s Babylonia, for the king had an inferiority complex and thought they were laughing at him for being short. It was ‘respect through fear’ that these leaders tried to force on their people. Seemingly respect is needed to have an effective leader. Astonishingly, respect is what Ronald Reagan received without the use of force and with the late night comedians whose job it was to ridicule politicians and the establishment.

One of our beloved leaders who had to admit an embarrassing moment in his private life was Yehuda, Yaakov’s son. Even though his act was considered lowly, Yehuda admitted and faced up to his guilt and was hailed in high regards for doing so by his brothers and by G-d. He took responsibility for his action. Yehuda is a prime example of “nobody’s an angel, but be a man and pick up the pieces”. For reward for his admission he and his genealogy were appointed royalty, leaders of the Jewish people forever

ABILITY TO GET ALONG
Some say there are more crucial character traits we should look for then to poke into the private life of a candidate. One of the aspects of a good leader is the ability to get along with others. This character trait is a must when dealing with subordinates, heads of state and so forth. In the up and coming election, there happens to be such a person. One has to ask can he make rational decisions if he has constantly dismissing and berating everyone. Can his subordinates do the optimal best in their field dealing with such mental abuse?

NIXON AND RABBI AVIGDOR MILLER

In the late 60’s many religious Jew broke from the mold and voted Republican. Although, the Democrats supported Jewish cause and education the Jewish Rabbinical leaders including Rabbi Avigdor Miller were vocal in voting for Nixon. “Don’t make calculations concerning the yeshivas – it’s not a concern because the Ribbono Shel Olam feeds and gives sustenance to all. Don’t rely on princes. They are not a source of parnassah. G-d has many messengers. The reason to vote” – this was even with Nixon – “is because Nixon is against Russia, and Russia was the enemy of Hashem. It says, ‘Ohavei Hashem sinu ra.’ Comunist were atheist. [Those who love Hashem hate evil.]’ He said, ‘I have no love lost for Nixon or for any of them, but when I come to shamayim, they’ll ask, “Did you stand on my side?”

Rabbi Avigdor Miller said that when we vote, we vote the same way. He said, ‘I’m not afraid of Russia personally. The President, who is against Russia, is against them for his own reasons, because they are the Big Bad Wolf and they are having an arms race with nuclear ballistic missiles. Our interest has nothing to do with that. We’re not afraid of them; we just have to stand against them because they are kofrim [deniers] in Hakadosh Baruch Hu.’ That was his position.

It is important to note many clarify the moral issue: not so much the moral personal life of the candidate but what does he/she morally stand for. Perhaps that is the moral issue!! This brings us to the other prime candidate of this election. Perhaps it’s commendable that she had taken the abuse and humiliation of her husband and stuck with the marriage, however does she approve of same sex marriage and abortion, which is directly against the Torah?

Traditionally Jews in this country have always voted Democrat for they help financially to our Yeshivas. We value a Torah education which is our prime directive. However the Democrats of today are in favor of same sex marriage and abortion, someplace they weren’t 20 years ago. It seems like though todays Republicans are yesterday’s Democrats.

We can learn much from the two king that Avraham and Sarah visited. Both were immoral. Avimelech did everything in secret while Pharoah was not discreet and shameful, he did everything in the open.

On the last meeting between Avraham and Pharaoh, Pharaoh suggested something to Avraham which the latter acknowledged “This place is not for you.” In other words, we have different moral values. Perhaps, we should take some of the suggestions of some of the prominent Rabbis who denounced President Clinton. If he can do what he did and not feel remorse, it’s time we should depart this country. However there are those that say “Let’s remember we are in a non-Jewish state, what do you expect?

We see that although traditionally the primary decision on a leader was the moral issue many Rabbi’s or heads of communities look for other factors in picking a leader. Perhaps yes or perhaps not the private lives of leaders is best be left alone and not disclosed there are other important issues? That is a hot debate in today’s times.

The Power of Publicity – Displaying a Kiddush Hashem

March 23, 2016 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of
Rabbi’s  Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilius

“WILL YOU WEAR THIS IN PUBLIC”

I once asked a friend why he doesn’t wear a kippa. After all, I argued, you keep Shabbat, kashrut and the basic mitzvot. He answered “I don’t want to be scrutinized for everything I do. If I don’t have the kippa on my head, I can do whatever I want, wherever I want and whenever I want to”. In other word he is relinquishing responsibilities. That is, he is relinquishing the responsibilities of being a Jew.

Is he correct? Should we hide our Jewishness or should we display it? Of course not! We are the chosen people and have a task to show and teach the world G-dly concepts. A study was taken a number of years ago as to which nation is most frequently displayed on the front page stories of the New York Times, a leading national news circulation. With the exception of the United States, Israel and Jewish related stories came in number two after US. We are scrutinized to no end, even though we don’t ask for it. Why? Because we are Jews. So if we are in the limelight any way, why don’t we control how we are perceived; it might benefit us to act like the fine role models we are supposed to be.

Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky zt”l recounted that when he was a Rabbi in Lithuania before World War 2, he was asked a question by a resident of his community. The man had purchased stamps from the local post office, and had received more stamps that he had paid for. For such a poor man, the extra stamps were no trifle matter. Nonetheless, Rav Kaminetsky suspected that perhaps the postal clerk was testing the rabbi. This suspicion was confirmed a short time later when the clerk gave him too much change. The rabbi returned the extra money. Many years after the Nazis came and destroyed the community, the rabbi heard that this clerk had saved many Jews, testifying that he tested everybody to assess their honesty, the only trustworthy people were the Jews! This teaches us that in addition to the obligation to be honest and avoid thievery, a Jew must be extra vigilant to bring about a Kiddush Hashem.
The Gemara [Bava Metziah 87a] describes that Avraham made a party to mark the occasion of the weaning of Yitzchak, to which he invited all the great men of the generation. Avraham Avinu was not just a private citizen. He was society’s primary proponent of monotheism. He rejected the pagan idols of the rest of the world and proclaimed the existence of a Master of the Universe.

Avraham Avinu wanted to sanctify the Name of G-d (Kiddush Hashem) and publicize the great miracle that G-d did for him. Avraham made this big celebration for just that purpose, but the cynics that were sitting there were having a field day. They joked that Yitzchak could not possibly be Avraham’s child. Sarah must have become pregnant from Avimelech. “She lived many decades with Avraham and had not become pregnant from him. ” We all know how it goes: A roll of the eyes, a twist of the nose, a mocking smile.

Even though Avraham fathered a child with Hagar, cynicism does not need to be precise or accurate. The effect of a “one-liner” is basically that of a pin. In just one moment, the balloon bursts. The “press” will write it up. The fact that anyone with intelligence who thinks about this for 30 seconds will recognize it as nonsense is irrelevant. The damage has already been done. Such is the power of leitzanut – mockery.

In response, G-d made a miracle, and made Yitzchak’s face look exactly like Avraham’s. Why did G-d respond in such a miraculous fashion to counteract this false type of mocking?

Who cares what these idiots say. One can simply say “I’m bigger then that. I don’t need to respond.” However, allowing this “momentary bursting” of the “balloon of Kiddush Hashem” would have defeated Avraham’s entire purpose in making the party. Thus, G-d needed to make a miracle to restore the inspirational nature of this festive meal.
We see a powerful example from this week’s Parsha. At the end of the Parsha, Bo, we have a Mitzvah to “Sanctify for Me (G-d) all the first born…” [Shemot 13:2] The first born of human beings and animals are holy to G-d. Why? Because G-d passed over Egypt on the night of Pesach and killed the first born of the Egyptians while sparing the first born of Israel. Is that a reason for the first born to be invested with a holiness which lasts until today?

The answer can be found is an interesting letter which Rabbi Yissachar Frand obtained from Rav Simcha Zissel from Kelm to Baron Rothschild. Rabbi Frand frequently quotes Rav Simcha Zissel. Baron Rothschild, as we all know, was a fantastically wealthy person who put his money to good use. He helped thousands and thousands of Jews. The Alter from Kelm writes the following to Baron Rothschild:

“I want to express my gratitude to you for all the generous and kind acts, which you have done for the entire Jewish people. Do not suspect, Heaven forbid, that I am coming with my own request for funds. However, in my humble opinion, I have to express my sense of gratitude for all that you have done to help the Jewish people. You are a person who stands before Kings and nevertheless you do not forget from where you came, and therefore maintain your support for Jewish needs. This is a great Sanctification of G-d’s Name and your reward is very great. Based on legal obligation (al pi din), I feel I have to express my thanks, honor, and appreciation to such an individual and to such a Sanctification of G-d’s name.”

Then the Alter from Kelm continues… “Think for a minute. The Halacha was to have been that the First Born was to have done the Service in the Temple. Had it not been for the sin of the Golden Calf, the Bechorim [first born] would have served G-d in the Beis HaMikdash, instead of the Kohanim. Why? Because they were passed over on that night of Pesach. As a result, until this very day there is sanctity of the first born. Not only does this sanctity apply to the first born of a human, but even to the first born of an animal.”

Rav Simcha Zissel asks, “Why? What did the Bechorim do, that made them holy?” They were merely passive. They were born first and therefore were saved by G-d, when He killed the first born. So what? What did the first born do that would have made them holier than a regular person, and fit for the Temple Service until this very day?

Rav Simcha Zissel answers, that they participated — albeit passively — in a Sanctification of G-d’s Name. When G-d, in his Own Glory came into Egypt and killed the Egyptian first born while sparing the Jewish first born, that was a tremendous Kiddush HaShem. That may have been the greatest manifestation of G-d’s power, up to that that point in history.

The first born, passively aided and abetted this great Kiddush HaShem. A person who even passively helps to create a Sanctification of G-d’s name, has a very great reward… to the extent that even today a first born is holy. Why? Because thousands of years ago the Bechorim ‘helped’ make a Kiddush HaShem.

“If this is the reward for a person who passively helps in a Kiddush Hashem, how can we begin to contemplate,” says the Alter from Kelm, “what the reward is of a person that actively goes and makes a Kiddush Hashem?”

“Therefore, you, Baron Rothschild, considering who you are and what you have done, have actively and publicly Sanctified G-d’s Name. Therefore, the greatest honor, respect and sense of Hakarat HaTov is due to you, merely by virtue of this fact.”

This is the lesson from the parsha of Bechor. Even passively helping create a Kiddush HaShem is a tremendous zechut [merit]. How much more of a Kiddush HaShem are we creating, when, in our daily lives, the way we act, the way we talk, the way we negotiate, the way we deal in business and the way we act among people –Jew and non-Jew alike — Sanctifies G-d’s Name?

If we use opportunities to go out of our way to make that Kiddush HaShem; if we say that extra “Good Morning,” if we are assiduously honest; if we go the extra mile to make that Kiddush Hashem so that they can say about us “You are my Servant, Israel, through whom I will be Glorified” [Yeshaya 49:3]; that they can say upon us “How pleasant are his ways” [Talmud Yoma 86a]; how beautiful are the ways of a religious Jew; then, as the Alter from Kelm writes, our reward will be very great.
There are times when one does a mitzvah to the fullest with the deepest commitment and through his action brings out Kiddush Hashem. I would like to illuminate such a case with a fellow named Rabbi Yosef Gutfarb. Rabbi Yosef was a New Yorker who moved to Jerusalem, Israel. He made an undertaking that he will always pray with a minyan.

We Jews pray 3 times a day and the optimal prayer conducted is with a minyan, which consists of at least 10 men present. Kadish may also only be recited in the presence of 10 men.

It can be quite challenging for one to get up early in the morning, in the heat or cold, and attend prayer services.

What is dedication?

What does it mean to pass a tough test?

If someone enters a freezing cold car at 6:15 in the morning, in the dead of winter, just to get to minyan; now that’s dedication!! Mankind has not figured out an inexpensive way to have the car heating system working so that it’s hot intently. No one looks forward for the car in the early morning experience. It is equally challenging to pry yourself from the middle of an important business transactions and attend the afternoon services. One can get really involved in their career. Furthermore, evening services are not any easier after a long and hard day at work. Nevertheless Rabbi Yosef soldiered his way through three decades, whether on business trips all around the world or any sort of unexpected pop-ups; he did not miss a beat of Kadish or one amen of a minyan!!…Talk about longevity!! Hmm, did someone give Rabbi Yosef the evil eye?

One night Rav Yosef came home after 3:00am and he had not yet prayed the evening services. Since in Shaufat the last minyan is at 11:00pm he calculated he would go to the next town over to search for a minyan. He was confident he would catch one in Zichron Moshe where there was a shul (Bet Hakneset) there, known to be a minyan factory. A minyan factory is a place where there are rooms throughout the building, where there is always a minyan at any time of day or night; how convenient is that?

Well mazal was a little difficult that night and to his dismay only one other person was waiting. “Do you think anybody else will come?” he inquisitively asked.

“Why are you saying Kadish? Are you an Avel-mourning the loss of a loved one?” the man questioned.

“No, I just made a commitment many years ago to not to miss a minyan” he replied. “How could this be? There is always a minyan here!” he nervously thought. What to do? What to do?

“I got it!!”

Rav Yosef then called a taxi company and asked if eight cabs can come to Zichron Moshe Shul (Bet Hakneset). “Only Israeli drivers” he added emphatically.

The dispatcher retorted back, “I don’t have eight taxies at three in the morning.”

“How many do you have?” Rav Yosef asked. “Only five” the dispatcher replied.

“Fine, send them quickly please: don’t forget only Israeli drivers!!”

Rav Yosef called another taxi company and asked for three Israeli drivers. The dispatcher said they would come in a few minutes.
The eight cabs all lined up and got out of their cars thinking they came at a tail end of some kind of party. To their dismay they found only Rabbi Yosef and the gentleman.

Rav Yosef told the drivers to turn off their cars and enter the shul “we’re going to pray the evening services, I need a minyan”. He explained his strange appeal by saying, “I haven’t missed a minyan in
years”.

The drivers, surprised but intrigued, obliged to the bizarre request.

They all could read Hebrew but not all were familiar with the protocol of tefila -prayer. Some had kippas-skull caps in their pockets, some in their glove compartment in their taxies.

After the prayer Rav Yosef took out his wallet to pay the drivers.

All the drivers, one by one refused to take the money. They were all stunned by the audacity of this American Jew who went to great lengths to fulfill his commitment for the sake of praying with a minyan. So impressed by the 15 minute prayer, many of the drivers thanked Rav Yosef for an uplifting spiritual experience. Many told him they have never had such a strong feeling when they prayed like this one time. Some said they haven’t prayed in a while and were honored to participate. They were all glad to have the opportunity to pray with such a person.

That’s a Kiddush Hashem and, more importantly, that’s the power of a Kiddush Hashem.

Intellect vs Emotions
This article was comprised using thoughts from  Chidushay Halev by Rav Henoch Liebowitz z’l
On the morning of Rosh Hashanah, Rivka [Rebecca] went into the bedroom to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready to go to the synagogue [Shul], to which he replied in a dull voice, “I’m not going.”
“Why not?” Rivka demanded. “I’ll give you two good reasons, Mother.” he said. “One, they don’t like me, and two, I don’t like them.”  Rivka replied in an exasperated voice, “I’ll give you two good reasons why you must go to the synagogue. One, you’re 54 years old, and two, you’re the Rabbi.”
Rabbi’s are people too.  No one is immune; they  also can get sucked in to the emotions of their job.
If one knows a little American history. Henry Kissinger was the  Secretary of State back in the 1970’s under President Richard Nixon. He was considered by many as a very smart man. There was a popular joke about emotions and intellect involving the smartest man of his time:
Three people were on an airplane: Henry Kissinger, a boy scout, and a Rabbi. They will find out that the plane is in distress and will crash shortly. There are only two parachutes!! Henry Kissinger grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. So, the Rabbi goes to the boy scout ‘take the parachute. Son, I’m a lot older than you. You have a long life ahead of you. Please take the parachute. The boy laughs ‘Don’t worry, Rabbi. There are two left .The smartest man in the world just took my knapsack.’

           When situations are such that one is forced to make a decision with great deal of emotions involved, in this case facing life and death on the airplane, a greater amount mistakes will occur. The intellect has to have greater control over the emotions to have a good functional system.
           Desire is another emotion that can be devastating, even when one has time on his side; it’s a slow kill. If the desire is strong enough, then chances are it’s not governed by intellect. One may think he’s rational but it’s the emotion that stems from the desire that’s talking. What’s that expression? Don’t confuse me with the facts, I made my decision.

Rashi said Pharaoh refused to be humbled before G-d (Shemot 10:3). When the Egyptians began to enslave the Jews, Pharaoh rationalized that we can really use them and gain from their productivity. However, G-d had other plans and Pharaoh realized himself it wasn’t beneficial to enslave them. His advisers warned him also Egypt will be lost if the enslavement of the Jews continues. Their powerful G-d will destroy us. Pharaoh who was considered very smart knew that these plagues will destroy his kingdom. Yet his ego didn’t allow him to let them go.
But how does one understand Pharaohs behavior? Apparently, it should be the opposite. If Pharaoh was so concerned about his Honor and protect his ego, he would have let the Jews out the first chance he had knowing he’s going to lose his status and wealth. There’s no comparison; it’s a no-brainer. What’s at stake? Pharaoh can lower his head and let them go and still maintain his kingdom and perhaps a good chance of being considered a superpower. Or he would hold firm and continue to enslave the Israelites and inevitably his army would be destroyed and Egypt will never ever gain the glorified position it holds and Pharaoh would be labeled a fool by the world. Let’s not overlook that he sinned in front of G-d and will be accounted for it after his life is over.
             Why did he make such a decision? Isn’t it mind boggling?
              Pharaohs inflated ego was making the decisions. This desire, which stems from the heart, overrides the intellect. No matter how logical and factual the emotions block out the intellect where even the smartest man in the world will not make a rational decision. Even if his advisors are begging him to let them go and the plague are causing devastation, Pharaoh will feel confident that it’s the right choice. It’s a scary thought, how many decisions people make based on desire; desire for honor and women.
              People don’t realize that desire is an emotion because one can be seen as acting normal, however it influences us. When the desire is alleviated even briefly, one can realize the wrong decisions he has made and the time he wasted. The frightening aspect about desire even a most influential friend with sound advice may not be able to get through because his message will be blocked.

 

Do not covet your neighbor’s house, wife, car and state of the art barbecue grill

February 5, 2015 Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Pinchas Winston,  Yossi Bilus, Yissachar Frand, Noach Isaac Oelbaum     and Dr. Abba Goldman

The tenth of the Asserret HaDibrot [“Ten Commandments”] is Lo Tachmod: “Do not covet your neighbor’s house; do not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his slave, his donkey, his ox, or anything that belongs to your neighbor” [Shmot 20:13]. A person is not allowed to be jealous of his friend’s possessions.

There are three categories of expression — thought, speech and deed. In Jewish tradition, controlling one’s actions is the simplest level of self-control and observance. Speech is a little harder. Thought, such an internal, personal level of expression, is the hardest of all.

How is it possible to control one’s desires? It’s even more mindboggling that one would be violating the Torah if he is jealous of his friend’s purchase of a brand new car. Does that translate to us receiving severe punishment for the feeling? After all it’s a Torah violation and those are strict!! How can the Torah legislate against a person’s desires? It is very natural for a person driving a jalopy to be jealous of a person who has a new car and does not have to worry about leaking oil and whether the car will start each time he turns the key in the ignition.

If this is readily understandable in terms of our neighbor’s car, it is certainly understandable in terms of more meaningful things in life. We see other’s children more obedient, successful and perhaps accepting Jewish values more readily. Our perception is that our neighbors are living in bliss, happily married, while we look at our marriage as difficult. We see our neighbor’s families, we see their position, etc. How does the Torah command a person not to be jealous?

Granted, we learned in Torah 101 (beginner’s class) that desiring what others have is wrong. Everyone is tailor-made for his lot in life. G-d gives each one of us what we need materialistically and whom – wife, children, etc. (or lack of) – to make us better people. However that feeling, of desiring what our neighbor’s have, although diminished because of our Torah knowledge, is still apparent. What is the antidote so that we don’t desire other’s possessions, spouses etc.?

To be eighteen again is a wonderful thought. You have that youthful strength and energy but are now considered an adult though, by and large, you’re still supported by your fairly young parents. As a matter of fact, I’ve asked many men “What was the best years of your life?” and most guys of middle age, pointed to when they were young adults, before marriage years. Not that marriage is bad but it adds a huge responsibility of making a living – one might even label it the curse of Adam-ZE’AT APEHA-sweat of your brow.

A group of young adults were enjoying a cold wintery Sunday afternoon at Central Park when one of the young men spotted an attractive girl on the other side of the frozen lake. Being that age, when feelings for girls are at full bloom and difficult to control, the young man expressed his desire to put on his skates, which he had in his dufflebag so he could skate across the lake to meet that girl. Very often at that age one takes risks to satisfy one’s new found desires and tend to leap into situations, negating the danger involved, and so that’s exactly what he did.

As the young man was zooming half way across the lake, anticipating his conquest, he noticed a hole in the ice which he couldn’t manage to avoid and fell into the icy water. He immediately scraped at the ice with all his might; his life hanging in the balance.

From this parable we see the antidote for desire. As the young man anticipates his unfortunate doom, does he still have the desire for the girl across the lake? Fear has instantly grabbed this boy’s emotions. With the element of fear the young man sees, however briefly, the situation a bit more different and perhaps a bit more clearer. Gone is the desire; regret has set in. As a matter of fact, the word for fear in Hebrew is the same as the word for seeing – yireh. One sees with clarity; his perceptions are magnified when in fear. Perhaps, for this reason it is written in the Torah:
Now, Israel, what does G-d, your G-d, ask of you? Only to fear G-d, your G-d … (Devarim 10:12) These words are a central part of Moshe, our leader’s farewell address to the Jewish people on the last day of his life

The Talmud reiterates this point:

All is in the hands of Heaven except fear of Heaven, as it says, “Now, Israel, what does G-d, your G-d, ask of you? Only to fear ….” (Devarim 10:12) … Rebi Chanina said in the name of Rebi Shimon bar Yochai: The Holy One, Blessed is He, only has fear of G-d in His storehouse, as it says, “Fear of G-d is His storehouse” (Yeshayahu 33:6). (Brochot 33b)
Why is fear so important? Is it possible to manufacture fear? Ba’al Peor, one of the leading idols that people worshiped in Biblical times because of its rebellious streak against natural society (one would defecate on the idol), actually originated as a fear religion. When one is in tremendous fear what very frequently happens is loss of control of one’s bowel. This is how they worshiped their idol; by emotionally manufacturing the fear element.
Does one create that feeling when his neighbor’s child gives birth to a baby boy and he’s jealous? That’s insane!!
In order to understand how fear works let us examine a key element how we became a nation.

There were two people who led the Jewish midwives in going against Pharaoh’s orders of murdering the Jewish babies. Yocheved and Miriam possessed many beautiful character traits including, faith in G-d, kindness, an unwavering belief in a better future and courage in the face of adversity. But none of these traits is mentioned in the Torah. Instead the text tells us: “…it was because the midwives feared G-d that He made them houses” (Shemos 1:21) and “…the midwives feared G-d and they did not do as the king of Egypt spoke to them, and they caused the boys to live” (Shemos 1:17).

The “houses” – G-d’s reward to the midwives for their perfect fear of Him -were the dynasties of Priests (Kehunah) and Levites (Leviah) who served in the Temple, as well as Kings (Malchut), including the House of King David, for Yocheved and Miriam, respectively. Why is “fear of G-d” seen as the source of the midwives’ behavior and why is it considered so fundamental to the Jewish greatness they embody?

Our sages tell us that when a person leaves this world, G-d asks him six questions including, “were you honest in business, did you study Torah, did you wait for the Messiah?” If a person is on the level that he can truly respond “yes” to all six questions, he is then asked, “were you G-d-fearing?” If he says “no,” he is told that all six previous answers are worthless without the fear of G-d. This seems somewhat bewildering. Why are six accomplishments insignificant in the face of this one specific failure?

It’s important to add another element in order to truly understand the definition of fear. Let us examine the story of Avimelech, the king of Gerar who kidnapped Sarah, the wife of Avraham, our forefather, for himself after being told by Avraham that she was only his sister.
However, before he could lay a hand on her, G-d spoke to him and revealed her true status, which shook Avimelech up when he realized how close he had come to committing adultery. However, in his defense the Torah writes:

Avimelech had not approached her, so he said, “G-d, will you slay a nation even though it is righteous?” (Bereishis 20:4)
Righteous? How could he have called himself or his nation righteous? Even had Sarah really been Avraham’s sister, did she consent to being taken by Avimelech? Had Avraham agreed to her abduction? As Avraham later told an upset Avimelech, he had lied about Sarah:

“Because I said, `There is but no fear of G-d in this place and they will kill me because of my wife’.” (Bereishis 20:11)
But, how did Avraham know this? What had he seen during his short stay in such a booming metropolis that indicated to him that all that was missing from such an advanced place was yireh Shamayaim-fear of G-d?
This is what Rashi says Avraham asked Avimelech:

When a stranger arrives in a city, do people ask him about what he would like to eat or to drink, or do they ask him about his wife? (Rashi, Bereishis 20:11).
In other words, Avraham reproved Avimelech by saying:

“If your people are going to ask me about anything at all, it should be about my needs. If they ask about my relationship to the woman accompanying me, then it is evident that they are not G-d-fearing people! G-d-fearing people act in a Godly manner, and if they do not, then you know they will do whatever they want to achieve their own goals, including kill me for my wife.”
Thus, according to Rashi, it is fear of G-d that allows one to put the requirements of others before their own personal needs. Hence the verse, regarding Yocheved and Miriam, says:

The midwives feared G-d, and disobeyed the king of Egypt, saving the children. (Shemos 1:17)
This is the underlying reason it explicitly stated that the mid-wives feared G-d!!
However what does the fear of G-d have to do with doing good to others? One of the key elements in fearing G-d is respect for his creation. This is perfectly illustrated by this parable:

When the king’s son is amongst the people everybody will give him the utmost respect because if not, it will be reported to the king. Then they will pay the consequences. He can be the biggest brat and still the people have to treat him in the most delicate way. Everyone is born with a mission in life and has the stamp of the king. The fear of the heavens will keep your relationships in check and your eyes to yourself. Your friends and neighbors are the King’s children. As long as we have fear of the heavens then there will be clarity, a vision untainted by desires.

Hence, what transpires is that if one has fear of G-d he will eventually have respect for his fellow man. There will be no jealousy out of fear. That covers both sides of the 10 commandments. One through five, the first side, is between man and G-d. Six to ten is between Man and his relationship with his fellow man.
For this reason G-d proclaimed “Now, Israel, what does G-d, your G-d, ask of you? Only to fear ….”

Parshat Vayeira

October 27, 2013 G-d and Us, Highlights on the Weekly Parsha, Jewish Values No comments
 First Portion
* We would like to believe we are not the same people we were years ago. Everyone would state, they have matured, been educated and have learned from life’s experiences. This is the general attitude of humans. Well, I hope we have matured and become better people. It’s frustrating to see those that have not.

In this weeks parsha our forefather Avraham’s status has been elevated. This is evident by the level of communication between G-d and Avraham. Its clear from the KAVOD that G-d has given Avraham by visiting that Avraham has evolved to a complete and upstanding individual. We learn some very important lessons from this section. First lesson we learn is visiting the sick, which G-d did by approaching Avraham after Avraham followed G-d’s commandment and circumcised himself. The one being afflicted is revitalized by the visit. Secondly, hospitality is of great importance; Avraham in great pain from his circumcision, still managed to accept guest with tremendous enthusiasm.

We see the relationship between G-d and Avraham is now on a higher level because of the circumcision. When G-d revealed himself to the non-Jewish prophet Bilam many years later, Bilam’s immediate reaction, peculiarly, was of great embarrassment for not being circumcised. It seams like there’s a connection between high level of spirituality and circumcision. Rabbi Baruch Dopelt asks why do we say at a brit ” just like he (this boy) has entered a covenant with G-d today so too will he be able to enter the threshold of Torah and mitzvot”? Why don’t we say it when he’s born? After all a Jew is a Jew circumcised or not. The Mystics say by having the brit and its ceremony spiritual energies are infused into the boy. These are the tools necessary to be able to comprehend the Torah in a different realm..There are also thirteen times, in last weeks parsha Lech Lecha where G-d mentions his covenant with Avraham. This is to offset the thirteen attributes of G-d. The Thirteen attributes of G-d is mentioned on Yom Kippur and is a focal point in our quest for forgiveness. It can only be applied if the Jew is circumcised. Rabbi Pesach Krohn teaches us with the infused energy that the boy gets at the brit comes a name. A name defines the task that this boy will do in life. This is the reason Avraham’s name was changed the day he was circumcised.

* “Where is Sarah your wife?” Oh, she’s in the tent”. From here we learn an importance lesson pertaining to women “modesty is a virtue”.

* “How can we have kids my husband is so old” Sarah proclaimed. What about you Sarah, you’re no spring chicken either?

Here we see an ongoing occurrence in human nature. It’s the spouse that’s blamed for everything. If only we can appreciate our spouse and realize their good qualities we would have better marriages
* An important lesson is learned about keeping peace between husband and a wife. G-d altered the truth when he approached Avraham about what Sarah said. He asked Avraham; ” why did Sarah laugh and say how can we have kids, I’m so old”. In saying Sarah is old as opposed to what Sarah actually said – “my husband’s old”, Avrahams feelings weren’t hurt and it preserved peace between the couple. One has permission to alter the truth to preserve peace.

Second portion
* What compelled G-d to destroy the city of Sedom and Amora was an incident pertaining to one of Lott’s daughters. She once performed kindness and gave food to an old passer-by. Kindness, it seems, is against the law in Sedom. As punishment they hung her on a tree and spread honey all over her body and watched how she was tortured as the bees bit her to death. Her cries was the last straw that broke the camel’s back and propelled the all mighty to issue a death warrant to the entire city with the exception of Lot and his family.

Third Portion
* Although Lot had tremendous hospitality, a trait he learned from his uncle Avraham, never-the-less the fact that he offered his daughters as compensation not to harm his guest raises some eye brows

Fourth Portion
* Rabbi Moshe Feinstein relates a story when he was a young man about a colleague, who in one of his powerful sermons blamed Lot’s daughter for the despicable and immoral act of sleeping with their father. Add insult to injury one daughter named their offspring after the sin MO-AV, from the father. A while later Rav Moshe was informed that his friend is very ill. Upon visiting his friend, Rav Moshe was performing the commandment of visiting the sick, he sees that his friend’s throat is tremendously infected and can barely speak. ” Rav Moshe” the colleague said ” I know why I’m being punished. I had a dream shortly after one of my sermons. I was lying in bed and see two elderly woman standing besides me. It was Lott’s daughters. With a stern and angry tone of voice they accused me of slandering their name. They claimed they did the act out of complete sincerity and self sacrifice to preserve man-kind, figuring that civilization had been destroyed again. ” Instead of praising us you unfairly turned our deed and intentions into a sin, therefore you will pay with your life with punishment to your vocal cords”. Soon after Rav Moshe’s friend passed away. We learn never Judge anybody unless you’re in their shoes.

* Once again Avraham and Sarah marriage and morals are tested when Sarah was taken forcefully and brought to Avimelech the king of the Pilishtim. Avimelech intended on keeping Sarah for himself despite knowing that she might be Avraham’s wife. Although that information wasn’t clear. It didn’t require a rocket scientist to figure that Avraham and Sarah were more than a brother and sister.

* Because of Avraham and Sarah passing the test of the Avimelech incident (she had the opportunity to be Queen, and acqiure tremendous riches). However she chose loyalty to her husband. G-d said you preserved the test with the reproductive organ so I will reward you with a child through the reproductive organ. G-d rewarded them with their own child.

Fifth Portion
* It seemed Sarah was on a higher level then Avraham. Yishmael, who was Hagar the maid servant’s son (she had him with Avraham), was a bad influence on Yitzchak ( Avraham and Sarah son and the heir apparent to the Jewish nation). She demanded that Avraham send Hagar and her son Yishmael away. Avraham was faced with a difficult decision. What to do? Naturally he turned to G-d who advised him listen to your wife Sarah, She knows”. We learn here the importance of maintaining the right environment for your children and yourself.
Kids tend to be very impressionable so one has to surround them with the right school , nice neighborhood and proper role models at home.

Sixth Portion
*Avraham and Avimeloch make a treaty after Yitzchak was born.. As long as the descendants of Avimelech dwell on the land, no descendants of Avraham will wage war against them. This covenant was the reason later why Israel couldn’t capture Eastern part of Jerusalem. Avraham called the western part Yeru- to see G-d (holy place). Shalem, the eastern part was originally inherited by Noach’s son Shem. The name Shalem comes from Shem. In Yehoshua’s time the Philishtim lived in the Shalem, the eastern part. Although Yehoshua, the leader of the Israelites, conquered the western part, in honor of the treaty the Israelites refrained from entering the Eastern part. It wasn’t until the last descendant of Avimelech died after the time of Yehoshua did the children of Judeah took it.

Seventh portion
* The pride and Joy of the Jewish nation, the incident of the AKEDA which is so beloved by G-d. This is the primary weapon we use on Rosh Hashana to ask G-d for mercy and forgiveness
* The narrative prepares us for the next stage of life describing the future wife of Yitzchak, Rivka’s heritage.

Parshat Vayeira

September 8, 2013 Chessed/ Acts of Kindness, Hachnasat Orchim- Inviting Guests, Highlights on the Weekly Parsha, Jewish Values, Tzniut- Modesty No comments
First Portion
 

* We would like to believe we are not the same people we were years ago. Everyone would state, they have matured, been educated and have learned from life’s experiences. This is the general attitude of humans. Well, I hope we have matured and become better people. It’s frustrating to see those that have not.

In this weeks parsha our forefather Avraham’s status has been elevated. This is evident by the level of communication between G-d and Avraham. Its clear from the KAVOD that G-d has given Avraham by visiting that Avraham has evolved to a complete and upstanding individual. We learn some very important lessons from this section. First lesson we learn is visiting the sick, which G-d did by approaching Avraham after Avraham followed G-d’s commandment and circumcised himself. The one being afflicted is revitalized by the visit. Secondly, hospitality is of great importance; Avraham in great pain from his circumcision, still managed to accept guest with tremendous enthusiasm.

We see the relationship between G-d and Avraham is now on a higher level because of the circumcision. When G-d revealed himself to the non-Jewish prophet Bilam many years later, Bilam’s immediate reaction, peculiarly, was of great embarrassment for not being circumcised. It seams like there’s a connection between high level of spirituality and circumcision. Rabbi Baruch Dopelt asks why do we say at a brit ” just like he (this boy) has entered a covenant with G-d today so too will he be able to enter the threshold of Torah and mitzvot”? Why don’t we say it when he’s born? After all a Jew is a Jew circumcised or not. The Mystics say by having the brit and its ceremony spiritual energies are infused into the boy. These are the tools necessary to be able to comprehend the Torah in a different realm.There are also thirteen times, in last weeks parsha Lech Lecha where G-d mentions his covenant with Avraham. This is to offset the thirteen attributes of G-d. The Thirteen attributes of G-d is mentioned on Yom Kippur and is a focal point in our quest for forgiveness. It can only be applied if the Jew is circumcised. Rabbi Pesach Krohn teaches us with the infused energy that the boy gets at the brit comes a name. A name defines the task that this boy will do in life. This is the reason Avraham’s name was changed the day he was circumcised.
* “Where is Sarah your wife?” Oh, she’s in the tent”. From here we learn an importance lesson pertaining to women “modesty is a virtue”.
* “How can we have kids my husband is so old” Sarah proclaimed. What about you Sarah, you’re no spring chicken either? Here we see an ongoing occurrence in human nature. It’s the spouse that’s blamed for everything. If only we can appreciate our spouse and realize their good qualities we would have better marriages
* An important lesson is learned about keeping peace between husband and a wife. G-d altered the truth when he approached Avraham about what Sarah said. He asked Avraham; ” why did Sarah laugh and say how can we have kids, I’m so old”. In saying Sarah is old as opposed to what Sarah actually said – “my husband’s old”, Avrahams feelings weren’t hurt and it preserved peace between the couple. One has permission to alter the truth to preserve peace.
Second portion
* What compelled G-d to destroy the city of Sedom and Amora was an incident pertaining to one of Lott’s daughters. She once performed kindness and gave food to an old passer-by. Kindness, it seems, is against the law in Sedom. As punishment they hung her on a tree and spread honey all over her body and watched how she was tortured as the bees bit her to death. Her cries was the last straw that broke the camel’s back and propelled the all mighty to issue a death warrant to the entire city with the exception of Lot and his family.
Third Portion
* Although Lot had tremendous hospitality, a trait he learned from his uncle Avraham, never-the-less the fact that he offered his daughters as compensation not to harm his guest raises some eye brows
Fourth Portion
* Rabbi Moshe Feinstein relates a story when he was a young man about a colleague, who in one of his powerful sermons blamed Lot’s daughter for the despicable and immoral act of sleeping with their father. Add insult to injury one daughter named their offspring after the sin MO-AV, from the father. A while later Rav Moshe was informed that his friend is very ill. Upon visiting his friend, Rav Moshe was performing the commandment of visiting the sick, he sees that his friend’s throat is tremendously infected and can barely speak. ” Rav Moshe” the colleague said ” I know why I’m being punished. I had a dream shortly after one of my sermons. I was lying in bed and see two elderly woman standing besides me. It was Lott’s daughters. With a stern and angry tone of voice they accused me of slandering their name. They claimed they did the act out of complete sincerity and self sacrifice to preserve man-kind, figuring that civilization had been destroyed again. ” Instead of praising us you unfairly turned our deed and intentions into a sin, therefore you will pay with your life with punishment to your vocal cords”. Soon after Rav Moshe’s friend passed away. We learn never Judge anybody unless you’re in their shoes.
* Once again Avraham and Sarah marriage and morals are tested when Sarah was taken forcefully and brought to Avimelech the king of the Pilishtim. Avimelech intended on keeping Sarah for himself despite knowing that she might be Avraham’s wife. Although that information wasn’t clear. It didn’t require a rocket scientist to figure that Avraham and Sarah were more than a brother and sister.
* Because of Avraham and Sarah passing the test of the Avimelech incident (she had the opportunity to be Queen, and acqiure tremendous riches). However she chose loyalty to her husband. G-d said you preserved the test with the reproductive organ so I will reward you with a child through the reproductive organ. G-d rewarded them with their own child.
Fifth Portion
* It seemed Sarah was on a higher level then Avraham. Yishmael, who was Hagar the maid servant’s son (she had him with Avraham), was a bad influence on Yitzchak ( Avraham and Sarah son and the heir apparent to the Jewish nation). She demanded that Avraham send Hagar and her son Yishmael away. Avraham was faced with a difficult decision. What to do? Naturally he turned to G-d who advised him listen to your wife Sarah, ‘She knows”. We learn here the importance of maintaining the right environment for your children and yourself.
Kids tend to be very impressionable so one has to surround them with the right school, nice neighborhood and proper role models at home.
Sixth Portion
*Avraham and Avimelech make a treaty after Yitzchak was born.. As long as the descendants of Avimelech dwell on the land, no descendants of Avraham will wage war against them. This covenant was the reason later why Israel couldn’t capture Eastern part of Jerusalem. Avraham called the western part Yeru- to see G-d (holy place). Shalem, the eastern part was originally inherited by Noach’s son Shem. The name Shalem comes from Shem. In Yehoshua’s time the Philishtim lived in the Shalem, the eastern part. Although Yehoshua, the leader of the Israelites, conquered the western part, in honor of the treaty the Israelites refrained from entering the Eastern part. It wasn’t until the last descendant of Avimelech died after the time of Yehoshua did the children of Judeah took it.
Seventh portion
* The pride and Joy of the Jewish nation, the incident of the AKEDA which is so beloved by G-d. This is the primary weapon we use on Rosh Hashana to ask G-d for mercy and forgiveness
* The narrative prepares us for the next stage of life describing the future wife of Yitzchak, Rivka’s heritage.