Tag Archive for Avraham

Rosh Hashanah

 

ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE UPCOMING HOLIDAY SEASON? ARE YOU SCARED OF JUDGMENT DAY?  OR, DO YOU JUST WANT TO GET THEM OVER WITH?

Many Jews call these days YAMIM NORAIM – days of fear. We are correct to assume that’s an accurate statement considering the magnitude and the implications these holidays weigh and will weigh on our lives. Many American Jews call this period the High Holy days. This is more of a positive touch without the fear factor involved. Well, as a matter of fact, although it’s true that it’s a holy three weeks and we can elevate ourselves tremendously, nevertheless, even those Jewish Americans, who refer to these days of awe as High Holy days, would find it difficult digesting some of the things we read in our prayer books. An example of this would be, “You (G-d) make the decisions who will live and who will die; who will die by fire and who will die by water, etc.”. Even I, when I was a happy-go-lucky kid, who just wanted to play and did not have an inkling of a worry in the world, whose parents and their inner circle were young, therefore, having no experience with death, was taken aback by those words. Everyone would admit it’s scary stuff.  These holidays tend to infuse a reality check, and break up our fairy-tale lives. So it seems that a lot is at stake.

Therefore, we have to be smart, we have to ask ourselves “What’s the best way to have a good year and get in the book of life? How do we go about it? What’s the best method, percentage-wise for a successful sweet year? Should we have a businessman approach and get the best deal possible?” If we are desperate, maybe it would be wise to grab any deal!!

The lawyers are our Sages, who through the guidance of our Torah, comprised a three method plan to approach G-d on Rosh Hashanah. Our chachamim believe this formulation of prayer, which they added some salt and pepper to it, will enable us, if done right, to receive a good verdict. We will discuss Yom Kippur a bit later.

The Three Methods Are:

* Shofrot – A shofar is the main symbol of the high holidays. What’s so special about a shofar? Why do we need to hear it?

            Human nature is such that if one has too much free time on his hands, just nothing to do, he will gravitate to sin. Is a person so evil that he just can’t help himself? Is he so mischievous that he will constantly get his hands caught trying to pry open the cookie jar? Many Chassidic sources say it’s inevitable that man will get corrupted in the course of his lifetime. If it’s not the action, then the thought is a battleground for evil.

            There was once a big rabbi in the last stage of his life, where he was not in control of his mental state.  He was constantly using foul language and making crude remarks. Someone said, now one can tell what a great man he was, all his life he had to control and restrain himself from using bad language. This was a major hurdle he had to overcome. Throughout a lifetime, we accumulate layers of dirt; we have dirty hands and tainted hearts; goodness get the soap.

The word LINSHOM means to breath; it comes from NESHAMA – the soul. The purest part of man is the soul. For this reason, G-d may have mercy and forgive us. After all those layers and layers of sin one accumulated, there lies the purest of good, the NESHAMA. When G-d created man, he blew into his nostrils the breath of life. There are a number of ways one can identify someone. At night, in the dark, one can tell a loved one through the sound of their breath; if one wants to get spiritual, one way to start is to take deep breaths. The essence of the soul is though the passage of breathing. This is the reason we blow the shofar which is the highest form of prayer because it comes from the inner part of man; a part that’s not tainted, the purest part of man, deep inside him, the NESHAMA. So, apparently through the shofar, it’s the purest Tefillah.

In the amida of Mussaf, the additional prayer said after the morning services, we say nine blessings. The Gemarah says the source for the number nine is the 9, AZKAROT mentions of G-d’s name in the story of Chana. We read on the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the story of Chana, who was known for the tremendous intensity of her prayer. Chana was a barren woman who had to suffer the humiliation by her husband, who took a second wife and bore his children. Chana’s prayers were finally answered on Rosh Hashanah. She had a son who became the great prophet, Shmuel. There is a very important message one can learn from the story of Chana that is a very essential part of the holiday, and for that matter an essential part of life. At the end, Chana bore seven children while her rival lost a child every time Chana gave birth to one. One must realize there is a change of fortunes that the unpredictable life offers. Rav Tzadok HaCohen says the Shofar blowing consists of shevarim and teruahs which are broken sounds representing crying, broken spirit. This must always be sandwiched in by two tekias. The firm unbroken sound represents joy. This represents the theme of the day; we have to be joyous, however we are judged; so anything can happen, which translates into fear. For some, this year will bring joy and for some sorrow. For some, fortunes will change and for others not.

 

* Zichronot – remembrance: When we pray and ask G-d to remember our good merits, we are referring to our ancestors. We said in our previous newsletters since we are the genealogy of those great people, it would be a good bet, and it would be safe to assume that those great qualities are found in us. Therefore, He should forgive us because we are bound to do well. So we remind him of the major shining moments in our history where it was so impressive it would be hard for Him not to forgive us. It’s a tremendous weapon which we use on Rosh Hashanah. The three major characters that will help us in this theme is Avraham, his wife, Sarah, and their son Yitzchak, and the major event is the Akeda.

What’s important to note and a major aspect to Judaism is the power of the Hebrew letters. Avraham and Sarah were believers of monotheistic G-d and they openly campaigned for Him. Unfortunately, though, they could not have children. G-d rewarded them by adding the letter ‘HEY to Avraham and Sarah. As a result, Avraham and Sarah became a new entity. (Perhaps this is the reason when someone is sick, a new name or a letter is added). Avraham was taken out from the mazal of the world and was rewarded with the ability to go against nature. “You will always have the ability to break nature through your faith,” G-d said to him. They weren’t supposed to have children, it was against nature and yet, they did. So we see, the inception of Jewish nation, the whole Jewish entity began against nature through the power of the letter HEY. This letter represents G-d’s name. So if someone calls Avraham, Avram, they take away the power, not just from Avraham, but himself. He takes away the essence of the Jews. Avraham with the HEY fuels us together. Ever wonder why we are called children of Avraham and not the children of Noach (non-Jews). Because Noach had children naturally, he was part and parcel with the natural state of the world. We have an unnatural and illogical existence; we were crucified, humiliated, and tortured throughout history. However, we never lost hope; we were tenacious and we never gave up. So G-d remembers Avraham’s ability to spread G-d’s name and being a model example of what a Jew is all about. The acts of kindness were passed down through the generations to us. G-d looks at us and that particular potential to manifest itself through our personality. Then it would remind Him of our forefather, Avraham.

* Malchiot

Ever wonder why we do not say one slicha – please forgive me – on Rosh Hashanah. Why don’t we bang on our heart like we do on Yom Kippur? Nevertheless, it’s the big time, Judgment Day. How is it Judgment Day if you’re eating such delicious foods via three course meals? When I was a young care-free fellow, the tradition was I would buy a new suit every Rosh Hashanah; that’s Judgment Day? Maybe one is being judged by friends on who bought the nicest clothes at bargain prices. Who got more bang for their buck this holiday season? The cheap is to pay Jamaica Avenue prices and have the Hugo Boss, Fifth Avenue look and quality. In essence, though, Rosh Hashanah is designed that way; it’s designed to feel like royalty. Everybody in shul is on their best behavior, dressed to the tee; one feels like royalty.

ME ZEH MELECH HAKAVOD – who is the king that’s wrapped in honor, in royalty? He’s the one who gets the KAVOD. The KAVOD is due to him. G-d is the king. However, if the king has no followers, his kingship is weakened. His people are the ones who raise the volume and strengthen his rulership. If not, they are not needed. So it’s our responsibility to make a tremendous kavod in His honor all year round, especially on Rosh Hashanah. We wear the fine clothes, cook fine foods and we feel good about ourselves. We feel like royalty. What a great feeling, right? By enhancing and indulging in the royalty, one is enhancing G-d. However, it’s important to think, “I am doing this for G-d.” All the clothes, the food, the feel-good is all for G-d. This is the frame of mind we should have on Rosh Hashanah when we pronounce MELECH – King – at every juncture of our prayer. All this material beauty is all for You, G-d.

The greatest teshuva – repentance – that ever occurred was by one of the three central characters:

The Matriarch, Sarah

When the three angels arrived to Avraham’s home and proclaimed, “Sarah and you will have a child”, Sarah upon hearing them from the back, by the door, laughed. We’re going to have kids – that’s funny. Apparently, G-d didn’t find her reaction too amusing and asked her, “Why did you laugh?  Do you doubt I have the ability to do so, the ability to change your mazal?” Sarah answered something very startling, “I didn’t laugh.” “What do you mean you didn’t laugh? Are you lying in front of the Almighty? That’s chutzpah!!!”  What is startling is that she meant it! Sarah was completely sincere that she didn’t laugh.  “HAYOM HARAT OLAM” We say in the Mussaf Amida prayer “today”. Today, I am a different person. I totally regret what I did, to an extent, to such a level that I disengage, dis-associate myself from the person who sinned. Although I take responsibility, however, that’s not me anymore; I’ve changed; I would never do those things again. With all the regret that was in her heart, she meant it. How else would one explain her naming her son Yitzchak; Yitzchak means laughter. Is it possible she would name her child after a sin? That would constitute the highest level of audacity. However, the name will forever be associated with the highest level of teshuvah – repentance – performed by our matriarch, Sarah.

 

Yitzchak

Yitzchak’s special quality was how he prayed. No one prayed with such intensity as Yitzchak did. When his bride-to-be, Rivka, arrived and she saw him for the first time, she fell off her camel, because she saw him at the time when he was in the middle of prayer. It left such an impression that she was struck with such fear and awe of him for the rest of her life. When one makes the leap and becomes religious, this individual’s prayer is beloved in G-d’s eyes more-so than the prayer of one that has been religious all his life. One may think such was the case with Rivka who came from a house of reshayim. Rivka’s strong character and extreme kindness was quite the opposite of her family. One can only imagine how difficult it was for her to live in her father’s house; she was a unique individual, a tzadakus. Rivka’s prayers rattled the heavens. However, it was Yitzchak’s prayers that were accepted, in which, enabled them to have children, because he prayed with intensity.

The Test

G-d injected Avraham with such a love for his son, Yitzchak, like no other, which made the test extremely difficult.

These three characters showed such devotion to G-d; such devotion and love to each other, that they’ve taken human potential to an unprecedented level. We are proud to say we are their offspring and offspring inherit the character traits, the genes of their ancestors. So if they were outstanding, we too, have the credentials and potential to reach them. G-d, then should give us the benefit of the doubt; after all, we’re a chip off the old block.

With these three methods, we hope that it would be sufficient for a good Judgment Day. The next part of repentance is Yom Kippur.

 

Parshat Chayei Sarah

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Chayei Sarah

November 17, 2011
20 Cheshvan, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

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In This Issue
Parshat Chayei Sarah Highlights
Parshat Chayei Sarah – The Art of Adapting
Source of Tradition
Important Note Before Shabbat

Parshat Chayei Sarah Highlights
 

* We open the parsha with the narrative accounting of Sarah’s (Abraham’s wife) age, implying that she has passed on.

 

* Abraham buys a burial plot (Ma’arat Hamachpela) from Efron Hachiti (this is where Adam and Eve are buried).

 

* Abraham sends Eliezer, his trusted advisor, to Charan, to find a wife for his son Yitzchak.

 

* As Eliezer arrives at the outskirts of Charan, he camps by the well where a young girl offers to serve him and his camels water. Eliezer’s prayers were answered because the girl who showed the tremendous kindness was none other than Rivka, the daughter of Betuel, Abraham’s relative. Eliezer knew he has met Yitzchak’s soul mate.

 

* Eliezer consummates the deal with Rivka’s family; here, we are introduced to Lavan, Rivka’s brother, for the first time.

 

* Eliezer brings her home to Yitzchak where they become husband and wife.

 

* Abraham marries Keturah (Rashi says she is Hagar) where she bears him 6 sons, all of which got presents and were sent away; meaning they were not the primary sons of Abraham.

 

* Abraham dies at the age 175 and his sons Yitzchak and Yishmael bury him.

 

* Yishmael dies.

Parshat Chayei Sarah – The Art of Adapting
abraham's tent

In life, one must learn to adapt to a situation, whether it be work, school, marriage, birth, death, diet, or with friends. No matter how harsh living conditions may be, no matter how difficult the environment, no matter how irritating or obnoxious the person, a human being is able to adapt and survive. But, we shall shortly learn from the teaching of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, that there is an important ingredient, which should be infused in the process of adapting, in order for it to be successful.

It is this message, which will clarify to us the difference between Abraham’s reaction to G-d’s command to bring his son Yitzchak as a sacrifice, as opposed to that of his wife Sarah. Abraham was eager to fulfill G-d’s command. Sarah, on the other hand, when she heard what had transpired, could not bear the news, and died instantly. How can two great people have reacted so differently to the same event? What makes this question even more puzzling, was that Sarah was on a higher level then her husband in prophecy.

The answer is that Abraham was made aware in agradual manner that Yitzchak was to be brought as a sacrifice, thus allowing his feelings and emotions to adapt to the challenge awaiting him. G-d told him ‘Take your son’ then ‘your only son whom you love’. Only then did he inform him that Yitzchak was to be sacrificed.Thus, if Abraham had been confronted suddenly that it was Yitzchak who was to be sacrificed, he would not have survived. It was the gradual realization of this fact that made him digest this. He was therefore able to perform G-d’s command. Such was not the case with Sarah who was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization of what had happened and died resulting from the shock.

Another example of how delicate and gradual one must be, is G-d’s reaction after Adam sinned by eating from the tree of knowledge. G-d appeared close to Adam and asked ‘Where are you?’ G-d knew where Adam was, but He wanted to confront him in a manner that he would not be startled. The guilt of his sin was overwhelming; any sudden confrontation would have emotionally destroyed Adam.

Let’s not forget Serach bat Asher, the granddaughter of our father Yaacov, who played the harp singing ‘Yosef (his favorite son who was presumed dead for 22 years) is still alive and living in Egypt’. The overwhelming sudden joy would have been proven too much and would have killed him. Serach presented it in a delicate, clever gradual way in which Yaacov was able to comprehend without the shocking affect.

The Gemarah (Sotah13a) states that soon after Yaacov’s death, seventeen years later, when Yaacov’s sons were taking his body to the Cave of Machpela for burial, a confrontation took place between his sons and his evil brother Eisav. Eisav came and protested that the plot of land (Cave of Machpela) belonged to him. A debate ensued and it was decided that one of the brothers would return to Egypt and retrieve the deed to show that Yaacov indeed owned the property.

A deaf grandson Chushim (son of Naftali) wondered, why the cause of the delay? When they communicated with him, he exclaimed ‘What? Our grandfather will lie in degradation until the deed is brought?’ whereupon he immediately killed Eisav.

Why was Chushim, a grandson, more concerned about Yaacov’s honor than Yaacov’s own sons? Rav Chaim answers, all the brothers had been slowly drawn into the argument with Eisav, gradually dulling their sensitivity to their father’s shame. Chushim, being deaf, was completely unaware of the situation. When he realized the reason for the delay, he could not contain his anger and killed Eisav.

One has to be aware of the delicate nature of man. He has to approach situations gradually. Furthermore, man must be aware and use his most powerful tool ‘to speak’  properly by delivering news, whether good or bad, gradually, so the process of adapting should go smoothly and successfully.

Source of Tradition 
   spark plug

             At the beginning of this week’s parsha, we find Abraham busy arranging his wife Sarah’s funeral. Although the Bible is not a history book, it also does not show the emotional side of our forefathers either. However, through our traditions and our other sources that depict the human emotional side, we are able to feel the pulse of our ancestors. Such is the case of Abraham, in this difficult situation of the death of his beloved wife.

We learn from our sages that Abraham and Sarah were very close and showed tremendous respect for each other. They had a common goal and sought to accomplish it through their different personalities. Abraham was charismatic and outgoing, while Sarah’s virtue was modesty.

One should note that one of the most beautiful experiences of love for a Jew is the Friday night Shabbat table (if its performed correctly); and one of the traditions is for a husband to recite (sing) eshet chayil (woman of valor) in front of his wife. In this recitation, which is found in the last chapter of King Solomon’s Mishlai, it describes the virtue of the beloved wives of Israel. The sages and many commentaries are in unison that eshet chayil is based on the emotional eulogy in which Abraham presented at his wife Sarah’s funeral. As far as tradition goes this piut, (poem) goes back 4000 years to that emotional day when there wasn’t a dry-eyed person listening to Abraham express his love, one last time, for his wife.

The family is brought together Friday night, when the power of Shabbat focuses on bringing the family closer through love and respect, just as Abraham had for his wife Sarah.

Important Note Before Shabbat 
   parking ticket

            Did you know that if one lights Shabbat candles on a table, even after the candles are extinguished on the table upon which it was standing, the table cannot be moved until after Shabbat is over. The table is muktzah.

Muktzah items are those that are not allowed to be moved on Shabbat. It’s a rabbinical law created as a fence to prevent one from stumbling and violating Shabbat. These preventive measures are fences, which are essential to the survival and to our commitment of the commandment ‘keeping the Shabbat’.

I can understand why one can’t move the table while the candles are lit; the reason is, candles are more prone to be put out while moving and one might be tempted to light them again, therefore violating the Shabbat.

But why can’t one move the table after the candles are no longer lit? The answer is, the lit candles and the tables, which was muktzah during the period of bein hashmashot, are at a frozen state until after Shabbat.

Bein hashmashot is a time period between sunset and nightfall that many commentaries say has an unknown status of what day it belongs to. One can also reach tremendous spiritual heights during this period, especially Friday afternoon before Shabbat. If I may ask the readers, what is the most important prayer of the year? The answer is ‘Neilah’ on Yom Kippur, which is purposely said during bein hashmashot. The reason being is that during bein hashmashot on Friday is when Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, sinned. Therefore, we try to fix their mistake. Apparently, if one notices that on many occasions, there is friction between a husband and wife during this time. One has to rectify and be extra careful and to know that he should try to withstand any hardships at bein hashmashot, and then he will reap tremendous rewards. Perhaps this is why the prayer eshet chayil (woman of valor) is said Friday night at the Shabbat table after bein hashmashot, after the uncomfortable nature Adam and Eve had towards one another. Eshet chayil is reconciliation and is to reaffirm the commitment of husband and wife.

Rabbi Akiva Tatz mentions that when one passes on to the next world, there is an unknown status between life and death where the person experiences nothing but darkness. During this period, the evil powers tries to convince the individual, “you see there is nothing here; all this talk about life after death and heaven is all nonsense. It was just a farce that the Rabbis wanted you to believe.” If one believes and is convinced this is true, he loses everything; he loses it all. His status, which consists of his thoughts and belief at that moment, is frozen for eternity. He could have been a big tzadik all his life, but lose it all at that crucial moment of in-between. This is the reason that it’s recommended for a loved one to say shema yisrael when one leaves the world. The soul is in a scared and confused state; it needs strength from any source it can get.

We tend to rush and lose our cool trying to get all things done before Shabbat. Please use caution during this period.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Devarim

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Devarim

August 5, 2011
5 Av, 5771

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Tisha B’Av begins this Monday Night

In This Issue
Power of Speech – Parshat Devarim
Light At the End of the Tunnel – Tisha B’Av
Coffee Withdrawal

 Power of Speech – Parshat Devarim
 speech

    ‘These are the words that Moshe spoke to Israel’….The word ‘Devarim’ which is the name of the last of the five books of the Torah (bible) is defined here as ‘words’. Many commentaries including the Vilna Gaon say that the first four books were heard directly from the mouth of G-d through the throat of Moshe. However, in the fifth book, Moshe was the speaker. Although he received divine prophecy, nevertheless, Moshe chose his own words and conveyed the commandments to the Israelites as he understood them. The importance of calling this book Devarim, which literal translation means ‘things’, conveys the power of speech. It is no coincidence in the Hebrew language that Davar (thing) and Deeber (speak) are spelled and sound similarly. G-d created the world by using verbal expression ‘and G-d called the day….’and G-d called the earth….’ so we see that words are the root of things. We too have the capability to create things with words.

A powerful unique gift in which Jews possess is speech; we learn this message from what our forefather Yitzchak prophesized, ‘the hands are the hands of Esav but the voice is Yaakov.’ The commentaries say we can control the world and our destiny by using our speech wisely in accordance with the Torah. This is our weapon; it’s a tool to fix life and the ticket to heaven.

However, we see from past history, the Egyptians were aware of this trait and neutralized it as they enslaved us. They cleverly knew how to psychologically take the wind out of the Israelites by working them till exhaustion. ‘The Jews moaned and screamed’ and could not verbalize their feelings. This was a designed plan to rob them of expression, their power source.

We learn this lesson from another important incident where we find that Moshe was afraid to go to battle with Israel’s nemesis, Ogg the giant. Apparently, many years before, Ogg had told Abraham that his nephew Lot, was being held captive and it’s important to go to battle and save him. One might think it was quite a noble gesture of Ogg. However, Ogg had ulterior motives; he had hoped that Abraham would die in battle so he can then marry Abraham’s wife Sarah, who happened to be one of the four most beautiful women that ever lived. Why then was Moshe afraid of Ogg? We see clearly that he had malicious intent! Moshe realized that although Ogg wanted Sarah, nevertheless, he used verbal expression by alarming Abraham about the condition of Lot his nephew. While Moshe missed out the great opportunity to sanctify G-d through verbal expressions by hitting the rock as opposed to speaking to it as G-d commanded, apparently, Moshe was afraid the scale might be tipped the favoring Ogg because utilized his power of speech and Moshe – in that case – did not.

We find many leaders in history who were able to push their agendas by their powerful orating skills. The world was almost destroyed by the evil Hitler (y’mach shemo); this was made possible by him hypnotizing the crowd through his speeches. There were many fine skills that John F Kennedy had as a politician; one of them was that he was able to win over Americans through his press conferences with his sharp humor. There’s a saying, ‘It’s not the mighty hand but the powerful tongue.’  There’s a lot of truth to those words.

Lastly, the greatest gift one can give a deceased relative is to say kaddish (yitgadal v’yitkadash shemeh rabah) or to learn Torah in his memory. The soul can move further up towards a better place in heaven by a mere kaddish. Again, we see how powerful and meaningful words can be.

We can create and destroy worlds in an instant through our speech. If we only realize and give some thought of how powerful our speech can be, we would be a little more careful in watching our tongue, and hesitate just a little before those powerful words come out.

 

Light At the End of the Tunnel – Tisha B’Av
 Tisha B'Av

    This coming Tuesday is Tisha B’Av (the ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av). It’s a tragic day for Jews; many terrible tragedies have happened to our people on this day. The most endearing loss is our temples. For three weeks leading up to this tragic day, we do not make or attend any celebrations, listen to music or go swimming. We gradually increase our mourning beginning on Rosh Chodesh (1st day of the month of Av) by not shaving, doing laundry, haircuts, and eating meat or chicken. On Tisha B’Av itself which starts this Monday night, we fast, do not wear leather shoes or sit on chairs (at about mid-day one can start sitting on regular chairs). Apparently our ancestors have not lived up to G-d’s expectations and occasionally angered Him.  This was magnified on Tisha B’Av.   Maybe we should just leave it at that for now and not dig up any skeletons that are in the closet (or check out my lecture called ‘baseless hatred’). One of the most interesting and moving gemara’s in which I’ve seen on Tisha B’Av and would like to share with you, was a story involving Rabbi Akiva. A number of Rabbis were observing the destruction of the temple noticing foxes running in and out of the Holy of Holies. This is where the high priest would enter on Yom Kippur to pray and plead for forgiveness for the nation of Israel.The high priest’s life would be taken away in the Holy of Holies if the nation was not forgiven. It was such a high energy and spiritual place that if any unauthorized person entered with the exception of the Kohen Gadol, he would be killed.
    The degradation of the condition of the Holy of Holies made the rabbis very sad with the exception of Rabbi Akiva who was laughing with joy. His colleagues were puzzled and asked him to explain his behavior. Rabbi Akiva responded to their question of why are you laughing, with ‘why are you crying’? “Apparently,” he said, “I had a prophecy where the temple will be destroyed and the final redemption will come, and the ultimate temple will be built. Now that I saw the destruction I realized that my prophecy is coming true and the Moshiach will come and our people will be victorious in our quest to build the 3rd and final house of G-d”.
   Although I can relate very much to the sadness that the Rabbis expressed to Rabbi Akiva, I felt that Rabbi Akiva’s attitude towards the negativity surrounding him was very impressive. While everybody was deep in sorrow, he tried to find something positive; he tried to find the light at the end of the tunnel. The frame of mind in which Rabbi Akiva expressed is not simple to achieve. It is difficult to be consistent in thinking the glass is half full. However, in today’s day and age, it’s a must in order to survive. A positive outlook breeds positive feelings. If the Jews had this attitude at the time of the destruction, then G-d would never have brought this bad omen. Apparently, if one posseses a positive frame of mind like Rabbi Akiva, then he will feel more positive toward his friend. The tolerance level toward people would be higher and that would lead to tranquility. We should learn a lesson from Rabbi Akiva’s positive attitude and incorporate it in every step of our lives. We should think positive which would lead to feeling positive. It will result in us feeling good about ourselves and others, and we should hope and pray that Moshiach will come and the final temple will be built be’karov.

Coffee Withdrawal
 coffee withdrawal

Personally, one of the scariest times of the year are the two of the six fasts that we keep – Yom Kippur and Tisha B’Av. You see, I’m a coffee addict and I have to stop drinking coffee a week before the fast and wean myself from it to prevent caffeine withdrawal headaches, which occur on the fast day. (With some people, if they fast without getting their daily dose of caffeine, in other words they stop cold turkey, then the symptoms get so severe that they experience excruciating headaches to an extent leading to nausea.)

We are all trying to observe G-d’s commandment, but how can we stop the painful experience?

I’m sure you are probably wondering, what about the other four fasts and how do I handle the headaches? You see, those fasts start at daybreak and not the night before. Therefore, one would get up before daybreak and guzzle down three cups of coffee. But the two remaining fasts which begin the night before, are problematic.

A week before the fast, I try to wean myself from coffee, decreasing it daily until I’m caffeine-free a day or two before. Unfortunately, the headaches are prolonged that week; however not as severe.

There is always a price to pay for something good. However, this addict (myself) is a fighter and is trying to find various ways to not interrupt the addiction, while at the same time, observe the mitzvah of fasting. Perhaps Excedrin might be a solution; it has caffeine in it. But the Rabbis say it’s problematic taking it on a fast day. I have heard of time-release capsules or laxatives. Excitingly, I asked a pharmacist who did not hear of such a thing on the market. He mentioned it could be compounded, but he doesn’t recommend it, sighting coffee is a potent laxative and could cause uncontrolled accidents throughout the day if taken. Plus, there is a health risk, potentially affecting the heart.

I love the taste of coffee and find it hard to depart from it. Breakfast and coffee is a marriage made in heaven. Doughnuts are not fun without it; neither is a bagel. Plus, it keeps a person awake. I tend to sleep very late and get up very early. Without the coffee infusion, sleep catches up with you; it interrupts a person’s very busy schedule.

If you only knew what us addicts have to go through to fast, I’m sure there is a great reward awaiting us in heavens (probably the best cup of coffee you ever tasted.)

I would like to end by asking, is there is anyone out there that has a solution? This addict would like to know.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Metzora

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Metzorah

April 7, 2011

3 Nissan, 5771

In This Issue
Unity and The Seder
The Four Sons

Unity and The Seder
family seder

 

If there is one night an American secular Jew could relate to a gentile’s Thanksgiving Day, is Passover eve ‘the Seder’. It’s a night where family travels from all over the world to be together. But besides being a wonderful family reunion, it is also a powerful night spiritually, connecting to G-d and unifying us as one nation. Every so often one hears an interesting thought which is inspiring.

This was the case many years ago hearing a d’var Torah from Rabbi Feivel Wagner z”l of the Young Israel of Forest Hills. He started the d’rasha (speech) by asking ‘why do we call it Seder?’ and he replied ‘Seder means order’. The sages created the proper order so we can elevate ourselves on this holy night. Rabbi Wagner began to explain the sequence from the beginning of the night: Kiddush is making the blessing on the wine; urchatz is washing your hands without a blessing; karpas is a vegetable (either celery or potato), dipped in salt water; yachatz is breaking of the middle matzah and magid is telling of the story of how we were slaves. But wait, how do the Rabbis proclaim the evening is in order when it seems like it’s out of sequence? Perhaps, karpas – the dipping of the vegetable in salt water, should be incorporated into magid – the telling of the story or our enslavement in Egypt. Apparently, isn’t that telling of the story?

We know from experience how meticulous our sages can be. Everything they wrote in the Siddur was carefully orchestrated and fit perfectly into its proper slot in the prayer.  So too, one would expect the pattern of preciseness at the Seder also. They are very smart; they won’t leave anything uncovered. Ahh, these Rabbi’s…. they always have a motive for everything. They always have something up their sleeves. Did they get careless here? So why is it out of sequence?

Our holy and smart sages did put the sequence in the right order. To understand the proper sequence of events, we have to back track years before the Jews entered Egypt, to the book of Genesis parshat vayeshev. There was jealousy against Joseph by his brothers who were the twelve sons of Jacob, our Patriarch. Joseph received an exclusive coat for a present by Jacob, which fueled the fire of jealousy and divided the brothers even more. The brothers decided to sell Joseph; but how would they explain their action to Jacob? Yehuda, the leader among the brothers, devised a plan; lying to his father by telling him a wild animal killed Joseph and showing Jacob the present, the ripped coat dipped in blood. The dipping of the coat was the climax of the hate and division toward their brother Joseph. Dipping is the action that broke the camel’s back and started the exile. Therefore the dipping of karpas, which the commentary Rashi defines, a coat, symbolizes the negative action of Yehuda and the brothers and one reason we’re in exile.

Someone wrote to me last week about my article titled ‘Passover Custom’ where I wrote how important it is to keep our traditions and customs because, apparently when eating over a friend’s house, the traditions could differ. So as a precautionary measure, one has to be careful when eating out. This person had a very strong question; this meticulous caution breeds disunity he proclaimed. I would like to add and make his question stronger by stating what audacity I have by alluding that the brothers were wrong in selling Joseph and dividing the family, while in last week’s article, I encouraged caution at eating by the brethrens, seemingly causing division.

One has to realize that respecting your fellow Jew’s customs and not forcing your traditions on him is the ultimate love and unity one can express. Joseph was different. It’s not so strange that brothers are not on the same page. Perhaps they weren’t sensitive enough to understand his personality. Perhaps Joseph too, should have realized his actions and words would cause a negative reaction from them.

My father z”l once raised my right hand and said ‘you see son, are any of your fingers the same? Different size, shape. But all the fingers on the hand work in unison. So too, people.  We are all different, and when we realize and respect each other’s quirkiness then we will be a unified nation’.

The Four Sons
 4 sons

Rabbi Olbaum, in quoting the book, Or Yael, asks a question: What does G-d love most about Abraham, our patriarch? Abraham was the first to recognize G-d; he had ten tests and passed them all and he publicly displayed his belief; he didn’t hide it by putting his kippah in his pocket. But the one item on a most impressive resume was his ability to pass down the tradition to his sons and grandsons. We learn it out from Parshat Vayera 19:18; ‘I know he will command his children and household’.

There are so many reasons why G-d can love Abraham – so why this one? Although, it is important, so is ‘welcoming guests’, ‘mastering kindness’ just to name a few of his many virtues. So it’s a little puzzling why this particular one is singled out. The Chafetz Chaim says ‘a person can be the most pious Jew and live an entire life learning Torah in his private domain, but if he doesn’t pass it down to his children, friends, students and neighbors, the word of G-d will disappear. Abraham had the ability, had the gift, which no one before him could.

The Haggadah introduces us to the four sons and one may ask: what’s the motive? What’s the moral lesson that the sages want to bring out? A person should realize that one of the primary goals of the Seder are the children, and we have to be in tune and read between the lines of the questions they ask.

We can deduce wisdom and interest from the detailed question of the Chacham (intelligent son). There is a sense of sincerity in his tone. The tone of the voice is essential to read what they are really trying to say.

Next is the Rasha (wicked); one might say the fact that he’s asking a question at all, is wonderful. There is no such thing as a bad question, one may think. Well, as long as there is an open channel for an answer, then yes. However, that question might be a statement; therefore, the lines of communication are closed. By the tone and attitude, the Rasha is not very open minded and not interested in hearing answers. His question has a negative connotation by excluding himself by speaking of ‘you’ and not ‘us’; therefore, his statement is understood as criticism. The statement or the very act of separating oneself from the Jewish people is a form of separation from G-d.

With all of this bad attitude, the Rasha is surprisingly number two. Although he’s dangerous and his aura can spread, it will not be a good idea to leave him with the kids. However, there is a famous gemarah that tends to give some hope. The example they give is when Haman, who wanted to destroy the Jews, went to find Mordechai. He found him teaching Torah in a classroom where he had a brief curiosity. The Talmud tells us that the genealogy makeup of being curious – no matter how brief – can be manifested itself years later in great grandchildren.

This is quite the opposite with the fourth son who has no ambition, no curiosity, and might end up being an inactive Rasha. He’s not curious to be interested. This leaves us with the third son who is curious and takes upon himself some sort of commitment of Torah. But his intellect is limited. But every so often, he gets a spark of energy where the teacher has to take advantage before he hibernates for another length of time.

What we’re hoping for is sincere curiosity from their questions and this is what we bait the kids for. But how do we accomplish that? If you observe closely and see how the Torah handles each son individually, each one got a different response. We learn from the sages the importance of handling each child in a different way. It’s a tremendous injustice to teach using the same technique. The optimal choice is every individual should get a different approach to education. It may not be so practical but it is needed.

The Vilna Gaon says some kids like blood and knives, so one has to guide them toward being a mohel or a shochet. There are children that can’t sit still. I remember learning in yeshiva where guys would pace from one end of the study hall to the other. Some of the greatest minds had the greatest pacing. What would one do? Would you tie them up to the seat? NO!! That would destroy them. Let them walk the halls; this is how they learn.

We learn from the sages to approach every child differently. This was Abraham’s method; his extreme sensitivity toward ones personality, and that is why he succeeded to pass down the torch.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience