Tag Archive for Balak

Are they some Kabalist/Rabbis who take their powers from evil sources?

July 22, 2016 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Berrel Wien, Eliyahu ben Chaim, Asher Hurzberg, Naftali Gonzvi, Pinchus Winston, Yossi Bilius,  Abba Wagensberg, Nissan Midel and The Nachshoni

What’s the difference between a Kabbalist and a Rabbi? A Kabbalist is in a higher tax bracket.

Do traditional Jews take mysticism with a grain of salt? One prominent Orthodox Jew, when introducing a speaker on the subject of Jewish mysticism, basically said, “It’s nonsense, but it’s Jewish nonsense, and the study of anything Jewish, even nonsense, is worthwhile.”

However in many circles going to a Kabbalist is a way of life. One may have a favorite social drink, favorite sport team and a favorite Kabbalist. Perhaps in our New York circles, the Kabbalist has replaced the psychologist as “the go to guy” for help with every aspect of life’s decisions. It makes a great conversation piece at wedding, “Oh, who’s your Kabbalist? Does he take American Express?”

One has to ask if this is the right path for us Jews to consider. Do Kabbalists actually have special powers? And if they do, where do they get their powers from? Is it possible they can get their energy source from a negative evil side? Can we tap in to their superpowers?

First and foremost, one has to realize that once people begin to complicate their lives by attending a Kabbalist it becomes addicting. The reliance increases for every small item. It could start with a legitimate inquiry and gravitate toward the most trivial, like what color paint my patio should be. People start to think, “No I can’t make that decision, I’m not as worthy as the Kabbalist.” This is an addiction and it starts when man seeks to have an edge in life. However, man, not being G-d, is part of that perfect imperfection and is therefore prone to making mistakes. Man, be it the person seeking help as well as the Kabbalist, can, even innocently at times, end up working against G-d even when, at times, he thinks that he is working with Him. As it has been said, the road to Gehinom is paved with good intentions.

We see how having an edge sometimes could lead to a big fiasco. Korach saw through Ruach HaKodesh that from him is destined leadership. But “the eyes fooled him” (Rashi). He didn’t realize is that it was not him who was destined to be the leader but his descendent Shmuel. He misread the divine prophesy.

Similarly, Achitofel was King David’s teacher and was the smartest man in the world at the time. His advice was as good as gold. He saw in Ruach HaKodesh, again that edge, the he is destined the Kingdom. That motivated him to contrite a plan instigating David’s own son Avshalom to rebel against his father. This became one of the uglier episodes in Jewish History. At the end the coup failed and both Achitofel and Avshalom died. What he too didn’t realize was that it wasn’t he who would be king but his great grandson Shlomo.

POWERS TODAY?

In the early part of the 1900’s in Eastern Europe there were documented cases of “DEBUK”- a malevolent wandering spirit that enters and possesses the body of a living person until exorcized. Why was there such a scary phenomenon at this particular period and place? Can one imagine children being possessed by evil spirits? Our Rabbis taught us a concept that when there is a high level of kedusha then there will automatically also be a high level of impurity. In our illustrious Jewish history, this period was known for tremendous amount of Torah learning. The Volozhin as well as the Pressburg Yeshivot were at their heyday and produced some of the greatest Torah scholars that we ever had. But life has to be of equilibrium. When there is a high level of kedusha there will always be an equal amount of evil. The balance must always be.

Today however the generation is substantially weaker compared to yesteryear and it would be highly unlikely that we can produce high levels of great Torah scholars, and equally unlikely to have witches, demons, ghosts or goblins. You are the product of the environment.

Where do magic and extra -terrestrial powers measure on the glucometer of today? Let’s examine the mechanics or at least touch upon one of the many major ways one can elevate himself to superhuman status. In this week’s parsha we encounter one of the more fascinating characters in the Torah, Bilam.

Bilam first appears in our parsha as a human menace, one who with magic or the evil eye by sight or by speech can cause havoc. However we find something interesting that he, by his behavior, is totally dependent on G-d. Although he doesn’t listen very well and transgresses the command against harming Israel, nevertheless he seeks Divine consultation. Strangely, we see a shift later; his devilish image disappears, replaced by that of a prophet who knows the secrets of the future. But we’re not quite finished with him yet. The next episode has him becoming an inciter, who advises corrupting Israel in the pleasures of the flesh. Ultimately, he is killed in battle by the Jews.

In our modern world what can we learn from him? Not the black magic that he inherited from his father (or as some say his grandfather) Lavan. Nor is it the presents Balak received from the gifts that Avraham, our forefather gave to the sons of Ketura, one of his wives. Rav Yirmiya bar Aba taught, “He gave over to them the use of G-d’s name with impurity.” This, Rashi tells us, means that he taught them black magic and demonology. Some Sages teach us that some of the black magic had to do with incense. Avraham received the knowledge of this power from Pharoah as a gift along with his daughter Hagar when he went to Egypt. But today all this is pretty much irrelevant and a waste of time. The Torah is attempting to teach us something. In order to understand a tremendous insight in ourselves and our powers, what we can achieve, we have to examine a few occurrences in our rich past.

We left Egypt in the most thunderous way, with miracles and with the hand of G-d clearly visible. What a way to become a nation. As we know from the Torah and the stories we recite at the seder, we were in a rush (I guess we trace that trait from our ancestors) and didn’t have time to bake the dough. Apparently they didn’t even want to prepare anything for the way, and thus the commentators explain that they had to leave quickly in order to avoid descending to the final level of the Fifty Gates of Impurity. This, of course, is where we encountered Matzot.

However, this does not seem to be correct. Just the opposite! The strength of impurity had been eliminated as a result of the revelation of the Divine Presence, as it says, “For the Children of Israel even a dog will not growl.” (Shemot 11:7). He judged their gods and killed their firstborn. If so, how can it be said that impurity has any control, G-d forbid?

After the redemption had already commenced, from the time the plagues had begun 12 months prior, Evil (Sitra Achra) began to lose power and he continued to do so from that point onward, particularly from the time the actual oppression ended which was on Rosh Hashanah, as it says in Tractate Rosh Hashanah (11a).

In the month of Nissan, and especially on the first night of Pesach, Evil- the S”A was completely beaten and conquered to the point of extinction. If so, how can one say there was concern about the power of the 50th gate of Impurity?

For, G-d, shined His holy light onto the Jewish people, as the author of the Haggadah has written, “The King of Kings was revealed to them.” Therefore, they could not remain in Egypt a moment longer lest the S”A become completely eradicated and free will become eliminated. Egypt was the chief of all the Klipos- negative energy, and if she had been destroyed then so too the S”A and Evil inclination would have been destroyed completely. Free will would no longer have existed, and for this reason they could not delay. Thus, the verse says, “Egypt imposed itself strongly upon the people to hasten to send them out of the land, for they said, ‘We are all dying.'” (Shemot 12:33).

Thus, redemption had not occurred as a result of their own merit, but on the contrary, they had been quite absorbed and drowning in the zuhama and depths of Egyptian impurity. Indeed, only as a result of the merit of covenant with our forefathers Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov had this been accomplished.

What begs to be asked is in what method did G-d eradicate and weaken Evil, the Yetzer Hara?

At one point in history, the leading sages were Rabbi Yehudah, Rabbi Yosei the Galilite, and Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. While discussing what attitude to take towards the Roman government, Rabbi Yehudah suggested a friendly one, Rabbi Yosei expressed no opinion, while Rabbi Shimon spoke very bitterly of the Roman tyrants and advocated every possible defiance. Rabbi Shimon could never forget the terrible sight of his beloved master and teacher, Rabbi Akiva, being tortured to death by the Roman executioners. The sages were not aware that their conversation was overheard by a certain young man, Judah ben Gerim. At one time a disciple of Rabbi Shimon, Judah ben Gerim later turned spy for the Roman authorities. This treacherous man reported the conversation of the sages to the Roman authorities.

Rabbi Shimon fled for his life together with his son Rabbi Elazar. Without telling anyone of their whereabouts, they hid in a cave for thirteen years.

One day after Rabbi Shimon emerged he met Judah ben Gerim, the treacherous spy who had caused him so much trouble. Rabbi Shimon exclaimed, “Is this man still alive?” and soon afterwards Judah ben Gerim died.

Our Sages comment how Rabbi Shimon killed the spy. “Rabbi Shimon gazed at him and he turned into a heap of bones.” With his gaze, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai was able to suck out all the kedusha of the individual, like a mosquito sucking blood from a person. Similarly by the redemption, the kedusha was being drained out of Egypt and for this reason the Israelites had to hasten their leave.

According to the Mystiques, our job in this world is to uncover or perhaps increase the sparks of kedusha from elements and people that we encounter. Everything is covered by a shell (klipa). There are times when we can increase the kedusha from under these sparks, but there are also times when we can decrease kedusha; empty it of its holiness. The two examples we used were Egypt and the death of the spy by the gaze of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. In order for evil to exist it needs sparks of kedusha. For this reason all of our most notorious enemies have had in one sense or the other an association with G-d, the Torah or the Jewish people.

Shabtai Tzvi (1648), the false prophet whom we discussed a few weeks ago, began eating prohibited foods claiming he was able to bring out the spark of kedusha from these products even though in essence you can’t. When the Mashiach comes then we all will be able to eradicate those sparks. Apparently Shabtai Tzvi thought he was the Mashiach and gave his stamp of approval to do so. The Sages were suspect of his claim and thought otherwise. We have seen that all of Creation is composed of a mixture of good and evil. Likewise, in every food that a person eats there is a combination of good and evil. Food physically consists of good counterparts, i.e. nutrients, and bad aspects, i.e. waste or indigestible matter. Likewise, spiritually, food contains sparks of holiness, or good components, and husks, or kelipot, which are the gross, bad components that encompass the sparks.

Eating is one of our most common activities. It must be G-d’s Will that we are so involved in eating. There must be an important spiritual purpose to it. If we really can separate good from evil by eating correctly, then this purification has great ramifications upon all levels of reality.

HOW CAN WE INCREASE OUR ABILITY TO BE SUPER?

Let’s examine Noah. Noah was an ISH (man) TZADDIK (righteous person) TAMIM (who was completely righteous) (Genesis 6:9). The word ISH is a compliment in its own right, and the additional descriptions heap honor upon honor on Noah. No other personality is described with so many consecutive praises in one verse!

The first verse in the Book of Psalms teaches: “Fortunate is the man (ISH) who has not gone in the counsel of the wicked, and has not stood in the path of sinners, and has not sat in the company of scoffers.” The Midrash Socher Tov, in the name of Rabbi Yehuda, comments that the phrase “Fortunate is the man (ISH)” refers to Noah, since Noah is called ISH, as in our pasuk.

Why is Noah described as “fortunate”? According to the Midrash, Noah was fortunate in that he did not follow the ways of the three categories of people (wicked, sinners, scoffers) cited in Psalms. These three negative categories correspond to the three generations that arose in the world over the course of Noah’s lifetime: the generation of Enosh (Adam’s grandson, who initiated the practice of idolatry), the generation of the Flood (who were immersed in immoral behavior), and the generation of the dispersion (who built the Tower of Babel in order to wage war against G-d). It was Noah’s good fortune that he did not go in the path of any of these three generations.

The Midrash teaches us that Noah spent his entire life surrounded by evil and wickedness, yet he managed to make himself into one of the most righteous people who ever lived. This is a remarkable feat. How is it possible for a person to maintain such a high level of spirituality while surrounded by an environment of depravity and corruption?

A passage from the Talmud will help us resolve this question. Ben Zoma says, “Who is a wise person? One who learns from everyone.” (Avot 4:1). This is a strange statement. It seems reasonable for us to want to learn from righteous people, but what is wise about learning from the wicked?

The Berditchiver Rebbe remarks that righteous people are able to perceive positive qualities in even the most negative situations. From everything they encounter, they learn how to serve G-d better.

For example, if a righteous person were to witness someone passionately engaged in sinning, he would recognize and appreciate the tremendous motivating power of passion. However, instead of taking that power and using it to accomplish negative goals, the righteous person would redirect it for a meaningful purpose. The correct channeling of passion has the potential to change rote, sterile performance of God’s mitzvot into mitzvah observance driven by enthusiasm and fire! (Kedushat Levi, end of Parshat Bereishit.)

Noah epitomized this ability to channel negative forces toward a higher purpose. A hint to this idea is found in his name. The Torah tells us (Genesis 6:8) that Noah found chen (favor) in the eyes of God. The name NOAH (nun-chet), when reversed, spells CHEN (chet-nun)! Noah found favor in the eyes of God by mastering the art of reversal. He had the ability to redirect every energy from a negative goal to a positive one. All powers come from one source, and therefore they are all good; the only question is how they are used. It is written in our holy books, “Who is strong? One who conquers his self.” Our sages define conquering as channeling and redirecting, and that is what Noah did.

This is why a wise person learns from everyone. Instead of being corrupted by his evil generation, Noah used it as an opportunity for spiritual growth. He had the ‘best’ teachers available! All Noah had to do was learn to take their ingenuity, arrogance, passion, jealousy and zeal, and use them in a productive, constructive way to get closer to G-d.

The understanding from the writings of our great Sages is that each one of us has been created in our own unique way and each individual can reach to the highest spiritual superpower level by his own gifts and abilities. There must be a tremendous amount of Torah learning, refinement of character and acts of kindness. The secret is it has to be done measured correctly to our own self. We all can tap in to Kochot-powers that we didn’t know we had. If we hone our abilities we would be shockingly surprised with ourselves. By channeling different aspects of our character traits and shuffling around the different reservoirs of our personality we can master the world. This was Noah’s great ability. He was able to redirect kochot and channel the energy in a positive G-dly light

May we all learn how to transform the power of every energy into positive actions in order to become the best we can possibly be ….. and that can be enormously super!

So in conclusion there is no difference if one, the kabbalist, goes through evil or kosher route, since  all sources  originates from G-d. This is evident from the reliance Bilam  put on the Master of the Universe. What is important to note that we are able to transform a negativity to a positive light. Noach is the prime example of this. The other way around is also true, Furthermore, the kedusha in the world is not on the strength of yesteryear therefore the power of evil is not as strong. Good and evil are always equal.”

Tisha B’Av and the 9 days…let’s party!!!!

August 24, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of
Rabbi’s Yissachar frand, Baruch Dopelt
Fasting is not the easiest and the most popular aspect of Judaism, however, one is required unequivocally to do so. It’s part of the package deal. There are six fasts in our Jewish calendar year. The way to remember them is by this little rhyme: boy, girl, long, short, black and white. Boy is Tzom Gedalia; Girl is Ta’anit Esther; long is 17 of Tamuz (for it’s the longest); short is 10 of Tevet; White is Yom Kippur and black is the 9th of Av.
 Interestingly, black is always associated with the 9th of Av because of the major bad luck the Jewish nation had experienced.  Our sages teach that the ninth day of Av is a cursed day that is eternally destined for bad luck and tragedy.  Over the years we have wrote of tragedies that have fallen upon us starting from the three weeks leading up to the fast day. This year, perhaps what looms in many is the dangerous Iran nuclear deal with the United States which was finalized during this period. What a disaster!!

 The first nine days of the Hebrew month of Av, culminating with the fast of Tisha b’Av,  are days of national mourning, when we contemplate the nearly 2,000-year-long galut, the physical and spiritual displacement of our nation.
No one likes being sad. People gravitate to happy moments. We always reminisce subconsciously selecting and magnifying the good times of our lives and abandoning the unhappy moments. Interestingly, even when we recall a negative aspect of our past it’s usually sugarcoated and minimized. That’s human nature. We prefer the smiley Politician, the happy home maker, the cheery waiter, the polite banker.
 Though festivities are inappropriate for these days, there is one avenue of joy that is permitted-joy associated with serving G-d, the joy of a mitzvah, in particular a siyum (the completion of a tractate of the Talmud-which is both a mitzvah as well as an academic feat). In fact, the celebration of certain mitzvot overrides the sorrowful nature of the moment, and calls for a seudat mitzvah-a celebratory mitzvah meal during which course the mourning practices of these days are relaxed.  On those celebrations in particular meat which is usually prohibited during the 9 days is served. Some even allow music.
 My friend invited me to one of those; however, it seemed a little odd. I suspected since he being a big party goer and his neighborhood always is a little excessive of serving the best of everything at kiddushes, weddings, bar mitzvot, this invite was sort of forced out of sheer effort to party. A sham you might say; an excuse to eat pastrami and garlic hotdogs. Perhaps to say, hey we can do it in the confines of Halacha-HA- HA. However, there is a deeply rooted, mind boggling, reason for having this festive occasion during the nine days and it makes perfect logical sense!!!
There is a Gemara in tractate Shabbat that mentions Abaya – one of the prominent figures of the Talmud would pay for the celebration of his friend’s completion of a tractate and invite the entire Rabbinical body, making it a public display, even though it was thought to be a private event.
    There is a Chassidic tradition where there is participation in a siyum during each of these nine days!! The question is why? Why some do celebrate deliberately? Isn’t that act putting a slight on the mourning period; isn’t that insulting the ones who perished on account of that day? Isn’t that putting salt on the wound of the bitter pill our ancestors experienced? One has to realize the ramifications of these dark days. Tisha B’Av is brutal. Do people realize it’s Tisha B’Av!!
 Let’s examine a few famous incidences in our history in particular, Rabbi Akiva, Moshe and Apter Rebbe and perhaps we will get a better understanding of this action.
During the period of Sefirat HaOmer, 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva died. Our sages say it was because they did not show proper respect for one another [Yevamot 62b]. This seems to be a rather serious punishment for such a light offense. Why were they deserving of such harsh judgment?
 Perhaps, film writers took their romantic story line from this particular Gemara. It sure sounds familiar. The Talmud [Kesubot 62b] relates the story of an ignorant shepherd named Akiva, who Rachel – the daughter of the wealthy Kalba Savua wished to marry. She fell in love with him according to the Gemara, because he was “modest and a good person”. She knew that if he would apply himself to Torah studies, he would become a great scholar. Her father threatened that he would disown and disinherit her if she married such an ignoramus. She married him anyway. They were paupers for 24 years. We know the rest of the story.
Tosfot (one of the prominent commentaries in the Talmud) in Tractate Ketubot asks how it could be that the Gemara there describes Rabbi Akiva as a “good person” when the Talmud elsewhere [Pessachim 49b] says that Rabbi Akiva (when he was an ignoramus) used to hate Torah scholars and would (if he could) bite into them like a donkey.  Boy, that sounds familiar, it seems like history repeats itself. I know a few of those that have sharp teeth. Tosfot answers that Rabbi Akiva expressed this attitude not out of hatred for Torah scholars per se, but out of resentment that they kept themselves aloof from the masses. He perceived (perhaps erroneously) haughtiness on their part and therefore could not stand such perceived arrogance.
Tosfot means that Akiva was, in fact, a good person – so good that he could not tolerate it when others put on airs and looked down on the masses. He felt that this was an affront to other (simpler) people and – good person that he was – felt an urgency to defend the honor of even simple people who were ignoramuses.
Given the fact that Rabbi Akiva was such a righteous and pious individual when it came to defending the rights of even simple ignoramuses, the critique of his students was all that much greater for not following in their master’s footsteps regarding showing honor for their fellow students. For that harsh critique, they unfortunately died during the days of the Omer.
 So we see the important emphasis Rabbi Akiva places on “love thy fellow man like yourself”
Another interesting aspect of our concept of brotherly love is this story of the Chassidic Rabbi called the Apter Rebbe.
The Apter Rebbe was known by his book called Ohev Yisrael [lover of Israel]. The Apter Rebbe was, as the name of this book implies, an exceptional proponent of the commandment of loving one’s fellow Jew. He was accustomed to say that in every single Torah portion there is an allusion to Ahavat  Yisrael (the mitzvah of loving a fellow Jew).
One of his Chassidim came to him and asked where such allusion was to be found in Parshas Balak. A general reading of this parsha certainly turns up no such reference.
The Rebbe looked at the Chossid in surprise and told him there was an obvious allusion — the name BaLaK is an acronym for the words V’ahavta L’Reacha Kamocha [You shall love your neighbor as yourself] [Vayikra 19:18]! The Chossid looked at the Rebbe in surprise and protested, “But Rebbe, Balak is spelled Bet Lamed Kuf and the words in the pasuk [verse] teaching we should love our neighbor begin with the letters Vov Lamed Chaf? – You are matching a Bet with a Vov and a Kuf with a Chaf to make this allusion!” [The matched letters make the same sounds, but are different letters.]
The Apter Rebbe responded with something that was more than just a whimsical quip. He responded with a profound insight saying: “You have been my Chossid all these years. Haven’t you learned yet that when it comes to ‘Ahavat  Yisrael’, you can’t be so precise about the exact lettering “?
The Apter Rebbe knew very well how to spell Balak. But he was teaching his disciple the lesson that when it comes to Ahavat Yisrael, there must be an elasticity. We have to cut people flak. We have to be a little more tolerant, a little more open, a little more willing to bend.
Love thy neighbor like yourself requires tolerance, patience, this is what the Alter is trying to convey.
 
One of the most impressive displays of psychological tactics to subdue a nation in the history of the world was Pharaoh – the King of Egypt. By luring in the Israelites into slavery was a masterful plan. However, Pharaoh underestimated Moshe’s Empathy For His Brethren.
 The enslavement was so intense that even when Moshe came to Klal Yisrael to announce their impending redemption, the pasuk [verse] informs us that “They were unable to listen to him out of shortness of spirit and hard work.” [Shmot 6:9]
Rav Yonasan Eibeshutz [Tiferet Yonatan] asks why Pharaoh excused the entire Tribe of Levy from servitude. It seems uncharacteristic of the ruthless ruler to give such a courtesy. Rav Yonasan Eibeshutz answers that Pharaoh saw through his astrologers that the eventual redeemer of Israel would come from this tribe. Pharaoh reasoned that a person who was not part of the pain and suffering of the people would never be able to redeem them. Simply, he would not be able politically to rally the people behind him. The masses would discount his ability to lead them by virtue of the fact that he was not one with them during their time of suffering.
This indeed is how Rav Yonatan Eibeshutz interprets the above referenced pasuk. The people were not able to listen to Moshe because of the fact that they had experienced shortness of spirit and hard work – and he never had. Moshe lived in the lap of luxury. They were not ready to listen to him or to let him become their redeemer!
Pharaoh’s logic seemed very reasonable. So where did he go wrong? His error was that he underestimated what the Torah highlights as the most prominent character trait of Moshe. If we look back in Parshat Shmot, we notice that there is very little we are told about Moshe before he became the leader. We are told “Vayigdal Moshe” [Moshe grew up], which Rashi says means he became prominent in Pharaoh’s household – he became a prince. He could have stayed in the luxury of the palace and sufficed with saying a few chapters of Tehillim for his brethren. But Moshe went out. He went out to see what was happening with his brothers and he saw their suffering. He risked his life by killing the Egyptian, thereby taking part in the misery and the drama of his brethren’s enslavement. He identified not only with the “macro” suffering of his brothers, but with that of each individual, as indicated by his rescue of the unfortunate Jew being beaten by the Egyptian. Even when two Jews were fighting, he came to the rescue of the victim, again demonstrating his attribute of empathy and association for the burden of his fellow man (noseh b’ol chaveiro). In Midyan, he again came to the rescue of Yisro’s daughters because his personality could not tolerate oppression. Finally, we are told that he watered the flocks.
In all these descriptions, the Torah emphasizes over and over again that Moshe demonstrated the character trait that Pharoah thought he would never have – the attribute of empathy for the suffering of others. Logically, Pharaoh was right, but he underestimated Moshe’s strength of character that despite the fact that he was not part of the enslavement, he did feel the pain as acutely as anyone who experienced it personally.
 There are many examples we can bring from the Torah and the pattern all equals to AHAVAT YISRAEL. G-d is promoting unity. He didn’t destroy the generation of the tower of Bavel because the culprits showed some degree of unity. Can one imagine how G-d would feel if we showed a genuine feeling toward our brethren.
The Sages have said that the primary reason for the Temple’s destruction was the lack of love and harmony between Jews. Sharing in the joy of another, the one who completed the tractate, is a demonstration of Jewish unity-which reverses the cause for our predicament, and therefore brings it to an end. For this reason we purposely have the siyum. It is this action, the happy cherished moment even with people one doesn’t know, fixes what was broken and would turn the black Tisha B’Av into a united festive party.

Good cop – bad cop

July 6, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Yissachar frand, Pinchus Winston, Yossi Bilius
 .

Raising children is a handful. For the most part, it’s all too common, that each parent commits himself to play a different role in order to raise them in the best way possible. What tends to happen, naturally, one parent is strict and the other is lenient. It’s the old “good cop – bad cop” routine. My childhood friend’s mother would always frighten the boys by saying “I’m going to tell Abba”.  Their father was a hot tempered hard working man. The negotiation blackmail tactic always worked; the boys were scared. Between my parents, though, my mother was the strict one. Those who know my wife and me can take an educated guess on who wears the badge in the family. Interestingly, it’s a concept that is applied to many aspects of life and is the lifeblood of our relationship with G-d. We pray accordingly; we eat accordingly; we live accordingly to this concept. Ironically, many of us don’t even know it.

We see it in this week’s parsha.
 The kings of Moab and Midian, enemies for many generations, united for the purpose of a common attack upon the children of Israel. Balak, the newly elected king of Moab, had been put in charge of the plans.  Balak came to the conclusion “all the Israelites’ success could only be attributed to some form of magic”. He believed that the only way to destroy the victorious Jews was to outdo them in magic by a spell stronger than theirs.
Balak, therefore, sent messengers to Bilaam, the greatest magician of those days, asking him to come to Moab to curse the people of Israel.
  As the parsha progresses, we see that Bilaam was unsuccessful in cursing the Jewish people. But, as a last ditch effort, he told Balak, “Balak, I have a plan for you. The G-d of the Jews cannot tolerate promiscuity. I recommend that you hire the daughters of Midyan to seduce the Jewish men. They would then be in violation of the will of their G-d, which will cause Him to become angry against them.” In this plan, he was indeed successful and there was a plague in which thousands of people died. This was his parting shot against the Jewish people.
We know one of the Jewish character  traits that G-d holds in high esteem is modesty. Why would the Jewish men actually take the bait and get seduced by the non-Jewish women? After all this was a superior generation. So it seems odd that Bilaam would pursue that route knowing that his chances are slim. Perhaps he knew something that we don’t know.
Bilaam’ pursuit of this idea was even more strange since we learned that he was impressed with the modesty and morality of the Jewish people. He uttered the words “How goodly are your tents O’ Jacob; your dwelling places O’ Israel.” Our Sages say he was impressed with the privacy that each tent provided their neighbors – no door was open opposite the entrance of the neighboring tent.
 Given that, what gave Bilaam the impression that the daughters of Midyan would have success in their immoral attempts to seduce the men of Israel?
The Sifrei Kabbalah cites Sanhedrin 105b, which asks why Bilaam, this high priced sorcerer, was unable to curse Klal Yisrael. The Gemara explains that Bilaam’s power in “knowing the Mind of the High One” was that he could sense the fleeting moment in each day that G-d became angry. The Sages say there is a brief “regah” [instant] in every day when the Almighty becomes angry at the Jewish people. Bilaam knew how to pinpoint that moment. But G-d granted them special protection by not allowing Himself to become angry during the entire period when Bilaam was hired to curse them. About this the prophet teaches: “My nation, recall pleases what was the plan of Balak – King of Moav and what Bilaam – son of Beor responded to him. From Shitim until Gilgal, in order to know the righteousness of G-d.” [Micha 6:5]. The Talmud teaches, “What was the righteousness of G-d (referred to by the prophet)? G-d told the Jews: ‘You should know this entire period in which Bilaam tried to curse you; I changed My Behavior which I have practiced from the 6 Days of Creation and I never became angry during this time frame. Had I become angry during the period like I normally do (albeit for an instant) there would not have remained a single Jew left!'”
  However, the fact that G-d did not get angry triggered Bilaam to devise a brilliant plan. The way the world operates is that too much love is not a good thing either. Unbridled love, un-channeled love, unchecked love can lead to disastrous results. It can lead to promiscuity. It can lead to love relationships between two people that are not appropriate. Therefore, this tremendous emanation of this spirit of Love can be perverted. What is the antidote? The antidote is that “G-d becomes angry every single day” (Kel Zoem b’chol yom). This anger serves as a counter balance to the feelings of uninhibited and unchecked love. This Divine injection of momentary anger is what keeps the world in equilibrium. That is why there can be the proper love and the channeled love, and the love to the right people.
When Bilaam saw that his curses were not getting through and he realized that G-d was not getting angry, he said “Aha! When there is no counterbalance to the love, the situation is ripe for promiscuity.” Based on that he understood that the time was ripe for this very private, very modest Klal Yisrael to be seduced and corrupted by the daughters of Midyan.
 
 When the Torah in Achrei Mot describes the prohibited relationship between sister and brother, it uses a very peculiar language: “Chessed Hu”. Is it not strange that an illicit relationship should be called “Chessed” (which normally means ‘kindness’)? The answer is that when there is an illicit love in inappropriate places, the love has gone wild. It is Chessed – kindness, love; but it can exceed appropriate boundaries and be forbidden.
This is why Bilaam was confident that he would be able to entrap Klal Yisrael.
This Kaballistic idea has an application to us as well. Love must be checked and balanced. We need to maintain the “right hand which draws near and the left hand which pushes away.” We need to employ this principle with our children. We love our children immensely. We want to shower them with love and give them as much as we can and treat them as well as we can. But again, if that “Ahava” [love] is unchecked without a counter-balance of appropriate discipline and appropriate putting them in their place when the situation demands, it can be as destructive as the lack of ‘Ahava’.
Thus, Kabbalah speaks of two primary lights: Chesed and Gevurah, whose natures are complete opposites. Chesed (Kindness, love) usually translates into mercy, is compared to water which flows without boundary, though it is considered to be quiet and peaceful. Gevurah (Strength) usually results in strict judgment, on the other hand, is compared to fire and the source of tzimtzum, the constriction of G-d’s light, like the glass that contains and gives shape to water.  Tifferet brings a wonderful balance based upon the two of them called Chesed shel Emet, “Truthful Chesed.” It is the best of both worlds, because as we have seen, both Chesed and Gevurah in extreme measure are destructive. Too much Chesed can deny the recipient a sense of self and independence, and too much Gevurah can deny a person the assistance he needs. Too much “right hand” means the child will never learn discipline; too much “left hand” will mean the child will never learn love.
 Throughout the year as well as daily, Chesed and Gevurah manipulate the time and it’s our duty, to the best of our ability, to take advantage of the moment. For example, the time for chessed is from chatzot – midnight till midday and the time for Gevurah is midday to midnight. For this reason we say slichot-forgiveness for our sins (prayers said before the high holy days) between midnight and the morning hour where G-d bestows his mercy in the world. We have to take advantage of the mercy moments!! This would be the best option for forgiveness. We now see how Chessed and Gevurah influence our lives on a daily bases.
  There are a few observations about Chessed and Gevurah that should be noted:
On the topic of counting, we have a tradition; interestingly enough, that blessing only comes to things that are not counted (Bava Metzia 42a). In fact, sometimes counting results in just the opposite-in curse-which is why, in Parashas Ki Tisa, the Jewish people were not counted directly but through their contributions of a half-shekel-silver coin.
This is not something to be taken lightly, and it is why people in the know, when trying to ascertain if 10 people are available for a minyan, do not directly count people, but the shirts they are wearing, or by assigning one word of a 10-word verse to each person. When all the words are used up, 10 people have been counted.
But, why should counting make a difference to one’s level of blessing? The Zohar explains this as well:
The Upper Blessing comes from the side of Chesed, and all measuring and counting is from the side of Gevurah, which is a matter of measurement and limits … (Ibid.)
 Thus, to count something is to apply Gevurah to it. It is to define the thing and to limit it, and to yank it from the world of Chesed and blessing to the side of Gevurah and constriction, the domain of the Sitra Achra. For, the Sitra Achra, the source of the yetzer hara and evil in the world, can only exist in a reality where G-d’s light is constricted, which happens when something is counted.
 Another interesting observation that one may not have been aware of is the ketoret, a prayer we recite three times a day describing the incense that was burned in the Temple.
 The Arizal says that when one recites the Ketoret with accuracy it inspires teshuvah-repentance and is a source for parnassa and refuah shelema.
Since Gevurot by their very nature are considered “difficult” and “hard,” terms associated with the Divine judgment they invoke (judgment is considered to be the opposite of kindness), therefore they are also represented by hard substances. When a hard substance is ground into a fine powder, as in the case with the ingredients of the Ketoret, it is also called a “weakening” or “sweetening” of the Gevurot.
The finely ground Ketoret mixture represents the sweetening of the Gevurot, and therefore a more favorable judgment. This is why, according to Kabbalah, the Incense mixture is returned to the grinding bowl once again Erev Yom Kippur to be ground down even more finely which is why Yom Kippur is considered to be such a special time of Divine mercy.
We see the concept of Chessed and Gevurah is applied to much in our daily lives. As we learned there has to be a happy balance (tifferet). Too much Chessed or too much Gevurah can be disastrous. For this reason, when both parents are strict or both parents are lenient that makes the recipe for a disaster. Although both parents have to be on the same page, same philosophy, however, the style is recommended to be different.  Who wares the badge in your family?