| This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s, Yonossan Zweig, Berrel Wein, Yossi bilus, Akiva Tatz, Asher Hurzberg, Ilan Feder |
  Does the message of Pesach have any relevance in today’s day and age?
Why is the Halach Ma’anya written in Aramaic?
When is the best time to say Halach Ma’anya?
How do we answer the question that the four sons ask?
The much anticipated, much glorified, and if you’re a housewife (or for that matter in today’s day and age houseman) somewhat scary holiday is at our threshold. Pesach! Such wonderful childhood memories invoke yours truly of this glorious holiday. I must say my parent did a fine job; the singing, the rituals, the education, the entertainment, the tradition, the food! A package deal is what my parents so artfully delivered to us every Pesach. We didn’t go away like most families. The home always had a very intimate flavor that naturally glorified the holiday so much more than any vacation package in Florida could offer.
Pesach marks the uniqueness of the Jewish people – a people delivered from centuries of bondage through miraculous Heavenly intervention. One of the main functions of Pesach is to connect us to an event that occurred millennia ago in a distant land.
  However, if one doesn’t have the fond child memories, the natural inclination of people is to feel disconnected to that event. Even if there were memories, they may be “lukewarm”, so to speak, so how can one muster the stamina to sit through an entire Seder? How much juice is left in the clown outfit that the father wears, the Uncle Moishe type Seders with lots of singing, or as what my son’s past Pre-1A Rebbi who suggested, having little plastic frogs and use small super balls for the plagues to stimulate the interest in the kids? Even the classic traditions like hitting each other with scallions during the recitation of “Dayenu” can grow “stale” over time. There are some who even march around the table carrying a sack of cloths as if they left Egypt. All these props are childish but loads of fun and carry much great memories. Nevertheless, is it enough to keep the interest? Life is such that kids grow up, Teens grow up and need more sophisticated stimulation. They start asking serious question. What do we do then? This is implicit in the questions raised in the section of the Hagadah devoted to the four sons. Their basic question is: “What is the relevance of this long-ago event to me?” And this has remained the basic question in all of Jewish life throughout the ages.z
The enormous number of Jews who are completely disconnected from their faith and their people, from their homeland of Israel and from the values and observances of Torah, testifies to the intensity of the difficulty posed by this question. They say “If the Exodus from Egypt does not speak to me, then the rest of Judaism is pretty immaterial to me as well.”
Perhaps, one can take a look at some cues in the Hagadah where one can seek a valuable lesson and the answer to that age old question of “What’s the relevance!?”
  As we begin the Maggid – the telling over of the story of our history section of the Seder, we recite the very peculiar paragraph of Halach Ma’anya. Although it is a unique moment for every individual sitting at the Seder who each actually have their own turn to simultaneously say the proclamation and to physically hold the Matzahs, surprisingly enough, the recitation is not in Hebrew. Why do we recite it in Aramaic? It is a language no one understands!!
Secondly, one of the messages in the short paragraph is that we invite whoever is hungry to come and eat – “kol dichfin yesei v’yeichol”, and whoever requires a place to eat Korban Pesach to come and partake – “kol ditzrich yesei v’yifsach”. So, aside from the language issue, this invitation is not only presented at the wrong time, for Kiddush has already been recited and the meal has already begun, but it’s in the wrong place as well, for it is issued in the privacy of our own homes. If we want to invite people, perhaps we should recite the proclamation out on the street and catch some of the passersby where then we’ll invite them in. Furthermore, to partake in the Korban Pesach one had to be a member of the group from the time the Korban was slaughtered earlier in the day. What purpose do this invitation serve?
WHY LAVAN?
One of the conversations which we discuss at the start is about the individual “Lavan HaArami” the brother and no-goodnik of our sacred matriarch Rivka. Why start with him, out of all people, when we have some of the most colorful characters in history in our past? Purim was just a few weeks ago. Let’s use Haman instead!
 The Torah describes Lavan as a “ramai” – trickster.” The entire region was known for this quality; the Hebrew letters of the word “Aram” when rearranged spell the Hebrew word “ramai”. A ramai is not the same as a “ganav” – “thief”. A thief maintains no pretenses that his actions are in the victim’s best interest. A ramai is a confidence man, possessing the ability to deceive the victim into believing that he is gaining from the actions of the ramai. It is only later that the victim realizes that he has been victimized. The ability to perpetrate such a crime requires the ramai to know exactly what the victim is thinking, to see the victim’s perspective. He has to be an expert on human psychology. It’s a sensitivity issue that the ramai has to proficient in. This quality of sensitivity can be utilized in a positive manner. The greatest “chesed” – “acts of kindness” are performed by an individual who is sensitive to the needs of the recipient.
One of our forefather Avraham, the first Jew, greatest achievements is when he hosted the three angels. It was tremendous feat of kindness. It just so happens that the pinnacle of chesed incident, the “hosting the three angels” occurred on Pesach. Interestingly, a year later on the very day of Pesach G-d destroyed the city of S’dom and Amora (Sodom and Gomorra to use the English names for them). These two cities represented the antithesis of chesed.
A Jew essence is built on the philosophy of chesed this was passed down from Avraham. The importance of the virtue of kindness is immeasurable. We find that our Patriarch Avraham made it his number one priority by sending his trusted servant Eliezer to find his beloved son a wife. The prime directive is that she should possess is the quality of chesed.
 Incredibly, with the negative environment surrounding her it seemed miraculous that Rivka emerged as quintessence fit for Avraham’s family of chesed and for his heir apparent, his son Yitzchak.
How can that happen? How did Avraham know that a treasure lies among the swamps? The mainstream commentary, Rashi, sites that the Torah in its repetition of where Rivka came from praises her by noting that although she had been brought up in such adverse surroundings, she was not influenced by the actions of the wicked. Generally, Rashi’s comment is understood to mean that in spite of her environment she was able to maintain her righteousness. Analyzing the Midrash we see however that this cannot be the entire meaning of the message, for the Midrash from which Rashi derives his comment cites the verse in King Shlomo’s Shir Hashirim to describe Rivka’s qualities “kashoshana bein hachochim” – “like a rose among the thorns.” If the intent of the Midrash is to point out that Rivka retained her righteousness in the face of adversity, then the thorns would represent the adversity. This analogy is difficult for the rose does not thrive in spite of the thorns, rather because of the thorns that protect it and allow it to thrive. What then is the message of the verse?
Sensitivity is an important trait in elevating ourselves in developing relations with G-d and our fellow man. The greatest “chesed” – “acts of kindness” are performed by an individual who is sensitive to the needs of the recipient. Although Aram was notorious for their trickery, Avraham wanted a wife for Yitzchak who would possess this same sensitivity that a Lavan uses for his trickery, when performing kindness. It was this genetic quality that Avraham wanted to infuse into Klal Yisroel, and it was this quality that Eliezer was looking for when testing Rivka. This is the message of the Midrash; the thorns reflect the quality of the “ramai” by which Rivka was surrounded, but which enabled her to achieve the great levels of chesed of which only she was able. She had the gift of sensitivity as did her brother. However she used it for kindness and good while her brother used it for trickery and evil.
  Many of us are proud to host guest on Shabbat and Holidays. We have to understand that a guest or for that matter a family member is very special on Pesach, for the objective is to perform for them a mitzvah of the highest level, which is the section in the Seder called “Maggid”. The Pesach Seder is a celebration of our redemption and we are all guests of honor. To prevent the guests from feeling beholden to the “Baal Habayit” (host) which would hinder, and repress their involvement and participation in the evening, we begin the Seder by allowing the guests to invite others. The Talmud states “ein oreyach machnis oreyach” – “a guest is not permitted to invite other guests.” However, a guest of honor has the right to invite whomever he chooses. The message we are relaying to all the participants is they are not merely guests obligated to the homeowner. Rather, they are all guests of honor, celebrating their own redemption. It is imperative that all the guests feel comfortable, for they have to speak freely and engage in the conversations of the evening to fulfill the mitzvah of “Tzipur Yetzias Mitzrayim” – Maggid. In the same vein, the Tosafot Yom Tov had a custom to spill wine on the clean tablecloth so that the guests would feel at ease. The purpose of the invitation is for the guests already assembled, not for those who are absent.Rashi explains the term “chesed” as an Aramaic word meaning “shame”. However, in Hebrew “chesed” means “kindness”, a term with positive connotations. When a person does chesed he receives fulfillment from the act, while the recipient feels shame. The Hebrew and Aramaic meanings are therefore not contrary, but, in fact, complementary. The Hebrew translation focuses on the perspective of the giver while the Aramaic translation focuses on the perspective of the recipient. By using the Aramaic word “chesed”, the Torah is teaching us that when we do chesed, we should be SENSITIVE to the recipient’s shame. This way, we will do chesed in a manner which will diminish the recipient’s shame. It is therefore appropriate to begin the Seder in Aramaic for this is the language that symbolizes the sensitivity of seeing the perspective of another.
The prime directive is to make the guest or family member feel as comfortable as possible so he’ll have the inner strength to “ask”. Much of the Seder is designed to sprout those feelings. One of the reasons we drink the four cups of wine is for that very reason. Everyone is born with a certain defense mechanism where he or she has to a certain degree a feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way. We just don’t disclose our deepest and darkest secrets to the world. It’s unbecoming. Wine, though, has the some element within to relieve ones inhibitions. We, depending how much is consumed, let our guard down when we drink wine. This is the optimal scenario at the Seder night for we are not afraid to ask questions; its designed that way. We have to be pro-active in conversation, speaking of course about Jewish or Torah topics. All of a sudden, everyone at the Seder is your friend. Wine brings unity. We just have to be careful not to drink a little too much, not to spill the beans. For this reason we are forbidden to drink with non-Jews. We have to realize our place and our commitment to G-d.
Aside from the sensitivity required of the host to give the participants the feeling that they are guests of honor, the very nature of Tzipur Yetzias Mitzrayim – the telling of the story requires seeing the perspective of another. The mitzvah must be performed “derech she’eilah uteshuvah” – “by question and answer”, i.e. the Socratic Method. The only way for such an approach to be effective is if the listener is sensitive to the questions being posed. Very often a person’s only interest is to make heard what he is thinking, and he does not address the question at all. The most important Jewish literary work after the Torah is the Talmud. The Talmud is also presented in the Socratic Method, question and answer. It is therefore most appropriate that the Talmud is written in Aramaic and in the region of Aram for this is the language and region that lends itself to seeing the perspective of others, crucial when attempting to respond to the queries and difficulties which are the basis of the Talmud. In other words, the Seder is all about questions. This is represented by the Four Sons.
So, what do we answer the Four Sons?
Incredibly the Hagadah is out of character answering the Rasha, Wicked Son. It is very negative to him. What happened to super-duper outreach? The Rasha is treated that way because he is negative. He asks a question but he doesn’t seem to seek an answer. Therefore his question is not a question, it’s a statement. Seemingly, he doesn’t want to listen. Even more so, the Rasha is making fun of it all. The Torah does not want have anything to do with scoffers and distractors. However the other sons are sincere about seeking an answer and should be approached differently.
Our fun ancient traditions, such as the scallions at the recitation of “Dayenu”, the sack on the shoulder, as well as our creative razzle dazzle new props of today, plastic frogs and so forth are right on the money in answering the question. Granted the Hagadah has the answers describing our illustrious past and describing some of our ancestor’s pain and triumph, however, frankly I’ve been in this business many years and pardon me if I’m a little bold when I say there are more Jews returning to Judaism after spending a Shabbat meal and experiencing the warmth of a family then an intellectual debate whether G-d exist.
We are human and not perfect. You, the host, may not have all the all answers to the questions but it’s irrelevant for the true answer lies with the kindness, warmth and sensitivity. That’s the answer they want to hear. Then they will hear the Exodus, the Matzah speak to them with all the traditions and all its glory.
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