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I want the Bracha First!!!

January 30, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon Jewish Values No comments

This article was constructed with the help of Dr. Robert Goldman, Psychologist of Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim and Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Eliezer Finkleman, Yitzchak Aminov

Who doesn’t want to receive a bracha from their beloved father or grandfather? It’s a big honor. One gets a feeling of warmth and an awareness that the bracha has been passed down for many generations, for thousands of years. It’s beautiful!!

Interestingly, though, what happens when the beloved patriarch wants to give a more important bracha to your younger sibling? How would you feel? Would you feel slighted? Does one still have that warm feeling?

We have an ancient tradition, and many would say, one of the most beautiful customs in Jewish life is for parents to bless their children at the start of the Friday night Shabbat meal. What makes it more important is it’s done at Shabbat table which is designed to be the grand stage for family communication and family love, especially in todays fast pace lifestyle where one doesn’t communicate with his family all week. Girls receive the blessing: “May God make you like the matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.” Boys, meanwhile, are blessed “to be like Ephraim and Menashe.”
What happened to the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?! Why were Ephraim and Menashe chosen instead as the subjects of this important tradition?

In this week’s parsha, the last in the book of Sefer Bereshit, we see a very interesting pattern, the rejection of the first-born. When Yosef brought his two sons for a blessing from Yaacov, his father, who was old and ready to pass on, he did something very peculiar. Yaacov crossed his arms so that Efraim, who was the youngest, would be under his right hand and Menashe, who was older and purposely placed by Yosef at his grandfather’s right, got the left. Yaacov, who emphasized that Menashe also received a nice bracha, gave the more important blessing to Efraim.

We see through history that the first born, the well-respected elder, receives double the inheritance, losing, on many occasions, the status in which he inherited. This was apparent in the first generation of the world; Cain was the oldest; however Hevel got the reward. We know that Shem, (where our ancestors come from) one of three sons of Noach, was not the first-born. Abraham passed the baton to Isaac, the youngest, and not to Yishmael. The same is said about Isaac’s sons, Eisav, who was the bechor, but Yaacov was the brother chosen. Reuben, the eldest of the twelve tribes, neither got the first-born rights, the kingdom nor the kehuna (high priest).

First and foremost, the Torah is trying to emphasize that even though the first-born has changed the status of man and has made him a father of this precise bechor, nevertheless, the bechor has to earn the benefits that has been bestowed upon him. There’s no freebee; no job is safe. Apparently, it’s a demanding role and has to be maintained to the highest standard, or else he loses it.

There is a puzzling question: Okay, we learn “one has to earn his brownie points and nothing is a freebee” from the tragic story of Cain and Hevel, but the Torah keeps on harping the same pattern over and over. Why? We learned the lesson. Perhaps one didn’t get it the first time, so the Torah wants to accommodate those slow thinkers and present similar storyline; possibility?

Ephraim and Menashe represent a break from this pattern. This explains why Yaacov purposely switched his hands, blessing the younger Ephraim before the older Menashe: there was no

resentment from Menashe. He was ok with it!! There was no jealousy; he didn’t feel slighted. This was a tremendous revelation. Yaacov wished to emphasize the point that with these siblings, there is no rivalry. For this reason Menashe and Efraim both received their own tribe. They were the only grandchildren to receive this recognition. It was a tremendous act of respect on Yaacov’s part to give them such honor. He knew what refined character they both had.

The book of Bereshit concludes with the positive unity of Menashe and Ephraim as one of its lead story. After all the sibling rivalry which we encountered, mankind finally got it right. For this reason, the Torah goes out of its way in the beginning of the second book of Shemot, to relay a conversation between G-d and Moshe pertaining Moshe’s appointment as leader of the Israelites. Moshe was concerned that his older brother will be slighted. He was afraid he would be humiliated. After all, he was the leader of the nation until that point. Although Aharon did nothing wrong as leader, it was evident, one didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to realize Moshe was born with unusual gifts and was destined to be the redeemer. We see Aharon’s greatness was to recognize Moshe’s ability and to realize he would be best for the nation of Israel. Aharon was happy to step down. It was totally a selfless and courageous act.

One has to realize that it’s not so simple to overcome such a test. In fact, it’s one of the CHULSHAT ENOSH human weaknesses. There are a number of very interesting stories in our history pertaining to this test.

The great HILLEL came to Israel from Babylonia. His activity of forty years likely covered the period of 30 BC to 10 AD. As soon as he came, everyone realized how great he was. He answered all the questions that was presented to him and knew all the Jewish discourses that was presented to him cold. It seemed like Shmaya and Avtalyon, the leading Rabbis, also realized that he was far greater than they. In response to his presence they resigned their position as leading Rabbis, relinquishing the mantle of leadership to him. A generation later the famous Rabbi Yehuda the NASI-prince, the leader of the Jews of his generation and the author of the Mishna said it would be most difficult, for me, to give up the position of president. I would not be able to relinquish the honor. Kol Hakavod to Shmaya and Avtalyon for placing the welfare of the Jewish people in front of their life time achievements, goals and pride.

Being the leading Rabbi has always been in the forefront throughout our history. In every corner of the world the head Rabbi was traditionally always recognized as the authority. It commands tremendous respect but with it he takes upon himself tremendous responsibility.

In the 1700’s, there was a large Jewish community in Prague headed by Rabbi Yechezkel Laundau. The position of head Rabbi was traditionally chosen by vote. Rabbi Laundau narrowly beat out Rabbi Zorach, who was also tremendous Torah scholar. Rabbi Zorach was not satisfied. He felt he would be the better choice in serving the community. On the first Shabbat of Rabbi Laudau’s new position, Rabbi Zorach asked him a question in front of the congregation that he could not answer. It was clearly an embarrassing moment right at the start of his tenure. He came home and cried himself to sleep. His father, who had passed away some time ago, came to him in a dream where Rabbi Laundau disclosed to him his anguish over the question asked by Rav Zorach. His father said “Son you will find the answer of the question in the Tosfot in this particular tractate of the Talmud,” disclosing the page. The next morning sure enough the answer was there. He then showed it to Rav Zorach who himself was not aware of the Tosfot answer. He then asked him “how did you figure out the answer?” When he found out about his father coming to him from the next world to give him the answer and save face in front of the congregation, he rationalized if the other world is interfering with matters of this world and providing answers so Rav Laundau can keep his position then perhaps this is what the heavens want; this is what is suppose to be. He then gave up the quest to overthrow Rabbi Laundau and eventually became a staunch supporter of him.

Rav Zorach could have rationalized the situation differently. We tend to look at everything to our favor. If man develops a liking to a certain view, he can make a straight line look crooked.

It’s too simplistic to blame the individual alone for being selfish. It’s a lot more complex. One has many pressures. On occasion, the wife and other family members get involved, egging the person not to give up. Perhaps they would feel slighted by the individual not being chosen. One, at times, succumbs to pressure. What starts out as a sincere project often ends up as an egotistical struggle; it’s scary, however, we tend to be drawn in to this natural human nature deficiency.

One of the most sensitive person that I have ever met, who worked and stressed good character traits was the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim Rav Henoch Liebowitz t’zl.

At his Eulogy, one of the eulogizers said something mind boggling. He quoted Rav Henoch saying that “the toughest decision that I ever made was to pass over the position of Rosh Yesiva to his own chosen heir apparent.”

Here is a man well into his eighties knowing well he cannot function as the head Rabbi because of health issues, has difficulty giving up the mantle.

It’s not so easy!!

We now can appreciate and acknowledge that Menashe was a remarkable human being and the same can be said of Aharon.

Qualities We Should All Have and A Leader Most Certainly Have…

January 28, 2014 Rabbi Avi Matmon Chanuka, Jewish Values, Sensitivity To Others No comments

What president, prime minister, rabbi, community leader would you vote for? What qualities should he/she have?

Let’s look at the weekly parsha, Mikeitz, our current holiday, Chanukah, and this week’s anniversary of a tragic event in order to fully understand what we look for, and should look for, in a leader.

YOSSEF THE DREAMER….was that his claim to fame? We see he became a leader for interpreting Pharaoh’s dream but what propelled him to be considered a leader?

This past week we commemorate the 50th anniversary of the assassination of John F Kennedy, who was the President of the United States at the time.

A new national poll finds John F. Kennedy is the most popular president of the last half century. The CNN/ORC International survey found 90 percent of all Americans approve of how Kennedy handled his job as president. No other president of the last half century even comes close. However if one looks at his accomplishments during his short tenure as president its mediocre at best. So why was he so popular?

Granted,, Kennedy’s untimely end may play a part in his popularity. He’s become enshrined as a martyr, particularly in Democratic households. But William McKinley was another popular, energetic president cut down by an assassin’s bullet. He faded from the popular mind in a way JFK has not.

Kennedy had style but not substance. A poll was taken of the radio listeners and television viewers of his presidential debate with Richard Nixon. The radio listeners of the debate favored Nixon; those who watched on television thought Kennedy won. True, much of the adulation for Kennedy during his life and since, originated in arguably superficial attributes; his youth, personal attractiveness and sophistication and many of us are seduced by those traits. The country was hypnotized by his Hollywood looks and his beautiful young family and he took advantage of the media any chance he got. His press conferences were interesting, compelling and humorous. It seems the thing that gave Kennedy’s such greate success was the thing that his detractors often criticized, his charisma. He had such a feel for the importance of inspirational leadership and the willingness to use it to great ends. But his election at age 43 to succeed the 70-year-old Dwight D. Eisenhower represented a generational shift in American leadership that was as much a source of popular excitement as Kennedy’s individual qualities. As he said in his inaugural address, “the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans – born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace”.

My mother told me that my father cried the day Kennedy was assassinated and many I spoke to said their parents did the same. However Rabbi Baruch Dopelt quotes his mother ” if I knew then what I know now about the immoral things he did then I would not of had the same sad tears”. At the time Kennedy famously came across as caring about his family and about the nation.

The brothers sold Yossef and he wound up in Egypt and then, after a period of living in master Potifar’s house as the head butler, ended up in jail. In jail Yossef met two Individuals, the head butler and the head baker.

The attribute of caring for others was Yossef’s ticket out of jail and eventually lead to his appointment by Pharaoh as Viceroy of the superpower of the world, Egypt. As we read in last week’s parsha (40:7) there were 4 words that Yossef uttered “MADUA PENECHEM RAIM HAYOM?”-why are you so sad today? The caring, sincere concern, which they sensed, of Yosef towards the 2 jailed officers of Pharaoh enabled them to open up to him and eventually disclose their personal dreams.

We see in this parsha as well, It says (41,56) “VAYISHBOR LE’MITZRAIM”- Joseph opened all the containers of stored food during the famine yearshimself and gave the people. Again we see an act of caring on Yossef’s part.

Mr. Yehuda Fouzailoff, a prominent founder of the Bukharian community in New York, said one such person who fits that description is his brother-in-law, Mr. Hannan Benyamini. Hannan, as he was lovingly known, was one of the few who was recognized by just his first name, cared very much about his community. “People sensed his sincerity and perhaps this quality was one that made him so successful as a leader. He was then able then to spread different tasks among prominent individuals in the close-knit community”. Mr. Fouzailoff continues “I never saw a leader quite like him. His goal was to bring individuals to synagogue on a weekly basis. Because this was the Jewish thing to do; it worked! Every week after the services there was a Kiddush. The wives came to help; they cut vegetables for Israeli salad which combined well with the Shabbat eggs”. This warm, caring and homey environment eventually grew to a very big gathering on Shabbat and eventually the enormous community it is now.”

This caring quality is evident throughout our Torah especially as a prelude to leadership. Both Moshe and David spent time as shepherds in order to fine tune their character for caring. The ingredient for caring comes from humility. One has to be subservient to his people; they come first.

How many times did Moshe attempt to sacrifice himself for the sake of the Jewish people? David didn’t care about his honor by dancing for the sake of G-d. There were those who didn’t think it was dignified. Nevertheless, G-d was honored by David’s devotion.

It says that Yossef was cold to his brothers when they greeted him. Although they did not recognize him, he recognized them. Later on though it said Yossef could not hold back the tears and disclosed to them who he was.

What soften Yossef from his cold feeling towards his brothers? What changed his attitude towards them?

A very important growing experience, among the brothers, occurred in this week’s parsha. Lets examine the verses.

Yaacov was hesitant to send Benyamin, his youngest son and the son of his most beloved wife Rachel, to Egypt. The viceroy, Yossef, who’s real identity was not yet disclosed to Yaacov and his sons, offered a proposition. If Yaacov’s family would like to purchase food, the youngest brother had to travel with the other brothers down to Egypt. This did not sit very well with Yaacov, considering that Benyamin’s older bother from the same mother, was already lost in Egypt. It wasn’t until Yehuda’s guarantee that if he does not return Benyamin unharmed then he will lose his share in OLAM HABA-the next world, that Yaacov acquiesced to their request.

For thousands of years ever since then, the tribe of Yehuda would act as a protector for the tribe of Benyamin. As a matter of fact, this is the reason that their tribes are adjacent to each other in their respective territories in Yerushalayim. Most Jews today are from these two neighboring tribes.

When Yossef saw how Yehuda, who was from a different mother, cared for and protected his little brother Benyamin; how he was willing to give up his life both in this world and his olam habah, he realized they have grown , matured and learned to care deeply for each other. He thought now I forgive them. Now is the time to reunite.

I heard a beautiful story at the eulogy for Rabbi Joseph Grunblatt this past week.

It was right before the first scud missile attack where the mad man, Saadam Hussain was threatening to launch these weapons into Israel. One of the congregants of Rabbi Grunblatt synagogue, the Queens Jewish Center, called with a concern. Apparently his son was learning in a Yeshiva in Israel for the year. The father wanted to know how soon can he bring him home back to the states before the rocket attack starts in the following week. Rabbi Grunblatt said “I thought you were going to ask me how long should he stay, perhaps another year!!. He will be fine there.”

Well the following Sunday, when the evil monster Hussain promised to launch the attack, the parents of this boy were glued to the TV set watching CNN coverage and there was a knock on the door. It was Rabbi Grunblatt. He wanted to sit with the parents and see the coverage with them.

As one knows their history, Israel was able to intercept the majority of the scuds. Miraculously we had not one fatality throughout the whole ordeal.

Rabbi Grunblatt apparently thought their child was in no danger from the scud attack. This is exactly what the Greeks wanted to accomplish in the Chanukkah story. They wanted us to abandon our spirituality. They wanted to take away the Torah that we learn. Torah is what makes us Jewish. We are not prepared to do that. We would not let them succeed.

The good Rabbi also showed humanity; he showed he cared and he showed what any good leader should do.

Rav Ovadia and the American Jews

October 27, 2013 Rabbi Avi Matmon G-d and Us, Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

Excerpts from the shiurim of Rabbi’s Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt
also contributing Rafi Sharbat and Rafi Fouzailoff

Rav Ovadya Yosef, one of the greatest Rabbis of this generation, passed away last week. The impact of his legacy was evident by the attendance at his funeral which was the largest in the history of the State of Israel. An unprecedented 800,000 people witnessed it. I guess it would be an understatement to say that he was pretty popular in Israel, but what about here, in the United States. Was he popular here? Did his teachings and influence impact your life? The answer is no. He was not as influential on our daily lives as he was there. But, do not fear. That is ok. We don’t need that influence. Now, you may be saying to yourself “Rabbi, do you realize what you are saying?!? Of course we need the leadership of this Rav and all of the greatest Tzaddikim who have lived, and continue to live, until now, Ad Yimei Hamashiach – until the days of Moshiach.” And you would be correct in stating that we need to have them but let me explain.

There is an important lesson which can be derived from the neighboring parshiot of Lech-Lecha and, our parsha of this week, Vayera which will shed some light on the legacy of Rav Ovadya. Even more important, we can see the implications of a very important lesson which we should apply to our everyday lifestyle.

Rav Ovadia was a former chief Rabbi of Israel and the spiritual leader and founder of the Orthodox Shas party that has an authoritative voice in the Israeli government. What earned him respect, though, was his photogenic memory and was a universally accepted renown Torah scholar. His knowledge was so profound that no one was able to challenge his ruling. Rav Ovadia was not just an encyclopedia of knowledge but he was able to use his creativity and apply halachic rulings where no other Rabbi would dare to go.
A couple of stories to illustrate this point:

1)The Rav had just become the chief Rabbi when Brigadier General, Rabbi Mordechai Piron informed him that there were 1,000 married Jewish soldiers MIA. Rav Ovadia Yosef spearheaded this effort, creating a Beit Din, or religious court, that would meet twice a week. They worked tirelessly to find some basis of proof to free those 1,000 women. Referring to his two-volume book on religious rules, “Responsa: Yabia Omer,” where he dedicated many chapters to the Agunah problem, he treated each case with special importance. Working with the Beit Din of Agunot affairs, he went around seeking testimony and researching evidence on a topic that is heavily complicated within Jewish tradition. By the end of his work, the newswire JTA reported in April of 1976, “there was no longer a single case of Agunah.” Some cases of agunot he worked on did not require so much labor, such as collecting testimony from fellow soldiers. In other cases, Rav Ovadia ruled on evidence which could seem slightly far-reaching; researching dental records, doctor records, even discovered jewelry from the battlefield. In one case, a soldier was found wearing a wedding band with a wedding date inscribed, and his wife had a matching ring. The Beit Din sifted through various marriage registrars and once proving she was married on that date, they concluded the body found was her deceased husband, and permitted her to remarry.

Allowing these women to simply remarry once they assumed their husbands were dead was not so easily determinable. Rabbis feared that those pronounced dead who were actually alive might return home in a few years to heartbreak, if their wives were, indeed, remarried.

Around ten years ago the Rabbi suffered his first heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. Surgery was required immediately however the Rabbi pleaded to postpone the surgery for three hours and be taken home. He later revealed his reasoning. While at home, he was in the middle of writing his responsa for an aguna and, due to the heart attack, he could not finnish it. “I might not come out alive from this surgery and then what will be of this poor woman? She will be stuck for the rest of her life unable to remarry. I had to finish the responsa before the surgery.”

2)In an unprecedented halachic ruling Rabbi Ovadia Yosef has allowed a woman pregnant by artificial insemination to marry a man who is not the father of the developing child. The 44-year old religious woman decided to get pregnant through a sperm bank because she feared she would not be able to conceive if she waited any longer. However, immediately after her insemination, she met a 50-year-old widower and the two quickly decided to wed, after the latter accepted responsibility for the child. The couple immediately ran into trouble. According to the Jewish halacha, a pregnant woman is not allowed to marry any man who is not the father for 24 months after the birth. The ruling preserves the unborn child’s rights. Rabbis explain that if the woman becomes pregnant again within the two years that follow the birth, the mother may stop producing milk for the baby. The couple appealed to the local rabbinate, but was forbidden to marry. They then turned to Rav Ovadia Yosef, who ruled that the mother may use milk substitutes to feed her child if she conceives again in the coming years.

Attorney Zuriel Bublil, who helped the couple with their appeal, was pleased with the result. “This is an unprecedented ruling that will help women coming to the end of their fertility,” he said. “Rabbi Yosef dealt with halachic reality with great courage, in a matter that many feared to allow or even discuss. The couple wanted to bring the child into the world after they were already married, and their time was almost up.” This woman and her fiancé were married according to Jewish law.

A number of other breakthrough rulings were declaring recognitions of the Jewishness of Ethiopian Jews and in more recent years , ordering the Shas party to vote in favor of a law recognizing brain death as death for legal purpose.

The ability to retract one’s position and admitting an error in judgement shows a tremendous amount of self-confidence. Such was the case in supporting Prime Minister Rabin’s risky Oslo adventure by issuing a ruling that the sanctity of life overrules the slogan of “not giving up an inch”, a decision he retracted when the accords led to the first intifada.

Rabbi Ovadia had a thirst for Torah that is an example to all of us. One morning he woke up in a blaze and ran towards the sink to wash his hands and reciting the birch at ha’Torah – the blessing of studying Torah.

Interestingly, in this bracha, we use the expression TZE’EHTZA’EH TZEHTZA’EHNU – may our offspring and our offspring’s offspring (study the Torah). However the Sages use an unusual terminology for offspring. Why tze’etza’enu and not the usual term, ZERAH? Rabbi Ovadia rushed after reciting the blessing of the Torah to look at a responsa of the commentary, Rivash. His children, seeing the Rav’s enthusiasm were curious for an explanation as to where the urgency came from to look the up commentary so abruptly. He replied that the night before he was toiling to understand two seemingly contradicting statements by the Rivash that seemed unresolvable. He said that in his sleep, the Rivash appeared to him in a dream and stated that he had indeed misunderstood his intentions. There is no contradiction in the two statements. It is all clarified in another source that the Rivash had written. “Upon waking up, I went to check the source he mentioned and indeed it was there.”

SO WHY WOULD WE, AS POOR AMERICANS, WITH NO SUPERSTAR LEADER, NOT NEED THIS POWERHOUSE OF LEADERSHIP? AREN’T WE CHAS V’SHALOM DOOMED WITHOUT IT?

Let’s go back to our reference from the beginning of our newsletter of the parshiyot. One of the most important events in the Torah occurred in this week’s parsha. G-d tells Abraham to go and slaughter his beloved son Yitzchak. Although he didn’t actually go through with it, his intentions were to do so until the very last moment, when an Angel stopped him. It was an enormous test of trust in G-d, which Avraham passed.

What’s astonishing is the unchallenged acceptance of all this by Yitzchak! His enthusiasm throughout the incident was something to take note of. He didn’t think for even a second “Has my father gone mad?!”. How could Yitzchak have been so compliant?
We also observe the utmost respect, from the dialogue, that father and son had for each other.

It all seems so strange. Here is Avraham passing such an enormous test. However, if one will observe in chapter 15, verses 3 and 4, he seemed like he didn’t believe G-d, when He told him he was going to have children. G-d then reinforced him in a peculiar way saying that his trusted servant Eliezer will not inherit him but his son will, the one that will “come out of your stomach”. The sages bring up the we are all familiar with human physiology and know what gender babies come from. The meticulous Torah seems to be hinting something,

Avraham surely believed in G-d’s ability to give him children. However Avraham was afraid of what influence, what impact, could he possibly have on a son at such an advanced age? He was 90 years old!

G-d answered him stating that he will have his own biological children and it will come from HIS STOMACH.

We learn from a verse in Yishaya (59;21) that there is a strong connection between TZE’EHTZA’EH and the word next to it, MEAYIM (stomach).

The stomach is where feeling comes from. Did you ever here the expressions “I’m sick to my stomach” or “I have butterflies in my stomach “?

G-d was telling Avraham, “Your son will inherit you, MEAYIM, from the stomach. With all your enthusiasm and strong feeling, sincerity and strong spiritual sense, your son will inherit you. You Avraham will be the blueprint where the love and spirituality will come from. Your the model mold.”

Did you ever wonder why, in the most important prayer we have, the Amida, we recite G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Yaacov. Then we say concluding the first blessing MAGEN AVRAHAM-protect Avraham?

Why not protect the other forefathers?

Because Avraham is where the spiritual feelings come from. He is the source. Therefore we have to protect that precious hunger, the love of G-d. We ask G-d to protect the spiritual enthusiasm.

That is the reason Yitzchak was so compliant. The guarantee by G-d through the verse, stating MI’MEI’ECHA, came to fruition. We see that every Jew HAS IT!!! He therefore doesn’t really need a leader. Although it helps, it’s unnecessary. It’s built in all of us. We just have to find the right channels to make it sprout. Avraham was guaranteed by G-d.

Frequently I would travel to Israel in the 1980’s-90’s and feeling the pulse of the Sepharadim there I can emphatically say that Rabbi Ovadia’s popularity was indescribable. He was their Rabbi. He was their leader. He was their pride and joy. My own cousins were caught up in the Rabbi Ovadia frenzy. The sepharadim, for many years, never had a Torah giant that would compare to the Ashkenazi greats. Rav Ovadia was able to be their equal. He was able to spar with them, head-to-head, and stand his ground. He was convinced that the Sefardi menorah needed not take a back seat to anybody. He kick-started a spiritual and cultural awakening among a significant number of Israelis in his pursuit to “restore the crown of the divine attributes to its ancient completeness”. The Sepharadim in Israel were able to hold their head up high and be proud.

However it was different in the United States. The enthusiasm towards the great Rabbi was no way near the excitement in Israel. It was not even close. Not many American Sefaradim were able to relate to Rav Yosef. It was a different mentality; the Israeli’s told it like it is, which he did on many occasions. The Americans, though, were more reserved in their demeanor and did not appreciate that. There was and is a major difference between the Israeli and American Sefaradim due to the lack of having a leader.

In the early 90’s I was a guest at a friend who happened to be a Lubavitch Chassid. At the Shabbat table, his wife said, with pride, “The world doesn’t understand us because we have, and follow, a leader.” I felt uncomfortable because I couldn’t comprehend the experience, what a leader, or following a group for that matter, was like. I guess one can call my kind a free bird. Having a leader has a tremendous advantage. He can guide you in many aspects of life. With his enthusiasm, a momentum among his followers can be built, and spirituality can be enhanced among the group in entirety.

Baruch Dayan Ha’emet. We lost a great tzaddik. However we have a gaurantee……We’re Avraham’s descendants. If we protect it, pray to Hashem to protect it, inside of ourselves, we can build that spiritual world for ourselves and the world and people around us. LET’S DO IT!!! SHABBAT SHALOM!

Yom Kippur

September 13, 2013 Rabbi Avi Matmon G-d and Us, High Holidays, Tefilla/ Prayer, The Gift of Speech, Yom Kippur No comments

ACT OF KINDNESS GOES A LONG WAY

Rabbi Joel was coming back from a conference in New Jersey where he figured he’d stop at the cemetery to visit the grave of his father, since it’s conveniently on the way. As he was saying tehilim at the grave site, he notices a family burying their loved one, not far away from his father’s grave. It didn’t seem they were observant and were having a hard time with some of the rituals.

After Rabbi Joel finished saying tehilim, he walked over to the family and said ‘Can I offer you my help, I’m a Rabbi”. After getting a nod of approval, he immediately helped with the rituals and then gathered ten Men and asked the sons of the deceased to say kaddish. Unfortunately, they seemed disinterested with saying the prayer that is said for the deceased and gave him permission to finish off the ceremony himself. Rabbi Joel proceeded to say kaddish and finished the necessary customs of burying the dead. On the way back on the Belt Parkway, he felt a tremendous uplifting feeling having helped out a perfect stranger getting buried properly according to Jewish law. Through the ride back, he couldn’t stop to think about the name of the deceased, ‘Sam Rosenberg’.

That evening as Rabbi Joel was curiously looking up Sam Rosenberg’s name on the internet for any information, he gets a call from his Rabbi. After some casual greetings, he decides to tell his Rabbi the act of kindness he did earlier that day. ‘I can’t seem to find out anything about Sam Rosenberg from Staten Island’ Rabbi Joel said in frustration. ‘What’s his name?’ his Rabbi asked. ‘Sam Rosenberg from Staten Island, why do you know him?’ Let me tell you about Sam Rosenberg from Staten Island. Thirty five years ago, I was a young rabbi convincing parents from a secular background to place their child in Yeshiva. The parents half heartedly agreed as long as it was free. I was handed a list of rich-well-to-do businessmen whom might be gracious enough to help. After a few hours, I called Sam Rosenberg who’s name was half way down the list. I began to go through my pitch on how important it is to give these boys a Jewish education and we need people who can commit long term for their studies. I told him, I have five boys that need the financial help. He said to me ‘I can only finance one; THAT ONE WAS YOU!

There is an old expression, ‘What goes around, comes around’. Be aware, Baruch Hashem, kindness is contagious.

Taken by the lectures of Rabbi Issac Olbaum

Throughout many of our prayers, the style that our great sages evoked is to have a poem, a piyut before we start. The reason is to warm the hearts of the one praying. We are not robots, we need something to get us in the mood, to get the emotions going. So we begin with a piyut. Here we begin with LECHA ELI written by the Even Ezra.

How appropriate to start off Yom Kippur with Kol Nidrai. Man was given special powers over the other living creatures of the world. He was given the gift, the power of speech. Unfortunately, it’s hard not to abuse it even though our tongue is enwrapped with teeth and a second layer of lips. It still manages to escape and put its foot in its mouth. Kol Nidrai tries to annul our careless misuse of our mouth.

* Introduction to Slichot

Betzalel, the builder of the Tabernacle in the wilderness, knew how to combine the letters (the Hebrew letters) with which heaven and earth were created. This is how he configured to build the temple. It is written in the mystic sefarim, “If the letters were to remove themselves for an instant and return to their source, the entire heaven will be an obsolete vacuum.” The Hebrew letters are the building blocks, the foundation of the world. One can understand the essence of a person through his name which consists of a combination of the alef bet. So it wasn’t the physical strength which enabled Betzalel to succeed in enacting the temple; it was the knowledge and expertise on configuration the letters.

Chas ve shalom – if we sin, these spiritual letters are erased, damaged. These are the same letters that enlighten the neshama, that the spiritual and physical world depends on. How do we fix it? How do we un-damage the letters?
If one notices many of the peyutim, paragraphs, poems are in alphabetical order Alef till taf, taf till alef (A-Z, Z-A) The philosophy is to fix the damage by reciting the letters in KEDUSHA form and in a proper state of mind; therefore, creating a positive force. Then one will re-organize, re-configure, re-structure the letters properly and fix the damage. So we find throughout the Slichot, actual in our everyday Tefillot – prayer as well, this format. A few examples: ASHRAI, ANSHAI EMUNA AVADU, ADON HASELICHOT. So it’s important to realize what the chachamim are trying to accomplish. By reinventing the letters again, it will give us a fighting chance.

* BEN ADAM
This prayer is referring to Yona, the prophet, who did not want to perform his task out of fear that the Jews will not repent. So he basically tried to phase himself out of the picture, thinking that G-d does not reveal, talk to His prophets at sea. Yona fled and took refuge on a ship. As the ship sailed, though, G-d brought upon a bad storm. People on board were terrified. The passengers and crew figured it must be someone on board that’s the cause of their misfortunes. So each one prayed to their G-d. However, none of their prayers were answered. “Someone didn’t pray.” So they searched the entire ship and they found Yona asleep. This is the basis of the prayer. “Hey man! Why are you asleep? Go call, pray to your G-d!” Before one knows it, time, life marches on. So go call your G-d before it’s too late.

* THE THIRTEEN ATTRIBUTES OF MERCY
This is the main part of slichot. The Rosh Hashanah method was malchiot, shofrot, and zichronot. Here we are shifting methods. It’s a great strategy of “Doing it for the merit of our fathers.” However, that doesn’t always work. Its limited.
VA YA AVOR HASHEM AL PANAV – G-d passed before him and proclaimed. He taught Moshe something essential, vital for survival. When Moshe was on Mount Sinai to receive the Torah, G-d showed Moshe the method and the text of the special prayer that will always invoke his mercy, unlimited RACHAMIM. G-d said “When Israel sins, let them perform the order of this prayer and I shall forgive them.” An important note, it says perform, besides recitation; one also has to perform acts of mercy with others in order to receive mercy. Only then will G-d respond.
When someone loses a close loved one, one goes through tremendous hardship in the beginning. The mere thought of the one who had passed on evokes a sharp, stinging, uncomfortable pain. As time goes on, though, the memory of the loved one is there; however, the traumatic experience has softened quite a bit. Our forefather, Yaacov, made a promise to G-d after he got up from his dream, “If G-d takes care of his servant, Yaacov, then the stone will be a covenant to you.” Apparently, Yaacov got tangled some twenty years plus in the house of his crooked father-in-law, Lavan. G-d then approached Yaacov and asked “Why did you forget your promise?” He answered, “I didn’t forget.” What did G-d mean when He said “Why did you forget?” Yaacov forgot the feeling. You don’t feel now as when you felt then. REMEMBER – ZACHOR – memory has different levels. If one wants to remember a deceased loved one with the same intensity, then he has to work, meditate to bring back that feeling. Measure for measure, G-d remembers us the same way we remember Him. Appropriately, ZACHOR LANU is sung by the chazzan with intensity to jar up feelings and memories.

THE AVODA

The Avoda re-enacts the entire crucial ceremony of the high priest entering the holy of holies where he will find out the fate of the nation for the upcoming year. If the prayers were accepted, then the high priest departs from the holy of holies alive and everybody is happy. We also go into detail of the sacrifices that occurred on this holy day. Interesting to note that one she-goat is sacrificed and the other is thrown off a cliff apparently given to azzazel – the devil. Why do we practice this? Do we really have to give something to the devil? As a result of Adam’s sin, nothing in this world is 100% good; there is always a negativity attached. An example, when we eat food, no matter how much nourishment it provides, a person will always have to relieve himself. Again, it’s the result of the punishment. So, too with the she-goat. It’s a reminder to us of the negativity that was brought upon the world.

NE’ILA
Ne’ila is the most important prayer of the year. It has to be said BEN HASHMASHOT which is between sunset and nightfall. This is the time when Adam and Chava sinned and brought death onto the world. We are trying to prevent death. The in-between time is always a crucial and intense time of life and we are often tested. When traveling and one is in between destinations, it is often dangerous, so one should say special prayers to prevent harm. There is tremendous rewards if one passes the test “in-between”. For this reason, NE’ILA is a very important tefila. Even when one departs from this world and is in between life and death, a person is tested one last time. The Mystics say it’s the ultimate test; in fact, all the marbles are being placed on the poker table. When one dies, he first goes through this momentary scary nothingness. The Satan approaches the individual and tries to convince him, “You see, there’s nothing here, it was all a farce. There is no heaven and there is no hell and there is certainly no G-d.” If at that point the individual is convinced, he loses everything. All the good he did in this world is wiped out. The crucial in-between time has to be approached very carefully and prudently.

The Act of Kindness Goes a Long Way

September 1, 2013 Rabbi Avi Matmon Chessed/ Acts of Kindness, Jewish Values No comments

This week in the portion of the Torah we’re introduced to Abraham, the first Father of Judaism. He’s known to have many virtues, one of which is kindness. To commemorate Abraham’s ability to enhance and popularize the trait of kindness, a story must be told about a few of his descendants. One would think Abraham, our Father, would be proud of them.

There is an old expression, ‘What goes around, comes around’. Be aware, Baruch Hashem, kindness is contagious.

Taken by the lectures of Rabbi Issac Olbaum

The Power of Love

August 30, 2013 Rabbi Avi Matmon Jewish Values No comments

The “gold standard” with regard to making peace and loving your fellow man was epitomized by Aharon HaCohen, second in command over the Jews when they left Egypt camped in the desert. He was also Moshe’s brother. Aharon loved his fellow Jew like no other. Rav Eliyahu Dessler, one of the leading contemporary rabbinical figures, expounds on this concept using a parable. World War II and the accompanying Holocaust was witness to one particular, amongst many others, family consisting of a mother, father and son, being torn apart. Neither member of the family knew if the other was alive and all were feverishly searching for each other. Miraculously, five years later, they were reunited. The son, now eight and living with his father after the war ended, receives a very emotional hug and kiss from his mother, as his father tearfully looks on.

The question was asked- who loves the son more at this juncture of time, the mother or the father?

One may argue and say a mother’s nurturing and natural love for her children is supreme and cannot be matched. Plus, the yearning and anticipation of the reuniting surely caused the mother and son to be highly emotional. Nevertheless, the fact that the father raised him, alone, all these years- he changed his diaper, did homework with him etc., places him in position to love him more.

Rav Dessler’s concept of “the more you give the more you love” is one of great importance in our relationships with our spouses, children, family members and friends.

Aharon HaCohen was constantly giving of his time in making peace between couples and any broken relationships which were presented to him. His gesture of love towards the people as he blessed the congregation is copied by every Kohen today as they bless the people (see highlight section).

A reminder of loving your fellow Jew, as Aharon did, is brought out in this obituary article of Rabbi Herchel Shachter, which I think is worthwhile to read:

Rabbi Herschel Schacter Is Dead at 95; Cried to the Jews of Buchenwald: ‘You Are Free’

By MARGALIT FOX

Published: March 27, 2013

The smoke was still rising as Rabbi Herschel Schacter rode through the gates of Buchenwald.

It was April 11, 1945, and Gen. George S. Patton’s Third Army had liberated the concentration camp scarcely an hour before. Rabbi Schacter, who was attached to the Third Army’s VIII Corps, was the first Jewish chaplain to enter in its wake.

That morning, after learning that Patton’s forward tanks had arrived at the camp, Rabbi Schacter, who died in the Riverdale section of the Bronx on Thursday at 95 after a career as one of the most prominent Modern Orthodox rabbis in the United States, commandeered a jeep and driver. He left headquarters and sped toward Buchenwald.

By late afternoon, when the rabbi drove through the gates, Allied tanks had breached the camp. He remembered, he later said, the sting of smoke in his eyes, the smell of burning flesh and the hundreds of bodies strewn everywhere.

He would remain at Buchenwald for months, tending to survivors, leading religious services in a former Nazi recreation hall and eventually helping to resettle thousands of Jews.

For his work, Rabbi Schacter was singled out by name on Friday by Yisrael Meir Lau, the former Ashkenazi chief rabbi of Israel, in a meeting with President Obama at Yad Vashem, Israel’s Holocaust memorial.

In Buchenwald that April day, Rabbi Schacter said afterward, it seemed as though there was no one left alive. In the camp, he encountered a young American lieutenant who knew his way around.

“Are there any Jews alive here?” the rabbi asked him.

He was led to the Kleine Lager, or Little Camp, a smaller camp within the larger one. There, in filthy barracks, men lay on raw wooden planks stacked from floor to ceiling. They stared down at the rabbi, in his unfamiliar military uniform, with unmistakable fright.

“Shalom Aleichem, Yidden,” Rabbi Schacter cried in Yiddish, “ihr zint frei!” – “Peace be upon you, Jews, you are free!” He ran from barracks to barracks, repeating those words. He was joined by those Jews who could walk, until a stream of people swelled behind him.

As he passed a mound of corpses, Rabbi Schacter spied a flicker of movement. Drawing closer, he saw a small boy, Prisoner 17030, hiding in terror behind the mound.

“I was afraid of him,” the child would recall long afterward in an interview with The New York Times. “I knew all the uniforms of SS and Gestapo and Wehrmacht, and all of a sudden, a new kind of uniform. I thought, ‘A new kind of enemy.’ ”

With tears streaming down his face, Rabbi Schacter picked the boy up. “What’s your name, my child?” he asked in Yiddish.

“Lulek,” the child replied.

“How old are you?” the rabbi asked.

“What difference does it make?” Lulek, who was 7, said. “I’m older than you, anyway.”

“Why do you think you’re older?” Rabbi Schacter asked, smiling.

“Because you cry and laugh like a child,” Lulek replied. “I haven’t laughed in a long time, and I don’t even cry anymore. So which one of us is older?”

Rabbi Schacter discovered nearly a thousand orphaned children in Buchenwald. He and a colleague, Rabbi Robert Marcus, helped arrange for their transport to France – a convoy that included Lulek and the teenage Elie Wiesel – as well as to Switzerland, a group personally conveyed by Rabbi Schacter, and to Palestine.

For decades afterward, Rabbi Schacter said, he remained haunted by his time in Buchenwald, and by the question survivors put to him as he raced through the camp that first day.

“They were asking me, over and over, ‘Does the world know what happened to us?’ ” Rabbi Schacter told The Associated Press in 1981. “And I was thinking, ‘If my own father had not caught the boat on time, I would have been there, too.’ ”

Herschel Schacter was born in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn on Oct. 10, 1917, the youngest of 10 children of parents who had come from Poland. His father, Pincus, was a seventh-generation shochet, or ritual slaughterer; his mother, the former Miriam Schimmelman, was a real estate manager.

Mr. Schacter earned a bachelor’s degree from Yeshiva University in New York in 1938; in 1941, he received ordination at Yeshiva from Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, a founder of the Modern Orthodox movement.

He spent about a year as a pulpit rabbi in Stamford, Conn., before enlisting in the Army as a chaplain in 1942.

After Buchenwald was liberated, he spent every day there distributing matzo (liberation had come just a week after Passover); leading services for Shavuot, which celebrates the revelation of the Torah to Moses at Mount Sinai, and which fell that year in May; and conducting Friday night services.

At one of those services, Lulek and his older brother, Naftali, were able to say Kaddish for their parents, Polish Jews who had been killed by the Nazis.

Discharged from the Army with the rank of captain, Rabbi Schacter became the spiritual leader of the Mosholu Jewish Center, an Orthodox synagogue on Hull Avenue in the north Bronx. He presided there from 1947 until it closed in 1999.

He was a leader of many national Jewish groups, including the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations, of which he was a past chairman. He was most recently the director of rabbinic services at Yeshiva.

Rabbi Schacter, who in 1956 went to the Soviet Union with an American rabbinic delegation, was an outspoken advocate for the rights of Soviet Jews and an adviser on the subject to President Richard M. Nixon.

A resident of the Riverdale section of the Bronx, Rabbi Schacter is survived by his wife, the former Pnina Gewirtz, whom he married in 1948; a son, Rabbi Jacob J. Schacter, who confirmed his father’s death; a daughter, Miriam Schacter; four grandchildren; and eight great-grandchildren.

And what of Lulek, the orphan Rabbi Schacter rescued from Buchenwald that day? Lulek, who eventually settled in Palestine, grew up to be Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau.

Rabbi Lau, who recounted his childhood exchange with Rabbi Schacter in a memoir, published in English in 2011 as “Out of the Depths,” was the Ashkenazi chief rabbi of Israel from 1993 to 2003 and is now the chief rabbi of Tel Aviv.

On Friday, when Rabbi Lau told Mr. Obama of his rescue by Rabbi Schacter – he thanked the American people for delivering Buchenwald survivors “not from slavery to freedom, but from death to life” – he had not yet learned of Rabbi Schacter’s death the day before.

“For me, he was alive,” Rabbi Lau said in an interview with The Times on Monday. “I speak about him with tears in my eyes.”
Correction: March 26, 2013, Tuesday

This article has been revised to reflect the following correction: A photo caption with an earlier version of this article misspelled the given name of Rabbi Herschel Schacter as Hershel.

Aharon HaCohen’s life long work was to show love toward his fellow Jew. He was known as one who made SHALOM. He was a man of peace and therefore died in peace. His death was considered a MITA NESHIKA-a kiss of death. For the most part, every person from the beginning of creation, goes through an extreme amount of pain during the death process. The exception was Aharon. G-d showed and reciprocated His love to Aharon, as did Aharon to his fellow Jew, and therefor “kissed” him and he died in peace-SHALOM, without pain

The Holiday of Purim

August 25, 2013 Rabbi Avi Matmon Purim No comments

Introduction: The holiday of Purim is very difficult to understand for many reasons. First, there is no “expensive”, “special effect” miracle like the splitting of the sea or the whole world rockin’ ‘n poppin’ because of G-d reciting the Ten Commandments with fire on Mount Sinai. Purim’s miracles are all disguised. In fact, G-d’s name isn’t even mentioned in the Megilla. All is hidden between the lines. Everything was done in HESTER-secret. We call the scroll from which we read about this triumph MEGILLAT ESTHER-revealing the hidden.

The ARI”ZAL says that Purim is the greatest and holiest of all the holidays, even surpassing YOM KIPPUR. He mentions that YOM KIPPUR is YOM KEH PURIM- a day like PURIM, similar to PURIM, however not as great. This day is also a chance to get our prayers answered in a big way.

WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE IN ORDER FOR US TO FULFILL THE COMMANDMENT OF PURIM?

One fulfills the commandment simply by having a nice meal and getting intoxicated. WOW!! That sounds easy; I don’t think I can mess that one up!!

WHY IS THE EMPHASIS ON THE MEAL?

WHY IS THE INTOXICATION SO IMPORTANT?

LET US PROVIDE A LITTLE BACKGROUND:

Life for the Jews in the Persian Empire was good, life was better than many of the other periods in Diaspora. However, the Persians were uncomfortable with the Jewish religion. The Persians believed in a belief called Zorastriasm- G-d of light and dark.

We say Friday night in our prayers before the SHEMA, “BAMEH MADLIKIN”. In that prayer, which is from the Mishna, we state, “HAMECHABEH ET HANER”- if a Jew blows out the candle. This is in reference to the Persian Empire, in which some pagan believers insisted on the lights being turned off during certain days in the Persian calendar upon which their holiday of darkness falls. On these days, the Jew is PATUR.

Rabbi Berel Wein mentions that whenever the Jews looked up to their host country, there would be a greater amount of intermarriage. Conversely, if they looked down at the host country, intermarriage would be minimal. Here, the Jews not only looked down at the Persians, they mocked their pagan belief. Therefore, the Persians felt uneasy. This is the reason HAMAN found an eager audience.

The nations of the world were very knowledgeable of the Jewish religion and the history of their Temple. They knew that if the temple was not built by a certain date, it’ll never be built.

Balshatzar who ruled before Achashverosh, was a big anti Semite. Balshatzar didn’t allow any attempt to build the Temple. He threw a party mocking the Jews and their G-d. This is where the famous expression “the writing on the wall” originated. In the middle of the party, on the wall, everyone noticed, was written “You will be killed”. Balshatzar soon died. People don’t get it! DON’T MESS WITH THE JEWISH G-D!!

Balshatzar’s daughter was Vashti, who married Achashverosh

THE SECRET OF WINE

Achashverosh was losing power and his domination of the world. He now ruled over 127 countries as opposed to 252. A person always strives to move ahead in life, moving up from one house or neighborhood to a slightly larger house and more affluent part of town. When one downgrades, he becomes desperate.

Marrying into royalty has its pluses and minuses. Achashverosh now had access to the booty that was captured by his wife, Queen Vashti’s grandfather, Nevuchadnetzar, the Emperor of Babylonia who destroyed the first Temple.

Achashverosh threw a party where many of the artifacts and utensils of the holy Temple were displayed. He dressed himself in the high priest’s garb which was worn in the Temple and he performed the ceremony that was done by the Jews and the Kohen Gadol. This was done to receive power to dominate his enemies in battle. He reasoned that every time the Israelites were about to enter battle, they would have their ceremony in the Temple and would emerge victorious. So too, he thought, these garments will be my lucky charm and I will regain all which I have lost and more!!

Another reason was to show the Jews that the time came and has gone already and the Temple and the salvation has not arrived. The Jews were forbidden to go to this party. However, many did and enjoyed themselves. This angered G-d and a bad decree would now be cast upon the Jewish people.

While the Jews were at their lowest point, the birth of the salvation took place.

NICHNAS YAYIN YATZA SOD- ‘wine goes in and the secret comes out’ is a famous expression. One can tell about a person through his KISO, KA’ASO, KOSO- his pocket, his anger, and his cup of wine. This is when the true essence of a person comes out.

When righteous people drink together, they start to sing. Music is very spiritual. Achashverosh was drinking with his friends and they were discussing who’s prettier, the Persian girls or the American. Then the conversation got more personal. Who’s prettier, my wife or your wife. Achashverosh said “I’ll show you!” and summoned his wife. When she didn’t come because of a blemish that suddenly appeared on her, Achashverosh had her killed.

The wine began the salvation.

There was a story that happened a few hundred years ago in Eastern Europe when a Gentile boy was murdered and the Jews were blamed. This is the kind of incident that the non-Jews wait for so that they can take the opportunity to cause destruction to the Jewish people. The Jewish leaders went to the Ba’al Shem Tov and asked him what to do. He said, “go to this particular person at four in the morning, wake him up from his sleep and ask him to pray and stop this bad decree.” Surprised, as this was the town drunk, they did as the Rabbi said. The next day, the real killer was found and he wasn’t Jewish. The Jewish leaders asked the Rav, “how did you know that this man is the savior and why at 4 in the morning?”

The Ba’al Shem Tov started to tell a story about this man. This man comes from a wealthy family. When he was a young man in his early twenties, he would treat himself every six months by going to the most expensive prostitute in the big city. At that age, it is quite difficult to control your desires and this was his weakness. On one of these trips as he’s traveling to the big city, he hears a cry of terror. He immediately informed the wagon driver to stop so that he can investigate. He ran to the apartment complex towards the screaming and learned that the landlord is about to kill the tenant for not paying the rent, and is taking the wife and daughter for his enjoyment. The traveler noticed that the family was Jewish.

After inquiring into the matter, he learned that this family and the Jewish family down the hall were about to be evicted and forced to endure a severe punishment for not paying the rent.

The traveler decided to pay the rent for the two Jewish tenants using all the money set aside for his trip to the prostitute.

The Baal Shem Tov said, “wow, here’s a man who gave up his extremely strong desire which he anticipated for 6 months to save these fellow Jews whom he doesn’t even know!!”

He continued, “They were impressed in the heavens and rewarded him that whatever he wishes will come true…..WAIT A MINUTE! MAYBE HE’LL ASK FOR MASHIACH. We can’t allow that! We’ll give him all the wealth, a nice family, his children will marry into nice families, however he’ll have an extreme desire to drink, we’ll keep him drunk all the time. When one is intoxicated, his prayers are not answered. This way there will be no request for the mashiach. The Baal Shem Tov said, “I know that at four in the morning after sleeping for a nice amount of hours he won’t be intoxicated.”

The question we can all ask is that on Purim it’s a MITZVA to get intoxicated. We also said that one can pray and get his prayers answered big time. But we see from this story that if a man is drunk, his prayers are not answered?

We can learn the answer from a parable. A man who drinks is compared to four kinds of animals. When he drinks one glass, he gets a buzz and acts like a cow. After the second cup, he roars like a lion. After the third cup, the man is jumping from chandelier to chandelier like a monkey. If he drinks all four cups, he wobbles around in the mud like a pig.

The first cup is the key. Rabbi Akiva Tatz said that we know NICHNAS YAYIN YATZA SOD- wine goes in the secret comes out. Yes, it’s true the secret comes out! The secret is a vision that man is able to see and focus on what life is all about, more than he would have ever been able to when sober. With the right dosage of wine, man can understand G-d and things can emerge so clear. At this point, the right dosage of intellect and emotions are perfect. However, he has to drink for the sake of the Mitzvah, then he’s able to ask for whatever his heart desires

Got to Have Faith Especially in the Big Apple

August 23, 2013 Rabbi Avi Matmon Emunah/ Belief in G-D, Jewish Values, Pesach No comments

Here is a story which made an impression on me and it is a perfect intro to the holiday of Pesach. A few days ago, I was on 47th street in the jewelry district, where I used to work, and I met a friend of mine, Robert. Robert related an incident that happened to him, maybe fifteen years ago. He was working and, as many of us sometimes experience, one day had to come up with $5000 to pay some bills.

Robert left his office early to go downtown where he had a number of clients who owed him money, which he hoped to collect. As he walked to 48th St. and 6th avenue to take the train, he was stopped by a man who needed some help.

Us New Yorkers are experts in reading people- we know who to stop for or who to ignore. This person, though not a bum, would definitely be considered one with major psychological issues. Sounds familiar right, everyone knows a few of those.

Showing Robert an envelope full of coins, he told Robert in a slow weird voice “I found this in the street here and I tried to call the number and name found on the envelope and return it several times, but every time I ask for Dr. Kennedy, they hang up. Hey! all I want to do is be a good human being and return it. You look like an honest guy, can help me?”

It was very obvious what had happened. Dr. Kennedy thought it was some weirdo calling, so he hung up.

The man then asked Robert if he can call and try to get through to Dr. Kennedy. Robert said to himself “there is no harm in that” and proceeded to call.

Robert did indeed get through to Dr. Kennedy who asked for Robert to describe some of the rare coins which were in the envelope. They were very expensive and Kennedy said that he was about to place an ad in the New York Times’ lost and found.

Dr. Kennedy said “I am busy with patients, please tell the man to take a cab to the upper west side where I work, and to top it off, I’ll give him a $700 reward for the return of the coins.

Robert, still on the phone with the Dr., relayed the message to the man, who said “I’m not going, I’m too scared”. Kennedy then said to Robert “ok, then why don’t you come with him and I’ll give you half the reward”. Still the man was reluctant to go and maintained “I’m not going with you, I’m scared”.

There was a long pause. Finally, Kennedy gave a suggestion to Robert – “why don’t you give $150 to the man and come here yourself and I’ll give you the reward”.

He thought about it and rationalized, “it would seem that everybody gains, and not only that, I’m on a time clock to come up with the $5000, this would be a perfect start in the process of reaching my goal of the day.

He gave the man $180- chai. The weird man looked to the left and then to the right, and he was gone.

When Robert reached Kennedy’s building on the West side, he asked the doorman “can I take the short cut to the side office entrance which Kennedy described to get to his office?” The doorman laughed. He said “you’re the 5th person this month to come looking for Dr. Kennedy. There is no Dr. Kennedy. It’s all a scam”.

Robert told me “I had been had, they tricked me. At first I laughed and said ‘wow what a performance’, then, though, I got a little upset. I said ‘why did G-d do this to me? He knows I have to raise $5000. I not only lost $180, I also lost precious time’”. “I then started to think with my head and not with my emotions, Robert continued, and I shrugged it off as “this is what G-d wants, it is what it is.”

Robert got an appraisal for the coins, they were worth one dollar!

Ten years after the incident, Robert was chauffeuring a famous mukubal (a Kaballist) who was going from community to community. He had plenty of time with the Mekubal and discussed various issues. He also mentioned this little incident. Later, while they were still in the car, it was quite and the Rabbi was thinking. Then the Rabbi said, “if you ever see that weird man again, give him another $180″.

It seemed that the Rabbi was implying that if he would have taken the route downtown at that moment, he would have had devastating results. The “unfortunate” and not lucrative diversion saved him from hardship. Was the Rabbi trying to make him feel better by suggesting the alternative? It didn’t seem like it . Perhaps the Mekubal knows something we don’t know. We can all be skeptical about a kabalist. Still, one has to believe that everything is from G-d. And this is true no matter who tells it to you.

G-d said to slaughter and eat the animals that the Egyptians called God. The Holy One said “nothing will happen to you”. Klal Yisroel did it anyways, even though it made no sense. This is belief.

G-d said to jump into the waters when the Egyptians were chasing after the Jews. Nachshon jumped in because he believed. The waters split. Did it make sense? NO. That is belief.

One has to have faith. Many unexplained occurrences can happen throughout the course of the day. New York is a colorful place with a lot of interesting characters. One has to believe that everything is from G-d!!

Badge of Honor

August 23, 2013 Rabbi Avi Matmon Emunah/ Belief in G-D, Jewish Values No comments

The following are excerpts from lectures given by Rabbis Berel Wein Shlit”a.

Washing machines and dryers have a life span of about 20 to 30 years. We rented our basement to this women on condition that the washer and dryer would be off limits. A number of years ago, we came back earlier then expected after spending the holiday of Pesach by my mother in Forest hills. Much to our dismay, we discovered smoke coming out of the door leading to the basement…

I rushed downstairs to find the tenant not only using but abusing the dryer!! It was overloaded and making a terrible noise. She was startled to see me, to say the least. Always overestimate your vacation time! The element of surprise allows one to discover many things. We had mentioned to her that we will be back at this and this date and that she should keep an eye on things. SHE WAS CAUGHT WITH HER HAND IN THE COOKIE JAR!! I gave her a look and couldn’t help but to think to myself “my oh my, you sure know how to arrange things, look, you set it up so carefully, still your disgrace has been discovered. You can’t hide!”

So we called this nice Orthodox repairman by the name of Aryeh Satt, as the dryer conked out a week later. As he fixed it, I couldn’t help but to inquire about his life. I asked him about his unusual last name. “Satt” doesn’t resemble the classic Jewish names, Schwartz, Babayov, Hakimi etc. He explained that actually he is very proud of his name and proceeded to tell me about “Satt”. The name comes from a very interesting part of Jewish history.

One of the most glorious periods of our history and the time we enjoyed prosperity and religious freedom was during the Golden Age of Spain. However, life is such that good things don’t last forever. The honeymoon ended on a very bitter note.

Spain changed from a moderately Muslim to a highly religious Christian country. The optimal country for Jews to live in in the Diaspora is a non religious one. Once they get fanatical and move towards extremism- Jews will be persecuted. And so it was, trouble was brewing. The Church was obsessed with the idea that every Jew must convert. Many did convert, especially the affluent Jews. During the course of the Spanish Inquisition, more than 23 major Synagogues were burnt to the ground. Over 100,000 Jews died during this period and many were executed. In the late 1400s, Ferdinand and Isabella, the king and queen of Spain, gave an ultimatum to the Jews: either convert to Christianity or face immediate expulsion. If neither is chosen, death will be the consequence.

Tisha B’Av of the year 1492 was the expulsion date set for the Jews. The mood, as one could imagine, was a very sad one. The Rabbis allowed music to be played in order to lift their spirits. It’s very hard to leave the place one calls home. Christopher Columbus wrote in his log that he had a difficult time departing from the port because so many Jews were boarding ships that day.

There were 250,000 people who left, while 250,000 remained since they didn’t want to leave their possessions. Those Jews reasoned that they would practice Judaism in private. These people all converted, however, they secretly practiced Judaism. These Jews were called Morronos. However, Isabella was smart and appointed Inquisitors to spearhead the Spanish Inquisition with the goal of preventing Morronos from practicing Judaism.

Most of the 250,000 Jews were lost. They chose to stay in Spain and paid a dear price for it.

Years later, many Jewish communities had little sympathy for and did not want to associate with the Morronos. The attitude toward them was “you mixed with the Gentiles, we are the pure Jews”.

This gentlemen’s last name, “SATT” is an abbreviation in Hebrew of the letters SAMACH and TET which stands for Sefaradi Tahor- a pure Sefardic Jew. We didn’t mix, we didn’t assimilate.

However, it seems like it was more then that. It wasn’t just a title; it was a badge of honor.

We gave up our money, left our place of birth, abandoned our affluence, comfort and home for Judaism. It became Jewish pride. It’s in our genes to preserve our heritage, our future. It was a big sacrifice, but we did it; we persevered. Some of the Morronos can say “look, we survived, religion intact”. However, it was a tremendous gamble to take.

The first test of our forefather Abraham was LECH-LECHA- go out of this land, your homeland. If you do not, you will get assimilated. It’s in our genes to get up and go when need be.

In this week’s parsha we discuss a concept similar to Shabbat; Shmitta. Just like on Shabbat we do not work for one of the seven days of the week, here too, one does not use the land on the seventh year. Yes, that’s right, the whole year!!. WHAT, NO WORK? HOW DO WE PROVIDE FOR OUR FAMILY?! Still, this is what is stated in the Torah and we follow, even though it defies logic. This is what trusting G-d is all about. Although it’s difficult, one has to leave his business, his source of income.

Aryeh Satt and his ancestors have the right attitude. They look at belief, trusting and fulfilling G-d’s commandments as a badge of honor.

In our history, we were forced to wear yellow stars and special hats. We took those degrading orders and bore them proudly. Perhaps, we should even embrace some of G-d’s positive commandments and treat them like opportunities, not requirements.

We have to remember that the Torah, the Mitzvos etc… they’re our “badge of honor”.

From a Mother to the World

August 22, 2013 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

A friend, Ofir Haimov, sent me an email written by his cousin, Nilly Haimov, which I thought was very touching and I’d like to share it with you.

B”H

My parents are not getting better. I haven’t found a way to stabilize their condition, they are in their 80’s and there are many like them in the world today. I am a fighter, and I can make sacrifices for everyone. Right now I am sacrificing for me, for my parents, visiting doctors, intensive care units, hospital rooms with sleepless nights. All my children are not with me, all my friends are not with me, but my parents who need me now more then ever – are with me. Remember, once your loved ones leave it is too late to pick up the phone and hear their voice, it is too late to get a hug, it is too late to get to know them a little more so you can share stories about them; it is just too late.

In my life there was not much room for my parents. I was a dedicated wife, businesswoman, and mother traveling the world. Now, when my parents are at their last strengths, I am back to being with them. My parents accepted my worldly life; seems like they too thought this is what the world is all about. Now I pray that they forgive me for not giving them all they deserved, for not stopping everything and making sure they are happy and well.

In this world, putting our self aside is very hard, profession comes first, it’s an “all about me attitude”, my plans, my classes and my look; my comfort comes first so don’t expect me to give all that up. I am sorry that our world was brought up this way; I wish we could see things differently. For now, I say thank you for whatever I get because in this crazy world, it’s best not to expect, this way you aren’t disappointed. So from a not disappointed mother to the world, thank you for giving me this plate; it is the best meal for me, especially since G-d planned it.

You who are reading this – make sure your plate is set well, because each one of us eats what we have prepared. Hope your meal will be healthy and tasty, nourishing and educational.

Respectfully,

A Mother

P.S. What can we do differently? Put the business aside, the studies aside, the TV away, shut the internet off and find your loved ones that need you. Support them just for today and see what a great feeling you get. Can’t buy that at the mall, or get it in the movies; can’t even get it in class, you have to get it yourself!

During the 1960’s, there were approximately twenty Bukarian families living in New York, mostly in Queens. We were all very close, attending each other’s special occasions. The kids had a tremendous bond considering the unique similarities of being born in New York, raised by Israeli parents, but having a strong mystic connection through our parents to the Bukarian culture. Little did we children realize at the time, that our lives would go in different directions as we entered into adulthood. It’s been thirty plus years since I had any contact with Nilly. I have read many articles about this period of our lives. But, I guess hearing it by one of your own; someone who shared your childhood experiences and remembers your parents being young and vibrant – penetrates the heart.

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