Spark of Jewish Experience

What’s that old comedian’s name?  That Jewish comedian who had a wonderfully brilliant routine of a Jewish mega-CEO who commanded the respect of many within his circles. Many would “yes sir” him and “no sir” him; they would address him “good morning sir”;   they would melt in fright if he would just look in their direction for it might imply a mistake that they, G-d forbid, haddone. However, when he arrives home he would be belittled by his wife for forgetting to take out the garbage that morning. “You didn’t forget to put on your pants this morning! How can you forget to take out the garbage?! The house stinks because of you! You’re not entering this house unless the garbage disappears from my eyes. You’re not the idiot! I’m the idiot for marrying you,” the wife continues “because no one else would’ve done it!” We see how this well respected man is suddenly humiliated. Yet for shalom bayit – peace in the house, he doesn’t answer back. What a transformation from a lion at work to a tormented mouse at home!

This week’s Parsha contains the mitzvah of offering the Korban Olah [Burnt Offering]. Aharon and his children were given the tremendous responsibility of the Service of the Temple. The first and foremost task that Aharon and his children are instructed to perform is the mitzvah of Terumat HaDeshen — the removal of the ashes that were consumed by the previous night’s fire on top of the Mizbayach [altar].

A question arises? Did they need to? Why couldn’t others perform that remedial task? It’s similar to cleaning the grill. Why should the chef have to trouble himself? Surely Aharon had better things to do?!

The Chovas Halevovos [Duties of the Heart], written by R. Bachye Ibn Paquda; 11th century Spain, one of the defining works on ethics and mussar – that is self-improvement and refining of character; says that the rationale behind this is that the Torah is particularly careful that people do not let things go to their heads, lest they become ba’alei ga’avah (haughty). It would only be natural for Aharon to consider himself special. He was one of the select few who had the merit of performing the Temple Service! Nevertheless, the Torah instructed him that the first thing that he must do every morning is — remove the ashes! The function of this job, according to the Chovot Halevovot, is to lower the self-image of the Kohanim and remove haughtiness from their hearts.

Interesting! Look how a man thinks, just one little complement, one pat on the back and it can goes long way. Even the most pious can fall prey to feeling haughty. We’re all susceptible to sprouting up like roosters, sucking up every bit of glory and declaring “Look at me; look at what I’ve done; look at my accomplishments.”

When the Jews, our Ancestors, entered the Promised Land they were warned that if they had a propensity for haughtiness and arrogance (called Gasut haRuach), they would pay the price for G-d will place a tzaraat-affliction upon their house that was in “the land of your possession.” This affliction would look like special colored spots on the walls of the house. Ironically, it seems that today we have instant gratification, whereas back then they had instant punishment. Seems like good behavior was a necessity, or else. They always had to be on their tipi toes: the margin of error didn’t exist. G-d would inflict them where it hurts the most. What’s the old saying “a man’s home is his castle.”?

The one to whom the house belongs shall come and declare to the Kohen, saying: Something like an affliction has appeared to me in the house. (k’negah nireh li b’bayit)” [Vayikra 14:34-35] Rashi points out that even a Torah scholar who knows full well that what he has seen is certainly tzaraat affliction, may only tentatively state “something appearing like an affliction has developed on the wall of my house.”

We are trying to teach the person a lesson: Don’t be so sure of yourself. You cannot definitely state “It is a Nega – affliction.” You should state the facts with less confidence and self-assurance. Leave your declaration at “Something like a Nega has appeared on my house.”

‘You got yourself into this trouble by being too sure of yourself. Forget the fact that you spent the last 25 years studying the Laws of Tzaraat. Don’t be so cocky. The Tikun [antidote] to self-assurance is to retain some doubt about the correctness of your diagnosis. Say only “K’nega nireh li babayit – there may be Nega in my house.”

One of the components of the purification ritual for the afflicted house is Eizov, a kind of moss, which is dipped into the blood of the slaughtered bird as part. Rashi quoting Chazal explains that this is because moss is a very low lying growth. We are sending the person a message that his problem resulted from an overabundance of arrogance and haughtiness. We are telling him “You have to start acting more like the Eizov.”

The Sefat Emet asks a simple question. Why doesn’t the Kohen just come out and say that directly to the person: “You are too haughty!” Why is this message delivered so obliquely with this Eizov ingredient in the bird purification ritual? Why are we beating around the bush – ahem – moss for? Let’s tell him “You are a Baal Gayvah – a haughty person you had this coming to you! Start acting more humbly and your problems will go away!” We do not do this. We deliver the message with extreme subtlety. Why?

The Sefat Emet answers that you cannot preach humility. Humility must be self-generated and self-inspired. Preaching the value of humbleness to a haughty person will fall on deaf ears. He needs to come to this realization on his own. We try to send him messages that will cause him to introspect and inspire him to think “What have I been doing wrong?” He should think – why is it that out of all the plants in the world, they bring me moss? Hopefully, this will trigger the inspiration that must come from within — that it would be wise to be a bit more humble in the future.

There is a famous story which illustrates this point. Rav Chatzkel Abramsky, zt”l, once needed to testify in a case in which the Beis Din of London was sued by a shochet [ritual slaughterer] who had been fired. As the head of the Beis Din, Rav Abramsky had no choice, but to testify in secular court. His attorney asked him to state his name and his position. The attorney then asked, “Is it true that you are the greatest living halachic authority on the European continent?” Rav Abramsky said, “Yes. That is true.”A person who denies his own identity and talents is not humble. He is deceiving himself. An ‘anav’ [humble person] can know precisely who he is.

At that point the judge interjected and said, “Rabbi Abramsky, is that not rather haughty on your part? I thought that your laws and ethics teach you to be humble.” Without any hesitation, Rav Abramsky responded, “I know we are taught to be humble. But I am under oath.”

The point of this story is that Rav Chatzkel Abramsky was aware that he was the greatest living halachic authority on the European continent. Recognition of his true status was not haughtiness. However to flaunt it is haughtiness.

What then is the key to humility? The key to humility is to remember that whatever a person has and is, is a gift from Heaven. “It is not my strength and the power of my hand that has wrought me this great wealth” It is not my brains. It is not my talents. It isnot innate. It is all a blessing from G-d.” A person remains humble by realizing and remembering that all of his achievements in this world are only through the good graces of G-d, and that he can lose them at any minute, G-d forbid.

There is a famous Mishneh at the end of Maseches Sotah that states that when Rebbi (Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi, the editor of the Mishneh) died, humility ceased. Rav Yosef in the Gemara questions this Mishneh and says that it could not possibly be accurate “For I am here”. This comment of Rav Yosef begs for clarification.

There is a beautiful homiletic interpretation of this Talmudic passage. Rav Yosef was not saying, “I am humble. Therefore there are humble people around.” He was saying something else. We learn elsewhere that Rav Yosef became blind. When he became blind, he forgot all his learning. This great Amora, Rav Yosef, whose opinion is found on so many folios of Shas, who learned so much, who taught so much — this same Rav Yosef forgot it all after his illness.

Rav Yosef is saying is the following: “Do not say that there cannot be humble people around anymore — because I am around. As long as I am around, people can look at me and see what can happen to a person. Let them see that a person can be an Amora, know all of the Mishnayot, have hundreds of students and yet forget it all. If people bear that in mind, then there can still be humble people. For the key to humility is realizing that everything is a gift that can be lost at any time.”

My wife told over this unforgettable story which has made an impression on me ever since. There was a well-respected woman who attended a wedding and unfortunately at the wedding she was berated and humiliated by another woman that even the men on the other side of the mechitza – partitioned wall – were able to hear the yelling. The woman doing the yelling was obviously having issues and was not able to cope so well with her current developing problems. The woman who was the victim did not utter a word; she did not respond even though some of the accusations said were very personal and should have been kept quiet. This is because another woman ran to the well-respected woman and pleaded not to respond. Afterwards, the other woman asked that the well-respected woman give her a bracha. The woman was childless, and had been advised by a Rav to receive a bracha from “one who is humiliated in public and doesn’t talk back”. One who gets embarrassed is humbled immensely. Note however, that one does have to have self-dignity and protect himself, however they also have to know where the humiliation is coming from and give a carefully measured response. And, at times, a response might not be appropriate at all.

Who is a humble person? A humble person is someone who is well aware that G-d runs the show so he or in this case she possesses special merits that when she says something the heavens above will listen.

The Diamond Dairy restaurant was in the heart of the Jewelry industry. It was tremendously convenient, for yours truly, for my office was above the restaurant in the same building. One afternoon I looked around while I was having a late lunch and there he was, the famous Jewish comedian, sitting there having a meal.  He would frequently come to Diamond Dairy for it reminded many of the old European Jews of their childhood favorite dishes. I walked over to him after he finished his lunch and complemented him on his very humorous impersonation of the Kennedys and on his “take out the garbage” routine.

He said to me “You know nowadays it’s even more difficult. These husband have such complicated jobs but they can’t figure out what goes into recycle.” I asked “So, what’s the solution Mr. Maza?” Mr. Maza, the comedian winked and said, “You have to swallow your pride and tip them well at the end of December.”