Spark of Jewish Experience

One brother makes a clean break, signs up with the Army. After finishing his term of enlistment, moves to a farm. He never returns to the old neighborhood, concerned that he’d be sucked back into his previous life. He puts up an imaginary fence, a protection, that he does not even think of the past. He severs his relations with his former friends, his parents, schoolmates, upbringing, and memories. One may say his move was necessary and commendable. He deemed it vital, a must, for he knows his weakness and is fearful that he may be susceptible to the life of crime and violence. He took upon a life similar to that of a witness within a protection program. However he really didn’t have to do that. The fear propelled him to act that way.

The other brother chooses differently. He never forgets the past. He, inspired by his new conviction, goes back to the old neighborhood as an addiction counselor, feeling for his old friends or the people like them. He builds a social service organization. He uses his intimate knowledge of criminal culture and its distribution networks and patterns of association to preach a gospel of communal renewal. He turns the sordid past into an inspiring future – for it was his past that enabled him now to accomplish all this. He did not give up his past. He demonstrates a love for his friends of yesterday and campaigns comradery amongst them, he makes it the basis and foundation for new gains.

Which brother was correct in his path of life? One might think it’s a silly question, however if one gives it some thought it is quite complex. Is it the brother who guided his life through fear or the brother who went in the way of love? Is his fear properly channeled? Is this what children have to feel for their parents?

In this week’s parsha we read about the Kohanim and how they blessed the nation. There is one word in the blessing that stands out, B’AHAVA- with love. They have to bless the nation, with raised hands, with the feeling of love towards their brethren. Interestingly YAD (hand) times two equals to twenty eight, which is also equal to KOACH – strength. When one shows love towards his fellow man, that unity brings strength.

Although AHAVA is a beautiful trait to have, there is a major component missing from it to present the “complete man”. We see this clearly by our forefather Avraham who is described early in the Torah as an “OHEV HASHEM”, one who loves G-d. He is also famously known for is his love of his fellow man. Evidence of this love is his generous hospitality which he and his wife displayed.

However, Avraham was instructed to perform the toughest commandment of his life to slaughter his son Yitzchak. To prepare mentally for this Avraham had to change. AHAVA was not enough and not appropriate for this difficult task, he had to focus his thought pattern through fear and the highest component of fear is awe. In the end, Avraham did not have to sacrifice his son, and this act is known famously as the Akedat Yitzchak. After the test was complete, G-d said “Now I know that you’re G-d fearing”, implying that he has been elevated and transformed into being the “complete man”.

We’ve just concluded the holiday where we received the Torah. There is a question we must ponder for the pasuk (18:17-19) seemingly is referring to two mountains: Mount Sinai and another mountain. Furthermore the scripture writes “Z’MAN TORAHTAINU”- “the time where we received our Torah”. However, Am Yisrael didn’t possess the Torah yet. It was still G-d’s Torah. It should haves said “Z’MAN TORAHTO”- “we are acquiring “his Torah””. Also one must take note on Pesach we read the ever so popular DAYENU. One of the DAYENU’s is “If you just brought us to Mount Sinai and you didn’t give us the Torah -that would’ve been enough”. Hey! We schlepped all the way to the dessert for what? To eat Pavlov?! What are we standing here for!!

Here is the answer: We already acquired a Torah (Toratainu), the Torah of Awe, the Torah of Fear. By meriting to stand on Mount Sinai we graduated with the honor of being “YIRAT SHAMAYIM – Fear of the Heavens”. That is a big accomplishment!! The second anonymous mountain is Har Hamoria. The root of the word Moria is YIRA-fear. Mount Sinai was the Mountain of the love of Torah.

Ever wonder why they ask the question “Does he have Yirat shamayim – fear of the heavens?” Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to say “Yirat Hashem”?

The reason is that the Shamayim froze out of awe when G-d Commanded it. This is how we should act. The Shamayim is the quintessential act of fear. Dr. Goldman qualifies fear as not necessarily being afraid, but an Awe fear. One should be in awe of G-d.

You see, all repentance is motivated by something. Let us examine the fear factor from the story of Yonah and whale. Yonah was asked to go to Nineveh and make them aware of the importance to repent. The repentance of the sailors was caused by fear. The details of the narrative make this fact quite clear; in addition, the episode of the sailors’ repentance that parallels that of Nineveh, is explicit, “And the men feared the L-rd greatly and they offered sacrifices to the L-rd and made vows.” (1, 16)

The repentance of Nineveh, however, unlike that of the sailors is characterized as arising out of belief, “The men of Nineveh believed in G- d, they called a fast and put on sack, from the youngest to the oldest”(3,5). The psychological link between fear and belief is highlighted in “The people feared the L-rd and they believed in the L-rd and Moses, his servant.” (JPS commentary to Yonah 3,5 from Exodus 14,31)

There is a view that conveys that this is considered unstable. Fear may be a great uplifter and motivator, but often it does not last. This kind of repentance may be followed by the long, hard work of self- examination and progressive inner change, or, it may eventuate in angry rebellion and return to the old lifestyle. Not surprisingly, most of the book of Exodus is an account of the frequent backsliding of the Children of Israel, despite the fact that they feared and believed. This kind of repentance demands a walling of major aspects of one’s personality and forced impoverishment of the self. It is better than nothing, but it is far from ideal. The Rabbis called it Repentance through Fear.

The sailors and men of Nineveh embody this kind of repentance, an abrupt change of course but not necessarily change of heart, before the power of G-d. At the same time Sefer Yonah stays invariably focused on another kind of repentance – that of the prophet Yonah. This man, Yonah, is not afraid of G-d; he will not be bowed by His power and might. Yet, on the other hand, his heart is open to learning from events and circumstances that befall him. Needless to say, he does not preach repentance to Nineveh, for he does not accept the very concept of repentance. His confidence in this rigid morality is shaken by G-d’s tolerance of his own rebellion and by His Mercy by sending him a miraculous salvation within the belly of the fish. So he succumbs and goes to Nineveh. But he is not yet fully convinced. Yonah must yet undergo more revelations and again experience G-d’s personal kindness to him. Eventually he learns, and what he learns never leaves him. This kind of repentance is as solid as a rock and our Sages referred to it as Repentance through Love. Love here means noble motivations as opposed to fear for one’s survival and terror of punishment.

But one needs a balance.

Rabbi Jay Shapiro, one of my mentors, quotes Rav Eliyahu Lapian’s parable and explanation on the contradiction. Once, there was a king that was very popular and loved by all. He had an important meeting cross-country and the optimal form of transportation was the royal train. It was a three-day trip, with planned designated stops all throughout the country. Towards the end of his route to the meeting, the royal train pulls into this town. It seemed like the townspeople were hungrily ready for his arrival. Banners were hanging on the rafters of the train station with the words ‘WE LOVE YOU KING’, the band was playing his favorite song during a presentation by the second grade choir of the town’s prestigious school; the clowns were juggling; the hot dog stand was full.

All were waiting to see His Majesty the King; the enthusiastic noise was getting more intense. After fifteen minutes, a guard emerges and made an announcement: “The King loves you all, but he’s had a long day and he’s trying to get some sleep; he has a major conference tomorrow and he would appreciate some quiet.” After the guard returned back to the train the crowd continued the noise. “WE LOVE YOU KING!” they proclaimed as they showed more of their intense love. The band played louder; the juggler added another ball; more hotdogs and Marino’s ices were added.

A little while later, a guard emerged from the train, this time slightly agitated and a bit more firm, “We ask you nicely, the King has a very important meeting tomorrow and needs his sleep. Please refrain from noise.” The guard disappeared back into the train, presumably satisfied that his words made an impression. But that did not stop the crowd; they had anticipated this day for a while and were eager to show their love and affection to the king. They continued making noise.

Ten minutes later six guards appeared on the high platform next to the locomotive, carrying rifles. The head guard spoke up: “Whoever makes another sound will be shot!”

As a result of these frightening words, you could’ve heard a pin drop among the three thousand well-wishers.

Rav Lapian asks, “Do they still love their king? The answer is yes, but now they fear him as well as love him. If there would be no fear, the important mission would not have been accomplished properly, even though the right intentions were at heart.”

In order for us to function as proper Jews and to adhere to his laws correctly, progressively and efficiently, one has to incorporate a little fear as well as the love that one dearly possesses for Him, or else there will be total chaos. A person may eat pig and say “I appreciate the food G d has giving me.” There is an expression, which is used frequently “I love G d in my heart and I’ll show it my way.” This is inappropriate; there are rules and they have to be followed. For example, if one violates Shabbat he will pay the consequences. Logically, it of course makes sense to have law and order, or religion will be a free for all.

The same can be said with parents who treat their children like best friends where the children call them by their first name. This is love without the awe. Fear or awe can be debilitating to such an extent where children do not confide in their parent.

There are some difficulty with the two brother’s approach to life. It’s very commendable that the one brother went back however he is susceptible – both him and his family to influence. The other brother has deprived others of his valuable experience. This goes against Ahava which the Kohanim convey in their bracha. One has to balance love and fear in order to be the complete man.