Spark of Jewish Experience

Look at how time flies! This week we conclude the book of Shemot, and wow! we haven’t even had Purim yet, due to the leap year, two months of Adar. In this week’s Torah portion, the Mishkan -Tabernacle has been completed and the inauguration immanent. Moshe and Aharon, two brothers, the leaders of the Jewish people, probably, the most successful brothers that have taken a leadership role in the history of civilization, have guided the Jews in becoming a nation. Actually, for that matter, Moshe is considered the greatest leader ever. This was accomplished by their tremendous love to the Master of the Universe.

There is a tremendous lesson one can learn from these intriguing two brothers, Moshe and Aharon and how they were able to gel together, have the utmost respect for each other, even though they were raised in different setting. Moshe grew up in prominence, a prince in the house of Pharaoh. Aharon was reared amongst his brethren, the slaves. Even more challenging, how they were able to be so productive and run a nation.  Although, it was a time of open miracles and the fact that the two had enormous fate helped elevate their effort to a supernatural way we still have to examine the relationship between the greatest leader and the charismatic and holy Kohen Gadol, Moshe and Aharon.

 Their relationship was a delight; it was a far cry from some of the previous sibling relationships which we learned about in the book of Bereshit; Yaacov and Eisav, Yishmael and Yitzchak, Kayin and Hevel, and Yosef and his brothers. And if we examine the Parshiot and Medrashim closely we can see the difference in personality was very apparent. It seemed like Moshe and Aharon were opposites.

 The relationship between man, wife and G-d is intriguing and we can learn a tremendous insight, which is also is found in these last parshiot.  The Mishkan, which is discussed in all of the last four parshiot, was constructed on the donations of the Jewish nation. One of the vessels, the Kiyor was made out of copper and was donated by the Jewish women. The wives gave their mirrors through which they prepared and beautified themselves for their husbands.

 Moshe at first was reluctant and even verbally opposed to accept the mirrors citing that it came from lust and passion. These type of subject matters should be left in the private bedroom not the holy temple.

 However G-d interceded and told Moshe to accept the Mirrors. On the contrary it would be an honor considering the self-sacrifice and courage of these women who devised a plan to persuade their husband after a grueling day of being tortured and overworked by the Egyptians to have relations for the sake of having children and ensure Jewish continuity.

 The question posed: Granted if it was such a commendable and courageous act orchestrated by our holy mothers, then why wasn’t Moshe able to come to the same conclusion himself?   It is made more intriguing by the fact that Moshe just returned from the heavens after spending a total of 120 days there.  One would figure if you spend time with G-d one might have an edge and be proficient in these matters.

 Secondly, where was Aharon? He was a man of peace, a man who understood all the marital difficulties. Considering he felt and witnessed the pain of the people during the morbid time of servitude, he should have spoken out as well!

Aharon was Moshe right hand man.  A closer reading of the Torah’s account reveals the leadership of Israel to have been a team effort: ever present at Moses’ side is his older brother, Aaron. At times Aaron’s role is strongly pronounced, at times it is scarcely discernible, but he is always there.

When Moshe confronts Pharaoh, it is together with Aaron, who plays a major role in performing the miracles and bringing on the plagues that force the release of the Israelites. When G-d commands His first mitzvah to the Jewish people, it is addressed “to Moshe and to Aaron”-a phrase that often appears in the Torah amidst the many “G-d spoke to Moses” introductions to its laws. When the people complain, it is “to Moshe and to Aaron” that they address their grievances; when Korach challenged Moshe’s leadership, it was a rebellion also (indeed, primarily) against Aaron’s place in the leadership.

What is the difference between the two? There are two ways to get a sinner to repent: Through words of reproach, or through a hug.

 Moses’ first recorded words in the Bible, uttered upon seeing a Hebrew fistfight, are: “Why are you beating your fellow [even if he is wicked like you]? Moses didn’t beat around the bush. He reprimanded his brethren out of concern.

If Aaron had been there he might have said it differently. As the Midrash recounts: “When Aaron would pass a wicked man, he would greet him warmly. The next day, when the wicked man would want to engage in sin, he would think to himself, ‘Woe is to me! How will I be able to look upon Aaron tomorrow when he greets me with love?'” Aaron transformed people through love and his confidence in them.

The different approaches of Moshe and Aaron are summed up in the Midrashic statement: “Aaron would never mention a person’s sin to them, while Moses would rebuke them.”

It’s not that Aaron didn’t care about their spiritual wellbeing. Nothing could be further from the truth. “Hillel said: Be of the disciples of Aaron, who loved his fellow creatures and drew them close to Torah.”

Aaron shared Moshe’ passion for drawing people close to G-d. His modus operandi, however, was his all-embracing attitude, directed even at those whose only redeeming factor was that they were G-d’s creatures.

Moshe was a man of truth, Aaron of peace. Moshe sought justice, Aaron sought resolution to conflict. There is a real difference between these two approaches. Truth, justice, law: the Moshe approach. Mediation, conflict resolution, compromise, the Aaron-type virtues. With these two approaches a nation was born. Perhaps we have to think similarly, in our lives. How to be productive and how to accomplish it in the optimal way. We have to find people weather a wife, business partner or a mere friend that do not possess the same qualities as us but quite the contrary.

 Besides for Moshe and Aharon, the Torah bring a classic example of a relationship right at the start of the Torah, Adam and Eve.

The Torah stated that “It is not good for man to be alone”. What was “not good” about Adam’s condition without Chava that led to her creation? Our first reaction assumes that Adam desperately needed Chava, because without her, he could not continue humankind beyond his own lifetime. It was “not good” that he found himself unable to reproduce. It is impossible, however, that the Torah meant that Chava was created to allow Man to procreate. Why would Man have been created any differently from any other animal species, whose reproductive capacity was assured with its creation?

 The Torah must mean something quite different. The females of other species make themselves available to mate, but not for anything substantially more. They do not enter into a life-long identification with a single male.

This state of affairs was “not good.” G-d therefore announces that He would make the human female different from the female of other species. Woman will be at Man’s side throughout his life.

This turns out to be a complex change from the prevailing model in the animal kingdom, and not a simple one. Man carries within him many capacities which vary enormously between individuals. No single skill set would enable Woman to complement Man, to help him in all his pursuits, at all junctures of his life. Woman was therefore given flexibility and plasticity. She would be able to partner with her mate in whatever he pursued. Standing “opposite him” is a perfect way of expressing this. She would not fill a particular need or group of needs, but would round out his activity and personality in myriad ways. “Opposite him” is not a vague description of assigned role, but testimony to her possession of many talents. It means that she was created to be opposite him, to offer a different voice and perspective from his, particularly when he acts out on some deficiency.

A person whose behavior at a given moment is shaped by some character flaw might enjoy and appreciate the full support of his wife. This, of course, is short-sighted and counterproductive. His real interests are much better served by a wife who is critical of him, when her criticism is delivered for a constructive purpose. He won’t learn unless someone is there to point out his errors and deficiencies. He might wince in pain at her opposition, but by preventing him from acting inappropriately, she acts as his true helper. Her opposition is the best assistance he can receive; it is no genuine opposition at all

This is precisely what Sages mean. If he merits, her opposition itself will help him. If he does not merit the good wife, she will not oppose his baser behavior, but go along with all he does, including activities that are harmful to him. The cheerful assistance of the yes-woman may bring a short-sighted smile to his face, but it gets him nowhere in the long run. Her apparent help and assistance are inconsistent with his best interests.

 It’s a misconception that while dating one is looking for similar qualities to themselves. Interestingly, many lectures plead not to pursue that thought pattern. I don’t think they needs to plea, or beg, for naturally subconsciously, one is looking for what they lack.

 The construction of the Tabernacle and the service in it is a case in point. In the Parshah of Tetzaveh we read how G-d assigns to Aaron and his sons the responsibility of conducting the service in the Tabernacle: they are to represent the people in the endeavor to approach and interact with G-d by offering sacrifices to Him and performing the other services in the Sanctuary. This would seem to designate the Tabernacle as Aaron’s “domain.” Yet, as mentioned above, it is Moses who must construct the Tabernacle. And it is Moses who must initiate Aaron into the priesthood. For seven days, Moses is to serve as a Kohen (in effect assuming Aaron’s role), offering the sacrifices brought by Aaron and his sons. The Tabernacle is indeed Aaron’s domain-after the seven-day initiation period. Why then didn’t Aharon assume the position from the beginning?

The reason is Moshe is ISH ELOKIM man of G-d. Whereas Aharon is the man of the people. The initial jump start, the bridge between man and G-d is best suited through Moshe. However thereafter it’s the man who identifies with the people who will be best suited for the position.

One can understand Moshe’s view as to why the mirrors would be inappropriate for the Mishkan services, however, G-d overturned the decision; Moshe was incorrect in his assessment of the matter. Nevertheless there was no complaint at all towards Moshe. There was no reprimand as to how he did not know the answer even though he was with G-d for 120 days in the heavens. Moshe was concerned about our holy mother’s intention, perhaps it was physical desire that led them to be with their husbands. If that was the case, although they would be perfectly in the right to live with their husbands and bond with them especially in this great difficult time, it, though, would not be appropriate for the temple services. However G-d is G-d and he knows what is in everybody’s heart and examined the holy righteous mothers and knew that their intentions were pure. The wives wanted to build a family, a nation. Moshe would have never have known this for it is only G-d who examines the intentions of living being.

The classic pasukim in the Torah describing two brothers who love each other are in Tehillim: “A Song of Ascents to David: Behold how good and how pleasant is it when brothers dwell together in unity. Like the precious oil upon the head running down upon the beard, the beard of Aharon, running down over his garments.” [Tehillim 133:1-2]. The phrase “brothers dwelling together in unity” (sheves achim gam yachad) refers to Moshe and Aharon. They are the quintessential “sheves achim gam yachad”. Aharon was happy for Moshe’s success and his elevation to leadership status and then when Moshe Rabbeinu saw that Aharon faltered, he nullified himself to ensure that Aharon retained the glory due him. Moshe and Aharon’s relationship is what we would all like to see among brothers — among our children and our siblings, namely the state of “Behold how good and pleasant is it when brothers dwell together in unity.”