Tag Archive for Parshat Vayechi

First Born

September 1, 2013 Uncategorized No comments

In this week’s parsha, the last in the book of Sefer Bereshit, we see a very interesting pattern, the rejection of the first-born. When Yosef brought his two sons for a blessing from Yaacov, his father, who was old and ready to pass on, he did something very peculiar. Yaacov crossed his arms so that Efraim, who was the youngest, would be under his right hand and Menashe, who was older and purposely placed by Yosef at his grandfather’s right, got the left. Yaacov, who emphasized that Menashe also received a nice bracha, gave the more important blessing to Efraim.

 

We see through history that the first born, the well-respected elder, receives double the inheritance, losing, on many occasions, the status in which he inherited. This was apparent in the first generation of the world; Cain was the oldest; however Hevel got the reward. We know that Shem, (where our ancestors come from) one of three sons of Noach, was not the first-born. Abraham passed the baton to Isaac, the youngest, and not to Yishmael. The same is said about Isaac’s sons, Eisav, who was the bechor, but Yaacov was the brother chosen. Reuben, the eldest of the twelve tribes, neither got the first-born rights, the kingdom nor the kehuna (high priest).

 

First and foremost, the Torah is trying to emphasize, even though the first-born has changed the status of man and has made him a father of this precise bechor, nevertheless, the bechor has to earn the benefits that has been bestowed upon him. There’s an express, no job is safe. Apparently, it’s a demanding role and has to be maintained to the highest standard, or else he loses it.

 

Let’s examine the first-born. The obvious question asked, is there a general personality?

 

When the Jews were about to enter Israel, the tribes of Reuben, Gad and half of Menashe, wanted to settle outside Israel proper in trans-Jordan for financial gains. Moshe reluctantly agreed, but felt it was beneath them to make such a request. It just so happens that Reuben, Gad, and Menashe are all first born. In the old world, whether Jewish or not, the first born were not only the head of the family but regarded as the high priests, the ones closest to G-d. However, the spiritual status changed with the sin of the golden calf. The first born, the high priests, were responsible for the actions of the people and they failed to lead by example. Therefore, the status was taken away from them and given to the Levites who were not part of the sin.

 

Rabbi Yisroel Reisman quotes the Niztiv. When Yaacov was giving the brachot before his death, the passage quotes Yaacov in describing his dethroned bechor, Reuben, as ‘pachad mayim’ – rushed waters. This typifies Reuben’s character, as well as many first born, of one of tremendous energy, and when given the chance and the ability to focus, have tremendous drive to accomplish. Apparently, on occasions, they get so involved in what they are doing, they lose control (what happened to Eisav). Rabbi Reisman calls this type “A” personality – capable of achieving tremendous strides, very competitive under pressure, but the impulsive nature could be problematic.

 

Rabbi Reisman stresses that the key to the successes of the bechor is what history has designated him to be. His mission can only be fruitful if he goes through spirituality. This is what the first-born was meant to be. If his drive for materialistic needs is primary, then he is doomed for failure; only through spiritual channels will he succeed. If any one of those mentioned above would have dedicated more time to G-d, the Zohar says the scope of our history would have been different.

Why does the Tamar Incident Stand Out for Yehuda?

September 1, 2013 MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments

          Why is Yehuda’s reward so great? As a reward for his handling of the incident of Tamar, he received tremendous “brawny” points in this world and the next. Yaacov, his father, blessed him that he would be the king. His descendants–and only his descendants– are to be the monarchs. However, if one carefully thinks of what happened, would anybody in their right mind give the green light to burn three innocent people in Tamar and the twins that she is carrying?

          Before we answer this question let’s present a little background. Tamar, Yehuda’s widowed daughter-in-law, was tossed aside and not offered the opportunity to remarry and have children in this family. Yehuda was concerned for the safety of his last son. When bad luck strikes, one cuts their losses and severs contacts. Perhaps this was Yehuda’s intentions. Tamar took action. Showing tenacity and cleverness, she disguised herself as a prostitute and lured Yehuda into having relations with her and he had no idea it was his daughter-in-law. Months later, it was discovered that she’s pregnant. Yehuda, figuring she had relationship with someone outside his family, demanded a trial where, if found guilty, she would be punished with death. At the trial where basically everyone was present, Tamar produced Yehuda’s stick. She told Yehuda and all the other people “whoever this stick belongs to is the one responsible for my pregnancy”. Yehuda then realized it was he who had impregnated her.
          Tamar put the ball in his court. No one knew whose stick it was except for Yehuda and Tamar. For Yehuda, who was considered a man of prominence, to go to a prostitute, was considered very demeaning. If it were disclosed at the trial that it was indeed Yehuda, he would have been the laughingstock of the town. Yehuda then acknowledged in public that indeed it was he who was responsible for his daughter-in-law’s pregnancy. Now any person with integrity would have saved these people (Tamar and unborn twins) from death. So why was Yehuda’s action singled out?
          Many people, especially leaders, welcome self-improvement. They want to be the best they can be. However, they will improve in a more private setting. No one wants to show their vulnerability. Many of us will rationalize that if I get embarrassed, it will be a strike against G-d as well, since I’m in a highly esteemed position and I’m Jewish. Our Jewishness will be slighted and embarrassed. It’s not me that I’m concerned about, it’s the company, the cause, the system etc. It will not benefit anybody if we disclose our mishaps. Once one’s reputation is on the line, they can rationalize that perhaps I’m not so guilty. Subconsciously, they want to justify their actions because their integrity and ego is in question.
          Yehuda, as a judge, had numerous ways to re-direct the situation and everybody will come out looking clean. One should know that the essence of repentance is the acknowledgement of wrong-doing. He was one of the first individuals in the history of the world to publicly do repentance. Yehuda didn’t hesitate; he blurted out TZADKA MIMENI- SHE WAS RIGHT. I take responsibility for my mistake. It was not just to keep her alive, but also to emphasize that she was right in her actions. He wasn’t afraid to disclose the truth. He did not find a way to hide or cover the truth. This is the essence of his name, “acknowledgement”. Yehuda personifies what truth is all about. He is not afraid to show the world that he erred. In fact, he stepped forth in order to show that one has to correct himself. This is a true sign of leadership.

How to Combat the Evil Eye

September 1, 2013 G-d and Us No comments

 

Do you believe in the evil eye? Do you believe that it has an influence on life?  Born and bred in the United States, one is trained to think that the evil eye is superstition. It is categorized together with walking under a latter or crossing the street when a black cat crosses your path. However, coming from a Bukharian, Sephardic etc. background, staying away from the evil eye was and is a significant part of our lives. Can one remember the remedy of boiling metal and spilling it in to a pot of water forming a shape, over the head of the one who is the victim of the evil eye? Boy, that was pretty creepy; that’s spooky stuff!! It seems like Bukharians have a whole cookbook of remedies for AYIN HARA!!

The Talmud approaches the subject of the evil eye very seriously. Rav says in tractate Baba Metzia, “99% of deaths have occurred from the result of the evil eye”. One has to say that I am from the genealogy of Yosef!! The Passuk says: “BEN PORAT YOSEF, BEN PORAT ALEH AHYIN”. Aleh Ahyin means that Yosef is above the radar, above the eye, and therefore not affected by the evil eye. Yosef is compared to the fish of the sea. Just like fish can’t be seen because they’re under the water, so too regarding the genealogy of Yosef.

 

The question is asked, “are we not mostly from the tribe of Yehuda and Benyamin”? How can we say that we are from Yosef?

 

When the brothers came down to Egypt with their families, it was Yosef who financed them, he took care of them. He treated them in a way similar to that of a teacher or Rabbi who teaches and takes care of his students as they are transformed under his umbrella.

 

Why does Yosef have protection against the evil eye? Yosef was very careful not to invade other’s belongings. The wife of Potiphar belonged to Potiphar. Yosef, with all his strength, protected himself from not looking or touching her. That’s not mine!! I can’t have it!  Therefore, as measure for measure, no one can touch or invade him and his belongings.

 

How does the evil eye, the AYIN HARA, work?

 

This world is a mirror image of what occurs in the heavens. There is a lot of traffic going back and forth. For example, music is rooted in the seventh chamber of heaven, called ARAVOT. When one feels good because he heard a nice tune, it’s because it trickles down from the roots in heaven, and then we enjoy it in its earth bound destination. This concept applies to all things. In other words, we have to connect to the roots, the source. So in order to fight AYIN HARA, we have to look to the heavens. If one sees his friend succeeding financially or has a beautiful wife and nice kids and he’s in wonderment, even in a pleasant way, he cuts the roots. One has to say to himself that this has been given by G-d. G-d did this. One has to be mindful that his wonderment of others’ opens the door for people to look at him and give him the evil eye!!  If he says “this is from G-d” then he connects to the roots and does not allow AYIN HARA to affect him.

 

Finding a job can be challenging. Let’s say that one finds a dreamlike position. If he feels that he worked hard and he accomplished it through his power, without the intervention of the heavens, then he cuts the root of parnassa. That’s not the mindset one should have.

 

Yosef’s name at times is spelled with a HEY YEHOSEF. The HEY has the numerical value of 5. After many years, when Yaacov finally saw Yosef for the first time, Yaacov said Shema Yisrael. Shema is recited when putting the hand with its five fingers over the face.

 

When Yosef was born, Yaacov felt that now is the time to leave his father-in-law, Lavan’s, house, and face his brother Eisav. The scripture says that “he (Eisav) saw (with his eyes) Yaacov’s wives and children.” Who are these (wonderful beautiful people)”? Eisav asks. Yaacov’s reply was “these are the children that G-d gave”. Yaacov connected to the heavens therefore prevented the evil eye of Eisav from harming his family.

It seems that one has to have the right mind set when dealing with friends and acquaintances. If one has the proper attitude towards others, only then he will automatically be protected from the evil eye.