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This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Yissachar frand, Berel Wein, Yossi Biliu
 .It’s strange how we see the “well” in the background of many of the momentous story lines in the Torah. However, in this week’s parsha it takes center stage, a starring role as one of the main topics of the sedr’a.
Many of our leaders expressed their appreciation of G-D’s kindness through songs. We have the song of the sea, when Moshe broke out in song after being redeemed from Egypt while his sister Miriam led the singing for the women. Then there was the Prophetess Devorah and King David who were exemplary in their ability to raise their voices with praises to the one above. This week’s Torah portion, Parshat Chukat, provides an example of an entirely different kind of a voice: not the voice of one person, but the voice of an entire group, indeed of an entire nation. It is the Song of the Well, of the Be’er. It seems like the song is a ceremonial correlation of all of the mentions of the be’er in the Torah. One may wonder the mystique of “the well” and why it is cited in certain situation throughout the Torah. The most frequent association of the “well” is it being in the background of finding a mate. Whether it was Eliezer, the servant of Avraham, looking for a wife for Yitzchak, Yaakov meeting Rachel, or Moshe finding Tziporah, all revolved around the shadow of the be’er. Perhaps that was the hot spot, the social gathering where one looks for his other half. The Grossingers of yesteryear (how many remember or would like to forget that meeting place). Perhaps humans haven’t changed much through time. It seems all mothers worry and rebuke their children saying “you’re getting old, all your friends are married, time to go to the well. Get a bucket and pretend you’re there for the water.”
When we learned this story in grade school, we all pictured a dramatic scene of a macho, muscle-bound Yaakov demonstrating awesome power and impressing Rachel with his good looks and great strength. Then we imagined a scene right out of a Hollywood script: Rachel falls madly in love with Yaakov, they get married and live happily ever after. However, that picture of events is far from accurate. Does it not seem strange that all these shepherds, who were going through this routine, day after day, year after year, did not have the strength to remove the rock but Yaakov- the Yeshiva student from the Yeshiva of Shem V’Ever, who had (according to the Medrash) spent the last 14 years learning day and night, did have the strength? Yaakov, in fact, probably looked more like the stereotypical pale, emaciated Yeshiva weakling than like a Hollywood he-man. How was it that he could move the rock and all the rugged shepherds could not? It is interesting to note that the Torah lavishes a great deal of space and detail to this incident at the well while the Torah tells us nothing about the fourteen years of Yaakov’s life that passed between his leaving home and arriving at the house of Lavan. Many men have tried to lift the stone that hides these sweet waters, but only Yaakov Avinu succeeded in revealing its undiscovered depths. Similarly, Moshe, our leader, who took us out of Egypt, was the hero of the day winning the hand in marriage of one of the damsels in distress, Tziporah. He too was involved with the “well”, however in his case, the nasty shepherds would always harass the water drawers.
The Be’er is a source of blessing, an ever flowing spring of G-d’s beneficent bounty. This Be’er followed Bnai Yisrael as they escaped from Egypt, and continues traveling with them in the desert. What is so special about the well? What can we learn from the story line of Yaakov and Rachel at the well? Perhaps the answer lies where the water lies, underneath the ground in the Be’er. The subject matter, which is the water in this case, is not seen; it is concealed. One only sees the shell of the well.
Take Esther herself. No one except Mordecai knows who she really is. Even King Achashveros is kept in the dark. “Ein Esther magedet moledetah” says the Megillah in 2:20. “Esther did not reveal her origins.” This is the theme of the day: nothing is revealed. Note also the lineage of the protagonists of the Purim story. It is the lineage of hiddenness. Mordechai and Esther are descendants of Rachel Imenu. Rachel, the mother of Yosef and the wife of Yaakov, the muscle bound yeshiva boy, is the very essence of hiddenness and concealment. When her sister Leah is substituted for her in marriage to Yaakov, why does Rachel not cry out and protest that an injustice is being done? Because to do so would have humiliated her sister. Rachel knows how to conceal things, including her bitter disappointment. The well conceals the very essence of life. This is the Torah’s message! A bracha’s inception is best through concealment and modesty. No one has to know! No one sees the water. This is what the Torah is trying to convey through the be’er. The most important aspect of life is conceived in the bedroom in the dark, under the covers, between husband and wife. Interestingly Yaakov and for that matter Moshe overcame symbolically, the rock and the nasty shepherds. The stone sits perched atop the well, the many sins which keep us entrenched in this long and bitter exile. The key to understanding this whole chapter is a stanza which we recite in the Prayer for Rain (recited on Shemini Atzeret). The poet there uses the language “He concentrated his heart and then rolled off the stone” (yichad lev, vaYagel Even). In other words, Yaakov did not use his biceps or his upper body strength to move the boulder. Yaakov used concentration of the heart. All that he learned from his parents, the Yeshiva, the good values, gave him the strength to move away the negativity and draw the sweet concealed waters that are needed to live life the way G-d intended us to live. In the song the individual voice is concealed is drowned out by the chorus of many. For discretion is vital. If one wants to seek the water of life-mayim chaim, which includes finding a mate, having children etc., it should be performed quietly. Every action one does should be conducted without the fanfare. Be’ezrat Hashem may we all draw the sweet waters from the well of life.
Spring up, O well – sing to it – |
Tag Archive for Rachel
I met my soulmate at the well
There are many questions to be asked on many of the incidences. Let’s explore one seemingly strange story line when Yaakov meets Rachel, his future wife. Upon Yaakov’s arrival in Paddan Aram [Bereshis 29: 1-11], the Torah relates the incident of when Yaakov gave water to the sheep from the well. A large boulder sat atop a certain well from which all the flocks were given to drink. The rock could not be moved until all the shepherds gathered to collectively remove it from the well and then collectively replace it. When Yaakov arrived, the rock was still covering the well, so he removed it himself. Rashi notes that Yaakov removed the rock as easily as one would remove a cork from a bottle; it was that easy.
This theme of concealment is found in the very name of the heroine of Purim. “Esther” derives from the root word “hester” which in Hebrew means “hidden.” In the Torah (Dt. 31:18), G-d says to Israel: “I will surely hide (hastir astir) My face from you.” The sages see this Hebrew phrase as a subtle suggestion of the hiddenness of G-d during the time of Esther.
SONG OF THE BE’ERManipulation: dangerous or productive.
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Chaim Wagner, Dr. Abba Goldman
The great man! G-d empowered him with the ability to build or destroy the world. Man has the ability physically as well as spiritually, using the tools given, to make use of G-d’s playground as he wishes. Of course, inevitably, he will have to answer for his actions but for now he’s a free bird.
There is one particular tool that’s very interesting and I’d like to illustrate with a story that actually happened. Unfortunately, it happens quite often. The names and places are changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
Being single in the Jewish scene is very difficult. There is a lot of pressure in getting married and starting a family. Mazal is mazal, for some it’s easy to find “the one” and for some it’s not so easy. As an Orthodox Jew there is a degree of modesty that one has to adhere to and therefore he/she cannot, for the most part meet their mate anywhere. One goes on numerous blind dates. The credentials of the guy and girl are carefully checked before the two go out. It is rare that one meets his Eshet Chail walking up to her, with a drink in his hand, at a bar. The pick-up line, among the Orthodox is a lot less apparent than in the secular world. However its difficult, at times to stay idle and wait for the matchmaker or friend to call.
At one point, going to the Catskill Mountains for weekend Shabbatons at hotels was considered making an additional attempt. It makes the individual feel good that perhaps he’s making an effort, that perhaps he’s doing something!! The atmosphere, though, is very tense. People bottle up their emotions and try to put up a very happy face when going to a singles social gathering. There is much competition and a lot of hurtful feeling going around when what you perceive to be “the one you would spend a lifetime with” doesn’t agree with your sentiments. However, one cannot visibly display their inner pain. At times those feeling are displayed in a roundabout way.
Ruben and Lee were lounging around the hotel lobby on a Shabbat afternoon bored and a bit tired. They were surrounded by a few friends watching as other guests of the hotel, who were part of a singles Shabbaton, were entering and leaving when a familiar face, Sammy, entered the lobby.
As Sammy made his way and said his hello to the guys, he started to brag, as he usually does, about himself, about his business dealing the past week, and his good fortune he’s having over the weekend, Ruben glanced a smirk to Lee. Lee foresaw exactly what Ruben was going to do as he played along with him.
Ruben interrupted him and began to discuss a mutual friend who also approached the same girl as he did. “And did you know, Lee, they were talking for hours this afternoon” Ruben looked at Lee’s direction, as Lee nodded, yes. Lee, then, chimed in and, on a completely different topic, and said mockingly “and you know David said (a business maven in their circle of friends)” who ever bought the stock Three Star is going to take a bath”. They knew Sammy invested, heavily, in the stock. Ruben and Lee perhaps, perturbed by the weekend anxieties or by the annoyance of Sammy, cleverly and brilliantly engineered the fable story of the girl talking to the other friend as well as David’s prediction of the failed stock.
Ruben and Lee succeeded in accomplishing what they wanted, as Sammy exploded, made an ugly scene, and practically drew out, in a fit of rage, both the manager of the hotel and the program organizer to contain him.
Ruben and Lee knew Sammy had a short fuse; they knew what buttons to push. They were toying with him predicting and placing bets at what precise moment Sammy will lose it. After seeing this display, one is left to wonder are we wolves dressed up like sheep?
Man is made up of a four chemical makeup: fire, water, wind, and sand. Depending on each individual, the chemical makeup differs. If fire is dominant, then a person tendency’s is toward anger or toward pursuit of honor. When fire is lit, if one notices, it tends to go up; the same with a person who desires “kavod” – honor – if he receives just a slight compliment, his ego goes up, and up and away. If one tends to gravitate towards water, then he’s more prone to lusty bodily desires; that’s what’s on his mind. Wind is lightheadedness and sand is laziness and depression.We read in this week’s parsha about a Nazir – a person who takes a vow to separate oneself from material pleasures. The Nazir may not drink wine or cut his hair. The Nazir is also prohibited in defilement through contact with a dead body.
When we speak about a Nazir the first name that comes to mind is Shimshon the most famous of them all.
Shimshon’s parents’ prayers were answered and after many years, they had a baby boy. However, the messenger, an angel, informed Shimshon’s mother “The baby you will have cannot drink wine and cut his hair.” Shimshon had tremendous strength and the secret of his strength was his “nezerut” (refraining from wine and a good barber).
Shimshon had a tendency to gravitate towards non-Jewish women. His first wife was burned by the Jews’ bitter enemy – Philishtim. His second wife, Delila, also not Jewish, was beautiful and Shimshon was smitten by her. Why did she marry him? Well, he wasn’t exactly your typical Jewish accountant. He was strong and the Philishtim were scared of him.
Delila was genuinely a good person; however, as time went on, she got corrupted. The spies of the Philishtim came over to Delila and offered her tremendous wealth and status. Then after the first meeting went so well, the officers came up to her place. Delila was flattered; she received so much attention and “kavod”. They knew how to manipulate her. A good person can deteriorate. Some say she had an affair; others say she had an affair with the money, with the “kavod”. Delila was sold on being their spy and she went to work for the Philishtim. She was to find out the secret of her husband’s power. She tortured him, refraining from sexual relations unless he reveals his secret. She nagged him and at times crying, “You don’t love me.” Apparently, she knew how to manipulate him. It’s hard for a man to be blackmailed with having physical relations. However, he can overcome and be strong. There was one important factor in this relationship; he loved her more then she loved him and she knew it!Shimshon was a very holy and great man who was extremely sincere and loved G-d very much. One should never do what Shimshon did; he invited G-d to test his weakness. We tend to get all gung-ho about our religious level and sometimes we pray and say things that will haunt us later. Shimshon eventually revealed his secret and Delila quickly passed it on to the Philishtim contacts. Tragic ending to Shimshon.
At a banquet where all the major officers of the Philishtim army came to celebrate the capture of Shimshon who was chained to the great pillar at the banquet, Shimshon, whose eyes were gorged out, prayed one last time to G-d to forgive him and give him strength this one last time. G-d answered his prayer and with one thrust, he brought down the pillars and the building, and killed everyone, including himself.
Many lessons can be learned from the story of Shimshon and Delila but the one that’s greatly apparent is how manipulation was used to destroy a man. Furthermore the woman who destroyed Shimshon was manipulated herself. The manipulation tactic was aimed at their weakness and succeeded in exposing it.
However, manipulation can be positive. Aharon, Moshe’s brother was, famously known as, a man of peace, who deceived others in order to secure the “shalom” whether it be between husband and wife or friends. Manipulation, we see was a major and successful tool used by the greatest peacemaker of all time.
Interestingly, Yaakov, our forefather knew his future father-in-law, Lavan would try to manipulate him. So he devised a plan revealing to Rachel, the one he loved, secret signs as a precautionary measure just in case Lavan actually does switch Rachel with her sister Leah.
Indeed the switch took place and the next morning, low and behold, it’s Leah. However, we find that Leah wasn’t punished for deceiving and manipulating Yaakov. In fact, one can say it was admirable of her for going through with the charades. She didn’t want to marry a “rasha” like Eisav who she was destined for. So why does the verse say she was “senua”- hated by Yaakov? It was not manipulation at all. When Yaakov asked the next morning “why did you answer “yes” when I called Rachel’s name throughout the night” she responded rudely “I’m just following your example; when you received the “bracha” from your father, you answered deceitfully “I’m your oldest son – Eisav”. This is the reason why Yaakov became distant from Leah.
Manipulation is a way of life; it’s a tool that can be used to make people better or destroy them. Yes, it can reflect a lack of appreciation for another human being. One undermines another’s dignity. The manipulator gets his way in an underhanded manor. It shows a lack of respect. However, we mentioned briefly that Leah raised the issue how Yaakov and his mother, Rivka, conspired to manipulate Yitzchak, his father and that was crucial in the development of the Jewish people. Yitzchak, himself, later realized that he was wrong in favoring Eisav and believing he’s the chosen one.
Granted, in most cases it can lead to trouble, however, the Torah was made for people who have a mind and can reason. Nothing in this world is black and white. One should use prudent judgment and ask advice. G-d gave us all gifts and weaknesses and it’s our job to bring out the positive energy in others whatever which way. It’s also apparent that we must not let our weaknesses be magnified and fall victim to manipulation.
We see through manipulation the nation of Israel was formed. It can build or destroy – the choice is ours.
Clarity: Pro’s and Con’s in the Jewish family
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s, Berel Wein, Yossi bilus, Ozer Alport also contributing Dr. Mirriam Adahan a psychologist, therapist, author and founder of EMETT (“Emotional Maturity Established Through Torah”)-a network of self-help groups
This week’s parsha marks another new beginning in our public reading and personal understanding of the Torah. Whereas the first two books of the Torah are mainly narrative in nature and content, with personal stories of our forefathers, the book of Vayikra is mainly a book of laws and commandments and of the nature of purity and impurity, sacrificial offerings and priestly obligations.
An interesting question arises as to why the book is called “Vayikra”= “And He called” (And G-d called Moshe). Perhaps, it would be best to call it “Sacrifices” or “Atonement”. It doesn’t make sense that the book is named “And He called”.
For the almost 40 years in the desert G- d had spoken only to Moshe. Moshe would then deliver G-d’s words to the people accurately without additions or deletions. Following the delivery of the exact words G-d had spoken, Moshe would then elaborate and explain the meaning and application of G-d’s words. Matan Torah (Revelation-when we received the Torah) was the single exception. Matan Torah was the only time the nation heard G-d speak without the human buffer of Moshe’s ministry. This meant that for the better part of 40 years the Jews had to extend to Moshe absolute trust. They had to trust that the words he delivered to them were absolutely the same as the ones G-d had spoken to him.
It seems like there is a strong reliance of important information that had to be presented to the children of Israel. Therefore, it might be a splendid idea to explore the importance of the power of communication.
When one voices his opinion, is he understood? It’s frustrating at times, when one expresses himself and he’s not being conveyed correctly. I believe, many of us have gone through that experience at one point or another. Perhaps, not being understood with mundane matters is simply, just an annoyance; however one can only hope, that the more important feelings are expressed fully to the highest degree. This is a frequent problem when there is a culture gap between parents and children or teachers and students. However, even with one’s “own kind”, misunderstanding can be a dilemma.
Interestingly, one of the most famous routines, in American culture, by the 1940’s-50’s comedy team of Abbot and Costello, called “who’s on first”, involves misunderstanding. It was so popular; the routine was performed in front of the president of the United States, at the time. In the routine Abbot gives instruction how to play the game of baseball, by describing the position players. He starts off by saying “who is on first, what’s on second and I don’t know is on third”. It seems like he’s not familiar with the players’ names however, Abbot is, in actuality really mentioning the names of the players. The name of the first basemen is indeed “Who”; the name of the second basemen is indeed “Whats”; the third basemen name is “Idontno”. It frustrates Costello to no end.
It’s one of the most brilliant comedy routines ever made but, in reality, it is not a laughing matter. In essence we are laughing at ourselves. Perhaps, that is the reason for its popularity; it’s too close to home. We spend pain staking time and money, by taking courses, to make ourselves clear so we should not be misunderstood. It is said: “whoever has clarity, he possesses a gift!”
We see from the Torah how a misunderstanding can be detrimental to our existence.
This communication gap is demonstrated very sharply when Rachel, Yaakov’s beloved wife, sees that her sister Leah keeps delivering one child after another, she turns to him with an impossible request:
“Grant me children or I will die.”
The enraged and perplexed Yaakov answers:
“Can I assume G-d’s role? He is the one who prevented you from having children.”
Rachel then goes on to offer him her maidservant as a surrogate mother and the issue seems to have been settled, but the Midrash (scriptures from our Sages) does not let Yaakov off the hook that easily:
G-d told Yaakov: “Is this a way to answer a woman in distress? I swear that one day your sons are going to plead for their lives from her son!”
The Midrash is based on the reappearance in Bereshit(50:19) of Yaakov’s three first words, this time said by Yosef, his son from Rachel, to his sons from his other wives:
This conversation took place after Yaakov’s burial. The brothers feared that now that Yaakov is gone, Yosef is going to take revenge for the suffering they inflicted on him, to which he answered: “Fear not! Can I assume G-d’s role?”
“Grant me children or I will die.”
The enraged and perplexed Yaakov answers:
“Can I assume G-d’s role? He is the one who prevented you from having children.”
Rachel then goes on to offer him her maidservant as a surrogate mother and the issue seems to have been settled, but the Midrash (scriptures from our Sages) does not let Yaakov off the hook that easily:
G-d told Yaakov: “Is this a way to answer a woman in distress? I swear that one day your sons are going to plead for their lives from her son!”The Midrash is based on the reappearance in Bereshit(50:19) of Yaakov’s three first words, this time said by Yosef, his son from Rachel, to his sons from his other wives:
This conversation took place after Yaakov’s burial. The brothers feared that now that Yaakov is gone, Yosef is going to take revenge for the suffering they inflicted on him, to which he answered: “Fear not! Can I assume G-d’s role?”
The Midrash claims that Yaakov’s punishment for the inappropriate way of speaking with Rachel was the sibling rivalry that tore his family apart and eventually humbled his children from Leah, Bilha, and Zilpa, as they had to bow down to Rachel’s own son, Yosef.
Before Rachel comes to speak to her husband, she is engulfed in feelings of sadness and frustration seeing that she has no children, whereas Leah, the once rejected wife, now has a seat of honor as the mother of Yaakov’s growing family. She feels estranged and alienated and she doesn’t see in her husband’s eyes the same sparkle that was there before.
She decides to let her husband to father a child through her maid, a common practice in the Ancient Near East, already tried by Sarah and Avraham, but first she wants to know that he understands her, that he has compassion for her.
She wants to convey her emotional turmoil to him and does it with full force:
“Grant me children, or else I’ll die!”
Perhaps, she was simply saying that without her husband’s love, and being outdone by Leah, she is as good as dead.
What Yaakov heard, however, was: “You are responsible for my sterility! Solve my problem!”
He cannot solve it, and he says it: “Can I assume G-d’s role? He is the One who prevented you from having children.”
These words hit her like a sack of bricks. Even though he meant that it is G-d, and not him, who is responsible for her situation and there is nothing he can do, no solution he can offer, she heard the emphasis on the word – you. “YOU are the one who has no children” the words explode in her ears “I already have children”. As Rashi puts it:
“I have children, G-d has made YOU, and not me, sterile”.
Yaakov should have said: “I know how you feel.” She would have retaliated with: “No, you don’t. You have your children, and as a man you will never know what it means to be barren.” He would have answered: “You are right, but I remember how my mother’s eyes would fill with tears when she spoke about the twenty first years of her marriage, years of solitude, longing and despair.”
Only after commiserating with a woman, is the man allowed exploring possible solutions. Yaakov might have directed the conversation towards her thoughts on what should be done, and she would probably say that he should pray for her, spend more time with her.
It was a terrible misunderstanding and miscommunication which led to much strife in the family, and possibly even to the exile in Egypt. It is also an important lesson to all of us, to be better listeners and to try first to understand our conversational partner and only then offer, if applicable and necessary, a solution.
DIRECT COMMUNICATION
We learn much from Yehuda’s ability to be a leader. Immediately before Yosef’s dramatic confession that he is his brother, Yehuda steps up to the plate to confront Yosef.
In Yehuda’s entire passionate address to Yosef (Gen. 44:18-34), he added no information or arguments which weren’t already known to Yosef. What was his intention in reiterating the information to Yosef, and what did he hope to accomplish by doing so?
The Bet HaLevi explains that Yehuda realized that the brothers’ original interactions with Yosef seemed bizarre and mystifying. They told him that they came to buy grain, and he responded that they were spies. They answered that they were honest, and he told them that now they had proven his claim that they were spies. Since Yosef’s responses didn’t seem to correspond to the brothers’ statements, it occurred to Yehuda that perhaps the miscommunication was due to the translator, who wasn’t accurately relaying to Yosef the content of what the brothers had said, but was instead fabricating statements which they had never made.
In order to clarify whether this was the case, Yehuda asked for permission to review the entire dialogue directly in the ears of Yosef, without the involvement of the translator. In order to preempt Yosef from responding that he didn’t understand the Hebrew language that they spoke, Yehuda stated that Yosef was like Pharaoh. If Yosef would now claim to be unfamiliar with their language, this would imply that Pharaoh didn’t know it as well, an inference which would be disrespectful to Pharaoh and therefore forbidden to make.
We see the importance, on Yehuda’s part to clarify. One has to take lesson and not let the moment depart without clarity. Here, Yehuda put his foot down and made waves in order to do so. Although, there were different circumstances for Yehuda to do so then it was at a time for Rachel. The common denominator is that they both were under tremendous pressure. Yehuda’s Olam Haba-entrance in the next world was at stake because Benyamin’s, whom he swore to return unscathed, life, was as good as dead if he remained a prisoner in Egypt. Rachel’s pain and anguish, though, of not having children was enormous!!!
So we see the importance to go against the grain of life and to be supersensitive to make sure situations are not clouded.
In our efforts, though, to clarify and not be misunderstood we can come across some difficulties. Many Psychologists urge people to, “Share your feelings,” and “Talk it out until the problem is resolved.” However, this advice can be disastrous! Not everyone values emotional honesty. Not everyone has time to listen. And a lot of people will use your personal information against you!
The reality is that not everyone is capable of “hearing” and empathizing. In fact, empathy is a rare quality, which depends on one’s personality type.
According to the Myers-Briggs personality system – people are either dominant Thinkers or dominant Feelers. Thinking types (60% of men and of 40% women) have little interest in the world of feelings. They feel no urge to share personal feelings and are irritated and bored by those who do. They often do not even know what they feel and may not care. They are focused on functioning, not feeling. In fact, they feel more powerful and in control when they do not expose their feelings. In contrast, Feeling types (60% women, 40% men) are concerned with their feelings and distressed if they cannot share them. When these two types get together, there is likely to be a lot of mutual frustration, because each has demands which the other cannot meet.One also has to be aware, when sharing will overwhelm others. It is “immodest” to share strong feelings of grief, fear or rage, especially around children, who need to see adults as a source of security and strength. To expose these feelings is just as immodest as exposing parts of the body which should be kept covered if the other person is incapable of receiving your pain with empathy and compassion.
Therefore we have to balance the ability to clarify without imposing on others, and divulging, information that can hurt us and our loved ones!!
The Book of Vayikra is called its name because its intrinsic complex laws need one to deliver the proper accurate detail. One person that’s trustworthy, that did not misunderstand G-d’s message and will not be misunderstood is Moshe.
Moreover, was the nation’s response at the time of Matan Torah. “…You (Moshe) speak to us and we will listen and do not let G-d speak, we are afraid that we will die.” In essence, at Matan Torah, the nation willingly relinquished a degree of control they otherwise would have had over the validation of G- d’s word. By asking that Moshe act as the intermediary between themselves and G-d they proclaimed their willingness to trust Moshe to faithfully deliver the word of G-d. Moreover than that was the implicit trust that they would listen to Moshe even if he had chosen to alter the word of G-d.
From that moment and on, because of their choice and because of their eventual sin, the nation did not hear G-d speak again. In its place they were given the prophecy of Moshe and the ongoing manifestation of G-d’s will in the universe through natural law and miracles. In its stead, G-d gave them exactly what they had requested. Moshe would speak and they would hear the word of G-d through him
Parshat Vayishlach
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First Portion
* DO YOU KNOW HOW TO WIN OVER YOUR ENEMY? We have our share of people who don’t exactly like us whether as individuals or as a nation. The last couple of weeks we have witnessed how easily our enemies can ignite our surroundings and put us on the edge of war. Every once in a while we get a wake up call and realize there are many who hate us. This week’s parsha is a textbook account on how to deal with our enemies. Our forefather Yaacov was informed that his brother who he hasn’t seen in over twenty years was approaching towards him with four hundred soldiers so he devised a plan on how to appease the enemy and to come out of a dangerous situation unscathed. The three point plan was prayer (some of those prayers have become the essential part of our daily services ), gifts (bribing them, resulting in their softening their stance against us) and battle (last resort). * The sages say there are seven degrees of hate that Eisav had for his brother so for this Yaacov bowed down to his brother seven times. Each time another layer of hate was removed. Although one of the lessons to be learned is not to rely on miracles and not to trust one’s own righteousness but do whatever is in your power. One should give the utmost effort, whether it be skill, charisma, intelligence, kind words to beat your foe. However it seems like from the Sages perhaps Yaacov flattered his brother a bit too much. For the seven times he bowed down to Eisav, Yaacov’s descendents were punished with seven brutal kings that tortured our people. * R Sampson Refael Hirsh indicates that the actions and philosophy of life of Yaacov and Eisav is reflected upon their respected desendents throughout history. Yaacov is absorbed in his concerns for the wholeness and welfare of his family. He builds himself up gradually, and finally attains internal happiness and a tranquil family life, but the political strength is always in the hands of others. Eisav, on the other hand, is already established as both a ruler and warlord of his people, as described at the end of the parsha. For thousands of years this struggle has continued between Yaacov and Eisav. Yaacov has the glorious family life, centered around Shabbat and Holidays while Eisav has the strength and power. Should the main focus and philosophy of man be the pursuit of political power? That is the question the Torah with all its mitzvot (commandments) gives us a clear answer on. The final victory will belong to the moral side and not the one with the power. This is evident by the kiss in which Eisav gives Yaacov, as it gives a hint as to what will happen in the end of days. The emotions Eisav shows indicates that deep within him beats a spark of humanity which he will concede and relinquish the sword philosophy. The scene where Eisav, the strong one, falls on the neck of Yaacov. That is a victory for justice which will be the final stage between the struggle of Yaacov and Eisav. Second Portion
*We learn from this section it’s not wise to travel alone at night. Yaacov encountered Eisav’s angel, after he went back to retrieve a few things (pachim), whom he fought and struggled with till the morning. *Why didn’t a dark angel confront Avraham or Yitzchak? Why just Yaacov? The reason is Yaacov represents Torah. The Satans main concern is if a Jew is learning Torah. Torah is an essential part of our being. Third Portion
* An angel has one task, mission, then he is PATUR-accomplishes his mission; the last step, whether he succeeded or not, is singing to G-d . Interestingly, Yaacov asked the angel his name (shem) however he could not answer because one’s name is defined by the accomplishment of his mission, which he failed. SHEM (name) and SHAM (there) are from the same root. One has to go there, wherever his mission is, to accomplish one’s name. That is what a soul, NE-SHAM-MA, is all about. Whenever the Torah uses the style with SHEMO first, as in SHEMO MANOACH (his name is Manoach), the Shemo serving as the lead-in indicates this particular individual accomplished his mission. However if the name is first, followed by the SHEMO, as in NAVAL SHEMO, he did not accomplish his mission. Fourth Portion
* The scripture say that they kissed. Our sages say that Eisav tried to bite Yaacov in the neck. Many commentaries say Eisav’s kiss was compared to a bite. This is symbolic; in future generations whenever Eisav embraces Yaacov the end result will be negativity, assimilation, etc. Fifth Portion
* An inhabitant of Shechem rapes Yaacov’s daughter Dina. Shimon and Levi take revenge. Did Shimon and Levi act properly, deceiving the people of Shechem and killing them? It seems like a pretty severe punishment to inflict the entire city for the act of one evil person. In the scripture the Torah seems to indirectly justify what the brothers did. Yaacov, though,to an extent agreed to the circumcision part, however didn’t know the extent of what they planned and did. He figured they would grab Dina when the men were at their weakest due to the circumcision. In essence they acted with out the approval of Yaacov. Here we learn the extent of punishment provided to an accomplice. Yaacov mentions the fact that “hono” that was violated by their actions. His sons responded when one deals with swindlers one must forgo honor. Sixth Portion
* Words are dangerous; especially ones of Tzadikim. When Lavan accused him of stealing his idols. Yaacov, out of frustration, said who ever stole the idols shall die. He was unaware that his beloved wife Rachel had done so. Seventh Portion
* After the death of Rachel, Ruben was insulted that the main bed of Yaacov was not put in his mother’s tent. So he switched the beds himself, angering his father. However Yaacov did not respond until years later when he was was about to die and giving the brachot to each son. |
Appreciating What One Does for You
The King of the Jewish nation, Shaul, felt threatened by David who became very popular by winning one of the most lop-sided one-on-one battles in history, by beating the giant and heavily favorite, the ferocious Goliath. Goliath represented one of Israel’s archrivals, the Philistines. It was a tremendous show of courage and David became an instant hero. David was from the tribe of Yehuda where the kings were to be chosen from. Shaul, who came from the tribe of Benjamin, knew inevitably someone from Yehuda would become king. Later the prophet Shmuel anointed David the future king of Israel, which infuriated the present king. Shaul’s animosity became so great toward David that he wanted to kill him. However, as time went on, David became stronger, gathering up men to join him. In one of the more famous incidences in the Tanach (Prophets), David snuck up to where Shaul was sleeping, who was in the midst of chasing him, and cut Shaul’s garment. By demonstrating this act and showing it to him later, he wanted to be clear, as to convey that he has no hostility toward Shaul and how easily it would have been to kill him.’ I have no ill will toward you’; perhaps, Shaul should soften his stance towards him. It’s most puzzling that when David who was on his deathbed, he could not keep warm; he was constantly cold and no garment could make him comfortable. Apparently, he was being punished for cutting the garment of Shaul. But why? David wanted to make a point of strength; he wanted to make peace between them. Perhaps Shaul was humiliated, but, even so, it was not intended to be a malice act. Why was he punished so severely?
In this week’s Parsha, we find Yaacov wanting to marry Rachel. He knew though, that her father, who has a reputation of a cheat, might trick him. Therefore, he gives Rachel signs that when implemented will ensure that indeed it would be Rachel he’s marrying. However, Rachel gives over the signs to her sister Leah, stating ‘I do not want my sister humiliated when Lavan’s plans foil and Yaacov discovers it’s Leah who he’s marrying and not me’.
By Rachel giving over the signs, it fortified the marriage between Yaacov and Leah and through that union producing six out of the twelve tribes. In essence, Rachel sacrificed her having all of the twelve tribes because she did not want her sister Leah to be humiliated.
The question Rabbi Olbaum asks, ‘I understand there’s no street lights and it’s properly pitch dark, but didn’t Yaacov realize it’s not Rachel he’s with? Even the breathing of a person is recognizable. If Yaacov was so careful with the signs, then wouldn’t he be as diligent and on the alert at this crucial juncture too? Nevertheless, the next morning he was surprised. How can that be?
Our sages teach us that Rachel’s virtue was modesty, to such an extent that the sensitive Yaacov wasn’t able to discover and recognize her scent and voice. This characteristic of Rachel’s embracement of modesty enabled Leah to be saved. If it were any other woman, she would have been discovered. Clothing is the face of modesty; it creates a barrier from sinning. David, who is the descendant of Leah (from the tribe of Yehuda) cut the garment of Shaul (from the descendants of Rachel).
In essence, you cut the hand that feeds you. If it weren’t for Rachel, where would Leah be? The modesty of Rachel saved Leah. David targeted one of the strengths of Shaul who also practiced, and was known for modesty, just like his ancestor. Seemingly, this lack of respect was a grave sin.
We see modesty is one of the building blocks of Judaism and clothing is its vehicle. One of the reasons a Jew wears a Talit or Tzitzit is because it is a spiritual garment in which G-d gave us. It too is a garment that represents the foundation of Judaism to the highest degree.