| Segula for an Eye Infection – Harmony Between Couples |
An important lesson in Shalom Bayit: Rabbi Meir would always give a lecture in Shul (Bet-Hakneset) Friday afternoon. Once time, the lecture took longer than usual when this woman, who attends his lectures every week, came home. She found all the lights turned off. The husband, who was quick-tempered, asked angrily, “Where were you for so long?” “I went to hear the lecturer’s speech,” she replied. “Don’t come inside unless you spit into the lecturer’s face.”
Rabbi Meir knew of these events through the spiritual force. He, therefore, sat down in the study hall and moaned that he had pain in his eye. “Is there any wise woman who knows how to heal my eye with the well-known segula (remedy) of spitting into the eyes and uttering certain formulas?”, he asked. “Take this opportunity,” the woman was advised by friends, “then your husband will be reconciled.” When she came to the study hall to see Rabbi Meir, she felt a bit silly. However, Rabbi Meir looked like he took this segula very seriously and made it feel it was crucial for this to continue in order to attempt to heal his eye. “Spit in this eye seven times and the eye will get better”. She obeyed and he told her, “Now, go home and tell your husband you spat in the lecturer’s face, not once, but seven times”.
Rabbi Meir’s students understood the purpose of this deceit. However, they proclaimed, “You’re a Talmud chacham and even more so, a leading Torah figure. Although, there was no humiliation because your performance was par excellence and very convincing, why go through all that trouble?” In fact, the Rebbi could have summoned the husband to his private chambers and scolded him that he should treat his wife better.
He replied, “Meir’s honor is not greater than his creator. For the sake of restoring peace between husband and wife, the creator permitted His name to be eradicated in the water of the sotah. It follows, then that I must certainly disregard my dignity for the sake of peace.”
The relationship of a husband and wife can see-saw back and forth from being very fragile to very strong. People don’t realize that by getting involved and giving the wrong advice, it can have a tremendous negative effect. Some of this advice is self-centered, where marriage has to be like mine or else it won’t work, not realizing that every marriage is unique and has to be treated accordingly.
Rav Meir knew this is the approach that one has to take with this couple. Yes, Rav Meir really went out of his way. Now, we can realize the magnitude of G-d’s name being erased and how he went out of his way to restore harmony between a husband and wife.
