Tag Archive for Shaul

Judaism and Loyalty

April 18, 2016 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of  Rabbi’s, Yissachar Frand, Yossi bilus, Asher Hurzberg and Mrs. Leah Kohn

L o y a l t y
 

We’re loyal to our jobs; we’re loyal to our country; we’re loyal to our spouse; we’re even loyal to our sports teams (Go, Mets)!!  Loyalty is something we do.  There are even loyalty programs that reward buyers for sticking with company brands.  Perhaps we should even start a loyalty program with our “Cup of Coffee” newsletter. This notion of loyalty programs proposed by major US companies has steadily grown in popularity.  Between 2008 and 2012, U.S. loyalty memberships increased by 10 percent per year – reaching on average over 23 memberships per household.
However, a McKinsey study showed that those that spend more on loyalty, or have more visible loyalty programs, grow at about the same rate – or slightly slower – than those that do not.  Oops! Never mind about that proposal for our “Coffee”.  Despite relative underperformance in terms of revenue growth and profitability, over the past five years, market capitalization for companies that greatly emphasize loyalty programs has outpaced that of companies that don’t.  In other words, companies are still hoping and yearning that they will be rewarded with customer loyalty in due time.  Nevertheless consumers, for the most part, are not loyal.  Perhaps, human nature is such that, people want to believe that loyalty is important to all and therefore companies are banking on that premise.
The beginning of Parshas Tazria deals with the laws of purity and impurity associated with childbirth. At the end of the 40 day period of impurity and purity following the birth of a male, or at the end of the 80 day period of impurity and purity following the birth of a female, the mother is required to bring “a sheep within its first year for an olah-offering and a young dove or a turtle dove for a sin-offering” to complete her purification process [Vayikra 12:6].
WHY SPECIFICALLY THE YOUNG DOVE OR TURTLE DOVE?
 Even though there are many kinds of kosher birds, the only kinds of birds that may be brought as sacrifices on the Altar are the young dove [ben-yonah] and the turtle dove [tor].
The Ramban writes that the Torah singled out torim as an appropriate species for karbanot-sacrifices, precisely because of their loyalty to each other. The tor [turtle dove] has a unique quality in the fact that it mates for life. If its partner is taken away from it or killed, it will not seek out another mate, but will seemingly mourn – as it were – for the first mate for the rest of its life. This unique quality makes them the optimum choice for spiritual elevation sought by the one bringing a bird sacrifice. The Ramban adds that even though bnei-yonah do not share this quality, they have an alternate characteristic which makes them appropriate. The young dove (the only kind of “ben yonah” which may be brought) has the trait that they always return to their nest. Most birds will never return to their nest once a human being touches it. The bnei yonah are an exception. They have such loyalty to their nests that they will return despite the fact that human hands may have tampered with the nest. The Ramban writes “So too Israel will not switch from loyalty to their Creator and His Torah forever.” Therefore, according to the Ramban, torim and bnei Yonah are the bird species used in the Bait HaMikdash because they share the quality of loyalty with the Jewish people
Of course, how is it possible to talk about loyalty and not discuss the most sacred union built on loyalty, namely the one between husband and wife?
Our beloved and popular king, whom we often associate with royalty, David had a wife who was the daughter of the previous king, Shaul.  When David beat Goliath he was rewarded, as promised, the king’s daughter Michal. Now, Shaul was under much pressure from having to deal with the popularity of David, as David killed the heavily favored Goliath, and Shmuel’s prophecy which said that it was David who will reign after Shaul.
We learn in the Navi that Shaul was jealous of David and wanted to kill him. Interestingly, both David and Shaul were hailed righteous and have their sacred place in heaven.  Hence the reader has to realize the difficult situation the two are in for, as there is no good guy or bad guy in this historic chain of events.  Saul knows this prophecy to be already in motion, given that he has already experienced a loss of the special divine connection granted by God to leaders of the Jewish people. Even so…..
“…Saul sought to smite David even to the wall with a spear; but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, and he smote the spear into the wall; and David fled, and escaped that night. And Saul sent messengers unto David’s house, to watch him and to slay him in the morning; and Michal David’s wife told him, saying: ‘If thou save not thy life tonight, to-morrow thou shalt be slain.’ So Michal let David down through the window; and he went, and fled, and escaped. And Michal took the teraphim, and laid it on the bed, and put a quilt of goats’ hair at the head thereof, and covered it with a cloth. And when Saul sent messengers to take David, she said: ‘He is sick’. And Saul sent the messengers to see David, saying: ‘Bring him up to me in the bed, that I may slay him.’ And when the messengers came in, behold, the teraphim was in the bed, with the quilt of goats’ hair at the head thereof. And Saul said unto Michal: ‘Why hast thou deceived me thus, and let mine enemy go, that he is escaped?’ And Michal answered Saul: ‘He said unto me: Let me go; why should I kill thee?'” (I Samuel, 19: 10 – 17)
 The above passage relates one incident in the ongoing conflict between David and Saul. In this instance Michal (who is both David’s wife and Saul’s daughter) is directly involved in the sequence of events. She finds herself in the middle of the struggle between the two men and is forced to choose between two family members whom she loves and admires and who are important pillars of the Jewish nation. Because of her equally deep connection to Saul and David, Michal will most likely cause great pain to whomever she does not ultimately assist.
Michal’s decision is a difficult one, but her responsibilities under the circumstances in which she finds herself are outlined by Jewish law. The Torah obligates a married woman to act first and foremost in support of her husband, if he is in need. As the text relates, Michal does so by helping David to escape from their home, and then creating a “stand-in” so to speak for her husband, by disguising a life size statue with a wig of goat’s hair and placing it in bed under the covers. She next tells Saul’s men who have come for David that her husband is sick and cannot be extradited to the palace. This ruse buys time enough for David to escape to safety.
Michal’s obligation to her father, Saul, runs diametrically opposite her responsibilities to David. Specifically, the Torah prohibits a child from causing pain to a parent – and Michal knows her father will suffer, once he finds out she has orchestrated David’s escape. Thus, under the inordinate pressure of a life or death situation, Michal must quickly make her decision and act. She does so, with great loyalty to Torah, by saving David, as Torah dictates she must. And having acted within the parameters of Jewish law, Michal might have stopped at this point and found consolation for her own distress as well as for the inevitable pain of her father. She might have admitted to herself that – like many difficult decisions in life – this one involved human suffering.
While others in her position may have chosen this route to resolution, Michal pushes onward, and this is where she distinguishes herself as a great Jewish heroine. She insists upon re-evaluating the situation and in doing so, she comes up with a plan to spare her father any pain, by relating to her father a second version of what has transpired with David. When Saul realizes that Michal has enabled David’s departure, he asks her, “Why hast thou deceived me thus, and let mine enemy go, that he is escaped?” The answer Michal contrives – “He said unto me: Let me go; why should I kill thee?” – implies for Saul’s benefit that David did not want to harm his wife in order to prevent her from informing Saul of his escape. In addition, her response conveys the message that, even when his own life is in danger, David is careful not to inflict harm on another. Michal suggests to her father that, for the sake of their marriage and because of his true love for his wife, David had virtually begged Michal to assist him and to gain for him the extra time necessary for his escape to safety.
Michal suggests to her father – hoping he will conclude on his own – that David is a person of high caliber, who has a high regard for the life of each and every individual, who cherishes his marriage, and whose character Saul might well reassess. From this point of view, Saul may reconsider his own decision to kill David. Seeing how David cares so deeply for the life of others, Saul may ultimately conclude that David wants neither to harm him nor rebel against him. Michal’s subtle appeal to Saul takes place on an emotional level, as a daughter’s request that her father reconsider his opinion of the husband she so loves and esteems.
Michal’s plan works. For the moment she convinces Saul to cease his pursuit of David.
There is an amazing story pertaining to the great Rabbi Chaim Berlin. He would often read the Shir Hasirim to the congregation on Shavuot, as per the Ashkenazi custom, and would get choked up when reading the passage “Your eyes are beautiful like a dove”.  The Sages suggest that King Shlomo was referring G-d talking his children, bnei Yisrael.  When asked, why he would react that way, he respond that as a mohel he was once approached, discreetly, by someone who wanted him to perform circumcision on his son. However the father emphasized “there will not be a minyan (quorum of ten men) present” for he did not want anyone to discover that he was Jewish.  The Rabbi complied and the circumcision was performed with only the Mohel the father and a close friend present.
Sometime later, the Rabbi reached out to the father and asked “I don’t understand. It seems like you’re completely removed from Judaism where you don’t even resemble in any way, being a Jew, why would you care then if your son is circumcised?
The father answered, “I made my choice not to practice Judaism however if my son ever decides to pursuit the idea of being Jewish I don’t want the brit Milah to be an obstacle, to stand in his way, if he wants to return.”
Rabbi Chaim Berlin would cry when reading this particular passage, for a dove never strays too far from the nest for he knows that no matter what, he’ll always return. The same thing applies to us Jews. Even though we stray a bit far in our hearts we always know we can return. That is loyalty!
Michal offers today’s couple an example of exemplary conduct, even under duress. Given that we spend a great deal of time under the duress of day to day life in our fast paced world, Michal remains a role model who performed loyalty to her husband, a trait that G-d seeks in all of us.

A final story. When Rabbi Pinchas Sheinberg’s wife was very ill laying in a coma at the hospital, the old and frail Rabbi would make it his business to visit her every day. One of the nurses asked the Rav Sheinberg, “Rabbi why do you come here every day? She doesn’t see you”. He replied “I’m not here so my wife to see me; I’m here to see my wife”..

Secret power of a Talit at a traditional Jewish wedding

February 16, 2015 Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Yissachar Frand, Yitzchak Aminov, Yossi Bilus

 
The flowers, the color table cloth, the hall, the caterer, the orchestra, the ring, I most likely missed some, my wife is better at coordinating weddings, are all necessary in preparing for today’s traditional Jewish wedding. Interestingly at my wedding, my florist gave me great advice in order to save money, since our wedding was separate seating, men and women, in accordance with modesty laws. He said “only put flowers on the women’s side since the men wouldn’t notice one way or the other. They’re more concerned about the food than the color table cloth, etc.” He was right.  No one from the men’s section asked about the flowers.  I actually took the initiative and asked some of the guys “what color were the flowers at your table? Many didn’t know; one said he thinks blue color flowers.  The old saying goes “men are from Mars and women are from Venus”.
 Many of the elements that are recited, conducted, served and sung at one of the most emotional charged celebrated Jewish event have deep meaning to them. For example, our brothers – the Ashkenazim – have a custom that I always found to be fascinating and I feel is one of the most fundamental concepts of life. At the chupah, the Kalah circles around the Chattan seven times.   This resembles the seven days that the world was built, so will the home the new couple build be blessed by G-d. Perhaps what I am also reminded by ushering the new home builders in the revolving door of life. I remember attending a funeral in the morning only to celebrate a wedding that very night. One begins to build while the other lets go, that is the circle of life!!
Furthermore, Kabbalists explain it that there are seven walls of evil that surround a person before marriage that falls when the Kallah circles the Chatan.
 Before the sheva brachot are recited, according to  Sepharadic and Yekkeshe [German Jewry]  tradition, the Chattan makes a  bracha of shecheyanu (blessing on something new), on his new Tallit. He then raps it around himself and spreads it over, with a little help from his friends, the bride. In essence, it looks like they are under a tent.
 What does the Tallit have to do with getting married and why cover it over the bride? Well, this tradition and the source stems from this week’s parsha.
 We are taught with regard to the restrained  Hebrew servant (eved ivri) that if “b’gapo yavo” then “b’gapo yeitzei” [Shmot 21:3]. What does this ambiguous term mean?
Rashi translates — based on Onkelos’ rendition — if he comes in by himself (i.e. – unmarried) then he will leave by himself. This interpretation fits in smoothly with the continuation of the pasuk [verse] “if he is married (im baal isha hu), his wife goes out with him.”
In modern Hebrew, we would use the term “ravak” [bachelor] for a single man and “nasui” for married person. The term “b’gapo” is very peculiar. It does not even appear in Mishnaic Hebrew. How does the word “b’gapo” indicate a person is single? The most common explanation is that it comes from the word “b’gufo” – meaning “with his body” (and with no one else). Rashi, however, cites another derivation for this word. Rashi equates “b’gapo” with “b’knafo”, meaning with his garment (i.e. – the shirt on his back).
According to Rashi, the metaphor for being single is one’s garment. The pasuk is saying: If you come in with (only) your coat, you leave with only your coat. What is the connection between a person’s garment and being single? The answer is that we define a person who is single as being one whose world ends at the end of this garment. He is a self-contained unit. His world ends where he ends.
If the definition of a single person is one whose world ends where his coat ends, then carrying the metaphor one step further, a married person is one whose coat extends over other people as well. A married person’s world extends to all others who have to come under his protection.
 With this idea, we can understand the Tallit’s role at a wedding. The groom puts on a Tallit and spreads it over himself and his bride. This ritual acts out the very implication of our metaphor. Under the Chuppah, at the moment of his marriage, the Chattan demonstrates that his world has now been extended by spreading his garment over someone else in addition to himself. My coat now has to cover someone else.
The Biblical source for this custom is the Book of Ruth. Ruth tells Boaz, in suggesting that he marry her, “And you shall spread your garment over your maid-servant” [Ruth 3:9]. In other words, “take me into your world.” Let your world no longer be the world of a single man that ends where your coat ends, let it be an extended world that includes someone else as well.
 It seems like a garment has a very important role in life and one cannot disregard its role. David in his quest to be King of Israel cut King Shaul’s coat while he was sleeping to show that he can easily infiltrate the inner privacy of his chambers.  One would have taken David’s act of “cut clothing” as showing his strength to Shaul as just that. However, David erred tremendously and was punished that his last days of his life, he would suffer by not being able to stay warm. No clothing would make him feel comfortable and warm. Midah k’neged midah – Measure for measure!
Why was David punished so severely for cutting King Shaul’s cloth? And why by covering the bride does the groom demonstrate that his world has been extended?
WHAT IS OUR MISSION AS JEWS?
It’s our mission as Jews, who are the ambassadors of Almighty, the chosen people, whom we represent to emulate G-d. Yes, basically we’re copy cats.  We keep Shabbat because we read in the Torah that he rests on the seventh day. We put on Tefilin because we learn that He, metaphorically, puts on Tefilin. We take upon ourselves to do kindness because G-d does kindness with us. This is the primary directive, in this beautiful world. We pursuit this goal by acknowledging the very essence of what the word “world” means. The Ohr Gedalyahu points out that the word “olam”, world, has the same root as ‘he’elem’, which means hidden. The world is defined as the place where G-d’s presence is hidden. G-d reveals himself in a minimal way. He makes space for us to have our own world. He hides His light from us, so that we can make our own choices. But He remains immanently present within that hiddenness. In a way, He is yet more present in His absence than in His presence.  It’s our job to discover Him; however, that task is accomplished best by also being hidden. Although it’s impossible to be totally incognito, we have to accomplish without being too noticed.
 Walking the streets of Boro Park when we first got married, I commented to her of a few of the run down looking houses on the local streets. She laughed as I pointed to one particular one. She said, “Although it looks run down from the outside, however, the interior contains marble floors, a modern kitchen and a state of the art elevator”. She said, “It looks decrepit from the outside by design. They don’t want to be noticed”.
 The bracha of life is hidden, it’s covered. Strange – how nature works. The roots which are the most critical of plant life are formulated underground. A baby is conceived in the confines of privacy of the bedroom in the dark under the covers. We are obligated to cover some of major parts of life; married women cover their hair; the challah on Shabbat is covered; the ANANAI HACOVOD – the Cloud of glory covered the nation; we cover our heads with a kipah.
 David, by cutting his garment, breached the respect both of the King of Israel and Shaul –  personal virtue  for he was known to be careful with modesty laws. The apparent violation to clothing, a tool for Tzniut-modesty, a protection not to reveal, something G-d cherishes very much, cost David a great deal later on in life.  David, indeed, compromised the essence of the King; it wasn’t just the King of Israel but also the KING of the heavens. Therefore, he was punished with one of the benefits clothing has to offer, “Keeping warm”. No matter how many layers of clothing and blankets that was placed on David at the end of his life he could not stay warm.
 In a few weeks we will read Migilat Esther. Perhaps, it’s not a coincidence that Esther which means “hidden” is the descendant of King Shaul.
   The Chattan symbolizes, by placing the Tallit on the Kallah-bride, that we are now blessed. We are extending the bracha beyond the single status and are ready to start a family. Here the bracha starts from being covered-hidden by the Tallit which symbols the mitzvoth-commandments of the Torah.           
 May G-d grant us the perception to recognize that it is His presence, His light that permeates all that surround us in this olam. May this light enable us to see and realize all that we can accomplish.
 An accomplishment successfully done purely, discreetly but at the same time pronouncing and spreading His name.

 

Your Actions May Come Back to Haunt You

August 1, 2013 Responsibility No comments
   

           Don’t we all hate when we hear “I told you so.” It seems like before we take action, we have to think twice, for the same stick we kick tends to boomerang back and hit us in the head.

 

There is a very interesting and famous story that happened to one of the greatest kings of Israel, Shaul. The Gemara describes Shaul as a tragic figure. This was a person who didn’t want the kingdom because of his modesty. One may question his decisions during his reign; however, who are we to judge? We have to ask ourselves would anybody else have been able to handle the events and the curve balls differently.

We read in this week’s Parsha, one must exile the Ca’anites, the inhabitants of the land of Israel because they would make bad neighbors. This message is repeated constantly in the previous parshiot. The Canaanim were steeped in many heathen practices in which the Jews were commanded to destroy and to stay away. One of their practices involved Necromancy – bringing up a dead person through evil powers, whose voice seems to emulate from the necromancer’s armpits or other parts of the body. Although authentic, however, it was done through the negative forces.
King Shaul removed all Ov and Yidoni – magicians – from the land, since the Torah forbids one to consult them. In the third year of his reign, a very large army of Pelishtim gathered against the Jews. Shaul was very unsure how to proceed. Had his teacher, the Prophet, Shmuel, been alive, he would have almost certainly seeked his advice. Unable to consult the Kohanim who would have used the urim vatumim (the letters of the high priest’s breastplate that conveyed divine answers), Shaul was ashamed of having exterminated Nov, a city of Kohanim, who sheltered his nemesis, David and his army. Therefore he had to resort to other measures. “Do you know whether any medium remains in the land who can conjure up the dead with the rite of Ov?” he asked. Apparently, Shaul was desperate. He resembled a king who ordered all cocks and hens in his kingdom slaughtered and later demands, “Is there a rooster to wake me up in the morning?” Nevertheless, they revealed that such a woman exists in a place called Ain Dor. In disguise, Shaul went to her and asked her to conjure up a spirit for him; she refused. She was afraid such a deed might be reported to the king. However, Shaul assured her everything will be okay and persuaded her to do as he says. “Bring me Shmuel, the master of the prophets.” The woman practiced the usual rights. She burned incense and pronounced certain incantations and WALLA – Shmuel the Prophet appeared! However, something unusual about the apparition caused her to scream. A spirit that was raised by an Ov – sorcerer with the power of evil – would appear upside down, since the nature of its return contradicts the way of G-d’s holy creation. For a king, though, the dead would appear standing on his feet. Therefore, Shmuel appeared in his proper position in honor of Shaul. She then realized who her client was. Shaul was unable to see the apparition, although he heard its voice, it was visible to the Ov – sorcerer – alone.
Shmuel now spoke to Shaul and revealed the future to him. Although he seemed agitated as to why he roused him, where Shaul apologized. Shmuel prophesized “G-d has departed from you. The time will come when He is fulfilling his word to tear down the kingdom from you and to give it to David. He is punishing you for disobeying His commandment to eradicate Amalek.” Shmuel continues, “G-d will deliver the Jewish army into the hands of the Pelishtim and you and your sons will die. However, you’re going into battle despite the knowledge you will fall, will atone for you having destroyed Nov. You will enter a compartment of Gan Eden.”
Seized with fear of this revelation. Shaul regained his composure a bit later and told no one of the prophecy. It takes courage to go to war knowing, very well, that one will soon die.
Shmuel’s Prophecy was fulfilled; the Jews were defeated and Shaul and his three sons perished in battle.