Tag Archive for Ten Commandments

Do not covet your neighbor’s house, wife, car and state of the art barbecue grill

February 5, 2015 Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Pinchas Winston,  Yossi Bilus, Yissachar Frand, Noach Isaac Oelbaum     and Dr. Abba Goldman

The tenth of the Asserret HaDibrot [“Ten Commandments”] is Lo Tachmod: “Do not covet your neighbor’s house; do not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his slave, his donkey, his ox, or anything that belongs to your neighbor” [Shmot 20:13]. A person is not allowed to be jealous of his friend’s possessions.

There are three categories of expression — thought, speech and deed. In Jewish tradition, controlling one’s actions is the simplest level of self-control and observance. Speech is a little harder. Thought, such an internal, personal level of expression, is the hardest of all.

How is it possible to control one’s desires? It’s even more mindboggling that one would be violating the Torah if he is jealous of his friend’s purchase of a brand new car. Does that translate to us receiving severe punishment for the feeling? After all it’s a Torah violation and those are strict!! How can the Torah legislate against a person’s desires? It is very natural for a person driving a jalopy to be jealous of a person who has a new car and does not have to worry about leaking oil and whether the car will start each time he turns the key in the ignition.

If this is readily understandable in terms of our neighbor’s car, it is certainly understandable in terms of more meaningful things in life. We see other’s children more obedient, successful and perhaps accepting Jewish values more readily. Our perception is that our neighbors are living in bliss, happily married, while we look at our marriage as difficult. We see our neighbor’s families, we see their position, etc. How does the Torah command a person not to be jealous?

Granted, we learned in Torah 101 (beginner’s class) that desiring what others have is wrong. Everyone is tailor-made for his lot in life. G-d gives each one of us what we need materialistically and whom – wife, children, etc. (or lack of) – to make us better people. However that feeling, of desiring what our neighbor’s have, although diminished because of our Torah knowledge, is still apparent. What is the antidote so that we don’t desire other’s possessions, spouses etc.?

To be eighteen again is a wonderful thought. You have that youthful strength and energy but are now considered an adult though, by and large, you’re still supported by your fairly young parents. As a matter of fact, I’ve asked many men “What was the best years of your life?” and most guys of middle age, pointed to when they were young adults, before marriage years. Not that marriage is bad but it adds a huge responsibility of making a living – one might even label it the curse of Adam-ZE’AT APEHA-sweat of your brow.

A group of young adults were enjoying a cold wintery Sunday afternoon at Central Park when one of the young men spotted an attractive girl on the other side of the frozen lake. Being that age, when feelings for girls are at full bloom and difficult to control, the young man expressed his desire to put on his skates, which he had in his dufflebag so he could skate across the lake to meet that girl. Very often at that age one takes risks to satisfy one’s new found desires and tend to leap into situations, negating the danger involved, and so that’s exactly what he did.

As the young man was zooming half way across the lake, anticipating his conquest, he noticed a hole in the ice which he couldn’t manage to avoid and fell into the icy water. He immediately scraped at the ice with all his might; his life hanging in the balance.

From this parable we see the antidote for desire. As the young man anticipates his unfortunate doom, does he still have the desire for the girl across the lake? Fear has instantly grabbed this boy’s emotions. With the element of fear the young man sees, however briefly, the situation a bit more different and perhaps a bit more clearer. Gone is the desire; regret has set in. As a matter of fact, the word for fear in Hebrew is the same as the word for seeing – yireh. One sees with clarity; his perceptions are magnified when in fear. Perhaps, for this reason it is written in the Torah:
Now, Israel, what does G-d, your G-d, ask of you? Only to fear G-d, your G-d … (Devarim 10:12) These words are a central part of Moshe, our leader’s farewell address to the Jewish people on the last day of his life

The Talmud reiterates this point:

All is in the hands of Heaven except fear of Heaven, as it says, “Now, Israel, what does G-d, your G-d, ask of you? Only to fear ….” (Devarim 10:12) … Rebi Chanina said in the name of Rebi Shimon bar Yochai: The Holy One, Blessed is He, only has fear of G-d in His storehouse, as it says, “Fear of G-d is His storehouse” (Yeshayahu 33:6). (Brochot 33b)
Why is fear so important? Is it possible to manufacture fear? Ba’al Peor, one of the leading idols that people worshiped in Biblical times because of its rebellious streak against natural society (one would defecate on the idol), actually originated as a fear religion. When one is in tremendous fear what very frequently happens is loss of control of one’s bowel. This is how they worshiped their idol; by emotionally manufacturing the fear element.
Does one create that feeling when his neighbor’s child gives birth to a baby boy and he’s jealous? That’s insane!!
In order to understand how fear works let us examine a key element how we became a nation.

There were two people who led the Jewish midwives in going against Pharaoh’s orders of murdering the Jewish babies. Yocheved and Miriam possessed many beautiful character traits including, faith in G-d, kindness, an unwavering belief in a better future and courage in the face of adversity. But none of these traits is mentioned in the Torah. Instead the text tells us: “…it was because the midwives feared G-d that He made them houses” (Shemos 1:21) and “…the midwives feared G-d and they did not do as the king of Egypt spoke to them, and they caused the boys to live” (Shemos 1:17).

The “houses” – G-d’s reward to the midwives for their perfect fear of Him -were the dynasties of Priests (Kehunah) and Levites (Leviah) who served in the Temple, as well as Kings (Malchut), including the House of King David, for Yocheved and Miriam, respectively. Why is “fear of G-d” seen as the source of the midwives’ behavior and why is it considered so fundamental to the Jewish greatness they embody?

Our sages tell us that when a person leaves this world, G-d asks him six questions including, “were you honest in business, did you study Torah, did you wait for the Messiah?” If a person is on the level that he can truly respond “yes” to all six questions, he is then asked, “were you G-d-fearing?” If he says “no,” he is told that all six previous answers are worthless without the fear of G-d. This seems somewhat bewildering. Why are six accomplishments insignificant in the face of this one specific failure?

It’s important to add another element in order to truly understand the definition of fear. Let us examine the story of Avimelech, the king of Gerar who kidnapped Sarah, the wife of Avraham, our forefather, for himself after being told by Avraham that she was only his sister.
However, before he could lay a hand on her, G-d spoke to him and revealed her true status, which shook Avimelech up when he realized how close he had come to committing adultery. However, in his defense the Torah writes:

Avimelech had not approached her, so he said, “G-d, will you slay a nation even though it is righteous?” (Bereishis 20:4)
Righteous? How could he have called himself or his nation righteous? Even had Sarah really been Avraham’s sister, did she consent to being taken by Avimelech? Had Avraham agreed to her abduction? As Avraham later told an upset Avimelech, he had lied about Sarah:

“Because I said, `There is but no fear of G-d in this place and they will kill me because of my wife’.” (Bereishis 20:11)
But, how did Avraham know this? What had he seen during his short stay in such a booming metropolis that indicated to him that all that was missing from such an advanced place was yireh Shamayaim-fear of G-d?
This is what Rashi says Avraham asked Avimelech:

When a stranger arrives in a city, do people ask him about what he would like to eat or to drink, or do they ask him about his wife? (Rashi, Bereishis 20:11).
In other words, Avraham reproved Avimelech by saying:

“If your people are going to ask me about anything at all, it should be about my needs. If they ask about my relationship to the woman accompanying me, then it is evident that they are not G-d-fearing people! G-d-fearing people act in a Godly manner, and if they do not, then you know they will do whatever they want to achieve their own goals, including kill me for my wife.”
Thus, according to Rashi, it is fear of G-d that allows one to put the requirements of others before their own personal needs. Hence the verse, regarding Yocheved and Miriam, says:

The midwives feared G-d, and disobeyed the king of Egypt, saving the children. (Shemos 1:17)
This is the underlying reason it explicitly stated that the mid-wives feared G-d!!
However what does the fear of G-d have to do with doing good to others? One of the key elements in fearing G-d is respect for his creation. This is perfectly illustrated by this parable:

When the king’s son is amongst the people everybody will give him the utmost respect because if not, it will be reported to the king. Then they will pay the consequences. He can be the biggest brat and still the people have to treat him in the most delicate way. Everyone is born with a mission in life and has the stamp of the king. The fear of the heavens will keep your relationships in check and your eyes to yourself. Your friends and neighbors are the King’s children. As long as we have fear of the heavens then there will be clarity, a vision untainted by desires.

Hence, what transpires is that if one has fear of G-d he will eventually have respect for his fellow man. There will be no jealousy out of fear. That covers both sides of the 10 commandments. One through five, the first side, is between man and G-d. Six to ten is between Man and his relationship with his fellow man.
For this reason G-d proclaimed “Now, Israel, what does G-d, your G-d, ask of you? Only to fear ….”

Our freedom is very important

January 8, 2015 parshat Shemot No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus,Yissachar Frand, Yaakov Menken  Dr. Abba Goldman.

Freedom is beloved!! Freedom is exhilarating!! Freedom is reassuring!!  Freedom is what this great big country is based on. Freedom is the Democratic philosophy in which Israel is so strategically beloved in Middle East region by the United States. That’s the conman thread between Israel and countries practicing democracy. 
 
 
In today’s world, we are rightfully very preoccupied with obtaining our rights and freedoms. We want to be free to pursue our priorities, live according to our convictions, and pursue what makes us happy. We don’t want anyone limiting us or imposing on us his concept of how we should live. These are our entitlements as human beings, and no one should have the right to take them from us. We have rights. This is the first thing we learn in grade school.
 Unfortunately when our rights as humans are violated it can change how these victims perceive the world and act toward each other. We learn a very important lesson from this week’s parsha. When Moshe wanted to plant the seeds of freedom, the Israelites did not even pay attention to Moshe’s second speech of “I’m taking you out” because of “KOTZER RUACH’ – shortness of spirit. Dr. Abba Goldman – Psychologist at Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim explains their reaction is the result of the effects of slavery. Pharaoh carefully designed a full proof system to reassure them to always be subordinate. Always be afraid and never answer back.  He implanted the roots of a slave mentality. “What is the “slave mentality”?
 
FEAR
One aspect of “slave mentality” is to be afraid of the people on top.
“Does the government fear us? Or do we fear the government? When the people fear the government, tyranny(Arbitrary or unrestrained exercise of power; despotic abuse of authority)
 has found victory. The federal government is our servant, not our master!”
Fearing authority is the direct result of being persecuted by governments. Egypt was the prototype of such authority. Today, any migration from an oppressed government proves those people being fearful of authority as opposed to people who grew up in democracy where people are not afraid to voice their opinion.
 Furthermore, ever wonder why the Jews complained that they had it so good  in Egypt. They were persecuted and harassed and often, annoyingly, they would praise their way of life in that oppressed country. 
 
UN-WARRANTED SECURITY
   Slaves are provided with rations so that they can work. The Egyptians made sure that they had food. What do the Israelites remember? They remember only that they were cared for there and provided for. The fact that they were getting slave rations is for some reason overlooked. But when they find themselves hungry with no means of provision, they are immediately lost. Like a child without his mother, they simply cry. A simple need unfulfilled is a crisis for the slave.
It would seem that the mind of the slave is limited to these narrow horizons of immediate material fulfillment. The slave lives for the moment. He does not have the luxury of planning the future; his role is simply to survive the present. The hallmarks of the slave generation which is leaving Egypt can be felt throughout the next few parshiot. G-d does not lead the Israelites “by way of the Land of the Pelishtim although it was nearer, for G-d said, ‘If they encounter war, the people may have a change of heart and return to Egypt'” (13:17-18). The people still see Egypt as a protective secure environment. They need the security; they need its order and comforting predictability. Egypt is an environment where decisions are made for them, where they know the rules of life. In the outside world, they are lacking in confidence.
They are slaves in other senses too. The Ibn Ezra (14:13) asks: why did the Israelites not fight the Egyptians when they were attacked at the Red Sea? After all, the Israelites numbered six hundred thousand fighting men, a considerable force. He answers:
“The Egyptians were masters to the Israelites. Exodus generation was accustomed from the youngest age to suffer under the yoke of Egyptian oppression. Their spirit was broken. How could they stand up and fight their masters… after all they were inexperienced in the art of war…”
The result of this slave mentality will be certain instability within the national mood of the people. They are fickle. One moment they can be uplifted by the soaring euphoria of the miracle at the Red Sea and the next minute, all has been forgotten; they might as well be back in Egypt. 
When crisis hits, the people panic and all the theological truths disappear as if into thin air.
 Why did G-d decide that the Israelites face the Egyptians head on?
   G-d’s intention was not to save Israel from war and undue fear but precisely the opposite: To drag them into an immediate confrontation with their former masters, and to achieve final, total independence at the Red Sea. The Jews had already been physically liberated from Egypt; now the time had come to free them spiritually and emotionally.
This liberation would come through witnessing the final downfall of the power that had until now made an almost lasting mark upon their souls as the nation before whom all nations trembled. Two hundred and ten years of slavery to a nation so dominant that until now no slave had ever escaped had to leave its mark. Even if the Jews were permitted to leave, they would do so with a great regard for Egypt’s power. They would look up to the Egyptians, not perhaps for their “kind treatment” of their slaves, but for their world-dominance as a military power.
 
BOOM, SPLASH!! Egypt has been defeated. Dead soldiers floating in the sea…
  Now, since the Jews have witnessed G-d’s hand and the Egyptian demise, what’s now? It’s their task, their mission to revolutionize their way of thinking. How do they undo their “slave mentality’?  It’s a tremendous undertaking to change one’s Philosophy of life. This is their test, both as a nation and on a personal level. However, it’s an enormous and difficult task. 
  Regardless of the psychological difficult road of changing one’s way of thinking, they are free!! They have tasted the sweetness of not having a master…… But wait!! 
BUT WAIT!!  ARE WE FREE?!!!  In parshat [Vayera 7:26] 

“And G-d said to Moshe, ‘go to Pharoah, and say to him, “thus says G-d ‘LET MY PEOPLE GO…….and they will serve Me.”     
What are we free to do? To serve G-d!   That’s freedom?
  The commandments of the Torah, with 613 mandatory and prohibited acts, with countless restrictions and sub-restrictions upon behavior, consumption of foods, sexual activity — “you name it, Judaism wants to control it” — is repressive, restrictive, limiting. And this is the vision of Judaism which many of us have.
The Torah itself is uncompromising. Pesach is called “the time of our liberation,” not “the time of exchanging one master for Another”.
 
When the Jews stood at Mount Sinai and Moshe came down with the tablets containing the Ten Commandments. The verse is described in an interesting way “And the tablets were made by G-d, and the writing was G-d’s writing, engraved (Heb. Chorut) on the tablets.” (Exodus 32:16). Our sages (Chapters of the fathers 6:2) comment on this “do not read ‘chorut’ ‘engraved,’ but rather ‘chairut,’ ‘freedom,’ for no one else is free but he who occupies himself in Torah learning.” The words ‘Chorut’ and ‘Chairut’ are spelled the same way with different vocalization. 
Rabbi Yehoshuah ben Levi says in the Chapters of the Fathers 62, “there is no free man like the one who is involved with the study of Torah.”
In the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson wrote that we have rights, such as the famous “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
 
If Liberty is supposed to make it possible for us to be happy, than the Torah’s “freedom” seems to serve the purpose very well. Those who visit an active observant Jewish community do not find a restricted, shackled people, but one where sharing, generosity, and happiness are the order of the day. There was actually a Los Angeles Times survey that discovered that residents of religious communities were significantly more likely to describe themselves as “happy.”  How can this be? What is the vision of “freedom” that the Torah gives us?
 
In the Chapters of the Fathers 428, Rabbi Elazar HaKappar says “jealousy, lust and honor remove a person from the world.” What does this mean? One explanation is that these things color a person’s vision. Instead of dealing with the “real world,” he or she instead sees the world from a distorted perspective. And, of course, this unrealistic perspective limits the person, preventing him or her from doing things which otherwise would be entirely possible and appropriate. The victim is shackled, regardless of his or her self-perception. He’s a slave to society.
In other words, it is very easy to be a slave to our desires, and emotions. How many people in the free world are drowning in debt because they are literally slaves to their desires for material things? How many people are slaves to anger and other emotions, which cause them to act in destructive and regrettable ways? How many people have a gambling, sexual or any addiction? At the end of the day that person, briefly, wakes up and cries “Oh! What did I do?! Another day wasted. It is even possible to be a slave to an ideal that leads a person to ruination. 
Rabbi Oelbaum says that the fundamental importance of the Torah is to enable us to overcome and do the opposite of our nature, to break the one aspect of our personality that we have a tough time overcoming. This is the primary goal of life.
Perhaps this is what G-d intended when approaching the nations and asking, are you ready to accept for real, and therefore you would have to eradicate stealing or murder or whatever weakness one has.
Rav Eliyahu Lopian teaches an important awareness of freedom of choice. This is an important aspect of man. However, one should know the definition of freedom of choice is not that one can do whatever he wants. If that was so, what is man’s superiority over animals? They too can do whatever they want. The definition of freedom of choice is that he’s able to choose himself and go against his nature, against his natural instincts and animals cannot do this.
The Torah, if studied correctly enables us to be free “Cherut”. It enables us to break away from slavery of the natural animal instinct. The Torah prepares us for proper freedom, the way man, not animal, is supposed to be free. 

The Ultimate Task of Parents

September 9, 2013 G-d and Us, Kibud Av/ Honoring Parents No comments
   

One should know and realize by looking at the tablets that half contain man’s relationship with G-d while the other half represents man’s relationship with his fellow man. If one examines it closely however, one will notice “honoring your father and your mother” is placed in the wrong column – on the side that represents man’s relationship with G-d. Clearly, as far as I’m concerned, parents are humans and they belong on the other side of the tablets. Perhaps the designer thought it would look awkward having six and four placed on the Aron Kodseh (place where you keep the Torahs). Five and five look much better and even; it gives more presence to the Synagogue, especially the fancy shmancy ones.

 

We read in Psalms, which was written by King David; (Sefardim read it daily while the Ashkenazim recite it the month before Rosh Hashanah). “My father and mother have left me but I still have you, G-d”. We can deduce from the Psalm that King David relied heavily on G-d. We can also detect David missing his parents. But that’s kind of odd; before he was anointed King, there was a concern that he might have been illegitimate. Yishai, his father, wasn’t sure David was his son. At best, they had a cold relationship. Although one may argue that any doubt about the legitimacy of Yishai being David’s father was put to rest after the Prophet Shmuel anointed David, and a loving father and son relationship developed. However, David was on the run, whether being chased by King Shaul or whatever wars he fought. Furthermore, David’s parents and brothers (except for one) were massacred by the Moabites. So as far as David’s relationship with his father, what’s there that he missed so much that triggered him to make such a statement?

 

Any one of the readers who have had the experience of taking care of elderly parents realized that as long as they were alive, one felt the parent was taking care of them even though the opposite was true. The son or daughter paid all the bills and they would escort them to their medical appointments because they would not be able to go by themselves. In fact, my father once said when a person becomes old he reverts back to being a child. Even so, apparently as soon as they pass on, the children feel abandoned; they have an uneasy feeling of losing that nurturing parent.

 

Belief and trusting G-d requires one to fully rely on Him. How does one develop that ability? This is accomplished by practicing the concept of “leaning on and trusting” through the parents. They are there so we can really on them. They fed and clothed us and took us to school when we were young; they taught us about life. The college tuition was paid and they let us borrow the car. We look up to them until a certain time where then they pass the baton to G-d and we rely on Him fully. It may take twenty years or forty, but it’s inevitable.

 

This is the reason “honoring parents” is on the same side of man/G-d relationship. G-d and parents are part and parcel in bringing out in us the feeling of trust and having being taken care of and that the ultimate and optimal feeling one has to have to G-d.

Shavuot 101

August 27, 2013 Shavuot No comments

 

          BASIC INTRODUCTION:
          The word Shavuot means “weeks.” It marks the completion of the seven-week counting period between Passover and Shavuot .Agriculturally, it commemorates the time when the first fruits were harvested and brought to the Temple, and is known as Hag ha-Bikkurim (the Festival of the First Fruits).
          WHAT IS TORAH:
          The Torah is composed of two parts: the Written Law and the Oral Law. The written Torah contains the Five Books of Moses, the Prophets and the Writings. Together with the Written Torah, Moses was also given the Oral Law, which explains and clarifies the Written Law. It was transmitted orally from generation to generation, and eventually transcribed in the Mishnah, Talmud, Midrash, and the entire corpus of Torah literature that was developed over the millennia.
The word Torah means “instruction” or “guide.” The Torah guides our every step and move through its 613 mitzvahs. The word mitzvah means both “commandment” and “connection.” Through the study of Torah and fulfillment of mitzvahs, we connect ourselves and our environment to G-d. G-d’s purpose in creating the world is that we sanctify all of creation, imbuing it with holiness and spirituality.
On the holiday of Shavuot, the entire Jewish nation heard from G-d the Ten Commandments. The next day Moses went up to Mount Sinai, where he was taught by G-d the rest of the Torah-both the Written and Oral Laws-which he then transmitted to the entire nation.
          CUSTOMS:
          It is customary to eat a dairy meal at least once during Shavu’ot. There are varying opinions as to why this is done. Some say it is a reminder of the promise regarding the land of Israel, a land flowing with “milk and honey.” According to another view, it is because our ancestors had just received the Torah (and the dietary laws therein), and did not have both meat and dairy dishes available.

Parshat Va’etchanan

July 23, 2013 Highlights on the Weekly Parsha No comments
First Portion
*This Parsha reminds me of my great grandfather, and many like him, that when arriving in the land of Israel in the late 1800’s, would kiss the ground and thank G-d for having been privileged to be there. They actually found his and my great-great grandfather’s grave in Har Hazetim recently which was under Arab control. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so with our leader, as we see in the beginning passages. Moshe prays to G-d intensely, to overturn a decree that he shall not enter the Promised land. The Chasam Sofer holds that G-d did indeed listen to Moshe’s prayer. We have a rule under certain circumstances prayer accomplishes half. Moshe prayed, “Let me please pass over and see.” (Devarim 3:25) and the prayers were answered in that G-d told Moshe “see with your eyes, for you will not pass over this Jordan.” G-d answered part of the prayer regarding seeing, but not the part of entering the land. There are many new insights we can derive from these passages; the power of prayer is one. G-d tells Moshe to stop praying for if he prayed a little more, G-d would have to negate on his oath that he will not enter the land. Another crucial point of these passages as the Ibn Ezra relates is that the main purpose here was to endear Eretz Yisrael – the land of Israel – to the Jewish people. If the people would be understanding enough to appreciate the land in the way expressed by Moshe’s prayer, they would surely keep the mitzvot (commandments) in order not to be exiled from their land. One question is asked, if he so desired the benefits of the land why is it not mentioned that he became satisfied from its fruits? He could have ordered out. I guess take out wasn’t as popular then like it is here in New York. From here  we see that there is an added benefit besides the physical. The Shelah mentions that the air of Eretz Yisrael makes one wise. It is there that one receives the crown of Torah. Perhaps, Abarbenal adds, this is why our Parsha begins and ends with the topic of the land of Israel, with the giving of the Torah in the middle.
* “Do not add nor subtract from my commandments.” Many Sages comment how an extremely important commandment this is. It is self-preservation par excellence. Human nature is such that one gravitates and alters things during the course of time. Although it’s inevitable that modern technology has altered our lives, however the Torah is designed to withstand the changes and many of the core laws are performed as our ancestors did thousands of years ago.
Second Portion
* “There you will serve other G-ds.” Once the new generations will be removed from the revelation at Sinai, then they will be more susceptible to stray. Moshe prophesizes that generations to come will try to gain acceptance from the non-Jews at the expense of our tradition. This happened many times through the course of history. Rabbi Beryl Wien, a famous historian, explains when Jews have no respect to their host countries then assimilation is at a bare minimum. However, if Jews look up to their host countries, whether in education, culture, fashion/style, then assimilation rises. The assimilation is at 60% in the US.

Third Portion
* City of refuge, where if one accidentally kills a fellow Jew, which was designed by Moshe in Reuben’s territory, the town of Betsar. Afterwards, Moshe designed the Town of Ramos in the territory of Gad and Golan, Menashe’s territory on the eastern side of the Jordan.

Fourth Portion
* After the Israelites were receptive to Moshe’s criticism, he then repeated the Ten Commandments. One who is open and eager to learn will advance tremendously. So, Moshe thought it’s a perfect opportunity for the nation to hear. It’s important to note, many who were present did not hear the revelation at Sinai. That generation died over the course of forty years.
* One of the differences of this version and the one in the book of Shemot is in the commandment of Shabbat. There it says Zachor – remember the Shabbat. In this version, it says Shamor – be careful of transgressing the Shabbat. There is both a positive and negative commandment regarding the Shabbat. It’s not enough to just sleep and lounge around in pajamas for 24 hours. One has to enjoy the Shabbat with all its rich traditions. The Shabbat table has to be performed with respect and dignified manner; that is zachor – remembering.

Fifth Portion
* Passing the tradition is crucial in Judaism. It’s a big aveira – sin – to break the chain. The parent/child relationship is important and should be handled with a great deal of responsibility. Education in Judaism is key. Let’s say, though, one didn’t have religious parents whom followed the tradition, or for that matter, if one doesn’t have parents at all to learn from. I know a fine person who grew up without a father and yet had the most amazing Shabbat table one could imagine, week after week. This person will have a tremendous reward after he passes on. Those people have an added test in life. So if they keep the tradition of their ancestors once removed, they will reap tremendous rewards.

Sixth Portion
* After the war, they gathered all the older toddler orphans and they wanted to tell which one is Jewish (boys are easy to tell). How are they able to determine if they’re Jewish?  Answer: scream out to them SHEMA YISRAEL, most likely, if they are Jewish, they’ll answer back: “HASHEM ELOKANU, HASHEM ECHAD.” That is the power of the Shema. It’s the first phrase Jewish parents teach their toddlers.

Seventh Portion
* G-d emphasizes separation from the non-Jews and reiterates the seven nations that are currently living in the land would be bad neighbors and should be removed from the country. Israel should be pure and only marry among themselves is repeated. The Jews are now leaving the secluded comfort zone of the desert and will be faced with new challenges in their homeland.

Parshat Yitro

May 10, 2013 Highlights No comments
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 Parshat Yitro

February 9, 2012
16 Shevat, 5772
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In This Issue
Parshat Yitro Highlights
Parshat Yitro – Freedom of Choice
The Ultimate Task of Parents
Important to be in a Safe Environment

Parshat Yitro Highlights
First Portion

* Yitro was Moshe’s father-in-law as well as a former advisor to Pharaoh, who actually advised favorably on the subject of the Israelites. However, his advice was not taken well and he was forced to flee; He also was a high priest in Midyan.

* Many nations have seen and heard the miracles that G-d performed on the Jews in Egypt and at sea. However, Yitro comprehended what G-d has done. He was impressed to the point where it changed him and was ready to convert to Judaism.

* Moshe sends a message for Tziporah his wife to meet at a certain point in the desert. So Yitro arrived with Tziporah and Moshe’s two sons at the scheduled meeting place.

* A meal offering was initiated by Yitro commemorating his circumcision and his introduction to Judaism. We see many years later, the King of Israel, Shaul, warned the Canaanites, who were the descendants of Yitro to leave their residents within Amalek (enemies of the Jews) because war was imminent. The reason for such concern not to harm them stemmed from this meal celebration between Moshe, Aharon, Yitro, and other high-ranking officials. We see the power of a sit down meal celebration, for mitzvah sake, and how positive it can be where it has long lasting effects hundreds of years later.

Second Portion

* Yitro’s experience in pubic office where he had a high ranking position in Pharaoh’s super power government, enabled him to advise Moshe on how to be more proficient in his duties and basically make the system run better.

* There is a question as to why Moshe wasn’t able to derive the advice that Yitro gave from the Torah? We have to understand, although the Torah provides great wisdom; there will be on occasion an individual that can provide sound advice. G-d’s purposely teaching us it’s not the intellectual superiority that’s the main part, nor are we more cultural advanced then the other nations, but the focal point is the spiritual superiority.

Third Portion

* Moshe took the advice of his father-in-law.

* Yitro decided to return to Midyan.

* Why did Yitro decide to return to Midyan? Wouldn’t he feel more comfortable with his new comrades (his fellow circumcised Jews)? (See one of my shmoozim on the email newsletter). One should note, Ruth, the Midyanit convert, decided to go to Israel with her former mother-in-law rather then go back to her former home. It would be most difficult to maintain one’s religious level among people who do not have the same goals as you.

Fourth Portion

* The Israelites arrived at Sinai and Moshe went up to receive the Torah.

* G-d told Moshe to tell the people “If you keep my Torah, then I will hold you in great esteem.”

Fifth Portion

* Moshe came down from the mountain and told all which G-d is demanding of us. The elders, the leaders all answered back “We will do whatever G-d says.”

* Moshe gave instructions on the preparations to receive the Torah.

* The nation gathered at the bottom of the mountain.

Sixth Portion

* G-d’s aura had descended on the Israelites; it’s the closest the Jews have been to the presence of G-d.

* The first two commandments were recited by G-d. However, the people weren’t able to withstand the rays of G-d’s presence; Moshe then recited the last eight.

* The Ten Commandments are divided into five. The first five on the right are commandments between G-d and man; while the second five are commandments between man and his fellow man (see schmooze in this email newsletter).

 

Seventh Portion

* One cannot even imagine what a special moment in history this was. The scripture says they saw the voices.

* Only three Jews did not witness the revelation at Mount Sinai; Yitro and Moshe’s two sons. How can that be – Moshe sons? This was designed by G-d so Moshe can perform what every father and Rabbi is commanded, and that is to pass it down to the next generation. Apparently, almost the whole nation heard The Sinai experience, so there was no passing down for a while. But they observed the best teacher – Moshe taught his sons.

* Three million Jews witnessed the receiving of the Torah; no other religion has witnesses with this magnitude that have seen the revelation of their religion.

Parshat Yitro – Freedom of Choice
   

King David was quoted as praising Yitro, Moshe’s father-in-law, as a very smart man who has a tremendous insight into G-d and was able to fully comprehend the miraculous events that occurred to the Israelites. This was evident by some of the definitions of his seven names, in which Rashi and many commentaries say he was called by. What was it about Yitro, which impressed David and warranted such praise?

It’s only natural in a successful marriage that more and more matrimonial matches spurt up between the two sides; Moshe’s nephew, Elazar, marries one of Yitro’s daughters. But what’s odd when we are introduced and informed of the union, is Rashi’s description of Potiel, the father of the bride, Yitro’s other name; he describes a man “who fattened calves for idolatry” and “from the seed of Yosef who conquered his passion”. Now I understand the compliment of the comparison to Yosef, that’s very nice; however, why bring up “he fattened calves”? It’s very demeaning not just for Yitro but for Elazar as well. One can only imagine the mazal tov section of the weekly Synagogue newsletter stating ‘Mr. and Mrs. Potiel, the ones who fattened calves for idolatry.’ It doesn’t have a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

In this week’s Parsha, our ancestors received the Torah and we read the Ten Commandments. One has to ask, why did G-d emphasize these ten as opposed too many others he could have mentioned? Furthermore, G-d wanted to give it to the other nation as well; but His reply to their question of what’s in it, always played on their weakness. For example, to the Arabs he emphasized ‘do not steal’; to Edom, ‘do not kill’; G-d knew perfectly well that it would be difficult for them.

Rabbi Oelbaum says that the fundamental importance of the Torah is to enable us to overcome and do the opposite of our nature, to break the one aspect of our personality that we have a tough time overcoming. This is the primary goal of life.

Perhaps this is what G-d intended when approaching the nations and asking, are you ready to accept for real, and therefore you would have to eradicate stealing or murder or what ever weakness one has.

Rav Eliyahu Lopian teaches an important awareness of freedom of choice. This is an important aspect of man. However, one should know the definition of freedom of choice is not that one can do whatever he wants. If that was so, what is man’s superiority over animals? They too can do whatever they want. The definition of freedom of choice is that he’s able to choose himself and go against his nature, against his natural instincts and animals cannot do this.

Perhaps this is the greatness of Yitro; his weakness was idol worship to an extent where he couldn’t control himself. However, he was able to persevere and see G-d where many couldn’t. We must bring another definition of Potiel and that is ‘sheniftar me-avoda-zara’, he was able to disassociate, break off from idol worship.

These Ten Commandments were chosen because they are the fundamental building blocks of the Torah, of life. If we strengthen our character traits and not get sucked in like a magnet, we would have done our duty and we would be able to exercise our true freedom of choice.

The Ultimate Task of Parents
   

One should know and realize by looking at the tablets in which the Ten Commandments are placed on (and is found in every synagogue in the world), that one half represents man’s relationship with G-d while the other half represents man’s relationship with his fellow man. If one examines it closely however, one will notice “honoring your father and your mother” is placed in the wrong column – on the side that represents man’s relationship with G-d. Clearly, as far as I’m concerned, parents are humans and they belong on the other side of the tablets. Perhaps the designer thought it would look awkward having six and four placed on the Aron Kodseh (place where you keep the Torahs). Five and five look much better and even; it gives more presence to the Synagogue, especially the fancy shmancy ones.

We read in Psalms, which was written by King David; (Sefardim read it daily while the Ashkenazim recite it the month before Rosh Hashanah). “My father and mother have left me but I still have you, G-d”. We can deduce from the Psalm that King David relied heavily on G-d. We can also detect David missing his parents. But that’s kind of odd; before he was anointed King, there was a concern that he might have been illegitimate. Yishai, his father, wasn’t sure David was his son. At best, they had a cold relationship. Although one may argue that any doubt about the legitimacy of Yishai being David’s father was put to rest after the Prophet Shmuel anointed David, and a loving father and son relationship developed. However, David was on the run, whether being chased by King Shaul or whatever wars he fought. Furthermore, David’s parents and brothers (except for one) were massacred by the Moabites. So as far as David’s relationship with his father, what’s there that he missed so much that triggered him to make such a statement?

Any one of the readers who have had the experience of taking care of elderly parents realized that as long as they were alive, one felt the parent was taking care of them even though the opposite was true. The son or daughter paid all the bills and they would escort them to their medical appointments because they would not be able to go by themselves. In fact, my father once said when a person becomes old he reverts back to being a child. Even so, apparently as soon as they pass on, the children feel abandoned; they have an uneasy feeling of losing that nurturing parent.

Belief and trusting G-d requires one to fully rely on Him. How does one develop that ability? This is accomplished by practicing the concept of “leaning on and trusting” through the parents. They are there so we can really on them. They fed and clothed us and took us to school when we were young; they taught us about life. The college tuition was paid and they let us borrow the car. We look up to them until a certain time where then they pass the baton to G-d and we rely on Him fully. It may take twenty years or forty, but it’s inevitable.

This is the reason “honoring parents” is on the same side of man/G-d relationship. G-d and parents are part and parcel in bringing out in us the feeling of trust and having being taken care of and that the ultimate and optimal feeling one has to have to G-d.

Important to be in a Safe Environment

The sages say that one of Moshe’s grandchildren didn’t turn out up to par like the rest of his family. One may ask, “What went wrong?” After all, Moshe was very close to G-d; a perfect leader. In fact, there is no argument; he was the best leader we ever had. Actually, perhaps one can argue and say we see very often, the children of some of today’s leaders have a hard time with their famous parents.

We learn something astonishing about the relationship between Moshe and his father-in-law, Yitro. Apparently, Yitro made a deal with Moshe that his firstborn would be educated by the Grandfather through idol worship. Yes, you read it correctly, idol worship. But how can that be? Didn’t Yitro convert to Judaism? We also learn that he was a great believer. So that really doesn’t make sense. Furthermore, how can Moshe allow his son to participate?

Yitro was a very smart man who came to the realization that Judaism and the Torah is the real deal. But Yitro came to that conclusion through experimenting with every type of idol worship that exists in the world and at the end, when the smoked cleared, only the Torah remained standing. The greatest spiritual high and the closeness to G-d were attained through this method.

Yitro wanted his grandson to reach the same conclusion as he did and he persuaded Moshe to permit his son to attempt to reach this exclusively high level of closeness to G-d. However, this was very dangerous and it backfired. Although Yitro felt his grandson had a similar personality to his himself, nevertheless, apparently that was not the case. Everybody’s different.

We find that Ruth (the convert) realized that if she would go back to her country, she would regress in her spiritual quest to Judaism, and therefore decided to go travel to Israel with her former mother-in-law.

The sages teach us one can find all the wisdom that other religions offer, in our Torah, and there is no need to venture out.

We often think we are infallible and are able to maintain a level in any place, whether it is at work or moving to a new neighborhood where the level of religion is not so strong. We are human and are vulnerable and are influenced by the society around us. It’s an element of survival to surround oneself with a community, proper schooling, and friends.

There was only one Yitro; his uniqueness was singled out. It would be unsafe – to say the least – to do what he did.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience