Spark of Jewish Experience

CEO of Starbucks Howard Shultz and the Rabbi

April 18, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

The following story was told over at an awards ceremony for Howard Schultz, chairman and chief global strategist of the famed coffee company, Starbucks Corp. Schultz received the Botwinick Prize in Business Ethics from Columbia Business School in 2000, and during his acceptance speech, he related a fascinating insight into how he became a better person.

“When I was in Israel,” Schultz related, “I went to Meah Shearim, the ultra-Orthodox enclave within Jerusalem. Along with a group of businessmen I was with, I had the opportunity to meet with the head of the Mir Yeshiva, Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel. I had never heard of him before and didn’t know anything about him. We were ushered into his study and waited for close to fifteen minutes before the Rabbi came in. What we did not know was that Rabbi Finkel was severely afflicted with Parkinson’s disease. He sat down at the head of the table, and immediately we looked away. We didn’t want to embarrass him. Suddenly, the Rabbi banged on the table and said, ‘Gentlemen, look at me, and look at me right now!’

“His speech affliction was worse than his shaking. It was really hard to listen and look at him at the same time. He said, ‘I have only a few minutes for you because I know you’re all busy American businessmen!’ You know, just a little dig there.

“Then he asked, ‘Can anyone tell me what the lesson of the Holocaust is?’ He called on one guy – it was like being called on in the fifth grade – and not knowing the answer. The guy said something benign like, ‘We will never forget?’ “The Rabbi completely dismissed him. Rabbi Finkel was looking around the table to call on someone else. We were all sort of under the table, looking away, hoping he would not call on any one of us. Personally, I was sweating. He called on another guy, who I thought had such a fantastic answer. ‘We will never, ever again be a victim or bystander.’ “But the Rabbi said, ‘You guys just don’t get it. Okay, let me tell you the essence of the human spirit. As you know, during the Holocaust, the people were transported in the worst most inhumane ways imaginable. The people thought they were going to a work camp but we know they were sent to concentration camps. After hours and days in this horrific corral with no light, no bathroom and extreme cold, they arrived at the camps. The doors were swung wide open, and they were blinded by the light. Men and women were separated, mothers from daughters, fathers from sons. Eventually, they were sent to the barracks. “As they went into the sleeping area, only one person was given a blanket for every six. The person who received the blanket had to decide before going to sleep, ‘Am I going to push the blanket to the five other people who did not get one, or am I going to pull it towards myself to stay warm?’ These are the types of questions they asked themselves. “Rabbi Finkel paused for a moment. Then he said, ‘Gentlemen, it was during this defining moment that we learned the power of the human spirit, because we pushed the blanket to five others. That is the lesson of the Holocaust!’ “With that, he stood up and said, ‘Take your blanket. Take it back to America – and push it to five other people!'”

There is a follow-up to this story. Apparently Mr. Schultz later returned to Israel and visited Rabbi Nosson Tzvi again. This time, he pulled out a blank check, signed it and told Rabbi Finkel to fill it out for whatever he wants. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi asked him, “I can fill out this check for whatever I want?” Mr. Schultz answered in the affirmative. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi picked up his pen and wrote out the check for $1400. Then, he handed the check to Howard Schultz, and told him to take it across the street to the scribe (Sofer), use it to buy a pair of Tefillin, and promise to put it on every day. His Yeshiva was millions of dollars in debt, and Rabbi Nosson Tzvi worked very hard to raise money for the Yeshiva, but he thought about his fellow Jew first

WHAT DOES THE MESSAGE OF PESACH HAVE TO DO WITH MY LIFE TODAY?

April 18, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s, Yonossan Zweig, Berrel Wein, Yossi bilus, Akiva Tatz, Asher Hurzberg, Ilan Feder

Does the message of Pesach have any relevance in today’s day and age?

Why is the Halach Ma’anya written in Aramaic?

When is the best time to say Halach Ma’anya?

How do we answer the question that the four sons ask?

The much anticipated, much glorified, and if you’re a housewife (or for that matter in today’s day and age houseman) somewhat scary holiday is at our threshold. Pesach! Such wonderful childhood memories invoke yours truly of this glorious holiday. I must say my parent did a fine job; the singing, the rituals, the education, the entertainment, the tradition, the food! A package deal is what my parents so artfully delivered to us every Pesach. We didn’t go away like most families. The home always had a very intimate flavor that naturally glorified the holiday so much more than any vacation package in Florida could offer.

Pesach marks the uniqueness of the Jewish people – a people delivered from centuries of bondage through miraculous Heavenly intervention. One of the main functions of Pesach is to connect us to an event that occurred millennia ago in a distant land.

However, if one doesn’t have the fond child memories, the natural inclination of people is to feel disconnected to that event. Even if there were memories, they may be “lukewarm”, so to speak, so how can one muster the stamina to sit through an entire Seder? How much juice is left in the clown outfit that the father wears, the Uncle Moishe type Seders with lots of singing, or as what my son’s past Pre-1A Rebbi who suggested, having little plastic frogs and use small super balls for the plagues to stimulate the interest in the kids? Even the classic traditions like hitting each other with scallions during the recitation of “Dayenu” can grow “stale” over time. There are some who even march around the table carrying a sack of cloths as if they left Egypt. All these props are childish but loads of fun and carry much great memories. Nevertheless, is it enough to keep the interest? Life is such that kids grow up, Teens grow up and need more sophisticated stimulation. They start asking serious question. What do we do then? This is implicit in the questions raised in the section of the Hagadah devoted to the four sons. Their basic question is: “What is the relevance of this long-ago event to me?” And this has remained the basic question in all of Jewish life throughout the ages.z

The enormous number of Jews who are completely disconnected from their faith and their people, from their homeland of Israel and from the values and observances of Torah, testifies to the intensity of the difficulty posed by this question. They say “If the Exodus from Egypt does not speak to me, then the rest of Judaism is pretty immaterial to me as well.”

Perhaps, one can take a look at some cues in the Hagadah where one can seek a valuable lesson and the answer to that age old question of “What’s the relevance!?”

As we begin the Maggid – the telling over of the story of our history section of the Seder, we recite the very peculiar paragraph of Halach Ma’anya. Although it is a unique moment for every individual sitting at the Seder who each actually have their own turn to simultaneously say the proclamation and to physically hold the Matzahs, surprisingly enough, the recitation is not in Hebrew. Why do we recite it in Aramaic? It is a language no one understands!!

Secondly, one of the messages in the short paragraph is that we invite whoever is hungry to come and eat – “kol dichfin yesei v’yeichol”, and whoever requires a place to eat Korban Pesach to come and partake – “kol ditzrich yesei v’yifsach”. So, aside from the language issue, this invitation is not only presented at the wrong time, for Kiddush has already been recited and the meal has already begun, but it’s in the wrong place as well, for it is issued in the privacy of our own homes. If we want to invite people, perhaps we should recite the proclamation out on the street and catch some of the passersby where then we’ll invite them in. Furthermore, to partake in the Korban Pesach one had to be a member of the group from the time the Korban was slaughtered earlier in the day. What purpose do this invitation serve?

WHY LAVAN?

One of the conversations which we discuss at the start is about the individual “Lavan HaArami” the brother and no-goodnik of our sacred matriarch Rivka. Why start with him, out of all people, when we have some of the most colorful characters in history in our past? Purim was just a few weeks ago. Let’s use Haman instead!

The Torah describes Lavan as a “ramai” – trickster.” The entire region was known for this quality; the Hebrew letters of the word “Aram” when rearranged spell the Hebrew word “ramai”. A ramai is not the same as a “ganav” – “thief”. A thief maintains no pretenses that his actions are in the victim’s best interest. A ramai is a confidence man, possessing the ability to deceive the victim into believing that he is gaining from the actions of the ramai. It is only later that the victim realizes that he has been victimized. The ability to perpetrate such a crime requires the ramai to know exactly what the victim is thinking, to see the victim’s perspective. He has to be an expert on human psychology. It’s a sensitivity issue that the ramai has to proficient in. This quality of sensitivity can be utilized in a positive manner. The greatest “chesed” – “acts of kindness” are performed by an individual who is sensitive to the needs of the recipient.

One of our forefather Avraham, the first Jew, greatest achievements is when he hosted the three angels. It was tremendous feat of kindness. It just so happens that the pinnacle of chesed incident, the “hosting the three angels” occurred on Pesach. Interestingly, a year later on the very day of Pesach G-d destroyed the city of S’dom and Amora (Sodom and Gomorra to use the English names for them). These two cities represented the antithesis of chesed.

A Jew essence is built on the philosophy of chesed this was passed down from Avraham. The importance of the virtue of kindness is immeasurable. We find that our Patriarch Avraham made it his number one priority by sending his trusted servant Eliezer to find his beloved son a wife. The prime directive is that she should possess is the quality of chesed.

Incredibly, with the negative environment surrounding her it seemed miraculous that Rivka emerged as quintessence fit for Avraham’s family of chesed and for his heir apparent, his son Yitzchak.

How can that happen? How did Avraham know that a treasure lies among the swamps? The mainstream commentary, Rashi, sites that the Torah in its repetition of where Rivka came from praises her by noting that although she had been brought up in such adverse surroundings, she was not influenced by the actions of the wicked. Generally, Rashi’s comment is understood to mean that in spite of her environment she was able to maintain her righteousness. Analyzing the Midrash we see however that this cannot be the entire meaning of the message, for the Midrash from which Rashi derives his comment cites the verse in King Shlomo’s Shir Hashirim to describe Rivka’s qualities “kashoshana bein hachochim” – “like a rose among the thorns.” If the intent of the Midrash is to point out that Rivka retained her righteousness in the face of adversity, then the thorns would represent the adversity. This analogy is difficult for the rose does not thrive in spite of the thorns, rather because of the thorns that protect it and allow it to thrive. What then is the message of the verse?

Sensitivity is an important trait in elevating ourselves in developing relations with G-d and our fellow man. The greatest “chesed” – “acts of kindness” are performed by an individual who is sensitive to the needs of the recipient. Although Aram was notorious for their trickery, Avraham wanted a wife for Yitzchak who would possess this same sensitivity that a Lavan uses for his trickery, when performing kindness. It was this genetic quality that Avraham wanted to infuse into Klal Yisroel, and it was this quality that Eliezer was looking for when testing Rivka. This is the message of the Midrash; the thorns reflect the quality of the “ramai” by which Rivka was surrounded, but which enabled her to achieve the great levels of chesed of which only she was able. She had the gift of sensitivity as did her brother. However she used it for kindness and good while her brother used it for trickery and evil.

Many of us are proud to host guest on Shabbat and Holidays. We have to understand that a guest or for that matter a family member is very special on Pesach, for the objective is to perform for them a mitzvah of the highest level, which is the section in the Seder called “Maggid”. The Pesach Seder is a celebration of our redemption and we are all guests of honor. To prevent the guests from feeling beholden to the “Baal Habayit” (host) which would hinder, and repress their involvement and participation in the evening, we begin the Seder by allowing the guests to invite others. The Talmud states “ein oreyach machnis oreyach” – “a guest is not permitted to invite other guests.” However, a guest of honor has the right to invite whomever he chooses. The message we are relaying to all the participants is they are not merely guests obligated to the homeowner. Rather, they are all guests of honor, celebrating their own redemption. It is imperative that all the guests feel comfortable, for they have to speak freely and engage in the conversations of the evening to fulfill the mitzvah of “Tzipur Yetzias Mitzrayim” – Maggid. In the same vein, the Tosafot Yom Tov had a custom to spill wine on the clean tablecloth so that the guests would feel at ease. The purpose of the invitation is for the guests already assembled, not for those who are absent.

Rashi explains the term “chesed” as an Aramaic word meaning “shame”. However, in Hebrew “chesed” means “kindness”, a term with positive connotations. When a person does chesed he receives fulfillment from the act, while the recipient feels shame. The Hebrew and Aramaic meanings are therefore not contrary, but, in fact, complementary. The Hebrew translation focuses on the perspective of the giver while the Aramaic translation focuses on the perspective of the recipient. By using the Aramaic word “chesed”, the Torah is teaching us that when we do chesed, we should be SENSITIVE to the recipient’s shame. This way, we will do chesed in a manner which will diminish the recipient’s shame. It is therefore appropriate to begin the Seder in Aramaic for this is the language that symbolizes the sensitivity of seeing the perspective of another.

The prime directive is to make the guest or family member feel as comfortable as possible so he’ll have the inner strength to “ask”. Much of the Seder is designed to sprout those feelings. One of the reasons we drink the four cups of wine is for that very reason. Everyone is born with a certain defense mechanism where he or she has to a certain degree a feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way. We just don’t disclose our deepest and darkest secrets to the world. It’s unbecoming. Wine, though, has the some element within to relieve ones inhibitions. We, depending how much is consumed, let our guard down when we drink wine. This is the optimal scenario at the Seder night for we are not afraid to ask questions; its designed that way. We have to be pro-active in conversation, speaking of course about Jewish or Torah topics. All of a sudden, everyone at the Seder is your friend. Wine brings unity. We just have to be careful not to drink a little too much, not to spill the beans. For this reason we are forbidden to drink with non-Jews. We have to realize our place and our commitment to G-d.

Aside from the sensitivity required of the host to give the participants the feeling that they are guests of honor, the very nature of Tzipur Yetzias Mitzrayim – the telling of the story requires seeing the perspective of another. The mitzvah must be performed “derech she’eilah uteshuvah” – “by question and answer”, i.e. the Socratic Method. The only way for such an approach to be effective is if the listener is sensitive to the questions being posed. Very often a person’s only interest is to make heard what he is thinking, and he does not address the question at all. The most important Jewish literary work after the Torah is the Talmud. The Talmud is also presented in the Socratic Method, question and answer. It is therefore most appropriate that the Talmud is written in Aramaic and in the region of Aram for this is the language and region that lends itself to seeing the perspective of others, crucial when attempting to respond to the queries and difficulties which are the basis of the Talmud. In other words, the Seder is all about questions. This is represented by the Four Sons.

So, what do we answer the Four Sons?

Incredibly the Hagadah is out of character answering the Rasha, Wicked Son. It is very negative to him. What happened to super-duper outreach? The Rasha is treated that way because he is negative. He asks a question but he doesn’t seem to seek an answer. Therefore his question is not a question, it’s a statement. Seemingly, he doesn’t want to listen. Even more so, the Rasha is making fun of it all. The Torah does not want have anything to do with scoffers and distractors. However the other sons are sincere about seeking an answer and should be approached differently.

Our fun ancient traditions, such as the scallions at the recitation of “Dayenu”, the sack on the shoulder, as well as our creative razzle dazzle new props of today, plastic frogs and so forth are right on the money in answering the question. Granted the Hagadah has the answers describing our illustrious past and describing some of our ancestor’s pain and triumph, however, frankly I’ve been in this business many years and pardon me if I’m a little bold when I say there are more Jews returning to Judaism after spending a Shabbat meal and experiencing the warmth of a family then an intellectual debate whether G-d exist.

We are human and not perfect. You, the host, may not have all the all answers to the questions but it’s irrelevant for the true answer lies with the kindness, warmth and sensitivity. That’s the answer they want to hear. Then they will hear the Exodus, the Matzah speak to them with all the traditions and all its glory.

Judaism and Loyalty

April 18, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s, Yissachar Frand, Yossi bilus, Asher Hurzberg and Mrs. Leah Kohn

L o y a l t y

We’re loyal to our jobs; we’re loyal to our country; we’re loyal to our spouse; we’re even loyal to our sports teams (Go, Mets)!! Loyalty is something we do. There are even loyalty programs that reward buyers for sticking with company brands. Perhaps we should even start a loyalty program with our “Cup of Coffee” newsletter. This notion of loyalty programs proposed by major US companies has steadily grown in popularity. Between 2008 and 2012, U.S. loyalty memberships increased by 10 percent per year – reaching on average over 23 memberships per household.

However, a McKinsey study showed that those that spend more on loyalty, or have more visible loyalty programs, grow at about the same rate – or slightly slower – than those that do not. Oops! Never mind about that proposal for our “Coffee”. Despite relative underperformance in terms of revenue growth and profitability, over the past five years, market capitalization for companies that greatly emphasize loyalty programs has outpaced that of companies that don’t. In other words, companies are still hoping and yearning that they will be rewarded with customer loyalty in due time. Nevertheless consumers, for the most part, are not loyal. Perhaps, human nature is such that, people want to believe that loyalty is important to all and therefore companies are banking on that premise.

The beginning of Parshas Tazria deals with the laws of purity and impurity associated with childbirth. At the end of the 40 day period of impurity and purity following the birth of a male, or at the end of the 80 day period of impurity and purity following the birth of a female, the mother is required to bring “a sheep within its first year for an olah-offering and a young dove or a turtle dove for a sin-offering” to complete her purification process [Vayikra 12:6].

WHY SPECIFICALLY THE YOUNG DOVE OR TURTLE DOVE?

Even though there are many kinds of kosher birds, the only kinds of birds that may be brought as sacrifices on the Altar are the young dove [ben-yonah] and the turtle dove [tor].

The Ramban writes that the Torah singled out torim as an appropriate species for karbanot-sacrifices, precisely because of their loyalty to each other. The tor [turtle dove] has a unique quality in the fact that it mates for life. If its partner is taken away from it or killed, it will not seek out another mate, but will seemingly mourn – as it were – for the first mate for the rest of its life. This unique quality makes them the optimum choice for spiritual elevation sought by the one bringing a bird sacrifice. The Ramban adds that even though bnei-yonah do not share this quality, they have an alternate characteristic which makes them appropriate. The young dove (the only kind of “ben yonah” which may be brought) has the trait that they always return to their nest. Most birds will never return to their nest once a human being touches it. The bnei yonah are an exception. They have such loyalty to their nests that they will return despite the fact that human hands may have tampered with the nest. The Ramban writes “So too Israel will not switch from loyalty to their Creator and His Torah forever.” Therefore, according to the Ramban, torim and bnei Yonah are the bird species used in the Bait HaMikdash because they share the quality of loyalty with the Jewish people

Of course, how is it possible to talk about loyalty and not discuss the most sacred union built on loyalty, namely the one between husband and wife?

Our beloved and popular king, whom we often associate with royalty, David had a wife who was the daughter of the previous king, Shaul. When David beat Goliath he was rewarded, as promised, the king’s daughter Michal. Now, Shaul was under much pressure from having to deal with the popularity of David, as David killed the heavily favored Goliath, and Shmuel’s prophecy which said that it was David who will reign after Shaul.

We learn in the Navi that Shaul was jealous of David and wanted to kill him. Interestingly, both David and Shaul were hailed righteous and have their sacred place in heaven. Hence the reader has to realize the difficult situation the two are in for, as there is no good guy or bad guy in this historic chain of events. Saul knows this prophecy to be already in motion, given that he has already experienced a loss of the special divine connection granted by God to leaders of the Jewish people. Even so…..

“…Saul sought to smite David even to the wall with a spear; but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, and he smote the spear into the wall; and David fled, and escaped that night. And Saul sent messengers unto David’s house, to watch him and to slay him in the morning; and Michal David’s wife told him, saying: ‘If thou save not thy life tonight, to-morrow thou shalt be slain.’ So Michal let David down through the window; and he went, and fled, and escaped. And Michal took the teraphim, and laid it on the bed, and put a quilt of goats’ hair at the head thereof, and covered it with a cloth. And when Saul sent messengers to take David, she said: ‘He is sick’. And Saul sent the messengers to see David, saying: ‘Bring him up to me in the bed, that I may slay him.’ And when the messengers came in, behold, the teraphim was in the bed, with the quilt of goats’ hair at the head thereof. And Saul said unto Michal: ‘Why hast thou deceived me thus, and let mine enemy go, that he is escaped?’ And Michal answered Saul: ‘He said unto me: Let me go; why should I kill thee?'” (I Samuel, 19: 10 – 17)

The above passage relates one incident in the ongoing conflict between David and Saul. In this instance Michal (who is both David’s wife and Saul’s daughter) is directly involved in the sequence of events. She finds herself in the middle of the struggle between the two men and is forced to choose between two family members whom she loves and admires and who are important pillars of the Jewish nation. Because of her equally deep connection to Saul and David, Michal will most likely cause great pain to whomever she does not ultimately assist.

Michal’s decision is a difficult one, but her responsibilities under the circumstances in which she finds herself are outlined by Jewish law. The Torah obligates a married woman to act first and foremost in support of her husband, if he is in need. As the text relates, Michal does so by helping David to escape from their home, and then creating a “stand-in” so to speak for her husband, by disguising a life size statue with a wig of goat’s hair and placing it in bed under the covers. She next tells Saul’s men who have come for David that her husband is sick and cannot be extradited to the palace. This ruse buys time enough for David to escape to safety.

Michal’s obligation to her father, Saul, runs diametrically opposite her responsibilities to David. Specifically, the Torah prohibits a child from causing pain to a parent – and Michal knows her father will suffer, once he finds out she has orchestrated David’s escape. Thus, under the inordinate pressure of a life or death situation, Michal must quickly make her decision and act. She does so, with great loyalty to Torah, by saving David, as Torah dictates she must. And having acted within the parameters of Jewish law, Michal might have stopped at this point and found consolation for her own distress as well as for the inevitable pain of her father. She might have admitted to herself that – like many difficult decisions in life – this one involved human suffering.

While others in her position may have chosen this route to resolution, Michal pushes onward, and this is where she distinguishes herself as a great Jewish heroine. She insists upon re-evaluating the situation and in doing so, she comes up with a plan to spare her father any pain, by relating to her father a second version of what has transpired with David. When Saul realizes that Michal has enabled David’s departure, he asks her, “Why hast thou deceived me thus, and let mine enemy go, that he is escaped?” The answer Michal contrives – “He said unto me: Let me go; why should I kill thee?” – implies for Saul’s benefit that David did not want to harm his wife in order to prevent her from informing Saul of his escape. In addition, her response conveys the message that, even when his own life is in danger, David is careful not to inflict harm on another. Michal suggests to her father that, for the sake of their marriage and because of his true love for his wife, David had virtually begged Michal to assist him and to gain for him the extra time necessary for his escape to safety.

Michal suggests to her father – hoping he will conclude on his own – that David is a person of high caliber, who has a high regard for the life of each and every individual, who cherishes his marriage, and whose character Saul might well reassess. From this point of view, Saul may reconsider his own decision to kill David. Seeing how David cares so deeply for the life of others, Saul may ultimately conclude that David wants neither to harm him nor rebel against him. Michal’s subtle appeal to Saul takes place on an emotional level, as a daughter’s request that her father reconsider his opinion of the husband she so loves and esteems.

Michal’s plan works. For the moment she convinces Saul to cease his pursuit of David.

There is an amazing story pertaining to the great Rabbi Chaim Berlin. He would often read the Shir Hasirim to the congregation on Shavuot, as per the Ashkenazi custom, and would get choked up when reading the passage “Your eyes are beautiful like a dove”. The Sages suggest that King Shlomo was referring G-d talking his children, bnei Yisrael. When asked, why he would react that way, he respond that as a mohel he was once approached, discreetly, by someone who wanted him to perform circumcision on his son. However the father emphasized “there will not be a minyan (quorum of ten men) present” for he did not want anyone to discover that he was Jewish. The Rabbi complied and the circumcision was performed with only the Mohel the father and a close friend present.

Sometime later, the Rabbi reached out to the father and asked “I don’t understand. It seems like you’re completely removed from Judaism where you don’t even resemble in any way, being a Jew, why would you care then if your son is circumcised?

The father answered, “I made my choice not to practice Judaism however if my son ever decides to pursuit the idea of being Jewish I don’t want the brit Milah to be an obstacle, to stand in his way, if he wants to return.”

Rabbi Chaim Berlin would cry when reading this particular passage, for a dove never strays too far from the nest for he knows that no matter what, he’ll always return. The same thing applies to us Jews. Even though we stray a bit far in our hearts we always know we can return. That is loyalty!

Michal offers today’s couple an example of exemplary conduct, even under duress. Given that we spend a great deal of time under the duress of day to day life in our fast paced world, Michal remains a role model who performed loyalty to her husband, a trait that G-d seeks in all of us.

A final story. When Rabbi Pinchas Sheinberg’s wife was very ill laying in a coma at the hospital, the old and frail Rabbi would make it his business to visit her every day. One of the nurses asked the Rav Sheinberg, “Rabbi why do you come here every day? She doesn’t see you”. He replied “I’m not here so my wife to see me; I’m here to see my wife”..

WHY IS SEDER NIGHT SO POWERFUL?

April 14, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

On the seder night one can basically ask and receive a favorable response more so than on any night. The reason is G-d had mercy on the Jews that night even though we didn’t deserve it. It says USHMA TZA’AKATAM-he heard our screams and he had mercy.
Speech is a gift given to humans that thereby differentiates them from other species. It connects the heavens (spiritual) to earth (physical). In essence this is how we communicate with G-d. Anyone who understands the laws of prayer is aware that without verbalization our prayers are not as potent. Speech connects the world of thought to world of action. We then have to ask a basic question – If speech is essential for prayer to reach the eavens, how then did G-d just,hear our screams and respond? Didn’t we say verbalization is required? We see how clever Pharoah and the Egyptians were. They worked the poor Jews to exhaustion till they couldn’t think and express themselves. This was done by design. They knew the power of the Jew is through his mouth and they planned to stifle that weapon.
Now we see what a merciful night the seder is. Even without the speech, without the bridge between heaven and earth, G-d still listened and released us from bondage. However, today is our chance to correct, or perhaps one should say, fill the void, of not having speech that night. On the seder night we use our speech as a vehicle that transcends our prayers, our love, our commitment to G-d. We use the seder as a platform to accomplish the power of speech. The fifth step of the haggadah “Maggid-to tell over” so we can V’HEGADEDA L’BINCHA-tell our children. We arouse our children’s curiosity and encourage them to ask questions. Any child would automatically ask question after they recite the MA NISHTANA. How many fathers have come to me and asked me “What do I answer my son when he recites the 4 questions? This night is a night where everything is open for disscussion. Apparently the section following the MAH NISHTANA is the response by the patriach of the family, answering the child.
Dedications

Miss Lorraine Schwartz wishing a happy Passover to all and would also like to dedicate in loving memory of her beloved grandfather Hanan ben El-Chanan and Ester, also in loving memory her beloved grandmother Rachel bat Tziporah, her mother Shulamit bat Rachel, her aunt Nava and her uncle Shmuel and Pinchas ben Efraim Cohen. MENUCHTAM BEH GAN EDEN…on behalf of their merit may the whole family see much success
Mr.and Mrs. Rafi Fouzailoff for peace and unity in the world especially among our Jewish nation, wishing all a chag kasher v’sameach to all of am Yisrael and we would also like to dedicate for refuah shelema Nomi bat Mazal and Yehuda ben Tzipora and Meyer our beloved brother in law
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Gad hatzlacha to all.

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Gad in loving memory Diana bat Sophie and for the hatzlacha, bracha and refuah shelema to all of klal Yisrael

The Alibayof family dedicating in loving memory of their father Shmuel Naman ben Yael and Joe’s mother-in-law Ruth bat Rivka and the brothers Aunt Aliza MENUCHATAM B’GAN EDEN

Mr. and Mrs. Jerry Gil in loving memory and honor of his parents Akiva and Esther Gil MENUCHATAM BEH GAN EDEN, may their ZECHUT be a bracha on the children, grandchildren and great grandchild

Mr. Jimmy Fellus and family dedicating in loving memory of his grandmother Rachel bat Shalm MENUCHATA B’GAN EDEN may on her zechut the family see much bracha

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph and Tali Ambalu in loving memory of the seven children that were killed NISHMATAM B’GAN EDEN

Anonymous for the health, parnasa AD BLI DAI- B’SHEFA, hatzlaha bracha, and abundance of Torah to Rafael ben Yehuda, Gavriel ben Yehuda, Yehuda ben Avraam, and their entire family as well to all of klal Israel. BEKAROV also a refuah shelema to Riva bat broocha Berta bat Osnat

Mr.and Mrs. Jack and Nora Abraham wishing everybody a chag kasher v’sameach

Ramin Nassimian and family would like to wish MAZAL TOV!! on the marriage of Robin and Mikey Rendel as well as Esther and Jason Rachmanim…..may both couples build a BAYIT N’EMAN B’YISRAEL, AMEN!!
MAZAL TOV!! to Kordvani and Ebrani families on the engagement of Mirriam to Mark…may they build a BAYIT N’EMAN B’YISRAEL…AMEN!!
Kordvani family would like to wish a refuah shelema to Shimon ben Chana
Mr.and Mrs. Isaac Cohen may all the revakim and revakot find their true zevugim this year AMEN!!
Mr. Michael Assouline, wishing success and a happy Pesach o all of am Yisrael may Michael have success in all his endeavors and parnasa ad bli dai!!!
Mr. and Mrs. Lev ((Larry) Kimyagarov wishing all of am Yisrael a Happy and kosher Pesach….and may Hashem bless us all with briyut and abundance of parnasa
Mr. and Mrs.Boris and Bella Kikov in loving memories of he seven children that were killed MENUCHATAM B’GAN EDEN
Dr. and Mrs.Yitzchak Rachmanian wishing parnasa and well being to his family and to all of klal Yisrael also l’lui nishmat Sion ben Nissan, Eliyahu ben Mashiach
Mr. and Mrs. David Itzhakov wishing a chag kasher v’samech to all
The Inoyatov family would like to dedicate l’ilu nishmat their grandfather Avraham ben Frecha MENUCHATO B’GAN EDEN
Mr.and Mrs. Yitzie Laub and family in loving memory of his father Aharon ben Yitzchak and also his father-in-law Avraham Yaacov ben Aharon MENUCHATAM BEH GAN EDEN
MAZAL TOV ON THEIR ANNIVERSARY!! TO…Mr. and Mrs Yehuda an Elana Aharonov, may they have hatzlacha bracha and see much nachat from their children..AD MEAH V’ESRIM AND ALWAYS K’MO ZUUG YONIM

The Abraham family would like to dedicate in loving memory of their father Yehuda ben Rachel MENUCHATO B’GAN EDEN

Mr. and Mrs. Yves (Avi) and Bracha Behar in loving memory of his mother Devorah bat Rina MENUCHATA B’GAN EDEN

Anonymous refuah shelema Gavriel ben Yocheved

Anonymous for the safe release of our beloved Rachamim
Mr.and Mrs. Eduard Kurayev for hatzlacha and bracha to all of klal Yisrael

Mr. and Mrs, Michael Aharonoff wishing hatzlacha bracha shalom u’briyut to the whole wide world

The Yusupov family in loving memory of their beloved mother Raya bat Mazal Yosipov MENUCHATA B’GAN EDEN

Malidani Jewelers, the meirov family for the refuah shelema Liza bat Sara Moshe ben Adina Yaffa bat Rivka Shlomo ben Yaffa and all of klal Yisrael

The Natanov family wishing hatzlacha to all of Am Yisrael

Anonymous for the refuah shelema of Avraham ben Rachel

Rabbi and Mrs. Uri and Ricky Sklaar for the well being of yours truly and all of klal Yisrael and may there be more Cups of Coffee this coming year

Mr. David Bodenhiem in loving memory of his father Naftali ben Avraham MENUCHATO BEH GAN EDEN

Anonymous hatzlacha to all of klal Yisrael

Anonymous

REFUAH SHELEMA
Shoshana Roza bat Ester
Shura Yoshua bat Chusni
Frumit bat Esther Malka
Yissachar dov ben Tzipora Faiga
Nissim ben Rachel
Oshrat bat Esther
Aliza Ruchama bat orly
Rachel Esther bat Mirriam
Ruth bat Keshuar
Tovah bat Mirriam Leah
Liza bat Sara
Moshe ben Adina
(Jerry)Chaim Yaacov Lev ben Sarah
Ruth bat Ahuva
Yitzchak ben Minu
Channa Leah bat Sarah
Avraham ben Karmela
Tzvia bat Leah
Yechezkel ben Bracha Parvoneh
Shimon Yaacov ben Henya Faiga
Asher ben Nurit
Shmuel ben Bat Sheva
Meir Chai ben Menashe and Mazal
Avraham ben Rachel
R’ Efraim ben Rachel
Ruth bat Aliza and Jacob
Baruch ben Tamara
Daniel Refael ben Channa
Devorah bat Rachel
Anonymous refuah shelema to all of klal Yisrael
Tovah bat Mirriam Leah.
Gavriel ben Yocheved
Jack Nager
Leah Taub bat Mirriam
Irina bat Sonya
Shura bat Mira
Elana Bracha bat Adina

Sharon ben Shmuel Sarah
Irina bat Sonya
Ruth bat Keshvar
Yitzchak David ben Shulamis

NETS MINYAN AT BET GAVRIEL SHABBAT MORNING and every morning!!!

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One of the flavors of pesach

April 14, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

Charoset is a delicacy that is one of the delicious, if not thee delicious flavors of Pesach

We eat it at the pesach seder. Our family actually consumes it throughout the holiday. It makes a healthy snack and could be considered enough for a meal.
Its color and texture are meant to recall mortar (or mud used to make adobe bricks) which the Israelites used when they were enslaved in Ancient Egypt as mentioned in Tractate Pesahim (page 116a) of the Talmud. The word “charoset” comes from the Hebrew word cheres – חרס – “clay.”

Charoset is one of the symbolic foods on the Passover Seder Plate. After reciting the blessings, and eating a matzah “sandwich” combining charoset andmaror, the remainder is often eaten plain, spread on matzah.

Take dates, raisins, pomegranates, dried apricots, apples, dried plums, all kinds of nuts( walnuts, almonds etc.) place them in a blender or food processor in small batches. Pulse (turn the machine on and off quickly) several times until the nuts, dried fruits and apples are the desired size. Ad wine before serving

Faith, money and the kosher food industry

March 31, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s, Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus,
Rabbi Noach Isaac Oelbaum, Asher Hurzberg, Tanya chapters 7-8

I remember when M&M’s, Snickers and Milky Ways received their kosher OU certification. Those were the classic candy bars we ate as kids. Our teachers and parents informed us soon after that those beloved chocolates were not kosher. I must say we were deeply disappointed; for a child that was my biggest test. I remember saying “G-d All Mighty, what’s a kid supposed to eat? Hard candy?” Many years later, when I was in my 30’s it was announced that those candy/chocolate bars got an “OU dairy”. I felt liberated. That day, I remember buying, proudly, a pack of M&M’s and marching down the station to catch the F train to go home from work and to my pleasant surprise seeing another Jew with a Yarmulke holding an M&M pack grinning at me. Without hesitating twice, my response was the famous M&M’S commercial slogan: “It melts in your mouth, not your hands.”


Kosher stand at Citi Fields New York Mets Baseball team

Kashrut is a Biggy in Judaism. A very big deal. As my father once said to me, and he had no idea that I would end up becoming a Rabbi, “Don’t ever go into kashrut, it’s a dirty business.” Where did this come from? My grandfather was a Shochet – ritual slaughterer. He had a colleague who, like himself, was a Shochet and was in fact threatened with his life by the store owner to give a certification for a non-kosher animal. This took place in the early 1900 in Samarkand. My friends were not surprised, when I retold this story for they too heard something similar that occurred in their own community’s historic past.

How low can people get to sell their soul for money? How can you be the cause of making others eat non-kosher? The only reason we can give is that it happens to be a lot of money and when there is money at stake people lose themselves. Don’t be mistaken, I know there are many very honest and hardworking people in the Kashrut industry. I must commend every Rabbi, every mashgiach, and every kashrut organization for its near impossible task. The kashrut business is tough and carries a very big responsibility. The temptation is great and the sin is also great. Even if one only eats non-kosher because he thinks it is kosher there are still great repercussions. Why?

In life there is luxury and necessity. Food, it’s a necessity. Ever notice that when one is feeling down and out and the whole world seems like it’s caving in, that if one were to consume even a slight portion of food, within minutes they are like a new person. The confidence is back; the strength is re-captured, and the color is back on the face

Food can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Everything has to be measured; we have to be careful not to skip meals, ignore body cues, and especially not eat when we’re full, because it’s there, it’s so good, or because it’s left on their child’s plate. Oops! Down the hatch it goes. We have to be mindful, and mindful eating comes with an awareness of tastes, textures, smells.

After a certain age we have to be careful; we have to be additionally mindful how much goes in to the tank. There is Blood Type Diet, Fit for Life, The Carbohydrate Addict’s Diet, vegetarian, vegan etc. How many of us have been on and off carbs, on and off proteins? How many have gorged on fruits and vegetables?

Food can also be a delicacy. When it comes to the consumption of food we Jews have some of the best kitchens. We like to eat. Some of us are obsessed with Shabbat Kiddushs; they are obsessed with getting the right caterers for their happy occasions. Meissner’s meatballs, Mealmart’s pastrami in mustard sauce, Romania’s Deli in Chicago; I can go on and on. Bottom line, the Jewish food industry is thriving and its big business a very big business.

It could have been even bigger business, except one little obstruction stands in the way. Kashrut.

The laws of kosher food are introduced to the Jewish people in this week’s Parsha. All the commandments must be performed if for no other reason than because God has commanded us. However, the Torah concludes its presentation of dietary laws with a strict warning of another reason not to partake of “taref.” “Do not contaminate yourselves through them lest you become contaminated through them” [Ch. 11, verse 43]

Messilat Yesharim explains: “Forbidden food brings impurity into the heart and soul of a person–literally–until God distances Himself from the one who ate them… Forbidden foods are worse than other sins because they actually enter a person’s body and become a part of his flesh.”

In more contemporary terms: “You are what you eat!” When Moshe was rescued from the Nile by Pharaoh’s daughter, he would not nurse from the Egyptian women. Rashi explains that the mother’s milk has in it the elements of the food’s she has consumed, therefore Moshe, who was to converse with God, could not partake of such impurity. Mother’s milk, which is merely a byproduct of what she has eaten, has in it the potential “dull the heart and instill a bad nature in the infant.”[Rama/Yoreh Deah 81:7]

Now we understand the problem with eating non-kosher food, even if you’re under a false impression. But how does it dull the soul?

First let’s examine why food is spiritually important. Whether it be holidays, Shabbat or for that matter, every time we eat we have a chance to elevate our souls to a higher realm. Let’s take an example.

One famous time of the year where certain foods shine is Rosh Hashana, for it protects us for the entire year. On Rosh Hashanah, a traditional practice is to eat simanim, or symbolic foods, in order to symbolize good things for the future. How does it work? Can it really benefit us?

The origin of eating simanim can be found in the Talmudic discussion of omens (Horayot 12a; Keritot 6a). Abayei comments that since “simana milta” that is, “omens are of significance,” a person should make it a practice to “see” [other texts state to “eat”] five specific symbolic foods at the Rosh Hashanah table.

Interestingly, on Tu b’Shevat we have a tradition to eat fruit. The fruits repairs one’s eating for the entire year, so much so, that our eating can become like that of Adam and Eve before their spiritual fall (Pri Tzadik, Parashat Beshalach). Since their spiritual fall and contraction came about through impulsively eating from a tree, we can create a spiritual elevation and expansion by eating fruits in mindfulness and holiness.

We are capable of expanding holiness into the realm of pleasure because the source of our souls is located in the lofty ‘Ta’anug/ Divine pleasure’. (Noam Elimelech, Parashat Shemot) The Shabbat Aravit prayer calls us an ‘am medushnei oneg” or a “people saturated with delight.” Each of us is capable of this ecstatic delight, even amid our worldly needs and concerns. Thus, it’s important to enjoy what you eat.

Another food which has tremendous spiritual benefit is Matzah. Matzot are baked quickly, in an effort to overcome the influences and limitations of time. We bake flat, crisp matzah in order to reenact the Exodus, when the Children of Israel fled Egypt in a hurry, as the Torah says: “You shall eat matzot during seven days…bread of suffering, for you departed Egypt in great haste.” This mitzvah teaches that God’s control of nature and history is above and beyond the constraints and limitations of time. God does not require cause and effect. He does not need time in order to accomplish His goals. On Passover, we too must emulate God and become creative spiritually by hurrying time, by acting with zeal and speed, by living life beyond time, in partnership with God who is above time and is timeless. We respond to God’s Will by acting in defiance of nature, by breaking the limits imposed by time and nature.

ONE SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE FOOD ON HIS TABLE

Rabbi Yesa opened and said the following about the verse (Exodus 25:23), “You shall make a Table of acacia wood…”. This table stands inside the Tabernacle and a supernal blessing dwells upon it. From it emerges food for the whole world, and this table should not be empty even for one moment. There should be food on it, because the blessing is not present in an empty place. Therefore, bread must constantly be on it, in order that the supernal blessing shall always be present in it. And from that table, blessing and food come out to all the other tables of the world, for they are blessed due to it.

The table of every person has to be before him at the time that he blesses G-d in order that the blessing from above should dwell upon it and should not appear empty. For the blessings from above do not dwell in an empty place, as it is written: “Tell me, what have you in the house?” (II Kings 4:2)

THE SPIRITUAL ABC OF FOOD

When a person has a craving, a hunger for bread, this is but a reflection of his soul’s craving for the Divine utterance that is the “soul” of the bread, which the human being “redeems” by utilizing the energy he or she derives from the food towards a G-dly purpose.

There is a deep meaning of the verse (Psalms 107:5): “The hungry and thirsty, in them does their soul envelope itself.” A person desiring food may sense only his body’s hunger. In truth, however, “enveloped within” his physical hunger and thirst is his soul’s hunger for the “soul” of the food — the “sparks of holiness” within it which it is his mission to redeem.

The great Kabbalist, Rabbi Isaac Luria (the “Ari”, 1534-1572) taught that every created thing possesses a “spark” of divine energy that constitutes its essence and soul. When a person utilizes something toward a G-dly end, he brings to light this divine spark displaying it and realizing the purpose for which it was created. In all physical substances, a material “husk” (kelipah) encases and conceals the divine spark at its core, causing great effort on the part of man to access the spark. But accessing the spark is crucial for the one eating the food and for the world. The world gains a spiritual force.

No existence is free from a divine spark — certainly, nothing can exist without the spark of G-dliness that infuses it with being and purpose. But not every spark can be actualized. There are certain “solid” elements whose sparks are inaccessible to us. The fact that something is forbidden by the Torah means that its husk cannot be penetrated, so that its spark remains locked within it and cannot be elevated.

Thus, one who eats a piece of kosher meat and then uses the energy gained from it to perform a mitzvah, thereby elevates the spark of divinity that is the essence of the meat, freeing it of its mundane embodiment and raising it to a state of fulfilled spirituality. However, if one would do the same with a piece of non-kosher meat, no such “elevation” would take place. Even if he applied the energy to positive and G-dly ends, this would not constitute a realization of the divine purpose in the meat’s creation, since the consumption of the meat was an express violation of the divine will.

This is the deeper significance of the Hebrew terms assur and mutar used by Torah law for the forbidden and the permissible. Assur, commonly translated as “forbidden,” literally means “bound”, implying that these are things whose sparks the Torah has deemed bound and imprisoned in a shell of negativity and constrained. Mutar (“permitted”), which literally means “unbound,” is the term for those sparks which the Torah has empowered us to disengage from their mundane embodiment and actively involve in our positive undertaking.

The “bound” elements of creation also have a role in the realization of the divine purpose outlined by the Torah. But their role is a “negative” role – they exist so that we should achieve a conquest of self by resisting them. “I will not eat” – this is a commandment to not do something. There is no Torah-authorized way in which they can actively be involved in our development of creation, no way in which they may themselves become part of the “dwelling for G-d” that we is charged to make of our world. Of these elements it is said, “Their breaking is their rectification.” Whether it be McDonalds, Burger King, they exist to be rejected and defeated, and it is in their defeat and exclusion from our lives that their purpose is realized.

But by eating kosher one enhances spirituality in himself. He makes use of the spark that is incorporated in the food therefore releasing the food from its mundane status and it too is spiritually elevated. So we see this is one of the sources of spirituality, “food”‘.

We learn a valuable lesson about priorities from non-other than Avraham Avinu, our forefather. Avraham was a very rich man. It says G-d blessed Avraham “BA’KOL”, with everything. One should always have loyal people working for you. Avraham had his faithful servant Eliezer by his side. The verse states about Eliezer “HAMOSHEL” – he was in charge of all of Avraham’s possessions. Avraham, as the pasuk seemingly implies, trusted Eliezer wholeheartedly. However, peculiarly and, for the most part, very out of character when it came to finding a mate for his son Yitzchak Avraham made Eliezer swear that he will go down and find him a girl as he specifically instructed. What happened to the loyalty? What happened to the trusted servant that you rely on and have faith with all your possessions?

The answer is simple. Granted Avraham had complete trust in Eliezer when it came to financial matters. However when it came to matchmaking, finding a wife, the spiritual essence of the future of Israel, that’s different!!! That is separate from the money. That is faith and there, one has to raise the stakes.

Kashrut is separate then money, it’s the spiritual essence of the Jewish people. We have to have reliable certificates on the food we eat. We have to trust the people in charge to take all the precautions that will enable them not to tempted by greed, the mighty dollar.

The significance of the various names of G-d

March 31, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Asher Hurzberg, Henoch Leibowitz z’tl, Eliyahu Dessler z’tl

Ever wonder why in the siddur there are many variations of the name of G-d? Here is a little glimpse of some of G-d’s many names, SHALOM, EMET, KEL SHAKAY, ELOKIM, HASHEM…… What is the reason for so many different ones? Couldn’t one just suffice?

The answer lies in the explanation of how G-d runs the world. Rav Eliyahu Dessler, in his book Michtav Me’Eliyahu, explains there are two major methods in which G-d runs the world. One of them is through Rachamim – compassion, and the other one of them is through Din – harsh judgment. Yearly, daily, or even hourly, Rachamim and Din constantly seesaw back and forth. We, as clever Jews, push the right button at the right time and place to capitalize on the moment on hand. It’s similar to musical chairs; when the music stops you better be seated. For example, morning prayers are under the cover of Rachamim, while afternoon prayers fall under Din. When the time is ripe for compassion then one prays his heart out. When it’s time to do business then so be it. So As King Shlomo writes in Mishlay “There is a time for everything.”

By comedians, of course, the opposite of what we just said is true. They shock the audience with something contrary to the norm, using the most improper timing available. For instance, one of the most hilarious scenes in the history of comedy was “Chuckles the clown” where the clown got killed by an elephant who stampeded him. Following the news many of his friends were laughing and reminiscing at the clown’s antics including how he died. However, the main friend was mortified at how everyone was making light of the clown. After all, he just passed away. “Show some dignity” she scolded her friends. However at the actual funeral, the same stern and usually morbid character who berated everyone for not being serious was giggling and laughing uncontrollably and noticed by all, while the rest were somber.

As Jew, however, we know the proper times. The Seder night when we celebrate Pesach, for example, is considered a powerful night. It’s a night where G-d shows compassion therefore we have to seize the moment and apply what is needed to optimize our chances to receive the proper brachot.

The most famous examples of “choose your battles” would be the month (Elul) before Rosh Hashana where we say slichot every morning or possibly even after midnight, if you’re a night owl. Why do we say it at those particular times? For we’ve learned that after midnight G-d proves to be leaning towards the Rachamim side and in order to invoke more compassion we ask forgiveness during that period of time.

(Shemot 6, 2) “V’YEDABER ELOKIM EL MOSHE V’YOMER EHLAV ANI HASHEM”

In this week’s parsha, Vayera, it’s very interesting to note that by the narrative of the verses, we can see how G-d fluctuates between DIN and RACHAMIM. G-d manipulates the moment changing the tone, the mood. We notice this through the use of the Master of the Universe’s name.

The parsha starts in an unusual way. Its starts with VAYEDABER- a harsher way of saying “and he spoke”. The name ELOKIM connote G-d judging with strictness. “VAYOMER” the other variation of “and he spoke” is softer and is found in the second half of the verse. The passuk ends ANI HASHEM G-d’s other name. Hashem implies compassionate, kindness, mercy. So ELOKIM and HASHEM are in the same sentence.

The underlying deep meaning of this first passuk is ELOKIM has been running the show. Strict judgment was in the air and the Jews are suffering. The Egyptians have not treated them very well; they were not being good hosts; they went overboard. The original intent of the Egyptians was to give the Israelites normal accommodations. One of the key tests in life is to treat subordinates with the proper respect. It is very tempting to take advantage when one is at a high position. The Egyptians failed that test. The became a super power thanks to Joseph and the Jews. However, it seems like they forgot who buttered their bread. The Egyptians denounced G-d who butters everyone’s bread – “We do not recognize your G-d” was the popular slogan. Their arrogant nature resulting from success was apparent. We see another lesson from here – the freedom of choice in the world. For its not just the Jews that have the ability to choose but the gentile nations as well. They too are being tested.

G-d is implying in the first part of the passuk that the Jews have been on DIN-justice mode however “ANI HASHEM” now I will demonstrate compassion.

(Verse 3) “I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob with [the name] Almighty God, but [with] My name YHWH, I did not become known to them.”

The next verse G-d mentions that he came to our forefathers in the form of another name KEL SHKAKY but my compassionate name I did not show them.

We have mention previously the definition of the word OLAM -world is hidden. Our job is to discover G-d and draw him out in the open. Avraham was the first man to do so. KEL SHAKAY means to draw G-d into nature. Avraham accomplished that feat through the ten tests. There was not one person before Avraham who was able to draw G-d into the world. However our forefathers wanted to be judged with strict judgement. As it states in the verse “I did not show them HASHEM”, which is referring to compassion”. The end of the passuk again refers as now I will change gears.

We learn from verse 5 through 8 that G-s has heard the cries of b’nai Yisrael and sees the Egyptian torturing the Jews. He then said “I will remember the covenant I made with your forefathers. I will take you out of Egypt, I am Hashem”. I will now be on compassion mode, however once will form b’nai Yisrael into a nation I will switch back to ELOKIM; this means I will go back to strict judgement mode.

An obvious, powerful question arises: Why go back to strict Judgement? I would be perfectly okay with compassion! Why did our forefathers ask to be judged with strict judgement?

In order to answer the question we have to fast forward when the Jews were in the desert and Moshe, the leader, and his brother Aharon, the high Priest, were in the twilight of their lives.

One of the most tragic incidences in the Torah is the death of the two sons of Aharon – Nadav and Avihu. The Sages indicate that everyone assumed they were the heir apparent to the leadership. They were smart, charismatic and came from one of the leading families of the Jewish people. A matchmaker would undoubtedly label them a ‘catch’. They brought an unauthorized sacrifice to G-d ‘and they were killed, consumed by the fire’.

It is hard to believe that for such an act, one is to be punished so severely. In fact, it’s a bit confusing. Some commentaries view their act as one of the greatest bonds between G-d and man; while others view their demise due to a few character flaws. The main one was haughtiness, which resulted in consumption of wine while conducting sanctuary work. In addition this also led to them believing nobody is good enough for marriage. How do you rectify the two opinions?

Elaborating more on the flaws that the two brothers had, Rav Henoch Leibowitz, zt’l explains they were punished because they gave the impression of being interested in many women, and a caused them great pain. The women had the wishful thinking of ‘I’ll wait by the phone’ but the call never came for them. Rav Henoch asks “But they didn’t ask these women to wait! They didn’t say, ‘I’ll call you back.’ Why punish them?” He answers, “One has to be clear and say ‘I’m not interested.'” One should not create a false impression or else the girl would wait by the phone or the boy will keep on calling and it will be humiliating for both. Of course rejection has to be handled delicately but nevertheless firmly.

We are still, however, left with the question, why were Aharon’s sons punished so severely? There would be no singles scene if G-d judges us like that today!

The answer is, the reason for the harsh judgment was at the request of Nadav and Avihu themselves! But that’s insane; why in the world would you want justice if G-d will be more accepting with compassion? This can be explained with the following example: When a father is in a “justice mode” and demands much from his son, there is obviously more pressure and a higher standard is expected. If the son delivers and succeeds in the task at that high level, the father would be astonished, and say, “WOW! My boy was able to withstand my justice and live up to my demands.”

Rashi, one of the mainstream commentaries on the Torah, mentions that Nadav and Avihu were ‘sick with love for G-d’. When a gifted, smart, but young and inexperienced person has an interest in a girl, he will succeed in approaching her faster than the average person, only to get rejected right at the threshold. The Gra (commentary) explains their love toward G-d was skin deep, which didn’t develop, and a false enthusiasm was created because of their inexperienced young age. Their fearlessness, resulting from haughtiness, made them explore levels of spirituality that no man has gone before. Nadav and Avihu thought they can be judged with Din, not realizing that, because of their haughtiness, they had flaws. So any minute, any speck of negativity was magnified, therefore receiving the severe punishment.

We can clearly see there is positive and negative to being judged with strictness. On the one hand, one is going through difficult times. On the other hand the reward is tremendous and one will be highly regarded.

But be cautious! Our forefathers Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov asked to be judged with strict judgement for them the reward is far greater. “Come on, bring it on, I can take it and I’ll pass the test”. Our forefather passed the test. However Nadav and Avihu were not ready. King David too asked to be tested and failed. I too, many years ago asked to be tested and failed. Out of “love for G-d” many people ask for things they are not ready for yet. They ask to be tested with strict judgement. Our tests in our lives consist of many difficulties, and some are as of result of harsh judgement – ELOKIM. But we don’t ask for these tests and we shouldn’t. It comes by itself. One should be aware between the fluctuation between name of compassionate HASHEM and the strict ELOKIM.

Therefore, some of our prayers are best suited for Rachamim and some are best suited for Gevurah (another name for harsh judgement) and in response G-d’s names, some are names of compassion some are of strict judgment, are placed accordingly.

(Shemot 14, 31) “And Israel saw the great hand, which the Lord had used upon the Egyptians, and the people feared the Lord, and they believed in the Lord and in Moses, His servant.”

It seems like the pasuk is redundant. The first part of the verse already confirms Israelites belief in G-d. Rav Henoch Leibowitz z’tl enlightens us that the second part of the pasuk is not referring to b’nai Yisrael at all. The second half is referring to the Egyptians. How is that possible? The Egyptians drowned!!

The answer is a powerful lesson in regards to a test. We are tested till the last breath we take and we can realize our mistake even in the last moment. Rav Henoch says as the waters were closing in and the Egyptians realized that they were going to drown that was the moment they realized the hand of G-d and believed

What is the proper Jewish education for children?

March 31, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s Paysach Krohn, Yissachar frand, Berel Wein, , Yossi Bilius and Dr. Abba Goldman

If one ever had the privilege to have a Jewish education, one has to wonder why he is taught certain particular topics. The art and creativity is relating the Torah topics to our everyday life. So what does an educator teach? After all, our great Torah is a smorgasbord of knowledge. It’s a sea of information which one can never get enough. Interestingly, the Jewish education system is uniformly structured purposely so our youngsters get the best enlightenment into Judaism. For example, the Yeshivas start teaching Talmud in the fourth or fifth grade. Interestingly, they always start off with one of the BABAS. It’s either tractate Baba Kama, Baba Metzia or Baba Batra. Originally, all three formed a single tractate called Nezikin (torts or injuries), each Baba being a Part or subdivision. Baba Kamma (first gate) discusses various forms of damage and the compensation owed for them. Baba Metzia (second gate) discusses civil matters such as property law and usury. It also examines one’s obligations to guard lost property that have been found, or property explicitly entrusted to him. Baba Batra (last gate) deals with a person’s responsibilities and rights as the owner of property.

There is pride and joy in being able to figure out the Gemarah.. The grade school Rabbi puts strong emphasis on teaching the Talmud. “One has to have a Gemarah head” my father would always say.

Many years ago a group of prominent Rabbis came to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein to discuss changes in the elementary school curriculum. Rabbi Moshe was the leading figure of his generation and he had the final word on most topics. At the time, he ruled on all the Jewish law topics in the United States for the Ashkenazim as well as the Sefaradim. He was the only big game in town and everyone abided by his rule.

What could they possibly revise? The long grueling hours? The lunches? We and now our children spent a majority of time during the day in Yeshiva. Its an expensive undertaking on the parents, KOL HAKAVOD!! We have to ask ourselves what is the primary goal that is expected of a 4th or 5th grader?

Let’s peak and find out what the leading Rabbis wanted to revise. They requested Rabbi Moshe Feinstein to change the curriculum of the learning Torah.

The Rabbi argued that perhaps it would be best for a 4th grader to open up for the first time a Tractate Brachot as appose to the BABBAS. Tractate Brachot discusses laws of basic beliefs, the Shema, and how to make the proper blessings. The Rabbis argued this is essential in the basic fundamental development of a knowledgeable Jew. One has to know how crucial that the proper material is presented to the students. One has to water the roots properly or else it won’t grow correctly.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein retorted to the Rabbis, and this is a valuable lesson to all Jews:

“Learning the BABBAS is of the utmost importance for it shows sensitivity to ones fellow man. If a Jew is aware of anothers property, if he’s aware through the examples given by the Talmud,of negligence then he will conduct himself on a much higher respectable way towards his freind, neighbor and stranger on the street. If we ingrain these concepts at a young age then we are doing a tremendous service to society.

An example was given by Rabbi Pesach Krohn where a young Israeli lady was exploring the world and trying different religions. She was a spiritual soul wanting to find herself and on the way LEVALOT- have a good time. Many Israelis go on these journeys after they finish the army.
On one of her stops was India where she joined a caravan of Buddhas. One day as she was walking with her Guru, mentor and they see what looks like a wallet lying in the street.

The Guru picks up the wallet and gestures to the sky proclaiming “the G-ds have sent down this present” as a reward for my observance of the laws. A little confused and troubled, the Israeli girl asks the Guru: “Aren’t you going to open the wallet and find out who it belongs to? Perhaps there are clues on how to return the wallet to its rightfull owner”.
This is what she learned growing up from her father and religious grandfather. She was appalled at the reaction of the Guru. Returning a lost object to its rightful owner is elementary.
This week’s parsha hints at this very point.The parsha begins with the words “And these are the statutes (mishpatim) that you shall place before them.” The bulk of the parsha deals with the many laws that are categorized as “mishpatim”. These are the laws of interpersonal relationships that deal with everything from a person who damages to the various kinds of watchmen to the prohibition of taking interest on loans. A good portion of Choshen Mishpat — the section of Shulchan Aruch that deals with monetary and financial laws — are based on the pasukim in this week’s parsha.

The first Rashi in our parsha comments on the opening word “v’ayleh” [and these]. Rashi explains that wherever the Torah uses the word “ayleh” [these], the Torah is invalidating or excluding something previously mentioned. However, where the Torah uses the word “ayleh” prefixed by the conjunctive vov as in “V’eleh” then we are supplementing that which came earlier. “And these” has the connotation “not only those, but these as well.”

The application here, as Rashi explains, is that just as those (laws mentioned in Parshas Yitro, i.e. — the Asseret HaDibrot [Ten ‘Commandments’] were given at Sinai, so too, the laws mentioned in Mishpatim were also given at Sinai. The laws of Mishpatim are an integral part of Judiasm for it puts an emphasis on man’s relationship with his fellow man as well as the relationship with G-d.

To respect others and how to communicate properly is seen as front row center in the beginning of the Torah. It is as though the Torah in the two first parshiyot was in a hurry to get to Avraham and his life and tell us the achievements and struggles. The Midrash indicates that this is in fact a true analysis of the Torah’s intent when in the beginning of Bereshit it clearly indicates that the entire process of creation was enacted for the purpose of Avraham’s coming on the world scene. Avraham is the pivotal figure in human history. He is the one who raises the banner of monotheism in a fashion that can be understood and followed by millions of humans. He is also the father of goodness and kindness, compassion and sensitivity towards others as a way of life, a value system, and not merely as isolated acts of momentary compassion.
Education, education and education is emphasised with Avraham’s grandson Yaakov. Yaakov stopped at the study house of Shem and Ever for fourteen years on his flight from Eisav to his uncle’s house in Aram. This seems to be a strange stopover at first glance.

How will the instruction that he received in the school established by Shem and Ever contribute to his survival and success at the house of Lavan, the master of decieving people; he is one of a shady character? The question is phrased in a more current if blunter fashion in the Talmud itself – of what value are the Torah students to society at large?

To meet Lavan, Yaakov apparently needs to train in different forms of legal, commercial and worldly pursuits. Studying Torah is all well and fine, but how does it prepare one for the real world? This question is heard today in thousands of Jewish households and is a most vexing one. Our world today is one of Lavan compounded.

Where does Torah study and Torah knowledge fit into our milieu, into solving our problems and difficulties, in facing down our enemies? Yet, we find that on the whole Yaakov was quite successful in the house of Lavan. He acquires his wives there and his children are born and raised there. What courses of study did he take and master in the school of Shem and Ever that enabled him to so succeed?

Rabbi Berel Wein indicates that the answer lies in understanding the place and goals of a Torah education in one’s life. Most people, especially those who view it from the outside looking in, think that Torah education is purely a matter of material covered, of knowledge of facts, of understanding complex and difficult Talmudical concepts and statements. In truth it is all that but it is much more.

A proper Torah education, a study course at the school of Shem and Ever, is meant to impart life-long values and a world view in which to fit the events of one’s life in a proper and moral fashion. One has to learn how to deal effectively with Lavan but one has to be very cautious not to become Lavan in the process.

Self-defense and protection of one’s own interests is part of the Torah value system. But pleasantness, sensitivity, faith in God’s justice and promises, and a willingness to tolerate and accommodate others (even unpleasant others) are also a part of the value system of the Torah.

Yaakov enters the school of Shem and Ever to absorb the Torah value system that will allow him to survive Lavan and not to fall spiritually and become Lavan in the form of Yaakov. One of the most difficult tasks that faces Jewish society today is to remain a kingdom of priests and a holy people even when struggling with Lavan, Yishmael and Eisav for our very existence. Our schools have to teach Torah values and not be satisfied merely with knowledge, grades and test scores.

For 3,500 years, Jews have been telling themselves, their children, and the rest of the world: Be good. Be kind. Be honest. Be ethical. Be moral. It is the most revolutionary message in human history, and we are the people who were chosen to deliver it — to be, as the prophet Isaiah said, an “or lagoyim” — a light unto the nations.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein made his point clear. The ruling will not change. We have to raise Jews that will become a MENCH, an ODAM then and only then they will learn in depth the other laws.

The Power of Publicity – Displaying a Kiddush Hashem

March 23, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of

Rabbi’s Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilius

“WILL YOU WEAR THIS IN PUBLIC”

I once asked a friend why he doesn’t wear a kippa. After all, I argued, you keep Shabbat, kashrut and the basic mitzvot. He answered “I don’t want to be scrutinized for everything I do. If I don’t have the kippa on my head, I can do whatever I want, wherever I want and whenever I want to”. In other word he is relinquishing responsibilities. That is, he is relinquishing the responsibilities of being a Jew.

Is he correct? Should we hide our Jewishness or should we display it? Of course not! We are the chosen people and have a task to show and teach the world G-dly concepts. A study was taken a number of years ago as to which nation is most frequently displayed on the front page stories of the New York Times, a leading national news circulation. With the exception of the United States, Israel and Jewish related stories came in number two after US. We are scrutinized to no end, even though we don’t ask for it. Why? Because we are Jews. So if we are in the limelight any way, why don’t we control how we are perceived; it might benefit us to act like the fine role models we are supposed to be.

Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky zt”l recounted that when he was a Rabbi in Lithuania before World War 2, he was asked a question by a resident of his community. The man had purchased stamps from the local post office, and had received more stamps that he had paid for. For such a poor man, the extra stamps were no trifle matter. Nonetheless, Rav Kaminetsky suspected that perhaps the postal clerk was testing the rabbi. This suspicion was confirmed a short time later when the clerk gave him too much change. The rabbi returned the extra money. Many years after the Nazis came and destroyed the community, the rabbi heard that this clerk had saved many Jews, testifying that he tested everybody to assess their honesty, the only trustworthy people were the Jews! This teaches us that in addition to the obligation to be honest and avoid thievery, a Jew must be extra vigilant to bring about a Kiddush Hashem.

The Gemara [Bava Metziah 87a] describes that Avraham made a party to mark the occasion of the weaning of Yitzchak, to which he invited all the great men of the generation. Avraham Avinu was not just a private citizen. He was society’s primary proponent of monotheism. He rejected the pagan idols of the rest of the world and proclaimed the existence of a Master of the Universe.

Avraham Avinu wanted to sanctify the Name of G-d (Kiddush Hashem) and publicize the great miracle that G-d did for him. Avraham made this big celebration for just that purpose, but the cynics that were sitting there were having a field day. They joked that Yitzchak could not possibly be Avraham’s child. Sarah must have become pregnant from Avimelech. “She lived many decades with Avraham and had not become pregnant from him. ” We all know how it goes: A roll of the eyes, a twist of the nose, a mocking smile.

Even though Avraham fathered a child with Hagar, cynicism does not need to be precise or accurate. The effect of a “one-liner” is basically that of a pin. In just one moment, the balloon bursts. The “press” will write it up. The fact that anyone with intelligence who thinks about this for 30 seconds will recognize it as nonsense is irrelevant. The damage has already been done. Such is the power of leitzanut – mockery.

In response, G-d made a miracle, and made Yitzchak’s face look exactly like Avraham’s. Why did G-d respond in such a miraculous fashion to counteract this false type of mocking?

Who cares what these idiots say. One can simply say “I’m bigger then that. I don’t need to respond.” However, allowing this “momentary bursting” of the “balloon of Kiddush Hashem” would have defeated Avraham’s entire purpose in making the party. Thus, G-d needed to make a miracle to restore the inspirational nature of this festive meal.

We see a powerful example from this week’s Parsha. At the end of the Parsha, Bo, we have a Mitzvah to “Sanctify for Me (G-d) all the first born…” [Shemot 13:2] The first born of human beings and animals are holy to G-d. Why? Because G-d passed over Egypt on the night of Pesach and killed the first born of the Egyptians while sparing the first born of Israel. Is that a reason for the first born to be invested with a holiness which lasts until today?

The answer can be found is an interesting letter which Rabbi Yissachar Frand obtained from Rav Simcha Zissel from Kelm to Baron Rothschild. Rabbi Frand frequently quotes Rav Simcha Zissel. Baron Rothschild, as we all know, was a fantastically wealthy person who put his money to good use. He helped thousands and thousands of Jews. The Alter from Kelm writes the following to Baron Rothschild:

“I want to express my gratitude to you for all the generous and kind acts, which you have done for the entire Jewish people. Do not suspect, Heaven forbid, that I am coming with my own request for funds. However, in my humble opinion, I have to express my sense of gratitude for all that you have done to help the Jewish people. You are a person who stands before Kings and nevertheless you do not forget from where you came, and therefore maintain your support for Jewish needs. This is a great Sanctification of G-d’s Name and your reward is very great. Based on legal obligation (al pi din), I feel I have to express my thanks, honor, and appreciation to such an individual and to such a Sanctification of G-d’s name.”

Then the Alter from Kelm continues… “Think for a minute. The Halacha was to have been that the First Born was to have done the Service in the Temple. Had it not been for the sin of the Golden Calf, the Bechorim [first born] would have served G-d in the Beis HaMikdash, instead of the Kohanim. Why? Because they were passed over on that night of Pesach. As a result, until this very day there is sanctity of the first born. Not only does this sanctity apply to the first born of a human, but even to the first born of an animal.”

Rav Simcha Zissel asks, “Why? What did the Bechorim do, that made them holy?” They were merely passive. They were born first and therefore were saved by G-d, when He killed the first born. So what? What did the first born do that would have made them holier than a regular person, and fit for the Temple Service until this very day?

Rav Simcha Zissel answers, that they participated — albeit passively — in a Sanctification of G-d’s Name. When G-d, in his Own Glory came into Egypt and killed the Egyptian first born while sparing the Jewish first born, that was a tremendous Kiddush HaShem. That may have been the greatest manifestation of G-d’s power, up to that that point in history.

The first born, passively aided and abetted this great Kiddush HaShem. A person who even passively helps to create a Sanctification of G-d’s name, has a very great reward… to the extent that even today a first born is holy. Why? Because thousands of years ago the Bechorim ‘helped’ make a Kiddush HaShem.

“If this is the reward for a person who passively helps in a Kiddush Hashem, how can we begin to contemplate,” says the Alter from Kelm, “what the reward is of a person that actively goes and makes a Kiddush Hashem?”

“Therefore, you, Baron Rothschild, considering who you are and what you have done, have actively and publicly Sanctified G-d’s Name. Therefore, the greatest honor, respect and sense of Hakarat HaTov is due to you, merely by virtue of this fact.”

This is the lesson from the parsha of Bechor. Even passively helping create a Kiddush HaShem is a tremendous zechut [merit]. How much more of a Kiddush HaShem are we creating, when, in our daily lives, the way we act, the way we talk, the way we negotiate, the way we deal in business and the way we act among people –Jew and non-Jew alike — Sanctifies G-d’s Name?

If we use opportunities to go out of our way to make that Kiddush HaShem; if we say that extra “Good Morning,” if we are assiduously honest; if we go the extra mile to make that Kiddush Hashem so that they can say about us “You are my Servant, Israel, through whom I will be Glorified” [Yeshaya 49:3]; that they can say upon us “How pleasant are his ways” [Talmud Yoma 86a]; how beautiful are the ways of a religious Jew; then, as the Alter from Kelm writes, our reward will be very great.

There are times when one does a mitzvah to the fullest with the deepest commitment and through his action brings out Kiddush Hashem. I would like to illuminate such a case with a fellow named Rabbi Yosef Gutfarb. Rabbi Yosef was a New Yorker who moved to Jerusalem, Israel. He made an undertaking that he will always pray with a minyan.

We Jews pray 3 times a day and the optimal prayer conducted is with a minyan, which consists of at least 10 men present. Kadish may also only be recited in the presence of 10 men.

It can be quite challenging for one to get up early in the morning, in the heat or cold, and attend prayer services.

What is dedication?

What does it mean to pass a tough test?

If someone enters a freezing cold car at 6:15 in the morning, in the dead of winter, just to get to minyan; now that’s dedication!! Mankind has not figured out an inexpensive way to have the car heating system working so that it’s hot intently. No one looks forward for the car in the early morning experience. It is equally challenging to pry yourself from the middle of an important business transactions and attend the afternoon services. One can get really involved in their career. Furthermore, evening services are not any easier after a long and hard day at work. Nevertheless Rabbi Yosef soldiered his way through three decades, whether on business trips all around the world or any sort of unexpected pop-ups; he did not miss a beat of Kadish or one amen of a minyan!!…Talk about longevity!! Hmm, did someone give Rabbi Yosef the evil eye?

One night Rav Yosef came home after 3:00am and he had not yet prayed the evening services. Since in Shaufat the last minyan is at 11:00pm he calculated he would go to the next town over to search for a minyan. He was confident he would catch one in Zichron Moshe where there was a shul (Bet Hakneset) there, known to be a minyan factory. A minyan factory is a place where there are rooms throughout the building, where there is always a minyan at any time of day or night; how convenient is that?

Well mazal was a little difficult that night and to his dismay only one other person was waiting. “Do you think anybody else will come?” he inquisitively asked.

“Why are you saying Kadish? Are you an Avel-mourning the loss of a loved one?” the man questioned.

“No, I just made a commitment many years ago to not to miss a minyan” he replied. “How could this be? There is always a minyan here!” he nervously thought. What to do? What to do?

“I got it!!”

Rav Yosef then called a taxi company and asked if eight cabs can come to Zichron Moshe Shul (Bet Hakneset). “Only Israeli drivers” he added emphatically.

The dispatcher retorted back, “I don’t have eight taxies at three in the morning.”

“How many do you have?” Rav Yosef asked. “Only five” the dispatcher replied.

“Fine, send them quickly please: don’t forget only Israeli drivers!!”

Rav Yosef called another taxi company and asked for three Israeli drivers. The dispatcher said they would come in a few minutes.

The eight cabs all lined up and got out of their cars thinking they came at a tail end of some kind of party. To their dismay they found only Rabbi Yosef and the gentleman.

Rav Yosef told the drivers to turn off their cars and enter the shul “we’re going to pray the evening services, I need a minyan”. He explained his strange appeal by saying, “I haven’t missed a minyan in

years”.

The drivers, surprised but intrigued, obliged to the bizarre request.

They all could read Hebrew but not all were familiar with the protocol of tefila -prayer. Some had kippas-skull caps in their pockets, some in their glove compartment in their taxies.

After the prayer Rav Yosef took out his wallet to pay the drivers.

All the drivers, one by one refused to take the money. They were all stunned by the audacity of this American Jew who went to great lengths to fulfill his commitment for the sake of praying with a minyan. So impressed by the 15 minute prayer, many of the drivers thanked Rav Yosef for an uplifting spiritual experience. Many told him they have never had such a strong feeling when they prayed like this one time. Some said they haven’t prayed in a while and were honored to participate. They were all glad to have the opportunity to pray with such a person.

That’s a Kiddush Hashem and, more importantly, that’s the power of a Kiddush Hashem.

Intellect vs Emotions

This article was comprised using thoughts from Chidushay Halev by Rav Henoch Liebowitz z’l

On the morning of Rosh Hashanah, Rivka [Rebecca] went into the bedroom to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready to go to the synagogue [Shul], to which he replied in a dull voice, “I’m not going.”
“Why not?” Rivka demanded. “I’ll give you two good reasons, Mother.” he said. “One, they don’t like me, and two, I don’t like them.” Rivka replied in an exasperated voice, “I’ll give you two good reasons why you must go to the synagogue. One, you’re 54 years old, and two, you’re the Rabbi.”
Rabbi’s are people too. No one is immune; they also can get sucked in to the emotions of their job.

If one knows a little American history. Henry Kissinger was the Secretary of State back in the 1970’s under President Richard Nixon. He was considered by many as a very smart man. There was a popular joke about emotions and intellect involving the smartest man of his time:

Three people were on an airplane: Henry Kissinger, a boy scout, and a Rabbi. They will find out that the plane is in distress and will crash shortly. There are only two parachutes!! Henry Kissinger grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. So, the Rabbi goes to the boy scout ‘take the parachute. Son, I’m a lot older than you. You have a long life ahead of you. Please take the parachute. The boy laughs ‘Don’t worry, Rabbi. There are two left .The smartest man in the world just took my knapsack.’

When situations are such that one is forced to make a decision with great deal of emotions involved, in this case facing life and death on the airplane, a greater amount mistakes will occur. The intellect has to have greater control over the emotions to have a good functional system.

Desire is another emotion that can be devastating, even when one has time on his side; it’s a slow kill. If the desire is strong enough, then chances are it’s not governed by intellect. One may think he’s rational but it’s the emotion that stems from the desire that’s talking. What’s that expression? Don’t confuse me with the facts, I made my decision.

Rashi said Pharaoh refused to be humbled before G-d (Shemot 10:3). When the Egyptians began to enslave the Jews, Pharaoh rationalized that we can really use them and gain from their productivity. However, G-d had other plans and Pharaoh realized himself it wasn’t beneficial to enslave them. His advisers warned him also Egypt will be lost if the enslavement of the Jews continues. Their powerful G-d will destroy us. Pharaoh who was considered very smart knew that these plagues will destroy his kingdom. Yet his ego didn’t allow him to let them go.
But how does one understand Pharaohs behavior? Apparently, it should be the opposite. If Pharaoh was so concerned about his Honor and protect his ego, he would have let the Jews out the first chance he had knowing he’s going to lose his status and wealth. There’s no comparison; it’s a no-brainer. What’s at stake? Pharaoh can lower his head and let them go and still maintain his kingdom and perhaps a good chance of being considered a superpower. Or he would hold firm and continue to enslave the Israelites and inevitably his army would be destroyed and Egypt will never ever gain the glorified position it holds and Pharaoh would be labeled a fool by the world. Let’s not overlook that he sinned in front of G-d and will be accounted for it after his life is over.

Why did he make such a decision? Isn’t it mind boggling?

Pharaohs inflated ego was making the decisions. This desire, which stems from the heart, overrides the intellect. No matter how logical and factual the emotions block out the intellect where even the smartest man in the world will not make a rational decision. Even if his advisors are begging him to let them go and the plague are causing devastation, Pharaoh will feel confident that it’s the right choice. It’s a scary thought, how many decisions people make based on desire; desire for honor and women.

People don’t realize that desire is an emotion because one can be seen as acting normal, however it influences us. When the desire is alleviated even briefly, one can realize the wrong decisions he has made and the time he wasted. The frightening aspect about desire even a most influential friend with sound advice may not be able to get through because his message will be blocked.

Why is 13 the age of bar mitzvah?

March 23, 2016 Rabbi Avi Matmon Uncategorized No comments

Why is 13 the age of bar mitzvah?

Receiving the Torah is no simple matter. You have to be ready. You have to believe that he can take the responsibility, you have to believe that you can take on the task of the 613 commandments; it’s important to believe in yourself that you can do it no matter what!! Otherwise, without that “vote of confidence” within you, your resolve will just wither away. You have to say: I was born a Jew and therefore it is ingrained in me to perform what is required, to receive and pass the tradition of our ancestors.

In this week’s parsha we see how G-d injects that vote of confidence to his people. Just fifty days prior to the giving of the Torah, they were slaves. They had no self-worth. It is a tremendous psychologically hurdle to ‘jump’ from the lowest part of society to the highest, to be the “king of the hill”, to reach the point where every nation is looking at you in awe and fear. Yet, G-d does it. How did G-d bolster their vote of confidence?

(Shemot 19, 6) “You shall be to me a kingdom of ministers and a holy nation.” G-d is elevating them from slaves to kings. When a person see’s himself as “significant”, then he will be more confident and thus accept the Torah. This past week our family celebrated the bar mitzvah of our oldest son Yaacov. Similarly, just like our ancestors made the significant jump in accepting the Torah and all the trimmings of being a Jew, a bar mitzvah boy also accepts responsibility in accepting the Torah, mitzvot and all the trimmings of being a Jew.

But there is a looming question. Why is 13 the age where one crosses the threshold of taking on such responsibilities? Does a bar mitzvah boy have the self-confidence to take upon himself the commandments?

Let us explore this concept. The age 13 is around the time when most young adults typically begin to physically mature and reach puberty. Additionally, when a boy turns 13, they are considered to have reached the “age of maturity,” a time when they have developed enough understanding to be responsible for their actions. Therefore, he is called bar mitzvah, which literally means a “son of the commandment,” or a “man obligated to do mitzvahs,” since he is now responsible for keeping the Torah and its mitzvoth. Some explain that, like most other halachic measurements (Jewish law), the fact that the age of maturity is 13 is simply an oral tradition that G d imparted to Moses on Mount Sinai (commonly called Halachah L’Moshe MiSinai).2

There is, in fact, another source from where we know the origin of when maturity, and self-confidence with it, kicks in. The age of da’at-the ability to make decisions is derived from Genesis 34:25, in the Torah’s account of the destruction of the city of Shechem by Shimon and Levi, two of the twelve tribes, in retaliation for the rape of their sister, Dinah. The verse reads: “On the third day… Jacob’s two sons, Shimon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each man took his sword, and confidently attacked the city…” The term “man” (ish) is used to refer to both brothers, the younger of whom, Levi, was exactly thirteen years old at the time.1 Thus we derive that the Torah considers a male of thirteen years to be a “man.”2

However this is a strange way to derive the laws of maturity, patience, and knowledge. Shimon and Levi’s act seems hardly the best example of da’at; Yaacov denounced their actions.3 4 Yaacov’s disproval was amplified when at his deathbed he proclaimed. “Let my soul not enter their council….Their anger is mighty….I will separate them”. This was a harsh statement which Yaccov conveyed to his sons. Yet this is the event that the Torah chooses to teach us the age of reason, maturity, responsibility and commitment to the fulfillment of the mitzvot! Does that make sense?!

We know from life’s experiences that nothing is what it seems. Their actions, although brutal for Jewish standards, while not outwardly approved, received much support among the commentaries and, for that matter, the Torah itself. Yaacov himself did not actually denounce their act, he merely disapproved at the way they did it. Remarkably if we read the verses carefully, the Torah describes a positive reason for their action when we are told “they were distressed” the Torah adds “because an abomination had been done in Israel”. In regard to the trickery, the Torah adds “because he had defiled their sister”. And it notes the same thing in regard to their looting. And as to Yaacov, who complained that they were too hasty, the Torah ends with Levi and Shimon’s reply to Yaacov being “Shall our sister then be made a harlot!”. These statements all come to stress that where there is chillul Hashem – disgrace of G-d, one does not take into account one ‘s subjective matters.

Rabbi Samson Rafael Hirsh strengthens this idea further “Had we not been Jews, the inhabitants of the land would have never permitted themselves to act this way! Only to respect to the Jews do they think everything is permissible and that they can do whatever they want without fear and punishment”

Or Hachaim adds “On the contrary, we will be in greater danger among the nations if they see a single despicable person rule over the daughter of Yaacov and did as he wishes and desired. Now that we responded, the nations will be petrified and will fear us” The Lubavitcher Rebbi answers: As Shimon and Levi replied to Jacob5, the situation that prompted their action did not allow them the luxury of rational consideration, or of its consequences. The integrity of Israel was at stake, and the brothers of Dinah could give no thought to their own person–not to the jeopardy of their physical lives, or to the jeopardy of their spiritual selves by the violence and impropriety of their deed. In the end, their instinctive reaction, coming from the deepest place in their souls–deeper than reason, deeper than all self-consideration–was validated; G d approved their deed and came to their assistance”.6

Now that we have validated the brothers’ actions, let us attempt to understand the nature of Shechem. In so doing we will understand why 13 is the age of self-confidence.

Every word in the Hebrew language is not just a label, but describes the essence of its subject. The word shechem means “segment” or “portion” describes both the person shechem and the place. Each person in Shechem wanted his own portion in life to be significant and not just part of a larger entity. Shechem was a place that influenced its dwellers and those who came traveled to and through it its perimeters would feel that heighten importance and worthiness.

This trait heralds tremendous power. It could be the greatest and worst of all attributes. On the good side the individual is exhorted by Chazzal “the whole world was created just for him”. The feeling of personal worth in this content is extremely valuable in the mitzvah system especially one entering Torah and mitzvoth!! The down side is, however, one can be very destructive. A person who misuses this characteristic becomes completely self-oriented; he feels he must stand up for his principles whatever cost. Arrogance is his game he becomes completely beyond any rebuke or correction. This is the age, bar mitzvah, when one enters da’at-knowledge where it’s vital for a boy to develop a strong sense of personal worth. It’s an age where one leaves the toys behind and starts to appreciate adult topics. For the most part, it’s a very vulnerable time and a jolt of confidence, a jolt of Shechem is needed to build self-confidence, self-esteem to formulate a healthy adult mind. These are the tools that a young adult needs to go out in this world, to do mitzvoth, to be a someone, and to make for himself a portion.

Freedom of Choice

King David was quoted as praising Yitro, Moshe’s father-in-law, as a very smart man who has a tremendous insight into G-d and was able to fully comprehend the miraculous events that occurred to the Israelites. This was evident by some of the definitions of his seven names, in which Rashi and many commentaries say he was called by. What was it about Yitro, which impressed David and warranted such praise?

It’s only natural in a successful marriage that more and more matrimonial matches spurt up between the two sides; Moshe’s nephew, Elazar, marries one of Yitro’s daughters. But what’s odd when we are introduced and informed of the union, is Rashi’s description of Potiel, the father of the bride, Yitro’s other name; he describes a man “who fattened calves for idolatry” and “from the seed of Yosef who conquered his passion”. Now I understand the compliment of the comparison to Yosef, that’s very nice; however, why bring up “he fattened calves”? It’s very demeaning not just for Yitro but for Elazar as well. One can only imagine the mazal tov section of the weekly Synagogue newsletter stating ‘Mr. and Mrs. Potiel, the ones who fattened calves for idolatry.’ It doesn’t have a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

In this week’s Parsha, our ancestors received the Torah and we read the Ten Commandments. One has to ask, why did G-d emphasize these ten as opposed too many others he could have mentioned? Furthermore, G-d wanted to give it to the other nation as well; but His reply to their question of what’s in it, always played on their weakness. For example, to the Arabs he emphasized ‘do not steal’; to Edom, ‘do not kill’; G-d knew perfectly well that it would be difficult for them.

Rabbi Oelbaum says that the fundamental importance of the Torah is to enable us to overcome and do the opposite of our nature, to break the one aspect of our personality that we have a tough time overcoming. This is the primary goal of life.

Perhaps this is what G-d intended when approaching the nations and asking, are you ready to accept for real, and therefore you would have to eradicate stealing or murder or what ever weakness one has.

Rav Eliyahu Lopian teaches an important awareness of freedom of choice. This is an important aspect of man. However, one should know the definition of freedom of choice is not that one can do whatever he wants. If that was so, what is man’s superiority over animals? They too can do whatever they want. The definition of freedom of choice is that he’s able to choose himself and go against his nature, against his natural instincts and animals cannot do this.

Perhaps this is the greatness of Yitro; his weakness was idol worship to an extent where he couldn’t control himself. However, he was able to persevere and see G-d where many couldn’t. We must bring another definition of Potiel and that is ‘sheniftar me-avoda-zara’, he was able to disassociate, break off from idol worship.

These Ten Commandments were chosen because they are the fundamental building blocks of the Torah, of life. If we strengthen our character traits and not get sucked in like a magnet, we would have done our duty and we would be able to exercise our true freedom of choice.

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