Tag Archive for Bar Mitzvah

Parshat Pekudei

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Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Pekudei

March 3, 2011

27 Adar I, 5771

 Dear Friend,

The one place and time where I got to know my family was at the Shabbat Friday night dinner table. Shabbat was family time. It was the centerpiece of the week where we sang Shabbat Zmirot, had discussions, and exchanged Divrei Torah (Torah insights) on the Parasha (weekly portion). The goal of this newsletter is to provide a Torah thought and some insights into our Jewish world.

Today, we have the opportunity to receive a smorgasbord of Torah information at our fingertips. If one is able to remember life before the internet, access to attain Torah information was limited. With the progress of the internet, thank G-d we have countless choices of information to feed our souls.

 

n This Issue
Respect of Privacy
Marble Cake

Respect of Privacy

 

Privacy

 

 In this week’s Parasha (Torah reading), many details are given about the Mishkan (tabernacle) and the high priest’s attire. We learn that there are many interesting items that the kohen gadol is required to wear. One in particular are bells (pa’amonim). Why is G-d requiring the high priest to wear bells? It’s hard to imagine the priest walking towards the kodesh hakodoshim, the special concealed room where he prays for life for the Jewish people on Yom Kippur, dingiling along.

Why are bells part of the wardrobe? “Respect” is one of the reasons the commentaries give. Respect? Respect for what? It seems quite the opposite. One would be causing a tremendous annoyance walking with noisy bells rattling. The kohen gadol is a very respected person in the Jewish nation. He’s not a goat! But the bells are deemed not less important then the rest of the items in the Mishkan. We learn a valuable lesson from these bells. The kohen gadol should not enter the kodesh hakadashim unannounced. G-d requires the high priest to ring the bell before entering His special home. It’s as if he’s ringing the doorbell and asking G-d, “May I come in”? Some commentaries say this is the original source for ringing a doorbell before entering one’s house.

We see the importance of privacy and kavod. One should show sensitivity to respecting one’s space, and in this case, G-d’s space. Privacy is deeply rooted in Judaism. The giving of the Torah is often compared to a husband and wife, which is equivalent to G-d and the Jewish people. One of the most important aspects of building a couple’s bond is strengthening the intimacy between them. It’s not a coincidence the Torah was given in the desert. Just like in the desert, G-d and the Jews were left alone, so too, should a couple be given their privacy.

Dr. Goldman, a psychologist, working at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim says, “A person being violated of their privacy is affected in a tremendous way. It’s built into the human psyche, the non-tolerance of intrusion. Therefore, a person’s dignity is compromised and he feels defensive, affecting ones self-esteem. A person feels not worthy of being treated with dignity.”

It’s a big problem today with family members-relatives who think they have a 24/7 green light to enter the confines of someone’s home. People should show sensitivity in not violating their fellow’s space and to give ample warning of visitation and wait for permission for entrance. The various items found in the mishkan and on the kohen gadol’s clothing are symbolic of man’s creativity. The pa’amonim (bells) are man’s ability to achieve the highest level of creativity through privacy.

Marble Cake
 Marble Cake

One of the staples in a synagogue – besides Kiddush wine – is “marble cake”. This is universal, whether it’s Sephardic, Ashkenazi or even Bukarian. We know a hamotzi or mezonot is needed for the requirement of a meal. Therefore, you will always find cake at happy occasions to fulfill this mission. According to our sages, human nature shows tremendous favoritism when we are introduced to something for the first time. Perhaps that’s why childhood experiences are vital in understanding a person’s actions, because the inception makes a huge impression and shapes his future. Possibly, that’s why Jewish law forbids testimony of one party while the other is not present. The judge tends to favor the first words he hears. For me, there definitely is an association between marble cake and childhood, whether it is in synagogue or mom’s weekly shopping indulgence at our favorite bakery. I could not wait to tear open the rectangular white box containing that delicious chocolate frosted marble cake.

Furthermore, Bar Mitzvah celebrations in our elementary school consisted of a tradition of going from class to class with a box of marble cake and a bottle of scotch. The proud Bar Mitzvah boy offered a l’chaim to the Rabbi in a little shot glass with a piece of marble cake. We all watched as the rabbi dunked the piece of marble cake into the scotch and ate it. The scent resulting from the cake-scotch combination would make us hungry. Every time there is a Kiddush today, the first order of business is scotch and marble cake. Those of you who were with us last week learned the concept of ikar-main food, and tofel- secondary. The mezonot (cake, main food) is considered more important than shehakol (scotch, secondary). Therefore, one would only say the blessing mezonot. Scotch is considered a precious commodity by many – including yours truly. Regardless of these strong feelings, it is secondary in the case of the dunking.

Today, when we are yearning for that marble cake taste of yesteryear or perhaps when one has developed a more mature taste, one would wonder where they can satisfy that particular craving. For starters, there’s excellent marble cake at Kaffs Bakery in Williamsburg, Brooklyn; Ostrovitsky’s Bakery in Flatbush; or Queens Pita on Main St. Whether chocolate frosting is on their marble cake or not, it is amazing. I’m sure there are many others that we missed. If there are others, an email would be appreciated.

My parents often took pride in their Bukarian hospitality as being the best. Visiting other ethnic Jewish communities over the years, I find them also boasting that their hospitality is the best. So much for cultural superiority; for many Jews, hospitality and Shabbat go hand and hand. When the marble cake makes its entrance after a four course Shabbat meal, do we make a bracha on the cake?

Cakes serve as a dual function. It could be eaten as a dessert or snack in order to satisfy one’s desire for sweets. However, cakes are also often eaten to satisfy one’s appetite. Accordingly, if cakes are eaten for dessert, a bracha should be required. But if cake is eaten for satiation, a bracha is not required. There is however, another consideration; there are some mezonot that fall under the category of bread, so no bracha is necessary. It is important to note every community has slightly different laws and one should ask their local Rabbi.

Shabbat Shalom.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience