Tag Archive for Guests

Are You a Good Host?

 

   

 

A ritual is performed by the unlucky elders of the city, after an unidentified dead body was found on their side of the border. They measure which city is the body closest too.  They then, kill a calf; this is followed by as many as a hundred members from the city who witnessed the ritual wash their hands and proclaim, “Our hands have not shed this blood and our eyes have not seen the deed.”

 

But why are the townspeople to blame?

 

One of the mainstream commentaries, Rashi, says that perhaps the host where he stayed did not give him food to eat or was not MELAVEH – escort him – outside. Although one can argue the host was stingy, not giving him food to eat, or lazy to give kavod by escorting, nevertheless, the townspeople can argue, “We didn’t kill him. Why are we responsible?” Rabbi Baruch Dopelt says we really can answer it through just plain old logic and say, well, if he would have been fed properly, perhaps he would have had the energy to fight off his attacker; food can have a wondrous effect. That solves the food issue, however, what about the MELAVEH – escorting someone. What benefit is there, or what would the deceased have gained by the host walking him four steps?

 

One should also take note, funeral in Hebrew is LEVAYA, which is the same root as MELAVEH. We are escorting the dead to his last resting place. At the funeral, there are many important rituals. Why is LEVAYA the title that is used for the funeral and not HESPED – eulogy? We know it’s quite important to say nice words about the dead.

 

We observe something interesting from our mother Leah, who was not Yaacov’s favorite wife. She always prayed that her husband should find favor with her. When Levi was born she said, “Now my husband will escort me (ve’liva). The word LIVA means to connect, attachment. She was saying we will walk and we’ll connect. When someone walks together, each person is connected to the other and each inherit the other’s KOACH – strength. Apparently, it’s a big mitzvah to host. The owner does kindness, and when he walks the guest out four steps, the guest inherits that positive energy of the host’s merit of kindness. So the host feels good; he feels self-confident. The guest is going to leave and be protected with your strength.

 

This concept also works the other way. Pharaoh was very clever; when the Jews left Egypt, the scripture says he escorted them. Pharaoh had negative powers. He intentionally wanted to attach to the Jews to his evil, so later they will be prone to sin.

At a funeral, the reason why many people escort the dead is they want to attach as much merits to the dead, so the deceased could go up and be judged in favor.

 

If a guest leaves your house and you escort him, your merits will be attached to him and it will give him strength. He will be protected from any dangers that lies ahead. This is the host’s last act of kindness, the finishing touch that he can do to his guest.