Tag Archive for King Shlomo

Mysticism or just not getting involved

August 28, 2015 Uncategorized No comments
This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Jay Shapiro, Baruch Dopelt, Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilius and Dr. Abba Goldman
Many people don’t like surprises. It’s nice to know a few steps in advance what to expect from this wonderful life. Preparation is the key to get ahead in this tough world. Perhaps that is why a kabbalist is so popular in this day and age. Perhaps that’s why he can command premium prices. They give us the “inside scoop what lies ahead”. Well, I guess some of the time. Their percentage of being correct is roughly a bit more than half on the average. So what is all the hoopla of “a little bit more than average?” Well, that edge can make a major difference. Life is all about percentages.
However, there is a big time contradicting view to this insider trading philosophy. We learn a very famous concept in this week’s parsha.
The pasuk [verse] teaches, “You shall be innocent (tamim) with the L-rd your G-d” [Devarim 18:13]. Rashi interprets: Walk with Him with innocence (temimut) and accept what He has in store for you; do not try to divine the future; accept what the Almighty gives you with perfect faith.
Thus, after the Torah warns us not to follow those who predict the future in verses 10-11, we are then told to be perfect in our faith that the future is in G-d’s hands, rather than seeking fortune-tellers who are not always correct.
But, isn’t that what we strive for? Our Rabbis explicitly say we have to do hishtadlut-effort! It’s wrong to sit back and expect G-d to deliver. We have to use our know how to produce in the optimal way. Many Jews are born salesmen. The first phrase they utter in the delivery room, after they come into this world, is “how much per carat?” (Referring to the Jewelry business terminology: inciting a business transaction). We have a competitive nature. As a matter of fact, some Jews don’t realize the advantage of learning Torah for an extended period. Many of the ultra-Orthodox, as they are labeled, send their sons to Yeshiva to learn well into their late twenties for a very good reason. Yes, it’s important that they have to learn traits which there are many programs where these Yeshiva boys go to college at night earning a degree, besides learning a primary lesson how to be sensitive to others; they also develop certain sharpness and quick thinking where they’re able to solve tough equations from constantly learning the Talmud. There is a competitive nature that’s developed in the study hall. It’s in our genes to rise to the top, to come up head. What’s the expression: “sharp minds – sharp products”. So we’re always looking for the advantage and if we have the means, the palm reader, forehead reader, name reader, why not take it!!

ARE THE KABALISTS OR EXTRA TERRESTRIAL INCITERS FOR REAL?

It seems like the Rishonim (the highest and the elders level of Sages) believe there is truth to these powers whether it be kosher or not, meaning weather it come from a source of kedusha (holiness) or Tumah (impurity). Even today, most of the mainstream respected Rabbi agrees that to some degree these powers exist.

WHAT IS THE EXACT TRANSLATION OF THE WORD TAMIM?
The word tamim has appeared on numerous occasions in the Torah up to this point, and its translation is always “perfect.” For example, we find in numerous instances that the Torah requires a sacrifice to be tamim, which means perfect and without blemish. Furthermore, we also find that the word tamim suggests a perfection of character: Noach is described as a tamim, one who was perfect in his dedication to G-d, and Avraham is told by G-d, “Come close to Me in worship and be perfect (tamim).”
Why, then, did Rashi veer from this interpretation (which is suggested by Ramban) in our verse, and write instead that tamim means, “Walk with Him simple-heartedly”?
Is the translation of tamim – perfect or is it whole hearted?
Furthermore, we learn how the Torah famously describes our forefather Yaakov and his brother Eisav. “The children grew up and Eisav became a man who knew hunting, a man of the field, and Yaakov was a simple man who sat in the tents.
When the Torah describes Yaakov as a simple person, is that a form of praise or criticism?
When Yaakov steals the blessings, his own father describes the act as cunning (b’mirmah). Was Yaakov simple or was he cunning?

At the Pesach Seder, the third son is the Tam, the simple son. How does he compare to Yaakov?

How does the Tam that we meet at the seder differ from the Torah’s description of Yaakov as “ish tam”?

At that moment [when Eisav found out that Yaakov received the blessings] Eisav began to scream: Come and see what this “tam” did! [He is “tam”] as the Torah states “And Yaakov was a simple man (tam) who sat in the tents.” Is it not enough that he made a fool of me about the fact that I sold the birthright? He now took my blessings! (Devarim Rabbah)

Those who think that one can swindle or fool the simple are mistaken because one who is simple in the path of truth is a worthy opponent to any cheater. Yaakov, our forefather, about whom the Torah testified that he is a “simple man who sat in the tents,” and who embodied the trait of truth, as it states “give truth to Yaakov,” was a worthy opponent to Lavan – the cheater in his swindling. (R. Yechezkel Sarna, Haggadah Shel Pesach Chevron, Knesset Yisrael)

So we see being whole hearted simpleton doesn’t necessarily mean being naive, but how is a tam’s personality defined?
In just a few weeks we, Jews, will be judged by G-d, for the coming year. As we know Yom Kipur is not the final verdict. There is still another chance. At the end of Succot we stay up all night and pray and learn for those precious last moments which can make it or break it in the book of life. The night is called Hoshana Rabba. It’s a custom of the Sephardim and Chassidim… There is a difference of opinions as to what the source of this custom. One source is frankly mind boggling to say the least. It says in the Torah “yom hachitim” day of harvest, however, it should be read “yom hachatoom” the day of the signing.
The custom back in the days was at midnight our ancestors would go into the field and from the reflection of the moon would see their shadow. Now get this: if the shadow had a head – their prayers would be accepted and if their shadows did not……pack your bags!!
Incredibly this originates from a very credible Torah source. Although I suggest you don’t try this at home, or your back yard for that matter. Interestingly when the spies came back and gave a bad report and the people panicked as result of their negative statement; Kalev, one of the two spies that came back with a good report, the other Yehoshua ben Nun, said SAR TZILAM M’ALEHEM-their protection has departed from them. Don’t worry G-d has removed protection from the seven nations. TZILEM means shadow.
Why don’t we do this today? Why don’t we all open our back porch door and find our shadow and hope it’s got a head…YIKES!! It’s not recommended for we don’t exactly know how to interpret the shadow and its angles. Are we are performing it correctly?
At times it’s dangerous reading or following the advice of the supernatural. There is a famous story in the Talmud:

The Midrash teaches that the wise king knew the language of the birds (sichas haTziparim). A person came to Shlomo HaMelech and asked that Shlomo HaMelech teach him this language. At first, the king refused but the man pestered him until he finally relented and taught him sichas haTziparim. The fellow was then walking in the field and heard two birds talking with one another. One bird told the other “You see this fellow; his entire flock of cattle are going to die within the next couple of weeks.” The man went home and immediately sold his entire flock of cattle at the very first opportunity. Lo and behold, two weeks later the entire flock died. The man avoided a major financial setback!
Sometime later, the man was again walking in the field and heard one bird tell another that the fellow they saw was going to have his house and everything therein burn down within two weeks. Again, he sold his house and all his possessions lock stock and barrel. Sure enough, two weeks later the house burned to the ground. Again, he avoided catastrophe!
When he next went out to the field, he heard one bird tell the other that the fellow near them was going to drop dead the following week. He then went back to Shlomo HaMelech and desperately asked for his advice what to do. Shlomo HaMelech said “I told you that I did not want to teach you the language of the birds! You did something terribly wrong and G-d wanted to give you a punishment. He was going to punish you through the death of your cattle. However, you “outsmarted Him” and found out – through the birds – how to avoid that punishment. The punishment would have been for your benefit – that financial setback would have shaken you up and forced you to repent and amend your ways.
Then the Almighty was going to get you to do Teshuva by burning your house down, but again you avoided the tragedy and hence the opportunity to repent. Your sins however now remain and the only option that you left the Almighty is to bring about your death as punishment for those sins.

Aside from second guessing one’s decision which can drive a person bananas there is a simple explanation not to follow the mystical route.

The Ramban says there is legitimacy to some of these astrologists and their hokas pocas highfalutin stuff, however, the reason we don’t follow and listen is because of a fundamental concept. Jews can change their mazal. It might be difficult but it can be done. Avraham and Sarah could not have children, that was their mazal, however, with prayer, teshuva and tzedaka, sounds familiar, we scream and plead that statement during the high holidays prayers: We can change our verdict!! The other nations of the world cannot!
This is a very important point; we can change!! How many people do you know who had some deficit in their lives and prayed or taken upon themselves a mitzvah and saw positive changes in their lives?
However, the human psyche is such that if we are told something negative we fall into despair and think “that’s it” – it’s final. Nevertheless that’s not so, some of the mazal can be changed. In fact some of the negative mazal can be changed rather easier than others. Nevertheless the damage has been done for we feel we are doomed… This despair will lead us not to follow the proper protocol and duty we have as Jews which is prayer and good deeds. This entail will fight the negative decree and overturn the verdict… One loses focus that our bread is always buttered by G-d and the methods of change that He provides. However, we don’t take Him up on it. This knowledge from the astrologist or more legitimate Kabbalist is better not known for our own sake; it’s counterproductive. The hidden secret is better hidden. If one thinks they can manage with the hidden truth, even though it’s not so accurate to begin with, hey! By all means, go for it! However, the Sages want to protect us and preserve the proper and optimal channels to G-d.
On Pesach we read about the four sons. There is a general opinion that the rasha-evil one is on one side; opposite him is the Chacham-smart one. Under the chacham there is the Tam and “the one who doesn’t know how to ask”. So we have the chacham, then dumb and dumber. Interestingly there is an opinion that suggests that opposite the rasha is in fact the tam. The Tam doesn’t ask; he takes it the way it is. He is pure, there are no questions. He’s not like the rasha a pure cynic. He is not a fool. He doesn’t need to ask questions, everything is clear. The tam heads no complaints, he is perfectly happy with his lot. It seems like we’re painting a perfect picture. He is shalem-complete; Shalem is the same word as shalom-peace. Ironically, this is the description of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai – the granddaddy of mysticism.

It’s a difficult question to answer, for everyone is different. If one is clever enough to walk the fine line between a touch of mysticism and practicality – kol hakavod to him. However, if one is of the personality that can get sucked into a web and get tangled where he’s running to the kabbalist for every nick and cranny, that’s a recipe for disaster. Then perhaps we should take the advice of the pasuk and follow the Torah as is!

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

December 9, 2014 Uncategorized No comments

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

this article was constructed from the insights of Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt, Rosh Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim, Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus

Each one of us had a favorite teacher who had a great deal of influence on us. Some actually had more than a few teachers over the years that fall under that “favorite” category. When we look back, with a certain fondness about them, a memorable smile breaks out.
However, one has to ask himself, has this person actually made a difference when a crucial decision came into play? Were they there, in our conscience, when the game was on the line? Was their teaching tested and we were able to take their words of wisdom to the finish line and declare “I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”?

YOSEF THE DREAMER

In this week’s parsha, we find Yosef telling over to his brothers the dreams he had. The Torah’s description of the dreams and the reaction of Yosef’s brothers are quite puzzling.
First and foremost, to say his brothers weren’t exactly thrilled about him and his dreams would be considered a huge understatement. They were contemplating killing him as a result.
But there is a substantial lesson that can be learned from this story that is applicable in our everyday life. Let’s examine the verses more carefully and get a deeper understanding.
The first dream that Yosef had involves sheaves. Yosef tells his brothers that their sheaves gathered around and bowed down to his sheaves.
The second dream was basically the same theme; Yosef revealed to them that the sun and the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.
The brothers were angry and responded to the first dream by saying “Do you want to rule over us?” while there was no response from them after the second one.
The Torah states that the brothers hated him after the first dream was revealed while the scripture says the brothers were jealous after the second one.
Why was the reaction to each dream any different from the other?
What’s the difference between the two dreams?
Referring to the second dream it says “His father took it to heart”.
Why did his father take the second dream more serious?
In the first sequence about sheaves or stalks as its focal point, the scripture is hinting to a materialistic dominance. Its message, for the future, is that the brothers will depend on Yosef for their sustenance.
When someone sees his friend that’s financially more stable then he, he often questions why this is so. “He’s not better than me. We’re the same in many ways. Perhaps that’s just plain old mazal.” However, human nature is for hatred to develop as a result
The brothers knew that dreams for the most part are a reflection of the sub-conscience. They concluded, “This is what he’s thinking of us. He wants to be our boss”.
The brothers, though, took the second dream a bit more serious. The scenario of the sun, moon and the stars is a spiritual concept. Here, they realized that it’s not a reflection of the sub-conscience but a spiritual revelation. Therefore they were jealous of Yosef’s motivational and spiritual abilities. There is a Talmudic concept of SHTIKA KEH HODA’A – silence is a form of admittance.
Yaakov, their father, although he did not admit it, was startled by the second dream. The reason is that only Yaakov knew that in the heavens they referred to him as the sun.

It seams like the Torah is hinting that Yosef possessed certain abilities, which perhaps came through personal teachings from his father, as a gift from the heavens, or a combination of both. Apparently, life is such that the narrative will soon reveal that this gifted person will soon be tested.

In order to fully understand the magnitude of Yosef’s test, we have to examine a very interesting part of our Jewish history.
Yeush was born in the midst of troublesome days in the land of Judea, in the year 3055 (after Creation). He became king at the age of six!! (3061). The Jewish nation was divided into two kingdoms. On the throne, which once belonged to King David and King Solomon, sat a ruthless and cruel queen. Her name was Athalya, the daughter of Queen Jezebel, the Phoenician princess whom the wicked King Ahab of the Northern Jewish Kingdom of the Ten Tribes had married. In an effort to bring the two Jewish kingdoms into friendlier relations, the two royal houses intermarried. The crown prince Joram, the son of King Jehoshaphat of Judea, married Athalyah the daughter of Ahab and Jezebel.
After many heavy, underhanded, dirty and deadly maneuvering, Athalyah took control of the Monarch. One of her decree’s to assure she will rule undisputedly was that she resolved that there should be no heir to the throne of Judea from the House of David. She ordered the death of all the members of the royal house of King David, and established herself as the supreme ruler of the land of Judea. She surrounded herself with friends from Phoenicia and ruled with an iron hand, spreading a reign of terror in the land.
Athalyah felt secure in her position, believing that the royal house of David was extinct. But she was wrong, for G-d had promised that the line of King David would never be broken. Ahaziah’s youngest son, whom Athalyah had believed had been murdered with the other male members of the royal family, had been saved from his bloodthirsty grandmother. He was still a baby, and his name was Yeush. He was saved by Jehosheba, a sister of King Ahaziah and the wife of the High Priest Yehoyada. Astonishingly, the one year old prince was hidden in the Bet Hamikdash, above a room by the “Kodash Hakadoshim” and brought up, secretly, by his pious and G-d fearing uncle and aunt.
For six years Athalyah ruled uncontrolled, dealing harshly with the believers in G-d. During all this time, Yehoyada, the wise and pious High Priest, nursed in his heart the secret hope for the future of his people that was centered around the last member of David’s dynasty. Yehoyada had many friends and followers, who, like himself, had remained faithful to the pure worship of G-d, and who longed for the day when the hateful Athalyah could be overthrown, and the House of David reinstated on the throne of the Holy Land.
When little Yeush was seven years old, Yehoyada decided that the time had come to liberate Judea from the unpopular foreign woman who had desecrated the throne of David.
The coup attempt was successful with no resistance whatsoever. Athalya was executed and Yeush became king. He reigned for forty years, and was one of the outstanding kings of Judea.
However, after Yehoyada died, Yeush fell under the influence of the wrong people and was led astray into a life of ease and luxury. He abandoned the pure worship of One G-d, and began to indulge in the service of the Baal. Yeush fell so low that shockingly he killed the great Prophet Zacharia, who happened to be the son of Yehoyada, the same person who saved his life, the one who had nurtured, taught and cared for him through the years!!
How can you bite the hand that feeds you?
How can Yeush fall so low after the death of his teacher?
We see a similar situation after the death of Shimi ben Gaira the teacher and mentor of the wisest man who ever lived, King Shlomo. Shlomo began to slip and make errors in judgment after his death.
We learn a valuable lesson about communication and teaching. There are basically two ways one can convey the valuable message:
LEHOROT- giving instructions
LILMOD- teaching until one stands on his/her own two feet
It’s not ideal to memorize the manual one has to understand the content.
Yosef was tested with one of the most difficult situations in the history of physical temptations. He was being seduced, unsuccessfully though, with the beautiful wife of his employer on a daily basis.
The boss’s wife, eshet Potifar, would up the ante at every occasion until it reached a boiling point where she forcefully tried to have relations with him. Yosef at the moment of truth envisioned his father, his teacher. This motivated, or I should say distracted, him from pursuing sinning with a married woman.

Yaakov successfully taught Yosef the valuable lesson of standing on his own feet. It’s not enough to be gifted. One has to use these skills properly. This is the spiritual greatness of Yosef.
There was a huge epidemic where many Jews were killed at the time of King David because he counted the people. For this reason we have a tradition to never count individual Jews. The Sages teach us that the reason there was death and suffering was because the Temple wasn’t built during David’s time.
Why is it the people’s fault? It was David that had blood on his hands and G-d wouldn’t allow him to build it. Why blame the people?
The Sages say, “Granted. David wasn’t worthy. However the people were. The nation of Israel delayed the building. They should have voiced their opinion ” Why don’t we have a temple?”.and “Let’s start a petition!!” ” They should have began some grass roots. One friend persuading another and perhaps one farmer from the Galil would be responsible in starting the building process.
Rav Henoch always would say “There is permission in one not using his brains”. It’s imperative that a Jew internalizes what he learns and who knows? Perhaps one may discover a way to bring the Mashiach quicker.
There was a college Professor who relayed a story that many years ago there was a psychological case study of inner-city ghetto schools where they would interview 200 students. The motive of the test was to predict, through mathematical analysis, the outcome of these students. As one can expect, many of the student came from broken, one-parent homes.
The result wasn’t very promising that these students would amount to anything.
Twenty years later, this Professor, who happened to be one of those students, was curious to know how these students turned out.
After an extensive research of tracking them down He was astonished to discover how off the mark the study was. 80% of the students were living a productive life.
The professor decided to probe deeper into how these students beat the odds. He interviewed each one and found a common denominator, which was one particular teacher that they all liked.
He was curious to meet this teacher, although twenty years latter he didn’t think she was still alive. Nevertheless after researching further he tracked her down at a particular nursing home. She was in her eighties. The professor went to visit the teacher. He asked her “What was your key to success?” She said “I tried to instill in them a sense of self. I had a motivating slogan “No matter what, you can do it”. These students and Yosef had this in common. They can honestly say that the influence their teachers had on them made a difference, especially when it counted. They can say with full assurance “”I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”

Emet-The Truth

January 20, 2014 G-d and Us, Jewish Values, MUSSAR HASKEL/ A Lesson No comments
 
This article was constructed with the help of Rabbis Baruch Dopelt, Mayer Glasser, Yossi Bilus and Dr. Robert Goldman, and excerpts from the writing of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz

One meets a variety of characters throughout one’s lifetime. In this week’s parsha, Toldot, the topic of EMET, truth, is presented. Every time we read this portion, I am reminded of one individual I knew in the jewelry business. He is an energetic fellow who knew how to make a buck, however he would always use this sacred word, EMET, very loosely. Some of the typical expressions he would say are:

” I bought the gem stones at a high price, EMET. I cannot sell you at a lower one; I will lose money!” “Those are the merchandise that my customer is looking for however the price is way too high. EMET. It’s not very competitive.” Or, with a chuckle he would sneer and say  “How can you have purchased it at that amount?  I can get it from others cheaper, EMET. Do you, seriously, want to make the sale?”

“EMET, I will pay you in 30 days ”

 

Does this guy sound familiar?
Regarding this fellow, we can apply the old expression: It is always good policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar, EMET!! 

Interestingly enough, we learn many lessons about the truth from our holy Torah. Here are some points that it would be wise to take notice of:

The Sages say, King Shlomo was the smartest man that ever lived and the most famous incident that everybody always points out is the case with the two prostitutes and the baby:

“16) Now two prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. 17)One of them said, “Pardon me, my lord. This woman and I live in the same house, and I had a baby while she was there with me. 18) The third day after my child was born, this woman also had a baby. We were alone; there was no one in the house but the two of us.
19) “During the night this woman’s son died because she lay on him. 20) So she got up in the middle of the night and took my son from my side while I your servant was asleep. She put him by her breast and put her dead son by my breast. 21) The next morning, I got up to nurse my son-and he was dead! But when I looked at him closely in the morning light, I saw that it wasn’t the son I had borne.”
22) The other woman said, “No! The living one is my son; the dead one is yours.”
But the first one insisted, “No! The dead one is yours; the living one is mine.” And so they argued before the king.
23) The king said, “This one says, ‘My son is alive and your son is dead,’ while that one says, ‘No! Your son is dead and mine is alive.'”
24) Then the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So they brought a sword for the king. 25) He then gave an order: “Cut the living child in two and give half to one and half to the other.”
26) The woman whose son was alive was deeply moved out of love for her son and said to the king, “Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don’t kill him!”
But the other said, “Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!”
27) Then the king gave his ruling: “Give the living baby to the first woman. Do not kill him; she is his mother.”

 
Perhaps a mother has more mercy for her own child, however……

Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz asks “One does not need to be a rocket scientist to figure out who the mother was in the King Shlomo/prostitute case. What was the clue’s that Shlomo saw that gave it away?”

 

Shlomo was a master in human nature. There is a concept in the Torah, AVEIRA GORERET AVEIRA, one sin leads to more sins. What typically happens, at times, for the most part, is that one follows the first sins with more severe sins.

 

This woman did not tell the truth and now she is ready to commit murder. Shlomo foresaw that. Rav Chaim rationalized that perhaps the other woman(not the mother) could have had mercy on the child as well. Or perhaps the woman was a good actress and played the sympathy part very well. The fact that the woman agreed to murder the child implicates her; it brings “not telling the truth” to the surface.

The Gemara asks a question on verse 27.  Why did Shlomo say “give the baby to the first mother” as the opening to his verdict? Why didn’t he emphatically proclaim right away that “AHH!! SHE IS HIS MOTHER!” instead?
Why didn’t he commit?
In fact the Sages say the last statement “she is the mother” was not Shlomo’s but a heavenly voice proclaiming that indeed she is the mother.
A valuable lesson is learned about the EMET, truth:
Unless you are 100% sure, one cannot state it as fact. Shlomo, with all his wisdom, was perhaps 99% sure. However, he was not there at the scene. Shlomo was very careful about EMET and all its implications because he knows EMET is a rare commodity. One cannot jump to conclusions. If someone is in a position as a judge, he should answer “I believe it’s like this”, but he cannot state it as fact. King Shlomo was careful with the truth, especially since he was a leader. It’s very different today. If you ever inject the truth into politics, you’ll have no politics.

 

 

IN THE BEGINNING…..

 

I know it’s hard remembering childhood but let’s take kids, for instance. Before they learn the art of deception from “seasoned” adults, children simply do not know how to lie. The reason is because they do not live in a contrast universe. For children, everything is perfectly consistent. What you see is what you get. However, once we accept the “fact” that people lie, we become liars ourselves, and then we never turn back.

 

 WHY DO HUMANS LIE?

 

The most underlying deception throughout the whole of existence is actually G-d deceiving us humans by hiding His presence from us! The rest, as they say, is history. Once matter is disconnected from spirit, and form from function, once we are disconnected from our inner selves, we are living a “lie.” When we do not perceive the force that gives us life, the very purpose of our being, we have the ability to lie to ourselves and to others. When we don’t feel that we are all part of one unit, we are able to hurt ourselves and others.

 

However there are those that have a natural instinct to gravitate towards truth; they do feel connected to the source; they are gifted. These individual might be spiritual but are they able to function well in society. But, how are they able to live among the deceivers?

 

IS IT WISE TO BE SO TRUTHFULL?

 

Sometimes we see so clearly that G-d has a sense of humor. It’s funny. Many of us are faced with frustrating challenges in life. If one observes in this and last week’s parshiot, one can detect that our forefather Yaakov encounters situations that are totally opposite of his character. One can see clearly that it’s not us but G-d that runs the world!

 

We learn in Tractate Makot (24:71): “The world stands on eleven important principles” and the Gemara derives this from Psalms (16). One of the principles is “he pursues truth”, referring to Yaakov. He was not accustomed to lie and we see that from the words he uttered to his mother, out of fear, “Maybe father will feel me” and realize “I’m not Eisav”. Yaakov was put in a situation that he had to lie and say “I’m Eisav”. Rivka through divine sensory knew that Yaakov was the one that should receive the blessing. His mother coached him on what to say. “Son, don’t mention G-d when you address you father. Eisav doesn’t do that and we have to be convincing”. Well, guess what? Yaakov uttered G-d’s name when he entered his father’s tent, when asked by his father “How were you able to come here from hunting so fast?” Yaakov replied: “Because G-d arranged it for me”. It seems like he couldn’t stick with the script – too honest!  We see later, Yaakov, this wet behind the ears, honest-to-goodness, Yeshiva boy becomes the son-in-law to the biggest liar, cheater and swindler that ever lived, not to mention he was constantly being lied to.

 

Rav Eliyahu Dessler has a beautiful explanation on what EMET really is. We were always led to believe that truth is describing events accurately, while SHEKER, falsehood, is exaggeration of the event. Mind you, that is just a simplistic definition. However, we know that sometimes truth is better not to be revealed. For instance, saying negative things about a friend, even though it’s true may not be the best way to go about things.  It has no constructive purpose. That’s Lashon Hara! At times it’s better to alter the truth then to tell it as it is, otherwise people will get hurt. So we see, if the truth will not help, but, on the contrary, hurt, it’s prohibited.

 

We also see if one lies to help and progress the world, this falsehood eventually turns to EMET. A good example of this is when G-d altered the words of Sarah when addressing Avraham. G-d stated her words to be that “she is too old to bear children” instead of what Sarah actually said which was “My husband is too old”. This was done in order to preserve Shalom Bayit, peace between the husband and wife. We find that altering the truth which eventually brings good is what G-d wants.

 

 

Juggling traits

 

Dr. Robert Goldman, Psycologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim says it’s easier to fight a bad characteristic trait then to set limits on a good trait. Two cases in point are our forefather Avraham and King David. Both had the tremendous characteristic of mercy but, nevertheless had difficulty in sufficiently infusing strictness on some of their children. This was particularly true in regards to Avram’s oldest son Yishmael and David’s children Avshalom and Adoniyahu.

 

Yaakov had to contain his characteristic trait of pursuing truth in order to receive the bracha. This was a very difficult task. The initiation of Yaakov to the world of deception, which was against his nature, apparently helped him later on in life in dealing with his father-in-law, Lavan.

 

Our daily prayer, EMET, and its significance

 

In the morning prayers, Shacharit, we say after Shema, Emet V’Yatziv which starts with the word Emet and then 15 consecutive words beginning with the letter Vuv.  The word Emet itself is Vuv because G-d’s seal is truth and the letter He seals with is Vuv. As we learned in previous newsletters, the number 15 represents completion. The Pesach Seder has 15 steps and King David’s Psalms has 15 shir hashirim. By having EMET, truth, enwrapped with the 15 words which correspond to completion. One is therefore shalem, complete, once all 15 have been stated. Evidence of this concept of completion can also be found in the word EMET, which has 3 letter;  ALEF-the first letter of the alef bet, a TAF-the last letter of the alef bet, and a MEM, in the middle, which is the middle letter of the alef bet. All the letters are symbolic to the whole world which the three letters of EMET come to indicate.

 

A sinner who was also a robber asked a wise man for advice on how to repent. He felt he could not take on all of the commandments, so he asked the wise man for an easier way. The wise man suggested that he take on one commandment but do it properly. The robber agreed. The wise man said to take upon himself to always tell the truth. After a time, the robber’s resolve weakened, and he set off to rob someone. On the way he met an acquaintance who asked where he was going. Remembering that he took on to always tell the truth, he told him. Then, the same thing happened again. Right away he thought, those two will be witnesses and get me killed! Because of this, he restrained himself and never stole again. (Sanhedrin 92 and the Maharsha)

 

Truth is complex. We were brought up with a very simplified expression: To tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. However, one has to know when to say it and when to be deceitful for the sake of the truth. When Yaakov met his future wife Rachel, she was puzzled when he drew up a plan to counter attack Lavan, his future father-in-law. He said “when dealing with an untruthful person, one has to be equally deceitful. EMET dictates when to use it.

 

From the day we lose our innocence, we are desperate to rediscover it. Innocence, childhood, truth, spontaneity, enchantment, seamlessness – these are attributes we adults seek out all our lives. We should continue to seek them, especially truth and innocence, reach for them and work to perfect them so we can complete the EMET of our lives and the world around us.

Why Do We Say Ben Zahar at the Brit?

September 9, 2013 Uncategorized No comments

Living in the high energized Big Apple where there is so much to do in the course of the day we have to juggle a lot; therefore we have to allocate our time wisely. One meets many interesting people on the New York City subways (well not this past week because of Sandy). If I see a person on the subway who is somewhat knowledgeable in Torah, then I press him to say a good shmooze. Of course I too am more then happy to share something which I learned recently. Believe  it or not, one can get some awesome Divrai Torahs. Such is the case many years ago with a nice guy and knowledgeable  person by the name of Baruch. He told me a nice shmooze while standing on the F train and I would like to share it with you.

 

King Solomon (Shlomo) was considered the smartest man in the world. He had 1,000 wives. So you think us New Yorkers are busy. He was interested in marrying the Queen of Sheba. The queen was playing hard to get. She said to King Shlomo ” I’ll marry you under one condition – bring me all the birds in the world. Shlomo knew the languages of the animal kingdom so he dispatched a messenger to let all the birds know they should come. The Queen of Sheba counted all the birds and discovered one missing!! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING!! Now that’s one meticulous young lady!! Shlomo, with his connections found the missing bird and asked him. ” Why didn’t you come? He answered ” I was counting all the Jewish males and females in the world”. Shlomo was puzzled. “What do you mean, isn’t it a 50/50 breakdown? Believe it or not, your majesty the king, it’s 70/30 female” the bird said. ” Some of the males don’t act like males. They don’t do the requirements which males are supposed to do, like putting on tefillin, going to minyan etc.

This is the reason we say at a brit (circumcision ceremony) – BEN- ZACHAR; ben means son, zachor means male. Ever wonder why we say the double language? Why not just say one or the other? Because the new baby boy should be a ben and act like a zachar. He should do what a zachar is supposed to do.

The Rebellious Streak In All of Us

August 18, 2013 G-d and Us No comments
This article is based on the writings of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, and Rav Eliyahu Dessler. Addition help and insights were provided by Rabbis Jay Shapiro, Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus, Uri Sklaar, and Dr. Robert Goldman.
  

       The Hollywood movie formula is pretty much the same. So many people have seen this scenario at one point or another, whether on flat screen, the computer, or even on their iphones: Two people are having an adulterous affair when the husband walks into the house. The adulterer jumps off the couch and hides behind the curtain. The audience wonders if he’s going to get caught as the wife tries to divert his attention from where the other man is hiding.
The husband is hungry, having not eaten after a long day at work, decides to nibble on the berries that he finds by the window sill. The adulterer see’s this and jumps out from where he was hiding, grabbing the berries from the husbands hand.
Apparently the berries were poisonous
Why did the adulterer save him?
Did he feel guilty and even feel a little remorse?
Perhaps he now feels, hey! I saved your life so as compensation your wife is mine.
Or perhaps there’s a different reason…
This scenario is not a Hollywood contraption; it’s actually a Gemara found at the end of tractate Nedarim.
The Gemara seems to indicate that the adulterer is not really an adulterer; after all why would he save him?
Isn’t it the best interest of the adulterer to have the husband dead?
“Perhaps not” Rava says and introduces us to a very interesting concept found all through our holy books.
MAYIM G’NIVIM NIMTAKU- stolen waters are sweet
Rava teaches us that the adulterer wants to keep the husband alive so that the affair with his wife would be exciting. Otherwise it wouldn’t be pleasurable.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz takes a similar story one step further stating that there are people would testify in court that the husband is alive even though he’s really dead. They want to create a pseudo adulterous environment as they make advances on  the wife
Rav Chaim was puzzled about this; “the person testifying knows he’s dead! How can he say he’s alive and derive pleasure?
He wants to create an imaginary married woman because ‘stolen waters are sweeter’.

One can find the story quite bazaar, to say the least, one would think, hey, there are many desperados out there. Or perhaps one might think the dude’s who think like that are sicko’s.

It’s a mind boggling thought that one can go to such an extreme!!

The Talmud hints this idea again in a difficult Gemara found in Sanhedrin (75). It’s funny, though, many in our day and age have had  infatuations over girls, however the Talmud seems to indicate that on rare occasions an  innocent crush could lead to devastating  results:
Again I paraphrase:
Someone has eyes on a woman and desires her and it seems like it’s having a serious psychological impact on his health. He becomes terribly sick as result of his infatuation to a point where death is imminent.
How can we save him?
Can we allow him to have relations with her?
No.
Can we allow the woman to undress before him so he can be satisfied and then cured?
The answer is no.
Can we allow him to speak to her behind a partitioner perhaps he would be satiated and be cured?
The answer is no.
Because of modesty laws we cannot degrade our Jewish girls.
So the Gemara asks a question.
Why doesn’t he simply just marry her? …..That will cure him!
The Gemara answers “It wouldn’t help, he would not receive the high caliber pleasure needed to quench his desire and recuperate from the psychological damage because, as his wife, she is permitted to him. Once she is permitted the pleasure is not as strong.
Better he die then to sin.

Why is the Talmud in various places insinuating that a married woman or someone who is not permissible is more desirable then one who is single?
What allure does a married woman have?
Perhaps this next story in the prophets will shed some light.

King Shlomo the smartest man that ever lived…..

       King Solomon was the smartest man who ever lived. When his father, King David, was on his deathbed, he instructed his son, Shlomo, to use his own discretion (to kill) in dealing with Shimi ben Gera, who cursed the King (David) many years before. The verbal offensive remark by Shimi against the king is punishable by death, but for reasons undisclosed at that time, David did not act.  After the death of his father, King Solomon summoned Shimi ben Gera and instructed him not to leave the boundaries of Jerusalem or he will be killed. ‘Build a house, learn Torah within the walls of the city; live your life till old age in Jerusalem. But don’t step outside the city or else’. Pretty easy, huh?  We learn that it was extremely difficult for Shimi to stay in the confines of Jerusalem and to keep the arrangement, which Shlomo mapped out. Eventually he crossed the line and the King ordered his execution
 Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz asks, ‘I don’t understand, why Shimi ben Gera couldn’t keep this simple arrangement? He was a very intelligent G-d fearing man. Plus, I know families that haven’t left Jerusalem for seven generations”. Many of us have relatives who have not left Israel and have no desire to leave anytime soon. It’s mind boggling how he wasn’t able to keep such a simple command’.

Apparently, man was born with an instinct to rebel, to break barriers and even a desire for imaginary barriers. Dr. Robert Goldman, psychologist for Chofetz Chaim Yeshiva, quotes Rav Volve, ‘Man’s nature strives for independence. He has an attitude ‘just to prove I don’t have to listen to you’ and they constantly create a situation to rebel. Ever wonder why some people violate Shabbat even though it’s clear in the Torah of the grave consequences; subconsciously they say ‘let’s see if I can get away with it’.
Dr. Goldman read a survey where bosses that married their secretaries, after a number of years, most relationships broke off. He mentions very often interest is lost in many of the cases. The relation, being now permissible, took all the fun out. He says it’s “the same when a couple move in together out of wedlock only to break up after they tie the knot. Why? On a sub-conscience level they’re rebelling against society, rebelling against the norm of getting married feels good.
In this week’s parsha, Ki Teitzei, we learn if a man goes to war and captures a woman from the enemy and desires her, and the Jewish soldier wants to take her home with him (prized stolen waters), the Torah permits him to do so but puts provisions; she has to shave her head, grow her nails long, and not see her parents for a period of time. Apparently, the Torah knows man will not be able to withstand the desire. Therefore, the Torah with it’s wisdom, tries to defuse ‘the forbidden fruits’ by making it legal, but with a few minor conditions. Apparently, the Torah believes that when the pressure subsides and the soldier doesn’t feel the rebellious streak, the desire for her will go away.

       Television was a big influence on our generation in America. Even more so were the commercials where so many of us fell to our knees and swallowed the Kool-Aid.

A friend mentioned how he once, at age fourteen, went, incognito, to the fast food non kosher hamburger restaurant, famous for its very appetizing commercials. Years ago fast food restaurants advertised very heavily and successfully. My friend bought a burger and quickly snuck in a very empty movie theater so no one can see him and ate it. I remember back then, him telling me how incredible it was.
However I asked him later in life how was that hamburger?
Do you recall the incident with the hamburger? I asked.
He said it was nothing special. It was just the fact that he wasn’t allowed to eat it, that made him feel the excitement.

The feeling of rebelliousness gives a person a sense of satisfaction.
         How many readers out there feel that their class was the worst behaved class ever? ‘What we did to that school, boy, were they glad to get rid of us. You know we left a mark’. It’s nice to feel your class was the worst in the history of the world, isn’t it?
There is a famous question……
       Which is harder….a person not commanded to do a mitzvah and does it anyway or a person who is commanded to do a mitzvah and does it? The answer is simple; a person who is commanded has the greater challenge since he now has the extra struggle of holding back from rebelling.
So after all this it seems we have build in us the tendency to rebel. Yet we were brought up believing that every Jewish soul is pure. Deep down inside all we want to do is good. This is in contrast to the rebellious streak in all of us…So which is it?
There seems to be a contradicting message. Rebellious streak or pure soul?
The Mystics say there is an extreme importance in saying the first blessing mentioning Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov in the Amida, which is considered the most important passage in prayer we have.
Man lost his purity as the result of the sin of eating from the tree. Through their experiences our three fathers Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov brought back a degree of that pure soul.  They instilled it into our spiritual DNA.
Throughout our lives we are in constant battle between the rebellious nature and the pure soul.
King Solomon knew human nature the minute you put barriers on someone or tell him not to do something, the task becomes harder, even to a man as great as Shimi.
Shimi was not able to dig in deep and connect to the pure soul of our forefathers thereby succumbing to a rebellious streak
 David didn’t kill Shimi because he foresaw from divine knowledge that in the future he will produce children and from them the great Mordechai will come out. He therefore commanded Shlomo his son to implement the plan that would lead to his demise. This occurred after he gave birth to the future Tzadik Mordechai.

Parshat Teruma

May 10, 2013 Highlights No comments
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A Quick Thought”
Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 Parshat Terumah
February 23, 2012
30 Shevat, 5772
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In This Issue
Parshat Terumah Highlights
Taking Pride in Being Real
Father & Son Relationship
Million Dollar Smile

Parshat Terumah Highlights
 

First Portion

 

* The Jew of today goes to Synagogue daily; some go weekly; there are those who go less frequent. In essence, we are practicing what the Torah describes ‘And I (G-d) will dwell among them’ The question is asked why does it say ‘them’? it should say ‘dwell among it ‘; the subject is the sanctuary, the one central Temple. However, the spirituality of the sanctuary has been transmitted to every local synagogue and study hall where optimally the Mikdash brings a man so close to G-d, all feel Him within them, where G-d approaches each being according to what he can endure. Although our great nation is part and parcel with each other and we all follow the same central laws; however communicating with G-d is also very personal.

* When one is considering moving to a new neighborhood, one of the first and foremost items on his list are that he should seek is a temple of his liking.

* It is odd that G-d instructed us to make a sanctuary and limit the spirituality and to confine G-d to a concrete area, the Mishkan. It sounds like a contradiction to the essence of Judaic belief of G-d, which is, G-d is everywhere. However, it became essential because man needs that central figure to reinforce the strong commitment to G-d. Unfortunately the lack of temple added to the temptation that caused the Israelites to sin at the golden calf incident. For this reason, now we can answer why the sequence of events is in question because apparently the sin of the golden calf was brought before the building of the Mishkan, and here the parshiot are lined up the opposite. As we know, the Mishkan was enacted because of the sin of the golden calf. Rav Zalman Zorotzkin suggests perhaps we see a pattern how G-d runs the world; He never gives the diseases before the cure.

* Mikdash – according to Maimonides and other commentaries – means ‘house of appointment. The main purpose is to prepare oneself for tomorrow.

* Every person volunteered something that was from thirteen raw materials that was found in the Mikdash.

* The Aron (Arc) was the most essential part of the Mishkan and therefore discussed first. Apparently, it was constructed before the Mishkan itself.

 

Second Portion

* The Keruvim were the most intriguing part of the Mishkan. They were set on top of the Aron. The two Keruvim were baby-faced and had wings. If at times, the Israelites’ prayers were accepted, the Keruvim would embrace each other, and at times when the prayers were not accepted, they would turn away from each other. Their wings thrust upward signifying that man should always aspire for spiritual heights.

 

* Atzai Sheetim/cedar wood was the wood used for the Mishkan. Why did G-d prefer the wood of the Sheetim above all other kinds of cedar? The Sheetim were picked since it bears no fruit. G-d wanted to set an example for people who build a house. They should reason that if G-d constructed His Mishkan from the wood of a barren tree, we certainly should not use the wood of a fruit tree for this purpose. (One should note it is not permissible to cut down a fruit tree.)

 

 

Third Portion

 

* The menorah had seven lamps, which corresponded to the constellation of the seven stars. The seven stars represent the course of all natural events in the universe. The flames, which were lit with the purest of olive oil, symbolize the illumination of the intellect, and will rise above the mundane nature of the world. The center flame represents Shabbat, and the other six flames; three before and three after represent the days of the week, which get all their power and resources from Shabbat. The Shabbat represents time, and the Mishkan represents the place where G-d brings down spirituality.

 

 

Fourth Portion

 

* There is a tremendous emphasis on wood in the Mishkan. The Temple represents peace and all the components that go with it. Our Father, Abraham, received guests, the three Angels, under difficult circumstances. The kindness which he performed by serving them under a tree; this is the kind of tree that is represented in the Mishkan. Later, Our father, Yaacov instructed his children to plant these trees in Egypt, knowing they will not find trees in the desert, where they would take the cedar wood with them.

 

 

Fifth Portion

 

* The Shulchan (table) was the medium through which the blessing of nourishment flowed to the entire world. G-d therefore commanded it should never be empty since His blessing rests on substantial matters. This was hinted by Elisha the prophet who told an improvised woman that she must have something in the house upon which G-d’s blessing could rest. It’s also important to note never to say that the bracha is finished; one should conclude ‘the bracha is plenty’.

* Some communities have a tradition to place the twelve breads that were presented in the Mishkan, and place them to say the bracha ‘Hamotzi’ at their Shabbat table.

 

 

Sixth Portion

 

* The Altar is where the sacrifices take place. Many miracles were performed in the Mishkan. It’s fascinating how a fire from the heavens comes down and consumes the sacrifice in which the individual brings; that signifies that it has been accepted. Imagine, I can’t help but think how that’s a very significant way to get close to G-d.

 

 

Seventh Portion

 

* If one notices there is no metal or steel in the temple, that is because metal symbolizes war and the Mishkan represents peace. There are communities that remove the knives from the Shabbat table meal before birkat hamazon because the Shabbat table represents the Mizbeach, and believe it or not, is a great way to get close to G-d.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking Pride in Being Real
   

 

 

Rashi, the main commentary on the Torah, explains, when G-d writes ‘make me a sanctuary for me’ He means solely for Me. We must ask to what extent is ‘solely for Me’.

 

King Solomon, in conversation with Hiram king of Tyre, informed him that the reason my father David did not build the Temple was because he fought many wars.

 

What was Shlomo alluding to? Was King David really so busy with battles that he had to scrap the plans to build a Temple? He did have time to write the book of Psalms, which was an enormous body of work, and probably took much of his energies from other important functions. Perhaps that’s the reason for not building the house of G-d. It would not make sense, if David had even a slight opportunity to build the Temple, he would have made it priority #1. What was the reason behind Shlomo’s statement to Tyre that prevented David, then King not to build the Temple?

 

The holiday of Purim is soon coming!! We learn something fascinating from the Klei Yakar who brings an explanation on what motivated  king Achashverosh to throw the devastating party in which the Jews participated which got them in trouble.

 

Apparently, Achashverosh married royalty. Vashti, his wife who he had killed, was the granddaughter of Nevuchanetzar. If the reader remembers, Nevuchanetzar destroyed the first Temple and took much booty from the Temple. Achashverosh was much excited about the party because he would perform a ceremony in which he assumed, would put him over the top as king. He planned on dressing up with clothes that were taken from the Bet Hamikdash, performing the Kohen Gadol’s rituals in which the Kohen performed in the Temple. As a result, Achashverosh would be unstoppable.

 

The king of Persia, as many others believed, that every time the Jews are about to do battle, they pray and do sacrifices in their Temple and emerge victorious; it’s a guarantee!!

 

Although the plan didn’t work, one needs a lot more then just the clothes and the utensils for G-d to accept one’s Tefilot (prayers). But that was Achashverosh’s mind-set.

 

King Solomon said to Hiram “My father fought a lot of wars and maybe there might have been a slight tinge of ulterior motives; the temptation was great for David, considering his position with an unstable foreign affairs policies.” G-d informed David that he will draw the blueprints, and Shlomo, his son, will build it. Shlomo reigned in peaceful times with his surrounding neighbors.

 

Are we sincere in our belief in G-d? When we give charity, how much is it? Do you really want to help or does one desire the recognition from the community that they’re a super individual? Although one should give and do good things, even with ulterior motives, the Torah believes what starts as insincere, turns to sincerity.

This Dvar Torah was given mostly by Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz who always has a way to make the individual think and to understand our conscience and unconscious thoughts and bring out self-awareness. I hope the reader enjoyed this schmooze as much as I did many years ago. It was one of my favorites.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Father & Son Relationship
   

 

 

The most intriguing and fascinating items of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) are the Keruvim. They were found on top of the Aron. They were two child-like faces with wings pointed upwards. When the Israelites were close to G-d, they would embrace each other, and when the Jews were not on the standards that they should be, the Keruvim would face away from one another.

 

The sages say, when G-d wanted to give the Torah to the Jews, he asked for a guarantor. So the Israelites replied “Our Forefathers, Abraham, Isaac and Yaacov would be perfect.” G-d refused, stating “They owe me. How can they be guarantors?” An example was given, if a man wants to borrow money from someone and demands a guarantor, and the potential borrower says how about Joe? The potential lender refuses stating “how can he be a guarantor? He owes me money himself.”

 

G-d said to the Jews” bring me someone that doesn’t owe me.” The Israelites answered back “We know someone who doesn’t owe You a thing, the children; they’ll be the guarantors.”

 

Apparently, there are a number of different opinions as to who exactly were the Keruvim; some say it’s a boy and a girl; others say it was a boy and a man. Yechezkel’s vision was that of a boy and a man.

 

What’s the meaning of having a boy and a man on the faces of the Keruvim? Rabbi Noach Isaac Olbaum explains this is the essential part of Judaism. It’s the father and son relationship that’s crucial to the continuous existence of our nation. It’s the father’s obligation to pass down the tradition to his son. Without a doubt, the fact that the Keruvim were placed in the holies of holies on top of the Aron, shows the importance of the relationship between the father and son. You can’t get holier than that place.

 

Therefore, we have to examine and fortify our relationship with our children. It should be healthy and communicative. The parody of the American dysfunctional family is brought out very well in the satirical TV series, The Simpsons. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen television and that show in particular. The show, indeed, well written, was very funny but very sad; but most important, a very true portrayal of many family structures, or I should say dis-structure in the western world.

The Torah emphasis the importance of the bond of father and son and the crucial treasure the Torah, passing down the tradition, that’s at stake. So perhaps what we could do is go out for a burger with our son; have a catch when the weather gets nice, and most important, learn Torah with him. It’s important and it’s a priceless moment.

Million Dollar Smile

This coming week is my father’s yartzeit; there are many things that were special about Pop. But there’s one particular thought about him, which I put together in one of my earlier lectures a number of years ago, which I would like to share with you:

Pop and I were on a business trip in South Carolina visiting a good customer of his. He had met him years before in Dallas, where both were salesmen. Pop was working for himself while his friend was working for a major (terminology for a ‘leading’) jewelry chain. Now, this friend was running an established business of his own. In the jewelry business it’s called a ma & pa store. We were invited to this friend’s house for a meal, and after the meal, the friend, who was a schmoozer, was having an extended conversation with Pop. I was watching Monday Night Football with his kids in the other room. I can see Pop through the hall in the dining room smiling and nodding his head in approval at whatever the friend was saying. What was odd, after an hour, was that they were still having their conversation. Actually, it was the friend who was doing all the talking and Pop was just nodding and smiling. “Pop doesn’t understand English that well to comprehend a lengthy one-hour English conversation”, I remember saying to myself.

As the evening was coming to an end, the friend said to me as we were by the front door saying goodbye, “Your father and I had an amazing discussion; he’s a pleasure to be around”. In the car, driving back to our hotel room, I asked Pop what did they talk about? He smiled and giggled and said “I have no idea.” Like many conversations with Americans, my father, an immigrant, was able to build his life through one of G-d’s spiritual forces — a smile.

It says in Pirkei Avot, ‘Greet every person be’sever (with intelligence), panim (greetings; for example: hello – shalom which is another name for G-d. When we greet people, we remind each other that greetings are a G-dly trait and we’re emulating it), and yafot (smile; animals show teeth which is a sign of aggression while humans show teeth as a sign of compassion).

Rava said, if a student struggles in his studies, it’s because the teacher did not smile at him. A smile opens up the intellect. It’s a spiritual trait, which is the reason we tend to gravitate to, and therefore we are attracted to a smiley person. Politicians consciously go out of their way to smile. The Talmud says ‘White of teeth is better than a cup of milk’; meaning sometimes, under certain circumstances, it’s a better option than serving guests with refreshment or showering one with gifts.

There is a beautiful story that I once heard on the topic of smiling. Every morning, Abraham enters the plant and greets everybody with a smile. One Wednesday afternoon, Thanksgiving weekend was fast approaching and people were anxious to leave work for the long weekend. Abraham was packing the meat in the walk-in freezer when he realized – as he was attempting to leave – the freezer door is locked.

Apparently, the other workers, in haste, locked the freezer without realizing someone was in there. Abraham realized the dangerous consequences he would be in if he’s left in the freezer for an extended period of time. A few hours passed and it was time for the doorman to change shifts. However, he felt a certain uneasiness that something was missing. He mentioned to the guard that will replace him ‘”You know, there’s one guy, the smiley guy, that I have not seen leave “. The guard went upstairs to look for him and discovered Abraham, frozen, but alive, in the freezer. Apparently a smile can go a long way. This guard gets hundreds of people entering and exiting the building daily. Nevertheless, he remembered Abraham because a smile is magnetic. Humans are drawn to a smile because it’s spiritual.

For some, smiling comes naturally; however, for others, it’s not so easy. If one realizes the importance of a beautiful smile he would be at a tremendous advantage.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

 Our Sponsors
Yale & Wendy Zoland in honor of their children; may they have hatzlacha and bracha in all their endeavors.

 

 

Mr. Ramin Nassimian in loving memory of Yoav Zarobabel ben Gavriel.

 

 

Mr. & Mrs. Joe Ambalu in loving memory of his father Eliyahu ben Yosef.

 

 

Mr. & Mrs. Aharon Ambalu in loving memory of his father Eliyahu ben Yosef.

 

 

Mr. & Mrs Baruch Maximov for the refuah shelema of all of Klal Yisrael.

 

 

The Matmon family in loving memory of their father and husband Yaacov ben Mazal, and grandmother Mazal bat Tamar.