Tag Archive for Kippa

The Power of Publicity – Displaying a Kiddush Hashem

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of
Rabbi’s  Yissachar Frand, Yossi Bilius

“WILL YOU WEAR THIS IN PUBLIC”

I once asked a friend why he doesn’t wear a kippa. After all, I argued, you keep Shabbat, kashrut and the basic mitzvot. He answered “I don’t want to be scrutinized for everything I do. If I don’t have the kippa on my head, I can do whatever I want, wherever I want and whenever I want to”. In other word he is relinquishing responsibilities. That is, he is relinquishing the responsibilities of being a Jew.

Is he correct? Should we hide our Jewishness or should we display it? Of course not! We are the chosen people and have a task to show and teach the world G-dly concepts. A study was taken a number of years ago as to which nation is most frequently displayed on the front page stories of the New York Times, a leading national news circulation. With the exception of the United States, Israel and Jewish related stories came in number two after US. We are scrutinized to no end, even though we don’t ask for it. Why? Because we are Jews. So if we are in the limelight any way, why don’t we control how we are perceived; it might benefit us to act like the fine role models we are supposed to be.

Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky zt”l recounted that when he was a Rabbi in Lithuania before World War 2, he was asked a question by a resident of his community. The man had purchased stamps from the local post office, and had received more stamps that he had paid for. For such a poor man, the extra stamps were no trifle matter. Nonetheless, Rav Kaminetsky suspected that perhaps the postal clerk was testing the rabbi. This suspicion was confirmed a short time later when the clerk gave him too much change. The rabbi returned the extra money. Many years after the Nazis came and destroyed the community, the rabbi heard that this clerk had saved many Jews, testifying that he tested everybody to assess their honesty, the only trustworthy people were the Jews! This teaches us that in addition to the obligation to be honest and avoid thievery, a Jew must be extra vigilant to bring about a Kiddush Hashem.
The Gemara [Bava Metziah 87a] describes that Avraham made a party to mark the occasion of the weaning of Yitzchak, to which he invited all the great men of the generation. Avraham Avinu was not just a private citizen. He was society’s primary proponent of monotheism. He rejected the pagan idols of the rest of the world and proclaimed the existence of a Master of the Universe.

Avraham Avinu wanted to sanctify the Name of G-d (Kiddush Hashem) and publicize the great miracle that G-d did for him. Avraham made this big celebration for just that purpose, but the cynics that were sitting there were having a field day. They joked that Yitzchak could not possibly be Avraham’s child. Sarah must have become pregnant from Avimelech. “She lived many decades with Avraham and had not become pregnant from him. ” We all know how it goes: A roll of the eyes, a twist of the nose, a mocking smile.

Even though Avraham fathered a child with Hagar, cynicism does not need to be precise or accurate. The effect of a “one-liner” is basically that of a pin. In just one moment, the balloon bursts. The “press” will write it up. The fact that anyone with intelligence who thinks about this for 30 seconds will recognize it as nonsense is irrelevant. The damage has already been done. Such is the power of leitzanut – mockery.

In response, G-d made a miracle, and made Yitzchak’s face look exactly like Avraham’s. Why did G-d respond in such a miraculous fashion to counteract this false type of mocking?

Who cares what these idiots say. One can simply say “I’m bigger then that. I don’t need to respond.” However, allowing this “momentary bursting” of the “balloon of Kiddush Hashem” would have defeated Avraham’s entire purpose in making the party. Thus, G-d needed to make a miracle to restore the inspirational nature of this festive meal.
We see a powerful example from this week’s Parsha. At the end of the Parsha, Bo, we have a Mitzvah to “Sanctify for Me (G-d) all the first born…” [Shemot 13:2] The first born of human beings and animals are holy to G-d. Why? Because G-d passed over Egypt on the night of Pesach and killed the first born of the Egyptians while sparing the first born of Israel. Is that a reason for the first born to be invested with a holiness which lasts until today?

The answer can be found is an interesting letter which Rabbi Yissachar Frand obtained from Rav Simcha Zissel from Kelm to Baron Rothschild. Rabbi Frand frequently quotes Rav Simcha Zissel. Baron Rothschild, as we all know, was a fantastically wealthy person who put his money to good use. He helped thousands and thousands of Jews. The Alter from Kelm writes the following to Baron Rothschild:

“I want to express my gratitude to you for all the generous and kind acts, which you have done for the entire Jewish people. Do not suspect, Heaven forbid, that I am coming with my own request for funds. However, in my humble opinion, I have to express my sense of gratitude for all that you have done to help the Jewish people. You are a person who stands before Kings and nevertheless you do not forget from where you came, and therefore maintain your support for Jewish needs. This is a great Sanctification of G-d’s Name and your reward is very great. Based on legal obligation (al pi din), I feel I have to express my thanks, honor, and appreciation to such an individual and to such a Sanctification of G-d’s name.”

Then the Alter from Kelm continues… “Think for a minute. The Halacha was to have been that the First Born was to have done the Service in the Temple. Had it not been for the sin of the Golden Calf, the Bechorim [first born] would have served G-d in the Beis HaMikdash, instead of the Kohanim. Why? Because they were passed over on that night of Pesach. As a result, until this very day there is sanctity of the first born. Not only does this sanctity apply to the first born of a human, but even to the first born of an animal.”

Rav Simcha Zissel asks, “Why? What did the Bechorim do, that made them holy?” They were merely passive. They were born first and therefore were saved by G-d, when He killed the first born. So what? What did the first born do that would have made them holier than a regular person, and fit for the Temple Service until this very day?

Rav Simcha Zissel answers, that they participated — albeit passively — in a Sanctification of G-d’s Name. When G-d, in his Own Glory came into Egypt and killed the Egyptian first born while sparing the Jewish first born, that was a tremendous Kiddush HaShem. That may have been the greatest manifestation of G-d’s power, up to that that point in history.

The first born, passively aided and abetted this great Kiddush HaShem. A person who even passively helps to create a Sanctification of G-d’s name, has a very great reward… to the extent that even today a first born is holy. Why? Because thousands of years ago the Bechorim ‘helped’ make a Kiddush HaShem.

“If this is the reward for a person who passively helps in a Kiddush Hashem, how can we begin to contemplate,” says the Alter from Kelm, “what the reward is of a person that actively goes and makes a Kiddush Hashem?”

“Therefore, you, Baron Rothschild, considering who you are and what you have done, have actively and publicly Sanctified G-d’s Name. Therefore, the greatest honor, respect and sense of Hakarat HaTov is due to you, merely by virtue of this fact.”

This is the lesson from the parsha of Bechor. Even passively helping create a Kiddush HaShem is a tremendous zechut [merit]. How much more of a Kiddush HaShem are we creating, when, in our daily lives, the way we act, the way we talk, the way we negotiate, the way we deal in business and the way we act among people –Jew and non-Jew alike — Sanctifies G-d’s Name?

If we use opportunities to go out of our way to make that Kiddush HaShem; if we say that extra “Good Morning,” if we are assiduously honest; if we go the extra mile to make that Kiddush Hashem so that they can say about us “You are my Servant, Israel, through whom I will be Glorified” [Yeshaya 49:3]; that they can say upon us “How pleasant are his ways” [Talmud Yoma 86a]; how beautiful are the ways of a religious Jew; then, as the Alter from Kelm writes, our reward will be very great.
There are times when one does a mitzvah to the fullest with the deepest commitment and through his action brings out Kiddush Hashem. I would like to illuminate such a case with a fellow named Rabbi Yosef Gutfarb. Rabbi Yosef was a New Yorker who moved to Jerusalem, Israel. He made an undertaking that he will always pray with a minyan.

We Jews pray 3 times a day and the optimal prayer conducted is with a minyan, which consists of at least 10 men present. Kadish may also only be recited in the presence of 10 men.

It can be quite challenging for one to get up early in the morning, in the heat or cold, and attend prayer services.

What is dedication?

What does it mean to pass a tough test?

If someone enters a freezing cold car at 6:15 in the morning, in the dead of winter, just to get to minyan; now that’s dedication!! Mankind has not figured out an inexpensive way to have the car heating system working so that it’s hot intently. No one looks forward for the car in the early morning experience. It is equally challenging to pry yourself from the middle of an important business transactions and attend the afternoon services. One can get really involved in their career. Furthermore, evening services are not any easier after a long and hard day at work. Nevertheless Rabbi Yosef soldiered his way through three decades, whether on business trips all around the world or any sort of unexpected pop-ups; he did not miss a beat of Kadish or one amen of a minyan!!…Talk about longevity!! Hmm, did someone give Rabbi Yosef the evil eye?

One night Rav Yosef came home after 3:00am and he had not yet prayed the evening services. Since in Shaufat the last minyan is at 11:00pm he calculated he would go to the next town over to search for a minyan. He was confident he would catch one in Zichron Moshe where there was a shul (Bet Hakneset) there, known to be a minyan factory. A minyan factory is a place where there are rooms throughout the building, where there is always a minyan at any time of day or night; how convenient is that?

Well mazal was a little difficult that night and to his dismay only one other person was waiting. “Do you think anybody else will come?” he inquisitively asked.

“Why are you saying Kadish? Are you an Avel-mourning the loss of a loved one?” the man questioned.

“No, I just made a commitment many years ago to not to miss a minyan” he replied. “How could this be? There is always a minyan here!” he nervously thought. What to do? What to do?

“I got it!!”

Rav Yosef then called a taxi company and asked if eight cabs can come to Zichron Moshe Shul (Bet Hakneset). “Only Israeli drivers” he added emphatically.

The dispatcher retorted back, “I don’t have eight taxies at three in the morning.”

“How many do you have?” Rav Yosef asked. “Only five” the dispatcher replied.

“Fine, send them quickly please: don’t forget only Israeli drivers!!”

Rav Yosef called another taxi company and asked for three Israeli drivers. The dispatcher said they would come in a few minutes.
The eight cabs all lined up and got out of their cars thinking they came at a tail end of some kind of party. To their dismay they found only Rabbi Yosef and the gentleman.

Rav Yosef told the drivers to turn off their cars and enter the shul “we’re going to pray the evening services, I need a minyan”. He explained his strange appeal by saying, “I haven’t missed a minyan in
years”.

The drivers, surprised but intrigued, obliged to the bizarre request.

They all could read Hebrew but not all were familiar with the protocol of tefila -prayer. Some had kippas-skull caps in their pockets, some in their glove compartment in their taxies.

After the prayer Rav Yosef took out his wallet to pay the drivers.

All the drivers, one by one refused to take the money. They were all stunned by the audacity of this American Jew who went to great lengths to fulfill his commitment for the sake of praying with a minyan. So impressed by the 15 minute prayer, many of the drivers thanked Rav Yosef for an uplifting spiritual experience. Many told him they have never had such a strong feeling when they prayed like this one time. Some said they haven’t prayed in a while and were honored to participate. They were all glad to have the opportunity to pray with such a person.

That’s a Kiddush Hashem and, more importantly, that’s the power of a Kiddush Hashem.

Intellect vs Emotions
This article was comprised using thoughts from  Chidushay Halev by Rav Henoch Liebowitz z’l
On the morning of Rosh Hashanah, Rivka [Rebecca] went into the bedroom to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready to go to the synagogue [Shul], to which he replied in a dull voice, “I’m not going.”
“Why not?” Rivka demanded. “I’ll give you two good reasons, Mother.” he said. “One, they don’t like me, and two, I don’t like them.”  Rivka replied in an exasperated voice, “I’ll give you two good reasons why you must go to the synagogue. One, you’re 54 years old, and two, you’re the Rabbi.”
Rabbi’s are people too.  No one is immune; they  also can get sucked in to the emotions of their job.
If one knows a little American history. Henry Kissinger was the  Secretary of State back in the 1970’s under President Richard Nixon. He was considered by many as a very smart man. There was a popular joke about emotions and intellect involving the smartest man of his time:
Three people were on an airplane: Henry Kissinger, a boy scout, and a Rabbi. They will find out that the plane is in distress and will crash shortly. There are only two parachutes!! Henry Kissinger grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. So, the Rabbi goes to the boy scout ‘take the parachute. Son, I’m a lot older than you. You have a long life ahead of you. Please take the parachute. The boy laughs ‘Don’t worry, Rabbi. There are two left .The smartest man in the world just took my knapsack.’

           When situations are such that one is forced to make a decision with great deal of emotions involved, in this case facing life and death on the airplane, a greater amount mistakes will occur. The intellect has to have greater control over the emotions to have a good functional system.
           Desire is another emotion that can be devastating, even when one has time on his side; it’s a slow kill. If the desire is strong enough, then chances are it’s not governed by intellect. One may think he’s rational but it’s the emotion that stems from the desire that’s talking. What’s that expression? Don’t confuse me with the facts, I made my decision.

Rashi said Pharaoh refused to be humbled before G-d (Shemot 10:3). When the Egyptians began to enslave the Jews, Pharaoh rationalized that we can really use them and gain from their productivity. However, G-d had other plans and Pharaoh realized himself it wasn’t beneficial to enslave them. His advisers warned him also Egypt will be lost if the enslavement of the Jews continues. Their powerful G-d will destroy us. Pharaoh who was considered very smart knew that these plagues will destroy his kingdom. Yet his ego didn’t allow him to let them go.
But how does one understand Pharaohs behavior? Apparently, it should be the opposite. If Pharaoh was so concerned about his Honor and protect his ego, he would have let the Jews out the first chance he had knowing he’s going to lose his status and wealth. There’s no comparison; it’s a no-brainer. What’s at stake? Pharaoh can lower his head and let them go and still maintain his kingdom and perhaps a good chance of being considered a superpower. Or he would hold firm and continue to enslave the Israelites and inevitably his army would be destroyed and Egypt will never ever gain the glorified position it holds and Pharaoh would be labeled a fool by the world. Let’s not overlook that he sinned in front of G-d and will be accounted for it after his life is over.
             Why did he make such a decision? Isn’t it mind boggling?
              Pharaohs inflated ego was making the decisions. This desire, which stems from the heart, overrides the intellect. No matter how logical and factual the emotions block out the intellect where even the smartest man in the world will not make a rational decision. Even if his advisors are begging him to let them go and the plague are causing devastation, Pharaoh will feel confident that it’s the right choice. It’s a scary thought, how many decisions people make based on desire; desire for honor and women.
              People don’t realize that desire is an emotion because one can be seen as acting normal, however it influences us. When the desire is alleviated even briefly, one can realize the wrong decisions he has made and the time he wasted. The frightening aspect about desire even a most influential friend with sound advice may not be able to get through because his message will be blocked.

 

Road Rage

          This past year, there were 1500 injuries and 400 serious injuries from road rage; some of which caused fatalities. It’s strange, but it seems like no one is immune to this increasing phenomena; even yours truly. I remember one morning last summer, while I was driving, a speeding vehicle buzzed past my car and the driver screamed, ‘Jew!!’ It was unexpected, so I jumped. Obviously, the driver’s intention was to purely shock and agitate me, and he accomplished his mission. What was surprising about the incident was my reaction. Instinctively, I was about to press on the acceleration pedal and ram my old jalopy 1996 Toyota Camry into him. Those brief moments were filled with all the emotions of startled surprise to rage. All I could think was “How dare you!!”. Seconds later, I came to my senses realizing I have a kippa on my head and I have to live up to a certain dignified standard. Also, why would I want this low-life in my life for any extended period; the few seconds that he was in view was enough. I hope with G-d’s help to never see him again. Lastly, I have a busy life as is, so I don’t need the headaches.
          But to think, the scariest and most disappointing notion is that for those few seconds, I was tempted to violently react in the most horrific way. I was going to use the car, a vehicle that has helped transport my family and I to many productive functions, as a weapon of destruction. For those brief moments, I was not in control. I can’t help but think that if the scenario was slightly different and he would have agitated me a bit longer or if I had a rough morning before, would I have acted on those initial impulses?

          What is it about driving that transforms mild-mannered, nice people into rash road-rage racers? I know many of these people. In real life, they are courteous, responsible and family oriented, I guess like myself! On the road they mutate into monsters. How? I think it has to do with the feeling of control. Take the wheel and you assume control. You direct and your car obeys. You choose the route, destination, travel time, speed and driving style. This is your journey. What you haven’t necessarily considered is that you don’t control the traffic volumes, the red lights, the drivers next to you or ahead of you. You actually control very little of the journey. When it doesn’t go as expected, you get upset, angry or even aggressive. And all because you thought you were in control. Interesting insight into life, this road rage is. Believe you’re in control and you’re bound to be frustrated; perhaps pseudo-control is the best description. Accept that there will always be variables outside of your control, and that your job is to know how to respond to them, and you will remain calm…and happy.

USE THE KIPPA AS A TOOL TO HELP ONE NOT TO OVER REACT OR……

          Understandably, a kippa, which I obviously wore at the road rage incident, is a tool. It reminds oneself about the pride of being a Jewish mench (odam) and the ability we possess for self-restrain. With it, we have to adhere to a higher standard of behavior. We won’t let our emotions get the better of us. After all, this is one of the primary lessons we learn in Yeshiva – control your mind over emotions. I know many who take off their kippa’s in order to not have to live up to those standards. They want to behave in a decadent way, at least for the evening night out. “I’m on vacation from being civil”.

          Although wearing a kippa brings out the best behavior in an individual, at times it can put us in a difficult predicament. Let’s take our example; when one wears a kippa and as a result is being singled out because of his “Jewishness”, does he fight back against anti-Semitism? What about protecting our pride and the pride of our people? Should we just be a bunch of wimps and not react?

          We asked Dr. Goldman, a Psychologist at Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, on how he explains road rage. He says we first have to understand what makes us so defensive and tempted to react. The doctor explains that the anger reaction stems from pride; the ego has been hurt. We have to learn from King David. When David ran away, Shimi ben Gera insulted him and he did not react right away. David didn’t allow “road rage” to take the better of him. This is a person who was able to control himself while in the moment. He didn’t give an immediate irrational response. Apparently, it was very difficult for him to control himself, but, because he represented G-d, he did.

          Dr. Goldman said that one has to believe and say “I can take these insults. I’m okay. I’m not less of a person than I was before the insults.” It would be a sign of insecurity if one would let it get to him. Ah, but the kids are watching as I’m being insulted and I shouldn’t react? The good doctor says one should handle the insults with dignity, then the kids will respect you. You’re not a baby. Don’t let it bother you. If they see that you are not bothered and affected by those insults, they will respect you more. The notion of the ‘American cowboy’, to take care of him at the ‘OK coral’ is nonsense. One has to understand, one can lose everything in one moment. Is it worth it?

          We see control is something one has to master. Interestingly the kippa and the car, in our story, were two tools that could have been used to benefit us or to hurt us. It’s up to us how we use them; they can be weapons or peacekeeper; that depends on us.

          This is best illustrated by Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz famous discourse on parshat Noach titled ” Noach’s Arc”. Rav Chaim takes the concept of “the tools of life” to a different level.