Tag Archive for Present

A special gift any spouse would love

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of  Rabbi Yissachar Frand
How wonderful it would be if our wise human nature can be intuitive enough to appreciate what life’s gifts are. It’s sometimes a shame that one realizes after the fact. What often happens, when we pursue that what we rejected and then afterwords try to reconnect again, however, by then it’s too late.
After hearing this fascinating story from Rabbi Yissachar Frand, I realized something about myself and my family and realized how the Torah is the Emet. The two stories main message, I believe,  are the essence,  of my personal existence.
Rabbi  Yissachar Frand found this particular story from the Sefer  Otzrot HaTorah:
A Jew named Rav Simcha Kaplan was a Rabbi in Tzfat. When he was younger he studied in the Mir Yeshiva in Poland and he recalls the following story. He used to board by a couple who lived near the Mir Yeshiva. One Friday morning, he heard the wife repeat to her husband several times “Make sure you come home early for Shabbos. When Simcha arrived later in the day, he saw that the wife was waiting by the window and she was full of anxiety. He asked her, “What are you so worried about?” She says “I’m worried about Shabbos!” He said, “It is not going to be Shabbos for another 4 hours, what are you so worried about?”
She responded with the following story: We were childless for many years. Finally, we had a child. We raised the child, but he was sickly. He did not grow, he did not eat, he was weak, he did not walk until he was much older. He was very frail. We consulted with the doctors here in Mir. They sent us to a specialist in Vilna who told us that the child had a heart problem. The specialist said “There is nothing I can do for this child. He will only live a couple of more years. There is nothing more anyone can do for this child. Do not waste your money. Do not waste your time. You will only have the child for a couple of more years.” They were heart-broken. Someone advised them that on the way back from Vilna to Mir, they should stop in Radin and ask the Chofetz Chaim for a blessing. This was late in the life of the Chofetz Chaim. He was already very weak and was not seeing people. They were not able to arrange a visit at first, however, with some difficulty they finally were able to see him. They told the Chofetz Chaim their situation about their son and begged him to do something for them. The Chofetz Chaim said “There is nothing I can do for you. I am very sorry.” The person who arranged the meet, who had accompanied them, then yelled out, “but it is their only child!” The Chofetz Chaim said”, “It is an only child? Then I will tell you what to do!” He spoke to the mother and said “I want you to accept upon yourself from this day on that every Erev Shabbos by noon you will have the table already set for Shabbos and have the candles ready to be lit. I want that from the time you light Shabbos candles, nobody in the house will do any melacha [forbidden labor].” (Even though according to the strict law, when a woman lights candles 18 minutes before sunset, other members of the household can still do melacha until sunset.) The woman readily accepted this proposal.
By the time they arrived back in Mir — a two day journey from Radin – the child was already showing signs of improvement. He started eating, he started gaining weight, and so forth. They brought the child back to the doctor in Mir and he was astounded by the improvement. He insisted they go back to the specialist in Vilna to show him the child and paid for their journey. The specialist saw the child’s improvement and refused to believe that it was the same child.
But this story is somewhat perplexing. Why is it that the Chofetz Chaim only seemed to have mercy for the child when he heard that it was an only child? What if she had 10 other children? Would the Chofetz Chaim not have been sympathetic to the plight of the parents and the sickly child in that situation? Furthermore, what kind of “segulah” is this business of being ready for Shabbos at mid-day, several hours before the halachic arrival of Shabbos? The whole story requires explanation!
Rabbi Frand heard an explanation of what this story is all about from Rav Mannis Mandel. Rav Mandel said the Chofetz Chaim was not a Chassidic Rebbe and he was not a miracle worker. But the Chofetz Chaim understood the meaning of a pasuk in Chumash. “And the Children of Israel shall observe the Shabbos (v’Shamru), to make the Shabbos an eternal covenant for their generations (l’Dorotom)…” [Shmos 31:12]
Rav Mannis Mandel explains that the word “v’Shamru” has two meanings. It can mean – you have to OBSERVE it (meticulously) or it can mean – you have to ANTICIPATE it (as in the pasuk “And his father SHAMAR et haDavar” [Bereshis 37:11]). The Chofetz Chaim interpreted: You want “l’Dorotom” – the preservation of your generations (through this only child). If this child will not live, then you will not have future generations. But the Torah says that if there is – v’Shamru- to observe and anticipate Shabbos, there will be l’Dorotom – future generations. Therefore, fulfill “v’Shamru” according to both meanings. The simple interpretation of v’Shamru is observing it. When you light candles, no one in your house should do any more melacha. But beyond that, v’Shamru also means to anticipate it. From noon on, I want you to expect and anticipate the Shabbos. Therefore, the table must be set and the candles need to be ready.
This is why the woman stood at the window. It was 12:00 o’clock and sunset was not until 5:00 o’clock. She was anxious — where is my husband? What was her problem? The answer is because she accepted upon herself to do more than merely observe the Shabbos. She needed to anticipate the Shabbos as well. That is the interpretation of the story: She fulfilled both aspects of “v’Shamru.” Therefore, they saw in their family “l’dorotom” (future generations).
After reading this story, I’m compelled to inform the readers of my personal story.
One of the reasons my parents settled in the United states arriving in 1960 is because they had difficulty in having children. They were married for ten years before they made the  pilgrimage to New York. After a year they went to see the Lubavitcher Rebbe for a bracha. The Rebbe said to my parents “commit to be total Shabbat observers right at this very moment and you’ll have a baby boy in nine months.”.  My parents committed. A month before I was born my father visited 770, the Lubavitch head quarters, motzei Pesach-end of Pesach, where the custom is to celebrate, where the Rebbe called out in the crowd my father’s name, signaling him to come over. He then, assured my father everything is progressing well and that my parents will have, G-d willing, a baby boy next month.
Although, at times, one is guided by messengers, in the right path, and in this case it was, a great tzadic, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, who pushed my parents to be Shabbat observers, however, it could, very well be others. Nevertheless, the message is clear, Shabbat is powerful!! Shabbat is a game changer, Life changer!!

I found a very interesting observation by the Sfat Emet-Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter (1847-1905)
We are focusing here on the word “shamor”. The pasuk that “shamor” calls up in our minds is: ‘Shamor et yom Ha’shabbot…’ That is: ‘Take proper care of Shabbot’.) (Devarim, 5, 14).
The Sfat Emet reacts to this idea with astonishment. He asks: Why does Shabbos need special care? He replies by alluding to a classic Medrash (a body of exegesis of Torah texts along with homiletic stories as taught by Chazal (Rabbinical Jewish sages of the post-Temple era) that provide an intrinsic analysis to passages in the Tanakh.). Although This Medrash may seems a bit corny and not very understandable, however, after seeing this definition, it brought an entirely new perspective of the Medrash. The Medrash describes how, after the first week of creation, all the days of the week paired up with each other. Yom Rishon paired with Yom Sheini (Sunday with Monday), and likewise all the other days of the week — except Shabbot, which could find no mate. When Shabbot

 told  G-d how unhappy she was for lack of a mate, G-d replied: “Klal Yisroel-the Israelites will be ben zugeich (your marriage partner).” Thus, the Sfat Emet is telling us that just as a wife is given to her husband to provide her with proper care, (“husband” actually means “to take care of”), so, too, does Shabbot need us to take proper care of her. And, continues the Sfat Emet, our relationship with Shabbot is reciprocal; i.e., it goes in both directions. Thus, we are commanded (Shemot, 35: 3) to observe Shabbot wherever we live (“be’chol moshe’votei’chem”). So, too, Shabbot has stuck loyally with Klal Yisroel in all of our distant dwellings. Further, Shabbot gives chiyut (vitality; vibrancy) to all creation.  It is the source of all the brachot in the world and especially those who observe it amongst the Jewish people. In other words it’s like a marriage where each partner takes care of the other.
Interestingly, a marriage has to have its loyalty between the spouses. The Mechilta in Parshat Ki Sisa states that the words -Baynee u’bein Bnei Yisrael (which is also recited in the kiddush and prayer) imply that Shabbos is a covenant between G-d and the Jews, to the exclusion of being a covenant between G-d and idolaters. Now, this seems peculiar. We do not need a special drasha [exegesis] to teach that a Gentile is not commanded to observe the Sabbath. We know that there are 7 Noachide laws, none of which involves a Gentile keeping Shabbot.
In fact, by Shabbot – there is a unique prohibition. The Talmud [Sanhedrin 58b] teaches that not only is a Gentile not commanded to observe Shabbot, but on the contrary, a Gentile is not permitted to purposefully keep Shabbos! So the question is, why does the Mechilta find it necessary to marshal a special pasuk “Baynee u’bein Bnei Yisarel” to tell us that the mitzvah of Shabbot only applies to the Jewish people?

  The Rambam  writes in his Mishna Commentary that a Gentile who performs any of the commandments, receives some reward as one who “is not obligated but nevertheless fulfills”. In other words, if we were to see a Gentile putting on Tefillin, he has fulfilled a mitzvah and gets “some reward”.
However, the Brisker Rav points out, Shabbot is not like that. Shabbot is two things: It is a mitzvah [commandment] and it is a matanah [gift]. The Talmud [Shabbot 10b] quotes the Almighty telling Moshe “I have a wonderful present in my Treasure House and its name is Shabbot”. The present was given to the Jewish people. Any nation that was not a recipient of this present is not able to observe Shabbot and even if they go through the motions of observing it, they have not fulfilled any mitzvah.
Tzitsit is not a present. Matzah is not a present. Tefillin is not a present. Shabbos is! The novelty of the idea of the Brisker Rav is that in order to fulfill the mitzvah of Shabbot, one needs to be included among the recipients of the present. This idea is  emphasized in the  portion of the Shachris Amidah on Shabbot.
It is for this reason that a Gentile may not observe Shabbot. He is taking something that doesn’t belong to him!
Rav Moshe Shapira suggests that this is precisely what the above referenced Mechilta means. Baynee u’Bein Bnai Yisrael means “it is my present to you” — to the exclusion of a Gentile who is not even eligible to receive a reward as one who is not commanded but observes.

The matana – present is the bride!! She is given as a wedding present by G-d to the chattan (Jewish people) and only the chattan!!. A wife is not shared. Both Israel and Shabbot have to be loyal to each other. No outsider is allowed; loyalty in the marriage is expected. Both spouses have to take care of each other. Both infuse their input into the marriage and both have to commit to each other.
Rabbi Simcha Kaplan’ landlords commited to take care, to anticipate the Shabbot; they commited. In turn, Shabbot committed to them and revived their child. My parents also committed to Shabbot and in return Shabbot committed to them, G-d willing, for generations! Amein!