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Parshat Chayei Sarah

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Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Chayei Sarah

November 17, 2011
20 Cheshvan, 5772

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In This Issue
Parshat Chayei Sarah Highlights
Parshat Chayei Sarah – The Art of Adapting
Source of Tradition
Important Note Before Shabbat

Parshat Chayei Sarah Highlights
 

* We open the parsha with the narrative accounting of Sarah’s (Abraham’s wife) age, implying that she has passed on.

 

* Abraham buys a burial plot (Ma’arat Hamachpela) from Efron Hachiti (this is where Adam and Eve are buried).

 

* Abraham sends Eliezer, his trusted advisor, to Charan, to find a wife for his son Yitzchak.

 

* As Eliezer arrives at the outskirts of Charan, he camps by the well where a young girl offers to serve him and his camels water. Eliezer’s prayers were answered because the girl who showed the tremendous kindness was none other than Rivka, the daughter of Betuel, Abraham’s relative. Eliezer knew he has met Yitzchak’s soul mate.

 

* Eliezer consummates the deal with Rivka’s family; here, we are introduced to Lavan, Rivka’s brother, for the first time.

 

* Eliezer brings her home to Yitzchak where they become husband and wife.

 

* Abraham marries Keturah (Rashi says she is Hagar) where she bears him 6 sons, all of which got presents and were sent away; meaning they were not the primary sons of Abraham.

 

* Abraham dies at the age 175 and his sons Yitzchak and Yishmael bury him.

 

* Yishmael dies.

Parshat Chayei Sarah – The Art of Adapting
abraham's tent

In life, one must learn to adapt to a situation, whether it be work, school, marriage, birth, death, diet, or with friends. No matter how harsh living conditions may be, no matter how difficult the environment, no matter how irritating or obnoxious the person, a human being is able to adapt and survive. But, we shall shortly learn from the teaching of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, that there is an important ingredient, which should be infused in the process of adapting, in order for it to be successful.

It is this message, which will clarify to us the difference between Abraham’s reaction to G-d’s command to bring his son Yitzchak as a sacrifice, as opposed to that of his wife Sarah. Abraham was eager to fulfill G-d’s command. Sarah, on the other hand, when she heard what had transpired, could not bear the news, and died instantly. How can two great people have reacted so differently to the same event? What makes this question even more puzzling, was that Sarah was on a higher level then her husband in prophecy.

The answer is that Abraham was made aware in agradual manner that Yitzchak was to be brought as a sacrifice, thus allowing his feelings and emotions to adapt to the challenge awaiting him. G-d told him ‘Take your son’ then ‘your only son whom you love’. Only then did he inform him that Yitzchak was to be sacrificed.Thus, if Abraham had been confronted suddenly that it was Yitzchak who was to be sacrificed, he would not have survived. It was the gradual realization of this fact that made him digest this. He was therefore able to perform G-d’s command. Such was not the case with Sarah who was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization of what had happened and died resulting from the shock.

Another example of how delicate and gradual one must be, is G-d’s reaction after Adam sinned by eating from the tree of knowledge. G-d appeared close to Adam and asked ‘Where are you?’ G-d knew where Adam was, but He wanted to confront him in a manner that he would not be startled. The guilt of his sin was overwhelming; any sudden confrontation would have emotionally destroyed Adam.

Let’s not forget Serach bat Asher, the granddaughter of our father Yaacov, who played the harp singing ‘Yosef (his favorite son who was presumed dead for 22 years) is still alive and living in Egypt’. The overwhelming sudden joy would have been proven too much and would have killed him. Serach presented it in a delicate, clever gradual way in which Yaacov was able to comprehend without the shocking affect.

The Gemarah (Sotah13a) states that soon after Yaacov’s death, seventeen years later, when Yaacov’s sons were taking his body to the Cave of Machpela for burial, a confrontation took place between his sons and his evil brother Eisav. Eisav came and protested that the plot of land (Cave of Machpela) belonged to him. A debate ensued and it was decided that one of the brothers would return to Egypt and retrieve the deed to show that Yaacov indeed owned the property.

A deaf grandson Chushim (son of Naftali) wondered, why the cause of the delay? When they communicated with him, he exclaimed ‘What? Our grandfather will lie in degradation until the deed is brought?’ whereupon he immediately killed Eisav.

Why was Chushim, a grandson, more concerned about Yaacov’s honor than Yaacov’s own sons? Rav Chaim answers, all the brothers had been slowly drawn into the argument with Eisav, gradually dulling their sensitivity to their father’s shame. Chushim, being deaf, was completely unaware of the situation. When he realized the reason for the delay, he could not contain his anger and killed Eisav.

One has to be aware of the delicate nature of man. He has to approach situations gradually. Furthermore, man must be aware and use his most powerful tool ‘to speak’  properly by delivering news, whether good or bad, gradually, so the process of adapting should go smoothly and successfully.

Source of Tradition 
   spark plug

             At the beginning of this week’s parsha, we find Abraham busy arranging his wife Sarah’s funeral. Although the Bible is not a history book, it also does not show the emotional side of our forefathers either. However, through our traditions and our other sources that depict the human emotional side, we are able to feel the pulse of our ancestors. Such is the case of Abraham, in this difficult situation of the death of his beloved wife.

We learn from our sages that Abraham and Sarah were very close and showed tremendous respect for each other. They had a common goal and sought to accomplish it through their different personalities. Abraham was charismatic and outgoing, while Sarah’s virtue was modesty.

One should note that one of the most beautiful experiences of love for a Jew is the Friday night Shabbat table (if its performed correctly); and one of the traditions is for a husband to recite (sing) eshet chayil (woman of valor) in front of his wife. In this recitation, which is found in the last chapter of King Solomon’s Mishlai, it describes the virtue of the beloved wives of Israel. The sages and many commentaries are in unison that eshet chayil is based on the emotional eulogy in which Abraham presented at his wife Sarah’s funeral. As far as tradition goes this piut, (poem) goes back 4000 years to that emotional day when there wasn’t a dry-eyed person listening to Abraham express his love, one last time, for his wife.

The family is brought together Friday night, when the power of Shabbat focuses on bringing the family closer through love and respect, just as Abraham had for his wife Sarah.

Important Note Before Shabbat 
   parking ticket

            Did you know that if one lights Shabbat candles on a table, even after the candles are extinguished on the table upon which it was standing, the table cannot be moved until after Shabbat is over. The table is muktzah.

Muktzah items are those that are not allowed to be moved on Shabbat. It’s a rabbinical law created as a fence to prevent one from stumbling and violating Shabbat. These preventive measures are fences, which are essential to the survival and to our commitment of the commandment ‘keeping the Shabbat’.

I can understand why one can’t move the table while the candles are lit; the reason is, candles are more prone to be put out while moving and one might be tempted to light them again, therefore violating the Shabbat.

But why can’t one move the table after the candles are no longer lit? The answer is, the lit candles and the tables, which was muktzah during the period of bein hashmashot, are at a frozen state until after Shabbat.

Bein hashmashot is a time period between sunset and nightfall that many commentaries say has an unknown status of what day it belongs to. One can also reach tremendous spiritual heights during this period, especially Friday afternoon before Shabbat. If I may ask the readers, what is the most important prayer of the year? The answer is ‘Neilah’ on Yom Kippur, which is purposely said during bein hashmashot. The reason being is that during bein hashmashot on Friday is when Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, sinned. Therefore, we try to fix their mistake. Apparently, if one notices that on many occasions, there is friction between a husband and wife during this time. One has to rectify and be extra careful and to know that he should try to withstand any hardships at bein hashmashot, and then he will reap tremendous rewards. Perhaps this is why the prayer eshet chayil (woman of valor) is said Friday night at the Shabbat table after bein hashmashot, after the uncomfortable nature Adam and Eve had towards one another. Eshet chayil is reconciliation and is to reaffirm the commitment of husband and wife.

Rabbi Akiva Tatz mentions that when one passes on to the next world, there is an unknown status between life and death where the person experiences nothing but darkness. During this period, the evil powers tries to convince the individual, “you see there is nothing here; all this talk about life after death and heaven is all nonsense. It was just a farce that the Rabbis wanted you to believe.” If one believes and is convinced this is true, he loses everything; he loses it all. His status, which consists of his thoughts and belief at that moment, is frozen for eternity. He could have been a big tzadik all his life, but lose it all at that crucial moment of in-between. This is the reason that it’s recommended for a loved one to say shema yisrael when one leaves the world. The soul is in a scared and confused state; it needs strength from any source it can get.

We tend to rush and lose our cool trying to get all things done before Shabbat. Please use caution during this period.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience