Tag Archive for Shimi ben Gera

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

Everyone has a favorite teacher…do you?

this article was constructed from the insights of Rabbi Akiva Grunblatt, Rosh Yeshiva Chaffetz Chaim, Rabbi’s Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus

Each one of us had a favorite teacher who had a great deal of influence on us. Some actually had more than a few teachers over the years that fall under that “favorite” category. When we look back, with a certain fondness about them, a memorable smile breaks out.
However, one has to ask himself, has this person actually made a difference when a crucial decision came into play? Were they there, in our conscience, when the game was on the line? Was their teaching tested and we were able to take their words of wisdom to the finish line and declare “I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”?

YOSEF THE DREAMER

In this week’s parsha, we find Yosef telling over to his brothers the dreams he had. The Torah’s description of the dreams and the reaction of Yosef’s brothers are quite puzzling.
First and foremost, to say his brothers weren’t exactly thrilled about him and his dreams would be considered a huge understatement. They were contemplating killing him as a result.
But there is a substantial lesson that can be learned from this story that is applicable in our everyday life. Let’s examine the verses more carefully and get a deeper understanding.
The first dream that Yosef had involves sheaves. Yosef tells his brothers that their sheaves gathered around and bowed down to his sheaves.
The second dream was basically the same theme; Yosef revealed to them that the sun and the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.
The brothers were angry and responded to the first dream by saying “Do you want to rule over us?” while there was no response from them after the second one.
The Torah states that the brothers hated him after the first dream was revealed while the scripture says the brothers were jealous after the second one.
Why was the reaction to each dream any different from the other?
What’s the difference between the two dreams?
Referring to the second dream it says “His father took it to heart”.
Why did his father take the second dream more serious?
In the first sequence about sheaves or stalks as its focal point, the scripture is hinting to a materialistic dominance. Its message, for the future, is that the brothers will depend on Yosef for their sustenance.
When someone sees his friend that’s financially more stable then he, he often questions why this is so. “He’s not better than me. We’re the same in many ways. Perhaps that’s just plain old mazal.” However, human nature is for hatred to develop as a result
The brothers knew that dreams for the most part are a reflection of the sub-conscience. They concluded, “This is what he’s thinking of us. He wants to be our boss”.
The brothers, though, took the second dream a bit more serious. The scenario of the sun, moon and the stars is a spiritual concept. Here, they realized that it’s not a reflection of the sub-conscience but a spiritual revelation. Therefore they were jealous of Yosef’s motivational and spiritual abilities. There is a Talmudic concept of SHTIKA KEH HODA’A – silence is a form of admittance.
Yaakov, their father, although he did not admit it, was startled by the second dream. The reason is that only Yaakov knew that in the heavens they referred to him as the sun.

It seams like the Torah is hinting that Yosef possessed certain abilities, which perhaps came through personal teachings from his father, as a gift from the heavens, or a combination of both. Apparently, life is such that the narrative will soon reveal that this gifted person will soon be tested.

In order to fully understand the magnitude of Yosef’s test, we have to examine a very interesting part of our Jewish history.
Yeush was born in the midst of troublesome days in the land of Judea, in the year 3055 (after Creation). He became king at the age of six!! (3061). The Jewish nation was divided into two kingdoms. On the throne, which once belonged to King David and King Solomon, sat a ruthless and cruel queen. Her name was Athalya, the daughter of Queen Jezebel, the Phoenician princess whom the wicked King Ahab of the Northern Jewish Kingdom of the Ten Tribes had married. In an effort to bring the two Jewish kingdoms into friendlier relations, the two royal houses intermarried. The crown prince Joram, the son of King Jehoshaphat of Judea, married Athalyah the daughter of Ahab and Jezebel.
After many heavy, underhanded, dirty and deadly maneuvering, Athalyah took control of the Monarch. One of her decree’s to assure she will rule undisputedly was that she resolved that there should be no heir to the throne of Judea from the House of David. She ordered the death of all the members of the royal house of King David, and established herself as the supreme ruler of the land of Judea. She surrounded herself with friends from Phoenicia and ruled with an iron hand, spreading a reign of terror in the land.
Athalyah felt secure in her position, believing that the royal house of David was extinct. But she was wrong, for G-d had promised that the line of King David would never be broken. Ahaziah’s youngest son, whom Athalyah had believed had been murdered with the other male members of the royal family, had been saved from his bloodthirsty grandmother. He was still a baby, and his name was Yeush. He was saved by Jehosheba, a sister of King Ahaziah and the wife of the High Priest Yehoyada. Astonishingly, the one year old prince was hidden in the Bet Hamikdash, above a room by the “Kodash Hakadoshim” and brought up, secretly, by his pious and G-d fearing uncle and aunt.
For six years Athalyah ruled uncontrolled, dealing harshly with the believers in G-d. During all this time, Yehoyada, the wise and pious High Priest, nursed in his heart the secret hope for the future of his people that was centered around the last member of David’s dynasty. Yehoyada had many friends and followers, who, like himself, had remained faithful to the pure worship of G-d, and who longed for the day when the hateful Athalyah could be overthrown, and the House of David reinstated on the throne of the Holy Land.
When little Yeush was seven years old, Yehoyada decided that the time had come to liberate Judea from the unpopular foreign woman who had desecrated the throne of David.
The coup attempt was successful with no resistance whatsoever. Athalya was executed and Yeush became king. He reigned for forty years, and was one of the outstanding kings of Judea.
However, after Yehoyada died, Yeush fell under the influence of the wrong people and was led astray into a life of ease and luxury. He abandoned the pure worship of One G-d, and began to indulge in the service of the Baal. Yeush fell so low that shockingly he killed the great Prophet Zacharia, who happened to be the son of Yehoyada, the same person who saved his life, the one who had nurtured, taught and cared for him through the years!!
How can you bite the hand that feeds you?
How can Yeush fall so low after the death of his teacher?
We see a similar situation after the death of Shimi ben Gaira the teacher and mentor of the wisest man who ever lived, King Shlomo. Shlomo began to slip and make errors in judgment after his death.
We learn a valuable lesson about communication and teaching. There are basically two ways one can convey the valuable message:
LEHOROT- giving instructions
LILMOD- teaching until one stands on his/her own two feet
It’s not ideal to memorize the manual one has to understand the content.
Yosef was tested with one of the most difficult situations in the history of physical temptations. He was being seduced, unsuccessfully though, with the beautiful wife of his employer on a daily basis.
The boss’s wife, eshet Potifar, would up the ante at every occasion until it reached a boiling point where she forcefully tried to have relations with him. Yosef at the moment of truth envisioned his father, his teacher. This motivated, or I should say distracted, him from pursuing sinning with a married woman.

Yaakov successfully taught Yosef the valuable lesson of standing on his own feet. It’s not enough to be gifted. One has to use these skills properly. This is the spiritual greatness of Yosef.
There was a huge epidemic where many Jews were killed at the time of King David because he counted the people. For this reason we have a tradition to never count individual Jews. The Sages teach us that the reason there was death and suffering was because the Temple wasn’t built during David’s time.
Why is it the people’s fault? It was David that had blood on his hands and G-d wouldn’t allow him to build it. Why blame the people?
The Sages say, “Granted. David wasn’t worthy. However the people were. The nation of Israel delayed the building. They should have voiced their opinion ” Why don’t we have a temple?”.and “Let’s start a petition!!” ” They should have began some grass roots. One friend persuading another and perhaps one farmer from the Galil would be responsible in starting the building process.
Rav Henoch always would say “There is permission in one not using his brains”. It’s imperative that a Jew internalizes what he learns and who knows? Perhaps one may discover a way to bring the Mashiach quicker.
There was a college Professor who relayed a story that many years ago there was a psychological case study of inner-city ghetto schools where they would interview 200 students. The motive of the test was to predict, through mathematical analysis, the outcome of these students. As one can expect, many of the student came from broken, one-parent homes.
The result wasn’t very promising that these students would amount to anything.
Twenty years later, this Professor, who happened to be one of those students, was curious to know how these students turned out.
After an extensive research of tracking them down He was astonished to discover how off the mark the study was. 80% of the students were living a productive life.
The professor decided to probe deeper into how these students beat the odds. He interviewed each one and found a common denominator, which was one particular teacher that they all liked.
He was curious to meet this teacher, although twenty years latter he didn’t think she was still alive. Nevertheless after researching further he tracked her down at a particular nursing home. She was in her eighties. The professor went to visit the teacher. He asked her “What was your key to success?” She said “I tried to instill in them a sense of self. I had a motivating slogan “No matter what, you can do it”. These students and Yosef had this in common. They can honestly say that the influence their teachers had on them made a difference, especially when it counted. They can say with full assurance “”I WON!! I PASSED THE TEST!!!”

The Rebellious Streak In All of Us

This article is based on the writings of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, and Rav Eliyahu Dessler. Addition help and insights were provided by Rabbis Jay Shapiro, Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilus, Uri Sklaar, and Dr. Robert Goldman.
  

       The Hollywood movie formula is pretty much the same. So many people have seen this scenario at one point or another, whether on flat screen, the computer, or even on their iphones: Two people are having an adulterous affair when the husband walks into the house. The adulterer jumps off the couch and hides behind the curtain. The audience wonders if he’s going to get caught as the wife tries to divert his attention from where the other man is hiding.
The husband is hungry, having not eaten after a long day at work, decides to nibble on the berries that he finds by the window sill. The adulterer see’s this and jumps out from where he was hiding, grabbing the berries from the husbands hand.
Apparently the berries were poisonous
Why did the adulterer save him?
Did he feel guilty and even feel a little remorse?
Perhaps he now feels, hey! I saved your life so as compensation your wife is mine.
Or perhaps there’s a different reason…
This scenario is not a Hollywood contraption; it’s actually a Gemara found at the end of tractate Nedarim.
The Gemara seems to indicate that the adulterer is not really an adulterer; after all why would he save him?
Isn’t it the best interest of the adulterer to have the husband dead?
“Perhaps not” Rava says and introduces us to a very interesting concept found all through our holy books.
MAYIM G’NIVIM NIMTAKU- stolen waters are sweet
Rava teaches us that the adulterer wants to keep the husband alive so that the affair with his wife would be exciting. Otherwise it wouldn’t be pleasurable.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz takes a similar story one step further stating that there are people would testify in court that the husband is alive even though he’s really dead. They want to create a pseudo adulterous environment as they make advances on  the wife
Rav Chaim was puzzled about this; “the person testifying knows he’s dead! How can he say he’s alive and derive pleasure?
He wants to create an imaginary married woman because ‘stolen waters are sweeter’.

One can find the story quite bazaar, to say the least, one would think, hey, there are many desperados out there. Or perhaps one might think the dude’s who think like that are sicko’s.

It’s a mind boggling thought that one can go to such an extreme!!

The Talmud hints this idea again in a difficult Gemara found in Sanhedrin (75). It’s funny, though, many in our day and age have had  infatuations over girls, however the Talmud seems to indicate that on rare occasions an  innocent crush could lead to devastating  results:
Again I paraphrase:
Someone has eyes on a woman and desires her and it seems like it’s having a serious psychological impact on his health. He becomes terribly sick as result of his infatuation to a point where death is imminent.
How can we save him?
Can we allow him to have relations with her?
No.
Can we allow the woman to undress before him so he can be satisfied and then cured?
The answer is no.
Can we allow him to speak to her behind a partitioner perhaps he would be satiated and be cured?
The answer is no.
Because of modesty laws we cannot degrade our Jewish girls.
So the Gemara asks a question.
Why doesn’t he simply just marry her? …..That will cure him!
The Gemara answers “It wouldn’t help, he would not receive the high caliber pleasure needed to quench his desire and recuperate from the psychological damage because, as his wife, she is permitted to him. Once she is permitted the pleasure is not as strong.
Better he die then to sin.

Why is the Talmud in various places insinuating that a married woman or someone who is not permissible is more desirable then one who is single?
What allure does a married woman have?
Perhaps this next story in the prophets will shed some light.

King Shlomo the smartest man that ever lived…..

       King Solomon was the smartest man who ever lived. When his father, King David, was on his deathbed, he instructed his son, Shlomo, to use his own discretion (to kill) in dealing with Shimi ben Gera, who cursed the King (David) many years before. The verbal offensive remark by Shimi against the king is punishable by death, but for reasons undisclosed at that time, David did not act.  After the death of his father, King Solomon summoned Shimi ben Gera and instructed him not to leave the boundaries of Jerusalem or he will be killed. ‘Build a house, learn Torah within the walls of the city; live your life till old age in Jerusalem. But don’t step outside the city or else’. Pretty easy, huh?  We learn that it was extremely difficult for Shimi to stay in the confines of Jerusalem and to keep the arrangement, which Shlomo mapped out. Eventually he crossed the line and the King ordered his execution
 Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz asks, ‘I don’t understand, why Shimi ben Gera couldn’t keep this simple arrangement? He was a very intelligent G-d fearing man. Plus, I know families that haven’t left Jerusalem for seven generations”. Many of us have relatives who have not left Israel and have no desire to leave anytime soon. It’s mind boggling how he wasn’t able to keep such a simple command’.

Apparently, man was born with an instinct to rebel, to break barriers and even a desire for imaginary barriers. Dr. Robert Goldman, psychologist for Chofetz Chaim Yeshiva, quotes Rav Volve, ‘Man’s nature strives for independence. He has an attitude ‘just to prove I don’t have to listen to you’ and they constantly create a situation to rebel. Ever wonder why some people violate Shabbat even though it’s clear in the Torah of the grave consequences; subconsciously they say ‘let’s see if I can get away with it’.
Dr. Goldman read a survey where bosses that married their secretaries, after a number of years, most relationships broke off. He mentions very often interest is lost in many of the cases. The relation, being now permissible, took all the fun out. He says it’s “the same when a couple move in together out of wedlock only to break up after they tie the knot. Why? On a sub-conscience level they’re rebelling against society, rebelling against the norm of getting married feels good.
In this week’s parsha, Ki Teitzei, we learn if a man goes to war and captures a woman from the enemy and desires her, and the Jewish soldier wants to take her home with him (prized stolen waters), the Torah permits him to do so but puts provisions; she has to shave her head, grow her nails long, and not see her parents for a period of time. Apparently, the Torah knows man will not be able to withstand the desire. Therefore, the Torah with it’s wisdom, tries to defuse ‘the forbidden fruits’ by making it legal, but with a few minor conditions. Apparently, the Torah believes that when the pressure subsides and the soldier doesn’t feel the rebellious streak, the desire for her will go away.

       Television was a big influence on our generation in America. Even more so were the commercials where so many of us fell to our knees and swallowed the Kool-Aid.

A friend mentioned how he once, at age fourteen, went, incognito, to the fast food non kosher hamburger restaurant, famous for its very appetizing commercials. Years ago fast food restaurants advertised very heavily and successfully. My friend bought a burger and quickly snuck in a very empty movie theater so no one can see him and ate it. I remember back then, him telling me how incredible it was.
However I asked him later in life how was that hamburger?
Do you recall the incident with the hamburger? I asked.
He said it was nothing special. It was just the fact that he wasn’t allowed to eat it, that made him feel the excitement.

The feeling of rebelliousness gives a person a sense of satisfaction.
         How many readers out there feel that their class was the worst behaved class ever? ‘What we did to that school, boy, were they glad to get rid of us. You know we left a mark’. It’s nice to feel your class was the worst in the history of the world, isn’t it?
There is a famous question……
       Which is harder….a person not commanded to do a mitzvah and does it anyway or a person who is commanded to do a mitzvah and does it? The answer is simple; a person who is commanded has the greater challenge since he now has the extra struggle of holding back from rebelling.
So after all this it seems we have build in us the tendency to rebel. Yet we were brought up believing that every Jewish soul is pure. Deep down inside all we want to do is good. This is in contrast to the rebellious streak in all of us…So which is it?
There seems to be a contradicting message. Rebellious streak or pure soul?
The Mystics say there is an extreme importance in saying the first blessing mentioning Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov in the Amida, which is considered the most important passage in prayer we have.
Man lost his purity as the result of the sin of eating from the tree. Through their experiences our three fathers Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov brought back a degree of that pure soul.  They instilled it into our spiritual DNA.
Throughout our lives we are in constant battle between the rebellious nature and the pure soul.
King Solomon knew human nature the minute you put barriers on someone or tell him not to do something, the task becomes harder, even to a man as great as Shimi.
Shimi was not able to dig in deep and connect to the pure soul of our forefathers thereby succumbing to a rebellious streak
 David didn’t kill Shimi because he foresaw from divine knowledge that in the future he will produce children and from them the great Mordechai will come out. He therefore commanded Shlomo his son to implement the plan that would lead to his demise. This occurred after he gave birth to the future Tzadik Mordechai.