Tag Archive for Tamar

Jewish monarchy

 

This article was constructed with the help of either writings, lectures or shiurim of Rabbi’s  Baruch Dopelt, Yossi Bilius, Pinchas Winston, Asher Hurzberg and Dr. Abba Goldman

In our illustrious glorious past we’ve often yearned for the mashiach.  When we were in grade school we had to recite that “we believe whole heartedly that Mashiach is coming”. Mashiach this and Mashiach that. There have been many songs sung, manypsalms read, There even was a period where many of our people were killed for they thought that time had come and were careless, where they’re usually very careful,  in dealing with  gentiles arousing their  hostility and Anti-Semitism only to be disappointed with a false prophet.
 How ironic it is then, the proud Jews that we are, with our glorious past, the beautiful temple both past and future, that the Mashiach signs in through an undignified manor. We would never write a Hollywood script like this. Here, there is no poor or rich young couple who loves each other, have a baby (Mashiach), is allergic to kryptonite, and can’t keep him etc. It’s quite different script. One cannot complain “this movie is predictable -same formula”.
 Let us take a look at the relevant places in the Torah and perhaps, dig deep, learn some insights into the mashiach
This is where the Jewish monarch and the  Mashiach comes from……..
         Uncharacistaly, Yehuda, leader of the tribes visits  a prostitute, who is his daughter-in law in disguise. The Sages, say that the cohabitation of Yehuda, Tamar, his daughter in law, resulted in the inception of the Mashiach……Go Figure!! (Please see highlight section for full synopsis)
  One may ask, how can the Mashiach come in such a degrading way?
Wait there is more!
        *The seed of the Mashiach was also implanted in a bazar way by Lott,  Avrahams nephew, After the destruction of Sedom, Lott’s two surviving daughters believed that the world was destroyed. They devised a plan to seduce their father on back to back consecutive nights after getting him drunk where they will procreate and populate the world once again. Ruth, is a descendant of this union The oldest son/grandchild Moav is where Ruth, the grandmother of king David, comes from.
        * Boaz, a widower,  a leader and descendant  of the tribe of Yehudah marries Ruth, the convert, a widow herself to the childless son of Elimelech, a descendant of Yehuda as well.  The courtship was strange, Ruth appear that night on the threshing floor  to be as close as possible to the fields at a critical time in the harvest. Niomi, her mother in law, instructs Ruth to uncover Boaz’s feet so as to wake him and set the process of “yibum” in motion. Pretty odd isn’t it. The union between Boaz and Ruth was in question for A Israelite is forbidden to marry from Moav. Boaz died the next morning after their wedding night and Ruth gave up her child to Niomi to raise.
         *King David marries Bat-Sheva in one of the most controversial union in our history. Did he usher Bat Sheva’s husband to the battlefield in what was presumably a death wish? The marriage between David and Bat-Sheva produced King Shlomo
This is our royal past?
 In our current mindset or Western mentality we, perhaps, will entertain the thought of the Mashiach having that kind of introduction for  we have grown accustom to a very promiscuous nature. The media has etched in our minds the kind of sexual provocation daily. Car commercials, game shows and even real estate ads come with a door prize and a smiley attractive female or male model. Television, no matter how PG it is full of sexual innuendos. Let’s not forget the advancement of the internet….GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!
 Furthermore, as we Jews moved around the world we are constantly reminded through our neighbors about their immodest appetite way of life. We were the only Jews living on the block, in my childhood home in Rego Park. It was a predominantly Irish neighborhood and it was difficult to stay focused even as a very young Yeshiva grade school student with the immodest dress of my non-Jewish neighbors. What’s an orthodox boy doing living in this part of the world?
Interestingly, if one notices our biggest test growing up before entering our young adult, where then we are introduced to inflated egos, pursuit of money, keeping religion, is to watch our brit. There is a tremendous insurgence or wave of desire where hormones are flying uncontrollably when entering the teenage years.
This is our mundane life of today where the western culture has a tremendous influence. However, why has the Torah have to introduce the Jewish monarch and future Mashiash in a degrading way. Golden Yerushalayim and its purity should be left alone. Why drag it to such shmutz?
Furthermore, why is the topic of Erva-  promiscuity associated with the kingdom. Why not murder? Jealousy?
Lets examine an aspect of brit milah where then perhaps we might understand the topic of mashiach a little more clearer.
  Adam HaRishon was created circumcised, as it says, “God created man in His image …” (Bereishis 2:5). Avot d’Rav Nossan 2:5
Rav Yitzchak said, [Adam] caused his foreskin to be extended [and cover his circumcision]. Sanhedrin 38b
Interestingly, this is what the Greek Jews were a custom to do in the time of Chanukah. They were ashamed that they were different then the Goyim. The sexual revolution was influencing the world….sounds familiar. It was custom to remove your cloths entirely in many social functions. The Greeks believed in exposing the beautiful body. However the Jews, because of their brit had a different look, were ashamed.
The Greeks put a spiritual barrier between the Jews and their G-d. In Hebrew the growth of foreskin is called  Orlah. This was the  mistake of Adam. For, whether we are talking about “Orlat HaLeiv” (uncircumcised heart), “Orel S’fataim “(uncircumcised lips), or “Orlah” from a tree (fruits of the third year), the word Orlah always implies a spiritual “barrier” between man and God which has to be removed.
There are two aspects of the mitzvah referred to in the verse. Firstly, Milah is a sign of the covenant between Avraham and God; secondly, Milah is to take place on the eighth day from birth. We should take note of the point in the Parsha at which the Mitzvah is commanded after Avraham’s successful routing of the Canaanite kings. It’s no coincident that saving Lott, his nephew, who holds the seed for part of the Mashiach, is a precursor for brit milah.
 When Avraham  placed his faith in G-d for his physical sustenance, he demonstrated his unwavering commitment to live above nature. As a result, he was provided with the means to remove all the Orlos Adam’s mistake had brought to mankind. This is the Bris Milah which is performed on the eighth day (eight always symbolizes the spiritual, supernatural realm, as we see through Chanukah as well).
Why was Bris Milah so important to history? As the following reveals, it is the source of Malchut (of kingship), and therefore, the Final Redemption.
And Yosef said to his brothers, ” ‘Please come near to me,’ and they came near to him and he said . . .” (Bereishis 45:4). Why did he call them if they were already next to him? Because when he told them, “I am Yosef your brother” (Ibid.), they were in shock to see his royal position. He told them that his royalty was a direct result of this. (Zohar 1:93b)
What was Yosef referring to? The Zohar explains:
” ‘Please come near to me,’ and they came near to him”: He showed them that he upheld Bris Milah, saying, “By keeping this intact, I was able to attain royal status.” From here we learn that whomever keeps this sign intact will merit royalty. (Ibid.)
In other words, Yosef was saying that his royal status had been conferred upon him by Heaven for having resisted the advances of his master’s wife, Aishet Potiphar. Such intimacy would have been forbidden to him, and though he had been tempted at the time, in the end he had overcome his yetzer hara and had run out of the house, risking her vicious retribution that followed.
However, the Zohar is not finished yet, and backs up its statement with the following:
From where else do we know this? From Boaz, as it says, “As Hashem lives, lie down until the morning” (Rus3:13). His evil inclination was enticing him, so he made this oath to keep his bris intact. (Ibid.)
In other words, while he was secluded with Ruth, he desired her then. However, intimacy with her then was improper, and therefore he made the oath to safeguard himself against a sinful relationship. If she was to be his wife, Boaz reasoned with himself, it had to be after all the halachic conditions had been satisfied. Thus the Zohar concludes:
The world is called an OLAM. Interestingly OLAM means hidden. What is hidden? G-d is hidden and he is hidden throughout the world. Interestingly the more we do G-d’s commandments the more vision and clear the world looks.
This OLAM is like a game. A game similar to “Wheel of Fortune”, where one has to turn over the puzzle board and therefore making the entire board clearer. The board is pretty large it encompasses the entire world.   The mission of the Jewish people over the last 3,300 years, the Jewish role in history and the essence of the concept of the Chosen People – a people chosen for the responsibility of teaching the world about one God and absolute morality. But there is much left to do before the vision the Jewish people saw at Mount Sinai becomes a world reality. The Jews have always believed that they have a key role to play in bringing this vision to fruition. We are to create a society based on a God-given standard of morality that will serve as the model for the rest of humanity to emulate – to be “a light unto the nations.”
When we look back on the vast sweep of the last four thousand years we see how significantly the Jewish people have directly and indirectly affected humanity.
The Jewish monarch represents the Jewish people. He rules with justice and mercy. It’s his mission to guide and to turn over the most impure  part of life and manifest it to a source of kedusha. G-d chose the very organ that is the source of life, which can also be chosen to use for the basest acts, as the site to be sanctified with circumcision. This gives us the profound message that we can use every physical drive for holy purposes.
 Chanukah always falls out during this time of the year where days are short and nights are at its longest. It is our mission to light the candles, to bring light in to the darkness, to see things more clear, to flip the puzzle board, to transform an illicit moment to the spiritual.
Interestingly the menorah is lit by Jews in public showcase all over the world….may we, the chosen people continue to make this world more clear.

Overview of Sefer Bereishit

   

 

The accomplishment of finishing something is always sweet, and this week we conclude the book of Bereishit. The beauty of learning the Chumash (Bible) is that one can study the same passage when you’re in grade school and as an adult, and come out fulfilled. I remember how proud I was in finishing the book of Bereishit in early grade school and the whole class screaming the signature conclusion that one finds in any scripture ‘chazak chazak venitchazek’. The classmates would then add jokingly ‘my mother baked a chocolate cake and in the cake there was a rake’. If one had to summarize or give an underlying theme of the book of Bereishit, what would it be? Perhaps, one may say, it’s seeking the truth.

 

The first memory of this concept is Abraham who experimented in many areas in his pursuit of the truth and coming to the conclusion of a monotheistic G-d. How many of you remember this beautiful Midrash? (story from the oral Torah). On one occasion, he was given the task of watching over his father’s pagan-idol shop. When his father came back, he found all the idols broken except the biggest one, holding an ax. He asked Abraham ‘what happened?’ He replied, ‘the big one got angry at the rest and broke them all’. The father in disbelief answered back ‘their incapable’. Abraham answered if you don’t believe it’s true, why do you make them out to be powerful Gods?

 

There is a riveting storyline of truth in Parshat Vayeshev, when Yehuda was rewarded and became the leader of the Jews. This is because it was extremely tempting to lie and hide what really transpired. However, he admitted his participation in sleeping, unknowingly, with his widowed daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law was in the right because she was legally bound to Yehuda’s family. The revelation of truth produced, through that union, the seeds of the Moshiach.

 

In the book of Bereishit, we learn how sensitive one should be when confronting issues between husband and wife. G-d teaches us that sometimes truth is meant not to be told. When good news arrived via the angels, that Abraham and Sarah will have children, Sarah had doubts ‘how can we have children, my husband is so old?’ G-d asked Abraham in a later conversation, altering what his wife said, why did Sarah say ‘how can we have kids, I’m so old?

 

Sometimes, lies and impersonations are required in order to maintain and preserve integrity in the world. Straight-laced Yaacov, the epitome of truth, had to lie and go against his character, his whole philosophy of life and impersonate his brother, Eisav, in order to get a crucial blessing from his father.

 

Apparently, right from the beginning, we find the snake putting doubt in Eve’s mind, taking advantage of the lie Adam told her, in order to seduce her. Although Adam used the lie in order to protect her from eating from the tree, it backfired.

 

It seems like the concept of truth has been in a tug of war, fighting for preservation throughout the entire book of Bereishit. The Torah teaches us when to use it and when not to. Although it’s a bit complex, perhaps the teachings of Rav Henoch Leibowitz z’l, would shed some light with this very clear message. ‘Who is a man of truth, one who recognizes the good and appreciates what G-d has done for him’. He continues, ‘ever wonder why Yehuda was able to persevere and tell the truth under extreme difficult circumstances, because when he was born, his mother named him Yehuda – in appreciation; ‘I appreciate that G-d gave me a wonderful child. She acquired the trait of appreciation and instilled it in her son, and he reciprocated and became royalty in G-d’s eyes.

Parshat Vayeishev

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Vayeishev

December 15, 2011
19 Kislev, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

We have expanded the Parsha Highlights section.

 

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In This Issue
Parshat Vayeishev Highlights
Parshat Vayeishev – Leadership
Chanukah – Pursuit of Honor
The Vision That Makes Dreams a Reality – Chanukah

Parshat Vayeishev Highlights
 

First portion:

 

* After a life full of difficulties, Yaacov settles in Canaan, home of his father, thinking he’ll have some peace and quiet…..Ha!
* Yosef, who is Yaacov’s favorite son, (and was singled out by buying him and only him a coat) is described by the narrative as a na’ar (a bit immature) who told his father the negative things his brothers do.
* Josephs immature and naive behavior resulted in eventually telling his father and brothers two similar dreams where the brothers, as well as his parents, are bowing down to him (note: if one has 2 similar dreams on back-to-back nights, there’s a greater chance that some elements of it will come true). As a result of this disclosure, the brothers hated him even more.

 

Second portion:

 

* Yaacov tells Yosef to find his brothers.
* The brothers’ hatred toward him escalates from’ keeping it in their heart ‘ to verbal taunting (look, the dreamer is here) and then to the physical, l as they contemplate killing him. Reuben persuades them not to kill our own flesh and blood.

 

Third portion:

 

* After abandoning the idea of killing him, the brothers grabbed him and threw him into a pit. Yehuda speaks out ‘why should we leave him for dead, lets’ sell him’. So the brothers sold him to the Yishmaelim (Arabs).
* After some wheeling and dealing, Yosef ends up in Egypt.
* The brothers took his jacket, the same one that his father gave him as a gift, and dipped it in blood. Yehuda presented the torn Jacket to Yaacov, their father saying, ‘Recognize this jacket? A wild animal killed Yosef. Yaacov never stopped mourning for Yosef.
* Yosef was sold to Potifar, one of the officers of Pharaoh.

 

Fourth portion:

 

* The narrative breaks away from the story of Yosef to tell us of an incident involving one of the brothers Yehuda. This is significant in the future leadership of Israel.
* Yehuda is widowed with three sons. He finds a wife, named Tamar, for his oldest son Err. Apparently, when Err has relationship with his new wife, Tamar, he makes a sin by not finishing the act but instead spilling his seed. The reason for this is because Err didn’t want to get Tamar pregnant; he wanted to preserve her beauty and figure. This angered G-d and Err died.
* We are introduced to a concept in Judaism that’s not practiced today, but people should be aware of, called Yibum and Chalitza. When a brother dies childless, it’s an obligation of a brother or a family member to preserve the name of the deceased brother and marry the widow. This process is called Yibum. If the brother is not interested, then he performs chalitza on her where the widow spits in the shoe of the non-interested party and she parts ways with her husband’s family; she then is free to marry others.
* Onan, the second son of Yehuda, takes responsibility and marries Tamar. Unfortunately, he too repeats his brother’s sin and does not learn from Err’s mistake. G-d takes his life as well.
* Yehuda soon after tells his widowed daughter-in-law that his youngest son, Shaila, is too young to take responsibility of Yibum and sends her away. Don’t call us, we’ll call you; apparently, Tamar would have to wait. But when the time came, Yehuda never called Tamar.
* Tamar, realizing the importance of this family, devised a plan to continue to be a part of it. She disguised herself as a prostitute and purposely went to the field where Yehuda was tending sheep. Yehuda offered her his stick as collateral until he will have money the next day and she agreed. But the next day she was nowhere to be found. A number of months later, Yehuda was told that his daughter-in-law is pregnant, not knowing that he was responsible for the pregnancy.
* At the trial, Tamar showed the court Yehuda’s signet, wrap and staff and said whoever this is, is responsible for the child (she was carrying twins) I’m carrying. She purposely didn’t accuse anybody and left it in the hands of Yehuda to tell the truth or not.
* Yehuda acknowledged it was he who was responsible.

 

Fifth portion:

 

* Yosef was successful working at Potifar’s house, so much so, that he was promoted to the head overseer of the household. He was well-liked by all.

 

Sixth portion:

 

* Potifar’s wife takes a liking to Yosef and tries to seduce him daily. In one incident, Potifar’s wife was a bit more brazen in her attempt. But Yosef prevails and does not succumb to her advances. Yosef saw the image of his father and that helped him.
* Potifar’s wife was humiliated by the rejection and cries attacker!! Attacker!! And Yosef is put in jail.

 

Seventh portion:

 

* In jail, he meets two other inmates who are troubled by dreams they each had. The butler, who was punished because a dead fly was found in Pharaoh’s wine cup, and the baker who was in prison because Pharaoh bit on a rock which was in his bread. Yosef interprets the dreams; the butler will get his old job back and the baker will die. Joseph interprets the dreams correctly.

Parshat Vayeishev – Leadership

 

              Who is a true leader? What qualities should he and should he not have? Do you consider yourself a leader type? In this week’s parsha, we see a classic example of what a text-book leader is all about, and who to emulate if  one wants to be a leader and needless to say a fine human being. When Yaacov, our patriarch, was on his deathbed and he was giving out the brachot (in Parshat Vayechi), it consisted of the placement (and displacement) of some brothers in certain positions. These chosen positions, which were based on their character and prophecy, were permanently passed down through their descendants forever. Yehuda, who was the fourth son, was chosen the leader because of the incident with Tamar. What did he exactly do to earn him the lofty position of crown royalty? In order to answer the question, we must back track just a bit. Tamar, Yehuda’s widowed daughter-in-law, was tossed aside fearing she will never have the opportunity to marry and have children with Yehuda’s family after her marriage to two of Yehuda’s sons resulted in their deaths (not her fault). Obviously, Yehuda was concerned about the safety of the last son. When bad luck strikes, one cuts their losses and severs contacts. Perhaps this was Yehuda’s intentions.

Tamar took action showing tenacity and cleverness, by disguising herself as a prostitute and luring Yehuda into having relationship with her where he had no idea it was his daughter-in-law all along. Months later, it was discovered she’s pregnant. Yehuda, figuring she had relationship outside his family, demanded a trial where if found guilty would be punishable by death. At the trial where basically the whole town and more were present, Tamar showed Yehuda and the town ‘whose ever stick this is, is the one responsible for my pregnancy’. Yehuda then realized it was he.

Apparently, Tamar put the ball in his court. No one knew whose stick it was except for Yehuda and Tamar. For Yehuda – who was considered a man of prominence – to go to a prostitute, was considered very demeaning. If it were disclosed at the trial that it was indeed Yehuda, then he would have been the laughing stock of the town. ‘My goodness what would people think of me?’ Tamar arranged it in such a way that if Yehuda will not admit it was his stick, no one else will know and therefore her fate of death was imminent. She would go down to the grave with the truth.

Yehuda’s admission, ‘tzadka meemeni – she’s right’ was a breakthrough statement of all time. Not only did he admit in front of the whole town it was him who was responsible, but he also acknowledged that Tamar was in the right for doing what she did. His admission was clearly a difficult task. Yehuda showed strong character by pursuing the truth even though it would be at the expense of his dignity, and would have taken him out of any prominence. But most important, he didn’t care what people thought. He will not let criticism dictate his decision, criticism that would be very tempting not to admit the truth.

Similarly, we find King David, who was a descendant of Yehuda, admitting his guilt after intentionally sending Batsheva’s husband, Uria, to the front to be killed, so he can conveniently marry her. A leader has to admit guilt and not let his pride get in the way.

King Shaul had an opportunity to kill out Amalek (PUBLIC ENEMY NO 1); He disregarded an order from G-d, afraid of what the people might think. He did not want to appear too cruel. A decision like that disqualifies you as king. This action was the factor in losing the Kingdom.

Chanukah – Pursuit of Honor
   

           If someone was born and bred in a western culture, they surely can appreciate Chanukah. One of the major aspects of childhood in America is being entertained by TV crime fighters or the superheroes that we grew up with. They are all predominately based on the Maccabees. G-d had mercy on the Jews and our heroes prevailed. We all have that sense of pride of what Matetyahu and his sons accomplished and rightfully so. It was a magnificent display of courage, belief in G-d and national pride; Kol Hakavod to them.

Little is written about the Maccabees. Surprisingly, only one side of a page is written about them in Tractate Shabbat, while a whole tractate and a megila is dedicated to the holiday of Purim. Why is that so?

In the Torah, nothing is coincidence. There is always a reason why things are the way they are. Chanukah always falls out on the week when we read about the story of Yehuda, (which is our dvar Torah-schmooze of the week on the parsha) and how he earned the right to be the leader of the brothers. The bracha of our patriarch Yaacov, which we will read in a few weeks, not only crowns Yehuda as royalty, but his descendants as well. The kingdom is only to come out from Yehuda. Only under the extreme dire situations should Israel alter this tradition.

Unfortunately, such was the case with the Maccabees; there was nobody from the tribe of Yehuda at the time worthy to be King. Therefore, Shimon, one of the remaining sons of Matetyahu, became King, temporarily, as well as their natural position of Kohen Gadol (high priest; the Maccabees were Kohanim). However, what started out as a noble gesture, even though the original Maccabees were as sincere as one can get, their descendants were not. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. It’s very hard to let go of power and kavod, especially when the high position is passed down from generation to generation, and one feels it is mine to inherit.

Our sages informed us that whoever says they are descendants of the Maccabees are terribly mistaken. Because they hung onto the kingdom longer then they were supposed to, all the descendants were wiped out. The last descendant, Miriam, was forced to marry Herod the great (who wasn’t Jewish). Herod wanted to be liked so badly that he forced the marriage, figuring people will give him more respect for marrying into such a popular and noble family. Miriam had other plans. Seeing she could not get out of the marriage, she decided to take her own life. Herod was devastated and very desperate to hold onto power. What he did for some time will go down as the most despicable act in history. He did not inform the public about Miriam’s death. Herod kept her body in honey for preservation and every morning when the king customarily addresses the nation, he would bring her out as if she was alive to show all is fine at the palace.

The Vision That Makes Dreams a Reality – Chanukah
   

In one of the passages in Shir Hashirim – the Song of Songs, written by King Solomon, it is written, doodayim brought out a fragrance and at the entrance the oils (from the Chanukah menorah) burn brightly. Doodayim are plants that bring out magnificent scent. Reuben, Yaacov’s oldest son, introduced it to us when he presented it to his mother Leah. What’s the connection that King Solomon, the smartest man that ever lived, makes between Reuben’s doodayim and oil of the Chanukah menorah?

Reuben was gifted with tremendous vision that made him the only one who recognized that the brothers were wrong in their assessment of Yosef. Reuben prevented them from killing Yosef. No one saw what Reuben envisioned. The menorah beautifully lit represents the Maccabees who believed in G-d and that truth will prevail, foreseeing confidently that they will overcome and be victorious over the most powerful obstacle in the world, the Greek army. Having the ability to envision and believe it can be achieved, requires strong character. This can be attained by strengthening our belief in G-d and developing a tenacity to fulfill the dreams, which seem unattainable. We all have dreams that we wish will come true but don’t believe it will ever come into fruition. The passage teaches us one can take a vision and make it a reality.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Acharei Mot

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Acharei Mot

April 13, 2011

9 Nissan, 5771

In This Issue
Verbal Importance of the Seder
Breaking the Glass

Verbal Importance of the Seder
 haggadah

When one thinks about Pesach, the first thing that comes to mind is matzah. It is called ‘lechem oni-bread of affliction’. Another way of understanding ‘lechem oni’ is ‘lechem shea onim alav de’varim harbeh -bread over which many things are said’. This is the reason when we are about to start ‘avadim hayinu-we were slaves’, after reciting the ‘ma nishtanah-why is this night different from every other night’; we uncover the matzah and point at it. At this juncture, we are called upon to ‘talk’ about the exodus of Egypt. The very word ‘Pesach’ has been interpreted as ‘peh-sach-the mouth talks’, to stress the importance of putting the meaning of the event into words. As slaves, words were not spoken because slaves are not allowed to speak or to think. It’s important at the Seder to verbally read the Hagaddah from beginning to end. We see speaking as a sign of freedom. Any American can tell you the special privilege that is granted to us in freedom of speech; it’s a constitutional right. The Americans took example from the exodus of Egypt and incorporated them in their very own experiences and constitution. There is also an emphasis on the father and son dialog, because of the very reason we gave above, ‘freedom’. That relationship doesn’t exist when you’re a slave. There is no tradition that is passed down; one is obliged only to his master. However, freedom has a lot of fringe benefits and strengthening  that bond of the father and son is one of them.

In some places, it is customary for the father to repeat the mah nishtanah after the child has finished. The reason may be perhaps the child asked without understanding. It’s important to note that it is desirable that the entire Haggadah should be translated and explained for the benefit of all the Seder participants. After all, the Seder is not meant to be an empty ritual, but an effort to grasp and relive the experience of our ancestors. Somebody who does not understand the Haggadah has actually not fulfilled his obligation.

Another reason why the emphasis on ‘talking’ is important is that our very essence is speech. When Jacob came to receive the bracha from his father Isaac, Isaac said ‘hakol kol Yaacov v’hayadim yedei Eisav’-the voice is the voice of Jacob and the hands are the hands of Eisav’. Jacob’s power is in the speech. This is our strength and we are utilizing this gift that G-d gave us with pride at the Seder.

Besides Torah, which is part and parcel with speech and is our life force, there is another advantage, which we exercised that I feel proud of. When I was younger in the late 1960’s & early 70’s, the 25 year-old generation would create rallies and an enthusiastic energetic environment to make their voices heard for Soviet Jewry.  It worked by putting pressure on the government, and it unified the Jews whether they were American or Russian. It was a tremendous show of solidarity and it showed that with ‘kol Yaacov’, we can make a difference. The Seder is not the time to keep quiet; one should ask, answer, sing whatever they can, to strengthen our gift.

Breaking the Glass
breaking the glass

 

Baruch Hashem, there is always an abundance of weddings before Passover. It never fails, as one watches the bride and groom, to reminisce when we actually took those very steps ourselves. How interesting it is to witness a couple’s significant moment in their lives. I’m sure one can guess that a chupah ceremony has strong traditions and deep meanings. There is a lingering question that is often asked about the breaking of the glass at the end of the ceremony. We have learned it’s for the remembrance of our holy Temple, which was destroyed approximately two thousand years ago. This unpleasant memory is incorporated into our joyous occasion so we should not feel overly happy where we experienced such grief as a nation.

But why such an emphasis on diffusing the joy? Why not live with having a purely happy occasion without a bit of sorrow? Why can’t we just be happy to the fullest? Furthermore, one would have to look at a significant event in our history – which I’ve been scratching my head in wonderment – in order to understand what Rav Chaim Shmuelevits is trying to convey to us in this d’var Torah in which I had the pleasure to tell over.

The lineage of the Mashiach comes from the tribe of Yehuda, but the turning of events of how the inception came about will startle you. Yehuda’s daughter in-law was widowed twice; G-d punished and killed Yehuda’s two sons (Tamar’s 1st and 2nd husbands.) Consequently, he told her to go to her father’s house until his third son is old enough to marry. Jewish tradition prevents a widow from marrying out of her husband’s family if she didn’t have children (although this does not apply today.) Usually, the brother is required to marry his brother’s wife, in order to preserve the deceased sibling’s name (yibum), or else he has to give her Chalitza (equivalent of a divorce). But, in light of what happened, Yehuda gave her the old line ‘don’t call me, I’ll call you’ and as the third son came of age, the call to Tamar never came. Perhaps he viewed her as bad luck and was reluctant to give over his son, fearing the black widow would strike again. Tamar, the widowed daughter in-law, had an intuition of the importance of the family and would not give up the right to be the mother of the messianic family. She disguised herself as a prostitute and seduced the widowed Yehuda. These uncharacteristic actions of both Yehuda and Tamar have put every living being off guard, as we will soon see. The news came out that Tamar was pregnant which angered Yehuda. ‘She is bound to our family and has committed a severe violation; she should be burned,’ he proclaimed, not knowing that it was he who impregnated her. Tamar made Yehuda realize through her discrete hint, that it was he who will be the father of her twins. Even though he was in front of the leaders of the world, Yehuda earned great admiration for his admittance, showing honesty, seeking to do what’s right and taking responsibility, therefore resulting in being crowned leader by his father and brothers.

But why does the Mashiach have to come in this manner? The great Jewish savior is presented in such an un-dignifying way; this is how you want the Mashiach to come? The mere thought of Yehuda not knowing who the mother of the messianic lineage is at the time of the physical relationship, is mind boggling!

Rav Chaim teaches us the world operates in such a manner that every holy act cannot exist unless it has a small mixture of negativity. Therefore, the Mashiach would not be able to come in a natural way because the evil powers were too strong and would not allow the inception of this significant occurrence.

This leads us to this week’s Parsha where we realize that the power of evil could prevent goodness from blossoming unless the evil is satiated. Then and only then goodness can operate. The Torah mentions that on Yom Kippur, besides bringing a sacrifice to G-d, an identical young he-goat would be given to Satan. ‘What!!’ one may ask ‘Satan?’ Am I watching a B-movie late Saturday night on one of those low-budget channels? Perhaps it seems to be some form of idol worship. By throwing a bone to the devil, you’ll prevent any additional intervention.

My father had dinner once with his cousin, Mr. Mayer Abraham, who was one of the leaders of the Bukharian-Afgani community in Queens. They were on a business trip in the Far East.  Mr. Abraham left some food on his dinner plate. My father asked him ‘why don’t you finish? We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.’ He retorted back ‘I always leave a little piece for Satan so he should be happy also. After reading the d’rasha by Rav Chaim, I realize where Mr. Abraham’s source came.

Rav Chaim quotes the Ramban who lived a thousand years ago. The breaking of the glass quiets Satan so he doesn’t harm the couple. He is satisfied with the event not being 100% pure joy because the guests remember an unpleasant memory. It is the chatan that reads ‘if I forget Jerusalem (where the Temple was destroyed) let my right hand forget its skill.’

Some communities are scared of the evil eye. Therefore, they perform a real chupah the night before, and the chupah at the hall with all the guests is staged. Realizing the importance of feeling a little sorrow when breaking the glass and its significance of fending off Satan, one should conclude there is no need for additional protection of the chatan and kallah.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience