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Parshat Vayeishev

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Vayeishev

December 15, 2011
19 Kislev, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

We have expanded the Parsha Highlights section.

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Vayeishev Highlights
Parshat Vayeishev – Leadership
Chanukah – Pursuit of Honor
The Vision That Makes Dreams a Reality – Chanukah

Parshat Vayeishev Highlights
 

First portion:

 

* After a life full of difficulties, Yaacov settles in Canaan, home of his father, thinking he’ll have some peace and quiet…..Ha!
* Yosef, who is Yaacov’s favorite son, (and was singled out by buying him and only him a coat) is described by the narrative as a na’ar (a bit immature) who told his father the negative things his brothers do.
* Josephs immature and naive behavior resulted in eventually telling his father and brothers two similar dreams where the brothers, as well as his parents, are bowing down to him (note: if one has 2 similar dreams on back-to-back nights, there’s a greater chance that some elements of it will come true). As a result of this disclosure, the brothers hated him even more.

 

Second portion:

 

* Yaacov tells Yosef to find his brothers.
* The brothers’ hatred toward him escalates from’ keeping it in their heart ‘ to verbal taunting (look, the dreamer is here) and then to the physical, l as they contemplate killing him. Reuben persuades them not to kill our own flesh and blood.

 

Third portion:

 

* After abandoning the idea of killing him, the brothers grabbed him and threw him into a pit. Yehuda speaks out ‘why should we leave him for dead, lets’ sell him’. So the brothers sold him to the Yishmaelim (Arabs).
* After some wheeling and dealing, Yosef ends up in Egypt.
* The brothers took his jacket, the same one that his father gave him as a gift, and dipped it in blood. Yehuda presented the torn Jacket to Yaacov, their father saying, ‘Recognize this jacket? A wild animal killed Yosef. Yaacov never stopped mourning for Yosef.
* Yosef was sold to Potifar, one of the officers of Pharaoh.

 

Fourth portion:

 

* The narrative breaks away from the story of Yosef to tell us of an incident involving one of the brothers Yehuda. This is significant in the future leadership of Israel.
* Yehuda is widowed with three sons. He finds a wife, named Tamar, for his oldest son Err. Apparently, when Err has relationship with his new wife, Tamar, he makes a sin by not finishing the act but instead spilling his seed. The reason for this is because Err didn’t want to get Tamar pregnant; he wanted to preserve her beauty and figure. This angered G-d and Err died.
* We are introduced to a concept in Judaism that’s not practiced today, but people should be aware of, called Yibum and Chalitza. When a brother dies childless, it’s an obligation of a brother or a family member to preserve the name of the deceased brother and marry the widow. This process is called Yibum. If the brother is not interested, then he performs chalitza on her where the widow spits in the shoe of the non-interested party and she parts ways with her husband’s family; she then is free to marry others.
* Onan, the second son of Yehuda, takes responsibility and marries Tamar. Unfortunately, he too repeats his brother’s sin and does not learn from Err’s mistake. G-d takes his life as well.
* Yehuda soon after tells his widowed daughter-in-law that his youngest son, Shaila, is too young to take responsibility of Yibum and sends her away. Don’t call us, we’ll call you; apparently, Tamar would have to wait. But when the time came, Yehuda never called Tamar.
* Tamar, realizing the importance of this family, devised a plan to continue to be a part of it. She disguised herself as a prostitute and purposely went to the field where Yehuda was tending sheep. Yehuda offered her his stick as collateral until he will have money the next day and she agreed. But the next day she was nowhere to be found. A number of months later, Yehuda was told that his daughter-in-law is pregnant, not knowing that he was responsible for the pregnancy.
* At the trial, Tamar showed the court Yehuda’s signet, wrap and staff and said whoever this is, is responsible for the child (she was carrying twins) I’m carrying. She purposely didn’t accuse anybody and left it in the hands of Yehuda to tell the truth or not.
* Yehuda acknowledged it was he who was responsible.

 

Fifth portion:

 

* Yosef was successful working at Potifar’s house, so much so, that he was promoted to the head overseer of the household. He was well-liked by all.

 

Sixth portion:

 

* Potifar’s wife takes a liking to Yosef and tries to seduce him daily. In one incident, Potifar’s wife was a bit more brazen in her attempt. But Yosef prevails and does not succumb to her advances. Yosef saw the image of his father and that helped him.
* Potifar’s wife was humiliated by the rejection and cries attacker!! Attacker!! And Yosef is put in jail.

 

Seventh portion:

 

* In jail, he meets two other inmates who are troubled by dreams they each had. The butler, who was punished because a dead fly was found in Pharaoh’s wine cup, and the baker who was in prison because Pharaoh bit on a rock which was in his bread. Yosef interprets the dreams; the butler will get his old job back and the baker will die. Joseph interprets the dreams correctly.

Parshat Vayeishev – Leadership

 

              Who is a true leader? What qualities should he and should he not have? Do you consider yourself a leader type? In this week’s parsha, we see a classic example of what a text-book leader is all about, and who to emulate if  one wants to be a leader and needless to say a fine human being. When Yaacov, our patriarch, was on his deathbed and he was giving out the brachot (in Parshat Vayechi), it consisted of the placement (and displacement) of some brothers in certain positions. These chosen positions, which were based on their character and prophecy, were permanently passed down through their descendants forever. Yehuda, who was the fourth son, was chosen the leader because of the incident with Tamar. What did he exactly do to earn him the lofty position of crown royalty? In order to answer the question, we must back track just a bit. Tamar, Yehuda’s widowed daughter-in-law, was tossed aside fearing she will never have the opportunity to marry and have children with Yehuda’s family after her marriage to two of Yehuda’s sons resulted in their deaths (not her fault). Obviously, Yehuda was concerned about the safety of the last son. When bad luck strikes, one cuts their losses and severs contacts. Perhaps this was Yehuda’s intentions.

Tamar took action showing tenacity and cleverness, by disguising herself as a prostitute and luring Yehuda into having relationship with her where he had no idea it was his daughter-in-law all along. Months later, it was discovered she’s pregnant. Yehuda, figuring she had relationship outside his family, demanded a trial where if found guilty would be punishable by death. At the trial where basically the whole town and more were present, Tamar showed Yehuda and the town ‘whose ever stick this is, is the one responsible for my pregnancy’. Yehuda then realized it was he.

Apparently, Tamar put the ball in his court. No one knew whose stick it was except for Yehuda and Tamar. For Yehuda – who was considered a man of prominence – to go to a prostitute, was considered very demeaning. If it were disclosed at the trial that it was indeed Yehuda, then he would have been the laughing stock of the town. ‘My goodness what would people think of me?’ Tamar arranged it in such a way that if Yehuda will not admit it was his stick, no one else will know and therefore her fate of death was imminent. She would go down to the grave with the truth.

Yehuda’s admission, ‘tzadka meemeni – she’s right’ was a breakthrough statement of all time. Not only did he admit in front of the whole town it was him who was responsible, but he also acknowledged that Tamar was in the right for doing what she did. His admission was clearly a difficult task. Yehuda showed strong character by pursuing the truth even though it would be at the expense of his dignity, and would have taken him out of any prominence. But most important, he didn’t care what people thought. He will not let criticism dictate his decision, criticism that would be very tempting not to admit the truth.

Similarly, we find King David, who was a descendant of Yehuda, admitting his guilt after intentionally sending Batsheva’s husband, Uria, to the front to be killed, so he can conveniently marry her. A leader has to admit guilt and not let his pride get in the way.

King Shaul had an opportunity to kill out Amalek (PUBLIC ENEMY NO 1); He disregarded an order from G-d, afraid of what the people might think. He did not want to appear too cruel. A decision like that disqualifies you as king. This action was the factor in losing the Kingdom.

Chanukah – Pursuit of Honor
   

           If someone was born and bred in a western culture, they surely can appreciate Chanukah. One of the major aspects of childhood in America is being entertained by TV crime fighters or the superheroes that we grew up with. They are all predominately based on the Maccabees. G-d had mercy on the Jews and our heroes prevailed. We all have that sense of pride of what Matetyahu and his sons accomplished and rightfully so. It was a magnificent display of courage, belief in G-d and national pride; Kol Hakavod to them.

Little is written about the Maccabees. Surprisingly, only one side of a page is written about them in Tractate Shabbat, while a whole tractate and a megila is dedicated to the holiday of Purim. Why is that so?

In the Torah, nothing is coincidence. There is always a reason why things are the way they are. Chanukah always falls out on the week when we read about the story of Yehuda, (which is our dvar Torah-schmooze of the week on the parsha) and how he earned the right to be the leader of the brothers. The bracha of our patriarch Yaacov, which we will read in a few weeks, not only crowns Yehuda as royalty, but his descendants as well. The kingdom is only to come out from Yehuda. Only under the extreme dire situations should Israel alter this tradition.

Unfortunately, such was the case with the Maccabees; there was nobody from the tribe of Yehuda at the time worthy to be King. Therefore, Shimon, one of the remaining sons of Matetyahu, became King, temporarily, as well as their natural position of Kohen Gadol (high priest; the Maccabees were Kohanim). However, what started out as a noble gesture, even though the original Maccabees were as sincere as one can get, their descendants were not. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. It’s very hard to let go of power and kavod, especially when the high position is passed down from generation to generation, and one feels it is mine to inherit.

Our sages informed us that whoever says they are descendants of the Maccabees are terribly mistaken. Because they hung onto the kingdom longer then they were supposed to, all the descendants were wiped out. The last descendant, Miriam, was forced to marry Herod the great (who wasn’t Jewish). Herod wanted to be liked so badly that he forced the marriage, figuring people will give him more respect for marrying into such a popular and noble family. Miriam had other plans. Seeing she could not get out of the marriage, she decided to take her own life. Herod was devastated and very desperate to hold onto power. What he did for some time will go down as the most despicable act in history. He did not inform the public about Miriam’s death. Herod kept her body in honey for preservation and every morning when the king customarily addresses the nation, he would bring her out as if she was alive to show all is fine at the palace.

The Vision That Makes Dreams a Reality – Chanukah
   

In one of the passages in Shir Hashirim – the Song of Songs, written by King Solomon, it is written, doodayim brought out a fragrance and at the entrance the oils (from the Chanukah menorah) burn brightly. Doodayim are plants that bring out magnificent scent. Reuben, Yaacov’s oldest son, introduced it to us when he presented it to his mother Leah. What’s the connection that King Solomon, the smartest man that ever lived, makes between Reuben’s doodayim and oil of the Chanukah menorah?

Reuben was gifted with tremendous vision that made him the only one who recognized that the brothers were wrong in their assessment of Yosef. Reuben prevented them from killing Yosef. No one saw what Reuben envisioned. The menorah beautifully lit represents the Maccabees who believed in G-d and that truth will prevail, foreseeing confidently that they will overcome and be victorious over the most powerful obstacle in the world, the Greek army. Having the ability to envision and believe it can be achieved, requires strong character. This can be attained by strengthening our belief in G-d and developing a tenacity to fulfill the dreams, which seem unattainable. We all have dreams that we wish will come true but don’t believe it will ever come into fruition. The passage teaches us one can take a vision and make it a reality.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Vayishlach

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Vayishlach

December 8, 2011
12 Kislev, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Vayishlach Highlights
Parshat Vayishlach – Public Enemy #1
What Is Your Favorite Season?
Do You Take Care of Yourself?

 Parshat Vayishlach Highlights
 

* After hearing Eisav gathered 400 hundred men en-route to kill him, Yaacov sent angels ahead to greet his brother and try to soften his stance – second portion.

 

* Yaacov put together an arrangement of gifts for his brother, Eisav. We learn here the importance of diplomatic negotiations in dealing with your foes.
* Yaacov fights with Eisav’s angel and is injured – third portion.
* Yaacov and Eisav meet – fourth portion.
* Eisav goes home to the land of Seir.
* Yaacov and his family arrive in Shechem – fifth portion
* Yaacov’s daughter Dina is raped by Shechem.
* Shimon and Levi, 2 of the 12 sons of Yaacov, trick Shechem and the entire town by convincing them we will intermarry with you only after the males in the city get circumcised. On the third day since the communal circumcisions, Shimon and Levi came and killed all the males in the town of Shechem. They also rescued their sister, Dina.
* G-d said to Yaacov go to Bet El and make me an altar (place where Yaacov had his dream).
* G-d gave an additional name to Yaacov, Israel – sixth portion.
* Rachel gives birth to Benyamin completing the 12 tribes, and soon after dies.
* Rachel is buried on the way in Bet Lechem.
* Isaac dies, and both his sons, Yaacov and Eisav, bury him.
* Genealogy of Eisav is being told over – seventh portion.

 

 

 

 

Parshat Vayishlach – Public Enemy #1

 

             The genealogy of Eisav’s children is being spelled out at the end of parshas Vayishlach. There is a very interesting story involving the grandmother of PUBLIC ENEMY #1 which the Jews despise the most, Amalek. Amalek, who was Eisav’s grandson and his descendant, have given the Jews the most pain and sorrow from all our foes. What’s the reason our confrontations with him were always so bitter? What’s the reason when we say Amalek or Haman (descendant of Amalek) in synagogue; we stamp our feet out of disgust? Let’s probe into the root of Amalek and why he came to this world.

Timna, the mother of Amalek, was the mistress of Elifas, the son of Eisav. One may find it odd that she was a concubine considering she was the daughter of a king and the sister of Liytan, a prominent figure. Apparently, she was under the strong belief that ‘I’d rather be a mistress to this nation than a queen to a different nation’. She was referring to Avraham and his children. In fact, she made her overtures to be the wife of Avraham, Isaac, and Yaacov but was rejected by all three; our forefathers did not accept her. So she settled for Elifas. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, in which this dvar Torah is based from, says the bitterness of being rejected by our ancestors became ingrained and transformed to Timna’s future genealogy. The rage Amalek has towards us stems from jealousy of Timna, being tossed away and not accepted. Rav Chaim asks ‘how can that be? It’s out of character of the persona and philosophy of Avraham. The great Avraham, whose teachings of G-d and the notion of bringing people back was his virtue. He was an expert of bringing people closer to G-d, to convert everybody and to take them under the wing of glory. The self-sacrifice he gave towards outreach is one of astonishment, and yet he turns and rejects an individual soul who understands the prominence and value of his family, and is willing to give up so much to be a part of it. One can even say it’s very commendable on her part. Why didn’t they accept Timna?

Timna wasn’t accepted because she wasn’t worthy to be under the clouds of glory. Our ancestors saw through prophecy that she and her descendants carry in their genes very bad traits, and our fathers wanted no part of it.

When the Israelites crossed the sea after G-d made it split, all the nations heard, saw, and trembled the miracles G-d performed for them. The world was in awe. The Jews were placed on a pedestal, untouched; they were considered a holy nation, G-d’s nation. However, one nation waged war against the Israelites, Amalek. Up until that point, the world saw through the miracles, the power and goodness of G-d. Apparently, there was a momentum of spirituality among the nations resulting from those monumental events. Amalek ruined all this.

Rashi (commentary on the Chumash) gives a memorable example of the first person jumping in a hot pool while the others were apprehensive. But the pool became cooler as soon as the first person jumped, making it approachable.

Similarly, we find the giant Og making fun of Avraham and Sarah’s newborn, Isaac, for being too small. It was the first baby in the crib,’ What is this little thing?’ It was such a miracle and a tremendous credit to G-d giving a gift to this old couple that were the ambassadors of G-d and represented Him out in the open. If there was any time in history to boast of the concept of ‘the good gets blessed’, it’s here. But Og minimized the miracle and dulled the momentum of spirituality.

Apparently, by waging war against the Jews, proved that our fathers were right in not taking Timna under the wings of glory. While other nations saw and felt G-d’s power and spirituality after the splitting of the sea, it seemed like Amalek was desensitized to G-d and spirituality; they weren’t moved, didn’t faze them one bit. They weren’t able, and perhaps didn’t have it in them to feel the spirituality.

Although our forefathers were right in their decision about Timna, one has to be a little bit gentler on how to reject. Rav Chaim teaches us the diplomatic game has to be enforced by pushing them out with the left hand and shaking their hands with the right; cordial but curt or cruddier; kick them from behind with a smile. We often have to act in such away in our workplace for our self-preservation. It was crucial not to let Timna in, for if she was accepted, it would have compromised our development individually and as a nation, but we have to be delicate in saying you can’t come in.

What Is Your Favorite Season?
   

 

After returning back from the United States, an Israeli was asked how he liked his trip to New York. His response was he hated it. “There are four seasons there”. But there are four seasons everywhere”, he was told. He retorted back, “You’re right, but in New York there are four seasons in one day.”

My son recently wrote an essay about autumn. He described the leaves on the trees turning colors and having fun stepping on a sea of leaves that have fallen resulting in a crunching sound. My boy mentioned about the wonderful smell the leaves give out while lying on the ground, especially after a rainfall. Many years ago, well, not so many, I too wrote a similar essay when I was just about my son’s age. This treat of autumn is something many New Yorkers don’t appreciate. A few years ago I had the pleasure of walking with a fellow who wasn’t from this country that had pointed out the beauty of autumn. He mentioned, in envy, he doesn’t experience the beauty of autumn where he comes from. Apparently, I was a little embarrassed because it seemed like he observed in detail the change of seasons with appreciation while I took it for granted.

The Mesilat Yesharim compares us to horses that ride in a very quick pace without realizing where they pass. They don’t move their head; they just ride straight without realizing the beautiful countryside they’re passing. We have to stop and to see the beauty that G-d has placed us in and appreciate details of the flowery spring, the greenery of summer, snowy winters, and cooling fall. We should not let the rat race with its pressure and stress dictate and dominate our lives. That kind of New York pressure desensitizes us where we miss out on life.

Every December 4th, (this year in New York, December 5th because of the leap year next year), we change the format of the Amida prayer, (the silent prayer that we stand at a standstill which we say 3 times a day), due to the change of seasons, by reciting ‘v’ten tal umatar lebracha, making a request that He give us rain. It is made only when rain is actually needed in an agricultural cycle. In Israel, however, rain is needed in early fall, so the recitation therefore begins on 7 Cheshvan, much earlier than elsewhere. (This is the daily bracha for parnassa – making a good livelihood).

(We had discussed in previous newsletters the importance of saying prayers as accurately as possible. One might argue ‘it’s the thought that counts’ and there is no need for such over zealous meticulousness. However, this is not so, (please refer to previous ‘coffee and a thought).

What happens when an American (Jew) travels to Israel arriving at the end of November or an Israeli landing in New York at the same time? Do they alter their prayers to accommodate the guest environment or do they follow what they do at home?

Rav Eliyahu Ben Haim mentions that the only time a person changes his prayer for v’ten tal umatar lebracha is when he is the shaliach tzibur (chazzan) for his host country. Otherwise, he goes by what he says back home.

A change of season is important because it breaks up the monotony and it provides a well-needed refreshing look and feel so we can appreciate G-d and the world. Therefore, we can give the ultimate thanks.

Do You Take Care of Yourself? 
   

For the most part, I write the last article of this newsletter Tuesday night after my lecture and shiur. However, tonight, Tuesday, I missed giving my lecture and shiur because I wasn’t feeling well (sponsors – beware – your dedication will be announced before the shiur next week). Apparently, that’s the reason I’m writing earlier than usual. I love giving the shiur, it’s a nice guy environment, and it pained me to miss it. My wife blames me (like many wives blame their husbands) for not giving it due to getting sick because I don’t take care of myself, or so she says. Although I do keep odd hours and I don’t sleep much at night or eat at the proper times, but for her to make that assessment is unfair.

My great-grandfather would always say, “Watch your health very much very much (meod meod).” Well, the actual quote (Devarim 4:16) has only ‘one’ very much, but I guess he wanted to make his point clear. Apparently, by having it written in the Torah puts a more stringent concern on all of us (violating Torah law – medeorisa is harsher then rabbinical law).

Even more so, my father always said you cannot talk while eating fish because it’s a battle. Let’s take those wise words a step further. My friend, Rabbi Uri Sklaar, says eating fish is a battle even without talking. Now let’s take it even further; according to the Shulchan Aruch (the book of laws), one cannot talk while you eat (besides fish) because it might go down the wrong pipe. Now, how many of us are strict about that one?

I remember taking a course in college where at one point they taught you the proper technique on how to interview for a job; the primary concern is proper etiquette at a restaurant. Now remember, according to Jewish law, you cannot answer a question until you swallow the food (it is advisable not to order peanut butter).

However, there are those that are extremists when it comes to health. One should take note that you cannot add or subtract from the Torah; don’t be such a tzaddik. It’s okay; you can cheat a little on the midnight snacks. So I guess one should not deprive the kids of potato chips by substituting raisins or carrots. (My wife will give me an earful for that one.)

Questions to ponder: does one have to go organic to be healthy? Are you violating the law by doing too much? Or maybe one is violating by not having organic products or by not doing enough?

Regardless, one should keep in mind that the Torah does take health and taking care of yourself very seriously, but defining the letter of the law is the question. Ask your local Rabbi or nutritionist for advice.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Vayeitzei

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Vayeitzei

December 1, 2011
5 Kislev, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Vayeitzei Highlights
Parshat Vayeitzei – Appreciating What One Does for You
Are You Aware of Your Talents?
Is There a Section in the Yellow Pages for a Kabbalist?

 Parshat Vayeitzei Highlights
 

 

* Yaacov leaves his parents’ home and is on his way to his uncle Lavan to presumable marry his cousin Rachel. 

 

* He stops in this place where he camps outside and settles for the night, where he has a dream that angels are going up and down a ladder. G-d tells him in the dream, ‘I am the G-d of your fathers, Abraham and Isaac. This is a holy place where you are lying and I will give this land to you and your children. Your children will be plentiful and I, G-d, will watch over you and your offspring’.

 

* When Yaacov wakes up, he vows ‘if G-d is with me then I will follow his ways’.

 

* On the way, he spends time in the study hall of Shem and Ever, where he learns more about G-d and spiritual concepts.

 

* Eisav’s son Elifas is instructed to kill Yaacov but is convinced by his uncle that if he robs him of all his money, then he is as good as dead.

 

* Yaacov arrives and meets Rachel, Lavan’s daughter, by the well.

 

* We are informed by the narrative that Lavan has two daughters; the oldest, Leah, who has tender eyes, and the youngest, Rachel, who is very beautiful.

 

* Yaacov has an agreement with Lavan to work seven years and then to marry his youngest daughter, Rachel, whom he loves.

 

* Lavan tricks Yaacov and switches Rachel with Leah.

 

* Yaacov agrees to work seven more years to marry Rachel.

 

* G-d sees that Yaacov loves Rachel more then Leah. So, G-d opens up Leah’s womb and she produces four boys in succession: Reuben, Shimon, Levy, and Yehuda.

 

* Rachel is jealous of Leah since she can’t have children. She gives her maidservant, Bilah, for a wife to Yaacov stating ‘I too will build a family through her.’

 

* Bilah gives birth to Dan and then to Naftali.

 

* Leah sees she stopped giving birth, so she too gives Yaacov her maidservant, Zilpah, for a wife.

 

* Zilpah gives birth to Gad then to Asher.

 

* Reuben finds these special plants called dudayim, (thought to be good for fertility) and presents them to his mother. Rachel likes them and exchanges a night with Yaacov for the dudayim.

 

* Leah has two more boys: Yisachar then Zevulun.

 

* Rachel gives birth to a son named Yosef.

 

* Lavan changes the wages, as well as agreements many times in their business affairs, and Yaacov still comes out a winner.

 

* G-d tells Yaacov ‘It’s time for you and your family to leave after Lavan and his sons over-stepped their boundaries.’

 

* Rachel steals her father’s magical idols.

 

* Lavan chases after Yaacov and his family, and accuses him of stealing his idols.

 

* Yaacov is angry at the accusation and proclaims, ‘Whoever stole your idols shall die’, not knowing it was Rachel who stole it.

 

* G-d appears to Lavan in a dream, stating he should not harm Yaacov.

 

* Lavan and Yaacov make a treaty.

 

Parshat Vayeitzei – Appreciating What One Does for You
abraham's tent

The King of the Jewish nation, Shaul, felt threatened by David who became very popular by winning one of the most lop-sided one-on-one battles in history, by beating the giant and heavily favorite, the ferocious Goliath. Goliath represented one of Israel’s archrivals, the Philistines. It was a tremendous show of courage and David became an instant hero. David was from the tribe of Yehuda where the kings were to be chosen from. Shaul, who came from the tribe of Benjamin, knew inevitably someone from Yehuda would become king. Later the prophet Shmuel anointed David the future king of Israel, which infuriated the present king. Shaul’s animosity became so great toward David that he wanted to kill him. However, as time went on, David became stronger, gathering up men to join him. In one of the more famous incidences in the Tanach (Prophets), David snuck up to where Shaul was sleeping, who was in the midst of chasing him, and cut Shaul’s garment. By demonstrating this act and showing it to him later, he wanted to be clear, as to convey that he has no hostility toward Shaul and how easily it would have been to kill him.’ I have no ill will toward you’; perhaps, Shaul should soften his stance towards him.

It’s most puzzling that when David who was on his deathbed, he could not keep warm; he was constantly cold and no garment could make him comfortable. Apparently, he was being punished for cutting the garment of Shaul. But why? David wanted to make a point of strength; he wanted to make peace between them. Perhaps Shaul was humiliated, but, even so, it was not intended to be a malice act. Why was he punished so severely?

In this week’s Parsha, we find Yaacov wanting to marry Rachel. He knew though, that her father, who has a reputation of a cheat, might trick him. Therefore, he gives Rachel signs that when implemented will ensure that indeed it would be Rachel he’s marrying. However, Rachel gives over the signs to her sister Leah, stating ‘I do not want my sister humiliated when Lavan’s plans foil and Yaacov discovers it’s Leah who he’s marrying and not me’.

By Rachel giving over the signs, it fortified the marriage between Yaacov and Leah and through that union producing six out of the twelve tribes. In essence, Rachel sacrificed her having all of the twelve tribes because she did not want her sister Leah to be humiliated.

The question Rabbi Olbaum asks, ‘I understand there’s no street lights and it’s properly pitch dark, but didn’t Yaacov realize it’s not Rachel he’s with? Even the breathing of a person is recognizable. If Yaacov was so careful with the signs, then wouldn’t he be as diligent and on the alert at this crucial juncture too? Nevertheless, the next morning he was surprised. How can that be?

Our sages teach us that Rachel’s virtue was modesty, to such an extent that the sensitive Yaacov wasn’t able to discover and recognize her scent and voice. This characteristic of Rachel’s embracement of modesty enabled Leah to be saved. If it were any other woman, she would have been discovered. Clothing is the face of modesty; it creates a barrier from sinning. David, who is the descendant of Leah (from the tribe of Yehuda) cut the garment of Shaul (from the descendants of Rachel).

In essence, you cut the hand that feeds you. If it weren’t for Rachel, where would Leah be? The modesty of Rachel saved Leah. David targeted one of the strengths of Shaul who also practiced, and was known for modesty, just like his ancestor. Seemingly, this lack of respect was a grave sin.

We see modesty is one of the building blocks of Judaism and clothing is its vehicle. One of the reasons a Jew wears a Talit or Tzitzit is because it is a spiritual garment in which G-d gave us. It too is a garment that represents the foundation of Judaism to the highest degree.

Are You Aware of Your Talents?
   spark plug

 

Because of Thanksgiving, last week was a short week, and yours truly had to submit the articles for this amazing newsletter earlier then the usual time. Unfortunately, because of the pressure of the early bird special, I forgot to submit a dedication for my Grandfathers yartziet.

I’m not known as a person with tendency to execrate sarcasm, as my wife would complain, is more of an accurate description of me. So if I say that my grandfather was one of the best, if not thee best Chazzan (cantor) in the Bukharian community in Israel during the period 1935-1970, it’s safe to believe the accuracy of the statement.

My grandfather, Moshe Kimyagaroff z’l, had enormous talent and a lion of a voice. It’s a shame I wasn’t able to hear him in his hey-day; I guess that’s life. Perhaps, I believe, the most important aspect of his talents is that he always gave his all; he never held back.

A very important lesson comes to mind in Tanach (prophets). There was a very talented chazzan named Navot. Three times a year, Shavuot, Sukkoth, and Pesach, many of the Jews all over Israel would walk to Jerusalem to participate in the Temple ceremonies of sacrifices and festivities. These three holidays till today are known as the Shalosh Regalim (3 legs, walking to the temple).

Apparently, Navot fell under the trap of being pampered as a result of his extremely talented voice. His moodiness made him a bit lax and he felt the trip to Jerusalem was a bit much on one of the Holidays (shalosh regalim). So he decided to skip it.

The sages describe G-d as being angry with Navot. ‘I gave you a beautiful voice purposely so you can sing and beautify the holiday, and you don’t want toperform. The voice I gave you was to be utilized and if you’re not performing and using the tools and talents I gave you. Well, maybe you don’t belong here.’

Soon after, the wicked king of Israel (kingdom was split in two: Judah and Israel), Achav, took a liking to Navot’s vineyard and expressed interest in buying it. Navot mistakenly refused which propelled Achav to desire it more. Achav was so distraught that he desperately placed his wife Izevel in charge, who framed Navot with treason. She had him and his family executed.

The sages teach us this was the result of not using the gifts that G-d had given. We all are given gifts that we have to bring out to this world and perform. Sometimes, those gifts are apparent to all; sometimes not. Although, we think we are talented in some areas, it’s not so; it’s just something we like. A person, for example, wants to be a singer/actor and perform on stage because he wants to be famous and be applauded; that’s not talent, that’s trying to satisfy the ego. One should not get tricked by his bad traits and pursue something he might regret later.

In the case of making a living, some go in to their father’s business, even though they don’t have the knack or talent for it. One has to figure out where his gifts lie. The Chovot Halevavot says one has to make use of his natural talents.

When the Jews were in the desert and they were constructing the Mishkan (Temple), everyone was asked to volunteer what they are skilled in. This was difficult and new to our ancestors at the time, because they had just come out from slavery and were not privileged to express themselves. But with heart and soul, they each brought out their best.

We have to take advantage of our freedom and to make it a priority to find out where our talents lie, whether for making a living or just to better our lives.

Is There a Section in the Yellow Pages for a Kabbalist? 
   parking ticket

            If one asks most Americans the question, whom do they confide in the most? Many would have on top of their list, a therapist. If one asks a religious Jew, especially from Sephardic origin, who they confide in the most, who’s on top of their list? They would answer a kabbalist. No one should leave home without one. How can any one survive without a kabbalist? Everyone wants to have the edge on life, and a kabbalist provides that crucial information. But does it really make a difference following their advice?

After hearing this Gemara, (Tractate Succah), one may have second thoughts. One day King Solomon see’s the angel of death feeling sad, sitting hunched over. ‘Why are you so sad?’ King Solomon asks. ‘I have to kill these two good looking and strong slaves’, replied the angel of death. Shlomo realized these two slaves are two of his trusted servants. He immediately summoned them and instructed them to quickly, with armed guards, run to Luz. Luz is a secret town, which no one ever dies. Only a few know how to get there. The servants were escorted by King Solomon’s trusted guards to Luz. When they finally reached the entrance of Luz, they unexpectedly meet the angel of death. He takes out his sword and kills them both. The next morning, King Solomon see’s the angel of death happy and smiling from ear to ear. ‘Why are you so happy?’ Shlomo asks. The angel of Death replied ‘you tried to outsmart me, well, you can’t outsmart an old fox. These two slaves were destined to die at the gates of Luz; but there was no way to get them to that destination. How am I going to get them there? I asked. I threw the fish in the water and you took the bait.’

When a person is destined to be somewhere, he’ll be there, no matter what. If one starts to play around with an extra-terrestrial being, doing hocus pocus, hee-gee gee-bee, well, somehow it seems like it might be futile. One has to use his own abilities and know-how through his absorption of the Torah to guide him in life. One should not rely on a kabbalist. Unfortunately, the hardest seller of this article is yours truly. It’s awfully tempting. Isn’t it?

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Toldos

 

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Toldos

November 24, 2011
27 Cheshvan, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Toldos Highlights
Parshat Toldos – Why Did Jacob Receive the Prestigious Bracha in Such a Manor – Stealing?
A Lesson to be Learned from the Penn State Scandal
The Bar Mitzvah Boy Who Pulled a Fast One

 

Parshat Toldos Highlights

 

▪ The parsha starts off by reaffirming Isaac is, in fact, Abraham’s son; the commentaries mentioned he even looked like his father. This was purposely done by G-d because Abraham and Sarah could not have kids for many years and people might doubt that Isaac was really his.

 

▪ After years of Isaac and Rivka not having children, Rivka is finally pregnant with twins.

 

▪ Rivka gives birth to Eisav, who has a full head of red hair. The second child that is born is named Yaacov.

 

▪ Isaac loves Eisav while Rivka loves Yaacov.

 

▪ Eisav sells his birthright for a cup of soup to his brother Yaacov (the incident occurred the day their grandfather Abraham dies).

 

▪ There’s a famine in the land and Isaac and Rivka go to Avimelech, King of the Philistines. Puzzling the script is the same as his father Abraham, who went down with Sarah, his wife, to both Philistine and Egypt. Isaac tells the king the same story as his father did, many years before, ‘she’s (Rivka) my sister’. The reason is people might kill me so they can take my wife. Avimelech finds out it’s his wife and orders ‘anyone touches this woman will be killed’.

 

▪ The Philistines felt threatened by Isaac’s successes in Gerar. They did not honor his treaty with his father by filling the wells in which Abraham dug forcing Isaac to leave. Isaac settled in the valley of Gerar where he dug three wells and successfully found water.

 

▪ Avimelech makes a treaty with Isaac.

 

▪ Eisav finds wives that are not appropriate.

 

▪ Isaac asks Eisav to hunt and make him his favorite meal so he can give him an important blessing.

 

▪ Yaacov deceives Isaac and impersonates Eisav on instructions from his mother and goes and receives the bracha from his blind father.

 

▪ Eisav vows to kill Yaacov.

 

▪ Rivka is not happy with the quality of the girls in Canaan; she convinces Isaac to send Yaacov to her family in Padena Aram.

 

▪ Eisav saw that Isaac sent Yaacov to Padena Aram to find a wife. He too realized the Caanite women were not good. So he marries the daughter of Yishmael, his uncle.

Parshat Toldos – Why Did Jacob Recieve the Prestigious Bracha in Such a Manor – Stealing?
abraham's tent

One of the most puzzling questions in the Torah is why did Yaacov have to demean himself to an uncharacteristic extent and resort to stealing the most prestigious bracha of all time? Secondly, and equally puzzling, his mother – of all people – is the mastermind. It’s as if these personalities, our beloved ancestors (strait laced honest Yaacov and his beloved mother Rivka) have taken on different characters for this role, for this operation, ‘OPERATION: GET THE BRACHA’. It seems kind of odd. Rav Gedalia Schorr (Or Gedalyahu) offers a riveting answer. He says, both of Issac’s sons, Yaacov and Eisav have come to correct the character of the first man, Adam. Yaacov before the sin and Eisav after the sin.

We’re able to derive from the Chumash that both boys, Yaacov and Eisav, were exceptionally talented in their own right. Each brother, according to the Zohar, had an equally important mission to better the world and eventually pave the road for the quick arrival of the Mashiach. We see from the Scripture, ‘ish tam yoshev ohalim’ (wholesome man abiding in tents) referring to Yaacov. His mission was to expand knowledge of math, science, and philosophy, as well as increase sensitivity towards fellow man, etc., through the Torah and through G-d’s words. Yaacov’s task was to appeal to people (the elite) who are already committed to G-d but want to expand their horizons in spirituality. This scenario is similar to the state of Adam in Gan Eden before the sin, which were basically, to increase G-d’s message, and having the luxury of very minimal intervention of the evil forces.

Eisav, on the other hand, had a different task. His mission was to convince the people of the world who are not believers. He was given the talent of ‘ish yodeah tzayid’ (a man who knows how to hunt). A hunter tricks his prey by setting traps; these traps are set through clever words combined with illusions and stretching the truth. G-d empowered Eisav with the ability to fight the evil powers by tricking it. One needs all different kinds of props and sparks to motivate oneself and overcome the negative powers so it can be easier to believe in G-d. Eisav was also given the ability to enjoy physical pleasures so he can show the world you can enjoy physicality and also serve G-d to the utmost.

However, Eisav used his tools in a wrong way. Instead of overpowering the evil powers, they overpowered him. He used his tremendous talents of hunting, giving, and receiving pleasures, for his own satisfaction. With those powerful tools used incorrectly, he became a dangerous monster on a collision course to destroy the world.

It was his mother, Rivka, who realized Eisav’s failure. She knew the importance to fill the void that Eisav has abandoned. The logical choice was Yaacov, who would now be required to fulfill both roles. This strait laced honest man now must show the ability to trick and stretch the truth and be a hunter as well as his natural ability to enhance the world intellectually.

Therefore, Yaacov receives the crucial bracha transformed into both Eisav and himself.

As Jews, we have a double task of both Yaacov and Eisav in the world. This very difficult responsibility entitles us to be the chosen people. That is the reason we, as Jews, are always looked under a magnifying glass.

A Lesson to be Learned From the Penn State Scandal 
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In the last few weeks we discovered ugliness in the establishment of American pride. Penn State, which has one of the most prestigious college football programs in the country, has been hit by scandal. One of their former top assistant coaches was accused of raping a minor (10 year old boy) in the shower at the athletic facility on campus by a graduate assistant coach. The incident occurred in 2002.The graduate assistant coach, Mike McQueary, did not stop the violator, Jerry Sandusky, at the time of the occurrence; although the next day, he did report the incident to his superior, the famous and legendary Penn State head coach, Joe Paterno. Paterno, in turn, also informed his superiors.The fact that McQueary did not stop him (Sandusky raping the boy) resulted in many reported death threats against him. I gave a fascinating lecture last week (there is a link to it on Torahanytime.com) on what goes through the mind of a person who is confronted with this situation. What does one do upon seeing your superior, mentor, and friend in a position committing a crime? It’s a very interesting lecture and I suggest it not be missed.

But it’s important to note, the hierarchy of the school didn’t report it to the police. Although some speculate the power and influence in which Coach Paterno had enabled the case to be swept under the rug; regardless if it was reported to the police. To tarnish the reputation of the school and its beloved coaching staff might be a far greater sin.

Penn State College football is a moneymaking machine and its coach is legendary. Who would want to break up this mega giant?

A week after the story broke, out eight more boys (now they’re older) came out as victims of Sandusky. The number as of November 18 is at forty, and unfortunately is increasing. In 2002, Mike McQueary, Joe Paterno and co. (Coach Joe Paterno and the President of the Penn State have since been fired) had a chance to stop this monster and they didn’t. Now there are 40 potential predators whose lives were ruined and possibly will go out and ruin other lives. This is the result, as Dr Neil Levey suggests, having their (Penn State administration and athletic dept) priorities misplaced. They asked themselves what’s more important; we know their answer.

I read something very interesting by Rav Henoch Leibowitz z”l (in his book Chidushea Halev on this week’s Parsha) which pertains to the above shame. When Eisav found out that Yaacov stole the brachot, he screamed loud and troublesome, out of despair. The sages suggested that many hundreds of years later, as a measure for measure, the Jews screamed loud and troublesome, out of despair, upon hearing the decree of destruction that Eisav’s descendant, Haman orchestrated against them. But why was Yaacov (the Jews, his descendants) punished? Yaacov followed his mother’s advice. She actually convinced him (and he knew it himself) the brachot are important for the continuation of the world and he has to take the responsibility of not only his, but also his brother Eisav. Therefore he was required to take the bracha at any cost.

The reason is, Rav Henoch suggests that Yaacov didn’t feel enough pain in his heart for his brother losing the bracha. Even though he didn’t deserve it, there should have been certain sadness in Yaacov. It’s our duty to feel for our brethren even though it has no bearings on us. This is what is expected of us. Feel for your brother.

If one does not have sensitivities to his fellow to the highest degree, then eventually relationships will degenerate. Here, the priorities and morals of the Penn State hierarchy were not proper. A human being is not so important. They didn’t want to puncture the school’s image; now that’s important! It would cause them great financial loss. Money and image were more important than human beings. With many universities, it is not about higher education and being a better mentch, it’s a cash cow and it’s our duty to milk the system, stepping on anybody that gets in the way. After all, isn’t this what America is all about?

The Bar Mitzvah Boy Who Pulled a Fast One 
   parking ticket

I was at a Bar Mitzvah a few weeks ago and a friend, Uri, asked me to play Sherlock Holmes and solve this case:
Question: Two boys are born the same year, Avi who is older then Ronny by a week.  But when they reached Bar Mitzvah, Ronny will be a Bar Mitzvah first by at least 3 weeks. How is that possible?
Answer: During a leap year, there are 2 Adar’s, Adar Aleph and Adar Bet.  Avi was born the 29th of Adar Aleph while Ronny was born the 3rd of Adar Bet. When their Bar Mitzvah year rolled around, there was only one Adar. Since Ronny was born on the 3rd of Adar, he goes first while Avi has to wait till the 29th.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Chayei Sarah

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Chayei Sarah

November 17, 2011
20 Cheshvan, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

We are now displaying business ads in our newsletter. If you are interested in placing an ad, please email me or call 917-804-7692. It’s completely tax deductible and the proceeds go to teaching people Torah. Be a part of the Mitzvah!

 

Please print out this newsletter and say over a great D’var Torah at the Friday night Shabbos table.

 

Please forward to a friend and be a partner in spreading Torah.

 

Dedicate a newsletter, shuir and a CD in memory of a loved one.

 

In This Issue
Parshat Chayei Sarah Highlights
Parshat Chayei Sarah – The Art of Adapting
Source of Tradition
Important Note Before Shabbat

Parshat Chayei Sarah Highlights
 

* We open the parsha with the narrative accounting of Sarah’s (Abraham’s wife) age, implying that she has passed on.

 

* Abraham buys a burial plot (Ma’arat Hamachpela) from Efron Hachiti (this is where Adam and Eve are buried).

 

* Abraham sends Eliezer, his trusted advisor, to Charan, to find a wife for his son Yitzchak.

 

* As Eliezer arrives at the outskirts of Charan, he camps by the well where a young girl offers to serve him and his camels water. Eliezer’s prayers were answered because the girl who showed the tremendous kindness was none other than Rivka, the daughter of Betuel, Abraham’s relative. Eliezer knew he has met Yitzchak’s soul mate.

 

* Eliezer consummates the deal with Rivka’s family; here, we are introduced to Lavan, Rivka’s brother, for the first time.

 

* Eliezer brings her home to Yitzchak where they become husband and wife.

 

* Abraham marries Keturah (Rashi says she is Hagar) where she bears him 6 sons, all of which got presents and were sent away; meaning they were not the primary sons of Abraham.

 

* Abraham dies at the age 175 and his sons Yitzchak and Yishmael bury him.

 

* Yishmael dies.

Parshat Chayei Sarah – The Art of Adapting
abraham's tent

In life, one must learn to adapt to a situation, whether it be work, school, marriage, birth, death, diet, or with friends. No matter how harsh living conditions may be, no matter how difficult the environment, no matter how irritating or obnoxious the person, a human being is able to adapt and survive. But, we shall shortly learn from the teaching of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, that there is an important ingredient, which should be infused in the process of adapting, in order for it to be successful.

It is this message, which will clarify to us the difference between Abraham’s reaction to G-d’s command to bring his son Yitzchak as a sacrifice, as opposed to that of his wife Sarah. Abraham was eager to fulfill G-d’s command. Sarah, on the other hand, when she heard what had transpired, could not bear the news, and died instantly. How can two great people have reacted so differently to the same event? What makes this question even more puzzling, was that Sarah was on a higher level then her husband in prophecy.

The answer is that Abraham was made aware in agradual manner that Yitzchak was to be brought as a sacrifice, thus allowing his feelings and emotions to adapt to the challenge awaiting him. G-d told him ‘Take your son’ then ‘your only son whom you love’. Only then did he inform him that Yitzchak was to be sacrificed.Thus, if Abraham had been confronted suddenly that it was Yitzchak who was to be sacrificed, he would not have survived. It was the gradual realization of this fact that made him digest this. He was therefore able to perform G-d’s command. Such was not the case with Sarah who was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization of what had happened and died resulting from the shock.

Another example of how delicate and gradual one must be, is G-d’s reaction after Adam sinned by eating from the tree of knowledge. G-d appeared close to Adam and asked ‘Where are you?’ G-d knew where Adam was, but He wanted to confront him in a manner that he would not be startled. The guilt of his sin was overwhelming; any sudden confrontation would have emotionally destroyed Adam.

Let’s not forget Serach bat Asher, the granddaughter of our father Yaacov, who played the harp singing ‘Yosef (his favorite son who was presumed dead for 22 years) is still alive and living in Egypt’. The overwhelming sudden joy would have been proven too much and would have killed him. Serach presented it in a delicate, clever gradual way in which Yaacov was able to comprehend without the shocking affect.

The Gemarah (Sotah13a) states that soon after Yaacov’s death, seventeen years later, when Yaacov’s sons were taking his body to the Cave of Machpela for burial, a confrontation took place between his sons and his evil brother Eisav. Eisav came and protested that the plot of land (Cave of Machpela) belonged to him. A debate ensued and it was decided that one of the brothers would return to Egypt and retrieve the deed to show that Yaacov indeed owned the property.

A deaf grandson Chushim (son of Naftali) wondered, why the cause of the delay? When they communicated with him, he exclaimed ‘What? Our grandfather will lie in degradation until the deed is brought?’ whereupon he immediately killed Eisav.

Why was Chushim, a grandson, more concerned about Yaacov’s honor than Yaacov’s own sons? Rav Chaim answers, all the brothers had been slowly drawn into the argument with Eisav, gradually dulling their sensitivity to their father’s shame. Chushim, being deaf, was completely unaware of the situation. When he realized the reason for the delay, he could not contain his anger and killed Eisav.

One has to be aware of the delicate nature of man. He has to approach situations gradually. Furthermore, man must be aware and use his most powerful tool ‘to speak’  properly by delivering news, whether good or bad, gradually, so the process of adapting should go smoothly and successfully.

Source of Tradition 
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             At the beginning of this week’s parsha, we find Abraham busy arranging his wife Sarah’s funeral. Although the Bible is not a history book, it also does not show the emotional side of our forefathers either. However, through our traditions and our other sources that depict the human emotional side, we are able to feel the pulse of our ancestors. Such is the case of Abraham, in this difficult situation of the death of his beloved wife.

We learn from our sages that Abraham and Sarah were very close and showed tremendous respect for each other. They had a common goal and sought to accomplish it through their different personalities. Abraham was charismatic and outgoing, while Sarah’s virtue was modesty.

One should note that one of the most beautiful experiences of love for a Jew is the Friday night Shabbat table (if its performed correctly); and one of the traditions is for a husband to recite (sing) eshet chayil (woman of valor) in front of his wife. In this recitation, which is found in the last chapter of King Solomon’s Mishlai, it describes the virtue of the beloved wives of Israel. The sages and many commentaries are in unison that eshet chayil is based on the emotional eulogy in which Abraham presented at his wife Sarah’s funeral. As far as tradition goes this piut, (poem) goes back 4000 years to that emotional day when there wasn’t a dry-eyed person listening to Abraham express his love, one last time, for his wife.

The family is brought together Friday night, when the power of Shabbat focuses on bringing the family closer through love and respect, just as Abraham had for his wife Sarah.

Important Note Before Shabbat 
   parking ticket

            Did you know that if one lights Shabbat candles on a table, even after the candles are extinguished on the table upon which it was standing, the table cannot be moved until after Shabbat is over. The table is muktzah.

Muktzah items are those that are not allowed to be moved on Shabbat. It’s a rabbinical law created as a fence to prevent one from stumbling and violating Shabbat. These preventive measures are fences, which are essential to the survival and to our commitment of the commandment ‘keeping the Shabbat’.

I can understand why one can’t move the table while the candles are lit; the reason is, candles are more prone to be put out while moving and one might be tempted to light them again, therefore violating the Shabbat.

But why can’t one move the table after the candles are no longer lit? The answer is, the lit candles and the tables, which was muktzah during the period of bein hashmashot, are at a frozen state until after Shabbat.

Bein hashmashot is a time period between sunset and nightfall that many commentaries say has an unknown status of what day it belongs to. One can also reach tremendous spiritual heights during this period, especially Friday afternoon before Shabbat. If I may ask the readers, what is the most important prayer of the year? The answer is ‘Neilah’ on Yom Kippur, which is purposely said during bein hashmashot. The reason being is that during bein hashmashot on Friday is when Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, sinned. Therefore, we try to fix their mistake. Apparently, if one notices that on many occasions, there is friction between a husband and wife during this time. One has to rectify and be extra careful and to know that he should try to withstand any hardships at bein hashmashot, and then he will reap tremendous rewards. Perhaps this is why the prayer eshet chayil (woman of valor) is said Friday night at the Shabbat table after bein hashmashot, after the uncomfortable nature Adam and Eve had towards one another. Eshet chayil is reconciliation and is to reaffirm the commitment of husband and wife.

Rabbi Akiva Tatz mentions that when one passes on to the next world, there is an unknown status between life and death where the person experiences nothing but darkness. During this period, the evil powers tries to convince the individual, “you see there is nothing here; all this talk about life after death and heaven is all nonsense. It was just a farce that the Rabbis wanted you to believe.” If one believes and is convinced this is true, he loses everything; he loses it all. His status, which consists of his thoughts and belief at that moment, is frozen for eternity. He could have been a big tzadik all his life, but lose it all at that crucial moment of in-between. This is the reason that it’s recommended for a loved one to say shema yisrael when one leaves the world. The soul is in a scared and confused state; it needs strength from any source it can get.

We tend to rush and lose our cool trying to get all things done before Shabbat. Please use caution during this period.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Bo


“I DON’T WANT TO OFFEND YOUR-MAJESTY, YOUR-HIGHNESS, BUT YOUR FIRST BORN BOYS WILL DIETONIGHT” said Moshe to Pharaoh.

That’s a weird way to address a king: respect and a fist in the mouth!  Before the tenth plague, Moshe informs Pharaoh that all of his servants will be looking for Moshe begging him to stop the plague. Turns out, it was actually Pharaoh himself who, in the middle of the night, in pajamas, went door to door trying to find Moshe to beg that he and the Israelites should leave.

Moshe was very accurate and meticulous when speaking to Pharaoh. If so, why wasn’t he more accurate by proclaiming that indeed it would be Pharaoh himself who will be parading in his nightly attire seeking him?

Moshe acted properly in treating the king with respect and not hurting an authoritative figure. By pointing a finger at Pharaoh and telling him “this will happen to you” is a gross lack of respect.

RESPECT?!-EXCUSE ME CHABIBI! Pharaoh was a RASHA! He tortured and enslaved the Jews; he ordered the execution of Jewish babies! You want to give this monster respect?! On the contrary, Pharaoh should be dragged around town and humiliated!!

However, the Torah is trying to teach us about respecting authority, any authority. There has to be respect for the leaders, teachers and parents. This is a very hard and foreign concept for us Americans to fathom, as we live in a democratic society where every time a politician slips, we scream “throw the bum out”!

The National Rifle Association has taken an unfathomable position after the Newtown tragedy, in which twenty six people, mostly children, were killed; they are in favor of guns. Truth be told, the NRA represents the epitome of democracy. The NRA was created as the result of the second amendment which permitted guns to be possessed. This was to ensure that no government will turn tyranny; hence there should be an armed militia accessible, just in case.  Initially, this seems very appropriate. However, although there are plenty of positives to a democratic system, all of them are at the expense of the watering down of respect for authoritative figures.

The Torah wants to emphasize the importance of having respect for authority; a king, a president, no matter how much the late show hosts poke fun of them. They represent the people and they enforce order in society. G-d loves an orderly society, even at the expense of believing in Him.

First Portion: * Even Pharaoh’s advisers suggested that he release the Israelites, but he refused. Unfortunately, the advisers still followed his command. History often repeats itself; this is the first of many times where “they just followed orders” from their evil leader. One cannot do that; opposition groups should have arose if they thought Pharaoh was wrong; grass roots should have begun to make themselves known. However, they didn’t, and therefore the Egyptian nation as a whole was responsible for their actions, just as Pharaoh was.

* Moshe and Aharon threaten to bring another plague, locusts.

* Pharaoh’s response was to let just the men go, and leave the women and children. Moshe obviously refused, setting the stage for the locusts.

Second Portion: * Pharaoh runs to find Moshe to beg him to stop the plague, stating, “I have sinned to G-d”. Sounds sincere, no?! Ha! Only a short time later, Pharaoh returns to his stance of refusal to let them go.

* Moshe brought upon Egypt the next plague, darkness, through the command of G-d.

* Many of the Israelites who were not following in the way of G-d perished in this plague. The reason why G-d chose this particular plague is because He did not want the Egyptians to say, “We’re not the only ones being punished”. By the time the Egyptians arose from the darkness, those Jews were already buried.

Third Portion: * Pharaoh said to Moshe, “You can leave, but your flock and cattle shall remain”. Moshe retorted back, “We will leave with all we have”.

* G-d made it so that the Jews were able to take gold, silver, and clothing from the Egyptians. The Egyptians themselves honored the requests of the Israelites to “lend them” gold, silver etc.

Fourth Portion: * G-d informs Moshe of the last plague, death of the Egyptian firstborn children.

* G-d instructs Moshe and Aharon how to fulfill the first commandment of the Torah. G-d informs them starting with “This month, I will implement a calendar system”. The calendar is based on the moon and is regulated by the sun. The time span between one new moon and the next is 29 days, 12 hours, 44 minutes, and 3 ½ seconds. Since a month has to be composed of complete days, the months alternate between 29 and 30 days. So a 12-month year contains 354 days, as opposed to 365 days in a solar year. In order to make up the eleven day difference which, after many years, will cause a problem because Nissan, a spring month (Pesach has to be in the spring), will fall out in the winter. Therefore, the Torah instituted a leap year, which adds a 13th month (Adar ll) to the year, seven times every nineteen years. This will ensure that Pesach will fall out in the springtime each year.

* The Seder night of Pesach, which we still commemorate today, is a very powerful night because that was when G-d showed tremendous mercy on our ancestors many years ago. On that night, back then, we were instructed to perform the Pesach offering, which consists of roasting a lamb or sheep (these animals were sacred and were the Egyptian gods, by slaughtering them, it’s a slap in the face to the Egyptians). The blood from the offering was to be painted on the doorpost. While we were eating the Pesach offering in our homes, G-d skipped over our houses. Only the Egyptians were struck when He killed the firstborns.

* We are introduced in this portion as to how to perform our obligation on the holiday of Pesach.

Fifth Portion: * Interestingly, the Israelites were commanded not leave their homes on the night of the death of the firstborns of the Egyptians, “or else the angel of death will smite you too.”  One must ask, wasn’t it understood that G-d himself would kill the Egyptian firstborns? Still, the angel was specifically instructed to kill any Jews who left their homes. We learn an important lesson; one is not permitted to feel good in watching their enemy being tortured or killed. Although the Egyptians tortured the Jews, G-d still made sure not to let them see what was done to the Egyptians.

Sixth Portion: * Pharaoh ran out in his pajamas in the middle of the night to find Moshe and begged him to stop the plagues and to leave. He said the whole Jewish nation should leave.

*There were 600,000 men between the ages of 20 and 60 who left Egypt.

*In their haste, they left while the bread did not finish baking. This bread is called matzoh.

*The Jews were in exile 210 years.

Seventh Portion: * We conclude the Parsha with two passages, one is about the firstborn and the other is teaching the future generations. As we got prepared to leave Egypt, we were in essence graduating to a “nation” status. The narrative is directing us from slave status to a bright future where, now, the father of the household has a say and influence, and will be able to pass down the tradition of the gift that was given by G-d – the Torah.

Parshat Yitro

First Portion: * Yitro was Moshe’s father-in-law as well as a former advisor to Pharaoh. Yitro actually advised favorably for the Jews on the subject of the Israelites’ fate. However, his advice was not taken well, and he was forced to flee. He also was a high priest in Midyan.

* Many nations had seen and heard the miracles that G-d performed for the Jews in Egypt and at sea. However, Yitro comprehended what G-d had done. He was impressed to the point that it changed him and he was ready to convert to Judaism.

*Originally, Yitro’s name was Yeter, only later the letter VAV was added to his name, making it Yitro. This served as both as a sign of his having become a Jew and to indicate that the parsha of appointing Judges was added to the Torah in his honor. In many instances, the Torah adds a letter to a person’s name as a sign of his having acquired greatness. Conversely, a letter is omitted from someone’s name if he fails to maintain his spiritual status.

* Moshe sends a message to Tziporah, his wife, to meet him at a certain point in the desert. Yitro arrived with Tziporah and Moshe’s two sons at the scheduled meeting place.

* A meal offering was initiated by Yitro commemorating his circumcision and his introduction to Judaism. We see many years later that the King of Israel, Shaul, warned the Canaanites, who were the descendants of Yitro, to leave their residence within Amalek (enemies of the Jews) because war was imminent. The reason for such concern as to not to harm them stemmed from this meal celebration between Moshe, Aharon, Yitro, and other high-ranking officials. We see the power of a sit down meal celebration when done for the sake of mitzvah, and how positive it can be so that it has long lasting effects, even hundreds of years later.

Second Portion: * Yitro’s experience in public office where he had had a high ranking position in Pharaoh’s super power government, enabled him to advise Moshe on how to be more proficient in his duties and make the justice system run better.

* There is a question as to why Moshe wasn’t able to derive the advice that Yitro gave him from the Torah itself? We have to understand that although the Torah provides us with great wisdom, there will be, on occasion, an individual who can provide sound advice. G-d’s purposely teaching us that it’s not the intellectual superiority which is the main part, nor are we more culturally advanced than the other nations, rather the focal point is the spiritual superiority.

Third Portion: * Moshe took the advice of his father-in-law.

* Yitro decided to return to Midyan.

* Why did Yitro decide to return to Midyan? Wouldn’t he feel more comfortable with his new comrades (his fellow circumcised Jews)? (See one of my schmooze in the email newsletter). One should note that Ruth the Midyanit convert decided to go to Israel with her former mother-in-law rather than go back to her former home. It would be most difficult to maintain one’s religious level among people who do not have the same goals as you. So indeed, why did Yitro return to Midyan?

Fourth Portion: * The Israelites arrived at Mount Sinai and Moshe went up to receive the Torah.

* G-d told Moshe to tell the people, “If you keep My Torah, I will hold you in great esteem”.

Fifth Portion: * Moshe came down from the mountain and related everything that G-d is demanding of us. The elders, the leaders, all answered back “We will do whatever G-d says”.

* Moshe gave instructions for the preparations necessary to receive the Torah.

* The nation gathered at the bottom of the mountain.

Sixth Portion: * G-d’s aura had descended and rested upon the Israelites. This was the closest the Jews have ever been to the presence of G-d.

* The first two commandments were recited by G-d. However, the people weren’t able to withstand the rays of G-d’s presence. Therefore, Moshe recited the last eight.

* The Ten Commandments are divided into five and five. The first five on the right are commandments between G-d and man, while the second five are commandments between man and his fellow man.

Seventh Portion: * One cannot even imagine what a special moment in history this was. The scripture says they actually saw the voices!!

* Only three Jews did not witness the revelation at Mount Sinai, Yitro and Moshe’s two sons. How can that be – Moshe’s sons? This was designed by G-d so that Moshe can perform what every father and Rabbi is commanded to do, to pass down the Torah to the next generation. Almost the whole nation experienced the Sinai experience, so there was no passing down for a while. Still, they learned from the best teacher and the best lesson; Moshe taught his two sons.

* Three million Jews witnessed the receiving of the Torah. No other religion has witnesses of this magnitude that have seen the revelation of their religion.