Tag Archive for Yosef

Parsha Vayechi

 

 

First Portion: I’d like to ask the reader a question. Are You the Same Person You Were Five Years Ago? My wife has always said that I still have scars from my days when I was single. I got married late and I had a difficult time finding the right one. BARUCH HASHEM! My wife says that I’m very cynical. I tried to explain to her that I’ve always been cynical; it’s me! In this week’s parsha we find the SAME O’L YOSEF. Yaacov wanted his son Yosef to swear that he would take his remains to Israel. Those who are buried there are privileged to be resurrected first when the MASHIACH will come. Those buried outside Israel will have to go through a very painful and delayed process of rolling underground towards the holy land. For this reason, burial plots today are prime real estate in Israel.

 

By Yosef swearing, it reaffirmed and reassured Yaacov’s belief that Yosef remained a tzaddik even though he went through the trials and tribulations of being captured as a slave as well as being a leader (involved in politics) of a non-Jewish nation. Both are major obstacles. One (being captured) was depressing and the other had the pitfalls of tremendous desire. Nevertheless, Yosef remained Yosef. Yaacov noticed a very important consistency in his attitude. Only a truly righteous individual can weather any storm and not say ” ahh what does G-d want from me? No matter how good I am I’m still getting the short end of the stick!” The attitude that Yosef had was that I am a servant of G-d and this is the situation G-d wants me to be in now; nothing should get me down”. This a very difficult test for all of us. However, this is the optimal attitude that G-d wants from us and one that we should all have.

 

The Divrai Chaim, one of the Chasidic greats of many years ago, once said that he was jealous of Rabbi Hershel, who was one of the Torah Giants of his generation. Doing kindness is of major importance in our religion and the Torah Greats would be front and center in accomplishing this MITZVA. “I am jealous because when an opportunity to give charity comes and Rabbi Hershel doesn’t have the funds, he does not feel bad in saying I don’t have; I do. I feel bad. He has the proper, but most difficult, attitude of saying “this is the situation G-d wants me to be in today”; NO FUNDS, CAN’T GIVE. CAN’T DO A KINDNESS. He felt no pain because this is what G-d wants. It was for this reason that the Divrai Chaim was jealous. One has to be consistent in his attitude towards any situation that comes his way, because at the end of the day, we have to weather all storms and say to ourselves that this is the situation G-d wants me to be in!!

 

Second Portion: Yaacov tells Yosef “your two sons will be added to the list of the tribes”. In other words, Yosef gets a double portion, which is what all first-borns get. The first-born status was taken away from Reuben and transferred to Yosef, who actually was the first-born to Yaacov from a different mother (Rachel).

 
* Yaacov crosses his arms as he is giving the bracha to Yosef’s sons. His right hand crosses over to Efraim, the younger son, and on Menashe, the eldest, he placed his weaker hand, his left hand.

 

Third Portion: Yosef alarmingly informed his father that his right hand is not on the first born, fearing more rift and jealousy among the offspring. Yaacov reiterated “I know, he will also be great”. Apparently, Yaacov saw through Divine powers that Yehoshuah will come out of Efraim. Therefore, Efraim needed an extra boost, an extra “jolt”, of Bracha.

 
* Yaacov gave the city of Shechem to Yosef as an inheritance. Yosef received a double portion because he was now the first born ever since the status was taken away from Reuben.

 

Fourth Portion: Yaacov wished to reveal to his sons the time of the arrival of the Moshiach. However, G-d had a different plan. The redemption had to remain concealed because G-d was afraid that future generations would despair during their exile if they knew that the destined time was a long way off. G-d therefore made the Divine prophesy departs temporarily from Yaacov. However, Yaacov not knowing this, was afraid that the prophesy departed from him because one of his sons were unworthy of the Divine blessing. He therefore asked his sons, ” How can I know if your hearts are fully with G-d?” They unanimously responded “SHEMA YISRAEL HASHEM ELOKANU HASHEM ECHAD” -”Hear Yisrael (Yaacov), Hashem is our G-d, Hashem is one”. Yaacov bowed in thanks to G-d and answered quietly “BARUCH SHEM KEVOD MALCHUTO LEOLAM VAED” -”Blessed be his name whose kingdom is forever”.

 
* Yaacov then proceeded to give each one of his twelve sons a bracha. They were not ordinary brachots; they were composed with divine assistance.

 
* For acting impulsively and moving the main bed of Yaacov to his mother’s tent, Reuben lost the first-born status. This occurred after the death of Rachel, Yaacov’s favorite wife. For after Rachel died, he proceeded to put the bed in the tent of one of the other wives. Reuben wanted to protect the honor of his mother. Reuben was out of line by trying to direct his father and instruct him where to sleep.
* Levi received the Kehuna, while Yehuda received the kingdom.

 

Fifth Portion: Yaacov continues to bless his sons.

 
* A question arises – why wasn’t Yosef chosen to be the leader of the Israelites? Why did it instead come from Yehuda? Yosef proved he could lead as he was the viceroy of a superpower nation. However, Yaacov was concerned that as noble as Yosef was, he would provoke jealousy. (Abarbanel)

 

Sixth Portion: * Yaacov again instructs his children that he wants to be buried with his fathers in the Mearat Hamachpelah in Chevron, Israel.

 
* Both Yaacov and Yosef anticipated the problem that Pharaoh might not let them proceed to take Yaacov’s body to Israel. Yaacov was a good- luck charm for the Egyptians. The famine stopped immediately after he arrived. This is a pattern in history, wherever the Jews are, there is blessing. Still, the gentiles hate us and want to see us suffer. They want us to suffer and stay. When my wife left Bukhara, the natives (Uzbeks) would often say to her “we need to have ten Jews here or there is no good luck for us” (Jews traveled in groups of ten- a minyan). “While you are here, the country flourishes” the Uzbeks continued.

 

Yosef had a protective plan. Anyone who was royal had to know 70 languages; Yosef knew them. However, Pharaoh did not know Hebrew. Yosef used this as leverage and told Pharaoh that he would not divulge his secret if he would let Yosef bury Yaacov.

 

* Yosef reassures his brothers that he has no ill feelings toward them. They were concerned that after their father’s death he might retaliate for selling him.

 

Seventh Portion: After many years, Yosef passes on. Before his death, he instructs his brothers that when the time comes, he would also like to be buried in Israel.

Pesach Seder Guide

Americans have their Thanksgiving, and us Jews have our Passover. Pesach is a holiday of extreme importance where we make it our business to get together with family or be part and parcel with our fellow brethren. The Seder nights are designed to seek that togetherness so that by the end of the 15th step of the Seder (starting with kadesh, urchatz), we accomplished completeness within ourselves and as a nation and are ready for the redemption.

 

Why do Jews put such importance on this holiday? Even the most secular Jew wants to connect to the Seder table. In popularity, Pesach is head to head with Yom Kippur. Rabbi Akiva Tatz, quoting the mystics, made an interesting observation. The most intense part of anything; the most concentrated, powerful, the most strongest, is the inception, the root is where everything sprouts from. A person’s childhood is crucial for his development. Any action and reaction to an accordance would most likely be magnified and indebted in his psyche and influence his adult decisions.

 
Pesach was the inception of us being a nation; it’s the root of camaraderie; it’s our birth as a people. The root is intense and the feeling of togetherness we experienced then for the first time is brought back every year. In the heavens, the concept of time is different;years are not a factor. If one experiences Pesach or Purim, it’s as if he’s experiencing it when it actually happened for the first time. G-d showered us with kindness and mercy when we left Egypt, even though we didn’t deserve it. In order to receive that Pesach experience with the same warm feeling that G-d bestowed on us, and perhaps ask Him for our wanting needs, then one has to accomplish certain steps on the Seder night. We have to reach a perfect, complete, heavenly state of Shalem in order for our requests to be granted. On this night, that reach is a lot easier because of the power of the moment in which G-d was kind to us then, or I should say then is now. The number 15 is a significant number which represents completeness. Although we try to reach that throughout the year in our prayers (15 steps in yishtabach, 15 emet veyatziv, king davids 15 shir hama’alot), the path is a lot easier on Pesach; perhaps we should take advantage of the opportunity.

 
Let us explore the 15 steps:
Kadesh

In every happy joyous occasion, we make kiddush. Kadesh means to sanctify and here we sanctify time. Kadesh also means to separate; we are separating time. Perhaps this is where we get the expression “make something out of nothing.” We elevate the time because of the beautiful occasions. Why is wine the preference for the Kiddush? Rabbi Akiva Tatz reminds us of the famous phrase that we say for wine, “nichnass yayin yatza sod” – wine goes in, the secret comes out. The most popular explanation is we can determine by one’s drinking his true nature because wine takes away the mask, the barrier. However, R’ Tatz says the secret here is something deeper. There is a very fine line in drinking in the early stage. If one drinks slightly more than he should, he makes a fool of himself. At a certain point however, the person drinking has a vision well beyond the usual state of mind, he has the ability to think clear and to develop ideas and formulate concepts; he has the ability to use creativity to the highest caliber. Perhaps the fact that wine decreases the paranoia and sadness in one’s heart, gives way for opportunity to develop and to boldly go where one could not reach before. A Jew has the ability to sanctify time through his vision and bring down happiness at kiddush time.

Urchatz

 


This washing is in preparation for eating the karpas dipped in salt water. In the times of the temple when people were able to observe the laws of ritual purity in full, they were required to wash their hands before any produce that has been dipped in water or certain other liquids. So why do we wash our hands today? There is no temple; we don’t do it throughout the year. Why all of a sudden do we wake up now and say hey let’s wash our hands, and not throughout the year? Again, one of the themes of the Seder is to pursue the goal and increase, rekindle the hope of the final redemption where we will have a temple and we will be required to do the command that’s not required today.

Karpas

 
No double dipping please, with the exception of George. The custom of karpas is to dip a vegetable into salt water. This apparently was a sign of freedom, comfort, and indulgence. Yet we dip it into the salt water to remind us of the bitterness of the bondage. Those who are meticulous and detail-oriented should be asking a fairly obvious question. If the Seder (which means order) is in its proper order, then why is karpas here and not in the section of magid telling of the story of the exile? It appears out of sequence. In order to get a clearer understanding of this, we must examine the word karpas.

 
The word karpas is also associated with clothing. Rashi, one of the main commentaries on the Chumash, associates it with one of the threads of the coat that Yaacov, our forefather, gave as a present to Yosef. One of the main ingredients of the galut (diaspora) is disunity, separation, and strife. This is the reason why throughout history, when the Jews were united, we flirted with having the Messianic time at our doorstep. It seems like the order of the haggadah is actually quite precise. You see the galut didn’t start when the Jews were in Egypt; it started way before that. When Yaacov gave only one of his sons a coat made out of karpas/wool for a present, all the other brothers got jealous and the harmony and unity among the brothers was shattered. The coronation of the disunity between the brothers was when Yehuda, the brother they looked up to, brought Yosef’s karpas coat, after selling him to the Arabs, to Yaacov, asking him if he recognizes this, referring to the ripped coat in which they dipped in animal blood.

 
The antithesis of the dipping of Yosef’s coat is the dipping of the vegetable in the salt water. We regret the sin of our ancestors and the disunity it caused. That incident was the beginning of the exile.
Yachatz

 

We are now preparing ourselves to start the telling of the story of Pesach by laying the matzoh in front of us. We take the middle of the three matzot and break it in half leaving the smaller half in between the two, and the larger is put away for the afikoman. The patriarch of the family usually does this task. There is a mystic source that when the patriarch is breaking the matzoh, he should concentrate on many brachot for his family and for Klal Yisrael. There are different opinions as to what the three matzot represent; Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaacov (our patriarchs) or Kohen, Levi and Yisrael (the three status levels of the Israelites), are two opinions of what these matzos represent. The middle of both Yitzchak and Levi represent din – harsh judgment. Symbolically, we nullify the harsh judgment on us by breaking the middle matzoh. Matzoh is called lechem oni – bread of affliction; the phrase can also be interpreted by our sages as lechem she’onim bo – bread that you answer to it. Therefore, it’s always present when we discuss the story of the redemption from Egypt. Rabbi Naftali Landau says matza represents freedom and freedom is the everyday man. A wealthy man has to many commitments and obligations. The everyday Joe has the true taste of freedom.

 

Magid

The whole Seder is orchestrated to be a kid-friendly atmosphere. The goal is to keep the children interested. We play hide and seek with the afikoman. In some communities, the participants of the Seder playfully hit each other with scallions when the prayer dayenu is recited to keep the children awake. The reason of the strong emphasis on the children is pretty obvious – they are our future. The second half of the haggadah’s primary focus is the future. Our children will carry the baton to the messianic time, although we might see him in our time period. Dealing with children is the primary agenda. There is such delicacy when dealing with the four sons. The Torah hints that every son should be approached differently. One must realize education cannot be taught the same to everyone. I excelled in the class in third grade but didn’t learn a thing in the fourth. The Rabbis’ styles of teaching were different; their personalities were different. Naturally, I gravitated to the one I was most comfortable with. The sages don’t suggest a different teacher for every student. Economically, it’s not possible; however it’s making one aware that there is a difference.

 
The importance of passing down the tradition is quite important. In the temple, in the Holy of Holies, the keruvim, which stood on top of the aron, had the image of a father and son. This relationship, if healthy, is the essence of Judaism.

 
Rachtza

 
We always wash our hands before bread. Although the health conscience advocates applaud the act because it promotes better hygiene, its main purpose, though, is to wash away spiritual impurities. The act and its blessing is associated with eating bread. The Torah says bread is the most satisfying food, more than meat, cheese and sushi, and therefore it is considered very important. By removing any spiritual impurities through washing of the hands, one can elevate an ordinary meal with bread to a highly energized spiritual experience. We are considered physical human beings with the purpose to use the physicality tools that G-d has given us to promote excellence in all worldly areas.

 
Motzi Matzoh

 
The question is asked, if chametz is so evil that one can’t even possess it during the holiday of Pesach and matzoh has such tremendous spiritual qualities, why eat chametz altogether? Perhaps one should eat the spiritual matzoh all year long. We’ll definitely score brownie points in the great adding machine in the heavens. In fact, the sages do agree it would be ideal, but find it impossible to deprive one of bread. There is a concept in the Torah involving the number seven which is defined by the Sages as being complete. There are seven days to a week; harvest occurs on the seventh year, etc. The Torah teaches us if one keeps Pesach with the utmost intensity and meticulousness during the complete seven days (8 days outside of Israel), he will fulfill his requirement of going full circle of not consuming chametz and eating matzoh.

 
Maror

 
Although some of our brothers, the Ashkenazim have a tougher time with maror then the Sefaradim, one has to taste some level of bitterness in the maror. One does not fulfill his requirement if he swallows the maror without chewing. In fact, the Gemarah says he has to bite it into pieces with 22 teeth corresponding to the 22 letters of the alef bet, which is found in the Torah. Life is bittersweet. One can find the Torah very useful and helpful in dealing with the difficulties one receives in his lifetime.

 
Korech

 
We can look at the ma nishtana as one question instead of four – why are we mixing the bitterness of matzoh and maror with the majestic royalty of dipping and leaning at the Seder night? The same paradox can be found with Hillel who combines the matzoh (freedom) with the maror (servitude).
This is the taste Hillel is left with at the end of the night. Taste is one of the senses we are given and tonight it’s a tool to connect to the feeling our ancestors had. When Adam sinned by eating from the tree, one of his punishments was that goodness which he will now experience, will be always be mixed with a degree of bad. If one notices any happy occasion in the history of the world, was interrupted by some negativity. This is the true feeling of life and is one that our ancestors realistically experienced on their way out to freedom. One should not be disillusioned and get depressed that life has turned out the way it has.

 
Shulchan Orech

 
Enjoy the meal!! After Pesach, G-d willing, we will occasionally feature recipes of various cuisines.

 
Tzafun

 
One opinion of why we eat the afikoman is in memory of the Pesach offering. The definition of afikoman means dessert. The matzoh of the afikoman was eaten at the end of the meal replacing the desert. As mentioned earlier, it represents the redemption as well as servitude .The taste of the matzoh is the last taste in out mouths before going to bed. One should have the taste of the servitude matzoh humbling him and he should also have the taste of the redemption. We play hide and seek with our kids as we try to find the afikoman. What are we trying to find? When our forefather, Yaacov, was on his deathbed, he called all his sons and apparently was ready to reveal the secret when the Moshiach will come. However, apparently G-d hid the thought and Yaacov forgot. It’s symbolic – the kids and the grown-ups trying to find afikoman and reveal the coming of the redemption. This is why we open the door of our home to usher in Eliyahu, the prophet, who will take the role of the Moshiach.

 

Barech

 


We say the grace after meal (birkat hamazon – bentching). In the last paragraph of birkat hamazon, we read “oseh shalom bim’romav” – G-d makes peace in the heavens between fire and water then He shall surely make peace among us and He’ll make peace on all of Israel and they would say amen. If we believe in G-d the way we’re supposed to, then G-d will inject in us a portion of unity that will lead to the redemption. Just like fire and water are opposites and they are able to co-exist in the heavens; so too, no matter how different people are from one another, we’ll co-exist as well. There are many couples that are opposites (fire and water), however they get along because there is a certain commitment to the one above. It’s interesting that this passage is in the benching, where one says after being satiated. My father always said, “son, never come home after a day’s work hungry.” Always put something in your mouth before walking in the door. A hungry person gets agitated quickly and a fight is imminent. After one eats and benches, then he’s able to accomplish the goal of unity.

 
Hallel

We’re close to the end or perhaps shaping up the future. One has to be at an advanced state at this juncture of the night where showing praise and appreciation to G-d comes natural. The focus is clearly the future; however to get there, one has to realize the goodness that G-d has bestowed upon us. One of the passages we say in the Hagaddah is an important praise we sing early Shabbat morning called ‘nishmat kol chai.’ In most communities, it’s the main focal of their cantorial singing. What makes it unique in its praise and appreciation is that its composer was a Jew in the highest caliber named Shimon Khafa. About 2000 years ago, an offshoot religion started called Christianity. The great Sanhedrin (71 judges great court of Israel) was concerned that Jews will abandon Judaism for this new belief. Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel, the president of the Sanhedrin, who is quoted earlier in the Haggadah, approached Shimon Khafa to perform a difficult but important task; they wanted him to infiltrate the hierarchy of this new religion and alter, make a clear distinction between Judaism and Christianity; this way Jews won’t mistaken it as part of their own and won’t be lured in off guard. Shimon accepted and became one of the most important spies we’ve had. He successfully altered their day of rest from Saturday to Sunday, as well as, dehumanized their savior. Eventually many years later Khafa was exposed and was executed. Some say he was none other than Peter. As one can imagine, a spy cannot express his feelings outwardly. In fact, a spy has to take on a different identity; play the part. What often happens in the spy world is they play their role too well where there is confusion of who is the real person inside of you. We often have an identity crisis as is could one imagine what spies go through. However, Shimon had so much love for Hakadosh Baruch Hu (G-d), His nation, and Judaism, he composed a long and eloquent praise affirming his belief and great appreciation to life and to his master. It’s a tremendously moving piece and deeply inspiring whether it be Shabbat morning or at the Seder.

 
Nirtza

 
We conclude the Seder by asking G-d to accept our prayers and for our enthusiastic loving participation in this beautiful night. Many years ago, G-d showed us tremendous kindness and took us out even though we didn’t deserve it. It’s obviously a special night of tremendous potential kindness in which G-d can continue the flow of this good. We have to take advantage of this night. On any other night to get to a spiritual height, we have to work very hard to accomplish that task. However, tonight, the connection to the heavens is strong. (4g)

 
G-d willing, our prayers will be accepted and next year we will sit in Yerushalayim in happiness with spiritual abundance and the Moshiach. Amen.

Why Slaves?

 

OF ALL THE PUNISHMENTS, WHY DID G-D CHOOSE FOR US TO BE SLAVES?
This Dvar Torah was taken from a conversation I had with Rabbi Illan Feder of Yeshivat Chafetz Chaim.
          We Jews come from royalty. Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaacov, our forefathers, were not only well respected members of society, they were also materialistically wealthy. Avraham was tall and charismatic. Yitzchak was looked upon as quiet but very spiritual, as he had been the one chosen to be the sacrifice. Yaacov had the twelve tribes. Our forefathers were blessed with good Mazal, and whatever they touched turned to gold. This was the result of their wholehearted belief in G-d.
So it’s puzzling how their descendants would be tortured, humiliated, and victims of genocide as a result of being taken as SLAVES!!
How did that happen? Why slaves?  Why that particular punishment?  What happened to the royalty that our forefathers enjoyed?
          It seems like us children were so remotely distant from the lifestyle of our forefathers. We allude in the Hagadda to the descent of our ancestors to Egypt. Yaacov and his sons, the twelve tribes, packed their bags and headed towards Egypt because that’s where Yosef resided. Yosef, who was sold by his jealous brothers many years before, was now second in command of a superpower country. It was because of Yosef’s advice that Egypt became the “caretaker” of the world. He promised to take care of his brothers during the famine years.
          One of the prime directives of our Torah is to make us master and refine our natural character traits. An angry or jealous person, or whatever other bad traits one has, has no place in G-d’s world. One has to work on himself to eradicate bad traits and thereby better himself.
          The brother’s jealousy of Yosef was a trait that bothered G-d tremendously. For this reason, they were punished by being converted into slaves. Slaves have no say, no opinion. They don’t own anything so no one slave can be jealous of the other. They are all equal. This is the kind of mindset G-d wanted his chosen people to have. “We are equal!!”. There is not one Jew who’s better than the other, and one cannot be jealous of his fellow.
          The Seder is set up so that the first half, until the meal, discusses the slavery period. During this time, there was no jealousy among the Jews. The second part of the seder, after the meal, discusses the redemption. It’s a period of tremendous spirituality, closeness to G-d, and a unity among Jewish brethren that also contains no jealousy.
          G-d is teaching us the importance of unity, of caring for one another. It was a painful and costly lesson- one that absolutely had to be conveyed.

Man’s Word Should Be As Good As Gold

This article was constructed with the help of Dr. Robert Goldman-Psychologist at Yeshiva Chafetz Chaim and Rabbi Yitzchak Aminov   
Guy is driving in suburban Jerusalem when he sees a sign: “talking dog for sale”. “WOW!” he says “I gotta see this!”
The man rings the bell. The owner directs the man to the back yard where the dog is lounging, sipping on a pina colada.
The man asks, “so you can talk?” The dog answers “yep.” “So tell me your story” the man asks. The dog answers “well, I discovered I can talk when I was very young and I wanted to use my abilities to help others out. So I informed the Mosaad agency (Israeli intelligence) about my gift. I was working in no time. I was sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders and suspected terrorists. Because No one realized a dog can eavesdrop, I was one of their most valuable agents for eight years.
However it was exhausting work; it really tired me out. I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a less stressful job at Ben-Gurian Airport to do some under cover security work. I was wondering near suspicious characters and listening in. During this period of time I got married and had a mess of puppies, so now I’m just retired.”
Guy was amazed!!
He asked the owner how much he wants for the dog.
The answer was $10.
The man was astonished “why so cheap?”
The owner answers back, “the dog is a liar; he never worked for the Mossad.”

We should ask ourselves, are we careful when we speak to people?
How many of us really keep our word?
How many of us will grow big noses if the Pinocchio concept holds truth?
This week one of the subjects discussed in the parshiot are vows.
Perhaps it will be interesting to explore the reasons why man makes vows. And more importantly, how will he be able to keep his vows.
If one only knew the importance of keeping a vow he would be a little more careful.
We all learned about the famous dream that our forefather Yaakov had. There were a set of Angels going up and a set of Angels were going down a later. When he woke up he realized the importance of the place he was in and that G-d is sending him a message. Yaakov responded by telling G-d “I will do your will but please protect and sustain me. Then I will make a covenant on this very ground”.
Many years past and Yaakov weathered many storms. He survived his dangerous brother, Eisav, who hated him and survived the evil Lavan, his father in law. Yaakov entered the land of Israel and settled there for a while. He even passed “the place”; however no covenant was made.
Yaakov’s quite and tranquil time ended abruptly where he encountered the rape of his daughter, Dina, and the disappearance of his son, Yosef. Our sages tell us this was due partially because he didn’t keep his word and make the covenant. G-d had to give Yaakov a reminder; HELLO!! And order him to make the covenant.
How can our forefather, Yaakov forget?
Many people who make vows mean well and intend to keep them. However situations change and many find it difficult to keep.
Let us examine what transpires when a person makes a vow and what occurs after that one has a change of heart.
There was a man by the name of Palti ben Laish who was forced to marry the beautiful Michal, King Shaul’s daughter. One may say this is a dream come true, to marry the King of Israel’s daughter; he’s set for life. However, there was an underlying problem; the King tried to annul Michal’s first marriage to one named David ben Ishai whom Shaul despised.
The first marriage was valid, nevertheless the king decreed she is no longer married to David. Now, who has the nerve to argue with the king?
What is Palti to do?
SHE’S A MARRIED WOMAN!!
The punishment is Sevier.
When Palti and Michal came to their honeymoon suite, Palti did something profound. He stuck his sword right in the middle of the bed and proclaimed “I do not touch a married woman!! No one shall remove it!!”
Rav Chaim Shmulevitz asks, “that’s beautiful, hey, a dramatic pause please!! Nevertheless when time passes and the couple warms up to each other, do you really think a dead idle sword will stand in the way of PASSION?!
Rav Chaim answers, “he stuck the sword there purposely. It will always remind him of the definitive strong emotions he had when stating, without a doubt, she is forbidden!! SHE IS NOT HIS!! And that reminder will enable him to stop.
Dr. Goldman points out when one makes a vow, at that moment, he’s enthusiastic and emotionally exited about making the statement. However as time goes on, chances are the enthusiasm will decrease. It is not the same. Therefore the absent of the feeling causes him to be forgetful or think it’s difficult to keep.
Rav Aminov says a person can go to a Rav and annul his vow petach atara on the grounds that it is too difficult. However, one should know swearing and making vows, especially using G-d’s name should not be taken lightly; it’s a stringent Torah law.
There was an outcast warrior among the Jews by the name of Yiftach. The Jews had no choice but to choose him. He was their only chance to win the war.
When the Jews were victorious Yiftach said something foolishly. In his enthusiasm and love for G-d, he vowed “the first thing that comes out of my house I will sacrifice to HAKADOSH-BARUCH-HUE. Of course he had in mine an ox or a sheep. However, this Cinderrella story took a different and nasty turn. When he returned from the battlefield, his daughter came out. Unfortunately, Yiftach took his vows pretty seriously and fully intended to take his daughter to the slaughter.
Yiftach could have annulled the vow, but instead he rationalized it was beneath his dignity to go to the high priest, Pinchas to ask for the annulment. His ego failed his daughter; so much for priorities. Apparently she did not die however she was considered HEKDESH-changed status therefore not permitted to marry. She withered away like an old maid.
We see from the Torah that vows were taken very seriously. Yosef went through painstaking efforts to honor his father’s request to be buried in Israel. Before leaving Egypt, Moshe, the leader of the Israelites searched through all of Egypt to find Yosef’s bones to be transferred to the promised land.
Astonishingly the sea split when it saw Yossef’s bones. The reason was because of Yossef’s merits, though also, because of Moshe’s ability to keep a vow.
Vows were meant to make us better human beings. However sometimes it seems like one takes upon himself too much. We read in our evening prayer “take away the Satan (evil inclination) from before us and from behind us.” It makes sense that the satan is in front of us; He puts many enticing thing in front of our eyes. But what is meant by the satan enticing us from behind?
The Sages answer that he comes up behind us and pushes us forward and says “hey, you can do it; you’re ready”. The problem is, you’re really not ready yet. This is perhaps dangerous because if one stumbles and falls he might have a very hard time getting up. Sometimes one never can recover.
So a man makes a vow to improve his status as a Jew, as a human being. However, at times, due to the evil inclination he over-reacts because of his enthusiasm.
I find the joke about the talking dog a bit humorous. When I read it a second time it occurred to me, that even though it’s just a joke, the dog’s value plummeted because he lied. The same goes for mankind; a person’s value decreases if one doesn’t keep his word. It’s an important lesson everyone should take to heart and be sensitive to, including yours truly.

Crime of Humanity

 

   

 

 

We are now, unfortunately, in the midst of the three weeks. During this period, we mourn the loss of our Temples approximately two thousand years ago. Rabbi Jay Shapiro of WITS Institute in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, says in this time we mourn humanity. He quotes a Ramban on the topic of Yosef and his brothers. The brothers were jealous of Yosef; when they were finally alone with him in the field, the idea sprouted in their heads to kill him. This suggestion was shot down by the older brother Reuben as it was too extreme of an act. So instead, one of the brothers suggested to throw him into a pit leaving him for dead. Apparently, they realized it might not be a good idea, where then it was decided to sell him instead. “Why should we have the blood of our brother on our hands?”
After many years, G-d created a famine which led them down to Egypt. The brothers faced the viceroy of Egypt, not knowing it was their long lost brother, and requested food for their families. The brothers were bothered at the trouble they were encountering. They spoke among themselves concluding that the reason G-d was punishing them was because they ignored Yosef’s pleas and cries as they threw him into the pit. He was begging them to get him out; however they disregarded him and enjoyed a meal among themselves.
So the Ramban asks, this is the one action they’re worried about? This is what you regret? What about wanting to kill him? What about selling him as a slave and ruining his life? What about the devastation they caused to their father? Why was it this particular incident that they felt they were in the wrong?
The brothers were intelligent, so the fact they picked this incident perhaps bring to light a concern of this action. They viewed it as cruel. The other incidences, though it was wrong, could be construed as impulsive, a crime of passion. Perhaps they might have had less control of the situation. However, cruelty, which they believed they displayed while they were eating and drinking, while their brother was pleading for his life, was inexcusable.

 

The first Temple was destroyed because of idol worshiping, murder, and sexual misconduct. These are considered serious stuff. However, it seems like after a number of years, G-d permitted the Temple to be rebuilt. Although horrible and hideous, nevertheless, it was the influence of the surroundings that propelled them to stoop that low. The second Temple, though, was destroyed for baseless hatred. It has been a very long time since, and G-d has not forgiven us.

 

Cruelty is an advanced state of hatred. It’s found in our inner personality. We have to address and curb this flaw in us because it could lead to devastating results. Some of which may not be forgiven by G-d.

 

The Art of Rebuke

 

   

 

What is the best method to criticize and get good results in return, from loved ones, friends, employees, or subordinates? How about this; “HEY, IDIOT YOU BLEW IT, MY FIVE YEAR OLD COULD HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB!!! How do you think that will work? I know many who use that approach. Or, how about the old famous rebuke “I told you so”, That always makes a person feel good about himself. Now, which one is best suited for your style? Pick your poison.

 

 

Generally speaking, we don’t take criticism very well and truth be told only few methods are effective.

 

Rav Henoch Leibowitz z”tl, brings a beautiful example of an effective rebuke. Miriam and Aharon, who were the brother and sister of Moshe, the leader of the Jews, were discussing how Moshe was not spending enough time with his wife. “He’s too busy working late in the office”. This constitutes speaking Lashon Harah – speaking bad about someone. G-d then rebukes them.  However, listen to the kind of language He uses when he approached them “Listen, please, to my words.” WOW, PLEASE!! What’s this “please” business? Although G-d was angry for speaking lashon harah on Moshe, however, He used nice pleasant words in rebuke. If G-d would have been tough, He would not have been heard. One can argue if it was a more harsher tone, they would have felt the severity of the sin. However, by nature, man doesn’t like to be rebuked and if it’s in an angry tone, he would shut it out even more. A person would automatically develop a defense mechanism and not comprehend the full value of the rebuke. This is especially true if the poor guy is being screamed at. He will not comprehend anything from the criticism. This goes against the goal of what was intended of the rebuke; the idea is to get the message across.

 

It’s also recommended to give an example.We find Natan, the prophet, giving an example to King David after David hastily and conveniently sent Batsheva’s husband, Uri Hachiti, to the front battle. Natan figured out David’s true intentions. A little while later, he was killed in battle. Natan asked David, “If a rich man stole a cow from a poor man, what would you do your majesty?” “The rich man should be punished.”, David replied. “That’s you, your highness, you’re the rich man”. Natan said it in such a way that David was able to accept fault. He didn’t realize until Natan’s example to what extent his crime was.

 

We have to know how sensitive a person is before we criticize. An example is Reuben and his father Yaacov. Yaacov had four wives; imagine getting rebuked not by one, but four wives. KOL HAKAVOD. After Rachel died, Yaacov transferred his primary bed to Bilah’s tent instead of his mother, Leah’s. Reuben felt his mother’s honor would be hurt so he moved the bed to his mother’s tent. It was a lack of respect on his part to play marriage counselor. Although Yaacov did not approve, he didn’t say a word until he was on his death bed. Yaacov rationalized Reuben was so sensitive that he would totally lose it and may even join his (Yaacov) wicked brother, Eisav.

 

Sometimes rebuke is just stating the facts. We find when Yosef revealed to his brothers, his true identity “I am you brother, Yosef”. That line, itself, was the most devastating rebuke one can give. The brothers realized at that moment their whole philosophy, their way of thinking, all these years was wrong. Yosef’s dream, for the most part, came true; they were shocked, confused, and devastated.

 

The Sages say the last rebuke is what we all are going to go through after 120. When we enter the Olam ha’emet, the heavens, where there is no false. The truth will be disclosed and we’ll be standing there staring at the truth and nothing but the truth, and feeling humiliated. This is considered the ultimate rebuke.

 

Fish, an Important Component in Jewish Survival

99% of the cause of death in the world can be prevented. What’s the secret? Miracle? Dream? Prank? Fish Talks, Town Buzzes
The New York Times
By COREY KILGANNON
Published: March 15, 2003
And so it came to pass that a talking carp, shouting in Hebrew, shattered the calm of the New Square Fish Market and created what many here are calling a miracle.
Of course, others are calling it a Purim trick, a loopy tale worthy of Isaac Bashevis Singer or just a whopping fish story concocted by a couple of meshugenehs.
Whatever one calls it, the tale of the talking fish has spread in recent weeks throughout this tight-knit Rockland County community, populated by about 7,000 members of the Skver sect of Hasidim, and throughout the Hasidic world, inspiring heated debate, Talmudic discussions and derisive jokes.
The story goes that a 20-pound carp about to be slaughtered and made into gefilte fish for Sabbath dinner began speaking in Hebrew, shouting apocalyptic warnings and claiming to be the troubled soul of a revered community elder who recently died.
Many people here believe that it was God revealing himself that day to two fish cutters in the fish market, Zalmen Rosen, a 57-year-old Hasid with 11 children, and his co-worker Luis Nivelo, a 30-year-old Ecuadorean immigrant.
Some people say the story is as credible as the Bible’s account of the burning bush. Others compare it to a U.F.O. sighting. But the story rapidly spread around the world from this town about 30 miles northwest of Manhattan, first through word of mouth, then through the Jewish press.
The two men say they have each gotten hundreds of phone calls from Jews all over the world.
”Ah, enough already about the fish,” Mr. Rosen said today at the shop, as he skinned a large carp. ”I wish I never said anything about it. I’m getting so many calls every day, I’ve stopped answering. Israel, London, Miami, Brooklyn. They all want to hear about the talking fish.”
Here then is the story, according to the two men, the only witnesses. Mr. Rosen, whose family owns the store, and Mr. Nivelo, who has worked at the shop for seven years, say that on Jan. 28 at 4 p.m. they were carving up carp.
Mr. Nivelo, who is not Jewish, lifted a live carp out of a box of iced-down fish and was about to club it in the head.
But the fish began speaking in Hebrew, according to the two men. Mr. Nivelo does not understand Hebrew, but the shock of a fish speaking any language, he said, forced him against the wall and down to the slimy wooden packing crates that cover the floor.
He looked around to see if the voice had come from the slop sink, the other room or the shop’s cat. Then he ran into the front of the store screaming, ”The fish is talking!” and pulled Mr. Rosen away from the phone.
”I screamed, ‘It’s the devil! The devil is here!’ ” he recalled. ”But Zalmen said to me, ‘You crazy, you a meshugeneh.’ ”
But Mr. Rosen said that when he approached the fish he heard it uttering warnings and commands in Hebrew.
”It said ‘Tzaruch shemirah’ and ‘Hasof bah,’ ” he said, ”which essentially means that everyone needs to account for themselves because the end is near.”
The fish commanded Mr. Rosen to pray and to study the Torah and identified itself as the soul of a local Hasidic man who died last year, childless. The man often bought carp at the shop for the Sabbath meals of poorer village residents.
Mr. Rosen panicked and tried to kill the fish with a machete-size knife. But the fish bucked so wildly that Mr. Rosen wound up cutting his own thumb and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. The fish flopped off the counter and back into the carp box and was butchered by Mr. Nivelo and sold.
The story has been told and retold, and many Jews believe that the talking fish was a rare shimmer of God’s spirit. Some call it a warning about the dangers of the impending war in Iraq.
”Two men do not dream the same dream,” said Abraham Spitz, a New Square resident who stopped by the store this week. ”It is very rare that God reminds people he exists in this modern world. But when he does, you cannot ignore it.”
Others consider it as fictional as Tony Soprano’s talking-fish dream in an episode of the ”The Sopranos.”
”Listen to what I’m telling you: Only children take this seriously,” said Rabbi C. Meyer of the New Square Beth Din of Kashrus, which administers kosher-food rules. ”This is like a U.F.O. story. I don’t care if it is the talk of the town.”
Whether hoax or historic event, it jibes with the belief of some Hasidic sects that righteous people can be reincarnated as fish.
Unnatural occurrences play a part in the mystical beliefs of members of the Skver sect. On the other hand, some skeptics note that the Jewish festival of Purim, which starts Monday night, is marked by merriment and pranks, which might be a less elevated explanation for the story.
Some community members are calling the two men an enlightened pair chosen to receive the message. Others have said that Mr. Nivelo may have been selected because he is not Jewish.
”If this was a story concocted by a bunch of Jewish guys, it might be suspect, but this Luis, or whatever his name is, he has no idea what this means,” said Matisyahu Wolfberg, a local lawyer.
”If people say God talks to them, we recommend a psychiatrist, but this is different,” said Mr. Wolfberg, sitting in his office with his black hat resting atop his computer terminal.
”This is one of those historical times when God reveals himself for a reason. It has sent spiritual shock waves throughout the Jewish community worldwide and will be talked about throughout the ages.”
Zev Brenner, who last week broadcast a show about the fish on ”Talk Line,” his talk radio show on Jewish issues, on WMCA-AM (570) and WSNR-AM (620), said that the story has fascinated the religious community worldwide.
”I’ve gotten calls from all over asking ‘Did you hear about the fish?’ ” he said. ”You can imagine, a talking fish has got people buzzing. This is going to be talked about for a long time to come, unless it’s somehow verified as a hoax, which is hard to imagine, since the proof has been eaten up.”
Mr. Brenner said that the story is so well known that it has inspired a whole new genre of wedding jokes for Jewish comedians.
”The station had an advertiser, a gefilte fish manufacturer, who considered changing his slogan to ‘Our fish speaks for itself,’ but decided people would be offended,” he said.
As for Mr. Nivelo, a practicing Christian, he still believes the babbling carp was the devil. His wife told him he was crazy, and his 6-year-old daughter even laughs at him.
”I don’t believe any of this Jewish stuff,” he said. ”But I heard that fish talk.”
He said that Spanish-speaking rabbis have been calling his home every day and night asking him to recount the story.
”It’s just a big headache for me,” he added. ”I pull my phone out of the wall at night. I don’t sleep and I’ve lost weight.”
Mr. Rosen said that he spoke to his wife, who was visiting Israel, and that she had already heard the story from someone else.
”My phone doesn’t stop ringing,” Mr. Rosen said. ”Always interruptions, people coming in and taking their picture with me.”
He paused and turned to Mr. Nivelo, who was cutting salmon for a customer.
”No, too big,” he said. ”She wants appetizer.”

We were brought up in a country where the approach is to be cynical. A person who wasn’t brought up in this country gets excited when receiving junk mail claiming they had won a boat, a yacht. They are instant winners and they merely have to send shipping cost; we, however, know better. We know what to do with these offers and immediately file it in recycle. One cannot believe anybody; there is always a catch. Hey I didn’t believe one iota, at age five about the talking horse, Mr.  Ed. So do you think I’m going to believe about a talking fish at age….well, you get the picture. “But The New York Times” you might say, “the mecca of newspapers (…some may argue anti-Semitic) published it”.
 Regardless weather the fish was talking, singing or doing the hora, the fish has a very important part in Jewish life weather in practicality or symbolically.
  An important note, one should never take our symbolic customs lightly. Every act that is performed here on earth is duplicated in the heavens whereas then the Angels say the magic word AMEN….and it happens. That’s the way heavenly mechanics work.
 Let us begin by asking a basic question. Many communities if not all have a custom to eat fish as a first course at their Shabbat Friday night table. Some with the thorns some without, some fried and some baked or grilled, and some are dipped in garlic water. Mhmmm…
 Why do we eat fish Friday night?
Does it have secret Kabbalistic magic powers of enhancing the appetite so we can look forward to the next course?
Secondly, fish is very different in its requirement to be certified kosher.
 In order to eat “regular” Kosher animals, there is a requirement for the animal to undergo Shechita (ritual slaughter). If an animal were to be killed/ die without Shechita it is forbidden to be eaten.
Yet, by kosher fish we find no such requirement. To eat fish, one can simply kill it and it is Kosher to eat.
Why is there this distinction? What makes fish different than other types of animals (other than the fact that the Torah said they are)?
Why are we allowed to eat fish altogether?
G-d gave us a reward as gratitude for Noach who took care of the animals; man had them for supper. However, the fish weren’t part of the package. Noach did not take care of them. Why then was he allowed to eat them and when did it become permitted?
Devarim (14:9) This you may eat everything that is in the water; anything that has fins and scales you may eat:
Why no preparation needed?
Marsha, one of the major commentaries in the Talmud, in chulin 27b relates this to the idea that earth is more “earthy,” materialistic and unspiritual, than water (compare Rambam, Hil. Yesodei Hatorah 3:10). So animals, which were created from such coarse matter, need shechitah (the ritual slaughter to make it kosher) – the main purpose of which is to drain their lifeblood – to refine their physicality and make it suitable for human consumption, since we are also made from dust. Birds – same thing, but less so, so they need the refinement brought about through shechitah, albeit of only one siman. Fish, whose bodies were created from a more refined material than ours, need no refinement in order to make them edible.
The generation before the flood caused great damage by their immorality and their negative interpersonal relationship, to such an extent that the animals and nature were influenced. Therefore, a large civilization, with the exception of the passengers of Noach’s ark, was destroyed.
 Fish were protected from the spiritual energies of immorality generated by the generation of the flood because they were concealed by the waters. They were led to a certain section of the ocean called Okinus where the waters were bearable and not boiling hot. Therefore, the fish didn’t need the spiritual cleansing of the ark that the surviving animals and birds required, as the verse says, “And all flesh that moves upon the earth expired [in the flood]–among the birds, the animals, the beasts, and all the creeping things that creep upon the earth, and all mankind. All in whose nostrils was the breath of the spirit of life, of everything that was on dry land died [The verse mentions only the death of land creatures, implying that Hashem spared the fish, because they did not participate in man’s sins (Talmud: Zevachim 113b)].” (Genesis 7:21, 22) And thus, there is no need to perform shechita on fish.
 As a gift for taking care of the animals on the ark, Noach and the generations that followed were able to eat certain animals that were described to be kosher.
 However the fish were not on the ark and were not taken care of by Noach and his family.
Why then was man allowed to eat fish?
   Interestingly, many commentaries say that Jews were not allowed to eat fish until MATAN TORAH – the receiving of the Torah. G-d rewarded the Jews to eat fish, a gifted species, not blemished by sin, on that glorious day of MATAN TORAH. The receiving of the Torah happened to occur on Shabbat. So besides celebrating the Shabbat we are also showing appreciation to G-d by eating his gift to us, a symbol of receiving the Torah.
 Out of all the gifts to give why did G-d give Fish?
One of the toughest tests to overcome in humans is to be grateful and appreciate what’s on our plate and not desire what our friend has. Our sages introduced us to a concept called the evil eye.
  The Evil Eye is the name given to harmful negative energy which is created by people looking at you with envy or ill-feeling. One of the first encounters of this phenomenon was with the evil Bilam. He wanted to harm the Israelites with this negative energy.  How do we know that he had an evil eye? Because it is written, And Bil’am lifted up his eyes, and he saw Israel dwelling tribe by tribe (Numbers 24:2). The Midrash Rabbah in Bamidbar 20:10 comments that his eyes were his weapon.
 Although G-d purposely brought the Israelites to a secluded place-the dessert, it did not stop Bilam, who went out of his way, to harm the Jews with his evil eye. It seems like everybody can be susceptible to this harm. There is just no place to hide.
  The Torah’s warning through the Bilam incident has made our people more careful. Traditionally we tend to be quite about our good fortunes.  One might also notice when they are counting a Minyan they won’t count one-two-three but do something more convoluted.
One component of this practice also seems to be concern over ayin hara – the Evil Eye. For the same reason, you will traditionally not see Jewish women having baby showers, decorating the nursery, or even buying anything for the baby before the birth.
How do we protect ourselves?
Since fish live under the water and are thus concealed from view, they are protected from the gaze of the seventy nations of the world. As mentioned above, kosher animals require shechita in order to remove the negative spiritual energies of immorality they have absorbed.  The most powerful protection against evil forces is the force of goodness, whether doing kindness to people, giving charity, or studying G-d’s Torah with the intention of spreading what we learned to others. This brings about unity, which is the opposite from the dor hamabul, the generation of the flood. Therefore, the righteous, who by definition are individuals who are very far removed from immoral behavior, are compared to fish, which are also very far removed from the spiritual energies of immorality.
   This is why Yosef (Joseph) was blessed that his offspring should be like fish, as the verse says, “May they [Yosef’s offspring] proliferate abundantly like fish within the land” (Genesis 48:16). Yosef is the only Biblical figure to be referred to as “HaTzaddik” (the saintly), because he resisted temptation and refused to have any immoral association with his master’s wife. Just as the negative spiritual energies emitted from the eye have no negative effect upon fish in the water, similarly the offspring of Yosef are protected from the evil eye and the spiritual energies of immorality associated with the eye. Yosef saw what’s on his plate only!
Symbolically fish have the power of spiritual purity. It has not been contaminated by immorality, by disarray, by theft, all characteristics of the generation of the flood. It does what G-d wants and that is “keeping a low profile;” modesty. It has followed and trusted G-d whole hardheartedly.
Once, one of the greats of Jerusalem was walking the streets where he hears the screams of a young boy. He quickly attends to him and realizes he has to rush him to the hospital. He then carries him running briskly to the Ezra Rishona-First Response nearby. As he’s rushing in the streets an old lady yells out “don’t worry Rav Shalom, he’ll be okay”.  At a closer glance, though, she realizes the injured boy is her grandson. “Oh No!” she wails and lets out such a scream crying hysterically.
Seems like the old lady lost her composure realizing it’s her grandson. What happened to the “don’t worry?” She was calm and cool full of trust in G-d a couple of minutes ago. She changed. One cannot be frum- religious on someone else’s expense but panic when it hits them personally..
The Hebrew word for fish is dag. There is a connection to da’aga-worry.
 DAG-fish comes to rectify; it comes to fix the negative trait of da’aga-worry.  Dag comes to symbolizes complete trust in G-d, the opposite of da’aga-worry.
That is the symbolic essence of fish. Fish is the purity that was not corrupted by negativity because it swam under the radar gun, out of the sight of the eye.
 So whether it’s whiting, flounder, or the talking carp one has on their menu for the Friday night Shabbat meal, one should enjoy the delicious fish with either horseradish, garlic water or mayo,  and if one hears strange voices at the Shabbat table its either the fish, or the chicken, or perhaps a disgruntled neighbor.

Parshat Vayigash

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Vayigash

December 29, 2011
3 Teves, 5772

Dear Friends,

 

We have expanded the Parsha Highlights section.

 

In appreciation to the staff of The Afikim Foundation for all their help, and to Torahanytime.com for giving us the mic.

 

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In This Issue
Parshat Vayigash Highlights
Parshat Vayigash – The Many Surprises In Life
Why Do We Cover Our Eyes During the Prayer of Shema?
Bits & Pieces

Parshat Vayigash Highlights
 

First Portion

* The sages marveled at how Yehuda (the leader of the brothers) conducted himself; he was respectful but firm in his confrontation with Yosef, the second in command of all of Egypt (whom they thought was Egyptian but was really their brother).The Medrash Rabah (commentaries) takes it a step further than the written Bible, who has Yehuda giving an eloquent monologue to the defense of not leaving Benyamin behind in Egypt, on how these two leaders confronted each other on the grand stage of the Egyptian palace. It wasn’t two gladiators fighting, but it was two intelligent leaders testing their opponent in a game of who has heart and who can survive.

 

Second Portion

* In one of the most dramatic passages in all the Torah, at least in my opinion, Yosef wasn’t able to control himself and discloses to his brothers that he was indeed Yosef. He forgave his brothers after seeing how much Yehuda protected their younger brother Benyamin who was not from the same mother.

* The brothers were in shock and embarrassed at selling of Yosef. He comforted them by telling them it was meant to be by G-d. He sent me here first to pave the way for our family to move here because of the famine.

 

Third Portion

* The brothers left Egypt to go and fetch their family and to inform Yaacov, their father, that Yosef is alive. When Pharaoh heard about Yosef’s brothers, he seemed supportive of hosting them in his country.

 

Fourth Portion

* Pharaoh made it easy for the transport of Yosef’s family by giving them chariots.

* Sarach, the daughter of Asher, delicately informed her grandfather, Yaacov, that Yosef is alive through her soft song and harp playing. From here we learn to never inform a person abruptly – good news or bad. Always be delicate in your approach.

 

Fifth Portion

* G-d comes to Yaacov in a dream assuring him not to fear to go down to Egypt. Yaacov expressed concern they might be tempted by the Egyptians and intermarriage will occur. G-d tells him, “I’ll make you into a great nation and not to worry.”

* The genealogy of Yaacov is counted. 70 family members made the pilgrimage down to Egypt.

 

Sixth Portion

* Yaacov sent Yehuda (the leader) first to make the necessary arrangements for the family. The commentaries convey that Yehuda went down to establish a study hall. We learn from here that wherever a Jew moves to, he should establish a place to learn Torah because it’s the life force of our people.

* Yosef arranged through Pharaoh that his family settle in the land of Goshen, a little bit of a distant from Egyptian populace, and their occupation would be to tend the sheep. This was intentionally arranged because Pharaoh detested shepherds because the Egyptians were paganistic animal worshipers. So Yosef knew they would distance themselves from the Jews and leave them all alone in the far distant place of Goshen.

* Yaacov meets his son Yosef after 22 years of separation. Yosef was very emotional. Yaacov, in the moment of joy, recited ‘SHEMA, YISRAEL, HASHEM IS OUR G-D HASHEM IS ONE.’

* Yaacov meets Pharaoh and gives him a blessing. Pharaoh asks Yaacov, “How old are you?” He answered, “130 years old and they were few and bad”. Yaacov was punished for this response, by having his life cut short. One is not allowed to complain about life, no matter how bitter it may be. One has to find good in any tough situation and appreciate what he has.

 

Seventh Portion

* The famine was great and people came to Yosef for food. He collected a lot of money through selling food, and when the people exhausted their funds, they exchanged their livestock, their land and then themselves (became slaves to Pharaoh) for food. So basically, Pharaoh (the government) owned the land and all of its inhabitants in Egypt.

* The Jews acquired land in Goshen. They were fruitful and multiplied.

Parshat Vayigash – The Many Surprises In Life

In one of the most dramatic moments in the Bible (in my opinion), Yosef reveals to his brothers that he is their long lost brother. The brothers’ response is one of shock and disbelief. However, it’s mind-boggling; how did the brothers not recognize Yosef? Come on now, these were very intelligent individuals. Did it not dawn on them that perhaps Yosef could be their brother? Especially, when they sought him out in Egypt in the slums and low-end neighborhoods, since they thought he was still a slave; the brothers had a hunch he was there.

Another reason why not recognizing him was far-fetched, is that Egypt was predominantly a black society and Yosef was white. Furthermore, the midrash (commentaries) say that Yosef looked just like his father. So it’s hard to believe how the brothers overlooked these clues.

Apparently, it seems like the brothers were so convinced they were right, that the thought of him in the position of Viceroy of Egypt was incomprehensible. They believed confidently from the get-go, he was wrong and they were correct; their philosophy was the one and only all along. Even if the evidence had stared them right in the face, they wouldn’t have figured it out. The realization that Yosef’s dreams came true and the philosophy that they’ve been following was incorrect, was a shock.

Similarly, we find when Eisav comes to Isaac for the important blessing that was just given to his brother Yaacov, thinking it was Eisav. Isaac smelled the scent of Gan Eden when giving the bracha to Yaacov, even though he didn’t realize it was he; therefore the right brother got the bracha. Apparently when Eisav came and said “Hey Dad, I’m here”, at that moment, Isaac felt a ‘tremble’ coming to the realization just like the brothers did with Yosef that all what he (Isaac) and they (the brothers) believed in for most of their lives was false. It’s as if one has wasted his life, wasted his precious energy betting on the wrong horse.

We have to learn a lesson from the passages that we have to examine our lives and re-evaluate situations, people, and lifestyles. It’ll be wise to find out at an early stage than later when it’s too late.

Why do we cover our eyes during the prayer of Shema?
   

Why do we have to cover our eyes when we say the Shema?
Brief background: Shema is the famous prayer we say four times a day; twice in the morning, once in the evening, and once at bedtime. We cover our eyes and recite the passage. Why?
We find in this week’s parsha when Yaacov met his beloved son, Yosef, after 22 years, when he thought he was dead, Yosef emotionally embraced him while Yaacov was so grateful to G-d that he recited the Shema. The concept behind Shema is that the whole body has to be emerged in the dedication to G-d. Symbolically, we are expressing it by covering our right hand on our eyes. The hand has five fingers representing our whole body. Instinctively, each finger covers its own territory.
* Thumb – instinctively cleans the mouth area
* Index finger – instinctively cleans the nose
* Middle finger – instinctively scratches the back area
* Ring finger – cleans the eyes
* Pinky, little finger – instinctively cleans the ears
When we say the Shema, it’s usually deep into the prayers where the concentration is intense. So when we do cover our eyes, this thought pattern should be applied.

Bits & Pieces
   

* A number of weeks ago, we mentioned in one of the articles that if you have a lit candelabra on the table right before Shabbat, after Shabbat has entered, it cannot be moved until after Shabbat is over. This is because we apply the law of muktzah. A reader and friend, Rafi Sharbat from Jerusalem, wrote that there are exceptions. When one puts a challah or anything on the table that will be used on Shabbat, before the Shabbat starts, then it is permissible to move. Rabbi Eliyahu Ben Haim mentions that some people in dire straits take it a step further and are lenient, if the thought is that this table will be used on Shabbat, then it will be permissible to move (Reb Ben Haim holds we don’t go according to this opinion unless it’s really dire strait.)

 

* Which 4 brachot are recited exactly once every year?
a) Seeing the first blossom in the spring
b) Bedikat chametz (Pesach)
c) Nachem (said on Tisha B’Av)
d) Light candles (Erev Yom Kippur)
* Recently, I received a funny email on how to improve your memory without investing anything on therapy or eating undesirable herbs. The email said: Start with this exercise, bring your Thursday night shopping-for-Shabbat list along to Wasserman’s and challenge yourself to remember 15 words on the list.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Mikeitz

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“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
  Mikeitz

December 22, 2011
26 Kislev, 5772

Dear Friends,

HAPPY CHANUKAH!!!!!

 

We have expanded the Parsha Highlights section.

 

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In This Issue
Parshat Mikeitz Highlights
Parshat Mikeitz – Things That Come From the Heart, Penetrate the Heart
The Pleasures of Chanukah
Chanukah Tidbits

Parshat Mikeitz Highlights
 

First portion
* The Torah seems to emphasize Miketz – at the end (of time in which Yosef was in jail) Yosef was punished by G-d for relying on the butler, who was his cellmate, a little too much that he would, through his connections, hasten his release. It is true, one must do his effort to do whatever he can in any situation, but Yosef should have put more trust in G-d and less on the butler. At the end of last Parsha it says how the butler forgot about him.
* After two years, the butler remembered Yosef and his tremendous ability, especially after Pharaoh was deeply distraught that he could not remember the two important dreams he had.
* Yosef was quickly rushed out of prison shaved and showered, and presented in front of Pharaoh.

Second portion
* Yosef tells Pharaoh it is not I – but G-d – who has given me the ability to interpret dreams; he then proceeds to tell Pharaoh that the two dreams are really one. Seven years of famine will follow seven years of prosperity. Pharaoh recalls his dreams and it is exactly as Yosef described.
Third portion
* Pharaoh was impressed with Yosef to a point where he made him second in command. He was to oversee the storage and preservation of the grains so that it will be sufficient during the time of famine.
* Pharaoh was impressed with Yosef’s belief in G-d.
* Pharaoh gave Osnat, the daughter of Potifar (the one who accused Yosef of assaulting his wife), to Yosef. Osnat, according to many sources was adopted. Her biological mother was Dina, the sister of Yosef, who bore a child to the man (Shechem) who raped her.
* Yosef was successful in his task as viceroy of Egypt.
* He and Osnat had two children, Menashe and Efraim.
* Yosef typifies a Jew in a strange land. He was uncomfortable and felt different but he managed to achieve great heights by always putting his faith in G-d.
Fourth portion
* The famine begins and people flock to Yosef and Egypt where they are well-prepared for the crises.
* Yaacov instructs his sons to go down to Egypt to buy food because the famine was unbearable.
* The brothers entered Egypt in ten separate gates. One of the reasons was to find Yosef. A second reason is that all ten brothers together seemed very impressive so there was a concern for the evil eye; a concern in many Jewish families, where it’s important to keep a low profile. A common belief is that jealousy can bring a bad omen to the home of the object of desire.
* Joseph recognized his brothers but they did not recognize him.
* He acted cold and harsh; Yosef did not reveal to them that he was their brother.
* Yosef accused them of spying and put them in jail for three days.
Fifth portion
* After three days, he said if your story is valid then you shall go and bring your youngest brother whom you claim exists. But I will keep one brother here in prison to make sure you return. Shimon was the brother that was chosen to stay in prison (pit) until they returned. Shimon was picked because he was the one who shoved him into the pit and also to separate him from Levi. The two together are a tremendous force.
* The brothers feel their bad omen in which they’re experiencing in Egypt is the result of what they did to Yosef.
* Yaacov was informed all what had happened in Egypt. Initially, he refused to send Benyamin, the youngest brother and the remaining son from his favorite wife Rachel, but Yehuda guarantees his safe return. ‘If he doesn’t return, I will forfeit my life after death (world to come)’ he said.
Sixth portion
* Yosef had seen from afar that they had brought Benyamin. He then released Shimon and invited all the brothers to join him for lunch.
* For the first time in many years, Yosef sees his little brother Benyamin who is from the same father and mother as he.
* Another startling incident that Yosef has demonstrated to his brothers since they arrived, was that he sat them in order of their birth at the luncheon dais and they said, ‘Now how did he know that? ‘Yosef conveyed to them that he has magical powers.
* It is indeed strange that they were not able to figure it out that it was Yosef standing in front of them.
Seventh portion
* Yosef feels that he has become emotional so he excuses himself from the room of the luncheon. Apparently he realizes an attitude change and a more bonded relationship toward each other including towards his brother.
* Before they leave, Yosef instructs secretly to put his precious goblet in Benyamin’s sack.
* Soon after leaving, they are stopped by Yosef’s men who search them for the missing goblet. They find it in Benyamin’s sack and are ordered back to Egypt.

Parshat Mikeitz – Things That Come From the Heart, Penetrate the Heart

            Yosef put Shimon (one of his brothers) in prison (the pit) in front of their eyes and told them to go back home and get your youngest brother (Benyamin). The reason Yosef singled out Shimon is because he was the one who initially pushed him into the pit. A second reason was that he wanted to separate Shimon and Levi because together, they were very difficult to contain. The sages bring down that Shimon had suspected the brothers in their heart of wanting to imprison him for how he aggressively put Yosef in the pit. He thought the unanimous opinion among the brothers was that the Viceroy of Pharaoh (who was really their brother Yosef) was justified in putting him in jail. The brothers countered back, “We would not do such a thing. He is forcing our hand to go without you; what do you want us to do, let are families starve?” Clearly, it was Yosef’s idea to put Shimon in the pit.

After hearing the brothers’ response, he realized they were sincere in their response and they did not think that way because things that come from the heart go to the heart. Shimon believed his brothers.

We learn something interesting about human nature; a person is able, with his sensitivities, to differentiate between words that are sincere or not.

When Yosef finally disclosed to the brothers that he is their brother, he was struck with tremendous emotions. The reason why, is because he realized that Yehuda was sincere in sticking up for their youngest brother, Benyamin, a brother from a different mother (Rachel). Although one might say Yehuda had a lot to lose because he promised his father he would be responsible for him and if anything horrible would happen, he stands to lose his after-life. Or perhaps, they would cause their father even more anguish if Benyamin was not returned. However, Yosef sensed the sincerity in Yehuda’s voice.

A person has the power to hear, determine and recognize what the heart is saying, even though the words are saying something else.

We also find the prophet, Zacharia ben Yehoyada, who stood up and rebuked the congregation by telling them “Why are you sinning against G-d? You will not succeed”. He was stoned shortly thereafter by the crowd. The sages said that Zacharia provoked his own death. He thought he was ‘holier then thou’ by being a prophet, kohen, and the son-in-law of the king. He felt he was above them and they sensed it, although he didn’t say anything to anger them. But they read his heart and felt him looking down at them.

Divrei Torah from Rav Henoch Leibowitz, ztz”l

The Pleasures of Chanukah
   

There’s an interesting story told by Rabbi Isaac Olbaum at one of his lectures about Rav Levi Bardichiva that teaches an important lesson about the pleasures of Chanukah in which we’re in the midst of celebrating:

Rav Levi Bardichiva once walked into a room where his friends convened. He found it quite odd that they stopped their conversation so abruptly as if they were hiding something from him. After he pressed the issue, they confessed that they were embarrassed at the topic of conversation and felt he would think they were wasting valuable time that could be spent learning Torah. The friend mentioned how they marveled and were so impressed with the exquisite mansion of Count Potosky.

Count Potosky was a very rich man who had a son who was executed by the non-Jews because he converted to Judaism. The gentiles gave Potosky’s son an ultimatum: either convert back or be executed. He said ‘I’m staying a Jew’. Soon after, young Potovsky was hung and then burned, and many years later, a tree grew from his ashes. Till this day, people would point to that tree and tell you the story of Potosky.

Apparently, the friends of Rav Levi were admiring how rich he was and how he would indulge in all kind of pleasures. Rav Levi responded, ‘Did Potosky light the candles of Chanukah?’ Obviously he didn’t; but if he did, Rav Levi seems to imply, that would be the most pleasurable moment he would have experienced.

What is so special about lighting Chanukah candles?

The Rambam (Maimonides) who, besides being an authority on medicine, was a tremendous halachic figure (expert on Jewish law), is quoted as saying, ‘The sages enacted these eight days as eight days of happiness and praise (Hallel). What constitutes happiness? Happiness is interpreted as having meat and wine. Apparently, this is what gives pleasure to the body and soul. Every time there is a reference to ‘happy’, a meal is required. After a delicious meal then he’s able to sing praise (Hallel).

However, we know a meal is not required on Chanukah. Do you mean to tell me that lighting the candles is a substitute pleasure for the meal? How so?

Chanukah is often compared to the holiday of Purim; but why is a meal required for that holiday and not this one?

In the story of Chanukah, the Greeks didn’t want to kill us; they wanted to embrace us. Their goal was to destroy us spiritually (no Shabbat, no brit milah, etc). Purim, the wicked Haman wanted to destroy us physically. Therefore, we counter back by using our physicality and getting a pleasurable experience with a lavish meal. We use the physicality as a gratitude to G-d. On Chanukah, though, we use the spirituality as gratitude.

‘Everything is from the heavens except fearing G-d’. Although one has to make an effort, for the most part, we have a hard time controlling our lives whether it is making money, marriage, kids, and death. Many aspects of life are determined by the heavens with the exception of spirituality, which is determined by you. It’s our choice whether to keep Shabbat, keep kosher, and be nice to people. It’s in our hands, we’re in control.

So what are the pleasures of Chanukah? We’ll get a better picture from a little glimpse of history. Achav was the wicked king of Israel (kingdom was split Israel and Judea). The Gemarah says he has no share in the world to come. At the time, Aram, the neighboring country who was superior in might, was at a state of war with the Israelites. Aram sent a team to Achav with their demands of surrender. These demands included the Israelites to give up their possessions, wives, and children. Achav was listening and agreeing to the surrender demands. Then they said ‘give up your object of desire, your Sefer Torah.’ ‘Absolutely not!!’ he said, ‘we’ll go to war with you first!!’ he answered back. The Israelites went to war with Aram and won.

Achav, whose reputation as a rasha is unprecedented, violated everything in the book. Why all of a sudden did he say no? What does he care about a Sefer Torah? We see how a Jew can be so complex in his behavior. Every Jew has a certain Jewish pride, a deep down caring about his religion, about his people. When push comes to shove, a secular Jew will bang on the table and declare ‘I’ll show you what it means to be Jewish’. Perhaps this is the reason we are required to light the menorah by the window so that the whole world can see what miracles G-d did for his chosen people. We show the world, but for the most part, it is for us to feel good about ourselves. We light the menorah with pride like the Maccabees lit after they miraculously defeated the mighty Greek army. The pride in doing so should bring out a tremendous pleasure.

Chanukah Tidbits
   

* In the first bracha (blessing) of the candlelighting ceremony, there are thirteen tevot (punctuations) which coincide with the thirteen attributes of mercy. (They are very important; G-d practically guarantees that if one says the 13 attributes at proper times of the year he will be forgiven. During the high holidays, it is emphasized greatly.)  The second bracha also has thirteen tevot as well, and represents the same. Both brachot together equal 26 which is the name of G-d that represents mercy.
* The longest bircat hamazon of the year is said on Shabbat Chanukah. It has both al hanisim (the prayer said for Chanukah, and R’tzei, the prayer said on Shabbat) and if by chance Rosh Chodesh falls out on Shabbat, that’s’ a marathon.
* What happens if one is on a business trip? Does he light where he is? The answer is no; his wife lights at home for the husband. However, one is required to see the Chanukah candles lit. So if he’s in a Jewish town and he’s able to see other menorahs lit, then he has fulfilled the requirement. If he’s in a city where there are no Jews, then he must light himself. The mitzvah is also to see the candles burning on the menorah.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience

Parshat Bechukotai

 

“A Cup of Coffee 

 

&

A Quick Thought”

 

 

Steaming Cup of Coffee
Spark Of Jewish Experience
 
 Bechokotai

May 19, 2011

15 Iyar, 5771

Dear Friend,

THIS SATURDAY NIGHT AND SUNDAY

 IS LAG BA’OMER!!!

In This Issue
Bechokotai
Lag Ba’omer

Bechokotai
list of responsibitilies

 

There is a section in this week’s Torah reading, Parshat Bechokotai, where they are many curses. Yes, you heard me correctly, big time nasty curses. G-d warns us ‘if you do not go in my ways then I will punish you’. My father z”l instructed my bar mitzvah teacher that I not read that portion, citing it is not appropriate that a wet behind the ears bar mitzvah boy, who is introduced to G-d’s commandments for the first time, read such negativities; after all, a bar mitzvah is a happy occasion. It’s a custom that the Rabbi or chazan get an aliya (called up to the Torah) for both the curses as well as the brachot (the Ten Commandments, Az Yashir etc.), and avoid any uneasiness on the gabai to pick people for the undesirable aliya. The negative portion is read in a lower tone than usual.

In the Torah (26:18), G-d warns us ‘If, in despite, you do not listen to me, then I will punish you seven ways for your sins.’ According to our sages, punishment is meant to wake us up and correct our mistakes and become better people. However, Rav Henoch Leibowitz, z”l points out ‘there are those who do not take criticism very well and it’s counter productive to rebuke them.’ How easy it is today to get depressed when we encounter negativity. We live in a very pressurized society where the stress level is beyond normal. The amount of responsibilities is enormous; just paying bills is overwhelming; we are billed for everything; if opportunity strikes they’d bill us for breathing. There’s the headache of finding the right mate and the difficulty of trying to conceive. It seems like when one takes a breath of fresh air, new problems arise; therefore we are susceptible to be ‘down and out’. So how are we able to cope with our problems?

To shed some light on this question, I’d have to go back to this past Shabbat where I would take my customary walk after Rabbi Olbaum’s shiur, with my friend Ophir Haimov. Ophir reminded me of a gemarah that fits this d’var Torah perfectly. He said, ‘We all know King David wrote psalms, which happens to be one of the greatest dedications to G-d. However, believe it or not, it was almost surpassed by the psalms of none other then, the egotistical maniac, Nevuchanetzar.’ Nevuchanetzar was the king of Babylon who destroyed the first temple approximately 2500 years ago. This king of Babylon was a very complex character. On one hand, he was notoriously known for his cruelty towards humanity and also having the audacity to proclaim himself G-d. However, shockingly, there was a glimpse of strong appreciation and acknowledgement of G-d. He reached the heights of holiness and the depths of evil on a daily basis.

The gemara continues, ‘G-d sent an angel to knock his pen down and Nevuchanetzar never wrote again’. The commentaries explain the difference between the two; King David went through so many knocks but he never put down his pen. He was labeled an illegitimate son where he was ostracized by his father and brothers after beating Goliath. Instead of being embraced by King Shaul and given his daughter for marriage, Shaul tried to kill him. His own son rebelled and tried to kill him and in turn was killed against David’s wishes. But through these painful adventures, David never put his pen down and even proclaimed, ‘I feel closer to you then ever’. On the contrary, Nevuchanetzar never recovered from his ordeals and denounced G-d.

Similarly, we find Joseph, one of the twelve sons of Jacob, who was hated and sold by his brothers to a strange land. Joseph had to go through one of the biggest tests of all time; his boss’s wife was trying to seduce him for approximately a year; this was especially difficult being seventeen. Could the guys reading this dare to believe they cannot sin in that situation? One would figure after passing the test, G-d would reward him handsomely. Not so – he was put in jail for a lengthy time. Throughout his difficulties, we never heard Joseph complain. On the contrary, every conversation he had, Joseph praised G-d.

David and Joseph were able to persevere and reach the heights of being leaders of Israel because, of what Rav Leibowitz describes, people of their character have an ability to believe that whatever negativity they experienced, is inflicted by G-d himself for the direct results of their sins. As David writes in Tehillim, ‘I know that whatever happens, G-d will never leave me’. They were able to learn and become better, stronger people from their experience; there is always room for improvement. They didn’t say, “I’m just going to take a vacation and turn myself off from life until this bad time goes away.”

Before Ophir and I departed to our respective synagogues, he offered a great example. ‘It’s like poker; you don’t need a good hand to be a winner.’

Lag Ba’omer
 upsherin

One of the most spiritual and exhilarating times of my life occurred on lag ba’omer (the 33rd day from the 2nd day of Passover), five years ago. On that day, my family and I were in Miron, Israel; the site of the gravesite of Rebbi Shimon Bar Yochai, (also referred to as Rashby), the founder of Kabbalah (zohar), commemorating his yartzeit. It’s a custom not to cut the hair of young boys until they reach their third birthday. The cutting of the hair ceremony is called upsherin or kalacha. At the gravesite in Miron, there are many little boys awaiting haircuts. One of them was my son, as well as yours truly, when I was three, many years ago – well, not that long ago. It’s not your ordinary gravesite and we weren’t the only ones there. There are approximately 600,000 people visiting the site where bands play music, food stands are put up and various foods are distributed for free. I’ve never experienced a place where people are so friendly and polite to each other then lag ba’omer in Miron. It is Jews at their best and one experiencing this can really feel proud of being Jewish.

Why the custom of celebration on his yartzeit? Why the cutting of the hair? In fact, there is a strong Bukharian tradition of commemorating the yartzeit of a loved one by reading the portion of the zohar, which describes the death of Rebbi Shimon Bar Yochai. Why is the connection between his death and others emphasized? Also, why do Bukharians celebrate with a meal?

There is an emphasis in the zohar that Rashby died in peace, which in Hebrew is pronounced ‘shalom’. The root of the word shalom is shalem – complete. Therefore we learn that Rashby passed away in a perfect state, complete. The idea of kabbalah is to be completely infused with Torah in order to connect with it on every possible level, or worlds. The knowledge of Torah, through kabbalah, enables us to change frequencies, similar to changing channels on a radio dial. One hears different sounds when changing the dial even though he’s situated in the same spot.

Another example of different views of reality is the status of a woman accepting a wedding ring presented by her chattan, after he says ‘you are betrothed to me with this ring’. In the process, her status changes. Although the woman’s appearance is noticeably the same as before but on a different frequency, one can apparently notice the change of her being branded her husband’s name and the status of a married woman; so one must be careful and realize how powerful words, or any act for that matter, can be. When one makes a bracha on an apple, he doesn’t notice, but in other worlds (there are three) the apple changes status. Good and evil are more apparently noticed in other frequencies. Rashby’s philosophy was that material and physical are the skin that hides the holiness of the soul. The light has to come out. That is the reason haircuts are given on lag ba’omer. Hair represents materialism in its highest sense. Presumably, that is one of the reasons married women wear shaitels (wigs). Ask any person what is one of the main features of beauty in a woman. One of the leading answers would be the hair. Women take tremendous pride in beautifying the hair. It’s a tremendous self-sacrifice to cover one of their pride and joys. No matter how nice the wig is, any woman would still like to show her own hair. In essence, what a woman is saying to G-d, “I’m giving this up because of your commandment.” This is one of the biggest tests of faith the daughters of Israel have.

Rashby died achieving peace and completeness. Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan writes ‘one has to be at peace with himself in order to attain peace with others, and only then he can achieve great heights’; this is hinted in the zohar. The yartzeit was the one important part of Judaism in which Bukharians practiced in public back in Russia; it united people, and unity is the result of peace. Incidentally, ever wonder why one tradition at a yartzeit dinner are that there are no knives? Because that would go against Rashby’s message of shalom and shalem (peace and complete). Knives represent strife and war.

We also try to connect this zohar that we read to when one passes away. It describes how Rashby died complete and we try to symbolically connect the deceased to Rashby through the concept of ‘he died complete with peace.’ This is the reason why we read that particular passage in the zohar. We hope that with the read, G-d will have mercy and guide the soul with that of Rashby. Also, the passage describes a fire that came out of Rashby and into his disciples; this symbolizes the transformation of the Torah to the next generation. Here too is a transformation from one generation to the next.

There is a passage that says ‘G-d makes peace in the heavens by putting together fire and water, then He can surely make peace here on earth’. One reader asked a great question pertaining to last week’s article referring to opposites, which cannot exist in the spiritual world. So then how can fire and water co-exist together?  Opposites are usually at odds with each other! G-d made a miracle not only enabling fire and water to co-exist with each other, but He made peace (shalom and made them shalem) between them, wedging them together through the common denominator, G-d; now they have similarity.

Seeing my son smile while I gave him his first haircut as the music was blasting the song ‘Bar Yochai’ which is one of the favorite songs that was sung by Pop, z'”l, and I, at the Friday night Shabbat table, made that moment an extremely happy occasion. Rashby said, “I want People to celebrate my yartzeit with tremendous joy”. Well, I sure did.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Avi Matmon
Spark of Jewish Experience